* Posts by Osiris

33 posts • joined 13 Feb 2009

MoD to bin F-35B navy jumpjets in favour of tailhook birds?

Osiris
Jobs Horns

"Jobs bloodbath at Rolls"

Am I the only one that thought Stevie had gone on a killing spree from that sub-title?

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Canadian bill forces personal data from ISPs sans warrant

Osiris

@Fuzzy Wotnot

You forgot reading El Reg

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Atlantis hitches a ride to Florida

Osiris
Paris Hilton

NASA Deadlines

In a last ditch effort to speed up the replacement for the shuttle next year, NASA have now resorted to trying to breed a baby shuttle-plane hybrid.

Paris, because shes next to mate with a shuttle...

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Scrubbed geo-location data not so anonymous after all

Osiris

@Homard

With respect to the copper, who would believe that a train in this country ever goes faster than a standstill?

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ISS re-wee tech triumph heralds golden showers in orbit

Osiris
Happy

Shortly to man up to six-person crews

Once we have that number up a bit more, whos for hosting the next series of Big Brother up there?

Watching them drink (unrecycled, preferably) rat's piss won't be nearly as much fun as watching them being 'evicted' through an airlock each week.

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Croats flock to support openly corrupt politician

Osiris
Thumb Up

A decent one at last?

If all politicians lie through their teeth, those promising to be 'whiter than white' shall be the most corrupt of all.

Conversly, if this one says he will be corrupt he might actually turn out to be half decent.

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DSGi sells Hungarian biz for €1

Osiris
Joke

This is what happens..

when you don't put a reserve price on eBay

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Debbie Gibson battles Mega Shark and Giant Octopus

Osiris

One question..

Does the shark have a laser on its head?

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US airforce looking at winged-rocket booster 'X-plane'

Osiris

Banks in space

"the service's Space and Missile Center and Space Command are in favour of the RBS concept. This... says that the RBS is seen as the best way to reduce overall space launch costs"

So would that involve spending all their money, having nothing to show for it in the end and then getting the goverment to bail them out then?

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Gov 'smart meter' plans: Sky box in charge of your house

Osiris
Thumb Down

RE: jason

"Yes its a new round of taxation and monitoring. 'Carbon Limits' will be set for houses and if you go over certain limits you'll be charged a carbon tax etc.etc."

They could always learn from the ISP's and offer an 'unlimited' service.

The fine print shall read thus: "Boil a kettle before 2am and you will be throttled to a single dily glowing blub. If you turn on said bulb you will be cut off completely"

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Google Sky gazes at mobile maps

Osiris
Thumb Up

Ad Opportunity

Perhaps it's time for the chocolate factory to team up with a certain make of chocolate bar to overlay targetted advertising next to a certain heavenly body.

Mars or Milky way, I leave that up to them.

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Sikh coppers request bulletproof turbans

Osiris

To bodly go where no Sikh has gone before

I guess we wont see any Sikh astronauts soon then?

Vaccum with no helmet is a bitch I hear

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Turkey's YouTube blackout enters year two

Osiris

In other news

“The monitoring of the internet has gone on long enough,” Reporters Without Borders said today in a prepared statement. “We urge the British authorities to amend their legislation regulating Internet use instead of than arbitrarily monitoring content. Such behaviour is unworthy of a country that claims to be democratic and makes us very concerned for the future of the Internet in Britan. We call for the revision of Jacqui Smith's position that led to this unwarranted intrusion.”

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Koreans cook up glow-in-the-dark beagles

Osiris
Thumb Up

Goldfish

How bout making me a glow in the dark goldfish?

Fish nightlights. It's a billion dollar idea. shhhhhhh

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Yorkshire man wakes up Irish after brain surgery

Osiris

@continuity error?

Maybe Mrs Gregory - the future wife to be - was also his Mother.

Think about it...

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Big boost for Aussie firewall

Osiris
Thumb Up

This is a title

Optus Primus? Is that Optimus Prime's latin cousin?

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Flying-rifle robocopter: Hovering sniper backup for US troops

Osiris
Thumb Up

Do terrorists watch Father Ted?

"FECK! Look out! It's an ARSS!"

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DHS hunts for white-hat hackers

Osiris
Flame

WAG

What about Gary?

Flame on little people.

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Farmers furious at EU's sheep-chip scheme

Osiris

Sheeple

First, they came for the sheep. And I did not speak up because I was not a .... oh, wait. Damn

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Prof: Fat ladies don't get to be CEOs, lardy blokes do

Osiris
Coat

This is a title

Time to start working on that promotion.

Mines the one with the cream pies in the pockets.

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Aussies get gov-backed uber-broadband

Osiris
Thumb Down

All that speed....

...and nowhere to go.

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Vatican researcher claims Templars worshipped Turin Shroud

Osiris

DNA

Any DNA on this blanket? Id like to clone-a-jesus (tm) and put this religion malarky to bed once and for all.

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Short bursts of The Reg at work increase your productivity

Osiris
Happy

I need a break

Duly forwarded to my PHB, hopfully I can get offical 'reg breaks' now - in addition to nicotine breaks

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DARPA wants 'clandestine' 3D building-interior mapping kit

Osiris

Only for use overseas

I guess that includes the UK then.

I'm sure wacky would love to get her hands (/claws/talons/hooves) on this....

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Dept of Work and Pensions isn't working, says report

Osiris

Support payments

28 grand in support payments?!? What kind of timescale are we looking at here, 1 year, 2, 4?

Time to quit my job and get down to the jobcenter methinks.

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Westminster forced to switch off digital CCTV cameras

Osiris

RE: dudeskinn

So when the protesters complain of thought^H^H^H^H^H^H^H police violence they will be met with a resounding chorus of "If only the cameras were on, we told you so"?

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Wacky Jacqui spanked by husband

Osiris
Joke

Surely

Does this mean my ID card will have a space for 'favorite porno'?

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Jacqui Smith pulls in another TV psych in violence probe

Osiris
Joke

Visons of the future

Her next method to end violence to women will be seperation. All women to the east and men to the west.

Perhaps we could build a wall down the center of the country just to make sure?

And all that extra wall space for cameras! Perfect!

Population might take a bit of a hit, but im sure allowing imigrants in will solve that.

Oh if only I were joking :(

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'Nanodiamond' asteroid tracked from space to desert impact

Osiris

@whiff

By having Bruce Willis on stand-by?

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Police union leader calls for 'killer games' sales ban

Osiris
Stop

A title is required

“in every situation in which a violent rampage has occurred”, the perpetrator had an “addiction to so-called killer games”.

So what console did Genghis Khan own? Or did he just spend all his time playing GTA: Mongol?

Stop sign: Because even on horseback you race through them.

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Enormous pain-ray patio heater towers erected in California

Osiris
Coat

Off to the island

How much to set up a ring of these as a fence around my house?

Not quite sonic, but it'll do for now.

Mines the one with the Dharma logo on it.

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Wakefield does a Brum with possessive apostrophes

Osiris
Flame

@John Wells

ODFO.

How's that for text-speak?

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Osiris

@John Wells

ODFO.

How's that for text speak?

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