# Posts by |333173|3|_||3

43 posts • joined 2 May 2007

### BOFH: Server room secret panels

#### @amamnfrommars

A coherent and relevant post from amamnfrommars! The Universe is about to end!

Dead vulture because when the universe ends, el reg will die with it.

### BOFH: The all-clicking, all-whirring Roboboss

#### @AC - amanfromMars

I suspect a neural net:

The pig go. Go is to the fountain. The pig put foot. Grunt. Foot in what? ketchup. The dove fly. Fly is in sky. The dove drop something. The something on the pig. The pig disgusting. The pig rattle. Rattle with dove. The dove angry. The pig leave. The dove produce. Produce is chicken wing. With wing bark. No Quack.

(For teh story behind that passage, see http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/No,_We_Need_a_Neural_Network.aspx )

### EU wants RFID tags turned off

#### advantages of deactivation

The main advantage of deactivating RFID tags is that if I buy items in one shop, then I go into another with an RFID scanner on the checkout, if they have access tot eh database of tag codes, they will be able to correlate purchases of items in ther shop with other products, and if I pay with credit/debit/EFTPOS, then this enables them to build up a better picture of what I buy. This is a fairly small thing, but some people don't want everyone who cares to find out what I have bought.

One other advantage, which affects everyone, not just the tinfoil-hat brigade, is that if a criminal could use a portable scanner then they could identify people potnetially worth mugging by just walking past them, since even without the database of codes, most RFID-protected items are small or expensive, and that the carrier of many such items is likely to be worth robbing.

### BOFH: What GPS is for

#### @Phil Rigby

The PFY first appears as Simon's replacement late in the old series (when the BOFH is a Manager), and the PFY's uncle is not just the Boss, he is the CEO.

### Brown will 'scrap ID cards' for UK citizens, claims paper

#### Can I see your ID?

Police: can I see your ID please?

Illegal immigrant: I don't have one, I'm a citizen

Police: OK...

Something tells me this is a slightly bigger loophole than nipping in and out of the country.

### BOFH: Budget cuts

#### @Cheers!

The humour of your post is probably lost on the non-Aussies here. Just so you all know, VB is the second-worst Australian beer, only trumped by NT Draught. The difference is that VB is sold in stubbies and tastes like fermented cats; piss, whilst NT draught is sold in 2L bottles and is fermented cats' piss

### Judge orders football website to name 'libellous' posters

#### title

Doesn't it have to be believable for it to be libel: if I were to claim that Bill Gates was intent on taking over the universe then it would hardly be libel, since no-one in thier right minds would believe that. Likewise, no-one should believe unmoderated user comments on forums, and especially not troll/flame type posts. This should be laughed out of court by any sane judge.

### Blueberry heir loses libel suit against drunken lothario

#### CDA decision may be wrong

IANAL, but, IIRC, section 230 of the CDA only protects the operators of an unmoderated site, or one in which posts are never deleted. Once posts are deleted by the operator without a court order or some other compulsion, you become responsible for content on your site. Of course, apart from the comment about looking like he was being fisted by a large ape, the CDA is not actually relevant in this case.

### Aussie bin Laden penetrates APEC security

#### Title

The plan, according to one of the Chaser's crew who was not among those arrested, was to, at the first checkpoint, have Chas Liccardello, dressed as Bin Laden, demand entry, on the grounds that he had more influence over Asia-Pacific affairs than Chile, Peru, the Philippines, and so on, and that they were as surprised as anyone that they were let through. When they were arrested, it was not Chas who was arrested, but the other member of the Chasers who was with him, then a second policeman also came over and grabbed the one they already had hold of, before anyone did anything about Chas.

Alexander Downer is possibly better than Costello or Downer. I don't know what he studied, but he handled an audience with a large number of Physicists and engineers at the University of Adelaide very well, far better than others have handled that crowd. Of course, I could be slightly biased, as I am a South Australian (his electorate home is not far from my home).

### Boffins issue speeding ticket for FTL photons

#### Kiwi sheep

Kiwi sheep must be the slowest on earth, since they have a negative velocity and come running whenever they see a naked Kiwi.

