* Posts by Captain Hogwash

635 posts • joined 23 Feb 2009

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Cisco's purple princesses gush workplace joy

Captain Hogwash

They're being duped

...into believing they're expressing their individuality whereas in reality they are slowly adopting the uniform of S.H.A.D.O. Slinky tinfoil catsuits to be encouraged next as Cisco continues to monitor alien transmissions.

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Pubs good for the soul: Official

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Re: Larger

"It could be a golden or a blonde. However, judging by the lack of head it's probably not."

I do like a larger blonde with plenty of head.

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GCHQ spies quashed this phone encryption because it was too good against snoopers

Captain Hogwash
Holmes

Re: "thought that was the intent of Western policy, but perhaps I have been niave..."

"Power is not a means; it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power."

George Orwell

1984

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Boffins: There's a ninth planet out there – now we just need to find it

Captain Hogwash

Re: Nibiru...

The UFO people? I really don't see why members of the United Fruitcake Outlet would be interested in astronomy.

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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

Captain Hogwash

Re: "Whatever that means"

The recent scent of joss sticks and the sound of whale-song around the offices of The Register?

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Free Wi-Fi for the NHS, promises health secretary Jeremy Hunt

Captain Hogwash
Pint

Re: Your just a complainer who jumps to their keyboard

I don't care about the man but, yes. Yes I do want the woman sitting next to me in the waiting room to be watching porn on the hospital wifi.

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Top cops demand access to the UK's entire web browsing history

Captain Hogwash
Facepalm

Knights in rusty armour

"...It is highly intrusive for this data to be retained just in case we commit a crime in the future..."

Just in case we are suspected of committing a crime surely?

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Cyber cop: Snoopers' Charter tag is offensive. Maybe we need a 'yes to snooping' tickbox?

Captain Hogwash

Tick box?

That was mentioned but not explained. What would the tick box be for?

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'Govt will not pass laws to ban encryption' – Baroness Shields

Captain Hogwash

Re: Where are we getting "banning encryption" from?

Mandatory key disclosure doesn't guarantee that a message can be read by the authorities. The penalty for non-disclosure might be significantly less onerous than that for any crime revealed to have been committed if the key is disclosed. Guess what people will do under such circumstances.

Encryption circumventing malware? Maybe.

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Ex-Microsoft craft ale buffs rattle tankard for desktop brewery

Captain Hogwash

Flying Lion

Did anyone else first read that as Flying Low? Made me wonder about the quality of what comes out of the tap.

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Terror, terror everywhere: Call the filter police, there's a madman (or two) in town

Captain Hogwash
Holmes

Government crackdown on internet freedom.

More on that story later. In other news: Government hopes £30billion of investment will come out of Chinese president Xi Jinping four-day state visit to UK.

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Captain Hogwash

So that's what Ned Flanders was talking about. Thanks for clearing it up.

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Child abuse, drug sales, terrorism fears: Why cops halted a library's Tor relay ... for a month

Captain Hogwash

@PeterGriffin. Is that your real name or did you make a conscious choice to use the name of the primary buffoon in an animated sitcom? Just asking.

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US librarians defy cops, Feds – and switch on their Tor exit node

Captain Hogwash

Nuts, Iowa, etc.

They're from outer space. They just work in Iowa.

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Robots, schmobots. The Rise of the Machines won't leave humanity on the dole

Captain Hogwash
Unhappy

Re: care homes

I'm looking forward to getting my backside wiped by some bitter, resentful so-and-so who thinks they ought to be a rock star. Assuming I can keep my job from robotisation long enough to be able to pay for the privilege of course.

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Captain Hogwash
Thumb Up

Re: The Rhoomba

I'd love to see a Roomba dance the Rhumba.

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Brown kid with Arab name arrested for bringing home-made clock to school

Captain Hogwash
Facepalm

Re: turn our electronics on for verification

Security drone: Please turn on you electronic device for verification.

Suicidally inclined Ne'er do well: With pleasure.

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The ONE WEIRD TRICK which could END OBESITY

Captain Hogwash

Re: Plates matter

Area alone wouldn't result in a very good approximation though. Pancakes, which those strange transatlantic types consider to be a breakfast food, can be stacked much higher than peas, which I consider to be a breakfast food.

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BAN the ROBOT WHORES, says robot whore expert: 'These AREN'T BARBIES'

Captain Hogwash
Meh

Sexism?

I've seen this on several online publications today. This woman appears to assume that such devices will be produced only to satisfy the needs of heterosexual males. I suspect that models will be available for all tastes and genders (if any at all are.) For the record, I have no interest in using these things for their intended purpose if any are ever built. However I would be happy to contribute code for appropriate remuneration.

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Heigh ho, oh no! Politically correct panto dumps Snow White’s dwarfs

Captain Hogwash
WTF?

Re: "it's only ever manufactured in countries predominantly peopled with whites"

Such as Nepal, India, Pakistan, Bhutan to name but four.

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HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

Captain Hogwash

Re: There's no arguing about aircon temp

There's rather more to this than clothing weight. Everyone here is happily wearing t-shirts but I'm freezing with a jumper and jacket on. As for context switching, if you are a software engineer then it's a way of life and doesn't require the help of a change of clothes.

