* Posts by Camilla Smythe

986 posts • joined 3 Apr 2009

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R2D2 delivery robots to scurry through the streets of San Francisco

Camilla Smythe
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Re: fixed hazards will be the real challenge

Ah... Yes. However Bullitt failed to trash his 'pinto'[?] on said streets so the robots will be OK. Presumably the fixie delivery bike riders in said city have a different set of gears on their flop-flips to go with their massive thighs and perceive no threat.

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UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Camilla Smythe
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Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

WTF...? Unacceptable even if trying to be ironic. Unacceptable. Shame on you.

You are quite right. It was a piss poor attempt to highlight the offenders lack of respect for others. Post withdrawn.

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Sad reality: It's cheaper to get hacked than build strong IT defenses

Camilla Smythe
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Re: Pinto was one of the few times a reputation took a sustained hit

Tom Clancy made a buck or two out of it...

http://tomclancy.wikia.com/wiki/Debt_of_Honor

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: Sadly very true

Perhaps others may have missed the sarcasm in your post thereby resulting in you getting more down votes than up votes.

I am sure that what you meant to say rather than imply is something along the lines of...

<sarc>Company officers actually have a legal duty to operate the company in a financially responsible manner.</sarc>

However the regulatory authorities involved, in this case financial, are either clueless shitwanks, limp thickdicks, in someone else's pocket, taking bribes or expect to parachute out of their 'public service' job into an executive role for the offending company on more money than they get at the moment along with a Golden Goodbye and Pension Pot from their previous 'public service role' so fuck all happens.

The previous applies to any and all regulatory authorities, unless they are fucking over a 'public service entity' whereby any fine and/or costs are paid for by your taxes, and, as a result, nothing short of exploding dildo LiION batteries will wake them from their slumber, probably not, having crawled off the wife in order to drool on the dog whilst snoring after another exceptional one minute performance with 10 inches of rock hard meat, 'Mr Limp' failed to protrude beyond the belly, leaving the wife to finish the job off and then the bean counters will still do a cost-benefit analysis.

Err... You might prefer to use different words.

HTH

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Forgive me, father, for I have used an ad-blocker on news websites...

Camilla Smythe
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When I wert lad....

We had feature in browser called 'narrow slot mode' which were invoked by them there free toolbar things. Then I learned stuff and got rid only to find that later screen filled up with browsing experience enhancements disguised as adverts for socks. Anyways once again I learned stuff and got rid but browser reverted to 'narrow slot mode' what with all the little blocky icons filling up the top bit. Then narrow slot just says 'we use cookies to improve your browsing experience', blah blah and when I click the x to make that go away instead of it being replaced with pictures of socks some other message comes up saying I have to switch off my blocky thing to look at the sock pictures and I'm like 'which fucking one you twats?'

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Judge makes minor tweaks to sex ban IT man's order

Camilla Smythe
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Take care what you say...

Both to your Doctor and to Mental Health professionals. They are bound by confidentiality but, IANAL, in the event that you reveal any information to them that might be indicative that you are a threat to someone else's well-being they are required to act on that information and confidentiality no longer applies. That's a 'judgement call' from them but they are likely to err on the side of caution. In respect of some other authority being overzealous or otherwise acting in an unexpected manner according to the information they are supplied....

He told his GP that he needed women “to be scared, or I don't respond” in bed and also told the doctor he may have raped a former partner. In court he claimed this was part of a sado-masochistic fantasy and that the doctor had misunderstood what he was saying.

"This is a predictive allegation of a sex crime and the new law allows it to be offloaded to a civil court," he told the BBC. The new order bans him from discussing his sado-masochistic fantasies with medical personnel, and all his medical appointments must now have a chaperone.

It is not an 'predictive allegation'. It is likely to be about perceived probabilities and might better be seen as a pre-emptive course of action out of concern for the safety of others. I am not suggesting that some of the restrictions placed on the person concerned may have been over the top but I would not want my daughter to unwittingly end up on the wrong side of someone else's sado-masochistic fantasies.. should they choose to turn them into reality.

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Not enough personality: Google Now becomes Google Not Anymore

Camilla Smythe
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Yahbut..

You want it to remind you to do something at a certain time which involves visiting a certain place.

Contacts: To reply to people who get in touch when you are delivering your letters to tell them you are delivering letters and say you will call them back.