I'll get my coat and Akubra.

### Click here for the UK's highest-paid IT post

#### Payment

You only need to poses these products (or presumably a licence to them), it says nothing about ever having nay experience using them, or even opening the box and accepting the shrink-wrap agreement. I would therefore suggest buying unopened copies of each (NT4 may be herd to find), and if you don't get the job, returning them for a full refund.

At he lowest hourly rate, assuming a mere 35 hour week, working 48 weeks a year, that gives you GBP 7 200 000. At the upper end, assuming the same number of hours, you get GBP 168M pa. I knew analysts were always over-payed, but it looks like I am studying the wrong subject. Since the CIO and CEO of this company would both be payed more than an analyst, I wonder how much they make.

### Gentoo cuts key parts of itself from net for its own good

#### not the main prgrammers

I doubt that the main contributors to the project would have been involved in writing the site. rather, a few people who wanted to help in other ways almost certainly did most of the coding, since Python is a language most programmers don't want to touch with a 20' barge pole.

### Doctor Who signs up thinking man's crumpet

#### Tennat

Tennant isn't too bad, but he lacks the style of John Pertwee (my favourite Doctor), or the wit of Tom Baker. I would really like to see more stories like teh many involving UNIT, or teh one in which John Pertwee is in a house which gets blown up by resistance forces from teh furture trying to prevent the house being blown up and starting a war which allowed the Daleks to invade Earth, and other such complicated 4-5 episode plotlines.

### 'Portable' CD player puts MP3 into a spin

#### Portalbe ripper

It would be useful as a portable ripper, if you were visitng a friend.

### 'Wild West' internet needs a sheriff

#### re: Neither the Theory or Reality is suitable

1) mOst are pretty good heuristics, and work well enough. those that do defeat current spam filters for any length of time are usually emails with imagemaps instead of text. Email clients should have "download pictures automatically" turned of by defualt.

2) That would not stop malware-laden attachments sent by scanning address books, adn most people have attachments set to not automatically download to save bandwidth.

3) Microsoft securtiy is what gave us Vista (partly). More of it is not a good idea.

4) ISPs should not do this. It should be part of the National Curriculum for say year 10s, and the manual freely availible from public libriries or somewhere similar.

Like in the Wild West, you should look after yourself, and if you think you can take down a scammer or spammer without getting your sytem wiped out or harming inocent bystanders, then you should be allowed free rein to do so.

### Origins of the assault rifle

#### US Automatic Rifle

THe early US Automaitc rifles were slower than an expert British soldier using a .303 bolt action rifle (a slowly evolving design which originated in teh Crimea War, adn was not finally abandoned until after WWII), although they were faster than raw recruits using Rifle Mk 5's , the final version of the British .303.

### Harry Potter and the Virus of Doom

I thought it was mentioned somewhere he becomes Head of the Auror Office, making Ginny his immediate superior. I can see him as a sort of Dirty Harry, blasting his way through walls, pointing his wand at suspects and grinning "Make my F*cking day" at them.

### XML upgrade assessments needed for higher ed

#### BBC Jam

If BBC Jam were a new independent trust, with a charter to act as a portal for all childrens learning for all governemnt trusts, with the individual subject area staff rolled into the seperate museums. Thus the Science and Natural History Museums could cover most of science, each of the major history museums, adn the IWM, could cover history, the arts would be covered by the V&A, major galleries, the National Teatre, and so forth. Teh same staff could cary on doing the same jobs, they would simply be in new offices. Provided thier superiors knew what the score was, everything should work well.

Of course, a better solution would be to simply ignore the ruling,a dn refuse to pay any fines imposed. THe sheer panic caused by the threat of Britain ignoring unwanted instructions and he fact that the UK sends more money to Brussels than it recieves back, would be at least a worry. to Brussels

### Illinois baby issued with firearms permit

#### Time of Emergency

I thought that the US constitution only allowed civiliians to bear arms in a time of emergency. Since most parts of the USA are not in a State of Emergency, guns are not permitted to be borne by civilians in those areas.

