* Posts by Captain Hogwash

556 posts • joined 23 Feb 2009

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Assemblers were once people: My aunt did it for NASA

Captain Hogwash
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Re: cannot remember what for

Probably to make it go faster. That's what I did on a Commodore PET to get over the atrocious speed of the BASIC interpreter. First I poked a subroutine in what was largely a BASIC program. Then on a more ambitious, machine code only, program it was SYS 1024 and start banging in the hex. The improvement was so great that I had to artificially slow it down to make the game playable. That would have been somewhere in time between the zx81 and the speccy release dates.

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Don't pay for the BBC? Then no Doctor Who for you, I'm afraid

Captain Hogwash
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WTF?

Re: "would probably see an increase, because the middle class value their Radio 4"

Er, conditional access for radio? I think I might have misunderstood something. They got rid of the need to have a radio licence in 1971.

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Denmark tops European tech table, two other Scandis right behind

Captain Hogwash
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@Cuddles Re: Scandis

I didn't say or even imply that the article claimed the Netherlands is part of Scandinavia. Read my post again. The article asserted that two of Sweden, the Netherlands and Finland are Scandinavian. That assertion is incorrect as only Sweden is part of Scandinavia. As for Finland, whether it counts as part of Scandinavia or not IS very clearly defined as I believe a later poster has elaborated.

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Captain Hogwash
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Re: Scandis

Neither the Netherlands nor Finland are Scandinavian countries. The Scandinavian countries are Denmark, Norway and Sweden, all of which are also Nordic, as is Finland. The Netherlands is neither Scandinavian nor Nordic. This is all basic stuff which has been out there for a long time yet news sites keep making the same damned mistake.

Disclaimer: I have no Scandinavian or Nordic connections.

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Apple design don Jony Ive: Build-your-own phone is BOLLOCKS

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Alternatively

When did you ever hear of a cult fostering individuality?

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Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Truman

I had the idea that this would actually be some sort of Truman Show/Capricorn One hybrid. I certainly don't believe this mission will happen as currently being touted.

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BBC: SOD the scientific consensus! Look OUT! MEGA TSUNAMI is coming

Captain Hogwash
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I thought we'd all agreed...

...that science programming was over at the BBC after the Horizon strand's assertion via Danny Wallace that "Chimps are people too".

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Apple LIGHTSABERS to feature in The Force Awakens

Captain Hogwash
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Jesus in a vacuum tube

They look like those decorative neon lightbulbs with Jesus inside that were produced in the thirties but were still popular in Irish holiday lets in the seventies. Surely someone else can see what I mean?

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Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'

Captain Hogwash
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Joke

"failed to meet standards ... arising from hairy arms or dry skin"

So the users were wearing it wrong?

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Vint Cerf: Everything we do will be ERASED! You can't even find last 2 times I said this

Captain Hogwash
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I don't see why he's so concerned.

GCHQ/NSA will take care of it.

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Amazing, cool, wow: Humans naturally use POSITIVE words, and that is GOOD

Captain Hogwash
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re: load mouthed

eeuuwww

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Captain Hogwash
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Re: Note to the first three commentards

Or even a moderatrix.

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California Uber Alles: Google wants to become the World Privacy Court

Captain Hogwash
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Deja vu

“wars will no longer exist. But there will be...Rollerball.”

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Snowden leaks LEGALISED GCHQ's 'illegal' dragnet spying, rules British tribunal

Captain Hogwash
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Big Brother

Just add this to the list I guess.

war is peace

freedom is slavery

ignorance is strength

Illegal is legal (as long as we let you know about it)

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Captain Hogwash
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Re: Your right to privacy

"If you are the subject of a lawful investigation you have no right to privacy, nor should you expect it."

The point here is that they are hoovering up communications data of everyone. Not just the subjects of lawful investigations.

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Captain Hogwash
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Unhappy

Heads, they win...

tails, we lose.

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NSA raided hackers' troves of stolen data: report

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Yet Another Anon Cluetard

Hi Matt. Fancy a big shiny spoon?

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Captain Hogwash
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Re: Lovely Horse

That's almost certainly where the code name comes from. Because "I can get this."

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Kill Facebook's creepy on-by-default Yelp 'killer' Place Tips – your guide

Captain Hogwash
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Unhappy

Re: "family pressure"

Some people think Facebook is THE INTERNET.

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Snowden reveals LEVITATION technique of Canada’s spies

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Golly Gosh

They prefer dry ginger ale. A different thing altogether.

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YouTube flushes Flash for future flicks

Captain Hogwash
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WTF?

Why beta version of Firefox?

35.01 supports html5 video with no problem but, due to this weird Youtube decision, you have to say explicitly on another page that you want html5.

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EE squashes Orange UK: France Telecom's been 'destroying it for years'

Captain Hogwash
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I expected...

more navel gazing in the article.

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FERTILISER DOOM warning! PESKY humans set to WIPE selves out AGAIN

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Who's Big Al?

