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Posted Thursday 18th March 2010 13:30 GMT
In Nashville cops trade fire with leprechaun
Are they eligible for a Darwin?
Cos they sure were dumb as F...
118 posts • joined Wednesday 3rd December 2008 13:06 GMT
Posted Friday 19th March 2010 12:37 GMT
In Home Office planning to brick version 1 ID cards in 2012?
... from a "vital aid to combat terrorism" to a handy thing to have to make shopping easier.
Hmmmm, is that the scent of desperation I smell?
Posted Thursday 18th March 2010 13:30 GMT
In Nashville cops trade fire with leprechaun
Are they eligible for a Darwin?
Cos they sure were dumb as F...
Posted Monday 15th March 2010 13:25 GMT
In Robot mini space shuttle is go for April, says US air force
Maybe that's the maximum duration for keeping Space Marines in cryo-suspension...
Posted Monday 15th March 2010 13:25 GMT
In Programmer gets 4 years in TJX hack case
No such thing - they're all Software Engineers now!!!
Posted Wednesday 10th March 2010 16:14 GMT
In Zero* welcome for 200 Welsh TV shows - in Wales
Do I smell burning holiday cottages again?
Posted Wednesday 10th March 2010 10:17 GMT
In Brown promises Budget in a fortnight
... for them to bribe the electorate before the election.
Posted Friday 5th February 2010 13:32 GMT
In Stats boss slams Tory use of crime figures
"Sir Michael Scholar pulls few punches in the letter to Grayling, which said his comments were likely to undermine public trust in official statistics."
Very funny...
Posted Tuesday 26th January 2010 13:43 GMT
In 'Cyber Genome Project' kicked off by DARPA
Actually, from what I understand DNA fragments *can* be constructed in the lab sufficiently similar to a sample to pass most DNA "finger-printing" tests.
Seem to recall there was an El-Reg piece on this a while back.
Posted Thursday 21st January 2010 14:26 GMT
In MPs frozen out of super-secret copyright talks
If they show that much contempt for the duly elected representatives of this sceptic isle, how much more do they have for the great unwashed?
Posted Wednesday 20th January 2010 12:41 GMT
In FBI nicks 22 in classic bribery sting
As much as I do dislike bribery in any form, in many countries it is the *only* way of doing business. And if it isn't illegal in that country (which isn't named in the article), why the heck are the Federal Bureau of Idiots involved?
A UK company does something which isn't illegal in one country, but is in the US so the World Police spring into action again?
Posted Friday 15th January 2010 10:33 GMT
In GoToMyPC (finally) goes to your Mac
Then slap yourself on the back of the head for being a schmuck and leaving the laptop with the presentation on behind...
Posted Monday 21st December 2009 14:48 GMT
In Oz anti-censorship site is censored
... as does technology.
It does seem that long ago, that one of the main "selling points" of the inter-web thingy was that it *couldn't* be sensored.
Posted Wednesday 16th December 2009 14:30 GMT
In Mystery co. sues Apple, IBM, Microsoft, Adobe, Oracle...
... but not as rich as the lawyers.
Posted Thursday 10th December 2009 13:14 GMT
In LHC pulverises previous record: 2.36 TeV surprise collision!
Or are we just playing out the initial scenario from the original DOOM game?
You know, experiment gone wrong, lots of dead scientists and a lone grunt struggling to fight his way through the hordes of demons and undead until backup from the Marines arrive...
Luis old chum, it was just a computer game - not a vision from the future!!
Pineapple, just in case...
Posted Tuesday 8th December 2009 12:29 GMT
In TTXGP e-bike race dates announced, goes international
Hope they're faster than the cleaners in our office...
Posted Friday 4th December 2009 20:55 GMT
In 'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?
Just wait for one of Osram Bin Lightbulb's finest to expire just they are about to press the big red button on the wall...
Posted Friday 4th December 2009 14:04 GMT
In Google moves tanks onto property market's lawns
What is there to rob in an empty house? Plenty!
Many houses still contain original Victorian fixtures and fittings (fireplaces etc). These are worth a fortune to the right people and *have* been stolen from empty (ie unoccupied) houses.
As to comments about what is wrong with just going around and "casing" the area in person - never heard of Neighborhood Watch? Much easier to do it from the comfort of your pc before going there in person and much less likely to get you reported by the neighborhood busy-bodies...
