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* Posts by SisterClamp

62 posts • joined 2 Apr 2009

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Nokia offers 'voluntary retirement' to 6,000+ Indian employees

SisterClamp
Mushroom

6,000 is a lot from one country...

...but, tbh, I couldn't give a damn. Not after seeing how the industry was decimated, and wages driven down, by Brainless Talking Heads constantly touting the benefits of offshoring all those years ago. So how does it feel, Chennai? (As an aside, IBM India only gave their staff 2 hours notice to vacate the premises.) There's more where that came from. Pass it along while I get my popcorn, pull up a pew and settle in....

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Gnome Foundation runs out of cash

SisterClamp
Linux

Re: Wow! That many people moved to KDE or XFCE?

I don't think I'd even want to spend the time trying to marry Canonical with KDE...assuming you're not talking Kubuntu.

If I were you, I'd give Canonical a boot and move to Arch with KDE. The speed, she is fast.

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Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

SisterClamp
Big Brother

C'mon...

...you only had to peruse the IT news for the past few years to know that Dropbox plays nice with government intelligence. The entry below is from 2011, for chrissakes:

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/igeneration/dropbox-deceived-users-over-security-files-are-open-to-government-searches/9959

Rice joining doesn't do anything for a service I wouldn't trust in the first place.

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France bans managers from contacting workers outside business hours

SisterClamp
Pint

Re: Draconian

Don darling, are you trying to woo me? 'Cos you're off to a pretty good start....

PS El Reg, how about a fluttering eyelashes icon? Isn't it time you upgraded to animated GIFs, as antiquated as they now are?

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SisterClamp
Facepalm

Re: Up the creek without paddle...

Chiko roll? How gauche. You'll be talking about nibbling Nobby's Nuts soon. Violet Crumble, dear.

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Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

SisterClamp
Devil

Re: Being of "middle eastern" appearance

Don't care about the colour but beards. Hmmmmm. I like beards.... purrrrrr........

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Big Content wants Aussies blocked from Netflix

SisterClamp
Alien

Re: buy dvd on holiday ...

Exactly. Aussies don't realise just how bad the "intellectual property right" laws are. Many years ago (VHS tape days), laws were passed that would net you, e.g., a 2-yr jail sentence if the police spotted a TV recording of an Ashes tournament in your video library. As far as I know, that law is still in place. Even Apple(!) told the govt to hold on a sec and not be so gung-ho.

There are already laws in place to put you in an Aussie jail for the most trivial of reasons. They slipped past when most weren't looking, just waiting for the right "Pearl Harbour" event....

PS Can we conspiracy theorists get another icon, instead of just the Alien? How about the All Seeing Eye?

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Facebook: We want a solar sky cruiser comms net that DARPA couldn't build

SisterClamp
Thumb Down

Mega-economy bloc du jour

Africa seems to be the happenin' place at the moment, what with major IT companies eyeing the continent and even suggesting that certain employees might like to relocate there. (Where exactly, I'm not even sure the companies know yet. Africa is bigger than you can even think you can imagine.)

Now Zucks says he's doing it "for the poor"? Yes, of course we believe you, Mark. A lot of idiotic liberal twats are going to fall for it though. "The stupid, like German tourists, are everywhere."

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Icahn and I will: Carl's war on eBay goes NUCLEAR over Skype

SisterClamp
Happy

Re: "a televised debate"

My word for the day! Thanks. :)

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Big Beardie's watching: Gaze into the screen... it shall gaze also into you

SisterClamp
Holmes

Re: But does it suggest based on age, sex, and current purchases?

Only on the weekends, Neil? You disappoint me....

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Microsoft's new CEO: The technology isn't his problem

SisterClamp

Who goes to OpenOffice? LibreOffice is the ticket. Calligra is coming along fine. I'm not an Abiword fan but I know there are lots of them around. On Windows, you have Office and...?

"You want to install some software? You just have to recompile the kernel."

Wow, are you using a fresh install of Gentoo every time you want to run a programme? Maybe you should leave Linux to the people who actually know something about computers, sweetheart.

Also, "your" > "you're"; "doggy" > "dodgy"; "role" > "roll" but I noticed you spelt "Microsoft" correctly. Good for you!

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Not even 1.4m users can save 4Chan founder Chris Poole's startup

SisterClamp
Coat

Problem is simple...

It was the name. Fancy calling something "DrawQuest". Lame.

