* Posts by Jemma

555 posts • joined 31 Dec 2008

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Oi, Apple fanbois. Your beloved Jesus Phones are pisspoor for disabled users

Jemma

Re: @ successcase

Apple is almost as famous for nicking other people's ideas and claiming them as fanbois are of doing the precise same thing at ear damaging volume.

This is a company that patented a bag, less than a month ago, that's right, an item that's been kicking around since early stone age man (or more likely woman) figured out how to connect one big piece of hide with another big piece of hide using a sharpened bit of bone and a long thin bit of hide.

Good Gods, Crapple couldn't even be original with touch screens, the IBM Simon I think had one, and I know for sure the Ericcson R380 did cos there's mine sitting in the bedroom drawer!

Stop reading apple propaganda and start learning for yourself, you will find like the rest of us in reality that Apple is a company that would have happily employed Joseph Goebbels (aka the poison dwarf) in a flash but for the inconvenience of him being dead, because there is and was no one better at disseminating bullshit.

Although I still think it was a little nasty to kill heydrich with a botulinum grenade for basically giving Czech workers extra food and shorter hours.. British Leyland could have used him after the war.. After all the US government used the people responsible for the A4 (better known as the V2)to start NASA (too soon?).

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Jemma

@ successcase

Wrong.

Symbian phones had voice answer well before the Crapple iPhone even existed, I know because my Nokia E70 supports it, is a 2005 model, and is still working perfectly a decade after I bought it. Dual core processor and a word compatible word processor anyone? Working well in 64mb of ram?

I'd be very surprised if some of these features originated as "disabled user support", they more likely appeared as something for middle managers to show off, and happened to be useful for people in that unenviable position. Not that I'm cynical.

Please stop blurting the "Apple created all" garbage

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Korean cargo line bailout saves Christmas for tech companies

Jemma

What could possibly go wrong?

This would be the same Korea Investment Bank that was involved with Lehman Brothers? I feel so reassured...

And unless I'm missing something, how is it that a trading entity of a corporation that is implied to be healthy (ie Korean "death before dishonour" Air) et al can go bankrupt?

Why do I get the feeling the word "bank" is going to be involved somewhere?

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Fanbois iVaporate: Smallest Apple iPhone queues ever

Jemma

Re: Attenborough

Hopefully professional grade TV cameras being jammed through bedroom windows will put the fanbois/girls off mating. Having a 90 year old dangling from a rappelling line giving a "blow by blow" account in a plummy accent would probably put most people off, still it could be worse, it could be Chris Packham.. He always reminds me of the monkey dust pilot sketch.

Still playing hunt the fanboi is a damn sight safer than playing chicken with Asian honeybees - there isn't enough money on the planet to make me go anywhere near those. I'd feel safer using a Taipan as a scarf.

Long may Sir David continue.

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Jemma

To paraphrase Futurama 603

"Not quite so dumb Bastards... "

I'm still predicting Apple will end up working from a lockup in Luton - hopefully this is where it begins..

As for the no headphone jack garbage, someone said that because it'd been used for almost a century it was useless and needed to be replaced - nope, it's lasted so long because it was the right tool for the right job. It's like the idiots who killed the Landrover 90/110 Defender with the dubious "we couldn't find a clean engine anywhere that would fit.. " (in an engine bay the size of a small shed, yeah right, the only reason someone hasn't fitted a Rolls Royce Merlin is because it's terrifying (on road) with 100hp, let alone 1000); it stayed almost identical since 1948 because it was perfect for its function, and still is, but it's not new shiny, it's more than 2 years old, so it's gotta go..

Apple Syndrome has started to spread, shame you can't make it a notifiable disease like foot & mouth. All managers infected could be culled - symptoms include an emotional age of about 14, a deranged addiction to removing useful features, and an attention span measured in seconds. I'd suggest the managers who signed off the new Landrover Discovery & iPhone should be the first test case.

Best of all, managers aren't cute like badgers, so there'll be no fuss.

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Alleged hacker Lauri Love loses extradition case. Judge: Suicide safeguards in place

Jemma

Suicide prevention is in place..

After all wouldn't want an amateur to botch things.. Now would we..?

To misquote Red October

"You saw him push the knife into his neck, and I was never here... "

Although this might possibly be an Owlswick Jenkins situation but that would probably be giving the US government to much credit..

