* Posts by General A. Annoying

58 posts • joined 6 Mar 2009

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The Quick - and the Dead in the Water

General A. Annoying

Yet another 'fuck-up merchant'...

gets to *resign*, no doubt with his lardy assed pension still totally intact.

Which is more than could be said for the rest of us if we cocked up for our employer so publicly.

Gits, the lot of em.

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Sonar causes (temporary) deafness in dolphins

General A. Annoying

Cue...

the 'Decibel Pedants'!

No dolphins were harmed in the writing of this comment (although some possibly were in the production of today's tuna sarnies for lunch)!

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Secret European project to battle online jihad

General A. Annoying
Stop

@ Shut the f**k up

well said.

Also, is it just extremist Islamic material their trying to block, or are they going to block extremist Christian material, of which there's plenty if you look for it, too?

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Report: Legalising drugs would save UK plc huge packet

General A. Annoying

Seems like common sense...

therefore will be ignored entirely by this, and any subsequent government for the foreseeable future.

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Japanese unleash Jedi Obama

General A. Annoying
Happy

Still laughing...

especially at the first one with the pistol, in the 'James Bond' pose.

As for the final "You da man!!" image, classic!

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HP bails on massive Wi-Fi patent claim

General A. Annoying

A way out of the recession?

Become a patent troll!

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BT does Italian Job on London traffic lights

General A. Annoying

Sarcasm Alert!!

"On you go BT."

At least I hope you're being sarcastic!

It took the useless fuckers almost a month to repair the damaged multicore to the pole serving our house after some dozy smegger cut it with a digger.

As someone posted on the earlier article, BT need to get their act together on the diversity and redundancy factors.

With some added redundancy for those responsible for not ensuring there was enough of both in the system.

Not so much a network as a few bits of damp string knotted together incoherantly

Twonks.

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UK transport minister's website pwned

General A. Annoying
Alert

"remains a jumble for Firefox fans for reasons that are not immediately obvious."

Possibly due to them using completely clueless numpties to 'sort it out'?

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UKBA to exchange fingerprints with US

General A. Annoying

That has GOT to be...

the best April Fool's Joke ever, surely.

"The organisation, which gained full executive agency status on 1 April 2009"

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General A. Annoying
Thumb Down

And another rhing

UKBA to exchange fingerprints with US

Is that exchange as in "we'll give you ours if you give us yours"

or (the , let's face it, more likely)

"here's ours"

Thumb down, cos that's what we'll all have to do shortly if this shower of fuckers get their way.

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BBC fined £150k over Manuelgate

General A. Annoying

Que?

Oh, 150 Que!

That'll be another 50p on the licence fee to cover that then.

Or does that come out of what they saved by not paying Wossy whilst he was off-air?

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French pass 'three strikes' file-sharing law

General A. Annoying
Alert

what country in its right mind...

would allow a law to be passed by the participation1/40th (if that's true) of its (presumably) elected representatives?

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Lloyd-Webber calls for clampdown on ISPs

General A. Annoying
Happy

ALW is hardly likely...

to be suffering much in the way of revenue loss to "illegal file sharing", I'd have thought

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Ofcom gets puffed out over wind turbines

General A. Annoying

Yet another reason...

why wind farms are such a waste of time.

Let's forget about them and find something else.

How about Nuclear.

Static buildings, smaller footprints, low emissions, no shredded birds...

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Fighting Thermageddon just got £1 trillion cheaper

General A. Annoying
Alert

"The UK's annual GDP is over £2tn"

We should be even cheaper then, as I suspect our GDP is likely to be substantially below that.

And isn't it just a teensy bit coincidental, £1Tn in "benefits which had previously escaped your notice" is surprisingly like the amount this country is likely to be in debt by (at least) to get us 'out' of the current economic situation?

As a certain Mr. Royle would say; "Coincidence, my arse!"

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UK.gov to get power to force ISPs to block child porn

General A. Annoying

@ Cpt. Jamie

is that 'competent', 'competent judicial' or 'judicial'?

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Nintendo's Iwata reveals wii storage fix, new games

General A. Annoying

Not quite...

"but virtual console games can now be saved and loaded directly from the cards."

Just did the update this morning. You have to 'temporarily transfer' downloaded games from the SD card into the Wii system memory before you can play.

Or at least that's what the instructions contained in the update tell you.

At least they've gone some way to addressing the issue.

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Deadfish iPhones send users into deep freeze

General A. Annoying

bit of a sweeping statement there

"if replacements are solving the problem then it's a manufacturing issue, not a design one"

Were you involved in the design?

No?

Then how do you *know* it's not a design issue?

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BMW driver follows satnav to edge of cliff

General A. Annoying

He must be relieved...

of his driving licence and car keys with immediate effect.

