* Posts by Evil Auditor

1454 posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

City of birth? Why password questions are a terrible idea

Evil Auditor
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Devil

@a_yank_lurker, and the answer is "2 inches".

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Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Re: Even worse

@king of foo, I'm sure your Durchfall has some colour and I don't want to hear any more details about that. But I'd tell you the same as recently told the missus: apricot is a fruit and not a feckin' colour!

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Evil Auditor
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Joke

Re: What is the name of your pet rabbit?

But why the heck would someone name a cat "in 1954"?

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LOHAN's final test flight set to honour PRATCHETT

Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: Boring

Admit it, you are only here to collect down votes.

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Milking cow shot dead by police 'while trying to escape'

Evil Auditor
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Re: Gawd/ess.

And I thought us Yanks were gun-happy.

Not exclusively. There are many gun-happy people all over the world. The difference is, in the UK they have to grab the chance when there's a "rampant" cow around - they can't just shoot people.

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You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

Evil Auditor
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Re: Rap on!

TU for bringing back some memories....

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Singapore's prime minister releases source code for his hand-coded Sudoku-solver

Evil Auditor
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Lee, that's great! If you ever get bored of programming, I'd recommend starting with "Democracy for Dummies".

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HP wag has last laugh at US prez wannabe with carlyfiorina.org snatch

Evil Auditor
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At least, Carly's not afraid of taking unpopular decisions.

But I really liked the part where she said that what she did to HP, she can do with the USA. Fuck it all over, minding her own pocket?

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Boffins' ball barrage bombardment biffs bumbling bimble biped-bot

Evil Auditor
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Devil

ROTM!

Don't make it angry! Around 0:52 you can clearly see that the machine starts a counter attack on the meatsack.

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SEX: Naughty female stegosauruses offered it on a PLATE

Evil Auditor
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Re: Some questions still remain

Wouldn't that require that they be more of an egg sac than hard shelled egg?

Good point! Do we know that they had hard shelled eggs? But I guess that also depends on the kind of sperm cells - what do we know about them? I mean, these were dinosaurs' sperm cells!

Bearing in mind that dinosaurs are largely extinct, their way of reproduction may not have been the most successful...

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Evil Auditor
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Happy

Re: Every schoolboy's favourite dino?

and I still haven't grown up according to my missus

She didn't expect you to grow up, did she?!

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Evil Auditor
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Re: Some questions still remain

On a more serious note, why do we suggest that they even had intercourse - maybe the females laid their unfertilised eggs in a cosy place and the males sprayed over it? Then again, this might have involved a bit too much thinking. Unless, like today's dogs, they "marked" about everywhere...

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Evil Auditor
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Re: Some questions still remain

So, any suggestions as to what went on?

Yep! They'd never existed, hence never bred. God arranged those fossils 6'000 years ago. Full stop.

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Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

Evil Auditor
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Well, back yonks, in another life, I had to deal with Olivetti PCs. Those buggers were a real pain! You couldn't open a case without having your hands and fingers cut. How I wished to shoot them...

When switching to Dell, that was a real treat.

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Evil Auditor
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Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

If it was an HP the bullets would have $99 each - although the gun would only have cost $39.99

It was a Hi-Point; costs hardly more than $39.99.

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White House cyber-general says US must be able to cyber-nuke the worst of the cyber-worst

Evil Auditor
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Another point of view

The White House wants its own cyber-terrorist group.

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Google guru: Android doesn't have malware, it has Potentially Harmful Applications™ instead

Evil Auditor
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FAIL

Malware

It's bloody simple, isn't it? Malware is software on my device that does something without my (implicit or explicit) consent.

Google is probably trying to pull the users up their own reality distortion hole. Problem is, not many will care...

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LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

Evil Auditor
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Re: 2nd picture of dark haired woman

"lovely young lady"?

All I saw was the absence of a proper boffin's pipe.

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We need copyright reform so Belgians can watch cricket, says MEP

Evil Auditor
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Re: Do not

I have great sympathy for not watching any sport on TV. But Tom Maddox, you are totally wrong. Cricket is through and through sports. I'd even argue it's the very definition of sport. It's peaceful, it's relaxed, it's about drinking tea. What else do you need.

Can't understand how any sweaty, straining, overexerting torture can possibly be regarded as sport.

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Boffins brew up FIRST CUPPA in SPAAACE using wireless energy (well, sort of)

Evil Auditor
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Challenges?

"There are a number of challenges to overcome, such as how to send huge structures into space, how to construct them and how to maintain them."