Calendars: To check that you will be free at the time when you wish to deliver your letters rather than in an important meeting you have forgotten about.

Apps: In case you want to play Pokemon on the way to the letterbox. You might find a new one you have not yet caught.

Music: So you can listen to some jazz on your walk to the letterbox... cool.

Battery Life: To ensure that it has enough juice to guide you to the nearest, profitable, letterbox by the best, profitable, route and, based on your browsing history guide you past multiple 'sock shops'.

Sensor Readings: To make sure you are following the most profitable route to the sock shop, letterbox.

Places you go: In order to make the journey more, profitable, interesting.

Bank contact details, pin and password: In order to make sure you have enough credit to buy some, stamps, socks.

and so it goes on.

See. In order to, monetise you, do its job faithfully and properly it needs all of this data about you. I really have no idea what you might be moaning about.

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: Oh when

Eh? Surely Duh Gooberments just lurve this sort of stuff. Let Google do the heavy lifting and then subpoena them for the bits they want.

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FBI overpaid $999,900 to crack San Bernardino iPhone 5c password

Camilla Smythe
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Extradition in.. 3... 2... 1...

Do not make the FBI look dumb.

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UK Science Museum will reconsider its 'sexist' brain quiz

Camilla Smythe
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Whut?

Mint asked if I wanted to download the file or play it with videos... so I downloaded it and then tried to open it in Firefox and I was asked if I wanted to download the file or play it with videos... I guess I'll just have to accept my gender as being a Beardie with Body Odour and Crusty Socks.

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'We already do that, we’re just OG* enough to not call it DevOps'

Camilla Smythe
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Even....

after reading the comments I am no further forward.

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Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Camilla Smythe
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Trump Would Disagree..

Good thing they decided to recolate the bees. We sorely need them to keep up biodiversity and to prevent food prices from skyrocketing.

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Adblock Plus blocks Facebook block of Adblock Plus block of Facebook block of Adblock Plus block of Facebook ads

Camilla Smythe
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I do occasionaly visit Face Book.

No account but other people occasionally link to drivel they have hosted there, usually Politicians. Can someone explain to me what the fascination is because I see little to no merit in what is being presented or the way it is being presented. At a personal level, assuming it is sooo good, I do not understand why someone has not already ripped it off and hosted it on Amazon.

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League of lawsuits: Game developer sues cheat-toting website

Camilla Smythe
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IDDQD.. #IPBill

If you leave, or put in place, 'back doors'... Someone will find and make use of them.

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How do you securely exchange encrypted-decrypted-recrypted data? Ask Microsoft

Camilla Smythe
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Re: Fuck Off!!1!!

Better???

Erm.. not really. All I see is some concept whereby Microsoft thinks it can keep its 'Walled Garden' safe from the prying eyes of others who own similar 'Walled Gardens' whilst being able to peer into 'their' 'Walled Garden' in a manner that will allow them to sell me SOCKS I have already bought without supposedly knowing I was the purchaser. Beyond the guff I spy no difference.

In respect of Windows 10 I think my box may have been constructed..

# dmidecode 2.12

SMBIOS 2.5 present.

40 structures occupying 1133 bytes.

Table at 0x000F0000.

Handle 0x0000, DMI type 0, 24 bytes

BIOS Information

Vendor: Phoenix Technologies, LTD

Version: PBSANFMB.0800

Release Date: 07/06/2007

Strange to say I looked that up on Google as the first hit and did not have to trog through to page 18 in order to discover another page asking me to install "Windows Best Bios Version Finder" cruftware...

Sometime after 2007 and came with Vista installed but that got scrubbed for various flavours of Linux, which I also randomly scream at. I suppose I just shout from the outside out of concern for those who are not Reg Readers who are quite happy in their blissful ignorance. GT85..

Plus, Microsoft might decide to add a Microsoft eXtra Like button to as many websites that they can and...

.gov likes to store all of your 'personal data' on azure so given Microsoft is developing their algyorythms to hervist your dita wivout knewing abbot yu then that is all kool. <- Appli ROT13

"Hi. Having used our algorithms to look through the .gov data we hold about you we do not know who you are but it looks like you need a truss for that hernia and some new FUCKING SOCKS."

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Camilla Smythe
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Fuck Off!!1!!

Such secure data exchange open to door to all sorts of applications including the ability to train algorithms, perform market research, conduct auctions and enable new business opportunities.