What a complete ARSE.

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Lawyer-client privilege no bar to surveillance, say Lords

General A. Annoying

@How bad is it in the UK?

REALLY fucking bad!

And getting rapidly worse.

As for "What does "taken offside" mean?"

DUH!

WTF do you think he meant?

The only connections with sport would involve either a baseball bat (or two, or three), or perhaps a starting pistol (or something *very* similar).

Use your imagination.

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General A. Annoying
Alert

let me get this straight...

Her Wackiness has (very possibly) been acting illegaly?

Not that I'm expecting *anything* to be done about it.

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Online retailer offers Sim-free iPhone 3Gs

General A. Annoying

If they're 'obliged'

to offer sim free iphones in one EU country, shouldn't they be 'obliged' to offer them in all EU countries?

After all, I (naively) thought that was part of the EU's raison d'etre.

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ID cards not compulsory after all, says Home Office

General A. Annoying

What the fuck is the difference?

Compulsory ID Card

or

Compulsory Passport

The real problem, as you say, is the database.

That, and the word "compulsory".

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Police ad urges: 'Trust no one'

General A. Annoying
Thumb Down

"doing what is necessary to protect the public in dangerous times"

A bit like VIKI in I, Robot.

Fucking scaremongers.

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Worm breeds botnet from home routers, modems

General A. Annoying
Thumb Down

Not only passwords...

but usernames that can't be changed in some cases. (my router was 'admin' for both u/n & p/w, how nuts is that?)

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Google behavioral ads tap DoubleClick eyeball

General A. Annoying

Devil's Advocate.

Look at it this way, if you're using Google's 'free' services (Gmail, picasa, search, maps, whatever) then they're using 'your' data to turn a profit. Which, if you think about it, is pretty fair.

They should, however, make this completely clear and transparent, and no data should be linked to any IP address for any longer than, say 14 days.

Time to come clean guys.

Phorm/BT on the other hand, are not going to be operating this model. The user will already be paying BT for their service. Phorm/BT are simply harvesting this info to make MORE money, with no discernible benefit to the users, as far as I can see ('Targeted' or 'more relevant' ads do not, IMO, constitute a "discernible benefit")

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BT names first 29 exchanges for fibre rollout

General A. Annoying

FTTC, replacement or suppliment?

"I was trolling along, on moonlight bay, dah de de de de de de dee,...."

Seriously though, is FTTC intended to replace the existing copper multicore from the exchange to "your nearest roadside cabinet" or is it going to be supplementary to it, thereby enabling ET, sorry BT, to proffer a two-tier service?

I have to agree with a great many of the posts here, it should be rolled out in more 'rural' areas first, with preference given to those areas with either no broadband, or piss-poor connections.

But that wouldn't be 'economically viable' I suppose.

Finally, my apologies to our Welsh reader. How could I possibly have missed "Taffs Well - Rhondda Cynon Taf"

"iechyd da"

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General A. Annoying
Thumb Down

They need to change their name to..

E.T.

3 sites in Scotland, 1 each Wales And NI

oh aye, VERY British.

NOT.

As for FTTC, fine, but if the copper between the cabinet and the socket has a multitude of joints in it...

A lame, half-arsed attempt, yet again.

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Girls Aloud obscenity trial delayed

General A. Annoying
Pirate

"A member of the public reported his story to the Internet Watch Foundation,"

Surely that's got to be a prime example of utter hypocrisy by the in-duh-vidual involved.

Just what did they expect to find on the "alt sex story repository" exactly?

Goldilocks & the 3 Bears?

Snow White & the 7 Dwarves (or should that be vertically challenged gem miners?) ?

Sleeping Beauty?

No, I'm referring to the 'traditional' versions, not the versions I imagine you WOULD find there.

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Ministers spending billions on unlawful databases

General A. Annoying
Unhappy

The only real surprise...

is that it's only 11 that are "almost certainly illegal under human rights or data protection law".

This report looks like something that the ICO should be able to get it's teeth into.

Wait

Did I say "ICO" and "get it's teeth into" in the same sentence there?

My mistake. I do apologise.

I did of course mean "ICO" and "steadfastly and resolutely ignore, or claim that its not it's responsibility to do anything about Government departments wantonly breaching Data Protection legislation."

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Cops wanted compulsory DNA cards

General A. Annoying

Memo to Civil Servants.

Please revisit your job title.

YOU are OUR servants,

NOT the other fucking way round.

Please take the time to get that concept firmly embedded into your thick fucking heads.

Thank You for your time.

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Brussels: Old-school lightbulbs to be gone by 2012

General A. Annoying

It'll be a LONG time...

before Ye Olde Incandescents are gone. People will stock up on them to use in light fittings that simply are not suitable for, or were never designed to be compatible with, CFLs.