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Ransomware scum infect Comic Relief server: Internal systems taken down

Jemma

It didn't take that much prescience at the time, even less if you were coming from the US side of things. If the writing on the wall was any larger you would have had to write it on the moon.

They were going to put the boot in, right or wrong, whether the evidence agreed or not and the rest is history.

Oh, and you know the bio, chemical & nerve weapons used by Saddam previous to the first gulf war (against Iranians and Kurds) .. I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that the suppliers of the necessary equipment came from Germany, France, UK and US. We knew he had them before Gulf War 1, of course we did, BECAUSE WE HELPED BLOODY SUPPLY THEM just like we supplied fermenters and other kit for the Russian chemical biological nerve and nuclear program.

I hate to disappoint you but GCSE history has about the relationship with reality as Donnie Dickwit.

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Jemma

Re: The trouble with UK Charities

@ David, perfectly correct, and you might get some value from paying a charity manager an MPs wage, as opposed to paying it to an MP.

However I will admit that if you are dealing with executive management, especially in a turnaround situation, it's best to pay the going rate, or a reasonable percentage of it - to get the right person/people.

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Jemma

Then I suggest you learn your history better. If you voted Blair in, you share the responsibility for gulf War 2. If you voted for Cameron, I haven't got time for the whole list, you share the responsibility. Churchill - the partition of India into India and Pakistan amongst others, pouring agrochemicals as biological weapons on to the Malays... Need I go on?

I'm perfectly happy to admit I voted for Blair the first time. I share some of the collective guilt for his actions, but that was the last time I voted until Brexit - I don't much like liars, especially not when the damage they've caused is still getting worse..

Not to mention Shrub, Oh-bugger and please no, Donnie Dickwit. Or the part where the US Army managed to lose 240,000 machine guns & semi auto pistols (which just happened to not be marked with any serial numbers...) in Iraq, wonder where those ended up.

I'm perfectly happy to help people, with money and my expertise, but I'm not willing to give or to work for or to support the UK charitable version of the vampire squid.

Find the reasons behind people needing charity and fix them, if you need new honest politicians and a new policy sort it by voting or demonstrating - it's no good sending canned fruit to Cambodia, when just walking to school is like tap dancing in a minefield.

As Blackadder said "thinking is soo important.. Try to have a thought of your own.. " it's good advice, because once a charity becomes a company, it's always a company first and a charity second.

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Jemma

Ransomware scum infects guiltware scum server.

There fixed it.

Oh look let's use people's money to fix problems in the majority caused because the same people have voted for psychopaths since democracy reared its ugly head and caused the problems themselves in the first place.

Why has the NHS been imploding since a week after it started? Because the labour government didn't have a clue about the cost/wanted the electorate to like them and the conservatives have found its more convenient (and warmer) to shoot at junior doctors, rather than Scottish grouse (there went BR too) .. Both voted in democratically.

Why has Africa been bouncing from disaster to disaster for most of the last 60 years - oh yeah, that's right, western (mainly British) government policy - voted for by the same people who support comic relief (mainly founded to solve the f-ups caused by democratic government they voted in..). Rwanda massacres - British colonial rule and the divide and rule policy; just one example. There's so mainly failed states there it's like a British Leyland quality control meeting.

Depraved kids in deprived areas.. Ditto

Google's new north of the Humber Find a Food bank app.. Ditto

Disabled children born to gulf war veterans.. Ditto (not confined here sadly). And yes, Gulf War Syndrome does exist, I've seen the sad results myself. "Depleted Uranium" dust is still bloody radioactive Uranium, just not quite as radioactive.

All these problems wouldn't exist, and therefore the excruciating televisual hell hole that is comic relief wouldn't need to if instead of electing psychopaths and sociopaths and often downright idiots into governments we would have some sort of mental vetting before someone could be elected. For heaven's sake, we're on the verge of President Trump!

Who else remembers farmer Gummer feeding his own daughter a beefburger in the middle of the dribbling bovine disease crisis? They kept it very quiet when her best friend died of nvCJD, the same girl who was conned into chowing down on "safe" meat. Go Democracy.

You did that with your little vote..

And now you're trying to fix it with your little donation..

I think the word I'm looking for is futility.