Posted Thursday 3rd December 2009 13:31 GMT
In Google moves tanks onto property market's lawns
Use StreetView to walk around your favoured area, checking which houses are on sale/empty and go rob them - what's not to like?
Posted Monday 30th November 2009 18:43 GMT
In BMW to provide 'low emission' cars for London Olympics
Ah, the old "slag the competitor's product off" when they fail to win the contract ploy...that'll get them to change their minds.
Posted Monday 30th November 2009 13:51 GMT
In LHC smashes Tevatron record: Humanity enters the unknown
Is there a home for retired doom-mongers? Just wondering what happens to them when the world doesn't end on schedule.
Or perhaps it does and I'm living in the alternate universe where things worked out ok and some poor version of me is living in the universe where all the power grids failed due to the Y2K Bug and he now has to hunt wooly mamoths for food clothing etc
Posted Friday 27th November 2009 13:40 GMT
In Gov net disconnections could breach EU law
Government legislators who haven't a frikken clue what they are doing...
Posted Thursday 26th November 2009 13:22 GMT
In Italian prosecutors seek jail time for Google execs
If only that could be extended to the rest of the world...
Posted Tuesday 24th November 2009 13:12 GMT
In US Navy electromagnetic mass-driver commences tests
Reminds me of Babylon 5, where the Excalibur (?) virtually lost all power after firing their main gun...
Posted Tuesday 24th November 2009 12:58 GMT
In Collisions at LHC! Tevatron record to be broken soon?
As long as this "military research" results in my being able to get hold of a BFG, I don't care...
Posted Tuesday 24th November 2009 12:38 GMT
In UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files
If this had happened to a British Citizen in some communist/3rd world dictatorship, the media and everyone else would have been up in arms at the "travesty of justice".
But as it occured in the uk, well...that's perfectly fine. He was obviously a heinious criminal and needed locking up for all our protection - not to mention to protect all the kiddies.
Posted Monday 16th November 2009 14:32 GMT
In Cheerleaders in danger from cheerleading
This was just a preliminary study. They are hoping for funding for the next phase which will involve "hands-on" data gathering.
I'll quite happily volounteer my services as a data gatherer...
Posted Monday 16th November 2009 13:42 GMT
In Intel Israel rolls out the barbed wire
On the other hand, if you want to set up business in a country you should respect their laws and traditions.
Posted Friday 13th November 2009 13:47 GMT
In Police sitting on forensic backlog risk, says top e-cop
How many of these PCs are simply taken away on a phishing excercise? You'd never get a search warrant on the basis of "lets have a butchers and see what we can fit them up for", on the other hand in the current police state we live in...
Anyway, can't they just clone the hard-drive and then hand the PC back?
Posted Friday 13th November 2009 13:41 GMT
In Olympus PEN E-P1 Micro Four-Thirds camera
No optical or electronic viewfinder is enough to put me off anything that costs even 1/10th of that. Anyone who has tried to see the image on the LCD screen of a digital camera in bright sunshine will know exactly why...
Posted Tuesday 10th November 2009 14:09 GMT
In US boffins hail lab-grown rabbit todger
I'll wait for the "two for the price of one" offers...
Posted Friday 6th November 2009 13:17 GMT
In Travel agents accused of shilling for ID cards
"The Government basically haven't got a clue as to how it will really work, they are just filling an emotional vacuum between reality and perception. "
Oh, sorry. Did I mis-read that?
Posted Thursday 5th November 2009 12:58 GMT
In 115,000 nabbed for in-car calling
You see people using their phones while driving all the time. The 115,000 represents just the ones they have caught. And of course, "road safety" cameras detected almost all of them...
The worse cases of driving I have seen always occured near schools. Mom/Dad distracted by screaming/fighting kids in the back of the car causing them to be late for work etc.
Ban kids from cars - that should work. Make them walk or catch the bus.
Posted Wednesday 4th November 2009 13:15 GMT
In Lords want help on cyber attacks
The Lords require help finding their own arses...
Posted Tuesday 3rd November 2009 14:33 GMT
In Irish brogue voted world's sexiest accent
Richard Burton. Nothing more to be said.
Posted Friday 30th October 2009 10:30 GMT
In Palm Pre evicted from iTunes (yet again)
Failed to install on my PC. Every time I downloaded it was corrupted. But as I don't have a Palm Pre or an iPhone (just an iPod) - I don't really care too much.