My extensive experience has taught me that successful apps have a few keywords mentioned upfront. Thus, I'm developing an app called SmashBoxFish, Cow-Hacker Edition. I don't know what the app will do, nor do I care. The name itself will be enough to get the money rolling in. Jeez, you think 4chan would have thought of that.

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Hackers just POURING through unpatched Internet Explorer zero-day hole

SisterClamp

Unfortunately, Paypal support....

....is telling people to use IE because of a "technical issue" they're having with other browsers.

(Yes, look, I'd love to use another payment system as well, but this is the one I'm currently stuck with, okay?)

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Apple tries to trademark the term 'startup'

SisterClamp
Flame

Re: Apple going off?

Just to bring Syria and Apple together, the Australians have proven themselves, over and over, to be a bunch of whores. Don't expect much.....

Obligatory link: http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/08/28/us-syria-crisis-australia-idUSBRE97R03O20130828 ("Australia backs action against Syria, with or without U.N. approval") Democracy, eh? Wunnerful stuff.

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RIM wakes up woozy in Australia

SisterClamp

Oh good grief....

....who RUNS the Marketing depts of these companies???? And I thought it was mostly the HR goons (goonesses?) who excelled at obfuscatory incompetence. Oh, and the overpaid, overfed Sales grunts. And, now that I mention it, how about most CEOs? (Where's Leo gone, btw? Anyone know?)

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HP murders webOS tablets, phones

SisterClamp

That's...

..."Tits" to you, thank you! I still have 'em both!

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SisterClamp
Devil

Jemma...

...I think I'm in love with you.

Meanwhile, I've already told hubby to wait, pick up two at bargain basement prices and we'll give them to the kids as Christmas presents. They are good kit, just half-baked at release and now a stupid knee-jerk reaction from incompetent twat managers is sending them to product hell. What can you expect though? Leo flunked programming (it was in his official SAP bio if anyone took time to read it) and is now head of one of the biggest IT companies in the world. WTF much? He probably thinks a pre-test loop is something you do in a cul-de-sac with a car you want to buy.

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Australian bank to run trial with human teller in ATM

SisterClamp

Teller then says...

...[after flicking hopelessly through 3-ring binder] Hold on, I'll get my supervisor

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Piles of unshiftable HP fondle-slabs choke Best Buy

SisterClamp
Megaphone

You know that Archos...

...have just opened up their system? I'm waiting for an Angstrom Linux image to load on mine. Six months, I read somewhere. I've set the alarm.

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SisterClamp

A friend of a friend...

...who still works for HP (I know, who knew?) said that their Big Honcho had "surprised" everyone with "gifts" of Touchpads about a month ago. "Oh, not selling well at all then," was my comment. Touche, oh smart Sister Clamp.

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Careless tweets cost lives, warns MoD

SisterClamp
Mushroom

Lost on me...

...because I could hardly understand what the two young women are saying! Don't they have elocution lessons in British schools, or are the teachers now literally mind-readers?

As for "It may not just be friends and family reading your status updates", please to remember that that definitely includes members of several government intelligence agencies. Makes you wonder who the real terrorists are.

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HP: Apotheker rolls more heads

SisterClamp
Holmes

Two things...

1) Leo's strategy might make sense...if he was a competent manager in any way.

2) Ann's promotion is proof positive of that Dilbert cartoon that says: "Attendance is 90% of success."

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Germans completely humourless: Official

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Thanks for the link,

the kids loved it. Combined mechanics and equipment safety tips, German language (they're learning it) plus gore. Better than a zombie movie! Educational too.

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SisterClamp
Devil

Ah yes, "Sex Mission"....

....even just following along as a non-Polish speaker, it was quite humorous. Yes, can't believe the Poles rated so low, although an awful lot of it is/was contextual.

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Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

SisterClamp

Already have one of those darling...

...and a couple of geeklets too, but always appreciate a hat-tip from a fellow Perry fan. Interestingly, I have a degree in psychology and am an ex-martial artist as well. The rest I'll leave to your imagination. ;)

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SisterClamp
Mushroom

Oh dear

I know, as a woman, I'm supposed to like these movies but (a) the trailer saved me the bother (well noted, Popbitch), and (b) I'd rather see things explode amidst a gory cacophony of bullets, flesh, fire accelerants and rampaging robots. That's why I, like you gentlemen, am a geek. So I hear the latest Mandriva's out.......

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German salesmen rewarded with meticulously organised orgy

SisterClamp
Heart

Aw what sweeties!

