Posts by Luis Ogando

@Mister_C

You TOTALLY get the award for putting into actual words what actually happens when you hit the degauss option!

Classic!

Paris, 'cos I reckon, well, '<click> - <TUNG!> wobble wobble wobble' y'know...

'Allo 'Allo

Probably not politically correct, but wouldn't it be great if one of the hostages was that police officer from 'Allo 'Allo with the really bad accent, trying his best to fit in..

"Good moaning. I was pissing by the durr when I hod a nose."

Classic!

Paris, 'cos she knows about a French Lock-In...

Good Show

Good on Mr Sleath for standing his ground and getting the rozzers to admit their failing.

It is worth mentioning, however, that the police get filmed as much as the rest of us by the swathe of 'public safety monitoring equipment' dotted around our cities. Although I'm not convinced that any 'obtuse' actions by officers isn't deleted...

I think we should copy Mr Sleath's lead and really push for apologies when we get s44'd for no reason whatsoever! I notice the local constabulary don't mind being filmed when the're acting the hero on the variety of cop shows on TV nowadays.

A little unfair

So, the government spend time, money and effort trying to get us to use overpriced, poorly-maintained and tardy public transport instead of our nice shiny cars, and then, when less people buy cars because of this (and, no doubt, the recession) they then sting the car manufacturers for tax on, effectively, unsold stock.

Car dealerships are closing and people are losing their jobs. This will already affect the car manufacturing industry without money-grabbing beaurocrats, hiding behind all manner of legal mumbo-jumbo, sticking their boots in.

FFS, HMRC - at least TRY to help us escape the recession..!

80's Retro Cocktail Table..?

Come on, the best use for this is to install MAME and run thousands of 80's arcade games like those old cocktail tables did in pubs and WMCs!!

Actually, with a higher spec you could play coffee table Resistance.....

Paris, 'cos she knows about coffee tables...

Christ On A Landspeeder!!

These people make me laugh! I'm as much a SW fan as anyone else. Actually, I'm a HUGE fan. Have been since getting the first glimpse in 1976 (before the UK release). But let's put things into perspective:

1. IT'S NOT REAL!! It's from a FILM!! A damn good one, yes, but STILL A FILM FFS!!

2. If it WAS real, Jedi is NOT a frigging religion!! That is like saying Lau Gar (Kung Fu) is a religion. It isn't. The people who originally practiced it were Buddhists. Jedi is the ORDER (like the Knights Templar) and follows Samurai more than anything else.

Also, would you trust your safety/welfare/Ewok to someone who believes he is guided by mind-controlling micro-organisms in their blood?? Thought not.

Fire, 'cos these idiots should be burned as heretics (and for lampooning Lucas' finest work!).

Good Idea

I like it. Although I'm never in a position to use a touchscreen when I'm jiggling around too much (running?? come on..!) it would be good for using interfaces of this type on buses, cars, turbulent 'plane trips, etc.

@Nir - True, my SatNav zooms in and out, but not the buttons. Damn annoying when you want to change a route on the go (or my passenger does, obviously, Officer...). Perhaps as more and more aircraft get fitted with glass cockpits (monitors instead of instrument dials) this technology could move on a step.

Paris, 'cos she's got something that gets wider as you jiggle it about (fnaar).

May I be the first...

..to welc.... Oh, forget it!

Touchscreen Gaming

Of course, the real issue with playing games via touchscreen, on a screen that's only a few inches across, is that you can't see naff all when you've got your hand in the way. Electronic versons of card, board and turn-based games work to a degree because you have time to move your hand out of the way between moves to see what's happening. Try playing a FPS game (or another fast-paced genre) and you're sunk. Particularly on the iPhone, where you may be expected to use more than one digit!

The DS gets 'round this with an additional screen for control (e.g. Metroid) and the PSP doesn't seem to bother with touch at all. Both work as games machines and both do well in pretty much owning the portable gaming market.

Maybe Apple just need to put more 'proper' buttons on the iPhone..... or not.

Heart, because I love my PSP...even without a touchscreen |;o)

Violence??

"The BSA may claim the difference between the two crimes is just the level of violence.."

That'll be an interesting claim. Does copying any type of media actually constitute violence? Also, high-sea piracy also involves the taking and vandalism of actual, tangible entities. Copying media doesn't.

BSA = Bloody Stupid Arseholes!

Emergency Numbers

Every mobile I've owned has still allowed me to dial 999 (or 112) when the keypad lock is on. This means that wallet, keys, table edges and anything else I clumsily stumble into has a pretty good chance of hitting one of the still-active keys. Perhaps US 'cells' keep the 9 and 1 keys active in case of emergency.