By the logic expounded by the gun lobby, it would be reasonable to fit ship which travel through certain parts of the Indian Ocean, where piracy is rife, with perhaps 4" guns (18" RADAR-controlled guns would be a bit excessive, but a 4" gun could make a reall mess of a boatload of men with AKs). (not necessarily a bad idea, not that I come to think of it, excet that then the pirates could easily use them too).

OTOH, if I were allowed to keep a gun (my residency contract explicitly forbids them, along with fireworks and "weapons of any sort", I might get one, if I could afford it. One might come in handy, and the running costs are negligible (ony govt. charges & a little maintenance)

On the whole, I am not against gun ownership, simply against stupid or insanely lax rules. A pistol, shotgun, or bolt-action rifle is oene thing, an M60 quite another.

### Seagate FreeAgent Pro 750GB external hard drive

#### Good Lord!

What were they thinking when they designed that? Shame it would void hte warranty to cut it open and put it in a nice case which doesn't look like something out of the 80's. A nice, plain, aluminium (or even plain, scratch resisteant plastic) case with a few blue LEDs for power, disk activity and so on would have been prefeeable to this ugly thing. You would ave thought they would make it eitehr a neutra design, so it looks OK with everything, or something which shows at least a vauge resemlence to a closed laptop.

Looks apart, it seems like a reasonable piece of Tech, although not so cheap or good as some of the 3.5" external SATA drive cases with USB and eSATA plugs and a seperate HDD, although they do require you to put it together yourself.

Printing "Hello" on the bags seems like someone just couldn't think of anything better to put there, but wanted to fill the space.

### No end in sight for Vista's Long Goodbye

#### (untitled)

I have not heard about copying problems from the dozen or so vista users where I live, but since it is late at night here, I can't be bothered to wake them up until tomorrow.

I wonder if there has been any code like some from windows 2K comments like "this is my first c program", "I don't really understand this but it seems to work" (this had a reply "I don't know either, leave it alone"), which were all reported to have been in the source code. I think the forst of those was from FDISK, and had been in every 32-bit windows at least up to XP.

From what I have read, some of the problem appears to be from the fooling around generating thumbnails. This seems to be something vista does badly, since both Tiger and XP manges to generate thumbnails for, between them most file types which can have thumbnails, and don't seem to waste huge amounts of time doing so. (I am not a Mac fan, I just use them at Uni. I have used OpenSuse/KDE, XP home and pro, adn Tiger in the lst two months, and they are all better for some things than otehrs, except for XP home). Under XP i have tried to cut down on teh use of Tumbnails, since I have better things to waste HDD space on than pretty pictures to remind me whats in files with stupid names. If I can't figure out what a file is for from its location adn name, that tells me to rename it, not use a pretty picture to remind me.

### How Google translates without understanding

#### not a 1:1 correlation

There are plenty of words for which there is not a 1:1 correlation between two languages, and even concepts for which the words might be shared in one language but not in antoehr. For example, I have heard that in Russian, a common word for "proper" in teh sense of correct behavior is the same as a word for "convienient". thus if i were to ask someone to bribe anotehr for me, and they were to respond (in Russian) that to do so would be improper, a statistical amchine translator would probably translate the response as teh person saying that it would be inconvienint for them to do it. Since it requires a reasonable amount of common sense, it would be hard for a computer to understand the context of the discussion and so figure out which word is correct, especially if the context has to be inferred from a previous paragraph, or a seperate piece of text altogetehr.

I bet that if you translated something using any machine translator into written hebrew, and than back into any western language of your choice, the tenses would be completely mangled, since Hebrew relies on the reader figuring out the tense and putting in the right inflection. (consider the story of Jesus preaching in the Synagouge in Nazareth).

A better means of translation would be to write sentences in some form of internationalised programming language, which unambiguosly describes the relation between concepts, and the tenses involved. Then it would be a far simpler task to compile the text into readable text. Of course, you would still want to have original language text for anything where exact replication fo the text is necesarry, such as poetry, legal document and so forth.