The fact that it took soooo long for someone to mention "latex" tells me that, regardless of your ribald, macho comments, the vast majority of you are either in monogamous relationships or banging the ole sausage every night. That's so sweet. Big smooches to each and every one of you darlings.

There really should be a condom icon here, Sarah.

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‘We’ll get to the bottom of this’ – HP boss

SisterClamp
Grenade

Managerial fail

His ideas have some merit but I never thought Leo had the 'nads nor neurons to actually execute on revitalising the barren apocalyptic landscape that Hurd left behind. I can see that he's doing a splendid job with the hunting down of people who dare share the bleeding obvious though. Putz.

And, oh yeah, what AC above said.

A once-proud ex-HPer

A grenade because...well, guess.

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Trujillo embraces his inner amigo

SisterClamp

Don't forget...

to also include people from Sydney (if you live in Melbourne), people from Adelaide (if you live in Sydney), people from Perth (if you live in Brisbane), and so on. I remember well the anonymous phone calls in Melbourne telling us that "we'll run all you migrants out of our country" and the "Asians Get Out" signs in the Gold Coast hinterland. Ah happy times, happy times.

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Acer shows laptop lid look tablet

SisterClamp

I don't mind Acer...

...we have a few Acers around the house but, in terms of features and most bang for your buck, I don't think you can move past Asus. I'll be watching this one for a price (and it does look cool) but I'll be comparing it to any Asus offerings before I make my final decision.

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DEC founder Ken Olsen is dead

SisterClamp
Pint

I cut my teeth...

...on the PDP-11, then progressed to the VAX. I still have fond memories of VAX's assembler language and have the occasional delusion of teaching it to the kids, such is my fond nostalgia.

I was devastated at the news that Compaq bought Digital and now to hear that Olsen has passed...? Will definitely raise a glass in his honour tonight. I have great memories of fantastic engineering, all of which have now, as someone else pointed out, been subsumed by marketing crap and vapourware Powerpoint presentations.

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'al-Qaeda suicide cat' sends US Iraq war robots out of control

SisterClamp

@Random Noise

Dogs are haram (forbidden). So no al-Qaeda bitches. Only pussies.

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Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

SisterClamp

@ AC

Altar boys, surely!

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Steve Jobs: 'Pad? That's my word'

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

I thought it was funny....

....reading Fake Steve Jobs' blog (http://bit.ly/aQq41Q), but I see you can't beat the real thing!

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The desktop demands of board-level managers

SisterClamp
Grenade

You missed a third approach

Put contracts out on the most stupid of the high-level managers. That should buck up their neuron firing a bit.

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Spies caught plundering secret Indian docs

SisterClamp

They can plunder all they like.......

if the missile systems are anything like the systems integration work I've seen, nothing will work!

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Experts reboot list of 25 most dangerous coding errors

SisterClamp
Grenade

Just the start...

C'mon guys, I know there are a lot of real techies here. Aren't you just the least bit sick of "developers" who wouldn't know a pre-test from a post-test loop? Managers who don't know the difference between a web server and a mail server? As a computer scientist, I've seen the industry go to hell in a handbasket, and it's not just due to the Indians. Tell me you haven't seen a complete dunce get employed just because they know the hiring manager? I've seen History graduates, secretaries and frickin' carpenters hired as IT developers and consultants. Where's the quality under such conditions?

HP used to have a policy that only people with computing degrees were employed within the company. (Okay, they also had one against hiring women, but let's just go with the positives for the moment.) I say we get back to that and maybe claw back some of the self-respect that disappeared when our promotion got given to someone who could swim 200m faster than anyone else. Bitter? Not much.

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MySQL handler Jacobs walks out on Oracle

SisterClamp
IT Angle

Wow, all these replies...

...and nothing on Ken Jacob's resignation. C'mon guys, focus!

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Mozilla overlooked malware-laced Firefox add-ons

SisterClamp

@kissingthecarpet

I can't think of anything more boring than (2^8)-1 virgins...unless it's 2^8 virgins. As with most things in life, give me real experience anytime!

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Scott McNealy signs off in style

SisterClamp
Coffee/keyboard

@GreyCells

I don't know, GC. I was in Silicon Valley and nobody wanted to work for Sun back in the late 90s. From what I gathered, the culture was highly aggressive, back-stabbing and with a high turnover. Hardly anyone seemed to last more than 2 years in the company. Burn out.

