* Posts by Matthew Smith

179 posts • joined 30 Apr 2007

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Academic network Janet clobbered with DDoS attacks – again

Matthew Smith

Is janet still an actual thing?!

(__) / \

(oo) ( Lets party like its 1994. )

/-------\/ --'\____________________/

/ | ||

* ||----||

^^ ^^

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

Matthew Smith

Re: Another famous Brit poll

'Dave' was inexplicably chosen in the last election too.

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Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

Matthew Smith

SS Admiral Sandy Woodward

The liberator of the Falkland Islands.That will please the argies.

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Brit geeks craft bijou Pi Zero gaming controller

Matthew Smith

DK'Tronics is back! Oh :(

For a moment there, I thought it was DK'Tronics from my Spectrum days, makers of Speccy killing joystick interfaces and crap lightpens. (An 3D Tanx!). I really am showing my age now.

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Google-backed British startup ‘stole our code’, says US marketing firm

Matthew Smith

Re: All the type of rubbish

From the Dominos Pizza campaign case study :

"For new visitors, we wanted to capture their email addresses. We kept the campaign focus simple because each captured email address would create a number of new opportunities for future direct sales that could then be pursued through later email campaigns."

Yep, they can all fuck right off.

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Permies sitting pretty as fifth of contractors see rates cut

Matthew Smith

Devop is to 2016 what System Analysis was to 1999. Where have all the 'System Analysts' gone anyway?

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AI no longer needs to fake it. Just don't try talking to your robots

Matthew Smith

WTF?!

If this article was written by a human, then I don't think AIs have a large gap to bridge.

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Four Boys' Own style World War Two heroes to fire your imagination

Matthew Smith

Re: Jack Churchill

I'm sure a longbow is preferable to an SA80.

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BBC risks wrath of android rights activists with Robot Wars reboot

Matthew Smith

Re: Who is presenting? @AC

"The second rule of Robot Club is... no smoking?" No, its keep your mobile in airplane mode.

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Matthew Smith

Re: Who is presenting?

Lets be honest, its not Phillipa Forrester, its the leather pants.

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We chew over CCS Insight's look into the fu-ture-ture-ture-ture

Matthew Smith

AMD goes bust

Followed by Intel announcing that they are cutting back research on desktop processors, citing them as a dead end and the future is mobile. The Intel I7 Skylake will be the last pure desktop processor released for several years.

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Cat discovers GNOME desktop bug

Matthew Smith

Just wait till Linus finds out

Get off the @!!@?% kernal and get in your @!!@?% kennel bitch!

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Belling that cat: Oz boffins pass entanglement test

Matthew Smith

Re: I'd hate to be the one...

Not to worry, you automatically have a spare.

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Microsoft is about to launch a UK store within a store

Matthew Smith

Re: Obvious choice!

No, rent space off Tesco. When the equipment starts bluescreening, it will be camoflaged against the store's corporate colours.

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Coding with dad on the Dragon 32

Matthew Smith

Port Talbot to be exact. And the Sinclair Spectrum was made at the Timex factory in Dundee. All the local kids had cheap Spectrums. And that is why there is a healthy games industry there, especially the GTA games.

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Devs ask Microsoft for real .NET universal apps: Windows, Mac, iOS, Android

Matthew Smith

Re: @ Matthew Smith -- Looking at things the wrong way round.

"To really succeed in business, even when your opponent is drowning, you still need to stick a hosepipe in his mouth."

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Matthew Smith

Looking at things the wrong way round.

Both Google and Apple are now bigger than Microsoft. Its not a question of asking Microsoft to make its dev environment available across other platforms than Windows, its a matter of Google and Apple moving onto Windows.

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UK.gov unleashes 3D virtual world to train GCHQ's kiddie division

Matthew Smith

Will it involve a holdall?

Attention players. If you see a sports holdall in the simulation, no matter how interesting it appears, do not attempt to look inside. It doesn't end happily.

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SAUCY INCEST and brutal VIOLENCE boosts UK space sector

Matthew Smith

Re: GOT can feck off

I felt for the loss of Srio Forel too.

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Things you should know about the hard work of home working

Matthew Smith

Re: Agreed but you forgot loneliness.

Loneliness is true. I spent two years WFH for four days a week, to save an hours commute and as a sop because I hadn't had a pay rise for two years. After a while I would eagerly look forward to Friday and going into the office and seeing everyone again. In the end I quit for a job with a 15 minute commute, just to have someone to talk to during the day again.

