* Posts by Camilla Smythe

859 posts • joined 3 Apr 2009

Page:

German Chancellor fires hydrogen plasma with the push of a button

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Bollocks A picture speaks 1000 words:

@cbars

Cheers.

Unless I write one then I cannot point you to such a paper. I should also state that I am not suggesting that Lawson is discredited... just that its thinking is not deep enough inside the box because the big hammer guys are simultaneously working on the 'three dimensions' to that box, Energy, Density, Time, because they are fixated on Lawson rather than trying to isolate and specifically control any one particular 'variable' in order to leverage a possible advantage...Just building bigger piles of wood in the expectation that things are going to spontaneously combust and drive the steam engine hung off the back of it?

Of course if I were to write such a paper and I will state all I could do is 'postulate' because I do not have the required knowledge to fully argue my case... as in... Blah, Blah, Blah and by the way here is one that is working, unlike your pieces of big hammer shit so go suck on that one. I'd be pilloried, excommunicated and burned at the stake before the status quo got back to building bigger Big Physics hammers.

Still since you appear to be interested and prepared to lend an ear... Assuming I have not misunderstood The Lawson Criterion then which is the important part of Energy, Density, Time that does not nominally involve probability and is therefore utterly, completely and thoroughly wasted by the other two according to some huge combined power loss law as identified by Lawson, and others, in their search for a 'self sustaining' reaction?

0
1
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Bollocks A picture speaks 1000 words:

http://clivebest.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/F3.large_.jpg

That will do nicely and thank you very much.

This is the state of dysfunctional fusion research based on The Lawson Criterion. Energy, Density, Time.

So. Since 1968 the numpties have been building bigger and bigger hammers in an effort to match some dream-line related to the combined three parts of that misplaced Criterion and every time it does not work they go and build a bigger hammer.

"Wow.. Like Awesome."

"Big Science Dude!"

"Does it Work?"

"Not Yet. We need a bigger one."

"Will it work when you have a bigger one?"

"Errr... maybe. We need more Data."

"Why didn't you build a bigger one in the first place?"

"Stop asking fucking questions! Man you are oppressing me!!"

As Oprah once said...

"It's not the Size of Your Knob. It's how you Row The Boat."

0
4
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Bollocks

Mash the thumb from your left hand up the VGA port. Use your right hand to wave your fluorescent tube at the Overhead Aluminium Wires and you are good to go.

1
9
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: 1(3) Thumb(s) Down!!?

I'll get this wrong but appreciated. My parents bought me 'Victor' as I child and I never grew up. I did meet some Germans once and they claimed not to have a sense of humour. I think they may have been joking but... that one went totally over my head because they did not follow it up with the "Did you hear about the Indian Bloke who tried to get out of the Goat Sex Farm by becoming part of Microsoft Support Services?" Naturally I do apologise. If Ms Merkel wishes to spend the next, repetitive, 50 years investing in a repetitively bigger hammer to twat against old technology I should bite my tongue and not take the piss out of those who elected her. Gosh... I suppose it would not help if I reminded you that I think the other races in respect of fusion research are idiots as well?

1
18

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Bollocks

I've been railing against the present direction of nuclear fusion for the past 30 years and the idiots have repeatedly spent the last 'it will work in 50 years' getting it completely fucking wrong.

Now the Germans join in...

Herr Ubersturmbarfuher. It ist not fusing!!!

Gott in Himmel. Gift Umbeelerdang einst HammerungMachininenBerlicktBiggerZumpf!!!!

Yetz!!! Neu Im Programme!!

Probably just as well because if Patrick Stewart turned up on my doorstep he would get his fucking egg head kicked in.

There you go folks. Planets fucked. No salvation. Go program Internet of Fucked.

1
42

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Wuh!?

It does seem ever so slightly implausible that a 'single router' would be able to inflict such carnage across the entire network unless the entire network suddenly, for some reason, became dependent on that 'single router' perhaps by having all of its traffic sent through that 'single router'... Is a 'single router' now the acceptable technical term for a chuffing great big rack of DPI kit bought by GCHQ from Huawei and installed in the network?

4
4

ICO says TalkTalk customers need to get themselves a lawyer

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Maybe some people can Lawyer Up...

...and take the ICO to court for failing to do their job properly...

2
1

How to build a starship - and why we should start thinking about it now

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Trah-La-La-Lah....

Can we just sort out the problem of back doors to encryption first?

