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* Posts by Richard

41 posts • joined 2 May 2007

Enormous HP box spotted from space

Richard
Thumb Up

ROFLOL!

Funniest thing I've read in ages.

Thanks :-)

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'Faith-based' investment firm fingers holiday's most sinful games

Richard
Coat

Let it snow...

How terrible it must be that a group of people are looking to the interests of that group of people and addressing them. Heck, next thing you know, there'll be technology podcasts talking about things that only technology people would want to know, giving them advice and tips on things like 'how to network Linux in a Windows environment' or, worse still, reviews of applications marked down because they're not very good against measured criteria which the afore mentioned group of people would find interesting - but stuff that most people wouldn't even want to read! Shame on them!

Kids should be able to play whatever they want, whatever their age. Can't these stupid do-gooders see that the world is a better place for violent games where toddlers can learn the art of torture and efficient killing? The world is a better place because of these games, more should be produced, aged banding chould be banned. Only this way can the improvements we're seeing in Western society actuall continue to the godless utopia we all want.

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Googlephone unworthy of Satan tag

Richard
Paris Hilton

The <insert (non) religious affiliation here> Phone

We're not being very diverse you know, sticking to Christian characters for our phone metaphors.

Maybe the new Google Phone could be described as the Mohammed Phone since Islam came a while after Christianity but still made an impact.

Maybe it could be the Abraham Phone because it's going to have lots of different models, more in number than the stars in the sky! Or the Joseph Phone if it comes in many colours.

Given the right ringtones and wallpaper, it could become the Krishna Phone, it is Open after all and will accept developers from all persuations.

And finally, not wanting to leave out my faithless cousins, it could be the Dawkins Phone (not that I'd equate him with a part of broken glasses, but we must be fair to all), here to spread reason, logic and cold hard facts (he must be such a romantic). However, there is the option that you could give it more heritage and call it the Darwin Phone to shoe the evolution of the mobile, of course the problem there is that it's getting dangerously close to the iPhone's OS.

Paris, because if you decide it 's the Paris Phone, it'll do whatever you want, wherever you want, no matter how dirty - before telling Google.

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Anonymous hacks Sarah Palin's Yahoo! account

Richard
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How charming...

@Peter Timon

"As a well known figure of that time said "gratitude is a disease of dogs"."

Nice. I bet you're a very nice person to know. Remind me to buy you a pint sometime.

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Noel Gallagher takes a tumble on YouTube

Richard
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Counselling

They probably needed the 'five minutes' for a little therapy. You know how these super-famous media types are, shocked with horror at the thought that someone may not actually like what they do.

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World goes mad as Bill and Jerry eat churros

Richard
Thumb Up

Not half bad

Speaking as a Mac using, iPod loving and iPhone toting fanboi, I think this advert has set a pleasant and human touch for Microsoft. It has a gentle humour and a friendliness which may not resonate with the self-esteeming, high-brow, chattering class of geeks, but I believe it has something that many geeks simply cannot grasp (warmth, happiness, friendliness, quiet satisfaction, joy at the little things in life), hence why geeks think the ads suck (they want specs, performance graphs, 3D graphics and put-downs (because everybody knows that a good put-down is funny)).

Don't get me wrong, I think that Microsoft hasn't got the criminal record it deserves, but this advert isn't half bad and I think it could work for the evil empire.

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Those old timer sign results in full

Richard
Linux

I Should Be Attention

If I'd been paying attention, I'd have done a sign with Richard Dawkins. He's the same age as Cliff Richard and perfectly fits a youth's favoured stereotype of an old person as being a grumpy old kodger who can't stop shouting blinkered and ill-considered fart-matter which makes as much sense as a telephone in a glass of Alphabet Soup.

THE PENGUIN: Because I like to think for myself.

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Three found guilty of web extremism plot

Richard
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Neo Liberals Will be The Death Of Us All

A 23 year old makes secret contact with a 15 year old schoolboy to talk about puppies? He's obviously dodgy. But no, this guy wants to talk about bombs so that's Ok.

