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* Posts by Medium Dave

104 posts • joined 26 Feb 2009

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Microsoft's new retro-flavoured logo channels Channel 4

Medium Dave

Re: THIS IS WINDOWS!!!

**BOOT** - "Arrrgh!"

**REBOOT** - "Aarrrrrgghh!!"

"You have 4 Important Updates..."

"Aaarrrrrrrrggghhh!!!"

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Medium Dave
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Why have I got a sudden urge to watch "Play school"?

FTW. :)

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Medium Dave
Windows

Why have I got a sudden urge to watch "Play school"?

Let's boot up... through the square window.

(Old? Me?)

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McAfee splats bug that knocked punters offline

Medium Dave
Coat

Typo in article:

"Misfiring definition updates are a well-known Achilles' Heel of McAfee, akin to having your tyres slashed by the local Kwik Fit, and all versions brick your PC from time to time."

There, much better.

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Dell expects slow Windows 8 demand in enterprise

Medium Dave
Holmes

Breaking news: Dell expects water to be wet

Sanest thing they've said in a while...

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Apple, Samsung brass hats' patent spat chitchat falls flat

Medium Dave

Re: So in other words

It's probably safe to say that whoever wins, it'll go to appeal and get decided further up. Despite the circus (complete with clowns) this is really just a bit of legal foreplay: Peeking at each other briefs, if you like.

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Google loads Moto Mobility cannon, fires patent shells at Apple

Medium Dave

"If they all look alike another, how's than innovative?"

So you're saying Apple haven't innovated since 2007? 'Cause the iphones all look pretty much the same.

"Siri, why are you such an uninnovative waste of space?"

"Fucked if I know, Dave."

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Medium Dave

Re: Karma.

Nokia started it in October 2009.

You're kidding, right?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Inc._litigation

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Medium Dave
Black Helicopters

I reckon it's a cunning ploy by Kodak...

...to destroy every tech company simultaneously.

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Disney sitcom says open source is insecure

Medium Dave
Mushroom

Probably best not to over think it...

Pass my Slazenger v500, would you?

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Medium Dave
Unhappy

That's Nickelodeon, not Disney...

...iCarly, Victorious etc.

It troubles me that I posses this information.

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Medium Dave
Headmaster

Re: "“Did you use open source code to save time, and the virus was hidden in it?”"

Upvoted for the sheer pedantry, but to be fair I don't check the ≈8 million lines of Chromium every time there's an update. Or even compile it myself...

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Medium Dave
Meh

I would care...

...but anyone getting software advice from a Disney kids show is probably going to end up with Windows 8 anyway.

As an aside, it it wrong that I want to smack that kid with a cricket bat?

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'G-Cloud is nothing more than a suppliers' website'

Medium Dave
Paris Hilton

I reckon ".pron" would be safe...

...Y'know, websites dedicated to pronunciation, accents and colloquialisms.

For instance:

Deep-throat.pron: discussion board for comparing guttural consonants (g, k, x etc.)

Blow-job.pron: An in-depth look at Silbo Gomero, the whistled language of the Canary Islands.

Cunning-linguists.pron: Social networking.

Two-girls-one-kup.pron: Two researches look at how language has evolved in the Polish town of Kup since its annexation from Germany.

Safe, I reckon.

Paris, because isn't it odd she doesn't pronounce it "pa'ree" like the French?

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Raspberry Pi now comes in Firefox OS flavour

Medium Dave
Trollface

Nokia still have engineers!?

I'm stunned...

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Chinese man blows off hands, builds new pair

Medium Dave
Coat

Re: A foot in it somewhere....

Sounds like a cleverdick to me.

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Medium Dave
WTF?

Lemme get this straight.

He blows off his own hands while fishing, then makes new ones (presumably with with his feet)?

I can't decide is this should be filed under 'Epic Fail' or 'Epic Win'... :s

Actually, given the "love normally" comment, I think I'll just file it under 'Epic WTF'.

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Apple lawyer: 'I promise I am not smoking crack'

Medium Dave
Facepalm

The movie of this is going to be a trilogy, I just know it.

I wonder when thr box set will be out?

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Windows 8: Microsoft's tablet-desktop still painful to swallow

Medium Dave
Devil

The mere prospect of coding on W8 fills me with a deep, nameless terror

“There are horrors beyond life's edge that we do not suspect, and once in a while man's evil prying calls them just within our range.”

-- H.P. Lovecraft, The Thing on the Doorstep Desktop

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Medium Dave
FAIL

Never thought of myself as "fearless torrenter" before...

...I may have to get a badge made up.