0
3

Ban internet anonymity – says US Homeland Security official

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

As I tried to explain to Plip Plops....

Unfortunately I am unable to stroke you any more. He was rather insistent butting his head against me but I remained strong and ignored him. He died the next day. I am a good citizen and do not miss him.

2
1

Whew! How to tell if a DevOps biz is peddling a load of manure

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

DevOps...

Is this 'new' as in DevOpsOrrhea1 or should we wait for DevOpsOrrhea2 to solve all of our problems?

Trust me. I do not have a fucking semblance of a clue but beer might make me prescient.

6
0

UK Home Sec wants Minority Report-style policing – using your slurped data

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Dear ISIS

From a purely technical (and theoretical) standpoint, the 'getting within a mile' bit.

Apparently Plod would have taken on the duty of identifying all dark skinned people with purple hair and beards within that radius after the event.

Even with a good rifle-and-scope-combo, I'd try to keep it well under 400 m.

A 'shitty rifle' with no scope at 500 yrds gives you a 4 ft group or better if you know it and pay attention to the flags and weather.

Why do you think I asked ISIS to provide the proper 'tool for the job' along with a cunning disguise?

Shit...

Next thing I know you will be suggesting I do not have a basic clue about what the fuck I am talking about.

5
0
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Dear ISIS

One thumb down...

Unlike Ms May I am open to discussion and reasoned argument as to how I fucked up.

Which part did I get wrong?

5
0
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Dear ISIS

I have been previously diagnosed with paranoid delusional ideation as a result of an effort to kill myself because I thought people were following me around the intertubes.

Whilst I know you are a bunch of cunts if you have a spare rifle of suitable quality and can get me within one mile of The Bitch I can aim bridge of nose and, worst case, put the bullet through her eye.

I can also reload and get a second one on the way which will hit before she has managed to respond to first impact.

Please also provide a pack of Grecian 2000 and some self tanning lotion that would suit Mr Cameron so Plod can predictively put things together and catch the 'right man'.

You may wish to plant a rumour that Cameron has being involved in the 'double backed beast' with May.. It's not as if Major was not 'inside' Currie previously.

Thanks for radicalising me..... Oh I see what you did there.

8
1

US rapper slams Earth is Round conspiracy in Twitter marathon

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: He is in fact almost right.....

If we only live in two dimensions, how come I get fat when I drink too many pints? (Or fall down for that matter)

Hmm Two Thumbs Down.

"Copernicus was a Cunt."

"No, he's a Witch!"

"How do we prove it?

"Drown Him!!!!!!!"

"What if he floats?"

"Witch!!!!"

"Burn Him if He Floats!!!!!1"

"He'll be wet!?1"

"Copses are made of wood!"

"What!1?"

"Transliteration Mate. Copernicus = Copse."

"He is made of Wood. Witch!! Burn Him!!! Burn Him Now!!11"

Just to expand on 'standing up'... That's going to take you a bit of energy to move yourself away from the other items in your Two Dimensional world assuming there is an attraction between the bits involved.

3
0
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: He is in fact almost right.....

If we only live in two dimensions, how come I get fat when I drink too many pints? (Or fall down for that matter)

That's just your 'perception'.

In your Two Dimensional world being 'fat', at certain locations of your body, can be constrained to a 'perception' of the X/Y dimensions of it as imposed by the nature of the Two Dimensional world you live in and the way you sense and interpret it.

As to 'Falling Over'...

Consider that 'Standing Up' minimises the X/Y locations as you sense and interpret them within that Two Dimensional world. You are still allowed to be 'fat'. Standing up just reduces your X/Y profile.

Rather than using 'Falling Over' consider going to bed. You expand yourself in one dimension and contract in the other having orientated yourself first but perceive that you are lying down. It's a gentle and controlled process and you are still allowed to be 'fat'.

My gut also looks better when I think I am lying down.

Of course if you choose to get wrecked and then 'fall over' the process is less likely to be gentle or controlled but you will not know much about it until the next morning whereby, if you did manage to do some damage to your Two Dimensional body as a result of the rate of imposed dimensional changes either exceeding its design limitations or hitting another Two Dimensional object as you changed your Two Dimensional shape you could experience a bit of pain along with the headache.

4
0
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

He is in fact almost right.....

In as much as Terry Pratchett was almost right as well.

We do in fact live on a 'Disc World' which is circular with two flat sides and a zero length edge. It spins through space about its centre but follows a Two Dimensional trajectory as do all the other observable apparently spherical things floating about out there which are also circular with two flat sides and zero length edge.

