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* Posts by David Kairns

61 posts • joined 25 Dec 2008

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The Open Cloud Manifesto in full

David Kairns

Cloud Computing

**Miserable** idea for important data or computing no matter any gains.

It simply allows other access to your data.

It also allows someone else to potentially shut you down hard, lock you out.

In other words, Cloud Computing Sucks.

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Google Docs suffers serious security lapse

David Kairns

Ah the cloud

Where security isn't

Where if it breaks, your company is dead

Go ahead, hand your survival to some dipshit corporation

GAK!

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Slash your way inside Apple's Mac Mini

David Kairns

More appropriate tool...

...would be a post driving sledge hammer, perhaps a ten pounder.

Reducing the average quality but overpriced Apple scam footprint in the world is a good thing.

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Fanbois will abandon iPhone for Palm, says Wikisugardaddy

David Kairns

Good, I hope Palm cranks

Get rid of some of the shoddy, cheap, **overpriced** hardware Apple likes to spread around like rancid butter.

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Did TomTom test Microsoft's Linux patent lock-down?

David Kairns

New News?

MS trying to crush better people who can actually innovate is nothing new.

Their slimy octopus model has worked at times so they'll continue to do it.

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Diebold e-voting software includes delete audit logs button

David Kairns

Earth...

...is a pigpen, with Diebold one of the mud floating turds.

Electronic voting?

Yes, idiot humans do get the govs they deserve.

Upcoming, Holocaust II. The camps (complete with big ass gas lines installed) are ready to go.

And of course waiting are railroad cars complete with shackles, and retrofitted old buses.

Nice knowin' ya dumb asses.

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MPs told PGP 'incompatible' with Parliament network

David Kairns

D U H

Ban PGP = spy on anyone.

Isn't it obvious, or are all earth brains dead at this point.

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IBM bricking Seagate SATA disks

David Kairns

More garbage hardware

Expect to see more of this as corporations erode their quality standards.

Apple used to ship fairly strong hardware. Now it's chinese junk.

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Microsoft talks open-source love amid TomTom Linux 'war'

David Kairns

MS The Giant Slug...

...will attempt to absorb anything it can perceive as existing.

It does this because it thinks it owns the world (or should own it).

Microsoft is dangerous to freedom and to life.

It should die.

So DIE fucker.

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Apple laptop ignites marketing department

David Kairns

Apple Is All About Quality...

...curves on its cheap ass white plastic cases.

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Windows 7 to take Surface mainstream?

David Kairns

Before Pushing The Surface

They need to fix what's inside (good luck).

You see microdonkey, there is a thing in the universe called **sequence**

Or just bit-paint Linux right over any stupid microsoft banner, and you'll have all the great surface you need.

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Microsoft sues GPS maker TomTom

David Kairns

Bingo -- Gamechange

MS usually just steals tech outright. I guess they're adding a cute litte ol' lawsuit to help clean up their "image." What a joke.

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David Kairns

Thieves Sue Over "Theft"

Well, MS should know more than anyone ALL about corporate theft.

Their "poor me" bullshit is just more smoke screen PR crap to cover their dying butts.

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David Kairns
Thumb Up

Since MS Can't Innovate

This is just one of their better "tech acquisition" methodologies. Works well too in this modern world of corporate criminality. Nuthin' new here at all.

Great way to kill a company and "acquire" tech at the very same time.

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Microsoft boffins devise 'secure' Gazelle browser

David Kairns

What A Joke

"microsoft" and "security" don't exist within the same species, let alone within the same human technology.

Just more redmond stage humor. Even better than bouncing blummers.

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'No Office 14 this year,' says Ballmer

David Kairns

Yer Closer Blammer

How about "Omitted Office Forever" for a bit o' IT relief.

Open Office is free and coming right along you know, and exists without all that MS garbage corporate strangulation.

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World's 'smallest, lightest' laptop launches

David Kairns

Another...

...Fujitsu (or maybe Sony) wannabee, but darn nice. I'd get one if I had some extra bucks.

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Google's email service goes down

David Kairns

Another Reason...

...why the cloud is a bunch of unreliable vapor.

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Microsoft kills off public availability of Windows 7 beta

David Kairns

Excellent PR Move

Now no one can view all those pesky cracks and fissures -- morale booster.

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Ballmer bets on R&D amidst Meltdown

David Kairns

Just how?

Just how does one R&D deeply internally busted toys for use in professional zones of life?

Hint: It's impossible. Get over it.

MS's only real innovation, other than it's -- AHEM -- "legal acquisitions," was it's truly revolutionary use of multi-layered shiny IT paint.

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Obama balks at recovery of lost Dubya emails

David Kairns

Who cares...

