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* Posts by The Dorset Rambler

81 posts • joined 6 Feb 2009

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Google Instant sinks raft of search controls

The Dorset Rambler
Alert

Not sure...

I still can't work out whether this is good or bad for adwords users and what it means for SEO.

I suspect (but have no proof) that impressions might rise with clicks remaining level - I believe that if the results returned stay on the page for more than three seconds it counts as an impression. If that happens then the click through rate will decrease, the cost per click to me will rise and Google gets more of my money for the same result..

Time will tell.

YMMV

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Hull Daily Mail pulls porncoder comments

The Dorset Rambler

and then..

you realise it was but a dream....

and the screaming begins again...

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Miranda Kerr backs Oz porn-surf banker

The Dorset Rambler
WTF?

@John Savard

Good grief man - are you for real??

Or a banker.

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Men at Work swiped Down Under riff

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Epic fail.

Me.

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The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Shot themselves in the foot..

By playing the flute riff to a fluffy bear hanging from a tree.

No clue there...

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Carbon trade phish scam disrupts exchanges

The Dorset Rambler
WTF?

Is this a trend?

Nobody seems to get 'hacked' anymore. They are 'targeted by rogue states". So not our fault guv.

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Woman sues rail line for 'exploding' toilet

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

It's not a bug, it's a feature...

Big Jobs iEnema.

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Verified by Visa bitchslapped by Cambridge researchers

The Dorset Rambler
WTF?

Moonpig???

FFS.

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Playmobil throws down animation gauntlet

The Dorset Rambler
Go

Come on Lester,

Get the camera out.

A re-make of the good ship Navratilova perhaps?

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iFarter begs Apple for rational App Store

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Down

iDon't care

Nuff said.

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Mandelson to get Nominet reform powers

The Dorset Rambler
Headmaster

I just couldn't resist......

@David 105

Big Brother, in the absence of a Darth mandelson icon (a note to grammAr pedants, I don't capitalise the names of people I have no respect for)

There, fixed it for you...

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BOFH: Slab happy

The Dorset Rambler
Pint

I think.....

that the PFY is nearing the end of his days....

Nice one Simon.

Have a beer.

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Google not normal for Norfolk

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

@dirk koopman

"Obviously those doctors have never been to Norfolk."

They were Norfolk doctors.

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Trucker prangs rig while cracking one off

The Dorset Rambler
Pint

@Hollerith

If (yes) walk away romt he vehicle.

It's not easy typing with one hand, is it?

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Malware house offered bounty for infected Macs

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Not gonna work, this

Because our venerable and learned gubmint has already signed up all the l33t skiddies (sorry, 'naughty boys'), and placed them in a concrete bunker.

We lead the world! Yay!

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Post Office will snap and dab for ID card scheme

The Dorset Rambler
Paris Hilton

I'll bet you a pound..

That they'll introduce some form of proportional pricing.

Thank you sir, if you'll just try and put your fingers through this slot....

Ok, stubby, that will be fifteen pounds 85.....

Paris, what else?

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UK council forced to swallow dick

The Dorset Rambler

@Andus

What a lovely, heartwarming and touching anecdote.

Really filling up here.....

What a silly, silly, SILLY girl to let you go.....

;)

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The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

Ahh...

I'm a huge fan of the band previously known as "Pickled Dick" and am inordinately proud of my badge emblazoned with "I love Dick".

Then the bastards changed their name to "Mike TV" - what sort of name is that ffs?

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Home Office stonewalls ID findings

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

What's the betting that

this report will be delayed until the gubmint can demonstrate the response it wants.

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Women spending more time at work - but less time working

The Dorset Rambler
Pint

@Anonymous John

Damn right feller.

"No comment"

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Britons warned of plague of the 'supercats'

The Dorset Rambler
WTF?

I must get new glasses...

cos I read that as "ferocious feline patio-heaters menace dogs, children.

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CSI boffins: You can't ID crims from bitemarks on victims

The Dorset Rambler
WTF?

Moderating staff??

Is our beloved moderatrix empire building??

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Italian Job sat nav driver cops £900 fine

The Dorset Rambler
Happy

Hmmm....

"My tom-tom took me up the bridle path"

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Abigail's Windows 7 Party

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

Thank you Verity

mwah mwah

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Armless getaway driver leads police a merry dance

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

Now that's a good idea....

IIRC the sentence for armed robbery is much higher.

Nice bit of forethought there...

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Google moves to micropayments

The Dorset Rambler

I wonder...

If a micro-payment system can be developed that is both simple to operate and cheap to use (for publishers) could this mean the start of a "paid" internet.

For example, on one of my sites I offer relevant and useful information for free. If I could charge a fraction of a penny/cent for each page view, why wouldn't I?

Another example. If I am coding something (I am only an amateur) and I run into a wall what do I do? Google. Would I pay a fraction of a penny to see a solution that might save me hours? Course I would.

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SA pigeon outpaces broadband

The Dorset Rambler
IT Angle

Hang on a mo..

This article HAS an IT angle yet is in Bootnotes.

Are you trying to completely confuse those gentle readers who can't quite get the concept of Bootnotes?

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Boffins: Give up on CO2 cuts, only geoengineering can work

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Yet again

we have the nonsense phrase "saving the planet".

Please explain to me where the carbon di-oxide in the so-called 'fossil fuels' came from.

Was it not from flora and fauna growing abundantly in a world much hotter, much wetter and with a much higher level of both carbon di-oxide and oxygen?

"The planet" did not need to "save" itself then, and it does not need to now.

Save humankind is what is really meant.