I HAVE ALREADY BOUGHT SOME FUCKING SOCKS SO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ALGORITHMICALLY ADVERTISE THEM TO ME AGAIN IN ORDER TO IMPROVE MY BROWSING EXPERIENCE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG SOCKS LAST ME OR ARE YOU GOING TO ALGORITHMICALLY DETERMINE THAT. STOP TRYING TO FUCK WITH MY SOCK PURCHASING PROCESS.. THERE ARE CERTAIN DECISIONS I CAN MAKE FOR MYSELF WITHOUT TWATS SUCH AS YOURSELF TRYING TO MAKE A CENT FROM ME SHITTING IN A LEFT ONE BECAUSE THE TOILET WAS NOT AVAILABLE AND NOT MENTIONING IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. FUCK, YOU COULD NOT EVEN ALGORITHMICALLY SELL ME WASHING POWDER FOR MY FUCKING SOCKS. WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE IF YOU OR SOME OTHER TWAT TRIES TO ALGORITHMICALLY SELL ME SOME SOCKS I ALREADY HAVE?

TWATS... THAT IS ALL.

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Head of UK oversight body to join GCHQ 'tech help desk'*

Camilla Smythe
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Do Not Call Me Surely.

Last time I felt the need to prod IOCCO Ms Cavan, after a bit of provoking for a response, informed me that I had to provide evidence of the interception of *my* communications and the harm it had done to *myself*. So basically IOCCO was and, having seen something recent, still stands as a bastion of the plethora of the UKs regulatory Chocolate Teapots.

Seems like she has gone off to be advised by others at GCHQ how to pour warm Tea, presumably with milk added to it at the brewing stage. Perhaps she has demonstrated that she is a 'safe pair of hands' who will 'rock the boat' according to instructions. Welcome to 'The Mathmos' Jo, at least Jane Fonda had more sense and went on to blow up 'The Orgasmotron'

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Brexit Britain: HP Sauce vs BBC.co.uk – choices that defined voters

Camilla Smythe
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"We Voted Leave..."

"Now hurry up and sort it out!!1!!"

"Hang on.. you created the problem so it is not my problem."

"Fucking is. Where are my curved Bananas in bunches of more than three!!1!!"

"In the shops?"

"And my £350 million a week for the NHS!!1!!"

"Did not exist in the first place."

"Fucking Did Toooooo."

"OK, you try and find it.. everyone else has run away."

"Look Cunt!!1!! I voted for free beer and curried Richmond Sausage Sandwich every night."

"Did you expect an extra shag with that?"

"Damn Right. Plus extra helpings of Good British Spotted Dick and Custard."

"Was it in the manifesto?"

"No!!1!! but all the other stuff was so what's the difference?"

"Did anyone you voted for ever deliver on their manifesto?"

"Stop Fucking with my head. Are you a Foreigner?"

"I guess the stuff you want was not there and the stuff you voted for was not there either."

"No. But.. I voted for it so now you have to do it!!1!!"

"Why?"

"Because we live in a Democracy and it is your fucking problem!!1!!"

"Perhaps you mean I get to suffer as a result of your stupidity?"

"Err Yeh. That!!1!! So Fucking sort it."

"Sorry. Can't help you."

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NASA test foiled by rocket shaking power cord loose from camera

Camilla Smythe
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FAIL

Stereo?

Aside from that SNAFU, the new High Dynamic Range Stereo X (HiDyRS-X) camera did a grand job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPfcwT4Fcy8

All I get is silence. Did the audio cable drop out at the start or did they forget the Slim Line Salad Dressing?

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Facebook to forcefeed you web ads, whether you like it or not: Ad blocker? Get the Zuck out!

Camilla Smythe
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Uhm...

Has anyone noticed FaceBook is smeared all over the Interwanks in much the same way that Google is and as such is spawning their cookies into your InterLooker such that even if you are not a 'member' they are still going to try and sell you the socks you bought last week.

You can also find them, and the usual suspects, including doubleclick on the nhs.uk, page that deals with your itchy knob problem that might be Gonorrhoea but you did not wish to ask 'The Partner' so you went to a 'Trusted Source' who you thought would not share it with 'others'...