In fact we live on a Two Dimensional World in a Two Dimensional Universe.

What we perceive as being three dimensional is in fact the result of space, time, dimensional and gravitational distortion that results from the nature of the matter our Two Dimensional existence is made from.

The Three Dimensions are in fact an 'illusion' which only exist because it appears to be the best explanation we can come up with which fits in with what we think we 'see' and 'experience'.

However what we 'see' and 'experience', and indeed can measure and interpret, is distorted by the nature of the thing we exist in interfering with that measurement and ultimately our interpretation of it as limited by our ability to perceive the possibility of a different conceptual reality.

We have become 'intellectually' comfortable with our apparent Three Dimensional existence even though it is Two Dimensional and yet we posit the possibility of Zero, Single, Two and Multidimensional existences.

However who is to say we are not living in a Zero, Two, Three or Multidimensional existence but limited by our 'experience' as imposed by its action upon us and our 'intellect' to perceive or understand and conclude that it 'must' be Three Dimensional?

4
5

West Virginia mulls mother of all muni networks – effectively a state-wide, state-run ISP

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Just got back from The Windy City...

Thank you for the enlightenment. So, and correct me if I am wrong...

You Have..

1) One East Coast which can more or less be restricted to the North East where all the Financial Luvvies live, excluding West Virginia.

2) One West Coast which is more or less California where all the Techy Luvvies live.

and the rest of the country is comprised of 3,000 miles of 'fly-over' states that do bugger fuck all and should be ignored?

Kool.

1
1
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Just got back from The Windy City...

"The Windy City is mighty Pretty. But They ain't got what we got"

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=West+Virginia

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=East+Virginia

... "But they ain't got what We Got. I'm telling you Boys. I ain't swapping Half of DeadWood for The Whole of Illinois..."

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Illinois

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=The+windy+city

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=How+do+you+like+your+eggs+in+the+morning

Can someone tell me where the fuck 'The Rest Of The World' is because either geographically or demographically America seems to be fucking with my head...

Oh, silly me. The 'English' analogy would be 'Outside of, Parliament, the Stock Market and London' everything else is just... not there.

Go! West Virginia!

3
0

Squeeze the banana to log into this office Wi-Fi

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

I suppose using a push button would....

My Keyboard is Full of Eels..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6D1YI-41ao

http://www.royaldanishfish.com/the-worlds-most-responsible-eel-farm-is-located-in-denmark.aspx

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_eel

"Please tickle the Eel for your Wifi Pass."

5
0

Bigger than Safe Harbor: Microsoft prez vows to take down US gov in data protection lawsuit

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Just to be Puerile...

Just to be Puerile... Windows 10. Cough.

4
6

Spoilsport scientists unstick Spider-Man

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Spidey is Descended From Nuclear Genetics.

Not so clever now are you Boffins?

Anyway... we knew all that size, mass, surface area stuff ages ago. Fooking Biologists.

5
1

Att: Windows Phone owners: Win 10 Mobile has been spotted and it wants your phone

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Oh Gawd...

Next it will be nagging people to upgrade and then forcing itself on them using all the tricks imposed on desktop users.

8
2

Optimus Prime goes under the hammer

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Are they fitted with crossply tires

... and bouncy bouncy suspension?

0
0

TalkTalk outage: Dial M for Major cockup

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

It's IPBill

After OFF Hook and delivery of initial connection details to GCHQ the GOTO 4, Dial Tone, failed because DERF hacked TalkTalk and substituted some code at 4 that backdoors all your kit whilst filtering out your heavy swearing. Either that or TalkTalk have been sued for copyright by The MRSA, or whatever it is, for a hookey copy of the Dial Tone.... or they are just shit.

0
2

Brit 'naut Peake gears up for spacewalk

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Spare Parts...

The job should be straightforward, since the duff unit is held in place by just one bolt. Once it's swapped, the two Tims will "lay cables in advance of new docking ports and reinstall a valve that was removed for the relocation of the Leonardo module last year".

Presumably the new unit will be held in place with zero bolts and someone has just worked out what the left over valve was meant for whilst the spare bolt resulting from this EVA will be consigned to the 'bag of leftover bits' for the next game of 'Where the fuck did that come from?'.

.. maybe the 'duff unit' would not be 'duff' if they would have fixed it in place with the required two bolts rather than just one. I suppose the other one is in the 'bag of spare bits'.

