* Posts by Jemma

537 posts • joined 31 Dec 2008

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DVLA misses out on £400m in tax after scrapping paper discs

Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Sorry kiddo, I worked in two hospitals and have seen the result of accidents so understand this because I'll only say it once.

If someone driving a car mashes someone as you so delightfully put it by their own mistake, pissed or sober, or by deliberate stupidity then by all means, the "mashee" is the victim and the person behind the wheel should be dealt with accordingly.

However if the mashee walks out into traffic oblivious, and gets hit, or is distracted and gets hit or is drunk or drugged up and gets "mashed" then it's their fault and the driver should not be punished. I've had people walk out in front of my bike despite the fact it sounds like a wasp being played through a guitar amp. I had a pretty Chinese teenager decide she was going to walk out onto a light controlled crossing when it was my right of way and if I hadn't been watching her going to cross she'd have been mashed - but that's not a victim that's an idiot waiting to breed.

Stop blaming the driver for everything (they're probably traumatised enough already if they've just reduced a teenager to wallpaper paste), it takes two, or more, to cause an accident and I'd like to see police instigate breathalysers for pedestrians in accidents - I'll bet the results will be interesting.

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Jemma

Re: In reality...

So it wasn't the Volvo diesel that sounded like a bag of hammers in a cement mixer played though a concert speaker system from three hundred yards away?

You could hear that thing start up from a different county if the wind was in the right direction.

An old boss had the T5 850, that car was terrifyingly quick but still managed an average of 30+mpg. Note we've got eco-booms and Terribly Sooty Injections that seem to have all the get up and go of an arthritic warthog and the longevity of Boris Johnsons prime ministerial career.

The thought of FIAT and "stop and go" in the same brochure makes my blood run cold, and has already emptied a friends purse.

The right tool for the right job. And don't get me started on Tesla et al; although following a Prius that appeared to be being driven by Jason Plato this afternoon was quite amusing, in a that must be doing about 10mpg sort of way..

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Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Yes, you're completely correct, but it's immaterial whether you're stoned/pissed out of your box or sober.. If you can't see a cyclist or pedestrian because they're wearing black on a bike in pitch black on a single track country road in the middle of nowhere, with a speed differential of up to 50mph they deserve everything they get, it's common bloody sense. I built my autocycle on the basis that it was economical transport, environmentally friendly and could travel (with a tuned pipe at 35-37mph on the flat and just under 30 uphill) at a reasonable speed compared to traffic - I upgraded brakes and lights to the absolute best I could get... Result I'm not dead (notwithstanding the attempts of local Audi drivers).

Ditto the idiots who just wander out in the road as if the 2 tonne BMW SUV driven by a pint sized lass who can barely see over the dashboard doesn't exist.

Then you have the mindless idiot who was towing her two kids down the middle of a busy road in rush hour in the middle of a snowstorm (more like rush slither) and had "done nothing wrong".

It's scientific fact by the way that you are more likely to case a major crash from tiredness than you are from being ratted, simply because in a lot of cases drivers don't realise they are losing concentration until they've buried their landrover in the front of a class 66. Even the traffic reichpiglets admit this, but since you can't test for tiredness, at least not in any quantifiable way, it's easier to put the boot into drug & drink drivers.. Ably supported by "grieving mothers" who conveniently forget to mention the bit where little-miss-whole-life-in-front-of-her had the attention span of a goldfish, the spacial awareness of a narcoleptic sloth, and may or may not have been out of her gourd as well. It's collectively better for the human race that they're removed from the gene pool anyway.

Why do you think tachographs and monitoring systems were installed in trucks and coaches - it wasn't for fun, it was because tired drivers are the most dangerous, so they were made mandatory in those vehicles to combat tiredness. I'd like to see tachographs put in all cars, and the UK made entirely free of booze for a year - I'll bet money the highest reduction will be from tachographs, not lack of alcohol.

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Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

If you see a bright orange Tatra T2 603 going cheap let me know (orange cos its not a good idea to leave them black as they were used by Soviet bloc security forces, people have long memories). A V8 VW beetle with petrol fired central heating, what's not to like but remember the carbon monoxide alarm!