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Octogenarian accused of performing sex act with a SHRUBBERY

Captain Hogwash

Re: Really...

Consent should not be assumed. Unless it was the same species as the singing bush from The Three Amigos I'd imagine the shrub was unable to give consent.

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Apple and Samsung are plotting to KILL OFF the SIM CARD - report

Captain Hogwash

Re: But your pessimism is unjustified

In my experience with technology companies pessimism is never unjustified.

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Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

Captain Hogwash
Joke

Re: Excessive

NASA = Norfolk Area Space Agency?

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Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chopstick-collapsing Spam musubi

Captain Hogwash

prepped in advance

So you're saying they're good cold? That sounds ideal.

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Apple Music available on Sonos by end of this year

Captain Hogwash

Re: Sonos speakers don't have an input cable

But the Sonos Connect does.

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Indiana Jones whips Bond in greatest movie character poll

Captain Hogwash

Some great suggestions from commentards

But the only character who impressed me so much as a boy in the seventies that I asked my mum to cut my hair like that was Spock.

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FLICK my FLINT and SNIFF my TREE on the streets of Naples

This post has been deleted by a moderator

DON’T add me to your social network, I have NO IDEA who you are

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Ringing birds is best left to the RSPB.

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The Martian: Matt Damon sciences the sh*t out of the red planet

Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: I'm hoping for Castaway on Mars.

...with Zooey Deschanel playing the Amanda Donahoe part.

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Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

Captain Hogwash
Meh

Re: whats on TV ?

broadcaster.youth.strand@download.festival probably.

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Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: fictional

Presidio Modelo

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Captain Hogwash

Re: Two words.

Just what I was thinking. If this is deemed a success by LeicPol then it will be rolled out to the rest of Prison Island.

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MIT bods' digital economy babblings are tosh. C'mon guys, Economics 101

Captain Hogwash

Re: Serving others becomes more rewarding and less like a chore

Downvote all you like but for those of an introverted nature this would be hell under any circumstances. There's a reason people are attracted to or repelled from certain job types you know.

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Captain Hogwash
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Serving others becomes more rewarding and less like a chore

I can't imagine any circumstances where that would be true.

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Spanish TV journo leaves subordinates cowering after verbal shoeings

Captain Hogwash

Re: failing to adequately address the issue of her cleavage

What precisely are these failings?

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Obama issues HTTPS-only order to US Federal sysadmins

Captain Hogwash
Holmes

Re: So we cant trust HTTPS then.

You can't trust anything or anyone.

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FBI: Apple and Google are helping ISIS by offering strong crypto

Captain Hogwash

Re: Dear ThreeLetterAgencies. Fuck You.

> ruling classes

There's the problem right there. That should a concept should exist at all.

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High-flying LOHAN fan raises ale-filled tankard

Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: Beer from a straight glass? Heresy!

Regardless of the relative merits of whisky from Scotland or whiskey from anywhere else, the latter was in production before the former. Therefore your use of imitation is erroneous.

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Android M's Now on Tap cyber-secretary is like Clippy on Class A drugs

Captain Hogwash

Re: Upgrades !

You're expecting companies who make their money by selling hardware to adopt practices which will slow the rate at which their customers buy new hardware? Good luck with that. Google doesn't care as long as you continue to use their services, which you probably will if you're already using them. By the way, love the handle.

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Captain Hogwash

Re: Android M will also include much finer user controls as to what apps can access

+1 for CyanogenMod on an S3. I bought one specifically for this purpose. The phone was rooted and the new OS installed within half an our of arrival and I've no regrets about it. Also, put F-Droid on there and don't install the Google apps and you're as close to keeping the Chocolate Factory out of your business as you can be while still on an Android phone.

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BRAIN STORM: Nine mislaid cerebra found near railway line in New York

Captain Hogwash
Pint

Brainstorm, here I go...

...

And I don't wanna turn android

(Body of mine)

You gotta help me avoid that

...

Cheers Nik

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WOODEN computer chips reveal humanity's cyber elf future

Captain Hogwash

Re: This is so exciting

Yes, it's plane to see that this is an idea that could bear fruit.

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Make Adama proud: Connect your Things wisely, cadet

Captain Hogwash

Re: you probably should watch that one

Sadly I can't suspend disbelief for long enough to watch any TV series of a fictional narrative nature. I can just about manage a standalone film but if I have to either come back next week for the next bit or binge on an entire series at once then there's no chance. That's for everything - not just space opera. But others are free to enjoy whatever shows they like without condemnation from me.

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Captain Hogwash
Pint

Re: Admiral Adama

And thanks for the down votes all those people who think everyone should watch the same TV shows as them.

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Captain Hogwash

Re: Admiral Adama

Thanks for the explanation djack.

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Captain Hogwash

Admiral Adama

A quick search has turned up the result that this is a character from something called Battlestar Galactica. Would someone mind explaining his relevance here to someone who doesn't watch TV space opera shows?

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Adult FriendFinder hack EXPOSES MEELLIONS of MEMBERS

Captain Hogwash
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Does she like pina coladas?

I wish I could upvote this many times.

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City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

Captain Hogwash

Re: What was the registration of your father's car?

His first car, his previous car or his red car?

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