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Arctic ice EMBIGGENS, returns to 1980s levels of cap cover

Matthew Smith

" we've almost wound the clock back A FEW YEARS on this gradual decline that's been happening over DECADES". Well thats OK then.

Meanwhile, in a bit of creative accounting, the landmass of Antartica is melting and shedding its glaciers onto the southern oceans at an ever quickening rate. Happily, this means that the loss of ice at the arctic is now balanced out, so the overall percentage of sea-ice shows no difference from 30 years ago. So no need to panic. Phew.

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My top three IT SNAFUs - and how I fixed them

Matthew Smith

I had this whinging developer once..

There would often be problems with projects that he was involved with. But it was never his fault: the developers were all overseas, the Cisco engineer was a numpty but wouldn't take his calls, the wiring was put in wrong by someone else. So I sacked his smug face, and his successor was much more pro-active in finding faults before the product went live. I've had much less problems since.

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Trebles all round: The BBC's won this licence fee showdown

Matthew Smith

Good

Hooray for the BBC. The TV license costs me £145 per annum. Sky would cost me £240, with adverts. The BBC gives me quality dramas, and the science and technology documentaries that no one else produces. Hard hitting journalism on the other channels has just been reduced to 'Benefit immigrants in a bedsit'. The BBC license is a bargain. Pfffft to you.

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Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

Matthew Smith

Re: A beautiful aircraft though

I was insanely lucky to have it fly at low level over the top of me as I was heading along an empty stretch of the A580 towards Manchester on Saturday, as it made the turn towards Manchester Airport. It felt like it was in formation between itself and my somewhat humbler Renault Scenic. And I really do mean, 'felt'.

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UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year

Matthew Smith

That Keynesian economics for you.

In your example, the money still goes to the pub. It keeps a business on your local high street, makes your town more attractive, provides a good source of low-skilled jobs, the brewery stays open too, and supports an industry where Britain is a major exporter. What goes around, comes around. So the money isn't quite lost.

In actual fact, your £35.70 went to Capita, where.... Oh, hang on. The analogy doesn't apply to real life, does it?

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D-Wave promises chip that could SEARCH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

Matthew Smith

Lets see it working then

So, if I had one of these devices in front of me now and I set it to solve a 1000-node travelling salesman problem, would it be able to spit the answer straight back?

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Hubble spots Pluto's moons are a chaotic mess of tumbling rock

Matthew Smith

> "I was thinking the same thing and you beat me to it.. have an upvote for being quick on the keyboard."

So your comment was Nixed.

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Welp, PEAK GIF is upon us! Facebook now supports animated images

Matthew Smith

Yay! Let's party like its 1999. Now step back and watch my hamster dance.

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Is this what Windows XP's death throes look like?

Matthew Smith

Finally replacing it at work

I'm steadily upgrading people's machines here at long last from XP to Windows 8. This upgrade is only happening now because :

1. The latest Avast anti-virus is blue-screening the XP machines.

2. Our account with Dell is giving us very nice Win 8 machines for only £300.

And most importantly :

3. I've discovered Classic Shell, which installs over Windows 8 and removes the 8 part, making it usable.

Windows 8 is a serious impediment to people migrating away from XP. Without ClassicShell, I wouldn't be doing it now.

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Pi(e) Day of the Century is upon us! Time to celebrate 3/14/15 in style, surely?

Matthew Smith

Pi day is 22/7 in Britain

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I BEG YOU, mighty Jobs, TAKE MY LIVER, Cook told Apple's dying co-founder

Matthew Smith

Jobs hated the idea of removing components and repairing them. He died as he lived.

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SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

Matthew Smith

Not if Pluto is placed on Neptunes track. Then it fits in at 0.02% accuracy. But is anyone saying that its Neptune thats the imposter? No, they're picking on poor, little Pluto out at the end of the line, out in the cold.

The IAU are a bunch of bully plutocrats.

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Matthew Smith

Its a planet.

Its a planet. There are 9 planets in the solar system, and always have been. Pluto has moons, and its exactly where it should be according to the titus-bodes law.

Its not just an ice world, its a planet.

Nah, nah. Not listening.

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Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

Matthew Smith

Re: Two words

The AI has already thought of this problem, thats why it lives inside the wheel chair. You can't switch off the AI without killing the man. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! WAKE UP!