Having tried the RTM for a few days, all I can say is: It's still wank.

The Tifkam/desktop schizophrenia still reminds me of a digital Jekyll and Hyde (I wonder which one is the sociopathic killer?), Tifkam's eclectic collection of default factiods is still fucking annoying ("Welcome to your new operating system. Here's the weather for New York! And travel info for Paris! Hey, Julian Assange is trending! lets go over to the stock market...") and, of course, it still looks like fruit salad vomit.

And that's without going near the built-for-touch-pity-you-can't interface and the what-is-this-hierarchy-you-speak-of organisation.

It's like getting your leg humped by a hyperactive puppy that has just eaten your tax return and shat in your slipper: It's really cute unless you have to live with the little fucker.

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Judge begs Apple, Samsung to get a room, or trial will end in tears

Medium Dave
WTF?

lolwut?

"...both companies could be in trouble if they leave the decision up to the panel of ordinary folk, who certainly aren't intellectual property experts."

Would these "intellectual property experts" be the ones beavering away with shovels at the bottom of this giant hole?

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Assange's fate to be revealed at high noon

Medium Dave

He could be issued a diplomatic passport, but...

...that does not automatically grant diplomatic immunity - legally, it carries as much weight and standing as a frequent flyer card.

And if Ecuador claim he has diplomatic immunity, that doesn't give him carte blanche to do what he likes: Hollywood not withstanding, it generally only applies to work-related activities. Article 31(c) of the Vienna Convention specifically leaves him open to legal embuggerment for anything he's done outside of official Ecuadorian business.

Basically, he's stuck in their basement unless he can sneak out - although they could stick him in a crate and lable it "diplomatic baggage" - google "Umaro Dikko".

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US appeal dismissed in Dotcom case

Medium Dave
Headmaster

Re: "...in his or her ability..."

The judge was actually talking in general about the Bill of Rights at that point (follow the link, see sec. 117 of the PDF if you're really bored). It's El Reg's editing that makes it look a little androgynous.

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Medium Dave
Go

Good.

Although, in my opinion, Kim is a total arse (seriously, what sort of tosser changes his name to 'Dotcom'? ) and is probably as guilty as hell, it's nice to see the courts tell MPAA and RIAA to fuck off.

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Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Universal Remote Control review

Medium Dave
Thumb Up

Sorry, but I need this.

One of these, a long stripey scarf. and a floppy hat, and a Saturday afternoon in Dixons will actually be enjoyable - at least until the police arrive.

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Office 2013 to eat own file-format dog food

Medium Dave
Windows

MS Office? Open Standards?

It's the End Times, I tell you. £20 says the seas turn to blood before Saturday.

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Cloud support brings WikiLeaks back online

Medium Dave
Gimp

"I am in the process of finding the actual IP..."

Interesting for a spokesman to start using the singular first person. Did his friend have to go home for tea or something?

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SCO keeps dying, and dying, and dying

Medium Dave
Alert

I've seen this film...

We need to keep shooting until we run out of bullets, then chop its head off, then set fire to what's left.

We then go straight to the car and drive off without saying anything stupid like "Is it really dead?" or "I didn't think we'd make it"...

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Using copyright to avoid Freedom of Info law? Ha, ha, NICE try!

Medium Dave
Trollface

I've got a sudden urge...

...to put a FOIA request in to the BBC and grab the new season of Doctor Who early. Worth a shot, I reckon...

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Scrunched Street View spymobile spied in India

Medium Dave

Technically, it depends how it's spoken...

...which is a bit tricky when written down, granted. If the h is dropped (try saying "An 'oly cow" in your finest Terry Jones accent) it would be written as 'An holy cow' - just as you would say "I'll be there in an 'our" but write 'I'll be there in an hour'.

(I'm assuming you don't actually pronounce the h in hour...)

"A historic occasion" sounds great in received pronunciation but crap in cockney: "An historic occasion" is vice versa.

The only time to haul people up on it is when they write 'an herb'. Not because it's wrong per se, but because it means they say "an 'erb" and therefore need a good slapping on general principle.

</phonetic pedant>

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Microsoft tightens grip on OEM Windows 8 licensing

Medium Dave

Re: Inherited details

It could do, but then you have the problem of what to do when the host goes tits-up: If you can't move the VM to another box in short order you're humped (and that's assuming a particular VM normally boots onto the same host each time, which isn't a given).

They need to be able to distinguish between an install popping up on a different machine because it's been moved, and an install popping up on a different machine because it's been copied. Arsing about with embedded HW codes isn't going to help.

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Medium Dave

That's going to make virtualisation a bit tricky.