But if you do have a Palm Pre, ummmm - maybe don't install the latest update and carry on as before?
Posted Wednesday 28th October 2009 13:35 GMT
In More than 5 million people now on DNA database
And have their DNA stored indefinitely...
Posted Wednesday 28th October 2009 11:18 GMT
In Forum king vBulletin muzzles paid-up protesters
Having paid a licence to to use the s/w, can vBulletin then revoke it? I can understand them saying no more support for this version, you are on your own unless you upgrade, but pulling the plug?
I smell a class action lawsuit coming up...
Posted Wednesday 28th October 2009 10:23 GMT
In Free Microsoft security tool locks down buggy apps
No idea how this works, but surely the Task/Memory Manager of the OS should be able to handle this? If they built the OS to be more robust in the first place...
Posted Tuesday 27th October 2009 13:17 GMT
In Land Warrior war-smartphone tech support goes to A'stan
Give the grunts what they want, not what someone thinks they want.
Paris, coz I'm sure they want her too...
Posted Tuesday 27th October 2009 11:36 GMT
In Suzuki unveils fuel cell e-scooter
That'll make a nice mess when some artic driving muppet crushes it under their rear wheels when they pull in too early.
Posted Monday 26th October 2009 13:51 GMT
In Toyota at Tokyo: micro e-car on display
than buy that. But being ugly hasn't stopped SMART cars shifting in their thousands.
I'd also hate to have a crash in one. Is it possible to get a negative score on the Euro NCAP test?
Posted Friday 23rd October 2009 13:20 GMT
In 'More than ever before' now studying Sci/Tech in Blighty
Be interested to see how many actually get work in their chosen subject/field.
Posted Friday 23rd October 2009 09:04 GMT
In Honda designs mainstream e-bikes
Yamaha have their 2Track system on a motocross bike (which I think has been seen in the Dakar endurance race). Also, I believe they made an R1 2Track demonstrator.
Regards 2-Stroke emissions, 2-stroke engines can be very efficient and very clean. Marine outboards and snow-mobile 2-strokes are powerful and much cleaner than your average motorcycle (or Trabby!!) 2-stroke.
Posted Thursday 22nd October 2009 15:22 GMT
In Honda designs mainstream e-bikes
Trust me, won't make any difference.
I have ridden an emergency services bike with Blues n Twos on full blast and they *still* don't see you. None so blind etc...
Posted Thursday 22nd October 2009 10:45 GMT
In Honda designs mainstream e-bikes
Now that's the sort of electric vehicle that could actually catch on. I used to own a C90, which seemed to do about a zillion miles to the gallon. Bikes like that are perfect for commuting on and as long as the recharge time is reasonable (and the purchase cost isn't stupidly expensive) then I can see them catching on in a big way.
Especially, if employers (or councils etc) install recharging points so they can be trickle charged during the day ready for the journey home. Never mind your sexy e-Sports cars, this is the way to get electric vehicles on the road in any quantity. And deal with congestion problems at the same time.
Posted Tuesday 13th October 2009 12:17 GMT
In Proles told to get online to save economy
Does that include more web-cams of a "dubious" nature?
Posted Thursday 8th October 2009 14:29 GMT
In MP urges Royal Mail rethink on postcode site takedown
Except it isn't the public, it is (for the most part) commercial organisations making use of the postcodes for financial gain.
An individual can make up to 15 free postcode searches each day. So try coming up with a sarcastic reply that doesn't make you look like a smuck next time.
Posted Thursday 8th October 2009 13:51 GMT
In Ralph Lauren DMCAs thin Photoshop skills
You must work in the same office I do!!! I swear she's a real-life version of Olive Oyle.
More Beer, bigger women.
Posted Thursday 8th October 2009 11:59 GMT
In MP urges Royal Mail rethink on postcode site takedown
Not entirely sure what the fuss is about - The Royal Mail (which last I looked is state owned) is trying to prevent unauthorised used of something created through the use of public funds.
If they weren't taking such action, I'm sure other people would be chastising them for *not* trying to stop unauthorised used of something created with public funds...
Shouldn't we be pleased that a publically owned organisation is trying to make a profit?
Posted Friday 2nd October 2009 12:01 GMT
In Small biz told to sort TV licences for PCs
Well, explains where all our licence money has gone, coz it sure ain't on quality programmes.