432 posts • joined 13 Feb 2009
Re: It's not "Help Desk"
I've done ITIL. Whatever we call it, users call it "Help Desk" and are irritated by other names.
Call it Service Desk, call it Advisory, slap a fancy title on it, it's still the Help Desk to the end user, because they want "Help", not "Service".
I once got my wrists slapped for asking if that was "service" in the way that bulls "service" cows.
Maybe they took exception because someone posted a picture of bovine-on-bovine action into the e-mail thread, I don't know...
Re: It Bodes
And does having a flat battery count as "failure to produce valid documents" ?
Re: It Bodes
"So you have a copy of your license on your smartphone, wow, except someone has nicked your phone and their mate who looks a bit like you is now flashing your ID when stopped by Police. That's going to come out well isn't it?"
The same smartphone that's probably full of malware, so not only is it sending off your 2FA codes for on-line banking to its new Russian masters, they've got a copy of one of your ID documents...
"Yes, Comerade Barclays, I am wanting £20,000 loan, £250,000 mortgage and £2,000 overdraft all at once".
Oh boy, yet more "Mystery Meat" Updates...
One problem I see with bundling patches like this (apart from forcing us to chow down on the obvious GWX and telemetry "shit sandwich") is that it will be FAR more difficult - if not impossible - to remove individual patches.
Sometimes, somebody has something installed on their machine that chokes on an update (usually something obscure, or Crystal Reports), and being able to pull that update for those individuals can get them working again reasonably quickly - at least until the update (or the offending app) is fixed. Rolling back an entire patch cluster could be a whole different matter.
It's also not uncommon for companies to outsource e-mail marketing to third parties,who may turn out to be spammers, or who outsource to spammers themselves.
Kelloggs made that mistake, but when I pointed out that I hadn't signed up for "My Special K" e-mails, they cleaned up their lists and I haven't had a single spam from them since.
Saga, on the other hand, did not. They actually admitted to using the services of a well-known spammer-for-hire, and that they had "listwashed" me with said spammer-for-hire - which has since resulted in even more spam for pensions, equity release and funeral plans. Not to mention even more spam from Saga !
An organisation that can't treat me with respect right now is NOT going to benefit from me in old age or death, that's for sure.
Re: Sticky platters
"I had that quite a lot with some Convergent MiniFrames with Micropolis disks. Ended up having a rubber mallet in the toolkit. Obviously frustrated kick could work too, but had the risk of being too hard, or causing other damage".
Part of my Y2K preparations included "Retire any old clunker still running with Micropolis disks", the savings on power and aircon alone made that one viable.
Dealing with "stiction" problems on the bigger DEC RA-series and Fujitsu Eagles needed something more substantial than a rubber mallet, and I once "cold-booted" a MicroVAX II quite literally by giving it a swift kick !
20x ? That was probably danger money !
I didn't get paid any extra, as nobody thought I needed to be on-call - but I checked all of my systems and everything rolled over as expected. There was nothing I could have done anyway, as the Estates boys decided to lock up and chain the doors of any buildings that were unoccupied over the Christmas break.
A neighbouring institution decided to shut everything down, and fared worse. The Y2K bug didn't wave antennae in their direction either, but lots of kit was taken out by a lightning strike.
Moral of the story: Mother Nature can mess up your DR plans in ways you can't possibly imagine.
Re: "East Lothian Council [..] is highly unlikely to do so"
If they've produced a "justiication" document, you can bet they've done it already, and someone's looking to cover their arses.
Re: Talktalk: AOL for the UK
Some of my friends signed up to AOL for two years to get a free Playstation 3, despite me saying "Run Away, Terribly Fast".
They discovered the hard way that two years is a long time to put up with a piss-poor internet connection.
Re: providing free upgrades to customers.
What's the betting that some of these choices locked customers in to a new 12 month contract, so they're not going anywhere without paying out a chunk of cash ?
12 months of free crap is still 12 months of crap.
Re: Now I understand ...
"I think I've been doing DevOps for 25 years"
So when the HR drones start asking for 10 years+ of DevOps experience on entry-level, we'll be suitably qualified <sigh>.
Re: "Jack of all trades"
I also fit the JOAT description - or as someone else described me, "Designated Grown-Up for Projects that Need One".
Someone else said "You're like that five-year-old kid that every Evil Overlord should employ, to make sure that their plans don't have inherent flaws".
I may not have the depth of knowledge that "Mission Specialists" bring to a team, but a broad overview means that I tend to spot flaws they don't. It also means that if a project is missing vital knowledge or experience, I know who to approach to fix that.
Bloody hell, does that mean I've also been doing DevOps most of my career ? Ewww.
When I hear the word "culture" I reach for my revolver
The nearest some of these people ever get to "culture" is a yeast infection.
"The idea is that you never want to go through it twice (even, that if you have to go through it twice you endanger the project) so you make sure you know exactly what you're doing before you do it rather than trying to wing it".
If making a change twice endangers a project, then your CAB processes are probably the least of your worries.