As for the getting shot of the paper discs, everyone could see this coming, except DVLA. Add to that a DVLA computer system that consists of daisy chained ZX Spectrums and a call center straight out of Dilbert and it's only going to get worse..

You're actually more likely to be hit by a tired driver or hit because you were walking out into the road engrossed in your phone or arrogantly assuming traffic light controlled crossings don't apply to you. It annoys me no end when someone whines about a family member getting killed by a drunk driver - and two minutes later you find out said Darwin Award nominee was cycling at 3am with no lights down a road that even locals avoid in the daylight because it's so dangerous.. That's about where my sympathy dries up. Given the standard of driving instructors around here I'd rather take my chances with a load of chronic alcoholics driving Hellcats than the average stone cold sober Bini basher.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

Jemma

Re: Funny thing

Those would be the only destroyers ever built using no armour plate whatsoever, the idea being that the less weight the more speed. It also helped that several of the Japanese cruisers were chronically over gunned and were mainly a danger to themselves (replacing 6" twin gunhouses with 9" or triple 6" was in retrospect not the best Japanese idea).

If I remember rightly the Japanese units weren't fitted with ranging and targeting radars, which made them less effective. Even major fleet units like Kirishima lacked radar gunnery control.

The large calibre shells never hit anything hard enough to trigger the fuses and just punched (lots of) holes, oddly I don't remember any information on if the smaller Japanese calibres failed in the same way.

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EU eyes flaw in Google’s cash machine

Jemma

Could be a big ouchie

Won't be a big ouchie.

If the history of these monopoly investigations things is anything to go by, it'll:

1. Trundle on for years until whatever the outcome is its effectively pointless and worthless.

2. Be kicked into the long grass faster than you can say "public enquiry". Further investigation of said long grass will indicate the presence of that species often found in long grass - the lesser spotted payoff.

3. Be eventually 'resolved' in such a way as everyone involved, apart from oddly enough the EU, knows means absolutely nothing; business will go on as before, and it will all be paid for out of taxes.

3a. Addendum, and most of the mouth breathers won't care either way because they think it doesn't matter cos of Brexit.

And let's be honest, if it isn't Google who's selling our info to ad pedlars, it'll only be someone else. The NHS were only forced to can their attempt cos they were dumb enough to be honest about it.

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Teen thugs lure, rob Pokemon Go gamers

Jemma

Re: Smells Like Bullshit

Not as dumb as you'd think, in days of old people would leave waymarks for others, indicating various things such as good, or bad food, or as kind of reviews for a coaching inn or an ale-house (for example to let people know that this ale-wife hadn't helped her wine to ferment with the addition of chicken poo, and so many did it was a bonafide crime).

Basically it's probably what happens when you get passive/aggressive and paranoid Victor Meldrew types watching Time Team.

Add to that cops whose only relation to an IQ was stopping one for speeding in a 30, and the rest is history.

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Jemma

Re: It's all changed since my fly fishing days.

Ah the days when you could get a 4 day life out of a pair of AA batteries.. I had an Ericsson mc12 palmtop for a while at university, excellent little thing, full keyboard, flashable system ROM and a really quite good Greyscale screen. Even connected to the net via mobile phone over IR.

I think from memory it could run Windows 3.1 and Wolfenstein (say goodbye to your eyeballs, I don't know refresh rate but it was something abysmal) slowly...

Now I feel old too..

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Jemma

Re: or...

Yep, I was thinking of the Vickers, that was a belt, if you could get an option pack on cars, 2 x forward firing MG, idiotic pedestrians for the removal of; I would spec it up first..

Chrysler would probably call it the "roadkill package"

Even without Pokemon:thud I've had people walk out 2 feet in front of me, people walking in the middle of 50mph roads completely oblivious, parents pulling sleds down the middle of the road covered in black ice, teenagers walk across light controlled crossings when it's on green, and one notable nutcase who walked down a busy road as if he were a cruiser zigzagging under air attack, crossed the road back and forth around 15 times in a hundred yards and almost got hit at least three times..