Disclaimer: I loathe and have always loathed the fake bonhomie, cheer and pseudo charitable actions of Comic Relief, but it's gotten worse over the years so now it's a parody of a parody of its original purpose which was to be a parody of charitable giving. As my grandfather would say *insert cockney accent here* "count me ahhrt"

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VW Dieselgate engineer sings like a canary: Entire design team was in on it – not just a few bad apples, allegedly

Jemma

Re: It seem to me

And in Singapore, from the article on here, it was almost all coal.

The point is this, in your own words, 65% is polluting generation, a fair percentage of the other 35% is fine until someone nicks a relay out of the pressure release valve control system on the reactor because he couldn't be bothered to get a replacement and figured "when is it ever going to be used)"(yes that actually happened). Now since I pay road tax, for a petrol car

, and that's partly based on pollution and 70% of any energy a hybrid takes in is from polluting generation, not to mention pollution from making fluffy-power(TM) infrastructure how is driving a TESLA any different from driving anything else?

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Jemma

Re: It seem to me

It makes little difference, in fact powerstation pollution is worse. While you don't tend to see school kids standing under coal station stacks sucking pollution - the average car doesn't produce massive doses of it a day and doesn't conveniently squirt it into the upper regions of the atmosphere where it'll do the most damage. As it stands its a toss up between vehicular pollution or uncontrolled UV from industrial pollution clobbering the ozone layer (which it turns out isn't that clobbered), and it's all the same air, the only difference is in a town you can smell the vehicular portion.

And let's be blunt, we're all going to die anyway, it comes with the package as standard, like rust on an Allegro.

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Jemma

Re: It seem to me

Yes you are entirely correct but where did the now not wasted heat ultimately come from? You accelerated to 35mph with the engine, you now need to stop, the inherent energy you used from the engine is now converted to friction, heat, and or regenned into the drivetrain. It still comes ultimately from fossil fuels (just not quite so much fossil fuel).

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Jemma

Re: It seem to me

Umm where do you think hybrid cars get their energy from, either from the ICE engine or from regen energy from the brakes, ultimately, the ICE engine...

Then you've got plug ins hybrids or battery electrics, that charge from the grid.. You know, the lovely clean coal, gas, lignite, or pwr reactors that are great for the environment in comparison until someone closes the wrong valve and the reactor top plate is on its way to Mars before you can say Scram...

I think it was Singapore that clobbered a Tesla owner with a massive pollution tax bill, because they concluded, correctly, that coal generated electric energy is about as clean and environmentally friendly as, well, burning coal.

Give me Thorium-Uranium 233 based, self moderating molten salt reactors powering everything - then you can call hybrids or electrics clean.. For a given value of clean..

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Jemma

Re: If the government had better tests...

My experience was more like "you lie to the test", sort of like dieselgate for education.

I don't think I've found a single "fact" I learnt in school that hadn't been kenobi'd in some way - except possibly maths. Reality and GCSE/A level coursework in anything that isn't fixed, like science and mathematics, in that there is a 100% right answer and a 100% percent "you just got plated to the roof of the reactor building" area of study the variation between the right exam answer and actual physical reality is mindblowing...

Hands up all those who were told in history class Churchill was a fat borderline alcoholic racist who spent most of his life roundly disliked by everyone who knew him (and whose father died of tertiary syphilis)? Or that a major reason we "won" the Battle of Britain was Goering was out of his box on morphine (being shot in the area of the testicles hurts apparently)?

Getting back to the subject in hand, I'd like to see a comparison between a brand new car and say something from the 1960s (properly tuned) in day to day driving.. I suspect it's not as massive a difference as you'd think.

Here's one for the Americans. In New York in 1939 there were 3000+ listings for Hitlers in the phone book. In 1946 there were 3..

... The more you wish you didn't know.... 0 to Trump in 6 years.. Might explain a few things..

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Public masturbation not a crime declares Italy’s top court

Jemma

Trust me, the enjoyment begins to fade when you have to listen to and discuss the same 6 bars of something for two hours twice a week, it's even less fun when you are two chairs away from some off beat grunting that sounds like a warthog with sinus trouble..

Still sometimes we could enjoy the pleasures of the Atari "music computer" usually by spending a whole lesson invoking the "tap it on the top" infinite reboot loop..

The fact any of us passed was a miracle.