"and how not to fry world and dog"?

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Amazon tries to patent 3D printers on trucks

Evil Auditor
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Re: Good things come to those who wait...

Interesting it is indeed. (Actually not so much...) For example IBM has been providing mobile data centres for years - containers on trucks, full of full racks and power generators, delivered to your door step. I wonder if they ever filed a patent for mobile computing.

I'm not so much questioning Amazon's idea, but much more this being patentable.

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Facebook meets Belgian minister: PLEASE, sir, NOT THE PROBE

Evil Auditor
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Re send them back from whence they came

I think they came from Britain, before Australia was invented. (Being blissfully ignorant of any historical facts)

Seriously, they can't be banned because they are to us what Elbonia is to Scott Adams.

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For pity's sake, you FOOL! DON'T UPGRADE it will make it WORSE

Evil Auditor
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Devil

Decaff soya latte

People who drink this piss hardly deserve any better.

Seriously, I think a lot of us have been there (i.e. update hell, not soya latte). And likely will be again. I wonder when the age of proper IT starts...

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Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use

Evil Auditor
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Re: Marketing/advertising have no ethic, so asking for ethical use is useless...

@Ragarath, I don't agree with you. When I take a portrait, my subject wouldn't be very happy if I left this or that ugly pimple in their face. So I eliminate it or at least tone it down. Is that a lie? You may say so, but no one likes to look at an unpleasant picture, much less so of themselves.

But it doesn't start at post production. Already the way the lighting is set up for taking the picture, to emphasis or attenuate certain features, isn't that a lie, too? I can only guess that you would agree with me that we're not required to only take portraits in harsh front light but can use lighting creatively. So, if someone has an unfavourable feature, I try to set pose and light up to make it look better. And with unfavourable feature and look better I mean in the perception of the model/client.

While some "faults", e.g. a difficult waistline, are easier to "correct" with setting up the shot, others, such as a spot in the face, are easier to "correct" in post-production. Both are "lies". Where is the ethical limit?

Check the terms of reputable press photo agencies, they have stringent conditions - you may change exposure and negligible features (e.g. dust on the lens). For me, with regard to post-production, I wouldn't touch a waistline or double chin etc. But I do "correct" minor, temporary features, like a spot on the nose (not for press though). The limit is that I don't change a material feature of the photo.

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Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

Evil Auditor
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I'm not so worried about the children...

But think of all the guys buying barbies and filling ToyTalk's servers with filthy talk! Poor servers... And don't tell me it's just me having this idea.

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Boffins baffled by the glowing 'plumes' of MARS

Evil Auditor
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Where's amanfrommars, we need you!

Be careful what you wish for...

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In praise of China’s CROONING censors: Company songs NOW!

Evil Auditor
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WTF?

Company song

Back in the early noughties my then employer, one of the large professional services firms, produced a company song with their staff singing. While I elegantly excused myself from the recording event, even more than ten years later this song sometimes is still haunting me.

Now I took two or three minutes to browse through IBM's songbook. This is outright creepy! If it was my company, I'd immediately fire any employee coming up with such obnoxious arse licking of the highest order.

At least now I don't feel so bad about the company song I had to endure. Thank you, Alistair.

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You'll NEVER guess who has bought I Taught Taylor Swift How To Give Head dot-com

Evil Auditor
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Trollface

Going to register...

taylorswifttakethatbit.ch

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It's not the cloud: The problem lies between the chair and the computer – Gartner

Evil Auditor
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Business need

"...agile clouds need agile processes – and processes aren’t changing for the more on-demand, service-oriented world..."

If I understand this correctly, most of the private clouds fail because it was decided to "go cloud" for the sake of cloud and not because there was any business need.

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Skin colour's irrelevant. Just hire competent folk on their merits, FFS

Evil Auditor
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Re: Positive discrimination ...

AC, you forgot to mention that you're the local KKK branch.

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Amazing, cool, wow: Humans naturally use POSITIVE words, and that is GOOD

Evil Auditor
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"always look on the bright side of life"

So do I! Using positive language all the time.

You haven't seen my dark side...

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World's mega-rich tax dodge exposed: Meet the HSBC IT bloke at the heart of damning leak

Evil Auditor
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Re: Appropriate

"There was no need to report his concerns to management. He needed to go right to the appropriate legal authorities."