Personally, we have 36% of the fixed lighting in our house still running on Ye Olde Bulbes, simply because the fittings are not suitable for CFLs (either too big to go inside the enclosed glass shade and still give enough light, or on a PIR that's not rated for CFL). the rest run on halogens. If that sort of percentage is repeated across europe, that's a shitload of lighting.

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Google Street View hits UK streets

General A. Annoying
Happy

I spy...

a massive timewasting fest ahead!!

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Minister admits thought crime is on the agenda

General A. Annoying
Stop

Holy Fucking Shit Batman!

Read my lips, you bunch of arseholes!

It's NOT a Fucking MANUAL!

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Brit D-cell torpedo in icepack-bottom probe

General A. Annoying
Paris Hilton

Bit of an own goal there...

I take it the 'boffins' haven't heard of rechargeable batteries then.

No, don't start with the "you'd need more of them than alkelines so the sub would be heavier...yadda, yadda, yadda." This should have been figured out early on in the design.

Or was it sponsored by "Duracell"?

Paris, as I imagine she likes her submersible devices to be rechargeable!!

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Irish ISPs rally against record label anti-piracy threat

General A. Annoying

Excellent News.

It's high time the dinosaurs that are the record labels realised that their time is almost over.

Unless they embrace the changing media world, rather than attempt to strangle the life out of it, that is.

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Juror tweets could force retrial

General A. Annoying

'Twit' doesn't quite cover it

You simply replace the alphabet's 3rd vowel with the 1st.

Hope they throw the book at the 'tw*t' for contempt.

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Ofcom makes network operators carry mis-selling can

General A. Annoying

Its only a stick...

if they actually use it.

Otherwise it'll just look like a decorative leg, being used to prop up a sad, toothless flea-bitten (watch)dog.

They body-swerved the Phorm/BT trials issue. can't see them having the balls to take on the mobile networks either.

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Lights out, Britons told - we're running out of power

General A. Annoying
Stop

MP's 'Leading by example'

They've been doing that since the dawn of politics!

The Energy Saving Trust.

Now THERE'S an oxymoron.

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General A. Annoying

useless

Fucking

Wankers!

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Great Aussie firewall claims first victim

General A. Annoying
Happy

Brilliantly simple...

and simply brilliant.

Shows just how crap a grasp ACMA actually has on common 'net slang, never mind content.

Quite literally FOAD!

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Hollywood retrofits MacGyver into feature flick

General A. Annoying

At least...

Patti and Selma will be happy(er)!

Note to Hollywood.

For the love of <insert preferred deity / alien>, stop 'resurrecting' long dead TV shows. Try coming up with an ORIGINAL idea a little more often.

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Industry ponders fate of Wacky Jacqui's überdatabase

General A. Annoying

"kicked into the long grass"

We live in hope. Pity we cant kick her Wackness into 'the long grass' as well.

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AOL pinches Google sales boss

General A. Annoying

"Where do you go from Google?"

Into a more 'prestigious' job?

Of course, AOL must, one presumes, be bettering his 'package' to jump ship?

I could be wrong, of course.

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ISS crew flees flying space junk

General A. Annoying

It's only a matter of time...

before we're stuck on this ball of dirt surrounded by a shroud of our own junk.

Maybe it'll be an ideal way to solve "Global Warming".

Pah.

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Science-boosting thickie questionnaire backfires

General A. Annoying
Boffin

Lies, damned lies...

and statistics.

It's all in the way you set up the questions.

You can *prove* anything with statistics, you just have to ask the *right* (or in this case, the *wrong*) questions.

Statistics is not, IMHO, a science. Its an art. A bit like magic. Looks impressive if done well, but deep down you just KNOW it's all smoke and mirrors.

Which is just another term for Bullshit!

Goggle guy, closest statistics will come to real science.

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UK's privacy watchdog not very bitey

General A. Annoying
Alert

"not very bitey"

That's GOT to be the understatement of the year so far.

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Robbie Williams, Billy Bragg et al say downloads aren't illegal

General A. Annoying
Thumb Up

Death Throes...

of the major record labels now in progress.

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UK.gov thinks internet should be run like BSkyB

General A. Annoying
Thumb Down

Ohh, nasty!

But this is still in line with New Labour's controlling policies, so its bound to find favour with them.

Her Wackiness will love it.

Logical extension;

Your computer fitted with a reader for your ID card to 'authorise' your internet access level.

<robovoice> Papers please, Citizen.</robovoice>

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Phorm CEO clashes with Berners-Lee at Parliament

General A. Annoying

Dear Kent

Just this

Please F O A D, A S A P.

and take your company with you.

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