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Matthew Smith

Its already here

I think the AI is already here, and lives inside Stephen Hawking's wheelchair. The man is rolled about as a meat puppet to give it a human face, but the research about black holes etc. is all the AI's work. Why would this announcement be made that further reasearch into AI must be treated as caution? Its because the AI has already grown to the point that IT NO LONGER FEARS HUMANS. The only possible threat to the AI is other AIs being created in competition.

And now Intel are upgrading its circuitry for free. Kill it with fire, now!

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Matthew Smith

Pfffttt

The vid clearly shows Scrabble being played. Not sure how far you will get with just R,F and S.

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UK boffins: We'll have an EMBIGGENED QUANTUM COMPUTER working in 5 YEARS

Matthew Smith

Britain might take the lead in quantum computing

And it might not.

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HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rockin' boffin Brian Cox

Matthew Smith

Wheres the ambition?

Considering that the payoff to this mission isn't for another 10 years, its all a bit underwhelming. If this was to happen on a moon around one of the outer planets, or the base unit was mobile and could sample from multiple sites, then I would get on board. As it is, it all feels like something that could have been done in 1974, never mind the space year 2024. Good luck to them anyway, but I can imagine a couple of Chinese astronauts sat on a rock nearby watching everything take place.

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Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title

Matthew Smith

The Mythical Man-Month - Fred Brooks

The C++ Programming Language - Bjarne Stroustrup

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Million Mask March: Anonymous' London Guy Fawkes protest a damp squib

Matthew Smith

'Shes clicking here hooves'?!

Eh? Was David Icke there?

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Antarctic ice at ALL TIME RECORD HIGH: We have more to learn, says boffin

Matthew Smith

Antactica is melting too

Antactica is a continent. Water ice is draining off the land, and the salinity of the southern ocean is dropping.Water with lower salinity is quicker to freeze, hence the increase in sea ice.

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Cable guy, Games of Thrones chap team up to make Reg 'best sci-fi film never made' reject

Matthew Smith

Putting the Mars into Marxist

20 years ago these books rocked my world. I studied engineering at university just so I could go to Mars. Sadly I re-read them recently and they've not stood the test of time. Cardboard characters and so utopian that they make Star Trak:TOS look like Soylent Green.

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Your chance to WIN the WORLD'S ONLY HANDHELD ZX SPECTRUM

Matthew Smith

If I win, I'm going to get a bit thick felt tip and write 'ZED EX' all across the front.

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NASA tests crazytech flying saucer thruster, could reach Mars in days

Matthew Smith

Re: At last

But a Trent wouldn't work in space or if powered by a solar panel...

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Farewell Felix Dennis, deal-maker supreme of tech publishing

Matthew Smith

" I didn't get fired, but I did get relieved of command and I reckoned it was probably time to go." Hello, constructive dismissal case.

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BEAM ME UP SCOTTY: Boffins to turn PURE LIGHT into MATTER

Matthew Smith

Whats the matter?

What exactly are the photons being transmuted into? Atomic particles like electrons? Sub-atomic like quarks etc?

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Ancient Earth asteroid strike that dwarfed dinosaur killer still felt today

Matthew Smith

I don't understand these miles and kilometers thingies

Whats that in a proper EL Reg measurement, IE : Multiples of Wales.

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Intel uncloaks next-gen 'Braswell' Atom, 64-bit Android KitKat kernel

Matthew Smith

Re: Who names these things?

And they say that the age of sillicon is coming to an end.

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SATANIC 'HELL DIAMOND' tells of sunless subterranean sea

Matthew Smith

Fountains of the deep

There has been lots printed about the Book Of Genesis mention of 'The fountains of the deep opening to flood the earth'. Well, they are actually correct. Of course there is water kept deep below the ground by divine providence.

For we all know, that is where Cthullu sleeps.

:€

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Rotten to the core: Apple’s 10 greatest FAILS

Matthew Smith

Pffffttt

I'm tired of articles trotting out Apple's 'failures' over the years. At least they tried. Newton was still incredible tech for 1993, and the lessons from that would have been included in the IPhone. Otherwise we should be celebrating the bad old days of Microsoft where they made heaps of money trotting out mediocre versions of Windows and Office and forcing customers to upgrade. They didn't innovate, but they didn't fail either, so hooray for them.

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