470 posts • joined 3 Apr 2009
Re: Stuff a couple o' these in there
Apparently beer works whereas coffee does not.
Please do let me know how it goes with more coffee.
If it still does not make sense after more coffee then I assume we can conclude that more coffee is not the solution to the sense you were seeking in the first place.
Or perhaps my logic is flawed.
IIRC El Reg published an article about someone discussing -40F as being -40C and having to check themselves.
Have Energizer got a
dirtydata shitsheet that details performance down at that temperature and 10 degrees below?
IIRC Arrhenius, may not apply, says 10 degrees halves performance.
Or.... Will Energizer get involved and help out with a solution, and perhaps a bit of cash, cough cough?
Hmm, no mention of the Rabbit Dildo.
Errr... Elsewhere it would seem you have a battery pack on the main launch platform to keep the rocket motor toasty. Floating a misshaped turd and going bang for buck/weight is there not some chymical method of keeping the internals warm?
Mumble. I believe it is some sort of two part goo that gets hot when you mix it. Not sure about how long it lasts.
Don't forget 'conformal coating'.
Blah Blah Blah.
Re: Not my GMail password
Silly as it may seem, and I am not known to be particularly intelligent, I would assume that Google does not 'know' the passwords... salted cashews and such stuff. If they did download the file then in order to check for compromised accounts they would have to use the information to see if they could log in to the accounts and that might put them on the wrong side of the law. Of course assuming these are accounts that Google regularly sniffs the data from to spaff adverts at people then things possibly become even sillier. Anyway, as suggested, they might find themselves charged with doing something nefarious. Errr, pass the paracetamol.
Re: Will any of us still be alive in the year 2313?
Bit of a typo. The author obviously meant 2112.
"What can this strange device be?
When I touch it I get adverts for stuff I bought yesterday...."
Anyone for Phorm?
Like 'Sure, Right.'
The Chinese are going to let Phorm install DPI kit with Phorm Written and Maintained Software in their networks in order to intercept communications.
Damn these genetically modified orange, purple and pink striped flying elephants. I will have to get my XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL large butterfly net out again.
Presumably the new site will be implemented with HTTPS and include Google Analytics along with a plethora of other trackers including but not exclusive FaceAche, Twatter and Gibber + buttons.. Plus people will get the opportunity to pay via
EBAY PayPal and comment on the service via Disqus. Thus gifting all data about Fire Arm owners in the UK to the US Whilst improving your Fire Arm Browsing experience. Complaints will be ignored until you moan on Twatter and then any issues raised will be ignored. The associated site will not be targeted for SQL injection or other attacks by 'subversives' in search of easily liftable weaponry and munitions and when 'the database' gets powned the ICO will descend on them like flies on shit because it means they can look good by fining The Taxpayer.. again..
"The LA said that actually, as it was now part of the park and had no planning, it was only worth £50k. That £1.4m was the value of the chitty that enabled housing to be built on that sliver of land."
1) Take off and nuke London from Orbit.
2) Everyone left over apart from those involved in the 'collateral carnage' watches Emmerdale Instead.
3) Re-instate Chitty[s].
Tell me I'm wrong
You are wrong.
I recently switched off my 'defences' in order to 'experiment' elsewhere and was 'targeted', presumably for advertising.
Within an instant all my searches turned to someone else's incorrect guesses as to what I might be looking for.
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING BLITHERING ON ABOUT!!!1!!!
Normal service was resumed having switched my defences back on with a clean browser restart.
"The *documents* submitted by the company to the US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) describe a device which uses a flexible screen capable of being bent around the corners of the casing."
I mean.. there might be some 'sensible' Americans about on Reg but Apple and the American Patent System goes beyond the pale.
Patents are not a pre-emptive guess or 'what if wet' dream based on what you think others might be working on and possibly vaguely realising or stuff that is already known. It should be 'provable and likely to be deliverable tech' by yourselves.
United States Patent Application 20140078240290
"We envisage a nuclear fusion machine for an initial trip to Alpha Centauri based on guesses about what everyone else is doing extrapolated to their possible success in order to sue them in a USofA court some time in the future because we did fuck all but they stole our dreams off of us.
Our invention will now be described with reference to Figure 1)
Figure 1) demonstrates a nuclear fusion machine with curved corners, in this case provisioned as a propulsion device for an initial trip to Alpha Centauri. a), haptics b), oled displays and c).1-4), leds are curved around the corners. We will work out how to do that shit once someone else implements it.
Figure 2) demonstrates some other made up bollocks we dreamed up and will rely on someone else implementing it first because it seems possible they might do so and then we can rape them in a US court.
