105 posts • joined 13 Feb 2009
Cortana... "Powered" by Bing ?
"Cortana, what's the weather forecast for today ?"
"When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box"
(Yes, I've had some strange results back from Bing, why do you ask ?)
We're also forgetting something rather fundamental that's happening in just over a year's time... A little something called a "General Election". By next April, the current mob of idiots in charge will be demob happy, and if they don't get back in, it's a problem for another mob of idiots anyway.
Re: Rise of the Furniture
That assumes that the chair hasn't already injected you with some sort of poison that paralyses you and slowly dissolves your innards.
Something to think about when you go to bed tonight - sleep tight...!
Re: Did no-one else think of...
"The Master's furniture line in Terror of the Autons"
You beat me to it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXrAK6sUZ_0
Are they running on XP Embedded ?
According to Microsoft's own Product Support Lifecycle pages, XP Embedded continues on Extended Support until the first Patch Tuesday in 2016:
Everything else (Home, Media Centre, Tablet, Pro, x64 etc) goes EOL next month.
Re: It was DNS wot dunnit for me
I lost all connectivity while this happened, not just DNS - couldn't connect to anything by IP address, ping didn't work etc, but things were back to normal before lunchtime.
They're his initials (middle name David) and he signs off all his tweets that way.
Re: Flat pack...?
Not to mention three separate sets of instructions, none of which actually match the parts list or the item you're trying to build.
Have A Break...
...just not a line break.
Re: They seem to have stopped calling me
I had my very first one last week - I decided to try a different tactic. No whistles, no swearing, no delaying tactics, just make them feel very, VERY uncomfortable.
After arguing with the fellow ("I know you're not from Microsoft, and I have that on good authority from someone quite senior in the company") and trashing his "bona fides" ("So, you've got a bunch of low-end brain dump qualifications and your MCSE isn't even up to date"), I went for the jugular and questioned his integrity...
"You know, your mother must be so disappointed in you, putting your knowledge and expertise to criminal use. Why don't you just put the phone down, walk out of that call centre and find yourself an HONEST job ?"
That sent him right over the top, and resulted in a Davros-like tirade. Imagine Spike Milligan or Peter Sellers screaming "Do not anger me, Doctor ! I can destroy you - and this MISERABLE, INSIGNIFICANT PLANET !!!" in a fake Punjabi accent and you get the general idea.
"Oh, by the way - free clue for you, Skippy !"
I stuck the phone next to my Mac Mini, and turned it on.
I was half expecting him to call back, claiming to be from Apple, but I suspected it would take him a while to calm down. The OpenBSD VM running XFCE would be ideal for that call... "No, I've got a little black mouse in the top left-hand corner of my screen, is that wrong ?"
Re: its all over facebook as well
No doubt some idiot will go wandering around their house with a lighter in one hand and a can of something flammable in the other, looking for spiders... and the headline in the next morning's Daily Fail will be "EVIL FALSE WIDOW SPIDERS BURN DOWN FAMILY HOME"
Re: Too Lazy
Even where they have got infrastructure in place, they still don't get it right.
Their local cab is right outside my flat, less than 20 feet away, but apparently I'm outside of their cable service area.
Every address on my postcode is inside the cable service area, except for two. My flat, and the flat below it. The flat above mine, the three flats on the other side of the block and the houses to either side ARE in the cable service area, despite being even further away from the cab.
It's not a wayleave issue, or anything like that. They're just convinced that my address isn't near enough to a cabinet to provide service.
Not even sending them a photo of the cab in question, along with a note saying "this was taken from my front window and I know for a fact it's serving other flats in the building", was enough to convince them. Computer says no, and that's the end of it.
Re: @t.est You can't win
Windows 7 has PSR (Problem Steps Recorder) built in (psr.exe) or you could try ScreenRecorder for XP/Vista - http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/magazine/2009.03.utilityspotlight2.aspx?pr=blog
Re: Favorite office pranks
Back in the days of Windows 3.1, one smart-ass user decided to play tricks with a colleague, and changed her screen saver. During the middle of a phone call, Marquee kicked in with a message nobody ever wants to see... "HARD DRIVE FAILURE PLEASE CONTACT CHRIS FOR ASSISTANCE".
I heard the scream from the other end of the corridor, and the boss-man sent me to investigate. After getting the lady to calm down, I worked who the perp was - okay pal, two can play at that game, and I'm MUCH better at it than you...
The offender switched on his PC after lunch, and discovered that his desktop theme was Barbie Pink. We're talking glow-in-the-dark, nuclear pink, no pastel shades or anything that subtle. And I'd done the whole [don't load] thing in CONTROL.INI so he couldn't change it back.
Imagine the scene: Someone has VIOLATED your desktop in the worst way imaginable, and the Control Panel is completely devoid of icons so you can't fix it...
