458 posts • joined 3 Apr 2009
Re: Looking good
Assuming Mr Haines has been used as the template to 're-circle the circle' you should be good to go, I humbly apologise.
In respect of an implied, my interpretation, suggestion elsewhere regarding pregnant ladies although that might have been my own illusion, presumably the logo will be subject to relocation and re-cicularisation in order to cover the nascent ballocketnauts bump.
Of course given women come with two jubs, and I realise blokes have two as well but err... There is the opportunity to include both EU and USA logos in the appropriate positions with the required re-circulisation, and three to accommodate pregnant ladies.
Of course given the introduction of ladies to the equation of Lohan Haute Couture a restriction to Small, Medium, Fat Bastard and Extra Fat Bastard might introduce unsolvable mathematical equations to the impossible solution.
Extra Research via online lingerie catalogues might be required.
I am surprised I have, as yet, made no spellling mistakes. Oh silly me, spurl checker not switched on. I shall now write a stiff letter to the OED to get them to sort their act out.
Buggered By Boris
I might have thought it was his problem to sort this out with more bikes. Is this why he is attempting to abdicate to Parliament?
Still I suppose having zombie cab drivers in London is not much of a problem given they will only be transporting London Zombies.
I now see the reasoning behind 'Perimter M25'.
Welcome to the Matmos
Jane will come for you in full 3D sound via the orgasmotron. People with artex ceilings need not apply.
For sale via e-bay. Nascent Alien. Life insurance not included. No returns. Starting bid 99p, no reserve. Free local collection. Carefully packaged in dog.
Server not found 512K error.
A mistake had been made at a subsidiary of MiniPlenty
MiniPower had elected to install the wrong sort of metering devices and could no longer 'load balance' matters. This of course in 'real terms' as applied to others would not matter. The concern, if there would have been one in one respect, is that people might notice having their usage of power rescheduled at such a large scale. People 'expected' their, luke warm, Victory Coffee at certain times during the day, give or take. Of course the later arrival of left shoes in respect of ordering the right assuming either arrived in the first place was not of much concern. This time shoe delivery would be suspended for all. Even the TeleScreens stopped working. More importantly The Ministries, without power, ceased to function.
Winston turned to see a man he did not recognise. Short, large head with a Vapid Smile dressed in a manner that suggested someone from a higher party echelon.
"We have a special job for you."
"Nothing seems to be working at the moment Sir."
"Yes, we know but you are highly recommended so we can work around that and get you up and running on this station."
The Vapid Smile handed over a large envelope.
"We need it in about an hour Winston. People need to know the truth here. I know we can trust you."
He paused and placed a box on Winstons desk then left.
Winston opened the envelope. A history of someone called Adam Afriyie. Someone who needed to become an unperson.
Winston looked at the box. It was wrapped in cellophane, black and proudly announced JSP 10 in Gold lettering.
Winston set to work under the failing emergency lighting. Within the prescibed hour he was finished and then the lights failed. He fell asleep and was woken again three hours later.
Startled but looking left and right all the other stations were in darkness. He spoke into the microphone to deliver his report of 'the truth'. Adam Afriyie, and others, became unpersons.
He looked at the JSP box.
"Are they real Sir?"
"Yes, but you do not really want one... not after... Look, I've got a torch with some batteries in it. Let's get you out of the building so you can walk yourself home. Apparently there is smoglight outside.
mumble mumble mumble does it take to hack a light bulb?
Re: In words..
You are too kind. The previous cunning plan involving my nostrils was rejected as well. I shall now remove the pencils from my ears and discard this one as well.
This will probably be too complicated for you to bother trying to implement it...
Mount the canards on two rods that extend almost across the width of the fuselage. Arrange the rods so that one slides inside the other forming its bearing surface. Support the external rod internal to and either side of the fuselage with two mounting posts forming its bearing surface. Leave space either end to thread and glue on some large diameter cogs, teeth on face rather than circumferance. Drive the cogs with motors fitted with worm gears. Loads of support, loads of torque and unlikely to slip about the place.
As Herbert Knobwink Said
Subsequently Richard commented that David was digging his hole... with a teaspoon.
David is still alive, and still would make it on the X-Factor. Richard.. not so much in the being alive type scenario... probably would do well on the X-Factor as well.
When asked to comment Vincent said he and Micheal were also dead and are quite happy not to be part of the present situation.
I insist that Zuckerberg forks one off and protects us myriads of facebook users and our content from Evil Google.
Won't someone think of my kitten pictures and the advertising revenue?
Nice CV.. No Comment.. DYOR.
Play to that stadium?
At least Symantec are not McAfee plus they gave us [s]GreenNet[/s] StalkStalk. What's not to like unless you are not thinking of the children?.. Are you not thinking of the children?