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Jemma

Lovely, reminds me of a time in secondary school music class when the obligatory special needs kid did the five knuckle shuffle (tackle out) for a full two hour double period.. Shame it was back in the day when there weren't 40 smartphones per class of "30, minister, honest"... Someone would have stopped him, but he kept on grunting away for the whole lesson...

Mind you very soon after that the school stopped taking in the "specials".

I can't listen today to strawberry fields without cringing even now..

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HSBC: How will we verify business banking customers? Selfies!

Jemma

Re: Just remember

Four exclamation marks... A sure sign of a deranged mind..

But given HSBCs previous abilities to listen to customers I won't be surprised if this is a complete disaster, I mean why change the habit of a lifetime? Like forcing customers to use those god awful RSA keycard things, or accidentally charging accounts for shares that don't exist, for a service that's entirely unwanted, then taking months to pay the money back, while claiming to have paid it...

Still no worse than any other bank on the planet.. Where's Albert Spangler when you need him..

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DVLA misses out on £400m in tax after scrapping paper discs

Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Sorry kiddo, I worked in two hospitals and have seen the result of accidents so understand this because I'll only say it once.

If someone driving a car mashes someone as you so delightfully put it by their own mistake, pissed or sober, or by deliberate stupidity then by all means, the "mashee" is the victim and the person behind the wheel should be dealt with accordingly.

However if the mashee walks out into traffic oblivious, and gets hit, or is distracted and gets hit or is drunk or drugged up and gets "mashed" then it's their fault and the driver should not be punished. I've had people walk out in front of my bike despite the fact it sounds like a wasp being played through a guitar amp. I had a pretty Chinese teenager decide she was going to walk out onto a light controlled crossing when it was my right of way and if I hadn't been watching her going to cross she'd have been mashed - but that's not a victim that's an idiot waiting to breed.

Stop blaming the driver for everything (they're probably traumatised enough already if they've just reduced a teenager to wallpaper paste), it takes two, or more, to cause an accident and I'd like to see police instigate breathalysers for pedestrians in accidents - I'll bet the results will be interesting.

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Jemma

Re: In reality...

So it wasn't the Volvo diesel that sounded like a bag of hammers in a cement mixer played though a concert speaker system from three hundred yards away?

You could hear that thing start up from a different county if the wind was in the right direction.

An old boss had the T5 850, that car was terrifyingly quick but still managed an average of 30+mpg. Note we've got eco-booms and Terribly Sooty Injections that seem to have all the get up and go of an arthritic warthog and the longevity of Boris Johnsons prime ministerial career.

The thought of FIAT and "stop and go" in the same brochure makes my blood run cold, and has already emptied a friends purse.

The right tool for the right job. And don't get me started on Tesla et al; although following a Prius that appeared to be being driven by Jason Plato this afternoon was quite amusing, in a that must be doing about 10mpg sort of way..

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Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Yes, you're completely correct, but it's immaterial whether you're stoned/pissed out of your box or sober.. If you can't see a cyclist or pedestrian because they're wearing black on a bike in pitch black on a single track country road in the middle of nowhere, with a speed differential of up to 50mph they deserve everything they get, it's common bloody sense. I built my autocycle on the basis that it was economical transport, environmentally friendly and could travel (with a tuned pipe at 35-37mph on the flat and just under 30 uphill) at a reasonable speed compared to traffic - I upgraded brakes and lights to the absolute best I could get... Result I'm not dead (notwithstanding the attempts of local Audi drivers).

Ditto the idiots who just wander out in the road as if the 2 tonne BMW SUV driven by a pint sized lass who can barely see over the dashboard doesn't exist.

Then you have the mindless idiot who was towing her two kids down the middle of a busy road in rush hour in the middle of a snowstorm (more like rush slither) and had "done nothing wrong".

It's scientific fact by the way that you are more likely to case a major crash from tiredness than you are from being ratted, simply because in a lot of cases drivers don't realise they are losing concentration until they've buried their landrover in the front of a class 66. Even the traffic reichpiglets admit this, but since you can't test for tiredness, at least not in any quantifiable way, it's easier to put the boot into drug & drink drivers.. Ably supported by "grieving mothers" who conveniently forget to mention the bit where little-miss-whole-life-in-front-of-her had the attention span of a goldfish, the spacial awareness of a narcoleptic sloth, and may or may not have been out of her gourd as well. It's collectively better for the human race that they're removed from the gene pool anyway.