Then we had the army medic who wiped out 7 cars, pissed out of her tree, 3x legal limit, and didn't even get banned from driving on the basis she was "needed for national defence".

When I was a kid we were taught, stop, look and listen and personally shown how long it takes for a car to stop from 30mph, nowadays they do nothing and these idiots seem to think we can stop on a dime, and of course, it's our fault if one of them walks out in front of us with no warning and gets splattered.

I'm sorry, but if it was up to me the policy would be what one science fiction writer called Practical Darwinism, if you're stupid enough to walk into traffic in an apparent daze then you deserve to be taken out of the gene pool, no second chances. And if you are driving and playing Pokemon:Go at the same time, it should be a permanent driving ban by way of a state statute headshot.

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Jemma

or...

Vintage Lewis. 303 machine gun - £400

10 belts ammunition for above - £150

Ridding the world of iZombies - Priceless..

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Jemma

Heavy machine guns for full backs...

This is a wonderful idea for restarting human evolution...

Would even give unemployable criminals a steady paying job for the government...

All they'd need is a 6 hour modded lure module and a GPMG (or a Lewis if they happen to be into steampunk) and just pot the iZombies (thank you) as they get within range. It's a win/win. Society gets rid of those annoying idiots that wander across roads like suicidal roadkill/trip over stones/walk into trees etc and human evolution becomes a viable process again. Darwin would be so pleased.

It'd even help the sadly unbeleagured armaments industry and create more jobs there.

Admittedly there is the sad fact that some of the iZombies may have already bred, but there's always Pokemon:Go II...

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UK.gov wants to fine websites £250,000 if teens watch porn vids

Jemma

Re: To be honest, who cares?

Quotes you hope you'll never hear in a geography class #103

"Sir... I don't think what you are showing us is Florida; I don't think Florida has balls... "

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Jemma

@ Moiety

You answered your own question by word four... Sadly they're the ones in charge, mostly behind the scenes of the school system... C of E school and you don't go to church? Not a hope as an ex gf found out.. Although her four year old, when asked what she wanted to be in church, blurting out "I wanna be a lesbian when I grow up" was priceless. That child had all the tact of a Claymore mine in an orphanage.

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Jemma

Re: To be honest, who cares?

Ah, the every sperm is sacred song. First time I saw that I was almost crying with laughter - how anyone managed to film that with a straight face is beyond me. I'm amazed they got away with it even then, especially that kid doing the soprano solo.

Not to mention the Salmon Mousse & Americans sketch. Including the ubiquitous skidmark brown Volvo estate.

I think my favourite has to be Life of Brian "...stwike him centuwion, vewy woughly" and "blessed are the Greek.." "did anyone catch his name? "

Sadly however the target of the parody is one of the things over the years that has helped royally screwed up generations of sexualities. Godbothering has a lot to answer for in this respect.

As Eric Idle might put it "I hope there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, because there's bugger all down here on earth".

Scary thought - but if we are visited by aliens in the next two years or so by aliens the first people they'll meet will probably be Donnie Dickwit and Theresa May. I don't wanna live on this planet any more... If you put her brain into a Jackdaw it'd burn down the rookery and invade Poland.

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Jemma

Re: And yet premium rate phone numbers ...

Cui Boner?

*Cicero now spinning in grave fast enough to power the Vatican*

I wouldn't be at all surprised to find the govt taxes those somehow.. Either that or half of Westminster has them on speed dial.

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Jemma

To be honest, who cares?

Teenagers watching porn can't screw them up any more than UK secondary school sex education does, it simply isn't possible to make porn that is more damaging to a developing sexuality than the real life version of Monty Pythons meaning of life skit that is STILL taught in our schools.. "you don't go charging for the clitoris like a bull at a gate!... What's wrong with a little kiss boy?!"

I find it amazing as well that a 10 year old can legally choose to end their life if they are terminally Ill but a 19 year old or older can't - not to mention an age of consent that was laid down to make a Victorian brothel keeper very rich and deal with rampant syphilis infection (a 'cure' for this then very nasty disease was to sleep with a virgin..) and we're still defending it like its the holy grail when it's been doing more damage than good for years..