Figure 3) demonstrates some other made up bollocks we dreamed up and will rely on someone else implementing it first because it seems possible they might do so and then we can rape them in a US court.
Figure 4) demonstrates some other made up bollocks we dreamed up and will rely on someone else implementing it first because it seems possible they might do so and then we can rape them in a US court.
Figure n) demonstrates some other made up bollocks we dreamed up and will rely on someone else implementing it first because it seems possible they might do so and then we can rape them in a US court.
As will be apparent to 'those skilled in the art' your arse is now ours in respect of Nuclear Fusion Machines for an initial trip to Alpha Centauri and Kettles including other Nuclear Fusion stuff plus all other tech or normal daily stuff already in existence or you may be thinking about improving and anything else.
All Prior Art, and everything else prior and in the future, is ours.. Sucks to be you"
Meanwhile 'American Chopper' is having a Barney over how to bend Ghost Riders latest set of 'down pipes'..
"No Seriously Man. You have to let me weld them from square steel sections with square corners."
"No Shit! Why have I got these pipe benders!?
"Sir, you really need to trust me on this one."
"Get out of here. You Are Fired."
"Hello.. Is my Motorcycle finished?"
"Just fitting the last piece Mr Ghost Rider."
"Hello.. You have been served."
"What The Fuck! is this Mr Suit?"
"I would advise you take legal advice in respect of my client's previous claim of all things curved. This Motorcycle is now Impounded."
"It's my Motorcycle!"
"Perhaps you should take legal advice as well Sir."
"It's my Motorcycle. Bought and paid for. Look into my eyes."
"Oh My God! You just Killed Ghost Rider!!1!!"
"Handily for us and *Virgin Galactic*, Spaceport America in New Mexico has the permissions for rocket operations, so we're packing up the Vulture 2 and heading west."
Might not the bearded one punt a few coppers in your direction or free flights and transport of equipment?
I'm surprised the Cuerpo Nacional de Policía did not wander up and say '"'ello, 'ello, 'ello" and drag your Begging Boffin off to the cells for vagrancy and a quiet rubber truncheoning.
Re: Looking good
Assuming Mr Haines has been used as the template to 're-circle the circle' you should be good to go, I humbly apologise.
In respect of an implied, my interpretation, suggestion elsewhere regarding pregnant ladies although that might have been my own illusion, presumably the logo will be subject to relocation and re-cicularisation in order to cover the nascent ballocketnauts bump.
Of course given women come with two jubs, and I realise blokes have two as well but err... There is the opportunity to include both EU and USA logos in the appropriate positions with the required re-circulisation, and three to accommodate pregnant ladies.
Of course given the introduction of ladies to the equation of Lohan Haute Couture a restriction to Small, Medium, Fat Bastard and Extra Fat Bastard might introduce unsolvable mathematical equations to the impossible solution.
Extra Research via online lingerie catalogues might be required.
I am surprised I have, as yet, made no spellling mistakes. Oh silly me, spurl checker not switched on. I shall now write a stiff letter to the OED to get them to sort their act out.
Buggered By Boris
I might have thought it was his problem to sort this out with more bikes. Is this why he is attempting to abdicate to Parliament?
Still I suppose having zombie cab drivers in London is not much of a problem given they will only be transporting London Zombies.
I now see the reasoning behind 'Perimter M25'.
Welcome to the Matmos
Jane will come for you in full 3D sound via the orgasmotron. People with artex ceilings need not apply.
For sale via e-bay. Nascent Alien. Life insurance not included. No returns. Starting bid 99p, no reserve. Free local collection. Carefully packaged in dog.
Server not found 512K error.
A mistake had been made at a subsidiary of MiniPlenty
MiniPower had elected to install the wrong sort of metering devices and could no longer 'load balance' matters. This of course in 'real terms' as applied to others would not matter. The concern, if there would have been one in one respect, is that people might notice having their usage of power rescheduled at such a large scale. People 'expected' their, luke warm, Victory Coffee at certain times during the day, give or take. Of course the later arrival of left shoes in respect of ordering the right assuming either arrived in the first place was not of much concern. This time shoe delivery would be suspended for all. Even the TeleScreens stopped working. More importantly The Ministries, without power, ceased to function.
Winston turned to see a man he did not recognise. Short, large head with a Vapid Smile dressed in a manner that suggested someone from a higher party echelon.
"We have a special job for you."
"Nothing seems to be working at the moment Sir."
"Yes, we know but you are highly recommended so we can work around that and get you up and running on this station."