Why do you think tachographs and monitoring systems were installed in trucks and coaches - it wasn't for fun, it was because tired drivers are the most dangerous, so they were made mandatory in those vehicles to combat tiredness. I'd like to see tachographs put in all cars, and the UK made entirely free of booze for a year - I'll bet money the highest reduction will be from tachographs, not lack of alcohol.

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Jemma

Re: This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

If you see a bright orange Tatra T2 603 going cheap let me know (orange cos its not a good idea to leave them black as they were used by Soviet bloc security forces, people have long memories). A V8 VW beetle with petrol fired central heating, what's not to like but remember the carbon monoxide alarm!

As for the getting shot of the paper discs, everyone could see this coming, except DVLA. Add to that a DVLA computer system that consists of daisy chained ZX Spectrums and a call center straight out of Dilbert and it's only going to get worse..

You're actually more likely to be hit by a tired driver or hit because you were walking out into the road engrossed in your phone or arrogantly assuming traffic light controlled crossings don't apply to you. It annoys me no end when someone whines about a family member getting killed by a drunk driver - and two minutes later you find out said Darwin Award nominee was cycling at 3am with no lights down a road that even locals avoid in the daylight because it's so dangerous.. That's about where my sympathy dries up. Given the standard of driving instructors around here I'd rather take my chances with a load of chronic alcoholics driving Hellcats than the average stone cold sober Bini basher.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

Jemma

Re: Funny thing

Those would be the only destroyers ever built using no armour plate whatsoever, the idea being that the less weight the more speed. It also helped that several of the Japanese cruisers were chronically over gunned and were mainly a danger to themselves (replacing 6" twin gunhouses with 9" or triple 6" was in retrospect not the best Japanese idea).

If I remember rightly the Japanese units weren't fitted with ranging and targeting radars, which made them less effective. Even major fleet units like Kirishima lacked radar gunnery control.

The large calibre shells never hit anything hard enough to trigger the fuses and just punched (lots of) holes, oddly I don't remember any information on if the smaller Japanese calibres failed in the same way.

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EU eyes flaw in Google’s cash machine

Jemma

Could be a big ouchie

Won't be a big ouchie.

If the history of these monopoly investigations things is anything to go by, it'll:

1. Trundle on for years until whatever the outcome is its effectively pointless and worthless.

2. Be kicked into the long grass faster than you can say "public enquiry". Further investigation of said long grass will indicate the presence of that species often found in long grass - the lesser spotted payoff.

3. Be eventually 'resolved' in such a way as everyone involved, apart from oddly enough the EU, knows means absolutely nothing; business will go on as before, and it will all be paid for out of taxes.

3a. Addendum, and most of the mouth breathers won't care either way because they think it doesn't matter cos of Brexit.

And let's be honest, if it isn't Google who's selling our info to ad pedlars, it'll only be someone else. The NHS were only forced to can their attempt cos they were dumb enough to be honest about it.

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Teen thugs lure, rob Pokemon Go gamers

Jemma

Re: Smells Like Bullshit

Not as dumb as you'd think, in days of old people would leave waymarks for others, indicating various things such as good, or bad food, or as kind of reviews for a coaching inn or an ale-house (for example to let people know that this ale-wife hadn't helped her wine to ferment with the addition of chicken poo, and so many did it was a bonafide crime).

Basically it's probably what happens when you get passive/aggressive and paranoid Victor Meldrew types watching Time Team.

Add to that cops whose only relation to an IQ was stopping one for speeding in a 30, and the rest is history.

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Jemma

Re: It's all changed since my fly fishing days.

Ah the days when you could get a 4 day life out of a pair of AA batteries.. I had an Ericsson mc12 palmtop for a while at university, excellent little thing, full keyboard, flashable system ROM and a really quite good Greyscale screen. Even connected to the net via mobile phone over IR.

I think from memory it could run Windows 3.1 and Wolfenstein (say goodbye to your eyeballs, I don't know refresh rate but it was something abysmal) slowly...

Now I feel old too..

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Jemma

Re: or...

Yep, I was thinking of the Vickers, that was a belt, if you could get an option pack on cars, 2 x forward firing MG, idiotic pedestrians for the removal of; I would spec it up first..

