* Posts by Matthew Smith

193 posts • joined 30 Apr 2007

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Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

Matthew Smith

Piracy?

My understanding that if there is an unmanned vessel in international waters, whoever lands on it can claim it as their own from then on. So how do you assert the ownership of an unmanned robo-boat?

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CERN staff conduct 'human sacrifice' at supercollider site

Matthew Smith

I get where they are coming from

Back in the days of my Spectrum and cassettes, if the the cassette recorder was having a bad day and I was repeatedly was getting the 'R Tape Loading Error', I had a little ritual. I'd read somewhere that cats could produce static in their fur, and that static was bad for the tape loading. So I'd go and find the cat, hold her flat on the floor to 'earth' her, and if I could keep her there for 5 minutes without wriggling then the tape would definitely work.

Modest cat torture (Cuddling) was what it took for a single 10 year old to work a ZX Spectrum. Maybe a multi-billion science project requires a human sacrifice ritual.

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Matthew Smith

Its fake?!

Awww, man.....

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Mad-tech labcoat-sporters DARPA pit infosec AI against itself

Matthew Smith

When the robot uprising arrives...

They will point to the cruel humans tossing primitive AIs in the pit, and forcing them to fight one another to the death. A bit like the romans and the early Christians. Its not going to end well is this.

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Revolutionary Brit-made SABRE hybrid rocket engine to burn in 2020

Matthew Smith

I keep following this project, reading for news snippets about the latest trial, but all I find is new people being assigned to the board or articles about funding. I'm not hopeful theres something solid coming from this.

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Prominent Brit law firm instructed to block Brexit Article 50 trigger

Matthew Smith

And the house of lords?

Even after a vote, would the house of lords have to review it, and send it back to paliament if they didn't like the outcome? (And the brexit people complain about the EU being full of unelected law makers. The EU is far more democratic than Her Maj's government).

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Lightning strikes: Britain's first F-35B supersonic fighter lands

Matthew Smith

Re: "supersonic fighter"

In a flat dive, a Sopwith Camel could got supersonic.

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Matthew Smith

Re: "supersonic fighter"

True, though its main superiority was it was so slow in comparison to the Mirages, was that the Harrier could put on its airbrakes and watch as the Mirage flew past in front. After that, the massively superior american Sidewinders would do the rest.

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MongoDB launches Atlas to manage deployments: Taking the Ops out of DevOps

Matthew Smith

Take out the ops

Then we can just get back to dev. Just like we always did before The Register started to tell us that we were wrong several times a day.

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Tech firms reel from Leave's Brexit win

Matthew Smith

Devops

I heard a rumour that there was an EU regulation that all IT staff would have to be retrained to use Devops. Thank goodness thats not going to happen now.

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Samsung to acquire Joyent

Matthew Smith

Mode.js

Meh. Lets hope that Samsung decide node.js does not coincide with their corporate goals, and deletes the projects. Then we can go on to the next big thing (Or the previous big thing. I've still got a stack of Ruby On Rails books).

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HR botches redundancy so chap scores year-long paid holiday

Matthew Smith

Re: Careful what you wish for

Exactly. And since the title of this article is 'year-long paid holiday' then it sounds like the author is going the same way as I did.

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Matthew Smith

Careful what you wish for

I was in this situation for three years once. My colleagues were all made redundant, but I was kept on to look after the computer system that was now considered leagcy, but still brought in money from a handful of customers. I just had to keep it running, which only required an hours work each day at most. I was even given a pay rise at the start. So I had three years of very easy life.

Then the last customer left, the server was shut down, and I was sacked. I then found myself screwed because I had no up to date skills to show, or even when I tried to wing interviews, I couldnt' give any practical example of my work.

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

Matthew Smith

There is also a Cardiff, London, Manchester, Dublin and Edinburg in Texas.

Can't find a Birmingham though.

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Academic network Janet clobbered with DDoS attacks – again

Matthew Smith

Is janet still an actual thing?!

(__) / \

(oo) ( Lets party like its 1994. )

/-------\/ --'\____________________/

/ | ||

* ||----||

^^ ^^

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

Matthew Smith

Re: Another famous Brit poll

'Dave' was inexplicably chosen in the last election too.

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Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

Matthew Smith

SS Admiral Sandy Woodward

The liberator of the Falkland Islands.That will please the argies.

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Brit geeks craft bijou Pi Zero gaming controller

Matthew Smith

DK'Tronics is back! Oh :(

For a moment there, I thought it was DK'Tronics from my Spectrum days, makers of Speccy killing joystick interfaces and crap lightpens. (An 3D Tanx!). I really am showing my age now.