0
2

Going on a date, and it's just the two of you? How ... quaint. OkCupid's setting up threesomes

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: What a Fuck Awful Mess you Wankers Have Made

Reality Transplant

What's that. Something whereby all the blither your sort have procreated over the last 40 years makes sense. Where do I get one?

Oh silly me. It does not fucking exist. Are you saying it exists...? It fucking doesn't.

0
7

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

British bureaucrats are world's most social-media-tastic

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Erdoğan?

It beats the Twitter account of the prime minister of Turkey into fourth place. Take that, Turks!

Last I checked he spends all of his time banning 'social media'.

0
0

ISPs: UK.gov should pay full costs of Snooper's Charter hardware

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Microservices are not the same thing as components

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Stay with me please.

At this point I dropped straight to the comments. Perhaps someone else would care to summarise because I got a bad feeling that the article was descending into Microrrhea2.0. Was there a Microrrhea1.0?

7
0

HSBC online customers still in the cold after hours-long lockout

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: There's an app for that...

Cough... Perhaps your non-borked banking is different from everyone else's because someone else, other than HSBC, is keeping a watchful eye over your account?

4
0

Debian Linux founder Ian Murdock dead at 42

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: I've Installed Debian...

Great. I expected 'misinterpretation' and down votes. I suppose it comes with not being able to express myself properly but I did not wish to press a possible point. Debian is, or tries to be, clean and as per.. it warns you of your responsibilities. There is a principle there and holding to it may get you in trouble or render you as being nothing.

0
4
Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

I've Installed Debian...

OK. I went through the instructions and ended up with a working computer. Given this my first recollection of my first successful install, second attempt, was when I asked to become root and was warned that being root comes with responsibilities... nothing.

0
22

It's amazing the UK Parliament agreed to track 22bn Brits' car trips. Oh right – it didn't

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

I was on my way to Ambleve...

But the signs seemed to be pointing in the wrong direction so I asked some nice IS chaps in Police Uniforms with pukka Turbans if anything was wrong? Having been reassured I was going in the right direction I continued my journey only to end up in the middle of a forest surrounded by Traffic Wardens in trucks loaded with machine guns. Apparently 'Did I Pay Road Tax For This?' was not the right question to ask at that particular time. Having been rendered dead I cannot really give any more advice but hopefully someone else might be more successful and share.

0
0

Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Assuming

The Lycra was not for posing and he was on his way out of The City, Plod could not find him, then he probably lost the woody due to the numb middle bit of his nuts 10 miles down the road prior to arriving at the intended field of sheep who called Plod on their Bahbiles to complain about not getting a good Rodgering because Farmer Giles had not fitted their back legs with clip-ons and, after he had struggled with them, the bottle holders were not a good substitute for a pair of wellies and he could not get it up anyway.

0
4

Chat messages in Skype for Windows are bang out of order – so here's how to 'fix' it for now

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Shirley...

They are making it compatible with modern usenet/e-mail practices. ISTR there used to be a raging argument about Top or Bottom Posting that the 'lazy arse' fraternity won by not scrolling down to the bottom of a message 'cause they did not know how to or when they attempted to they forgot what they were going to say when they got there then it all fell over when usenet/e-mail was renamed Google Groups/Google Mail and China Drop Shop took over. Looks like Microsoft are adopting the new paradigm for Skype.

1
1

Feeling abandoned by Adobe? Check out the video editing suites for penguins

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Re: Totally Fuck Off.

Hey Teiwaz

Looks like we have a competition here.

Looking forward to your Linux Video Contribution as well.

I am sure you can knock one up in the next half hour.. easy peasy,

0
19

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Death Stars are a waste of time – here's the best way to take over the galaxy

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

Obligatory XKCD

https://xkcd.com/865/

21
0

Windows 10: What's coming in 2016?

Camilla Smythe
Bronze badge

It's 'simpler' in Linux.

Cue the downvotes but, as a numpty, doing anything 'meaningful' under Windows(XP) was just 'tooo hard'. Now, still as a numpty, doing meaningful things under Linux involves much, probably less, of the same but I have a different attitude towards it. I expect things to blow up, not make sense or otherwise misbehave. It's still not my 'fault', in my World honest, but I am more likely to beat my head against Linux than have Windows repeatedly offer to change my diapers so they can examine the contents of the old ones whilst providing new leaky ones with the latest tinkerbell pictures.

17
3

Page:

Forums