Some companies do go over the top with their CAB processes, in others I've seen "rockstar coders" overdose on alphabet soup and crap out code that should never have gone near production environments. Striking the right balance isn't easy, and not many folks get it right.
Oh, and I don't care what you call it - "DevOps" or "Agile" doesn't mean you've got a note from your mum that excuses you from PE^H^Hactually testing stuff.
Re: Not quite these distances, but still a PITA
An old story, from early on in my career...
An academic buys a cheap dot-matrix printer from Morgan Computer, and complains it won't print.
The Boss-man says "Sorry, we didn't supply it so you'll have to have to talk to Morgan or the manufacturer".
After much blustering by the academic, the manufacturer sends out someone to take a look at it.
The service engineer rummages through the packaging, pulls out the ribbon, and says "It does help if you fit this" before doing a test print.
The call-out fee was more than the price of the printer - and the engineer had to make a 100-mile round trip, just to fit a ribbon.
As they used to say, the White House and McDonalds had something in common.
A clown called Ronald.
I see Vermin Supreme is running again - "Screw World Peace. I Want A Pony !"
Yes, his website has a pink background and looks like something that escaped the GeoCities shutdown, but he's probably still more sane than Trump !
(Speaking of potty headgear, whatever happened to that other guy who always used to campaign wearing a WWII Wermacht helmet ?)
Re: well, that the UK prez you folk chose ain't much good either!
"UK democracy doesn't work".
We have one ? The way our Lords and Masters behave, you could have fooled me.
(As seen on a bumper sticker doing the rounds: "Feudalism - it's your Count that Votes !")
Re: Trump? Who's he?
"I'm still hopeful he picks Sarah Palin as his running mate. That would be really funny.
He won't of course. Everyone saw the look of disgust on his face as he watched her endorse him".
It was like watching the AntiChrist trying to endorse the Devil.
WOO !!! SATAN !!! WOO !!! HOTTER SULPHUR PITS FOR ALL !!! WOO !!! GO SATAN !!!
Re: Good news !
"Yes, it would have been preferable to have a nut-free choice, as lots of people have allergies and such, but one takes what one can get".
Problem is, everything in the GOP chocolate box is a nut.
Re: Gooood evening, Madam!
* If he's not too busy with Paddy Power ads
Not to mention "Thunderbirds Are Go" series 2.
"A rogue advertiser abused the Taggify self-serve ad platform"
There's your problem - Taggify allowed someone to upload malware-ridden payloads and didn't bother checking them before release.
Advertisers - When you clean up your act and stop wringing your hands every time you let stuff like this hit end-user systems, maybe people will take you seriously.
Re: "Everyone's an Engineer"
This, in an industry that has suffered the Blight of the Artificially-Inflated Job Title.
Rockstar Coders, Ninja Sysadmins, Database Gurus - hell, Google even has a "Security Princess" ! (Yeah, I know it sounds cheezy, but Google it if you don't believe me)
"Everyone's an Engineer"
In my book, that makes them "Account Administrators", not anything Technical or Engineering.
The word "Engineer" gets bandied around a lot in the UK, because it's not a protected title. CEng, IEng and EngTech are protected in civil law, but that's about it - and even with a CEng you can't even call yourself an "engineer" in mainland Europe unless you're on the FEANI register.
As a result of all this, you can be L1 telephone support and still have a job title like "Customer Service Engineer".
Re: "We are the engineers"
This person is probably first-level support, and Monster is a reseller so probably a "Customer Service Engineer". Having said that, his response from the get-go was combative and totally uncalled-for.
I've done L1 support in the past and yes, I got it in the neck from angry customers. It's like a telephone/e-mail version of the Kobayashi Maru test from Star Trek, but you're still expected to launch a rescue, take the resulting arse-kicking from the Klingons AND keep your cool.
Losing it like that has just cost them a potential customer - a friend just asked me (in a personal capacity) if they were any good, so I've just sent them this article. "Right, they're off the short-list then !"
Re: Somebody didn't read 'Superiority'...
"Those who fail to read Dilbert are doomed to repeat it" - no idea who said it originally, but they said it a good few years ago.
Re: "Land that thing now, while I'm still in the mood to let you !"
"What happened next? Did he move them to the same room as equipment used by someone over your head, meaning you couldn't turn off those ports without having to answer to him/her why they couldn't make the weekend deadline because you cut him/her off just as the deadline was closing?"
He just whinged to his boss, who then tried to whinge at my division head.
Not that that did them any good - he just told them to stop being so bloody stupid and to call back on Monday morning.
Re: Sadly not beer
I visited a flat in halls where students had a food fight, and pasta was involved. They just painted over it in magnolia and claimed it was Artex.
"Land that thing now, while I'm still in the mood to let you !"
"Turn it off, or in ten minutes I'll make it go off with my axe, or in half an hour the water will make it explode, I'll put the fire out, and it will still be off"
Some people just can't take a hint...
Network Technician: This machine is causing problems for your part of the campus, please disconnect it.
Network Manager: This machine is causing problems for your part of the campus, please disconnect it.
Me: You're messing up the network and you've ignored my colleagues. I'm pulling your plug.
Chummy decides he knows better than me, and moves the machine.
