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* Posts by Evil Auditor

1376 posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

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Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS

Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: Cute!

Good that internet isn't that far developed, otherwise I'd have accused you of infecting me.

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iPAD-FONDLING fanboi sparks SECURITY ALERT at Sydney airport

Evil Auditor
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Stop

Muppets. And for once I don't mean the fondleslabbed zombie.

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Who.is does the Harlem Shake

Evil Auditor
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Re: What an awesome way to demonstrate a vunerability

Thumb up! Despite the misuse of awesome ;)

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Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

Evil Auditor
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Trollface

To all conspiracy muppets out there

So, Nvidia was bought by NASA.

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Oh God the RUBBER on my SHAFT has gone wrong and is STICKING to things

Evil Auditor
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Re keyboard life-forms

That's why I take the keyboard to the sink every couple of months. Not that I'd mind the life-forms per se. But I can't stand when it bites my fingers when I fall asleep again at work.

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Ballmer PERSONALLY wrote Windows' Blue Screen of Death text

Evil Auditor
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Re: Give rhe devil his due .,,

Couldn't agree more.

Had to make use of this bloody BSOD while developing NT device drivers. Still have nightmares of useless dumps popping at my head.

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Sex is great in books, lousy in apps, says Apple

Evil Auditor
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Re: "Sex is great in books.... "

They wouldn't know for sure. They have only read about it.

Phew... there was me, being scared to death by the thought that they might even procreate...

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Evil Auditor
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Joke

"Sex is great in books.... "

And I thought sex was great having. Stupid me! You live and learn...

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Crack team weighs LOHAN's substantial box

Evil Auditor
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Re: "Seven" and "one"

Strange life-forms, those missuses. I mean, I don't give a toss about football, being it any cup or not. And she hates football. Unless another WC comes along... Seven and one would, unfortunately, only partly work as there are another two nations incorporated into her.

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Uber alles... nein! Deutschland imposes NATIONWIDE BAN on taxi app

Evil Auditor
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The temporary injunction only bans Uber from arranging taxi services with unlicensed drivers (given they charge more than the pure cost of operation). As far as I'm concerned, I can neither see why this should be a bad thing or prevent progress. It only seems that Uber needs to vet its drivers. If I want some unlicensed drivers I can make use of one of the illegal minicab drivers that loiter in the early hours around London's night clubs.

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Russia: SEXY LIZARDS which landed FROM SPACE are all DEAD

Evil Auditor
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Re: Geckos! Frozen Geckos!

They all taste like chicken.

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Evil Auditor
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"Hope they were insured!"

Who, the geckos or Roscosmos?

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If you think 3D printing is just firing blanks, just you wait

Evil Auditor
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"Fuck yeah!"

You're being ironic about irony...?

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Evil Auditor
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Boffin

Re: Excellent

it might explain other strange phenomena like odd socks being eaten by the washing machine

This has already sufficiently been explained and got nothing to do with crazy universe models: it's the other pieces of clothing agreeing on sacrificing a sock to the Great God of Washing. Proof: put only one sock on its own through the washing cycle and it won't disappear - socks usually are not suicidal.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Evil Auditor
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Re "which could potentially bypass missile defences"

On a more serious note, I'd say it could potentially bypass today's missile defences. Once such weapons become feasible surely the development of defence systems wouldn't stagnate.

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Evil Auditor
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"Happily no one was hurt"

No dauntless playmonaut on board? No wonder it failed.

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Huawei: 'Tizen has no chance', Windows Phone is 'difficult'... it's Android all the way

Evil Auditor
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Coat

Re "...can lead to internal friction"

internal friction aka corporate masturbation.

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'Leccy racer whacks petrols in Oz race

Evil Auditor
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Coat

Re: Torque

nah, that'd be "nM"

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Brit Sci-Fi author Alastair Reynolds says MS Word 'drives me to distraction'

Evil Auditor
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SF writers may be technophobes. I'm neither of which. But I still think MS Word is crap for writing anything more than a couple of pages.

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

"Microsoft is losing the hearts and minds of British Science Fiction writers"

Both of them.

SCNR

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I’ve never paid for it in my life... we are talking Wi-Fi, right?

Evil Auditor
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Re: must be a Europe thing?

MondoMan, not only in the US where the lower-to-middle end hotel chains supply...free wifi and others don't. Yes, I'm looking e.g. at you, bloody Renaissance in Brussels.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Evil Auditor
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Lucy wins

No matter what. She's everywhere.

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The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

Evil Auditor
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Re: Nubile young women lusting...

Dude, I see what you mean. That's why you should retire to the cave you emerged from. Shoo!

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Which audio format sounds better?

Evil Auditor
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Which audio format sounds better?

There's an interesting Gruaniad article on "how much difference is there between MP3, CD and 24-bit audio?" So far so good. Unfortunately, not a blind and let alone a double blind test was applied and hence, as any ful no, the conclusions are utter bollocks.