The Vapid Smile handed over a large envelope.
"We need it in about an hour Winston. People need to know the truth here. I know we can trust you."
He paused and placed a box on Winstons desk then left.
Winston opened the envelope. A history of someone called Adam Afriyie. Someone who needed to become an unperson.
Winston looked at the box. It was wrapped in cellophane, black and proudly announced JSP 10 in Gold lettering.
Winston set to work under the failing emergency lighting. Within the prescibed hour he was finished and then the lights failed. He fell asleep and was woken again three hours later.
Startled but looking left and right all the other stations were in darkness. He spoke into the microphone to deliver his report of 'the truth'. Adam Afriyie, and others, became unpersons.
He looked at the JSP box.
"Are they real Sir?"
"Yes, but you do not really want one... not after... Look, I've got a torch with some batteries in it. Let's get you out of the building so you can walk yourself home. Apparently there is smoglight outside.
mumble mumble mumble does it take to hack a light bulb?
Re: In words..
You are too kind. The previous cunning plan involving my nostrils was rejected as well. I shall now remove the pencils from my ears and discard this one as well.
This will probably be too complicated for you to bother trying to implement it...
Mount the canards on two rods that extend almost across the width of the fuselage. Arrange the rods so that one slides inside the other forming its bearing surface. Support the external rod internal to and either side of the fuselage with two mounting posts forming its bearing surface. Leave space either end to thread and glue on some large diameter cogs, teeth on face rather than circumferance. Drive the cogs with motors fitted with worm gears. Loads of support, loads of torque and unlikely to slip about the place.
As Herbert Knobwink Said
Subsequently Richard commented that David was digging his hole... with a teaspoon.
David is still alive, and still would make it on the X-Factor. Richard.. not so much in the being alive type scenario... probably would do well on the X-Factor as well.
When asked to comment Vincent said he and Micheal were also dead and are quite happy not to be part of the present situation.
I insist that Zuckerberg forks one off and protects us myriads of facebook users and our content from Evil Google.
Won't someone think of my kitten pictures and the advertising revenue?
Nice CV.. No Comment.. DYOR.
Play to that stadium?
At least Symantec are not McAfee plus they gave us [s]GreenNet[/s] StalkStalk. What's not to like unless you are not thinking of the children?.. Are you not thinking of the children?
Anyway. YTF is Mellor putting SpamVertising on the pages of El Reg. Can someone sensible like Orlowsky take him outside and Cattle Prod him?
Just a Moment
Isn't the article at,
in effect actually saying that G-Mail is 'Dark Social'?
"Up to 80 per cent of all “sharing” of publisher and brand content is being distributed through email and text messaging to smaller, “off-the-grid” user networks, according to figures from measurement companies such as Chartbeat and online customer prospecting network, RadiumOne."
Pull the other one. G-Mail might be 'off the grid' to 'them' but it is hardly 'small'. Wet finger says at least 80% of the data they want to get their greasy palms on goes via G-mail.
No Fair. Want Google to Share with us. Toys out of pram.
Now... where's that middle finger icon?
Re: Data Protection Act and Information Commissioner
"It seems to me that this is a data breach and eBay has a registered office in South West London. Can the ICO take action if we make a complaint?"
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA
<font size=plus infinity>BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA</font>
You owe me some new sides to replace the ones I have just split.
.. sorry. You may have missed the Troll Icon. Have beer instead.
So.. Basically You Are Saying
I can pick some discarded, not Apple shitware, hardware out of a skip and slap Linux, any flavour as long as 'beer is free', on it and completely fail to use the result to bootcamp some for shit powerpoint presentations on it but still end up with a computah that does the job. The alternative fascination would be??
No 'Link', per se, given for Reset..
The e-mail I received was...
"Dear Mumsnet user,
Following the recent security breach related to Heartbleed
we have removed the passwords of all users on www.mumsnet.com
To use the site you'll need to reset your password. You'll find
instructions and a link on the login page on how to do this.
Most importantly, if you use the same password on Mumsnet as elsewhere,
we strongly recommend you change your password on the other sites too.
Justine & the MNHQ team"
So the link is on the login page on the website and not in the e-mail. The above link to the homepage was not obfuscated. Less confusing/dodgy. I suppose they could/should have left even that one out or 'broke' it. Given your wife is not a member of Mumsnet it might be worth checking the e-mail again to make sure it really was not a phishing e-mail.
For myself I didn't twig that they had been 'hacked' and just thought they had discovered they were using a vulnerable version of OpenSSL and decided that it would be better to be safe than sorry and scrub everyone's passwords. It might have been better if they gave more details in the e-mail. I had to wait for the story here to discover what had apparently happened.