Chrysler would probably call it the "roadkill package"

Even without Pokemon:thud I've had people walk out 2 feet in front of me, people walking in the middle of 50mph roads completely oblivious, parents pulling sleds down the middle of the road covered in black ice, teenagers walk across light controlled crossings when it's on green, and one notable nutcase who walked down a busy road as if he were a cruiser zigzagging under air attack, crossed the road back and forth around 15 times in a hundred yards and almost got hit at least three times..

Then we had the army medic who wiped out 7 cars, pissed out of her tree, 3x legal limit, and didn't even get banned from driving on the basis she was "needed for national defence".

When I was a kid we were taught, stop, look and listen and personally shown how long it takes for a car to stop from 30mph, nowadays they do nothing and these idiots seem to think we can stop on a dime, and of course, it's our fault if one of them walks out in front of us with no warning and gets splattered.

I'm sorry, but if it was up to me the policy would be what one science fiction writer called Practical Darwinism, if you're stupid enough to walk into traffic in an apparent daze then you deserve to be taken out of the gene pool, no second chances. And if you are driving and playing Pokemon:Go at the same time, it should be a permanent driving ban by way of a state statute headshot.

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Jemma

or...

Vintage Lewis. 303 machine gun - £400

10 belts ammunition for above - £150

Ridding the world of iZombies - Priceless..

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Jemma

Heavy machine guns for full backs...

This is a wonderful idea for restarting human evolution...

Would even give unemployable criminals a steady paying job for the government...

All they'd need is a 6 hour modded lure module and a GPMG (or a Lewis if they happen to be into steampunk) and just pot the iZombies (thank you) as they get within range. It's a win/win. Society gets rid of those annoying idiots that wander across roads like suicidal roadkill/trip over stones/walk into trees etc and human evolution becomes a viable process again. Darwin would be so pleased.

It'd even help the sadly unbeleagured armaments industry and create more jobs there.

Admittedly there is the sad fact that some of the iZombies may have already bred, but there's always Pokemon:Go II...

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UK.gov wants to fine websites £250,000 if teens watch porn vids

Jemma

Re: To be honest, who cares?

Quotes you hope you'll never hear in a geography class #103

"Sir... I don't think what you are showing us is Florida; I don't think Florida has balls... "

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Jemma

@ Moiety

You answered your own question by word four... Sadly they're the ones in charge, mostly behind the scenes of the school system... C of E school and you don't go to church? Not a hope as an ex gf found out.. Although her four year old, when asked what she wanted to be in church, blurting out "I wanna be a lesbian when I grow up" was priceless. That child had all the tact of a Claymore mine in an orphanage.

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Jemma

Re: To be honest, who cares?

Ah, the every sperm is sacred song. First time I saw that I was almost crying with laughter - how anyone managed to film that with a straight face is beyond me. I'm amazed they got away with it even then, especially that kid doing the soprano solo.

Not to mention the Salmon Mousse & Americans sketch. Including the ubiquitous skidmark brown Volvo estate.

I think my favourite has to be Life of Brian "...stwike him centuwion, vewy woughly" and "blessed are the Greek.." "did anyone catch his name? "

Sadly however the target of the parody is one of the things over the years that has helped royally screwed up generations of sexualities. Godbothering has a lot to answer for in this respect.

As Eric Idle might put it "I hope there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, because there's bugger all down here on earth".

Scary thought - but if we are visited by aliens in the next two years or so by aliens the first people they'll meet will probably be Donnie Dickwit and Theresa May. I don't wanna live on this planet any more... If you put her brain into a Jackdaw it'd burn down the rookery and invade Poland.

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Jemma

Re: And yet premium rate phone numbers ...

Cui Boner?

*Cicero now spinning in grave fast enough to power the Vatican*

I wouldn't be at all surprised to find the govt taxes those somehow.. Either that or half of Westminster has them on speed dial.

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Jemma

To be honest, who cares?

Teenagers watching porn can't screw them up any more than UK secondary school sex education does, it simply isn't possible to make porn that is more damaging to a developing sexuality than the real life version of Monty Pythons meaning of life skit that is STILL taught in our schools.. "you don't go charging for the clitoris like a bull at a gate!... What's wrong with a little kiss boy?!"