When we, in another high-tech company, lost one cunning and less-than-honest manager, we (peer managers and our direct reports) weren't too surprised that he went to Sun.

Maybe it was different in other parts of the world? Loved, loved loved their hardware though!

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Asus goes wide with Bang & Olufsen laptop

SisterClamp
Gates Horns

All that....

....and only a pissy 120GB hdd??!!!!! How can they be serious? Nice kit otherwise. I'll be looking at Linux compatibility myself.

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Ladies put off tech careers by sci-fi posters, Coke cans

SisterClamp

Letters and/or digits

My desk is stacked with Linux distros on CD, catalogues, bottles of nail polish, USB sticks and a couple of nail files. It also contains 3 screens (2 lappies, 1 desktop, 2 of them running Linux, natch!). The rest of my home office contains another Linux lappy, an Enterprise model with light & sound effects :), an ST:TOS shuttlecraft perched on top of my polarised light lamp, books, 2 printers, blank CD/DVD spools, a digital frame that shows cool wallpapers I've collected along with pix of the family, and posters from Reservoir Dogs and Trainspotting. Oh, and a 5ft aquarium. It's dark and warm. Hubby's home office is bright, spotless and airy with the obligatory 3 machines as well on his desk as well. But the rest of it is clean, sparse, less humid and more pastel-y. Also, he likes pink. We're both in IT. Gads, I love stereotypes.

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New Zealand rated least corrupt country

SisterClamp
FAIL

SINGAPORE??!!!

Not corrupt???!!! Hold on while I faint in my kopi C here. Just to be clear, Singaporeans don't "perceive" anything that messes with their little group-think "all foreigners are evil and just want to destroy us! Destroy us, I say!" mindset.

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Asus to make grab for Toshiba's notebook biz?

SisterClamp
Thumb Down

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Say it ain't so! I was only telling hubby this morning how I lurve me my Tosh lappies. They're not as fugly as Lenovo, don't run hot like HP/Compaqs, don't have funky BIOSs like the Dells, aren't as flaky as MSIs, and are not as pretentious (or unrealistically expensive) as Sonys. Tosh lappies look nice, are nicely specced and Just. Work. What more does any serious user need?

Asus gunning for the Toshiba notebook business? Say it ain't so!

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Latest Moblin Linux polished for netbooks

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Aspire One? No problems

Worked a treat from a USB stick boot. Loaded fast. Looks rather cute too. My only question is, how do you exit? No, really. Where's the Shutdown button? Couldn't find it.

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Microsoft in Bing jingle kiddie vid outrage

SisterClamp

Oh Christ!

It's five-thirty in the morning as I'm writing this and I already need a stiff alcoholic infusion. First on my eyes to burn them forever, then ingested to keep the repression going.

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Japanese algorithm 'can tell if you're about to die'

SisterClamp
Happy

I believe efficiency is increased...

...if you say things such as, "OMG! I'm about to--" and then cut the line in a dramatic fashion. But I think that might just be a software Enhancement Request as Development won't be sure whether you're coming or going! Oh, I slay myself!

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Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Second the thanks

@Kwac: thanks for that. Have a daughter growing up and shall keep that in mind.

And I second ToeShoeGirl's sentiments. You guys can be pig-headed, gross, single-minded, simple-minded, etc. etc., at times, but you're now officially OURS after this outpouring. Thanks for the support. Many many smooches, dudes.

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Beer drinking model to get caned in Malaysia

SisterClamp
Thumb Down

It's a lot more complicated

1) The Koran says nothing about punishment for drinking alcohol. While it's seen as something Not Good, the Muslim good book considers it to be more a personal matter between the sinner and God.

2) Sisters in Islam, a Malaysian women's Muslim group, has condemned the practice as "cruel and inhuman" and has urged the woman in question, several times, to appeal the decision. With the Koran on their side, there's a good chance the ruling may be mitigated, if not reversed. The woman doesn't want to.

3) The govt. (not the Islamic court) has also tried to give the woman an "out" by suggesting appeal avenues, jail terms (which will, in all probability, quietly melt away to a quick shoo out the door after a couple of months).

4) No man has been caned for alcohol consumption in the past few years; this woman is the first.

So, bearing all the above in mind, why is the woman wanting to go through with it? Only she knows.

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Scareware package mimics Windows Blue Screen of Death

SisterClamp
Paris Hilton

@Stu

"Surely the team behind this vaginal belch..."

Is that the same as a penile fart? Paris, because she'd want to know

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