BTW I joined out of interest and it was a throw away account so I won't bother refreshing it... although it might be interesting to see what sort of method they do have in place. It would also be interesting to see how much has in fact been 'reset'. Would it have been wise to clean out all account details and throw away the e-mail addresses as well?
If anyone was active on the site they would try and log in and be presented with a 'whoopsie page' explaining what had happened and asked to recreate their accounts from scratch. Sure.. sounds like a bit of a pain but.....
"But a Microsoft in partnership with News, providing a nicely-curated content distribution system that lines both companies' pockets, perhaps using metadata about users' online behaviour to target content and advertising, sounds interesting."
Ptreklam and Gezinti are Phorm in Turkey. Not that Mr Murdoch has form when it comes to interception of communications.. cough.
They had to put 'the pods' in place before moving forward.
Go Lester! Go Lester! Go Lester!
I am have fitted new brake bollocks to the bike so I'll test them out after viewing your success.. assuming I crawl out of bed in time.
Re: Misplaced Lack of Interest..
It was a serious question.
Obviously it will be my fault but I just scrubbed someone, a home user, off XP and moved them over to Debian.
Bearing in mind I am 'not all that', or anything approaching it..
Let's see how that one goes.
Misplaced Lack of Interest..
On the @Home front perhaps El Reg Journalists might ask owners of Linux Flavoured Based Suppositories for statistics on increased activity. Just a thought.
When asked to comment about the lack of updates El-Reg blamed someone else whilst suggesting the prominent washing machine was subject to a claim for infringement of a 'swipe to unlock' patent filed by Apple. Apple were not available for comment. The on site resident technicians still have stained underwear and Linus Haines is not very happy about the budget for this exercise being spunked on choccy bars and a bottle of fizzy orange by a bunch of fat blokes standing around scratching their bollocks through their trouser pockets. Tune in next week to discover how to do IT.
Good to see Fujitsu getting back in on the UK 'superfast' Interweb thing by employing some Globally Chaps.
Looking forward to having my cows hooked up to fridges in the IOT.
I'll be, or might be, wrong here, Perhaps some Regicide.. I mean RegiReporter can help out, but last time I looked at the 'debate', or lack thereof, it seemed that the ISP's, as middle men, wanted a system in place whereby they would simply be in control of what was delivered to the 'consumer' at 'a cost' for the 'package' to the 'consumer' without any question of the 'provider' on the other side being involved. There's a bit of history I haven't looked at but If I 'have it down' that the ISP's were 'the content providers' and would just love to be in a position to keep others 'off their patch'. Fenced/Ringed gardens etc. Apparently 'Marco Civil' and the concept of 'net neutrality' got repeatedly stuffed up because the ISP's greased up some politicians, go figure. Let me help you here.. 'You, as the peon scum, will like this because it will transfer much more your cash to me and my mates pockets. I mean why should you have to pay more to access Twitter just because some scum is downloading kilowatts of electricity. Let us package it for you. Three tweets a month. Two e-mails, scanned for content to improve your browsing experience, and a free 1 week trial of Norton Anti-Virus.. all for the low inclusive Banda Larga 1 Mega Price, 100bpdy really, 1Kibi cap, of 30 $R/Month. If you want to Tweet more you cannot but you get unlimited Tweets on our version of Tweets for half the price and the same shite connection. Upgrade from wet string to discharged batteries laid end to end, batteries not included but we will rent the ones you supply back to you for a $R11,000 a month maintenance and let them rust . Fooking Bargain. Assine Ja!. Clique Aqui... 'Click'.. Do you want Phorm with that? </burble>
Bugger. I connect via SKY
If you look at the position of the Phone then in effect it only has sight of one face. Presumably as a result it has to take a few trial spins to locate/relocate and store the position of the separate bricks before it can steam on. In fact you can see it do this. The display begins by showing just the top face and then after a few moves, whole rotations to map the cube, converts to a three-d representation. In fact once it has that data in place it probably isn't looking any more. Is that in the rules and representative of what a human is restricted to? Perhaps academic however the solution would be quicker if.. blah.. blah.. etc.
Given Bra_Strap is 'Authority Imposed Mission_Critical' might one enquire as to why The Energizer Jubs powering it are glued in place with soldered connections?
I thought El Reg forums were inhabited with intelligent commentards. Based on above comments along the lines [smug]'Meh. I don't use Facebook'[/smug] I really have to wonder if there is any electrical activity localised in the associated grey matter.