Anyway, we're all jumping to conclusions. Just because someone wants to read about making bombs and comes from an ideaology where belief is taken to its 'logical' conclusion and isn't really particularly known for its restraint and moderation, it doesn't mean that he means any harm.

While all the stupid liberals are up in arms and decrying commenters as being not-very-grown-up just because they want to think about things and not take the message they're being fed, isn't it clear that what got Ahmed Sulieman off the hook clearly didn't apply to the other two? Something went in his favour, something which didn't for the two who maybe wanted to make their thought-crimes a little more practical?

The only thought-crime mentality around here is that imposed on people like @Philip who's told he's not a grown up because he's thought the wrong 'non-mamby-pamby-pinko-liberal' thought, not the same nonsense as everyone else. His was the most balanced post here.

Here's to the people who don't fall for silly mob mentaility and can think for themselves!

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US judge says University can ignore Christian course credits

Richard
Stop

Hmmm.....

Whether your teacher told you, you read it in a book or you reckon a beardie man up a mountain told you, 2+2 will = 4. Why say that becaue someone believes a god told you it then it can't count?

The best thing about deceit is you never know you're the victim.

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UK BOFHs face psychometric dissection

Richard
Paris Hilton

Servicing?

"differences between IT technicians and the computer users that they service"

Anyone here serviced one of their users?

I can think of one or two that I'd li....... nah, I won't go there ;-)

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iPhone Mail bug adds phishing danger

Richard

Tap & Hold

Here's a tip; if you tap on a link in an e-mail and hold for a second or two, the URL pops up for your delighted perusal.

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Granite Jesus, blessed be thy gneiss

Richard

Life in stone!

Next, they'll be telling us that worm shaped objects found in stones proves that cats evolved from pebbles.

Everybody's looking at stones and morons like these who reckon they've found Jesus in a blob of rock, a tomato or even a garage floor are no worse than those who expect the rest of the world to abandon their faith because they found a seashell on the seashore that looks like a monkey-man's back tooth.

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Samsung retracts Safari phone claim

Richard

Symbian

I think that anyone with half a brain would have twigged pretty quickly that Webkit was the key here.

But it does show how everyone is clamouring to be associated with and in the same mental frame as Apple.

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Welsh Darth Vader dodges jail

Richard
Coat

Incitement to religious hatred?

Enough people said they were Jedi in the last census so come on! He's a hater and needs to be realigned!

Just please, nobody draw a picture of Darth Vader with a Lightsabre in his helmet because the Siths might take offence and burn Rebel Alliance flags in the street.

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Amy Winehouse pitches for Bond theme

Richard
Coat

Why?

Why is it that when it comes in seeking role models that our kids will no doubt want to emulate at some point in their impressionable lives, we always seem to celebrate those who do drugs, alcohol, unsafe sex and selfishness, branding those who try and keep a clean nose as wimpish, pathetic, weak and lacking in value?

We always seem to be negative about positive things and positive about negative things. Hrumph!

Maybe it's the same mentality that makes the Empire's action toys cooler than the Rebels'

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Official: O2 and Carphone Warehouse to slash 8GB iPhone price

Richard
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You must have agreed to be spammed to get the £100

I got this from Carphone Warehouse;

"In regards to this offer being offered relating to the Iphone there are

the following terms and conditions.

- You must have purchased your Iphone at the higher price on or after

the 17th March

- *** You must have provided permission for Direct Marketing and other

information to be sent to you*** at the time when you purchased your

Iphone." (My emphasis)

As I see it then, if you said no to being spammed when you activated, you're not getting your pennies.

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Sony, MS want control of PS3, Xbox iPlayer, Beeb boss claims

Richard
Stop

Wait a minute...

So the BBC want to put up a website that stream media and MS and Sony want to tell them how to do it? WTH?