I find it amazing as well that a 10 year old can legally choose to end their life if they are terminally Ill but a 19 year old or older can't - not to mention an age of consent that was laid down to make a Victorian brothel keeper very rich and deal with rampant syphilis infection (a 'cure' for this then very nasty disease was to sleep with a virgin..) and we're still defending it like its the holy grail when it's been doing more damage than good for years..

Personally, to paraphrase "let them watch c*ck...".

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UK.gov's hated Care.data project binned

Jemma

Toxic legacy leaking across the NHS...

Which particular one did you mean? The one with the MDR infections.. Or the one with the monumentally poor cancer care? Or the one with the nurses that think once you're over the age of 80 you need to be treated like a patient of Dr Mengele so you can recall happy memories of times gone by..

As far as I can tell the NHS reflects a mixture of the monkey dust "Porton Down" and "NHS" sketches.. And a fair percentage of patients would make extras for the "breakfast fatties" sketch. Look them up - you won't know whether to laugh or contemplate suicide.

Toodles...

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Humans and bees share the same sociability genes

Jemma

As I said, if the retention of growth control genes between archeoforms and more modern organisms has been proven, which it has, then it is an eminently reasonable hypothesis to state that it is likely other gene systems would have evolved once and been retained since.

Since I am entirely unsurprised by this information, I consider it unsurprising.

Neither would I be entirely surprised to find out that autism is linked in some way to archeoform communication genes being active in autism spectrum disorder, whereas they are not in non ASD individuals.

In point of fact a possible hypothesis for that might be an alarm gene in bees, that does what it is supposed to do (acting as a sting something on:off switch) activating in humans, and royally banjaxing their ability to relate to emotions (deleting the ability to see and react to gradations of emotion and the ability to grade their emotions 'normally' in turn). People with serious autism will to react to things in an on:off way - reacting to certain situations in a very extreme way, yet to others there is no reaction at all. It's already known for example that if a pregnant woman is exposed to extreme stress in the 3rd trimester - there is a fundamental change in how the child will process & be affected by cortisol to their detriment (as opposed to children who didn't have the twin towers dropping on their mothers at precisely the wrong time) in comparison to children of unstressed mothers, there is also a corrolation between parental starvation and the immune system in the children (it's substantially weaker).

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Jemma

Nobody's perfect....

Oh wait...

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Jemma

Not a surprise at all, we already know that growth control genes are retained in mammals (and birds/dinosaurs) from very early multicellular life. Why in that case would you reinvent the wheel in the case of communication genes? This isn't a surprising result it's almost blatantly obvious.

What would be worth finding out is any correlations between comms. genes and conditions like autism etc, whether there is a possibility that ancient genes are being reactivated when they shouldn't be and causing the problem (to make an analogy, like trying to run a windows 10 device on a windows 3.1 driver, things are not going to end well).

Humanity seems to love to over complicate matters, assuming that between two very different groups of animals chemistry must be very different, while blethering on about the kiss principle everywhere else. It makes no sense to keep reinventing the wheel when you've got something that works..

I just gotta go feed my Velocichicken...

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My plan to heal this BROKEN, BREXITED BRITAIN

Jemma

Re: BBC opportunity?

But making it a series means fun things like Boris Johnson being offed by means of a red hot spike up the bottom..

On the other hand, Theresa May with dragons...

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Jemma

BBC opportunity?

I had a thought, someone should go do a 6 series documentary on brexit whining with all the lovable characters – they could call it Game of Moans.

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The Microsoft-LinkedIn hookup will be the END of DAYS, I tell you

Jemma

Re: So that'll be another profile to delete then

Not very much point them knowing about them, fantastic or otherwise, since my health is a total wreck and I'm unable to work, and not likely to get any better. It might be worth keeping if I talked to any of the people on it but I don't. As has been mentioned in the UK it's mostly employment agencies or word of mouth, it doesn't seem to have caught on so much here as other places.

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Jemma

So that'll be another profile to delete then. It's not a great loss. It never did anything useful anyway.

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Brit Olympian defies Zika with frozen man oysters

Jemma

Re: Well, no, not really..

Doesn't matter, even if they use frozen sperm, before or after he goes out or gets back, if he's infected he's capable of infecting others. I'm not sure if anyone knows yet whether there is a key window in a pregnancy where Zika can cause it's problems, I know stress in 3rd trimester can cause problems in the resulting child. I've not seen anything that says that an infection after the fact can in no way affect foetus.