I heard THAT scream from the other side of the building, but I made him wait until the end of the day before normality was restored.
Messing with their tiny minds
I had a spate of calls from one bunch of clowns, and decided to have a little fun with them the next time they caled...
Me: Name, Rank, Serial Number.
Me: Name, Rank, Serial Number.
Them: Excuse me?
Me: You heard. Name, Rank, Serial Number. NOW!
Them: I don't understand.
Me: Call is now being traced... Please stand by... <Holds down star key on phone>
I haven't heard from them since. Maybe they've put me on their "NUTTERS - DO NOT CALL" list ?
Re: I would have been very surprised if either company had objected.
Hershey's: We've heard about that "cocoa powder" stuff.
Given the shower that we currently have in power, the shower that were in power previously, and the shower that want power but should under no circumstances be allowed to have it because they'll only cock things up, the best net score is likely to be a negative one.
In previous General Elections, people voted for the party that they felt best represented their interests. In 2015, I fear that people will vote for the party that will cause them the least harm.
Re: Instead of an elected Government ...
One day, you're BFF's with the vigilantes, next day they're riding you out of town on a rail...
Re: You know what the data is don't you
Or an enormous scan of his to-do list ?
Hire better defence lawyer
Re: I wouldn't trust *any* ISP
"and (b) how much more of a tit will Cameron look then"
Hey, if he looks more like a tit, maybe he'll get filtered out then ?
Laws of unintended consequences...
How long before the malware authors start copying these and creating ransomware pop-ups ? Not long, I reckon.
I wonder what the churn was on wholesale connections...
I had a Be Wholesale line with Andrews & Arnold - at the time, Be was the only way to get ADSL2+ on my exchange, and there was no sign of Infinity. As soon as I heard that Be was heading to Sky, three words went through my mind...
Eject ! Eject ! EJECT !!!
I immediately placed a regrade order in with AAISP and switched back to a BT connection. Sure, I could have waited, but I've seen what happens when small ISP's get taken over by crappy corporates, and it isn't pretty.
Re: I have found my next ISP
Come on in... the water's lovely, if a bit pricey :-)
The BBC have linked to that page in their filtering Q and A at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23403068, stating "Some smaller ISPs have said they will not impose filters".
No doubt some nitwit will translate that to "AAISP is a haven for evil doers". The reality is that they expect you to take responsibility for your own safety online, and take whatever precautions you consider necessary to achieve it.
Case in point: My home network is protected by a commercial-grade firewall, I use encryption at rest and in transit, and I have access to VPN's, proxies and remote servers around the planet for situations when I need a non-UK IP address (think "checking if my employer's network is reachable from certain network locations" rather than "I can't stream TV show X from the UK"). Should I get myself a dormant volcano hideout, a monocle, a white suit and a cat to go with that lot, because I must have something to hide ?
Re: The cynical amongst us
"Follow the money, I bet it leads back to Tory HQ."
Or someone with LOTS of shares in companies that sell web filtering products.
Natural ECM ?
Not so much "Wild Weasel", more "Wild Weevil" ?
Re: Is worse than...
In my last job, it was considered that all of the student labs had a "Perv's Corner", where such users would congregate. The labs were later equipped with cameras, and I made sure that each of these little corners had good camera coverage to discourage such activity.
It was quite funny, watching students wander in wearing baseball caps - and in one case a crash helmet - to avoid being identified. I'd just check the logs, wander over to the lab and poke my head round the door... "$USERNAME, stop that - you'll go blind !"
Peer group pressure is a wonderful thing in these situations - every pair of eyes in the room would gravitate to Perv's Corner. FAR more fun than a firewall, but no doubt that kind of behaviour would get me in hot water nowadays for harassment.
Another one made the mistake of printing out lots of dirty pics to a lab printer, which happened to be out of paper. Unfortunately for him, my boss spotted that the print queue was building up, and he popped a ream of paper in the tray... Ooops. "Next time, go and buy yourself a magazine. I hear they're in colour these days".
If you have physical access to the system console, all bets are off. Same goes for any system, really.
And you can still turn VMS into a security Swiss cheese if the system manager is incompetent or malicious. My last employer hired in security consultants from DEC to audit a VMS machine, after the previous system manager had let his mates play "Admin Wars" in SYSTEM. That box was such a mess, they ended up retiring it a year early and they transferred all the users to a new Alpha, auditing every utility and command procedure before installing it on the new system.
If that wasn't enough to contend with, some bright spark had the idea of letting IT students have root access to a Red Hat machine with internet access. You can probably guess how badly THAT went.
Re: Milton Jones
Well, anything has to be an improvement over the scripts for this season, that's for sure. About the only episode I enjoyed was "The Crimson Horror", and that's only because they played it for laughs.