...what the latest puppetboy FAKE leader says.

US states are reclaiming sovereignty and talking secession.

Get that jerk off the comedy stage.

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Windows 7 fast track alarms technical testers

David Kairns

RW is Right - ALL Marketing BS

MS dips their junk in YET another vat of new shiny paint and expects users to believe they are doing something.

Vista proved they're on the way out.

Mere inertia will keep them alive for a while -- that's alot of inertia.

I'm selling cubic volumes of deep space. Where's the MS customer list quick.

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David Kairns

Inertia

Good point me.

Now that MS is running exclusively on old moldy inertia, time to scream loudly to Linux to get the stuff useable *without* needing to hire live-in programmers for setup and daily use.

I've found they're doing that already, so it shouldn't be too long, but hurry the F up!

Mac is allright for over egotistical niche users -- pretty white plastic brigade.

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David Kairns

Service Pack 7 - More Crap from Redmond Sewer.

Ditto.

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Next-gen Mac mini 'photo' surfaces

David Kairns

Cool

More cute white plastic from the cute white plastic masters.

Looks flat on top -- great higher-drink-height coaster.

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David Kairns

Good friend of mine...

...was admiring the nice contour of his worm-home power supply.

I asked him from what height could he drop it.

I asked him how likely it would be to burst into flames and raze the planet.

It all went right on by him in his glassy eyed gaze.

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Hackers: BitDefender site exposes private data (yet again)

David Kairns

Uh...These Are **Security Specialist** Corps!!!

God Help Us.

"Here, use this nice cool gasoline to put out your house fire."

AVG is also shit.

I've found Avast AV excellent -- rock solid program and definition updates daily. Other, also better stuff exists as well.

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Beta-blocker 'erases' unpleasant memories

David Kairns

Hello "Brave New World"

Drugs, the "aware" way to live a life.

Soon: A drug to make you forget you're on drugs (also deals with pesky independent and creative thought).

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Woman sues over Vista to XP 'downgrade' charge

David Kairns

Good Ol' MS

Wrapping useless dried turds in golden cloth.

Hey, marketing knows exactly how stupid users are.

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'Lenny': Debian for the masses?

David Kairns

Become Programmer to Use Left Hand Mouse

While back, my first Linux try. Idiot told me to just switch hands -- or creat this little program and install it somewhere. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

I want to COMPUTE (word process, browse, email, run Delorme maps - the best by far).

I DON'T want to return to a university for programmer's school in order to run my fucking mouse left handed.

I don't want to personally manufacture a car in order to drive to a store.

Linux will become useable or it will die (remain dead) in *all* but super-specialist zones.

You want me to learn to program? Fuck You.

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David Kairns

Linux Method For New Car Rims

Buy or manufacture mining equipment

Mine back yard for iron ore

Erect steel manufacturing facility (get permit first)

Order casting form

Smelt steel (add alloys now)

Pour new rims

Dip in water to cool (wear gloves)

Set up machine shop

Do final machining

Use new rims

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David Kairns

That Place

Use Win - Puke for numerous reasons.

Use Linux - Puke over expense of hiring programmers.

Rock - Me - HardPlace

Solution - Buy pencil, buy paper pad, move to cave, write notes to self, enjoy simple networking.

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David Kairns

Why Linux Might Remain Dead

I ain't stupid -- I used to reformat a floppy to 1.8 megs, compress it, and thus get 3-4 megs of certain types of data on a single floppy disk. Did it for fun.

But, I REFUSE to become a semi-programmer merely to do some simple daily computing.

Get over it, fix it -- or see Linux DIE (for real people with lives).

(I hate MS as much as anybody - bunch of broken, but painted well, Yugo salesmen).

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Photography rights: Snappers to descend on Scotland Yard

David Kairns

A While Back...

...discussing anything other than a full blown revolution began coming across as two chicken shit warm pieces of cheese debating proper refrigeration.

There NEVER WILL be any appeasing these steroid brain lard ass fuck-wit thugs. The war is ON. The enemy is the people "governed."

These photo rules are to cover up police high crimes -- **nothing else.**

Better knock off the panty waist lollygagging around and do some damn planning.

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Kaspersky hacker: Database exposed for days

David Kairns

Silencio

Their silence whispers darkly:

"We don't give a fuck about user security -- they're only stupid customer sheep afterall."

"Our software is probably just as hole ridden as our numb corporate vacation taking skulls."

Honest people come clean quick. They're not coming clean at all. Therefore....

Yet another mini Enron in the making?

(does it sound like I'm **really** tired of shit-nothing useless corporations littering the barren IT wasteland?)