All that is over and above the possibility of infected persons radiating out to almost every country in the world with no real way of tracking all their interactions between time of infection and symptomatic infection.

It's basically a really silly idea all round to keep the Olympics in the zone of danger. It's basic epidemiology - but then it's also politics, money and time.. I can sadly guess which will win out.

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Jemma

Well, no, not really..

Freezing sperm is a sensible idea for cancer amongst other diseases. It's not so hot here since if he does get it it can survive in the body for at least 4 months, hiding out in various places including the testicles and blood. Which means, whether the baby is made with frozen wrigglers or not, any pregnancy within 12 months of a Zika infection is a bad idea, not to mention if the partner is infected I've not seen data on how long it lasts in a human female. If it's like some other nasties it could sit in places like the spleen for years.

If I was one of these athletes potentially being put in this situation I'd be saying hell no.

But then maybe I've been playing Plague Inc too long..

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Auto erotic: Self-driving cars will let occupants bonk on the go

Jemma

Re: Just looking at the Google car

There was the guy who was shagging the family Austin Metro, stuck Mr Happy into the exhaust without realising it was hot, and welded his willy into the pipe. They had to cut him free then cut the pipe lengthwise to get him out.. then third degree burns and skin grafts...

...hark, is that the sound of a million buttocks clenching in terror...?

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Jemma

Re: Just looking at the Google car

You'd be surprised what people find erotic.. and then you'd need to find the brain bleach.

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Jemma

KR200 bubble car

There's plenty of room in the Humber Hawk series car next to it, and with the grand total of 80hp, shagging might be the only way to alleviate the boredom of trundling along at 65mph. The Imperial had air suspension and a straight six, so at least you wouldn't make other occupants sick with the bouncing, and it could get out of its own way.

Shagging in a smart car would probably result in major dislocations or someone having to have the stick shift surgically removed..

The kind of dogging an ex was into involved fur and a tail, not the sainsburys carpark...

It's be a brilliant way to restart evolution, put a trip into the system, as soon as shagging is detected the autonomous function switches off... there'd be some funny shaped coffins...

NB: The Ford Transit and the Econoline were two totally different things thank god, Transit being made from the parts bin by engineers to be good to drive using mostly car bits, the Econoline being built using the parts bin by accountants who got kicked out of dentistry college for sadism beyond the call of duty.

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Apple man found dead at Cupertino HQ, gun discovered nearby

Jemma

Re: Where's Jony Ive?

Sweeping Tim Cook's chocolate chimney?

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Jemma

Re: Rates and news?

It's still news per se if a pregnant teenager gets her head blown off with a thirty ought six in a 7/11. But it won't get the same coverage (or any at all if she's black American), even when two people were killed. Everything is news for a given value of news but it's only important to the masses, as far as the media is concerned if it's related to a celebrity, a major company, or in many places (including but not limited to, the Daily Fail offices) an excuse to bash a minority.

This has been picked up by the American mainstream media because it's related to Apple, it's then been reported here because it's Apple, but I doubt we'd even know about it if it happened in the offices of some unknown start up in Redneckbury, TX...

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Jemma

Re: Rates and news?

Sadly, the birth rate cancelled all of them out.

You know, if all the other countries of the World charged America £100 million a time for every foreign victim of gun crime or just gun related idiocy guns would be gone in probably about a decade. Hit them where it hurts, in their wallets. 25% to the home government for costs and the rest to the families affected (although this might cause a macabre version of healthcare holidays.. "you really want to study at Yale don't you dear...)

Feel sorry for the persons concerned but this wouldn't have got the coverage if it wasn't Apple related, and talking of Apple related how on earth is Sculley an "Apple guru"? He damn near bankrupted them. Personally I'd make the new campus into one huge shoot em up level, lock all of Apple inside and leave to soak... The last survivor could then be executed for crimes against humanity, eco crime and if they've been there long enough, aiding and abetting a dangerous sociopath.

The world would be a better place, we'd have phones back that last 3 days on a 900mah battery, and doctors wouldn't be doing skin cancer tests with sodding iPhones (I speak from personal experience).

And finally, in an unrelated note to all Americans. Please don't vote Trump in, if only for this single reason, over and above all the racism and that hair. If there is intelligent life on other planets, and they decide to drop in for a chat... Do you really want the first person they meet to be Donny Dickwit?

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