Personally, to paraphrase "let them watch c*ck...".

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UK.gov's hated Care.data project binned

Jemma

Toxic legacy leaking across the NHS...

Which particular one did you mean? The one with the MDR infections.. Or the one with the monumentally poor cancer care? Or the one with the nurses that think once you're over the age of 80 you need to be treated like a patient of Dr Mengele so you can recall happy memories of times gone by..

As far as I can tell the NHS reflects a mixture of the monkey dust "Porton Down" and "NHS" sketches.. And a fair percentage of patients would make extras for the "breakfast fatties" sketch. Look them up - you won't know whether to laugh or contemplate suicide.

Toodles...

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Humans and bees share the same sociability genes

Jemma

As I said, if the retention of growth control genes between archeoforms and more modern organisms has been proven, which it has, then it is an eminently reasonable hypothesis to state that it is likely other gene systems would have evolved once and been retained since.

Since I am entirely unsurprised by this information, I consider it unsurprising.

Neither would I be entirely surprised to find out that autism is linked in some way to archeoform communication genes being active in autism spectrum disorder, whereas they are not in non ASD individuals.

In point of fact a possible hypothesis for that might be an alarm gene in bees, that does what it is supposed to do (acting as a sting something on:off switch) activating in humans, and royally banjaxing their ability to relate to emotions (deleting the ability to see and react to gradations of emotion and the ability to grade their emotions 'normally' in turn). People with serious autism will to react to things in an on:off way - reacting to certain situations in a very extreme way, yet to others there is no reaction at all. It's already known for example that if a pregnant woman is exposed to extreme stress in the 3rd trimester - there is a fundamental change in how the child will process & be affected by cortisol to their detriment (as opposed to children who didn't have the twin towers dropping on their mothers at precisely the wrong time) in comparison to children of unstressed mothers, there is also a corrolation between parental starvation and the immune system in the children (it's substantially weaker).

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Jemma

Nobody's perfect....

Oh wait...

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Jemma

Not a surprise at all, we already know that growth control genes are retained in mammals (and birds/dinosaurs) from very early multicellular life. Why in that case would you reinvent the wheel in the case of communication genes? This isn't a surprising result it's almost blatantly obvious.

What would be worth finding out is any correlations between comms. genes and conditions like autism etc, whether there is a possibility that ancient genes are being reactivated when they shouldn't be and causing the problem (to make an analogy, like trying to run a windows 10 device on a windows 3.1 driver, things are not going to end well).

Humanity seems to love to over complicate matters, assuming that between two very different groups of animals chemistry must be very different, while blethering on about the kiss principle everywhere else. It makes no sense to keep reinventing the wheel when you've got something that works..

I just gotta go feed my Velocichicken...

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My plan to heal this BROKEN, BREXITED BRITAIN

Jemma

Re: BBC opportunity?

But making it a series means fun things like Boris Johnson being offed by means of a red hot spike up the bottom..

On the other hand, Theresa May with dragons...

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Jemma

BBC opportunity?

I had a thought, someone should go do a 6 series documentary on brexit whining with all the lovable characters – they could call it Game of Moans.

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The Microsoft-LinkedIn hookup will be the END of DAYS, I tell you

Jemma

Re: So that'll be another profile to delete then

Not very much point them knowing about them, fantastic or otherwise, since my health is a total wreck and I'm unable to work, and not likely to get any better. It might be worth keeping if I talked to any of the people on it but I don't. As has been mentioned in the UK it's mostly employment agencies or word of mouth, it doesn't seem to have caught on so much here as other places.

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Jemma

So that'll be another profile to delete then. It's not a great loss. It never did anything useful anyway.

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Brit Olympian defies Zika with frozen man oysters

Jemma

Re: Well, no, not really..

Doesn't matter, even if they use frozen sperm, before or after he goes out or gets back, if he's infected he's capable of infecting others. I'm not sure if anyone knows yet whether there is a key window in a pregnancy where Zika can cause it's problems, I know stress in 3rd trimester can cause problems in the resulting child. I've not seen anything that says that an infection after the fact can in no way affect foetus.