'Hippocratic Oath' and such stuff...

http://urlquery.net/domain_graph.php?id=1470769733369

Ooops. Now DoubleClick, the advertising arm of Alphabet formerly known as Google along with the other Interlocutors.. and there will be more, knows you think you might have a Gonorrhoea problem.

Presumably Mr Zuch (Known for his Zukkhini sized Penis Zucchini), Page, Brin and Pichai will be checking before they decide to 'get wet' with you whilst they sell off all of your data and pocket the profits from "Compare The Knob Cream Dot Com".

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AdBlock Plus blocked in China: 159m forbidden from stripping adverts

Camilla Smythe
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Re: Hah Ha. Fuck off AdBlock Plus.

Either way, that kind of thinking is conceited beyond belief.

Full fat internet filled with pages that take minutes rather than milliseconds to load, or eat through already limited data allowances on mobile phones, etc etc.

Eat my multiplicity of Kardashian's Arse dressed in Latex or go play Sudoku as provided by 'She who also has a big bum".

As a 'non-member' of The IAB I will inform you that 'our' industry is 'worth' bazillions a year so rather than getting on my case you might do better if you buggered off and read The Daily Mail on-line.

In case you missed it 'our' industry is worth fucking bazillions which makes your opinion less than worthless.

In perspective.. Everyone else is so totally into X-Factor so basically you lose the end game.

Now... about those socks you bought last week?

http://thenextweb.com/shareables/2016/07/28/this-hilarious-skit-shows-exactly-whats-wrong-with-ads-on-the-web/

Good luck switching off the twat in your browser to view that one. Silly me you read El Reg so you are so fucking clever including condoms. Yo!!!!!! Check out your next door neighbour!!11??!!11 who can wipe their own arse as long as they are wiping their own arse and it does not involve anything teknilogicil.

Oh yeah.... and Net Neutrality is so fucking passé..... plus other stuff.

Nice Try. You lose. Game Over.

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Camilla Smythe
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Hah Ha. Fuck off AdBlock Plus.

Everyone needs to get used to the 'full fat' interwank and we do not need twats like you fucking about with things. Now kindly dry up and blow away.

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Windows 10 still free, even the Anniversary Update, if you're crass

Camilla Smythe
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Re: Twisting in the wind

Because 11 is one louder than 10?

Urrm No. Because Windows 11 will come with a Spinal Tap. HTH

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: All of which begs the question:

Abusing the blue Badge scheme means that you are depriving someone with a legitimate need of a good that's in limited supply. Not something that applies to WinX.

Thanks. Most succinct but it would seem you have not thought my Dilemma through. I'll go for the downvotes...

Would you wish Windows 10 on a cripple?

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Camilla Smythe
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All of which begs the question:

All of which begs the question: is it acceptable to take advantage of an offer Microsoft's made to a very deserving group of users? Make us proud, Reg readers.

The question raises a slight Dilemma. The Blue Badge system, free parking for those with disabilities in Right Pondia, is regularly abused. Taking advantage of Microsoft's offer...?

For the moment I find myself incapable of describing the conflict that is presently in my head which, for the moment is preventing me from expressing a properly reasoned view of the situation.

Errr... OK, you can have a Blue Badge but only if you own a Trabant. Uhm... We have noticed you have enabled large fonts. May we recommend Bob's Opticians, they have a branch in Bognor Regis just 200 yards up the road from you. Yes you can downgrade to Windows 7 but we are unable to recover or implement Assistive Technologies on your downgraded version and the Upgrade To 10 messages, as scaled according to your last setting of large fonts, will be presented as a 107x106 gif image which you either will not notice or otherwise be incapable of clicking on the right part in order to refuse the Upgrade to 10. Have a Nice Day. Team Microsoft 10.

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: Twisting in the wind Be careful what you wish for..

Unfortunately, the entire experience with 10 is ruined by its nagware and insistence on phoning home every more the user makes - I'd happily pay for a version that to could easily customize to remove bloatware and maintain some semblance of privacy.

So overall I'm waiting until Windows goes to 11.

At the moment Only Spinal Tap goes to Eleven. Let's try and keep it like that.

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Dolly the sheep clones have aged well, say scientists

Camilla Smythe
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Re: Good

Top shelves will be superfluous. They are just places for Men to try and hide their wank mags under our collections of soft furnishings.

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Camilla Smythe
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Good

Full steam ahead on getting rid of the male of the specieses.