Anyway. YTF is Mellor putting SpamVertising on the pages of El Reg. Can someone sensible like Orlowsky take him outside and Cattle Prod him?
Just a Moment
Isn't the article at,
in effect actually saying that G-Mail is 'Dark Social'?
"Up to 80 per cent of all “sharing” of publisher and brand content is being distributed through email and text messaging to smaller, “off-the-grid” user networks, according to figures from measurement companies such as Chartbeat and online customer prospecting network, RadiumOne."
Pull the other one. G-Mail might be 'off the grid' to 'them' but it is hardly 'small'. Wet finger says at least 80% of the data they want to get their greasy palms on goes via G-mail.
No Fair. Want Google to Share with us. Toys out of pram.
Now... where's that middle finger icon?
Re: Data Protection Act and Information Commissioner
"It seems to me that this is a data breach and eBay has a registered office in South West London. Can the ICO take action if we make a complaint?"
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA
<font size=plus infinity>BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA</font>
You owe me some new sides to replace the ones I have just split.
.. sorry. You may have missed the Troll Icon. Have beer instead.
So.. Basically You Are Saying
I can pick some discarded, not Apple shitware, hardware out of a skip and slap Linux, any flavour as long as 'beer is free', on it and completely fail to use the result to bootcamp some for shit powerpoint presentations on it but still end up with a computah that does the job. The alternative fascination would be??
No 'Link', per se, given for Reset..
The e-mail I received was...
"Dear Mumsnet user,
Following the recent security breach related to Heartbleed
we have removed the passwords of all users on www.mumsnet.com
To use the site you'll need to reset your password. You'll find
instructions and a link on the login page on how to do this.
Most importantly, if you use the same password on Mumsnet as elsewhere,
we strongly recommend you change your password on the other sites too.
Justine & the MNHQ team"
So the link is on the login page on the website and not in the e-mail. The above link to the homepage was not obfuscated. Less confusing/dodgy. I suppose they could/should have left even that one out or 'broke' it. Given your wife is not a member of Mumsnet it might be worth checking the e-mail again to make sure it really was not a phishing e-mail.
For myself I didn't twig that they had been 'hacked' and just thought they had discovered they were using a vulnerable version of OpenSSL and decided that it would be better to be safe than sorry and scrub everyone's passwords. It might have been better if they gave more details in the e-mail. I had to wait for the story here to discover what had apparently happened.
BTW I joined out of interest and it was a throw away account so I won't bother refreshing it... although it might be interesting to see what sort of method they do have in place. It would also be interesting to see how much has in fact been 'reset'. Would it have been wise to clean out all account details and throw away the e-mail addresses as well?
If anyone was active on the site they would try and log in and be presented with a 'whoopsie page' explaining what had happened and asked to recreate their accounts from scratch. Sure.. sounds like a bit of a pain but.....
"But a Microsoft in partnership with News, providing a nicely-curated content distribution system that lines both companies' pockets, perhaps using metadata about users' online behaviour to target content and advertising, sounds interesting."
Ptreklam and Gezinti are Phorm in Turkey. Not that Mr Murdoch has form when it comes to interception of communications.. cough.
They had to put 'the pods' in place before moving forward.
Go Lester! Go Lester! Go Lester!
I am have fitted new brake bollocks to the bike so I'll test them out after viewing your success.. assuming I crawl out of bed in time.
Re: Misplaced Lack of Interest..
It was a serious question.
Obviously it will be my fault but I just scrubbed someone, a home user, off XP and moved them over to Debian.
Bearing in mind I am 'not all that', or anything approaching it..
Let's see how that one goes.
Misplaced Lack of Interest..
On the @Home front perhaps El Reg Journalists might ask owners of Linux Flavoured Based Suppositories for statistics on increased activity. Just a thought.
When asked to comment about the lack of updates El-Reg blamed someone else whilst suggesting the prominent washing machine was subject to a claim for infringement of a 'swipe to unlock' patent filed by Apple. Apple were not available for comment. The on site resident technicians still have stained underwear and Linus Haines is not very happy about the budget for this exercise being spunked on choccy bars and a bottle of fizzy orange by a bunch of fat blokes standing around scratching their bollocks through their trouser pockets. Tune in next week to discover how to do IT.
Good to see Fujitsu getting back in on the UK 'superfast' Interweb thing by employing some Globally Chaps.
Looking forward to having my cows hooked up to fridges in the IOT.