Unless there's a loop-hole for VMs, in which case it's a bit pointless.

Did Microsoft take taken over by Fisher-Price when no-one was looking?

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Ten freeware gems for new Macs

Medium Dave
Mushroom

Oh, you didn't just say that...

Duck and cover!

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Judge rejects Apple's calls for Samsung censure

Medium Dave
WTF?

Wait, what?

"I will not let any theatrics or sideshow distract us from what we are here to do."

Presumably she means other theatrics and sideshows.

Panem et circenses...

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Beak explodes at Samsung's evidence leak in Apple patent spat

Medium Dave
Childcatcher

Re: Have the courage to speak up under your own name!!

Your parents named you "Cordwainer 1"?

That's pretty messed up. No wonder you're so angry.

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IT departments are BRATTY TEENAGERS

Medium Dave
Mushroom

Re: How do BMC equate to

"it's the most useless, broken, outdated, slow and contrary piece of shit..."

And those are it's good points (or were - it's been a while).

Interesting to be told we're bratty teenagers by the outfit that's done more to promote hair-loss and alcoholism among IT staff than anyone this side of Redmond...

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Lawyers try to seize Chinese IPAD trademark

Medium Dave
Thumb Up

I need popcorn

This is getting epic.

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Google asks YouTube commenters to stand up and be counted

Medium Dave
Trollface

Open a new Reg account using the pseudonym "Sergey Brin"...

...and go for broke (It's not a proper name anyway).

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Apple seeks whopping $2.525bn Samsung patent payout

Medium Dave
Paris Hilton

Apple's logic seems to be...

...that their customers are complete morons who have no idea what they're doing. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty good point.

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Medium Dave

Re: I am reminded of Austin Powers...

You need to think back to the original Mac and Mac II. Y'know, before they invented the letter "i".

IIRC, was about '87 or '88 when they discovered the joy of trolling the courtrooms claiming somebody had stolen their mojo, and it's been downhill ever since.

But, if you thought Windows V 1 was the dog's whatsits, I'm not going to argue.

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Medium Dave
Devil

I am reminded of Austin Powers...

Dr Evil: "My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark..."

Sigh.

I remember when Apple used to make really good computers for a living, but that seems like a lifetime ago.

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Devs can't be bothered with Nokia's Windows Phone – report

Medium Dave
Holmes

Breaking news: Saddlers uninterested in fitting dead horse.

In other news we find out what the pope does on Sunday, and follow a bear into the woods.

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Windows 8 'bad' for desktop users - Gartner's one-word review

Medium Dave

True, but you normally change a lightbulb for another lightbulb.

Not a bowl of fruit salad.

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Australians receive SMS death threats

Medium Dave
Coat

You can tell it's a scam...

...a real hitman would have used bullet points!

ಠ_ಠ

(OK, I'm going.)

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Skype: Nearly half of adults don't install software updates

Medium Dave
Devil

"Joining Skype... are Adobe, Norton, and TomTom."

Not sure about TomTom but that is one hell of an unholy alliance.

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Fear not, Linux admins: There are TOOLS to help you

Medium Dave
FAIL

Bugger. I missed that.

A tool am I...

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Medium Dave
Trollface

"There are tools to help you"

The last junior tech I got lumped with was a tool, but was no help at all...

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Microsoft promises Metro developers 'fame and fortune'

Medium Dave
Windows

Anecdotes about people you know...

Eveyone I've know thinks it's a steaming pile. That's a mix of Windows, Apple and Linux users, and it's actually quite nice to see something that we can all agree on without having to settle matters with a knife-fight.

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Microsoft posts first-ever quarterly loss

Medium Dave

Re: @Medium Dave

Not everybody needs or wants to use VMs. I'm currently running Chakra Linux with XP, W7 and Ubuntu VMs but it's not a setup I'd recomend to anyone who doesn't need it - it's heavy on the drives, takes ages to keep them all updated and tuned and needs a bucketful of memory. I don't file these under "greater efficiency and reliability", I file them under "PITA but useful for work" (besides, flicking between XP and W7 VMs on a desktop cube looks cool).

Your collegue would do much better to hook hibernate up to the lid close so he can do a quick bunk at beer o'clock. You'll both have update Windows at some point, then he can laugh at you while you also update Ubuntu.

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Apple building 'tactical' data center with 'mantrap' doors

Medium Dave
Meh

This would be interesting...

...if the mantraps in question were specced out by the BOFH. None of this run-of-the-mill locking door rubbish, but proper mantraps with spikes, napalm, and an anvil suspended by a frayed, elderly rope.

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