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Camilla Smythe
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What he said.

Absolute sacrilege - tea doesn't brew properly once the milk is added.

The fat in the milk clogs the pores in the Teabag if you are using them and/or otherwise coats the leaves so the water cannot act properly upon them. Either you wait for ages or end up with piss weak Tea. Putting milk in brewing Tea is....

"Well. I did almost think that it was time to pay them a visit but they seem to have being doing some terribly stupid stuff recently what with the...."

"My Lord!! We have reports of someone placing milk in brewing tea!"

"ARGGGGGH. Drop the Quarantine Buoy and get us out of here. Maximum Speed."

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Captain Piccard's planet-orbiting solar aircraft in warped drive drama

Camilla Smythe
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Around The World in 21 Days.

What were they faffing about with for the other 488 days?

I'll leave someone else to explain which bit I misread.

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Pokemon GO-ZILLA: Safety fears after monsters appear in Fukushima danger zone

Camilla Smythe
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Hai!

Hai!

You phone is here!

We create next Pokemon here!

Go catch Pokemon!

Hai!

You phone is here!

We create next Pokemon here!

Go catch Pokemon!

Hai!

You phone is here!

We create next Pokemon here!

Go catch Pokemon!

Hai!

You phone is here!

We create next Pokemon here!

Go catch Pokemon!

Hai!

You phone is here!

We create next Pokemon here!

Go catch Pokemon!

Hai!

Lost GPS signal on your phone!

Glug Glug Glug.

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Harrison Ford's leg, in the Star Wars film, with the Millennium Falcon door

Camilla Smythe
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Ford, best known..

..for playing CSO Jack Stanfield in the 2006 cyber-thriller Firewall.

Not part of my memory but he still pulls the same faces. Just another one trick horse like Brian Blessed.

<rant>

I thought a Firewall was that thing you stuck between sections of Forests... Oh hang on it's that iptables thing you use to stop some script kiddie twat face from connecting to your mail server 20 times every second.

Perhaps Jack Stanfield can sort that one out for me. Can someone implement IPv6 sometime soon. I realise I will be totally identifiable but it will force a rewrite of that 'Yo Scan The Internet in 20 seconds' shite that lives on github.

Oh and whilst I am on the case.

FUCK OFF Umich.Edu, and the rest of the twats. I did not ask you for a 'security/research scan' and you did not offer me any 'results'. Go get your students to practice on your own network.

</rant>

<sarc>

I, for one, will be glad when the IPBill is passed because it will nip all this script kiddy shit in the bud as our Security Forces swing into action and prevent people taking £600 out of my bank account via Western Union for the privilege of having my computer fucked over some more or having to buy more storage for my log files. Go Theresa.

</sarc>

Otherwise I am inclined to agree with Health And Safety at Work... even if it involves pretend movie security experts..... What? You mean the character has been adopted and promoted by GCHQ? Perhaps I'll just go to bed and wake up when this bad dream is all over.

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She wants it. She needs it. Shall I give it to her or keep doing it by myself?

Camilla Smythe
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Ah Yes... Windows .tmp files.

Something like that anyway.

"job: 36890786: logged from user XXXX

Hi my computer has crashed. Help!!"

Pays to visit.

"Hi. Problem?"

"Yes it just stopped working and my Power Point Presentation has been lost."

"Oh. OK. Let's just have a look in here. Hmm sort by date."

"Wow! what are all those ~weird files?"

"Err. Those are the ones that are using up 94% of your hard drive."

"OK. Let's just rename the last one to .ppt and have a looksie."

"Oh great thanks. I would have hated to have lost all that work."

"No Problems. What do you want to do with the other ones?"

"Uhm?"

"Looks like two years worth of crashes."

"All my work!!!?"

"Yup. Do you remember what it might have been."

"Uhm.... No."

del *.*

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Coup-Tube: Turkey blocks social networks amid military takeover

Camilla Smythe
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Re: if you can read this you are probably one of the lucky ones

Last I knew grass roots Turkey was inhabited by credible people. You make it sound like Theresa May is in control whilst Boris Johnson is dealing with foreign policy. Welcome home.

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Get ready for mandatory porn site age checks, Brits. You read that right

Camilla Smythe
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Re: It was my fault.

Uhm... I told them damp string was the pron filter, cough, and they seemed to accept that self regulation was the proper way forward for the industry.