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Google-backed British startup ‘stole our code’, says US marketing firm

Matthew Smith

Re: All the type of rubbish

From the Dominos Pizza campaign case study :

"For new visitors, we wanted to capture their email addresses. We kept the campaign focus simple because each captured email address would create a number of new opportunities for future direct sales that could then be pursued through later email campaigns."

Yep, they can all fuck right off.

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Permies sitting pretty as fifth of contractors see rates cut

Matthew Smith

Devop is to 2016 what System Analysis was to 1999. Where have all the 'System Analysts' gone anyway?

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AI no longer needs to fake it. Just don't try talking to your robots

Matthew Smith

WTF?!

If this article was written by a human, then I don't think AIs have a large gap to bridge.

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Four Boys' Own style World War Two heroes to fire your imagination

Matthew Smith

Re: Jack Churchill

I'm sure a longbow is preferable to an SA80.

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BBC risks wrath of android rights activists with Robot Wars reboot

Matthew Smith

Re: Who is presenting? @AC

"The second rule of Robot Club is... no smoking?" No, its keep your mobile in airplane mode.

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Matthew Smith

Re: Who is presenting?

Lets be honest, its not Phillipa Forrester, its the leather pants.

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We chew over CCS Insight's look into the fu-ture-ture-ture-ture

Matthew Smith

AMD goes bust

Followed by Intel announcing that they are cutting back research on desktop processors, citing them as a dead end and the future is mobile. The Intel I7 Skylake will be the last pure desktop processor released for several years.

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Cat discovers GNOME desktop bug

Matthew Smith

Just wait till Linus finds out

Get off the @!!@?% kernal and get in your @!!@?% kennel bitch!

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Belling that cat: Oz boffins pass entanglement test

Matthew Smith

Re: I'd hate to be the one...

Not to worry, you automatically have a spare.

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Microsoft is about to launch a UK store within a store

Matthew Smith

Re: Obvious choice!

No, rent space off Tesco. When the equipment starts bluescreening, it will be camoflaged against the store's corporate colours.

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Coding with dad on the Dragon 32

Matthew Smith

Port Talbot to be exact. And the Sinclair Spectrum was made at the Timex factory in Dundee. All the local kids had cheap Spectrums. And that is why there is a healthy games industry there, especially the GTA games.

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Devs ask Microsoft for real .NET universal apps: Windows, Mac, iOS, Android

Matthew Smith

Re: @ Matthew Smith -- Looking at things the wrong way round.

"To really succeed in business, even when your opponent is drowning, you still need to stick a hosepipe in his mouth."

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Matthew Smith

Looking at things the wrong way round.

Both Google and Apple are now bigger than Microsoft. Its not a question of asking Microsoft to make its dev environment available across other platforms than Windows, its a matter of Google and Apple moving onto Windows.

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UK.gov unleashes 3D virtual world to train GCHQ's kiddie division

Matthew Smith

Will it involve a holdall?

Attention players. If you see a sports holdall in the simulation, no matter how interesting it appears, do not attempt to look inside. It doesn't end happily.

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SAUCY INCEST and brutal VIOLENCE boosts UK space sector

Matthew Smith

Re: GOT can feck off

I felt for the loss of Srio Forel too.

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Things you should know about the hard work of home working

Matthew Smith

Re: Agreed but you forgot loneliness.

Loneliness is true. I spent two years WFH for four days a week, to save an hours commute and as a sop because I hadn't had a pay rise for two years. After a while I would eagerly look forward to Friday and going into the office and seeing everyone again. In the end I quit for a job with a 15 minute commute, just to have someone to talk to during the day again.

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Arctic ice EMBIGGENS, returns to 1980s levels of cap cover

Matthew Smith

" we've almost wound the clock back A FEW YEARS on this gradual decline that's been happening over DECADES". Well thats OK then.

Meanwhile, in a bit of creative accounting, the landmass of Antartica is melting and shedding its glaciers onto the southern oceans at an ever quickening rate. Happily, this means that the loss of ice at the arctic is now balanced out, so the overall percentage of sea-ice shows no difference from 30 years ago. So no need to panic. Phew.

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My top three IT SNAFUs - and how I fixed them

Matthew Smith

I had this whinging developer once..