I'll be, or might be, wrong here, Perhaps some Regicide.. I mean RegiReporter can help out, but last time I looked at the 'debate', or lack thereof, it seemed that the ISP's, as middle men, wanted a system in place whereby they would simply be in control of what was delivered to the 'consumer' at 'a cost' for the 'package' to the 'consumer' without any question of the 'provider' on the other side being involved. There's a bit of history I haven't looked at but If I 'have it down' that the ISP's were 'the content providers' and would just love to be in a position to keep others 'off their patch'. Fenced/Ringed gardens etc. Apparently 'Marco Civil' and the concept of 'net neutrality' got repeatedly stuffed up because the ISP's greased up some politicians, go figure. Let me help you here.. 'You, as the peon scum, will like this because it will transfer much more your cash to me and my mates pockets. I mean why should you have to pay more to access Twitter just because some scum is downloading kilowatts of electricity. Let us package it for you. Three tweets a month. Two e-mails, scanned for content to improve your browsing experience, and a free 1 week trial of Norton Anti-Virus.. all for the low inclusive Banda Larga 1 Mega Price, 100bpdy really, 1Kibi cap, of 30 $R/Month. If you want to Tweet more you cannot but you get unlimited Tweets on our version of Tweets for half the price and the same shite connection. Upgrade from wet string to discharged batteries laid end to end, batteries not included but we will rent the ones you supply back to you for a $R11,000 a month maintenance and let them rust . Fooking Bargain. Assine Ja!. Clique Aqui... 'Click'.. Do you want Phorm with that? </burble>
Bugger. I connect via SKY
If you look at the position of the Phone then in effect it only has sight of one face. Presumably as a result it has to take a few trial spins to locate/relocate and store the position of the separate bricks before it can steam on. In fact you can see it do this. The display begins by showing just the top face and then after a few moves, whole rotations to map the cube, converts to a three-d representation. In fact once it has that data in place it probably isn't looking any more. Is that in the rules and representative of what a human is restricted to? Perhaps academic however the solution would be quicker if.. blah.. blah.. etc.
Given Bra_Strap is 'Authority Imposed Mission_Critical' might one enquire as to why The Energizer Jubs powering it are glued in place with soldered connections?
I thought El Reg forums were inhabited with intelligent commentards. Based on above comments along the lines [smug]'Meh. I don't use Facebook'[/smug] I really have to wonder if there is any electrical activity localised in the associated grey matter.
Hint: If 'your mate' uses Facebook and he 'knows your number', other contact details, Facebook, et al, will know it as well. Are we feeling Smug now?
Might one enquire if you actually believed in the company concerned or did you just do an assist to help them pull wool and make out like a bandit?
Perhaps you can cast your Eye of Experience over..
and offer a bit of critique.
It might be my old eyes but it does not look like the ejecta is as 'radial' as it should be?
Presumably Mr Cook
Will have something to say about Internet Censorship and Surveillance in Turkey.
DNS lookups for ebay.co.uk kept on failing for me. Firefox 'could not find' etc.
; <<>> DiG 9.8.4-rpz2+rl005.12-P1 <<>> ebay.co.uk
;; global options: +cmd
;; Got answer:
;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: SERVFAIL, id: 10658
;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 0, AUTHORITY: 0, ADDITIONAL: 0
;; QUESTION SECTION:
;ebay.co.uk. IN A
;; Query time: 29 msec
However on one occasion I ended up with a decidedly non-ebay looking 'page not found' error page...
If you feel you have reached this page in error, please contact the web site owner:
It may be possible to restore access to this site by following these instructions for clearing your dns cache.
If you are the web site owner, it is possible you have reached this page because:
The IP address has changed.
There has been a server misconfiguration.
The site may have been moved to a different server.
If you are the owner of this website and were not expecting to see this page, please contact your hosting provider."
At that time the DNS reported..
; <<>> DiG 9.8.4-rpz2+rl005.12-P1 <<>> ebay.co.uk
;; global options: +cmd
;; Got answer:
;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: NOERROR, id: 56542
;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 1, AUTHORITY: 2, ADDITIONAL: 0
;; QUESTION SECTION:
;ebay.co.uk. IN A
;; ANSWER SECTION:
ebay.co.uk. 106 IN A 184.108.40.206
;; AUTHORITY SECTION:
ebay.co.uk. 72106 IN NS ns1.dnforu.com.
ebay.co.uk. 72106 IN NS ns2.dnforu.com.
;; Query time: 30 msec
This was via SKY DNS. I reported this to ebay via online chat. The 'problem' did eventually resolve itself but it all seemed 'very suspicious'.
Y!a!h!o!o!l!i!g!a!n!s! c!o!w!e!r! a!s! C!O!O! w!a!s! r!e!p!o!r!t!e!d!ly! S!A!C!K!E!D! b!y! M!a!y!e!r!