I also dropped in on The Climate Change Committee and cautioned about rising sea levels as a result of all this rain we have been having recently. They were a bit nonplussed until I pointed out that all of that water eventually finds its way back into the sea via those things called rivers.

Anyway. I advised that they raise the Thames Barrier to stop the rain entering the sea and implement a hose pipe ban until it had all evaporated. They seemed much happier after I had provided them with a solution they understood rather than the problems other expert witnesses come up with.

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Camilla Smythe
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It was my fault.

I was demonstrating how communications systems worked to The Committee and one of them asked how they could achieve the higher speeds they had been promising without spending any money so I showed them how things got better if you put a bit of tension in the string.

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Forget YouTube – meet ChewTube: Strangers watching millennials eat

Camilla Smythe
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South Korea... Noodles.

I believe the operative word is Ramen and yes Ramyeon, South Korean Ramyeon as opposed to the Japanese or Chinese version which is considered to be rubbish, is very popular as a base for a meal. They even have Ramyeon Restaurants. There was however some concern from the Government that Da Yoof who were doing it at home were getting slightly fat because they were adding too much or too much of the wrong stuff to the base so they published some advisory videos and parody arrived. It's quick, simple, infinitely variable and fits within a five minute video.

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Raspberry Pi 3 tops SBC poll for self-brew hackers and Linux folk

Camilla Smythe
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Meh

Every time I load Jessie on my B2, wheezy no longer available, and upgrade it bash auto-complete disappears...

And do not even try to suggest to me that I should edit some bash resource file in order to get it back.

Idiots.

Presumably I should blame systemD.

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Open letter from EPO staff pleads with country reps to fire president

Camilla Smythe
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Mr Battistelli

Should file and then grant a Patent on his own behaviour then tell the rest of them to 'fuck off' on pain of being 'patent trolled'.

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Holy kittens! YouTube screens go blank

Camilla Smythe
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Way to Go Google...

Does that mean they fucked up the associated CDN, Content Delivery Network, as well? Wankers.

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Cloudian clobbers car drivers with targeted ads

Camilla Smythe
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Pointing and calling

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pointing_and_calling

"Hai!! Advert for muschi muschi toy!!"

"Hai!! Advert for muschi muschi toy!!"

"Hai!! Advert for muschi muschi toy!!"

"Hai!! Advert for muschi muschi toy!!"

"Hai!! Advert for muschi muschi toy!!"

-

-

"Hai!!" BANG CRUMP

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US House to vote on whether poor people need mobile phones

Camilla Smythe
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Not Subsidising Mobile Homes!?

Well, that's at least 20% of the US youth hero movie industry fucked.

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Rejoice, fatties: Giving chocolate electric shocks makes it healthier

Camilla Smythe
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Fucking Researchers..

Reducing fat also means that chocolate has a higher cocoa concentration making it richer and tastier, the researchers said: “We are expecting a new class of healthier and tastier chocolate soon.”

Erm.. nope. They will just introduce some more homogeneously blended sawdust to bring it back down to your previously adjusted expectations.. and then continue to lower those expectations.

Cocoa butter, a vital ingredient of most chocolate, boosts fat levels and is added to give chocolate a smooth velvety texture when it melts in the mouth, so when it’s taken away or substituted, the chocolate becomes gloopy.

It's called Cacao and if you believe the tree huggers then United CACAO, EPIC CHOC, is out to destroy the Peruvian Rain Forests...

http://www.burness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/FINAL-Brief-LSE-Deforestation-Peru-5.4.16.pdf

According to CHOC...

http://www.unitedcacao.com/index.php/en/

Cacao is a rare and dwindling resource so these 'pseudo boffins' have just reduced the share price by at least another 10%. Bastards.

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Cash-strapped English and Welsh cops prepare to centralise all 43 forces' websites

Camilla Smythe
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Uhm.. ICRs anyone.

After an extremely long process the Police ICT Company finally got off the ground last year. It is funded by police forces with the remit of reducing cops' annual IT bill of £1bn.

https://www.dontspyonus.org.uk/blog/2016/03/30/%E2%80%98snoopers%E2%80%99-charter%E2%80%99-could-hit-police-forces-with-%C2%A31-billion-bill/

Presumably the 3,000 Plod will be redeployed making May mandated SQL queries on the collected data from the 'non-centralised data-base' whilst the rest of the force, with no access to IT, will have to stay at home with Nintendo prior to being laid off.