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David Kairns

But Wait

Hey, it's only an international professional security corporation, not a nuclear facility.

What's the big problem.

Hope they had fun in Puerto Rico.

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Kaspersky breach exposes sensitive database, says hacker

David Kairns

Has *EVERYTHING* To Do With Their "Security" Products

Hey donkey,

Refusing to come clean = corporate rot.

Corporate rot = swiss cheese all the way down the corporate food chain.

If they can't secure their customers, then how the F can they secure their customers?

DUUUUUUUUUUUH Too simple for blender minds.

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Lords say surveillance society erodes foundations of UK

David Kairns

Right

Let's see here.

Walk up to a psychotic police state rat baboon and "call" for him to get straight.

"Leadership" comedy at it's best.

Anyone wanna buy some great space vacuum? (cheap)

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HP UK pulls Linux from all new netbooks

David Kairns

Left Handed

(I LOVE the idea of Linux)(I HATE Gates)

I tried Linux a while back. I forget the distro.

"Where the F is the MOUSE control panel?????"

Some idiot (obviously testing Uncle Bill's drugs in quantity) actually suggested I switch hands!

I checked some stats and found that in some groups (mainly artistic) up to 50%!!!!!!!!! were left handed!

Yeah I know, things have improved. Maybe I'll try another distro.

I DON'T have time to fart around becoming a senior programmer for Earth computing genuis just to get some work done.

Further, who the hell named Ubuntu, some cousin of an African god? It's an OS not a galactic social movement. (I LOVE Africa and everything about it, including all its amazing people).

I'll go try latest PCLOS probably, or DSL.

Jezuz H Christ!!

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Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

David Kairns

Not Cowardly, Just Stupid

When, as with the Jews, they come for you (and they will), you will wish to whatever god you may or may not have that you had retained a workable self defense.

Knives??? heh heh.

You ever see a cat with it's claws sadistically removed by some freakish human scum?

Well, you probably will soon enough.

Good luck with that.

This time we will be a bit too preoccupied with our own psychotic jackbooted lunatics to help you dumb asses.

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Gates looses mosquitoes on tech conference bloodsuckers

David Kairns

In The Sheep Pens Of Earth...

...vacuum skull disbelief is far and away the oppressor's greatest ally.

You really think the lunatic is NOT in with the FDA who recently said mercury is just fine for pregnant women and children?

Scathing ignorance is a volotile poison to us all.

Wake the F UP!

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David Kairns

Chris C

I could jam an ice pick into the peak of your pointed empty skull and swear I'm there to help you, and you would believe it.

Your wool is overgrown, get a haircut.

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David Kairns

Needlework

Needlework population reduction.

"But wait, he wouldn't do THAT"

Of course not. Neither would Hitler.

Uh huh, all the other sheep say that too.

Better wake the hell up.

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New Zealand bolts net filtering regime into place

David Kairns

Slippery Slope Blues

Sliding into jackboot fascism one "reasonable" control at a time. Big Brother will protect you.

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Microsoft mojo deflated by Seinfeld Vista ads

David Kairns

Just a thought

Hey MS, rumour has it that non-shit infested products also devoid of bullshit PR lies will actually sell well.

Try it (but you won't like it because it's honest and...ah heck, never mind).

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Apple's Snow Leopard may know where you are

David Kairns

So...

...how does one disable this privacy invading garbage. Or does one?

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SCO boss to customers: 'Blah. Blah. Blah'

David Kairns

Uh

SCO, alot like the stuff behind my toilet which refuses to die.

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Windows 7 UAC vuln not a vuln, MS repeats

David Kairns

No Wonder

No wonder MS keeps missing stuff.

They've never handled the basic infestation -- Windows.

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Microsoft SKUs Windows 7 clarity

David Kairns

TKU MS for a great idea!!!

I'm going to acquire six refrigerators, all different.

Then six different flush handles for my toilet (somehow incredibly appropriate in a discussion regarding the Redmond monkey farm).

Once the handle use is well drilled, I'll get six toilets, each one urgently required directly after using another different MS product.

Then six transmissions -- all varying gear ratios -- brilliant.

Six coat hanger types.

Six toilet paper densities (again, so appropriate).

Six wives (looking better here, despite MS crap).

Six nose hair trimmers, varying amperages and motors, some doubling as hedge trimmers, powered hole diggers.

Life's good.

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David Kairns

More SERVICE PACK 7 Versions Needed...

Fully user screwing

3/4 user screwing

1/2 user screwing

1/4 user screwing

Oh yeah, couple more:

Fully vague

Semi vague

Micro vague

There, that's better.

Man, what a donkey farm up there in Redmond

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!

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