Actually, there is. As far as I can see, HSBC didn't break any Swiss laws. And even if it did, he would have first needed to raise his concerns with management, if he wanted to avoid legal troubles in Switzerland. Unless a whistle-blower really tried to report an issue internally, it would look rather bad in front of the court and Swiss judges would probably regard it as breach of trading secrecy.

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WATCH IT: It's watching you as you WATCH IT (Your Samsung telly is)

Evil Auditor
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Re: So far, so unsettling

@Christian Berger, I'm glad to hear that. Unfortunately, around here mostly it's "oh, I have nothing to hide..." Alternatively it can also be "I prefer to receive personalised ads" or "if it's for better security..." and also the resigned "they collect these data anyway".

With only a few exceptions.

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Evil Auditor
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Alert

So far, so unsettling

But the real worry is, most people, even if they bothered to read such a privacy policy, wouldn't be concerned at all.

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At the third beep, the Atomic Clock will be 60 ... imprecisely

Evil Auditor
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Trollface

AC, I couldn't agree more! Especially with wind turbines; it's obvious that they slow down the wind. And what happens when the wind gets too slow? As every* pilot knows, when it gets too slow the earth will stall. And then we all die.

*Maybe not every pilot, but even Trans Asia is now making sure that their pilots know.

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Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES

Evil Auditor
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Camel? Pup?

If you look closely, I'm sure you'll find that there's a lot more different than just their tails. Heck! About everything is different! Except both are, usually, covered in a hide. But what this got to do with an plane crash? So far I only knew about flying pigs...

scnr

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Zoinks! Is that Mystery Machine Apple's SELF-DRIVING FAMILY WAGON? You decide

Evil Auditor
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A self-driving car?

You're holding it wrong!

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LICKED: Behold my TOAD-PROOF ERECTION, boasts Aussie boffin

Evil Auditor
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Yes yes, get rid of those toads! But can we first get a first-hand testimonial of one of those Aussie toad lickers, whether it's worth the licking? There must be some among El Reg commentards...

An enquiring mind needs to know.

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O2 notifies data cops 'for courtesy' ... AFTER El Reg intervenes in email phish dustup

Evil Auditor
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Devil

Why do you believe that O2 leaked or sold the data? It's maybe part of their own business case to generate more profit...

Then again, it's very likely that they leaked and sold, too.

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National Lottery website goes TITSUP again

Evil Auditor
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Re: I dreamt the Lotto numbers once

And what on earth made you believe that in the insanity of a dream you would come up with "better" numbers than else?

(Yes, I would've done the same...)

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Virtual Vulture 2 swoops into Spaceport America

Evil Auditor
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Real-life testing?

Are you going to test the autopilot also IRL? I mean before the full-blown LOHAN takeoff.

Not sure if I would though, as it puts the Vulture 2 at quite a risk...

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Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

Evil Auditor
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FAIL

Re: Two on the list are the worst.. one, maybe not.

Phew... I watched only one film on that list but I've seen some real shit, where in comparison Highlander 2* could be considered "good". Now I can only guess how bad the rest of those worst must be...

*Renegade Version

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Evil Auditor
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Re: Adam Sandler

For me he's a seal of quality for stinkers. I'm not going to waste my time on another Sandler flick.

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Microsoft wants LAMP for wireless mobe charger

Evil Auditor
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FAIL

That seems like a clever solution for a really dumb idea.

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Alien Earths are out there: Our home is not 'unique'

Evil Auditor
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Paris Hilton

Re: If at first you don't succeed....skip sky diving.

I hope you're not committing suicide. Anyway, don't know whether the nuclear decay ... replenishing the plant is really a requirement, for kicking off the evolution the ionizing radiation certainly didn't harm. But why, e.g., would flying insects need larger wingspans in a more dense atmosphere?

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Evil Auditor
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Mushroom

No carbon?

I sense the rise of silicon-based life-forms...

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US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

Evil Auditor
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Re: Nobody has answered the important question

Don't know. But now I have this image in my head of a pimply-faces operator at its controls, going 'pew-pew, pew-pew-pew...'

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Evil Auditor
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Re: Ouch, my eyes...

Being blinded is terrible. But I'm not sure if this was my first concern if being hit by this laser cannon...

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Shhhhh! It's a Swiss Sunday shutdown. Kill the lawnmower, punish the kids with CHEESE

Evil Auditor
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@stu 4

You had a bad day, didn't you?

That would explain where your unsubstantiated rant came from...

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Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

Evil Auditor
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Re: Its already here

You beat me to it! It was my exact thought when reading the article. Although before I still wondered why the AI came out now - but it all makes sense!

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