It's about data, data transformation, data compression and science. Wouldn't you, El Reg, not be in a much better position to do such research the proper scientific way? (Heck, I might even try to attempt it myself if I found some time...)

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Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

Evil Auditor
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Paris Hilton

Can someone please help me?

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari ... but it turns out that his former employer Atari had even better balls than him

It's not my brightest day, I'm almost falling asleep and I just can't relate the headline to the article.

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Nuke regulator hacked three times in three years

Evil Auditor
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Re: The mind boggles.

We can only hope you are right, jake, we can only hope...

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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Evil Auditor
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Re: Philosophical question

Did they issue an ASBO?

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Evil Auditor
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Re: umm..

the gras is greener on the other side

So, the poor chicken would continuously be crossing the road until it starves?

(wouldn't be that surprised...)

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Re: Ever kept chickens?

Of course, it's brain-dead. I mean, it successfully committed suicide, ceased to exist, popped its clogs, kicked the bucket: dead, brain-dead!

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Japanese boffins invent 4.4 TREEELLION frames per second camera

Evil Auditor
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How may snaps in a row?

They didn't mention that the camera can only capture one frame at that speed before having to recover for umpteen milliseconds. Of course, I don't know - I'm just asking.

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Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Evil Auditor
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Re: Aiding and Abetting?

...wannabe crime novelists and fifty people with ghoulish imaginations...

Shoot 'em all! I thought current custom was to at least ban them from flying?

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Vulture 2 strapped to speeding van before delicate brain surgery

Evil Auditor
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Re: As always, good work

I agree.

And to misquote you "a single spike mounted into the rear", you are a bit of a pervert. (Or is that me?)

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Evil Auditor
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Happy

"Yes, we know, the weekend has come early this week...."

Indeed, that's my last working day of the week - for the whole nation here, apparently. How did you know?

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Kiwi Rocket Lab to build SUPER-CHEAP sat launchers (anyone know 30 rocket scientists?)

Evil Auditor
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Devil

110kg payload

That's just enough to send my boss into space. $5m you say? Put it on travel expenses, but make sure he signs it before his departure.

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

Evil Auditor
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Re: Water supplies?

Drop by if you need a glass of water.

JeffyPoooh, you aren't American, are you? Otherwise you'd be armed to your teeth to protect your well from every intruder. Anyway, around here it's also wells. And if someone makes it to my place he/she's very welcome to get some water, even more than a glass.

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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Evil Auditor
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Re: US Immigration

Can't really confirm the absence of humour. When I arrived there with the significant other, we were asked for how long we've been together. "How long?! And you aren't married? Go to Vegas!!"

Then again, probably he was serious... But at least friendly.

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Re: Do you suppose it's suspicious...

Not only suspicious. I'd certainly say you are a TERRORIST!

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METRE-LONG DINOSAUR POO going under the hammer

Evil Auditor
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Re: Nah... if it had been dumped from the air

Splattered, yes. The much smaller seagull poo splatters as well but it's still freaking disgusting if it hits you.

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The seven nations where SIM CARDS outnumber PEOPLE

Evil Auditor
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Joke

Re: Heh.

I don't believe you. If you were in Mexico you wouldn't be able to post that quickly.

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Are you broke? Good with electronics? Build a better AC/DC box, get back in black with $1m

Evil Auditor
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Title fail?

AC/DC != DC/AC

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SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

I beg to differ. This being El Reg's comments I crossed out the "right" word.

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Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

Wow! Können wir starten einen Deutschen thread in El Reg starten?

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Evil Auditor
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Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik"

Nein, leserlich ist es schon, nur etwas zerfrickelt.

Gut für uns grammar Nazis! (Guys, what's grammar nazi in German?)

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Evil Auditor
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Headmaster

Vorsprung durch Grossdatentechnik, is rather what they'd like to say in Germany.

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Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

Evil Auditor
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Trollface

I do understand why the driver abandoned the car when Adele came on stereo. But wouldn't it be easier to simply switch it off or to a different radio station?

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Banning handheld phone use by drivers had NO effect on accident rate - study

Evil Auditor
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Re: It does make a difference

Couldn't agree more (well, the case with the drunk in the backseat sounds rather silly though).

Now for something completely off topic but as you being a Scottish cop, by any chance do you happen to be in Aberdeenshire? You know, your indeed very friendly colleagues in Fraserburgh still have a 35mm film roll or two of mine, which they were supposed to send me back about ten years ago... Guess I have to write them off, don't I? ;-)

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Evil Auditor
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"... it is no more distracting that talking to the passengers who are in the car with you"

No.

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Evil Auditor
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Handheld vs hands-free

Besides the obvious "banning didn't affect the use" comment, IIRC there were already studies which showed that whether using a mobile handheld or hands-free didn't really make a difference and both distracted the driver equally.

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Evil Auditor
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Back then (the original three) they were just great! It's space, it's light sabers, it's laser guns, and a girl - what's not to like. Years later I sat in the cinema for Episode I. And fell asleep instantly. Couldn't be bothered to watch any other one - did I miss something?

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