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Apple pollutes data about you to protect your privacy. But it might not be enough

Camilla Smythe
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Re: @ Camilla Smythe @ inmypjs

I do apologise to short people by offering you up as an excuse as to why the point may have gone over the head of @RJ1.

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: @ inmypjs

@AC Oh Dear...

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Camilla Smythe
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Re: @ inmypjs

With a well presented point(?) like yours I equate your post with worthless.

@Richard Jones 1

Presumably it went over your head because you are a short person. Will you accept that, should I be so inclined, if I were to send an e-mail to you on your, assuming you do have one, gmail account then the contents would be subject to analysis by Google.... bit of a waste of time me setting up and running my own mail server to avoid Google then. Oh silly me, it's ever so convenient for you though and you do not mind giving up a bit of your privacy for that convenience... but stuff everyone else.

Recently I started getting spammed by LinkedIn on behalf of an American Lawyer. Turns out he, as a privacy advocate, had managed to spaff all of his contacts to LinkedIn. FFS. I hope that gaff did not include 'important clients'. Otherwise I suppose LinkedIn is really convenient and such stuff and hey... you do not mind giving up a bit of your privacy for the convenience... but stuff everyone else.

Especially when people feed email from other accounts through gmail so the sender can't tell it will be read by google.

Case in point my MP runs his own website mymp.com and provides a contact e-mail address mymp@mymp.com so being dumb I think it might be fairly useful to use that one to have a moan at him about something...

;; QUESTION SECTION:

:mymp.com. IN MX

;; ANSWER SECTION:

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX4.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX3.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX5.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 5 ALT2.ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 1 ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 5 ALT1.ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

:mymp.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX2.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

Hey... but that's alright. It is just so bloody convenient... and stuff the rest of you.

Now you mention how pristine you are, for yourself, about Google and presumably other cookies. I do not know for certain because I have my mail locked down to avoid it but does Google try to set cookies via e-mail? If so then you again assuming you use gmail may well be spuking their cookies all over your mates computers but that's OK because whilst you are so informed and it's all so convenient.. stuff everyone else.

Of course if your mates are not as dead clev as you.. yeah well, as you know it's all so convenient so stuff them.

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Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: So what happens....

Not necessarily confused but I am prone to making things up. Your example of Safari does seem to exemplify what I may have been blithering on about and the wiki page, way above my head, does hint at something else going on.

I was previously going to go off the deep end and suggest that rather than attempting to 'pollute' the data Apple should just not collect it in the first place but it would seem that they still can and do want to make cash from it by farming it out for analysis by others. No doubt they do the same internally themselves.

Being a bit of a luddite I'm not sure I would trust this 'pollution' concept, as you suggest the implementation is key and it seems, headline example was the Netflix one that others have had misplaced confidence in the past.... It would seem in that case and others things fall over where someone takes two data sets, one less anonymous than the other in order to make a match that identifies a 'real' person... So you pollute the data such that...

So Dave is named in one data-set, not from Apple, and has a number of interests not including thirsty diesel engines but including gardening and other stuff. Dave also appears in Apple's data-set and is also interested in the other stuff but not gardening however Apple slips in an interest in thirsty diesel engines in order to 'pollute' things. However Apple are clever and remove any personal identifying information about Dave. Now we cannot be absolutely certain that unknown Dave is known Dave

The NSA get hold of the data-sets and notice that Dave with no name looks very similar to Dave with a name. The NSA do a chi squared test and are marginally certain that the Dave they know about who is interested gardening but not diesel is the Unnamed Dave offered up by Apple who is interested in diesel but not gardening.

They reason, realising the risk, that Unknown Dave from Apple is likely to be stockpiling diesel for AMFO using his Apple Anonymised account whilst being a bit relaxed elsewhere as named Dave about his apparently benign gardening practices in order to obtain fertiliser again for his AMFO so just to be safe they send in the SWAT team.

Something like that anyway.

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Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: So what happens....

So.... You are into trains and in particular Napier diesel engines. You've even gone and built your own on a static stand much to the chagrin of the Wife who wishes you would do some gardening. Apple decides that you are now into gardening and spend an inordinate amount of time researching fertiliser. Diesel + Fertilizer = AMFO. You are now a terrorist.

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