Now you have to ask yourself. Did I use up all my exclamation marks or... Do you feel lucky Punk?
I fail to see how this is patentable.
Hump Hump Hump.
Tap. Fumble Swipe.
Hump Hump Hump Hump Hump.
Ahw Shit. Why can't Apple sort this shit out!!!!
Yes baby! Yes Baby! Oh, you've gone all limp. Did you cum prematurely, or not at all, whilst failing to deliver my Orgasm?
I guess my general consensus is you should not be able to patent something 'obvious' to your 'captive audience'.
Re: Its getting a bit silly now
No shit. Apple must be a bit pissed they did not 'patent' "Thing Sort of The Shape of an iPhone That Fits Around an iPhone"... What a bunch of losers.
The Deity Consortium Called to Say...
Sorry we fucked yours, and a fair few others, up. However we are glad to say we think we have almost got it right with the latest batch. Naturally you can try to look but we have hidden them from your view. Things are looking good so don't expect the second cumming in your neck of the woods any time soon.
Sent from My iProto-Planet.
Become Human Ambassadors on Mars...
Does this mean there are Mars people with whom we need to be ambassadorial?
Re: Overwhelmed by complaints
"but surely the solution is to provide the ICO with more resources"..
I have no source but perhaps you can find it....
Representatives of the ICO gave the equivalent of a statement via Parliament that they were underfunded and therefore could not 'do their job' and, in effect, stated that this 'doing their job thing', according to 'The European Bendy Banana Thing', was not going to happen because Parliament was not going to give them the money to do their job, wink wink, so ETC.
Then they *all* exited 'stage left' to work for FaceGoogTwitThirdPartyAffiliates and lived happily ever afterwards.
"I agree that this bears the stench of lobbying."
By the ICO themselves?
Switch on SKY Shield... Check.
Set to 13... Check
Force router to use SKY DNS on port 53... Check
Edit hosts file...
GNU nano 2.2.6 File: hosts
127.0.1.1 Debian.Home Debian
# The following lines are desirable for IPv6 capable hosts...
It is highly likely...
That the kit to do this lives in or about 'the radius' where you log in and are given an IP address. Your log in details will be 'hard coded' to you/your router. If you enable the system all of your traffic will be redirected through the Symantec Kit, probably built by Huawei anyway, and DPI will be performed on all of your communications to pick out requested URLs from the traffic and check them. Of course once in place the equipment may be 'refurbished' at any time in order to 'provision' requested information to GCHQ. Symantec do not need to generate a list from SKY customers in the same way that StalkStalk has from theirs because StalkStalk has already done it using the Huawei-Symantec StalkStalk bot MKI
Of course I could be wrong....
What is Shaun Nichols doing with Chris Williams' FaceBook login credentials. Have we not learned from a recent fiasco that this is not a good idea?
What is Chris Williams doing with a FaceBook account? And do not try to claim it is for 'research purposes'.
AQ has got hold of all our stuff.
Implement plan S.
Plan S Sir?
Do please read the manual.
Shuffle Shuffle Shuffle.
It is not a 'Big Bang'
It is a 'Big Suck'.
He switched it on before he killed it. What an amateur..
Good to see...
That the advertising industry is well ahead of the curve in respect of 'Consumer Choice' and education thereof. Why.. only yesterday I visited their 'opt-out' site and all of the 'participants' failed to install cookies on my computer. I must be doing something wrong.
Allow me to put this in Perspective. Applies to all sides.
Re: Only half the equation
"Add up these and many more I haven't mentioned and it must amount to quite a 'footprint' that's gone missing."
Uhm no. People just download more crispy frog ringtones whilst the CRM systems scream in the foreground.
I think you may find that the 'footprint' has got bigger and more intrusive.
Perhaps the NSA
Can ask Mr Ertugrul for some advice as to how to handle the situation..
Rah Rah Rah
I think the ICO should fine them the maximum permissible. A stiff letter with the promise of slapped wristies should do it. That'll show the blighters.
In amongst the ablative gun destroying stuff an ablative gun destroying projectile with the external aerodynamics of something that might be an an ablative gun destroying projectile internal to the gun...
Just a moment!!1!!
"BAE Systems has been handed a $34.5m contract to design a new version of a potentially game-changing weapon of the future."
That's a tenth of what Phorm, including lying bastard Kent, has pissed away to date.... notwithstanding someone else having to scrub the piss off the walls and the opportunity to Boff, old crusty, Girlies up to the top of Everest.
Rah Rah Rah. Jolly HockeySticks.
Gosh... Really helped the niggers out with that one.
Yes!! The locals do do some nice stuff. Food wise.
I'm orf to ride my Horse.
Well done. Tra Lah Lah.
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