Still, the perp was caught and, in true US style, his parents/guardians are taking legal action against the local law enforcement community for removing the little gits right to sell on his ill-gotten gains without intervention.*

Paris, 'cos her mobile's set to vibrate.... I think.

*Probably!

FAIL!

(sigh) this is terrible. Normally I support 'Leccy Tech initiatives, but this is totally appalling! The price is nearly as ridiculous as the looks. For a shade off 4 grand you can get a second hand Corsa in good nick that is easy to park, has a boot you can fit more than a tin of beans in and also offers the functionality of up to 4 passengers.

Auto manufacturers need to come up with viable solutions for electric vehicles. Preferably solutions which actually use all 4 wheels. How this thing will stop in wet/snowy/icy conditions will be an entertaining revelation if nothing else.

Patris, 'cos she's got 'leccy tech....

Sci;fi

Yes, but will the bacon sarnie be available in pill form, like most 50's-styled sci-fi stories?

Shock!

What?! Corruption and criminal activity in the American real estate business arena??

Shocking!

</sarcasm>

OK, Here we go..

Are we to expect the World Race Lobby to start screaming that it's totally unacceptable to have a black figure wielding lethal weaponry? I notice that none of the 'white' presidents were portrayed in such a manner (although Reagan did have guns in a couple of westerns..).

Just a thought......

Stop, 'cos it's bound to start!

Interesting

Most of my game-playing mates who own a Wii also have a PS3. The two consoles are pretty incomparable, too; the Wii is great for flailing around the living room with your pals, but is of a (relatively) low spec. But it makes up for it in out-and-out fun. The PS3 has a much higher spec and is well-suited to those of us who like to sit on our fat arses and play kick-ass games. Either way, all 3 main formats (Wii, PS3, Xbox) have large enough user-bases to keep them viable for their respective manufacturers.

@ Matt Taylor - True. Sony STILL have a fairly substantial market slice with the PS2. Glad someone pointed it out!!

Incidentally, does anyone know if the price slashing on 360s ties in with M$ losing the HD movie format war?

@Flugal

You total GIT!!

You owe me a new laptop after I laughed coffee through my nose after reading your comment...!

Mine's the one with the hanky in the pocket..

Brill

Made my day.

Fated

As sad as this story is - my sincere condolencies to the family of the deceased - I can't help but wonder what the anti-violent-game lobby will be saying. Are we to expect messages warning us that playing GTA (or similar) may seriously endager OUR lives?

If gamers state that the victim was harmless and only amusing herself the retort will be along the lines of: 'Oh, come on. This is an isolated case! It has no bearing on gamers being in danger.'

We'll just have to wait and see what is said now the boot is on the other foot.

Car? What car??

Sod the cars. How about half a million more of those hot chicks in the white hot-pants on our roads. AND with a subsidy!

Got any more pics. I want to check my workplaces, er, wifi coverage in the men's bogs......

Paris, 'cos, well, actually, no need to ask...

Touchscreen? Dead People..?

First I was unimpressed with the unit's lack of touchscreen. I mean, why not? Everything has a touchscreen nowadays. Seems a pointless omission to me.

But then I was TOTALLY impressed by the fact that you can call your dear departed ones. Even fictional characters like Steptoe!! I can't wait to get one and call The Three Stooges...

Bravo

And to think we all watched out for the 'Leccy Tech stories.

Bring on the steam-powered Lambo.....

Tw@s The Lot Of 'Em

Christ on a bike! What makes this idiot believe his house is so damned good I (or anybody) would want to surf the 'net for a frigging picture?? There are more affluent areas in the UK for ne'er-do-wells to haunt if they feel so inclined.

Until we have absolute confirmation that Streetview ACTUALLY increases crime I'll carry on using it for what it was intended for - subtle voyerism and checking out hot, blurry-faced birds on the high street.

Stop, because that berk needs to!

Totally Agree

Bloody students should pay the same as the rest of us hard-working, tax-paying citizens. They complain endlessly about being skint and that their grant cheques should be bigger and more should be done for them, but they always shop in flipping Sainsbury's, buy Stella Feckin' Artois and sport state-of-the-art laptops!!!

Bring back National Service and sort the scruffy, long-haired hooligans out!!

<\pre-1970's rant>

Utter Bollocks!

I own a PS3 and was asked to take part in this survey, but I couldn't because I was shagging my missus at the time.

Actually, if you do it doggy-style you can BOTH play and shag at the SAME TIME....!

Yep, it's pricey...

..but I still want one!

I'm sure the Anti-Mac Brigade will comment in abundance, telling us all how much better their 'gaming' machine is (and also how much cheaper). But, I like Macs. And I like this. So there!

Paris, 'cos RAM, slot, etc. all have slightly sexual conoctations....etc...