Hint: If 'your mate' uses Facebook and he 'knows your number', other contact details, Facebook, et al, will know it as well. Are we feeling Smug now?
Might one enquire if you actually believed in the company concerned or did you just do an assist to help them pull wool and make out like a bandit?
Perhaps you can cast your Eye of Experience over..
and offer a bit of critique.
It might be my old eyes but it does not look like the ejecta is as 'radial' as it should be?
Presumably Mr Cook
Will have something to say about Internet Censorship and Surveillance in Turkey.
DNS lookups for ebay.co.uk kept on failing for me. Firefox 'could not find' etc.
; <<>> DiG 9.8.4-rpz2+rl005.12-P1 <<>> ebay.co.uk
;; global options: +cmd
;; Got answer:
;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: SERVFAIL, id: 10658
;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 0, AUTHORITY: 0, ADDITIONAL: 0
;; QUESTION SECTION:
;ebay.co.uk. IN A
;; Query time: 29 msec
However on one occasion I ended up with a decidedly non-ebay looking 'page not found' error page...
If you feel you have reached this page in error, please contact the web site owner:
It may be possible to restore access to this site by following these instructions for clearing your dns cache.
If you are the web site owner, it is possible you have reached this page because:
The IP address has changed.
There has been a server misconfiguration.
The site may have been moved to a different server.
If you are the owner of this website and were not expecting to see this page, please contact your hosting provider."
At that time the DNS reported..
; <<>> DiG 9.8.4-rpz2+rl005.12-P1 <<>> ebay.co.uk
;; global options: +cmd
;; Got answer:
;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: NOERROR, id: 56542
;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 1, AUTHORITY: 2, ADDITIONAL: 0
;; QUESTION SECTION:
;ebay.co.uk. IN A
;; ANSWER SECTION:
ebay.co.uk. 106 IN A 126.96.36.199
;; AUTHORITY SECTION:
ebay.co.uk. 72106 IN NS ns1.dnforu.com.
ebay.co.uk. 72106 IN NS ns2.dnforu.com.
;; Query time: 30 msec
This was via SKY DNS. I reported this to ebay via online chat. The 'problem' did eventually resolve itself but it all seemed 'very suspicious'.
Y!a!h!o!o!l!i!g!a!n!s! c!o!w!e!r! a!s! C!O!O! w!a!s! r!e!p!o!r!t!e!d!ly! S!A!C!K!E!D! b!y! M!a!y!e!r!
Now you have to ask yourself. Did I use up all my exclamation marks or... Do you feel lucky Punk?
I fail to see how this is patentable.
Hump Hump Hump.
Tap. Fumble Swipe.
Hump Hump Hump Hump Hump.
Ahw Shit. Why can't Apple sort this shit out!!!!
Yes baby! Yes Baby! Oh, you've gone all limp. Did you cum prematurely, or not at all, whilst failing to deliver my Orgasm?
I guess my general consensus is you should not be able to patent something 'obvious' to your 'captive audience'.
Re: Its getting a bit silly now
No shit. Apple must be a bit pissed they did not 'patent' "Thing Sort of The Shape of an iPhone That Fits Around an iPhone"... What a bunch of losers.
The Deity Consortium Called to Say...
Sorry we fucked yours, and a fair few others, up. However we are glad to say we think we have almost got it right with the latest batch. Naturally you can try to look but we have hidden them from your view. Things are looking good so don't expect the second cumming in your neck of the woods any time soon.
Sent from My iProto-Planet.
Become Human Ambassadors on Mars...
Does this mean there are Mars people with whom we need to be ambassadorial?
Re: Overwhelmed by complaints
"but surely the solution is to provide the ICO with more resources"..
I have no source but perhaps you can find it....
Representatives of the ICO gave the equivalent of a statement via Parliament that they were underfunded and therefore could not 'do their job' and, in effect, stated that this 'doing their job thing', according to 'The European Bendy Banana Thing', was not going to happen because Parliament was not going to give them the money to do their job, wink wink, so ETC.
Then they *all* exited 'stage left' to work for FaceGoogTwitThirdPartyAffiliates and lived happily ever afterwards.
"I agree that this bears the stench of lobbying."
By the ICO themselves?
- Breaking Fad 4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
- Was Earth once covered in HELLFIRE? No – more like a wet Sunday night in Iceland
- First Irish boy band U2. Now Apple pushes ANOTHER thing into iPhones, iPods, iPads
- Hate Facebook? Hate it enough to spend $9k fleeing it? Web 'country club' built for the rich
- Hey, Scots. Microsoft's Bing thinks you'll vote NO to independence