Next, these guys will be blocking websites because they don't look pretty enough (and The Register would fail dismally at the moment with that slidey 'Take Our Survey?' thing).

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O2 PR calls Reg readers 'techie nerds'

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Yahoo! to Microsoft: No surrender!

Richard
Coat

Stevie Can't Live If Living Is Without Bill

M$ Said: "It is unfortunate that by choosing not to enter into substantive negotiations with us, you have failed to give due consideration to a transaction that has tremendous benefits for Yahoo!’s shareholders and employees."

Yahoo! Said: "Moreover, Steve, you personally attended two of these meetings and could have advanced discussions in any way you saw fit."

That's Microsoft and Steve Ballmer all over. Come on Steve, what's the mantra?

"Solicitors! Solicitors! Solicitors! Solicitors!"

Ok, it should be lawyers but that doesn't ring as well.

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Teachers crucified by coughing pupils

Richard
Alien

What can we expect?

Stupid Liberals have made sure that there is nothing a teacher can do to prevent a child from acting like an animal and this somehow makes the world a better place. With idiots who have no comprehension of what they are doing and the effects of their actions on others and with NO comeback on them, how can we even begin to think that things are going to get better in schools and outside of schools.

This kind of thing sucks. Kids encourage each other to ape about like brainless schmucks and there's no discouragement at all to try and be a human for five minutes because teachers are (rightfully) afraid that if they try and do something about it they'll end up on the sex offenders' register.

If nobody can teach these moronic kids about responsibility, cause and effect, right from wrong, and how to not be a mong, then they won't learn those things and they'll just end up being benefits cheats that we have to pay for.

And someone wants to lower the voting age? We're all doomed!

An alien because Stupid Liberals have no shields against their laser blasters.

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Tom Cruise does splits in birthday boogie vid

Richard
Paris Hilton

I heard that Scientologists....

.... go to the bog and some of them (Tom Cruise among them) go more than once a week!

Sheesh! What's the news here?

Paris because there's probably a video of her going to the bog somewhere on 'internet'.

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Sun will swallow Earth: Official

Richard
Alien

What really matters is...

We all know that the earth will survive the sun getting all big and bothered because we've seen it in Doctor Who; and when the super-duper magnetic things that stop the earth being swallowed up get turned off, there'll be a bunch of blue people watching it from a special observational hotel in space.

At least when it does go off, nobody'll mind that they spent money on a HD-DVD player.

Anyway, why can't the scientists spend more time on the things that affect us here and now, like itchy nipples?

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Quake rocks Britain

Richard
Paris Hilton

Who you gonna call?

I love the people who call the police when there's an earthquake; obviously earthquakes are probably against the law and these people who call the fuzz clearly care more than the rest of us who cynically believe that there's probably not much the police (or the fire brigade or even the army) can do to stop it.

But all hail the news for telling us we're Ok!

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Microsoft rides PCs and Xboxen to rich Q2

Richard
Dead Vulture

Awaiting puberty?

Someone should impose an 'Adult Only' limit on commenting here... but I must admit, watching the teenage fanboys argyuing over minor points and calling each other stupid is fun. Takes me back to the heady days of "My Amiga is better than your shit Atari ST!"

Once they discover girls (or boys depending on gender and orientation), they'll stop worrying about what OS someone else is using.

They're so JPZR!

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Lightsaber voted top movie weapon

Richard

I can't believe the top ten hasn't got...

the all singing, all dancing and fantastic AT-AT!!!!! That, surely, must be the mother of them all! I know it couldn't blow up planets, but it walked, was bigger than Digby (youngsters won't understand that one!) and I had one in my living room when I was a kid!

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Bjork lays into NZ snapper

Richard
IT Angle

Hmmmmm.... Bjork!

I have a soft spot for Bjork but have to admit, she is as mad as a box of frogs. This kind of behaviour seems to go against the love for nature she has but as has already been said, she was probably knackered and wouldn't have appreciated some fella sticking his lense up her nose.