Robocop? Pah!

Come on, guys! Robocop is SO off the mark.

I remember, in the often overlooked and under-appreciated film, Sneakers, River Phoenix's character managed to get the complete blueprints of Ben Kingsley's character's head office for just 50 bucks from the local County Records Office (he took the 50 bucks from Dan Ackroyd's character's wallet!).

All the US military has to do is send some geeky teenager to the local County Records Office of the building they need the info on and hand over 50 dollars. By my reckoning they can get the full flippin' blueprints of hundreds of buildings for the development costs alone.

Paris, 'cos she's got blue prints, too!

Yahoo!?

Far be it from me to pass negative comment on any El Reg story, but is the reason a point was made of the killer being a Yahoo! engineer purely to justify the story's existence in an IT-based newssite?

This is a tragic and sad story, and my heart goes out to all those affected. His widow now has to deal with a return to full health while trying to come to terms with a destroyed family and the associated traumatic memories.

Cool

This looks well cool, but there only appears to be an out-rigger on the right-hand side of the craft. This would make a fast right turns through the streets of Old London very precarious..

Paris, 'cos her emissions are far from zero (probably)

Incompetence

Busineses and organisations have been using 'computer error' -themed excuses for misguided correspondence for two decades now. How is it we can laud over our technological advancements in medicine, space exploration and criminology, yet we are still not capable of checking if a letter is being sent to the wrong people?

This is NOT a computer error. This is a HUMAN error and the sooner these incompetents stop blaming everything other than themselves the sooner we can actually move civilisation forward a bit!

</rant>

Sticking Plaster

While I wholeheartedly agree with any course of action which highlights awareness of violence to ANYONE (including women and children) I can't help feeling that the approach is treating the symptom and not the cause.

What we need is a law which makes it illegal to physically or mentally abuse anybody, regardless of age, gender, creed, race, social standing, sexuality, etc.

What's that? We DO have such a law?? Y'know - you really wouldn't think so. We're so effing soft in this country that the perpetrators of the crimes get better legal protection than the victims. and it's FREE!

Mine's the one with the piss taken out of it!

@ Mike JVX - Scalextric..

Mike, how the HELL would we turn corners...!

Now, if you remember TCR from the early 80's.... You could (nearly) steer those babies!!

Paris, 'cos she knows about slot racing!

Utter Scheisse

While the recent shooting in Winnenden was horrific (my heart really does go out to all those affected) this is just typical, knee-jerk, finger-pointing rubbish. Society NEEDS someone to blame, so let's blame...erm... Pop music! No, that's too 1970's. How about horror films! Nope - blamed them in the 80's. Ooh! Violent video games. We did well blaming THOSE in the 90's. Perhaps we can eake a little more milage out of that bandwagon. Perfect!

The fact is Tim Kretschmer played video games. Particularly Counter Strike, by all accounts. He also ate food, wore clothes and brushed his teeth. Every day! He was also pretty good at table tennis. Played it all the time. Apparently he was pretty damn good. But table tennis is completely incapable of turning normal, smart kids into murderers.

Unfortunately video games will continue to get the blame for this type of activity because those pointing the finger simply don't understand the concept of video games. But we need not worry. Money talks, and as long as the 'violent' video game industry hauls in 9-figure dollar values NOBODY in 'proper' authority will want to stop them.

Sad, sad day.

When I were a lad...

..lorry drivers read MAPS to find the best route. The companies they worked for supplied known routes and even alternatives for dealing roadworks and blackspots (well, the company my uncle worked for did).

TwatNavs have dumbed down almost everyone who uses them. Yes, they are good in a lot of cases, with the likes of MapShare (or whatever it's called) allowing users to proactively update maps to take into account new junctions, traffic directions, etc. but at the end of the day if we all grew enough fecking brains to read a damn map, perhaps the average competence of the average motorist would improve... But we won't, so IT won't (sigh).

STOP, because it's only a matter of time..

Er...

How much are they?? 1.01GBP?? Hmm </glib>

I don't know if my local 'bab outlet will 'cook [me] one in the time it takes to boil a kettle'. Most 'babs are uncooked to ensure timely bodily ejection, complete with a satisfying projectile factor.

Can we have a Playmobil mock up..?

Paris, 'cos she's got a badly-packed kebab... I think.

Hmm..

OK, so DVD rentals have been taken OFF the list, yet internet DVD rentals are still classed as en vogue (assuming you mean the actual films and NOT the players).

I find this somewhat hard to believe. My local Blockbuster is rammed with folk renting, mostly, DVDs, with relatively few Blu-ray titles being (i)available, or (ii)rented. Also, I only know a handful of folk who use internet DVD rental services.

