33 posts • joined Friday 13th February 2009 11:18 GMT
"Jobs bloodbath at Rolls"
Am I the only one that thought Stevie had gone on a killing spree from that sub-title?
You forgot reading El Reg
In a last ditch effort to speed up the replacement for the shuttle next year, NASA have now resorted to trying to breed a baby shuttle-plane hybrid.
Paris, because shes next to mate with a shuttle...
With respect to the copper, who would believe that a train in this country ever goes faster than a standstill?
Shortly to man up to six-person crews
Once we have that number up a bit more, whos for hosting the next series of Big Brother up there?
Watching them drink (unrecycled, preferably) rat's piss won't be nearly as much fun as watching them being 'evicted' through an airlock each week.
A decent one at last?
If all politicians lie through their teeth, those promising to be 'whiter than white' shall be the most corrupt of all.
Conversly, if this one says he will be corrupt he might actually turn out to be half decent.
Does the shark have a laser on its head?
Banks in space
"the service's Space and Missile Center and Space Command are in favour of the RBS concept. This... says that the RBS is seen as the best way to reduce overall space launch costs"
So would that involve spending all their money, having nothing to show for it in the end and then getting the goverment to bail them out then?
"Yes its a new round of taxation and monitoring. 'Carbon Limits' will be set for houses and if you go over certain limits you'll be charged a carbon tax etc.etc."
They could always learn from the ISP's and offer an 'unlimited' service.
The fine print shall read thus: "Boil a kettle before 2am and you will be throttled to a single dily glowing blub. If you turn on said bulb you will be cut off completely"
In other news
“The monitoring of the internet has gone on long enough,” Reporters Without Borders said today in a prepared statement. “We urge the British authorities to amend their legislation regulating Internet use instead of than arbitrarily monitoring content. Such behaviour is unworthy of a country that claims to be democratic and makes us very concerned for the future of the Internet in Britan. We call for the revision of Jacqui Smith's position that led to this unwarranted intrusion.”
Do terrorists watch Father Ted?
"FECK! Look out! It's an ARSS!"
This is a title
Time to start working on that promotion.
Mines the one with the cream pies in the pockets.
Any DNA on this blanket? Id like to clone-a-jesus (tm) and put this religion malarky to bed once and for all.
I need a break
Duly forwarded to my PHB, hopfully I can get offical 'reg breaks' now - in addition to nicotine breaks
Only for use overseas
I guess that includes the UK then.
I'm sure wacky would love to get her hands (/claws/talons/hooves) on this....
28 grand in support payments?!? What kind of timescale are we looking at here, 1 year, 2, 4?
Time to quit my job and get down to the jobcenter methinks.
So when the protesters complain of thought^H^H^H^H^H^H^H police violence they will be met with a resounding chorus of "If only the cameras were on, we told you so"?
Visons of the future
Her next method to end violence to women will be seperation. All women to the east and men to the west.
Perhaps we could build a wall down the center of the country just to make sure?
And all that extra wall space for cameras! Perfect!
Population might take a bit of a hit, but im sure allowing imigrants in will solve that.
Oh if only I were joking :(
By having Bruce Willis on stand-by?
A title is required
“in every situation in which a violent rampage has occurred”, the perpetrator had an “addiction to so-called killer games”.
So what console did Genghis Khan own? Or did he just spend all his time playing GTA: Mongol?
Stop sign: Because even on horseback you race through them.
Off to the island
How much to set up a ring of these as a fence around my house?
Not quite sonic, but it'll do for now.
Mines the one with the Dharma logo on it.
- World's OLDEST human DNA found in leg bone – but that's not the only boning going on...
- Lightning strikes USB bosses: Next-gen jacks will be REVERSIBLE
- OHM MY GOD! Move over graphene, here comes '100% PERFECT' stanene
- Pics Brit inventors' GRAVITY POWERED LIGHT ships out after just 1 year
- Beijing leans on Microsoft to maintain Windows XP support