Reading between the lines
Perhaps the crux of the story here is simply that just about every one knew Monica was transgendered save for the guy who had been sleeping with her for nineteen years. From the article:
"A friend told me that he had heard that Monica was actually a sex-changed man," recounts Jan.
Things came to a head when Jan discovered saucy messages from other blokes on his wife's computer. He said:
"I pushed her against the wall and said: Now I know the truth. Are you a man? She then announced that she was born as a boy and that she had been operated on..."
So for one thing, Jan's friend had heard on the grape vine that Monica was a sex-change, thus the secret seems to have been pretty open. For another, one might deduce that she had actually been trumpeting her transgenderedness online, as those "saucy" messages from interested gents bore out rumor.
Anyway, there's the IT angle for you. Husband's still scum though.
Incidentally, long time ago I tended bar in a gay establishment where we had weekly drag shows. One evening while hauling a case of booze up from the basement I chanced upon an incredible creature standing by the stairs. She was the spitting image of Marilyn Monroe — well, save for being much more petite — complete with gold lamé dress. While I stupidly gawked at her she smiled bashfully and lowered her gaze. Assumed she would appear later on stage but never saw her again. (Honestly I have no idea what the point of my story is, so take from it what you will.)