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* Posts by Evil Auditor

1362 posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

Evil Auditor
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Boffin

Re: Excellent

it might explain other strange phenomena like odd socks being eaten by the washing machine

This has already sufficiently been explained and got nothing to do with crazy universe models: it's the other pieces of clothing agreeing on sacrificing a sock to the Great God of Washing. Proof: put only one sock on its own through the washing cycle and it won't disappear - socks usually are not suicidal.

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Experimental hypersonic SUPERMISSILE destroyed 4 SECONDS after US launched it

Evil Auditor
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Re "which could potentially bypass missile defences"

On a more serious note, I'd say it could potentially bypass today's missile defences. Once such weapons become feasible surely the development of defence systems wouldn't stagnate.

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Evil Auditor
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"Happily no one was hurt"

No dauntless playmonaut on board? No wonder it failed.

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Huawei: 'Tizen has no chance', Windows Phone is 'difficult'... it's Android all the way

Evil Auditor
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Coat

Re "...can lead to internal friction"

internal friction aka corporate masturbation.

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'Leccy racer whacks petrols in Oz race

Evil Auditor
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Coat

Re: Torque

nah, that'd be "nM"

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Brit Sci-Fi author Alastair Reynolds says MS Word 'drives me to distraction'

Evil Auditor
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SF writers may be technophobes. I'm neither of which. But I still think MS Word is crap for writing anything more than a couple of pages.

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

"Microsoft is losing the hearts and minds of British Science Fiction writers"

Both of them.

SCNR

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I’ve never paid for it in my life... we are talking Wi-Fi, right?

Evil Auditor
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Re: must be a Europe thing?

MondoMan, not only in the US where the lower-to-middle end hotel chains supply...free wifi and others don't. Yes, I'm looking e.g. at you, bloody Renaissance in Brussels.

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Vampires and Ninjas versus the Alien Jedi Robot Pirates: It's ON

Evil Auditor
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Lucy wins

No matter what. She's everywhere.

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The Register to boldly go where no Vulture has gone before: The WEEKEND

Evil Auditor
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Re: Nubile young women lusting...

Dude, I see what you mean. That's why you should retire to the cave you emerged from. Shoo!

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Which audio format sounds better?

Evil Auditor
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Which audio format sounds better?

There's an interesting Gruaniad article on "how much difference is there between MP3, CD and 24-bit audio?" So far so good. Unfortunately, not a blind and let alone a double blind test was applied and hence, as any ful no, the conclusions are utter bollocks.

It's about data, data transformation, data compression and science. Wouldn't you, El Reg, not be in a much better position to do such research the proper scientific way? (Heck, I might even try to attempt it myself if I found some time...)

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Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

Evil Auditor
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Paris Hilton

Can someone please help me?

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari ... but it turns out that his former employer Atari had even better balls than him

It's not my brightest day, I'm almost falling asleep and I just can't relate the headline to the article.

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Nuke regulator hacked three times in three years

Evil Auditor
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Re: The mind boggles.

We can only hope you are right, jake, we can only hope...

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Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Evil Auditor
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Re: Philosophical question

Did they issue an ASBO?

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Evil Auditor
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Re: umm..

the gras is greener on the other side

So, the poor chicken would continuously be crossing the road until it starves?

(wouldn't be that surprised...)

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Re: Ever kept chickens?

Of course, it's brain-dead. I mean, it successfully committed suicide, ceased to exist, popped its clogs, kicked the bucket: dead, brain-dead!

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Japanese boffins invent 4.4 TREEELLION frames per second camera

Evil Auditor
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How may snaps in a row?

They didn't mention that the camera can only capture one frame at that speed before having to recover for umpteen milliseconds. Of course, I don't know - I'm just asking.

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Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'

Evil Auditor
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Re: Aiding and Abetting?

...wannabe crime novelists and fifty people with ghoulish imaginations...

Shoot 'em all! I thought current custom was to at least ban them from flying?

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Vulture 2 strapped to speeding van before delicate brain surgery

Evil Auditor
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Thumb Up

Re: As always, good work

I agree.

And to misquote you "a single spike mounted into the rear", you are a bit of a pervert. (Or is that me?)

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Evil Auditor
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Happy

"Yes, we know, the weekend has come early this week...."

Indeed, that's my last working day of the week - for the whole nation here, apparently. How did you know?

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Kiwi Rocket Lab to build SUPER-CHEAP sat launchers (anyone know 30 rocket scientists?)

Evil Auditor
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Devil

110kg payload

That's just enough to send my boss into space. $5m you say? Put it on travel expenses, but make sure he signs it before his departure.

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DAYS from end of life as we know it: Boffins tell of solar storm near-miss

Evil Auditor
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Re: Water supplies?

Drop by if you need a glass of water.

JeffyPoooh, you aren't American, are you? Otherwise you'd be armed to your teeth to protect your well from every intruder. Anyway, around here it's also wells. And if someone makes it to my place he/she's very welcome to get some water, even more than a glass.

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NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'

Evil Auditor
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Re: US Immigration

Can't really confirm the absence of humour. When I arrived there with the significant other, we were asked for how long we've been together. "How long?! And you aren't married? Go to Vegas!!"