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Twitter tracker goes twotspotting

The Dorset Rambler
Happy

Here's why

"Quite why one would want to do this remains a mystery"

Come on, you know why.

Who amongst us has not spent days, weeks or even months in coding something that has no commercial application, interests nobody but themselves and could have been done in ten minutes with a spreadsheet?

I know I have.

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Gmail in massive web outage

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Error message == Massive Fail

Stored messages are Ok to access, but tickertape message suggests that it is MY internet connection that needs looking at.

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The Dorset Rambler

Back now...

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

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Lad from Lagos makes YouTube pitch

The Dorset Rambler
Coffee/keyboard

Absolutely

Priceless!

"very large objects up my bottom"

New keyboard please...

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Google's move into mortgages spawns lawsuit

The Dorset Rambler
Unhappy

And so it begins.

Here in the UK we have Tesco. Used to be a grocer. Now, wants to take over every aspect of our life.

Cradle to the grave. With Clubcard points, naturally.

This appears to be Google taking the first [?] steps on that route.

On the bright side, it may not be too long before some creative startup appears that re-asserts Google's 'do no evil', citing Google as 'the evil one'.

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UK population to abandon Midlands

The Dorset Rambler
Stop

Bugger off!

We're full.

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Scientists unlock DIY DNA

The Dorset Rambler
Pint

@version

Top man.

"It's kinda like assuming that if you find an egg in the refrigerator ... then you must have had a hen in there too"

Nice analogy.

My round.

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Ubuntu man extends olive branch to irate Debian devs

The Dorset Rambler
Stop

This is going to seem lame....

and I am truly not trolling or inviting flames...

but could someone explain to an old man :) how linux (as an open source concept) works?

I get the bit about thousands (?) of developers all inputing bug fixes et al etc. etc.

What I don't get is how the top bit - the full time developers - are funded.

Are there commercial donations of either money or developers or is it ad driven. I know there was one very wealthy guy who donated a lot of his kids money to a distro - was it kubuntu?

Seriously, this is a real question. Honestly. Cross my heart etc. etc.

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CIOs get £170k but helpdesk staffers settle for £6/hr

The Dorset Rambler
Pint

@Jolyon Ralph

"the USA or other colonies"..

Such subtlety.

Perfect.

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McKinnon loses judicial review

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

And then...

He'll be forgotten.

Anyone remember what happened to the "Natwest Two" (or was it three..).

UK = Epic fail.

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Ballmer: People don't 'get' Microsoft's Yahoo! marriage

The Dorset Rambler

Hmmm....

“The greatest source of wealth creation is being in the right market early enough. If you aren’t in early enough, you aren’t going to grow with the market.”

Correct me if I am wrong, but is that exactly where they are? Playing catchup.

OTOH, as a user of Google AdWords, I kinda like a serious competitor. It might drive ppc costs south - which would be a very good thing.

So, judgement suspended, for the moment.

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Landlord sues tenant over moldy Tweet

The Dorset Rambler
Stop

Errr. sorry to be a wet blanket....

But as far as I can tell the case has not yet been heard.

And while I think it an excellent jape, would not hundreds of El Reg emails help to strengthen their [Horizon's] case???

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Cameron condemns Tweeters as tw*ts

The Dorset Rambler
Joke

Why?

This might be off topic, and I must be dense, but I have never been able to understand why the limit was set to one hundred and forty charac

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Windfarm Britain means (very) expensive electricity

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Let's face it...

Nuclear is the only real option whether we like it or not.

There may be a case for small windfarms serving small communities that want them, but vast swathes of the countryside covered in [ugly/beautiful] windmills just aint gonna happen.

There were plans for a small (I think it was 6 turbines) windfarm a few miles away. You should have seen the fuss with world + dog + local mp all nimby'ing away.

Refused in the end.

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Riot police raid birthday barbecue for 'all-night' Facebook tag

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

@Mike 61

I had 300 people at my wife's birthday party and you could hear the music 2 miles away (so I have been told), but law enforcement did nothing until the reports of gunfire..

Nice.

Just nice.

Made me smile.

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The Dorset Rambler

I think the term is 'jerkoff', I may be wrong

"You asshats in the UK get what you deserve for all your moral posturing and elitism."

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Swedish devil girls fingered on Street View

The Dorset Rambler
Coffee/keyboard

Brilliant!

The second picture is pure genius.

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Plod offered SIM confiscation powers by Tories

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Twaddle.

"The plans would grant front line police officers discretion in deciding whether to give "occasional miscreants... the twenty first century version of a clip around the ear".

So we will see a return to the ratio of plod to people of yesteryear? When the local plod lived among the people he policed - by consent - and knew world + dog personally?

Didn't think so.

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DNA database swells despite human rights ruling

The Dorset Rambler
Thumb Up

@AC 11:17

"Last time I checked, using a pseudonym isn't illegal."

A fair point, well made.

But since when do you have to do anything illegal to get on this particular database (Aaron, where are you).

And tbh, using a pseudonym AND getting fingered twice *is* a little sus...

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The Dorset Rambler
Alert

Replicates?

If 13.5% are replicates (estimated) then surely this means that the [alleged] perps had at least two samples taken from them, at different times/places and that they were using a different identity.

Prima facie case for another chat with the boys [& girls] in blue perhaps?

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Whining serial commentard bemoans Reg bullying

The Dorset Rambler
Coffee/keyboard

Thank you, thank you, thank you

It's Friday, I've got my father's day Ska cd's on full blast, and you give me this.

Heaven.

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Conficker left Manchester unable to issue traffic tickets

The Dorset Rambler
FAIL

Surely.that should read -

Steve Park, Ex Head of ICT at Manchester city council.

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