All that is over and above the possibility of infected persons radiating out to almost every country in the world with no real way of tracking all their interactions between time of infection and symptomatic infection.

It's basically a really silly idea all round to keep the Olympics in the zone of danger. It's basic epidemiology - but then it's also politics, money and time.. I can sadly guess which will win out.

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Jemma

Well, no, not really..

Freezing sperm is a sensible idea for cancer amongst other diseases. It's not so hot here since if he does get it it can survive in the body for at least 4 months, hiding out in various places including the testicles and blood. Which means, whether the baby is made with frozen wrigglers or not, any pregnancy within 12 months of a Zika infection is a bad idea, not to mention if the partner is infected I've not seen data on how long it lasts in a human female. If it's like some other nasties it could sit in places like the spleen for years.

If I was one of these athletes potentially being put in this situation I'd be saying hell no.

But then maybe I've been playing Plague Inc too long..

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Auto erotic: Self-driving cars will let occupants bonk on the go

Jemma

Re: Just looking at the Google car

There was the guy who was shagging the family Austin Metro, stuck Mr Happy into the exhaust without realising it was hot, and welded his willy into the pipe. They had to cut him free then cut the pipe lengthwise to get him out.. then third degree burns and skin grafts...

...hark, is that the sound of a million buttocks clenching in terror...?

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Jemma

Re: Just looking at the Google car

You'd be surprised what people find erotic.. and then you'd need to find the brain bleach.

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Jemma

KR200 bubble car

There's plenty of room in the Humber Hawk series car next to it, and with the grand total of 80hp, shagging might be the only way to alleviate the boredom of trundling along at 65mph. The Imperial had air suspension and a straight six, so at least you wouldn't make other occupants sick with the bouncing, and it could get out of its own way.

Shagging in a smart car would probably result in major dislocations or someone having to have the stick shift surgically removed..

The kind of dogging an ex was into involved fur and a tail, not the sainsburys carpark...

It's be a brilliant way to restart evolution, put a trip into the system, as soon as shagging is detected the autonomous function switches off... there'd be some funny shaped coffins...

NB: The Ford Transit and the Econoline were two totally different things thank god, Transit being made from the parts bin by engineers to be good to drive using mostly car bits, the Econoline being built using the parts bin by accountants who got kicked out of dentistry college for sadism beyond the call of duty.

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Apple man found dead at Cupertino HQ, gun discovered nearby

Jemma

Re: Where's Jony Ive?

Sweeping Tim Cook's chocolate chimney?

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Jemma

Re: Rates and news?

It's still news per se if a pregnant teenager gets her head blown off with a thirty ought six in a 7/11. But it won't get the same coverage (or any at all if she's black American), even when two people were killed. Everything is news for a given value of news but it's only important to the masses, as far as the media is concerned if it's related to a celebrity, a major company, or in many places (including but not limited to, the Daily Fail offices) an excuse to bash a minority.

This has been picked up by the American mainstream media because it's related to Apple, it's then been reported here because it's Apple, but I doubt we'd even know about it if it happened in the offices of some unknown start up in Redneckbury, TX...

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Jemma

Re: Rates and news?

Sadly, the birth rate cancelled all of them out.

You know, if all the other countries of the World charged America £100 million a time for every foreign victim of gun crime or just gun related idiocy guns would be gone in probably about a decade. Hit them where it hurts, in their wallets. 25% to the home government for costs and the rest to the families affected (although this might cause a macabre version of healthcare holidays.. "you really want to study at Yale don't you dear...)

Feel sorry for the persons concerned but this wouldn't have got the coverage if it wasn't Apple related, and talking of Apple related how on earth is Sculley an "Apple guru"? He damn near bankrupted them. Personally I'd make the new campus into one huge shoot em up level, lock all of Apple inside and leave to soak... The last survivor could then be executed for crimes against humanity, eco crime and if they've been there long enough, aiding and abetting a dangerous sociopath.