He has a notoriously low tulip threshold.

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Saudi Arabia to flog man 1,000 times for insulting religion on Facebook

Captain Hogwash
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Re: the UK would still be in the dark ages

There's some evidence we are heading back there.

I like your post. Upvoted.

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NHS refused to pull 'unfit for purpose' Care.data leaflet

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Nectar cards and loyalty cards

Not everybody chooses to have these. Also, I note your reluctance to share your identity.

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Ford recalls SUVs … to fix the UI

Captain Hogwash
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Go

Re: Yeah, they're dangerous, those red ones.

That's why they're red - to warn you of the danger.

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YEAR of the PENGUIN: A Linux mobile in 2015?

Captain Hogwash
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Re: deleting your ex's number.

You're a brave soul. Much better to keep it in your blacklist and remove the risk of answering what your memory will soon reduce to an unidentified number.

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GOOGLE is COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Children under 12 should be playing

They should be earning their keep being stuffed up chimneys surely?

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BLAST-OFF! BOAT FREE launch at last. Orion heads for SPAAAAACE

Captain Hogwash
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Re: their pint only contains 16 fluid ounces

I guess that explains why a barman in Oakland responded to my request for a pint of Newcastle Brown (only place I ever saw it on draught) by asking if I'd like a large or a small pint. It seemed rather odd at the time.

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Apple knob refusenik Sir Jony Ive handed award - for talking BOLLOCKS

Captain Hogwash
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Headmaster

wrist fondler

Do you mean wrist fondlee? Surely the wrist fondler is the wearer of the device, not the device itself.

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Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Marvin - Remember it's film version, not the book, radio or TV version

But the one from the TV series DID appear in the film while they were queuing for something or other.

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Amazon: Put our ALWAYS ON MICROPHONE in your house, please. WHAT?

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Sort of like a quite [sic] friend who's really good at pub quizzes.

My friends already have me for all that.

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‘For the love of Pete, America, learn about decent chocolate’

Captain Hogwash
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Joke

Re: it tasted like motor oil

How do you know?

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Really... an iKeyfob? Apple continues war on fanbois' pockets

Captain Hogwash
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Re: I can lock all the doors

It's the only way to live.

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Take THAT, hated food! It's OVER, tedious chewing! Soylent strikes back with version 1.1

Captain Hogwash
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Re: "We think Soylent 1.1 is a solid first step"

There doing it in bar form now?

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The Geek Chorus: 'Give MARK ZUCKERBERG all the DATA he wants!'

Captain Hogwash
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Wtf does this have to do with socialism or the Internationale?

I think it's about who owns the means of production.

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Be your own Big Brother: Monitoring your manor, the easy way

Captain Hogwash
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Roll your own

Cheapo Chinese Android tablet bought out of curiosity and hitherto no use found for plus ancient netbook with broken screen (being binned by my sister) plus Zoneminder and some webspace does the intrusion detection well enough. Anything more is just an indulgence (although Zoneminder is a pig to set up.)

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5.5in iPhone 6, iWatch hypegasm: What will Apple reveal - BE the rumour

Captain Hogwash
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A new iPhone (and maybe iPad) which is slightly faster...

...TO THE MAX!!!

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Ferraris, Zondas and ... er, a bike with a 500hp V10 under the saddle

Captain Hogwash
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Re: removing complication

Quite so. Viper powered unicycles are the way to go.

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IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

Captain Hogwash
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You're right

"Perhaps the real reason for ensuring that alert messages are dull is that walking the dog, reaping the corn and churning the milk are actually yet more euphemisms for disgusting sexual practices of which I am blissfully unaware."

A lot of people are rumoured to go "walking the dog" after dark at one of our local beauty spots.

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What could possibly go wrong? Banks could provide ID assurance for Gov.UK – report

Captain Hogwash
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Facepalm

Banks? Trust?

Those who don't learn from history etc.

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Intel goes high-fashion with wearable supermodel

Captain Hogwash
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Damn!

Beaten by an AC.

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CNN 'tech analyst' on NAKED CELEBS: WHO IS this mystery '4chan' PERSON?

Captain Hogwash
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Stop

Re: "Here in the UK..."

...which looks like this: pa##word.

Or so we've been told by disembodied American voices for a couple of decades now.

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Siri: Helpful personal assistant or SERIAL APP KILLER?

Captain Hogwash
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Re: someone else's program

Quite.

Siri, recommend an alternative to Siri.

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MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS

Captain Hogwash
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Headmaster

Re: cannibalism

Mortal pains!

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Best shot: Coffee - how do you brew?

Captain Hogwash
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TEA!

TEA!

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Microsoft and HTC are M8s again: New One mobe sports WinPhone

Captain Hogwash
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Re: Surely if HTC had any sense

I see what you did there.

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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Captain Hogwash
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Re: umm..

To get away from the chicken, er, plucker?

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Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people

Captain Hogwash
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Coat

Re: self powering flash-lights

Autocorrect?

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