Did anyone else think that "Nightmare in Silver" felt like a recycled Star Trek episode ? Change "Doctor" to "Picard", "TARDIS" to "Enterprise", "Cybermen" to "Borg", "Cyber Planner" to "Locutus" and "Chess Game" to "Geometric Puzzle" - et voila, you've got "The Best of Both Worlds", only with fewer photon torpedoes and tractor beams - did anyone notice that the Cyber Gun even sounded like a phaser when Clara pulled the trigger ?
Re: New Dr - "might as well have cast a sperm in the role"
If they pick another young actor, how long before he/she starts asking the Cybermen for a Farley's Rusk ?
Re: It Used to be the Unix/VMS Divide
I went to a former Poly that had several VAXen, both VMS and Ultrix, and later on some DECstations.
One of the Unix crowd once told me "MIPS will kill VAX, and Ultrix will piss on the grave of VMS".
Way to go, Skippy - batting average of 0.0 !
Cancel the flowers, it isn't quite dead yet !
VAX support has already ended, Alpha will be supported for "at least" another 2 or 3 years, and current Integrity systems will be supported until "at least" 2020. All that letter confirms is that they won't be supporting OpenVMS on Poulson-based Integrity servers.
The hourglass may be running down, but there's still a little bit of sand in the top half.
NT wasn't so much the bastard brother of VMS, more the weird nephew you only see at Christmas and even that's too often.
Cutler designed the OS, then the marketing people got involved and the project was thus doomed.
And what the hell did VMS have to do with that ?
COMPUTING HISTORY FAIL
(Maybe El Reg needs a green-screen terminal icon for these "get off my lawn, junior" moments ?)
$9m for a wedding and a $2.5m clean-up bill ?
That's almost "throw another endangered animal on the barbie" territory !
Seems they haven't improved since I left...
They messed up a tariff change, and charged me for data at the wrong rate. A bill that should have been about £45 for the month came in at £220, and they seriously messed me about - claiming that the bill had been sent to be calculated when it hadn't, promising me calls from supervisors that never occurred, and repeatedly failing to record notes on my account when I called to complain. Eventually I managed to get the Executive Office to look into my complaint, and they refunded me to the tune of £200.
As soon as the money was back in my bank account, I cancelled my accounts with them, and didn't even bother to ask for PAC codes - I was so disgusted by the way I had been treated, I didn't even bother to port my numbers. I don't trust the other networks with a direct debit either, so I've been PAYG ever since.
Didn't our parents say the same about us ?
I'm reminded of Terry Pratchett's "Reaper Man", and the song "We Shall Overcome*".
* A song which, in various languages, is common on every known world in the multiverse. It is always sung by the same people, viz, the people who, when they grow up, will be the people who the next generation sing "We Shall Overcome" at.
Can't do the time ? Don't tweet the crime !
If I had a pound for every time I heard one of our users say "but I only thought my mates could see it", I wouldn't need to do the lottery.
...all those billions in the bank, and he still can't get a decent haircut !
I wonder if this was the date the Mayans had in mind for the end of civilisation as we know it...
"...and which is not sergeant-Detritus-proof"
Fondleslab: Jus' say 'AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH'
Re: *IT as in
"...they made the ICT technician redundant and they know I can set the clock on the old VCR's"
21st-century RAM Pack Wobble ?
I didn't like the idea of the SD card sticking out of the case, so I bought a pIO adaptor from ModMyPi and used a MicroSD card instead:
This doesn't stick out of the case, but you have to open the case up to change the card.
Re: The UK Civil Service has a code governing honesty?
"Don't get caught" ?
Re: Sad day for me
Cancel the flowers, they're not dead !
I'm with A&A and I'm affected by this as my line is a Be Wholesale connection. BT couldn't offer me ADSL2+ until last year, and the Infinity RFS date for my exchange has just gone back another three months.
I'm seriously thinking about switching the connection back to BT, even though it means a possible loss of speed and forgoing Annex M - I've seen what happens to small ISPs when one of the bigger boys takes over, and it's NOT pretty.
The only man to turn the role down twice...
Geoffrey Bayldon ?
It's just an outage, people !
If it was something more permanent, then librarians and teachers all over the world would be dancing round burning effigies of Jimbo Wales and singing "Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead".
Re: Hotmail launched in July 1996...
Same here - pity I let it lapse !
Hotmail launched in July 1996...
...and Microsoft took them over in 1997. I make that sixteen years, not fifteen.
Oh, how the mighty are fallen...
This year: Sorry lads, we have to sell one of the jets.
Next year: Sorry lads, you'll have to jog down the runway, flap your arms and make whooshing noises. That's as close as you'll get to a jet now.
"JamesTKirk1701 unfriended GenericKlingon00807013 with a photon torpedo"
If it means we can contact more advanced life forms, then maybe they can help explain the financial models of Facebook, Twitter etc ?
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