The world would be a better place, we'd have phones back that last 3 days on a 900mah battery, and doctors wouldn't be doing skin cancer tests with sodding iPhones (I speak from personal experience).

And finally, in an unrelated note to all Americans. Please don't vote Trump in, if only for this single reason, over and above all the racism and that hair. If there is intelligent life on other planets, and they decide to drop in for a chat... Do you really want the first person they meet to be Donny Dickwit?

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30 years on, Chernobyl wildlife still feeling effects of nuke plant catastrophe

Jemma

Re: Liquidators

I wouldn't disagree they deserve more recognition, although as to the "volunteering" many of them didn't know what radiation levels were because the detectors had literally been cooked, they apparently assumed, for unknown reasons, that when a detector runs to its end stop, it means it is still measuring.

No one ever seems to mention the divers either that drained out the water pools, dead men walking before they got out of the water (think K19 with attitude).

It's also not often mentioned that the Chernobyl style reactors are still being used with safety improvements (built from dead Lancias instead of Wartburgs).

As to not being born, you might be alot closer to the mark than is comfortable - many women terminated perfectly healthy pregnancies because of radiation panics. Abortions immediately after Chernobyl were much higher as a population percentage in several countries.

All in all it reflected badly on all of humanity then, and it still does.. with bits of the sarcophagus rusting away and the rest welded together by YTS trainees it still isn't safe and never will be.

I'm not entirely sure that they "saved Europe", dumping bits of reactor back inside was truly a brave and/or borderline suicidal thing to do, but this would have had a more local effect - the European saviours were the poor sods in the helicopters dropping sand and Boron to dampen the core, a further runaway reaction would have produced another more dangerous plume, probably nastier and highly likely to be in a different direction and possibly a higher plume height - imagine if the fallout cloud climbed into the jet stream or high level high speed winds, as it was, it got to the UK.

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Jemma

Re: I'm surprised that the wolves are doing well

Why?

They're a 50kg animal which can absorb a surprising amount of roentgens, they're feeding, mainly on two animals that secrete most of their own radiation doses in their milk or are babies (hogs & bison respectively), and compared to a 15 gram bird with a metabolism that runs around at 600 heartbeats per minute they're in a perfect position, in fact they're doing, according to the scientists studying them better in most respects, than normal Ukrainian populations..

A better predator to tell whether predators are being affected would probably be a fox, which would find a radiation riddled bird a nice, if potentially lethal, snack. Since they're likely to eat eggs, small mammals, birds and the like, they are much more likely to be affected - not to mention they are a tenth the weight of a wolf, smaller body means higher surface area to mass ratio which is bad when you're licking your balls perched comfortably on a nice warm piece of graphite...

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JAXA confirms ASTRO-H breakup

Jemma

Units 1 through 4 were unsuccessful...

If they mention hiring a Dr Richard Daystrom it's probably time to run..

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Japan loses contact with new space 'scope just weeks after launch

Jemma

Weird messages...

<I've decided I want to have a specs change..>

<From now on I want to be called.. Nomad.. >

<EOL>

<message ends>

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Iain Duncan Smith's Universal Credit: A timeline

Jemma

Re: existing system and new idea

Well at least he hasn't decided he wanted to be called Loretta.. A transvestite/transexual IDS, that's a thought as buttock cringingly awful as an Ann Widdecombe lapdance..

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Jemma

The secret diaries of Iain Duncan Smith, part the second..

Day 1021: Find out Gollum, all right, all right, George Osborne, actually Witch King of Angmar's nephew. Should have guessed, explains why Theresa May goes all Rudolf Hess and drools whenever in same room... Even creepier than hook handed terrorist crush..

Day 1028: In retrospect using Orc programmers not the best idea, but not as bad as their idea to use Ada for the coding, still we can always blame windows 8..

Day 1029: Most job centres still using Windows for Workgroups... Bugger.

Day 1035: Find out that Euro MPs get more money for less work than even I do. Most offended. In other news Theresa spending a lot of time 'straightening Gollum's tie'.. Would be convinced of innocence of that, if for some reason they didn't need to do it in broom cupboard...