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Gates kicks off farewell tour in Vegas

Richard
Gates Halo

Diving into his charity

How much of his work in third words countries is involved with 'persuading' governments not to use Linux?

We all know he's as objective as a fatty-boom-boom on a see-saw.

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Apple targeted in DRM monopoly suit (again)

Richard
Joke

Can I sue The Register...

...because the facility exists to publish its website in Welsh (translators), but it doesn't. If I can't have it in Welsh, then it's a clear Lock-In to English which I resent. I want the freedom to read my tech news in Welsh and The Register should be willing to pay someone to translate the website into Welsh.

Dang, my Human Rights are being ruined by the evil of The Register! I will sue you in the European Court and you will publish your website in the language I want you to publish it in. Sure, I understand English and I know of one or two Welsh language sites out there, but I want The Register to do this now!

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Bikini-clad pin-ups cover old school jailbreak

Richard
Paris Hilton

Dummies

Are dummies standard issue for prisoners now?

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Mozilla rubbishes IE Firefox security study

Richard
Joke

Wait a minute...

I'm sure I've read an article somewhere with Microsoft saying that because it issues more fixes than Apple, it's more secure than Apple.

And now here's Microsoft saying that because Firefox issues more fixes than Microsoft, Microsoft is better then Firefox?

Can't say I've heard of Firefox Tuesday or anything like that but that's just me - I live in a cave.

Lordy, I'm glad Microsoft is around to defend me against dodgy software that's prone to weak security and infliltration.

Thank you Microsoft.

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Panto star sacked for foul-mouthed outburst

Richard
Dead Vulture

A bit early for ChristX!

Why on earth are they putting up ChristX lights so early? I remember the day, back when I were't lad, a ChristX tree couldn't be seen a fortnight before December 25 (which would, I guess, be around December 11). Now, I can't so much as swing a cat for ChristX trees and lights and snowmen everywhere with Halloween, Guy Fawkes and ChristX seeming to merge into a big blur.

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Saudi prince blows fortune on A380 'flying palace'

Richard
Mars

To the world....

"more space, more comfort and a more modern design that flies non-stop to the world"

To the world..... from where?

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Flying cow destroys minivan

Richard

Warning...

Jumped off 'without warning'.

What kind of warning would one want?

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Leopard data loss glitch uncovered

Richard
Alert

Common sense

Common sense tells me to NEVER move a file across devices anyway, I always copy and delete after.

Why?

Because this has happened to me in Windows.

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Man sues God

Richard

Already done...

Of course, many people would say that this has already been done and that after standing trial, was found guilty was crucified.

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Richard

Already done...

Of course, many are of the opinion that God has already been put on trial and was crucified after being found guilty.

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ISPs hijack BBC in tiered services push

Richard

Good News for TV-Free Households

The good thing about this (if there is a good thing) is that if ISPs are ever going to introduce 'pay extra to watch iPlayer', people like me who don't own a telly are less likely to get stung by the TV Licensing Anus Watchers who would like to argue that because the t'internet comes to my house then so does all night BBC fests of Eastenders, Panorama and CBEEBIES.

As it happens, no telly is quite liberating, as is not having to pay the license fee.

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Cat senses impending death

Richard

Egyptians

Maybe this is why the Egyptians held cats in such high esteem, but I can imagine the sheer terror felt by any of the residents should the cat so much as poke its nose through the door.

Eeeek! Get out! I'm not ready to go!

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Rufus quits Gadspot

Richard

Anonymous?

I think that while what the original person did was understandable, he should not have put someone else's name in. That's just plain dastardly.

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Gardener offers mouthwatering 'mow and blow' deal

Richard

Fertilizing?

Jose's men fertilizes the lawn and plants at least five times a year?

You don't want to know the kind of picture I had in my sick mind when I read that!

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Jesus appears in Samsung Flash memory chip

Richard

It's Brian Blessed

King of the bird people, not King of the Jews.

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