### BOFH: OutBOFHd

#### Systems vs. Networks again

Maybe Simon Travilga wants to have some fun with a war between systems and networks again. Remember, when the BOFH first worked for the PFYs uncle, he was only networks, and had to get control over systems. Again, when he and the PFY were headhunted, the same thing happened. Maybe he wants to have another battle between Systems and Networks in a month or two. That could give loads of fun with electrified CAT5, explosives, hacked doors, and so on, before Systems comes back under his control, which could last for a few months, on and off, without loosing such chaacters as the janitor and the security guard.

### Schoolboy scammer caught again

#### Dumbass

He should have worked through a proxy (TOR?) from a public computer which does not keep access logs, t set up a site in some bannana republic where they will not bother to investigate him. Once the site is up and working (all the design and testing can be done from home, before uploading it), all he has to do is sit back and profit, with money going into an overseas bank account.

### How do you carry your mobile phone?

#### Holster

Phone on the left, iPod on the right in a clamshell, wallet and key card in the left pocket, USB sticks around my neck, and keys in the right pocket. Aprt from my wallet, which rarely has much money in it, the other items are palinly visible when my shirt is tucked in.

My phone's holster has a swiveling clip on it, so that the phone can be clipped to ones belt in an easily reachable position without it sticking in one stomach. Now I jist wish my iPod's clamshell had one too. I doo sometimes wear my keys and phone on my neck, when I am running/cycling or in the gym,.

### ICANN pushes for public participation in top level domains

#### Internationalised Domain Names

Couldn't there be a prefix to the domain name transmitted to the DNS to specify "this sequence of bytes represents Unicode text, not ASCII", to allow any unicode text to be used as a domain name. Existing ASCII records would need to be converted to Unicode, but that would be a trviial change, except for the added disk space required to store the larger text strings.

Personally, i think that gTLDs hould be scrapped altogether, witht eh exception of .ORG, and .ARPA. a .UN TLD can be used for all UN sites. Every other site would be under a ccTLD, and operates soley under that countrys laws. THus any business which is conducted on a .RU domain which contravenes US law but is legal in Russia is legal no matter where the the person on either end might physically be lcated, because they would be considered to have temporarily teleported to the country where the domain name is registered to sign any contracts made. if goods are purchased, the position should be the same as if I had gone to, Country A to place a contract with a person from Country B to supply me with goods from the Country C, for which I will pay by transferring money from my bank account in counrty D to his in Country E. This solves issues of juristiction in internet crimes and civil matters such as IP violations. It also sorts out taxation and otehr government regulation of web activity.

### Moto gives thumbs-up to 'imperial purple' RAZR

#### cardinals

Cardinals wear red, not purple. Have you never seen The Three Musketeers?

### Lords investigate 'unconstitutional' surveillance society

#### not FDR, but Thomas Jefferson

The quote above is usually attributed to Thomas Jefferson.

To defeat th facial recognition systems, we should all start a mass campaign to get people to wear bikie beards, balaklavas, big coyboy-type hats, face covering robes or scarves or something similar (not forgetting the tin-foil hat). HTe last option, an arab robe or something of that sort, is perfect, beacuse if anyone tries to get you to take it off, you could threaten to sue him for racial discrimination adn any related offence you could think of. OTOH, I think i will jst wear my big hat.

### 'IE8 compatible' - the cure for web standards headache?

#### Frontpage?

Who uses frontpage anymore? Coding monkeys would at least be using Dreamweaver. At least we are not seeing the useless Word HTML pages so much anymore.

Maybe the solution to teh MSIE compatability problems would be to use an IE exploit to force download Fx and open the page in that ;-)

### Spanish flag flies over Gibraltar

#### Generous:

We did give the Soanish back Minorca (as part of the Peace of Aimeins), so they should be happy with what they got.

I would say that it would be fair for the Spanish to have Gibraltar if they give us Madrid, Barcelona, and enough sities that the number of people who want to be part of the UK is as great as it is in Gibraltar. And good luck to the Spanish if they can do it.

Maybe the solution would be to destroy their navy again? We don't need Admiral Hornblower, we ned Lord Nelson adn Sir Francis Drake.