Day 1050: Ooohh, a referendum on Europe, poor old Dave, he will soon, I suspect, enjoy the full Corporal Jones experience. He won't like it up 'im.. At least not without KY.

Day 1051: Eureka! Have figured it out. If I resign I can stuff them all at the same time.. No more Euro MPs, no more Dodgy Dave, no more whinging peons AND I can blame Gollum, totally stuff the party (oh you of little reality) and get away with it..

Day 1052: blamed Gollum for being too nasty to the peons (if you don't drive them ALL to suicide you can harvest them again, benefits claimants don't grow well if you plant them, but they make good fertilizer..). Went on Andrew Marr show, he saw right through it. Pesky Andrew Marr.

Day 1053: Relaxation, no more Gollum, no more Theresa. Looking forward to holiday somewhere rural and unspoiled, someone recommended The Shire, at least I think that's what he said.. I don't profess to understand the thing about pervy hobbit fanciers (maybe he means Liberal Democrat counsellors); Didn't feel like asking for details. I will miss the looks on young Conservatives faces when Ann. W did the bellydancing at conference, I thought it was only Orcs who had greeny-grey skin and bulging eyes..

Day 1060: Resignation horrible mistake! One more episode of Time Team or Quincy will take the gentleman's way out. Had high hopes for Four in a Bed, turned out not to be East Anglian dogging show. Most disappointed, turned out to be odd couples playing hunt the bathroom pubes for cash prize, Ick, almost as bad as Balrog porn (see Ann.W); After all I paid my TV licence and I only have 5 TVs. On other note, wondering why short hairy archaeology presenters on mind so much.. It's always the one with his favourite spade.. But Mick will kill me if I try anything..

Day 1061: Umm, why does that man in the pullover look so familiar...

----

Thanks to Cassandra Clare and the Secret Diaries.

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Is this the last ever Lumia?

Jemma

Re: Epic Fail

So, you'd be tired of your kneecaps then?

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Who would code a self-destruct feature into their own web browser? Oh, hello, Apple

Jemma

Re: Perhaps...

A friends dad solved that problem, made her watch the entirety of The World at War, at the age of three. Permanently traumatised her but Disney never got a look in. Has anyone else found kiddies TV mildly horrifying recently? Cross-dressing Jimmy Saville cringe-alikes for the 2 year olds and foot fetishist lemurs and the Penguin Separatist Front for the older ones, not to mention the bring-out-yer-gays homopalooza that is Spongebob. cBeebies, creating psychopaths with your TV licence. Not to forget airborne flamethrowers with a side order of unstabilised projectiles and lava vomit (all in a good cause naturally) sort of America in Vietnam for 8 year olds (unsanctioned massacres that didn't happen anyway, not included). And differently able Vikings making a contribution to society..

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Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Jemma

Re: Tell Apple how you feel

Sorry, UNIX not really my thing, although it's not the only mainframe command the iPhone series use - the other is halt and catch fire..

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Jemma

Re: Tell Apple how you feel

In other news Apple finds a new use for the Dev_null command...

Apple listening to customers is about as likely as Teresa May listening to reality.

I honestly wonder how long Apple would have lasted if they hadn't used the "mind control" method of customer service? Remember they've imploded at least once before, under Sculley, God willing it'll happen again.. Sadly the new dark lord is doing fairly well..

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Jemma

This is one of the many reasons I won't touch or have anything to do with Apple kit. Back in the day it was beige macs with cases made out of finest razor blades, actually designed to do support people injuries, then it was the lock down Nazi's - you will have our system as we like it and if it serves up porn to your 7 year old, hard cheese.

It beggars belief that Apple customers let them charge three times what the device is worth, spec for spec, then screw them on software updates and app store mind control, then try and lock them into authorised repair places - and the in-duh-viduals still go out and buy another.