At this point, I had all the network ports in the room turned off.
He moved it next door, so I had all those ports turned off too.
Did I mention this was pub o'clock on a Friday ?
"Pulseaudio incorporated Bluetooth?"
No, BlueZ 5 dropped ALSA support.
Yes, some people will be opiniated. We invited the Devil into our house and stuff. Well, PulseAudio is not maintained by Lennart anymore, and saner people took the helm. We expect no big mess as a result, just a learning curve to understand the new sound configuration. And truthfully, we were left no choice. The alternative would have been to say bye-bye to bluetooth in Slackware because already, major pieces of software are dropping or preparing to drop support the old and incompatible BlueZ 4.x API.
Note: Slackware is NOT going to add systemd. It’s too controversial and there is no need. Your sleep will be sound now.
Re: re O'Reilly etc
Ragemaker 5.0 - I had lots of fun killing off old copies of that.
Mostly me jumping up and down on the boxes, screaming "DIE ! DIE ! HAHAHAAAAAA !"
Re: Axanar looked awesome
"Several other fan produced not-for-profit productions have been made and paramount seems to be OK with them so long as nobody profits from it".
The "Star Wreck" series was a good example. Paramount were pretty cool about the whole thing, even the commercially-distributed "Imperial Edition" (the P-Fleet ships were redesigned in that one to give them a more "Soviet" look).
"Normally I'd agree, but CBS have generally been pretty good with regard to fan-stuff, and the Axanar crew were really taking the piss"
After I pledged to Adam Nimoy's "For the Love of Spock", the Axanar mob spammed me asking for a pledge too. They got nothing from me, other than an e-mail along the lines of "sharing mailing lists like this is NOT cool".
Re: Just trust US. We've been flying by the seat of our pants for a long time
"There is a reason the F-22 is not being exported to anyone (not even close allies like Australia). It is the pinnacle of combat jets (and with a price tag to match)."
That, and the fact they stopped manufacturing them almost four years ago.
Re: I have
My boss in a previous job kept a Hollerith punch around as a conversation piece, and yes, I used punch cards as bookmarks too. I think they even kept the little knives (for cleaning out chads and pulling out damaged cards) as letter-openers.
I even threatened one bad user with the Hollerith, yelling "If I had my way, THIS would be the nearest you'd get to a computer for the rest of your course !"
Never had a Winchester, but I used to use a 5.25" full-height Micropolis SCSI disk to prop doors open. Weighing in at nearly six pounds, that was one door stop nobody pinched !
King's Law of Free Stuff on the Internet
Build a free service, and some bastard will come along and abuse it in ways you've never thought of.
"I know ! Let's build a VPN so people can surf the web in privacy !" is almost invariably followed by "Where the hell did all this Netflix traffic come from ?", "Why is our VPN server taking such an interest in all of those military sites ?" and "Why are our proxy caches turning into a mirror of XHamster ?"
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean I'm not out to get you...
A user once made a formal complaint about me, claiming that I was spying on his e-mail.
"Of course I'm not spying on you", I said. "You're just not that interesting !"
[Cue sound of an ego going "POP! Pfffffffttttt !"]
Re: How stunningly boring
Where's the option to "Blackmail both parties for money and sex, then frame each for the other's murder and watch from the public gallery as they get sent down" ? Now that's an option.
If they've murdered each other, how can they be sent down ? It's like asking where you bury survivors.
I've been called FAR worse things over the years by users.
I would have taken chummy aside and "had words", maybe go as far as a scare-the-bugger-half-to-death, but dobbing him in like that ? That's just cold.
Anyway, I have room to talk about bad behaviour on placements - I was blind drunk by 10am on the day I was supposed to meet my placement supervisor for the first time. Okay, it was my 21st birthday, and yes, THAT was my "present" !
Dear 123-reg, that loud BANG! you just heard...
...was another bunch of customers passing the sound barrier to get away from you as fast as possible.
If I had been a customer affected by this cock-up, I wouldn't be wringing my hands and whining about compensation, I'd be looking for someone more competent and moving everything away at the first opportunity.
Six months of FREE!!! crap is still six months of crap, and probably comes with strings attached. No thank you.
Re: Valid excuse?
"They didn't accept excuses like it in your day and many do not do so today.
If your dog ate your homework, show us the dog vomit as proof.
And that's just the departmental administrators - the profs want something more conclusive !
Every year, the ikkle firsties think they're so original with their excuses, failing to realise the people they're trying to hoodwink probably tried them thirty years ago, on staff who tried to use them thirty years before and so on back to the dawn of humanity...
"Wolf ate Ug's stone tablet !"
"Ug better go look for constipated wolf and get it back then !"
(The departmental admins were probably allowed to carry clubs and spears back then too)
Re: Valid excuse?
Even in the 90's, some JANET sites still only had 2Mbit/sec or 8Mbit/sec MegaStream lines for the entire site. Hell, I worked on one site that had a 64Kbit/sec link to the Uni across the road, and that was one of the last X25 sites on JANET - beer icon, for being reminded about Camtec PADs and other X25 kit.