Perhaps if the ONS actually did research......... ho hum...

Paris, 'cos it's 20-to-8 here in Hannover and I'm still at work and want a beer...

Hot Stuff!

I like this! Maybe someone can turn an old SNES into a toaster...?

Actually, the very early UK release NES machines are refered to as 'toasters', due to their blocky, bulky, toaster-ish shape.

@Gary F

A good point (nice to see actual figures). However, to be certain whether or not electric cars ARE actually responsible for causing more pollution we need to consider the total pollution caused end-to-end.

So, how much pollution does an oil rig, tanker (boat), tanker (road), refinery, tanker (road, again), petrol station and, finally, car produce, compared to:

Coal mine, train, powerstation (generation), transmission, car.

I'm not taking the p*ss here - I'm actually curious. Anybody got any figures for this (then we can stop the arguments and look forward to 200mph electric cars - cleaner or not!).

...it's late

Well, it's nearly midnight and I'm drinking what the Germans call bier and slobbing about on the free wifi the bar provides...

all I can think of to say (other than I'm so drunk I can't ne arsed to rectify the spelling) is that I'm shocked that a gang would choose WALMART as a venue for an icing. I mean, that's like frigging ASDA here. Big-effing-shot!

'night....

Paris, cos its late........

Good... And BAD!!

This is blinking typical of the UK: *Here's a good idea. How can we completely miss the boat and ensure our economy and workforce don't get any benefit? Ooh. I know. We'll outsource the solution to an overseas company..!*

What we need is some frigging UK investment. Are we so TOTALLY rubbish at engineering that we can't even design and build charging posts?? Do we HAVE to go outside of our own workforce and ensure other countries' economies benefit? for God's sake, does the government have NO idea that we people in this country who actually WANT to work..?

Nothing against the Americans for getting the contract - perhaps they can make a Brown-shaped attachment and a lead long enough for me to take to his house and stick it up his effing blowhole!!

WTF!

Part of me is impressed with the ingenuity of the assailant. But this pales in comparison to the fact that the cat was classed as a 'weapon'!! I mean, come on, a fecking CAT!! What sort of cat? I can understand deploying a tiger or such like at a hapless target, but hurling a Prussian Blue at someone probably won't cut the mustard. Plus, if you own more than one cat, does this constitute an arsenal?

Only in America, folks.....(drifts off to Mayor West's Cat Launcher in Family Guy..).

And she used water.. After the cat!? Cats hate water. Cat gets upset. Claws man to death... Inventive..

Paris, 'cos she's got a wet cat... ahem..

Nice, but pricey.

Looks good, but you can pick up HD projectors for around 1000GBP at the moment that give a better viewing area.

Still, it's a smart-looking set. Makes my Sony Trinitron look well old now.

Paris, because she's pretty good for 42 inches.... apparently.

Chaos Theory

What? Has nobody considered the devastating outcome of systematically wiping out the ENTIRE mosquito population?? the knock-on effects could be horrendous; insects that feed on these insects will die out and the whole food chain will dissolve!!

Alternatively the mosquitos may mutate and become huge, laser-powered death-bringers, wreaking havoc on our poor, defenceless planet.... I for one...etc...

Bonkers!

I'm confused: When my motorbike got nicked I was told it was my 'own fault for parking it in a not-very-safe-place.' When my mate's satnav got nicked he was told it was his 'own fault for leaving it on show.' AND when my nephew was mugged for his fecking mobile phone he was told it was his 'own fault for showing it off in public!'

Now, a record company is crying into its milk because someone distributed a pre-release of a new album and all of a sudden it's NOT the record company's fault for being so frigging INCOMPETENT that it couldn't keep it safe! The company in question learned a lesson here - keep your products safe FFS. This is YOUR FAULT!!

<..and, breathe..>

BTW - Did I read somewhere that Slash isn't even on this album..? Jeeze...

@ ..Lechers

OK, checked her out. The hair is totally mad!!

Still, looks OK, so we will definitely need a bikini shot (hers or otherwise, Hans..!).

Maybe she also has a tattoo... somewhere...

Paris, 'cos I'm off for a.. er... well... ..

Poor Micky D..

...only 12bn bucks to his name. Let's all start a campaign to help the poor, desolate sod out.

On second thoughts, let's not!

Paris, because she's obviously had her fair share of bucks (sic).

Fantastic!

Good going, MK Council. I'll definitely be there (again) this Summer!

COOL!

That AX would be effing brilliant with a 2-litre, twin turbo shoe-horned into it!! Even easier, drop in a nice 900cc Speed Triple!

Defeats the purpose of leccy power, I know, but, come on!

Paris, 'cos she goes like a Speed Triple (apparently).