I'm going to get alot of hassle for this but I think the smartphone should not be a democratic device - if you can't use Android, Sailfish or any of the others without having brain wibbles, it would be better if you didn't use them - back in the day we had all sorts of innovative designs for phones, with reasonable amounts of memory and 3-4 day battery life, multiple folders, flips, slides, twists, the Nokia N Series for example.. What do we have now? Oversized slabs, with sloppy software, memory guzzling, palm frying tat - because apple told us to, all hail apple, serving the lowest common denominator for too long - and worse, dragging everyone else down with it. Samsung to be fair aren't any better, but at least they just copied Apple, they weren't guilty of killing innovation in the smartphone world.

As far as I can tell this is also illegal under EU law but since when has legality stopped Apple - interesting that they've pulled and replaced 2 pin chargers recently - I suspect paying off the families of the people they electrocuted was getting too expensive..

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Head transplant candidate sells souvenirs to fund operation

Jemma

Blue Screen of Death? A sneeze too far?

I hate to imagine how you'd three finger salute a human body.. Jam two fingers up his butt while twisting his left nipple for 5 seconds if its anything like an Android phone. It'd probably be fun finding out..

I wonder also how you write Davros in Russian?

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Why the Sun is setting on the Boeing 747

Jemma

Re: Losing engines - Memphis Belle

That's the one, the B-17 was known internally at Boeing as the type 299 and was an unrequested private design hence it's Y1 prefix when tested. Neither of the air forces asked for it, Boeing just went ahead and built the prototypes off the experience of the B-15 which if I remember was even bigger in some respects than the B-29 but built in 35/36.

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Jemma

Losing engines

Kinda reminds me of a film quote...

Co-pilot "uh, how long can we fly on one engine?"

Pilot "I guess we're about to find out... "

Not a 747 but a Boeing type 299. Anyone know the film?

- This comment is dedicated to all the Americans who fought in the Crusades -

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Cunning Greek lizards seek skin-matching rocks

Jemma

Re: Too many husbands..

They're also venomous as are all the Varanids to a greater or lesser extent.. But even Komodo can get so tame one examples favourite game was to be led around by a three year old girl by her hand on it's tail and some have been said to let young kids ride them, although you wouldn't catch me having a child attempt it, either someone's going to get bit, or the lizard will disappear into the distance at 15-20mph with kiddie holding on for dear life. People really don't give reptiles credit for their intelligence and ability to bond with a person, a nervous Tegu will come back to their owner and curl up on their feet or lap, mine has done that. Mine has mapped my flat.. And knows the way back to his nice warm bedroom wherever I put him down.

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Jemma

Re: Too many husbands..

Your friends might have been quite lucky, a 6ft water monitor is more than capable of causing serious harm, up to and including crocodilian style death rolls while biting hands, fingers. Any cuts or blood and they can go into feeding mode, and then you'd better be a really fast runner or good at climbing trees. If your friends were in a hotel then the monitor might be more or less tame.. They are very intelligent and soon learn its easier to let the funny two legs give them food than try and eat one. My Tegu loves eggs, salmon, mice and of all things roast chicken from sainsburys.

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Jemma

Too many husbands..

Many of the smaller teiids have got this problem solved. They don't have males at all, they all reproduce by parthenogenesis, alternating between years when one will play daddy and the next year the other will. Larger members of the teiids don't do this, which when the largest extreme b&w tegu can get to 5ft and 7-8kg is probably no bad thing.

Some monitor lizards in a female only environment will do this too including the Komodo.

As to seeing them, when a small lizard is still they're the very devil to see, and if it's seen you you don't have a hope of catching it. The larger ones like tegu, monitors and crocodilians really don't care much about being seen by humans, try to catch wild monitors or tegu and you're liable to lose fingers. Add autotomy to the mix, the ability to drop and regrow the tail, and it makes it harder. Apparently stage three of a wild tegu getting annoyed is a little tapdance, all I've experienced so far with my pet one is tail slaps, open mouth threat display and a feeding bite (think a dog with a pull toy, then imagine a lizard with as many teeth using your fingers/hand as the new toy, it's as unpleasant as it sounds).

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For fsck's SAKKE: GCHQ-built phone voice encryption has massive backdoor – researcher

Jemma

Either that or King Arthur is the department manager...

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