Then again, probably he was serious... But at least friendly.

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Re: Do you suppose it's suspicious...

Not only suspicious. I'd certainly say you are a TERRORIST!

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METRE-LONG DINOSAUR POO going under the hammer

Evil Auditor
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Re: Nah... if it had been dumped from the air

Splattered, yes. The much smaller seagull poo splatters as well but it's still freaking disgusting if it hits you.

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The seven nations where SIM CARDS outnumber PEOPLE

Evil Auditor
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Joke

Re: Heh.

I don't believe you. If you were in Mexico you wouldn't be able to post that quickly.

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Are you broke? Good with electronics? Build a better AC/DC box, get back in black with $1m

Evil Auditor
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Title fail?

AC/DC != DC/AC

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SAP: It was our Big Data software wot won it for Germany

Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

I beg to differ. This being El Reg's comments I crossed out the "right" word.

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Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik" @AC

Wow! Können wir starten einen Deutschen thread in El Reg starten?

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Evil Auditor
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Re: "Vorsprung durch grossendatatechnik"

Nein, leserlich ist es schon, nur etwas zerfrickelt.

Gut für uns grammar Nazis! (Guys, what's grammar nazi in German?)

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Evil Auditor
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Headmaster

Vorsprung durch Grossdatentechnik, is rather what they'd like to say in Germany.

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Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo

Evil Auditor
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Trollface

I do understand why the driver abandoned the car when Adele came on stereo. But wouldn't it be easier to simply switch it off or to a different radio station?

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Banning handheld phone use by drivers had NO effect on accident rate - study

Evil Auditor
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Re: It does make a difference

Couldn't agree more (well, the case with the drunk in the backseat sounds rather silly though).

Now for something completely off topic but as you being a Scottish cop, by any chance do you happen to be in Aberdeenshire? You know, your indeed very friendly colleagues in Fraserburgh still have a 35mm film roll or two of mine, which they were supposed to send me back about ten years ago... Guess I have to write them off, don't I? ;-)

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Evil Auditor
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"... it is no more distracting that talking to the passengers who are in the car with you"

No.

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Evil Auditor
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Handheld vs hands-free

Besides the obvious "banning didn't affect the use" comment, IIRC there were already studies which showed that whether using a mobile handheld or hands-free didn't really make a difference and both distracted the driver equally.

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Evil Auditor
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Back then (the original three) they were just great! It's space, it's light sabers, it's laser guns, and a girl - what's not to like. Years later I sat in the cinema for Episode I. And fell asleep instantly. Couldn't be bothered to watch any other one - did I miss something?

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Fear a terrifying killer robot revolution? GET A GRIP: Boffins invent cyborg hand for humans

Evil Auditor
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Re: I fear robot rebellion

@Montreal Sean

So, on one hand I wear a robo-hand and in the other carry a cattle prod to defeat it whenever need be?

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Evil Auditor
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Devil

How disappointing!

There was me, expecting something like Thing T. Thing...

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Cops nab suspect using CREEPY facial recog system

Evil Auditor
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Stop

innocent or guilty

The creepy part is not this facial recognition system but that they keep mug shots of innocent people.

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German NSA probe chief mulls spy-busting typewriters

Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: CIA spooks now to go hungry?

Chef is German for "head of" or Boss.

I know, I know. But I chose to ignore...

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Evil Auditor
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Coat

Re: CIA spooks now to go hungry?

But what did he do wrong? Stealing recipes for cooking Kraut and Wurst?

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Microsoft: You NEED bad passwords and should re-use them a lot

Evil Auditor
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"...someone can post stuff in my name."

"The worst that can happen with my setup on el Reg is that someone can post stuff in my name."

Oh well, that happens to me All The Time! All of my silly, offensive or just in general rubbish comments (like this very one) were written by an unknown idiot on the 'net who posts stuff in my name, using my fake e-mail address and simple password.

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Evil Auditor
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Re: spot on

Exactly. Only that for some websites I use unique crap e-mail addresses - when I receive spam on those I know which bastard sold it on.

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Evil Auditor
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Stop

@moiety

It actually is rather sensible advice by those security researchers. I think you should reconsider who the idiot is.

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Programming languages in economics: Cool research, bro, but what about, er, economics?

Evil Auditor
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WTF?

Our focus on speed should not be taken seriously.

Nuff said.

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Will GCHQ furtle this El Reg readers' poll? Team Snowden suggests: Yes

Evil Auditor
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Re: Another worrying thought?

Sarcasm? Where did you see sarcasm?

Anyway, from my experience in dealing with some gov't "officials" they neither understand sarcasm nor irony. But do you believe they could've built a machine to help them with such?

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Evil Auditor
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Devil

Re evil plan

There is no evil plan. It's all for the Greater Good.

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Think Google Glass is creepy? Wait until it READS YOUR MIND

Evil Auditor
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WTF?

I only skim-read the article but what I got was that this mind-reading device is useful for taking hands-free pictures of one's dump? Very useful and hygienic, if someone's interested in that sort of snaps.

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