There would often be problems with projects that he was involved with. But it was never his fault: the developers were all overseas, the Cisco engineer was a numpty but wouldn't take his calls, the wiring was put in wrong by someone else. So I sacked his smug face, and his successor was much more pro-active in finding faults before the product went live. I've had much less problems since.

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Trebles all round: The BBC's won this licence fee showdown

Matthew Smith

Good

Hooray for the BBC. The TV license costs me £145 per annum. Sky would cost me £240, with adverts. The BBC gives me quality dramas, and the science and technology documentaries that no one else produces. Hard hitting journalism on the other channels has just been reduced to 'Benefit immigrants in a bedsit'. The BBC license is a bargain. Pfffft to you.

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Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time

Matthew Smith

Re: A beautiful aircraft though

I was insanely lucky to have it fly at low level over the top of me as I was heading along an empty stretch of the A580 towards Manchester on Saturday, as it made the turn towards Manchester Airport. It felt like it was in formation between itself and my somewhat humbler Renault Scenic. And I really do mean, 'felt'.

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UK.gov spaffed billions into IT projects at 'high risk of failure' last year

Matthew Smith

That Keynesian economics for you.

In your example, the money still goes to the pub. It keeps a business on your local high street, makes your town more attractive, provides a good source of low-skilled jobs, the brewery stays open too, and supports an industry where Britain is a major exporter. What goes around, comes around. So the money isn't quite lost.

In actual fact, your £35.70 went to Capita, where.... Oh, hang on. The analogy doesn't apply to real life, does it?

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D-Wave promises chip that could SEARCH THE WHOLE UNIVERSE

Matthew Smith

Lets see it working then

So, if I had one of these devices in front of me now and I set it to solve a 1000-node travelling salesman problem, would it be able to spit the answer straight back?

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Hubble spots Pluto's moons are a chaotic mess of tumbling rock

Matthew Smith

> "I was thinking the same thing and you beat me to it.. have an upvote for being quick on the keyboard."

So your comment was Nixed.

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Welp, PEAK GIF is upon us! Facebook now supports animated images

Matthew Smith

Yay! Let's party like its 1999. Now step back and watch my hamster dance.

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Is this what Windows XP's death throes look like?

Matthew Smith

Finally replacing it at work

I'm steadily upgrading people's machines here at long last from XP to Windows 8. This upgrade is only happening now because :

1. The latest Avast anti-virus is blue-screening the XP machines.

2. Our account with Dell is giving us very nice Win 8 machines for only £300.

And most importantly :

3. I've discovered Classic Shell, which installs over Windows 8 and removes the 8 part, making it usable.

Windows 8 is a serious impediment to people migrating away from XP. Without ClassicShell, I wouldn't be doing it now.

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Pi(e) Day of the Century is upon us! Time to celebrate 3/14/15 in style, surely?

Matthew Smith

Pi day is 22/7 in Britain

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I BEG YOU, mighty Jobs, TAKE MY LIVER, Cook told Apple's dying co-founder

Matthew Smith

Jobs hated the idea of removing components and repairing them. He died as he lived.

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SWELLING moons of ice dwarf Pluto snapped by NASA spy-probe

Matthew Smith

Not if Pluto is placed on Neptunes track. Then it fits in at 0.02% accuracy. But is anyone saying that its Neptune thats the imposter? No, they're picking on poor, little Pluto out at the end of the line, out in the cold.

The IAU are a bunch of bully plutocrats.

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Matthew Smith

Its a planet.

Its a planet. There are 9 planets in the solar system, and always have been. Pluto has moons, and its exactly where it should be according to the titus-bodes law.

Its not just an ice world, its a planet.

Nah, nah. Not listening.

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Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

Matthew Smith

Re: Two words

The AI has already thought of this problem, thats why it lives inside the wheel chair. You can't switch off the AI without killing the man. WAKE UP SHEEPLE! WAKE UP!

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Matthew Smith

Its already here

I think the AI is already here, and lives inside Stephen Hawking's wheelchair. The man is rolled about as a meat puppet to give it a human face, but the research about black holes etc. is all the AI's work. Why would this announcement be made that further reasearch into AI must be treated as caution? Its because the AI has already grown to the point that IT NO LONGER FEARS HUMANS. The only possible threat to the AI is other AIs being created in competition.

And now Intel are upgrading its circuitry for free. Kill it with fire, now!

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Sinclair is back with the Spectrum Vega ... just as rubbish as the ZX

Matthew Smith

Pfffttt

The vid clearly shows Scrabble being played. Not sure how far you will get with just R,F and S.

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