He'll truely be missed

My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.

There'd been a recent wave of gorgeous fashion models found naked and unconscious in laundromats on the West Side. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate holdups of neighborhood credit unions.

I was across town doing my laundry when I got the call on the double killing...

Double standards as usual

Pornography apparently "leads men to objectify women". Anyone who's ever seen a diet coke ad knows that this works both ways but they don't seem to want to point that bit out.

"There would be no obvious application in the case of cats stuck up trees, however."

Depends on how high the tree is.

Much as I hate to defend BT

Wouldn't any construction work like this require planning permission or something similar? If so then wouldn't whomever authorised the construction be at fault here? Or is that BT as well, in which case go ahead and sue BT for all they're worth.

What excellent service

It only took them about 9 months to decide to ban the ad, that's quite impressive. I haven't even seen that particular one for months now, they've put out at least 2 or 3 more since the one that's been banned and they all say pretty much the same thing, so will those ones also be banned or will there have to be complaints made about each one and a similar turnaround time to ban each one in turn?

I've got a better idea

If anyone tries to sue a search engine because they don't like the results they get when searching for their own name, just block their name entirely. If anyone searches for that person they'd just get a page explaining that the person they searched for doesn't want them to do that. See how this alleged model feels when suddenly no-one can find her agents website.

How did he have a license?

I thought it was a requirement of the driving test these days that you had to be able to read road signs and understand all of the informational displays of your car. If he's dyslexic to such a degree that he can't read numbers then how did he have a license?

Plus, even if he's telling the truth shirley the fact that everything was flying past him in a blur should have been an indication that he was going too fast.

Can someone explain to me

How Virgin can claim that their services are subject to the same problems as ADSL (interference, line length, etc.) when they have a length of co-ax (not fibre, whatever their ads claim) running directly into my house?

Surely since they are own every last bit of my line I should see the full 20Mb that I'm paying for? My speeds once hit 18Mb when they upgraded my exchange to support up to 50Mb, but it's now dropped down to around 9-11.

Is it just me?

Or do marketing phrases like 'reflect the resurgence of the company' make anyone else gag slightly?

Where's the NSFW label?

You can see her coxyx!

Fantastic

"To go back on this policy now would risk turning confusion into an utter shambles"

Translation: "We were wrong, but changing our minds now would make us look like we don't know what we're talking about. So we're going to carry on regardless and you will fall into line."

I've got a DAB alarm clock which constantly loses reception and it's time signal and as soon as it wears out (I give it another few months at most) I'll be going back to a good old FM radio. The stereo in my car is also FM and works fine, if I switch that one to DAB it'll be pretty much unusable with the crappy signal strength around here.

Useful icons?

Judging by the example one shown in the pic, John Doe was a family man living in the US, who carried a shield, either spent most of his time leaning forwards at an improbable angle or once put his foot through a staircase. He also apparently banged wooden stakes into things with his bare fists? and, had some form of nuclear-based super powers?

Simple way to decide who pays extra

You just have two doorways leading onto the plane, a narrow one and a double-door jobbie. If you can't fit through the narrow one without touching the sides then you pay the extra for the second seat and go through the other door.

For my money

I'd rather have Captain Kirk, bring on the Shat-Nav!

Yet another reason

To avoid the place. Though to be honest those bloody three-legged monster things that apparently roll around the countryside there were enough to scare me away in the first place.

Correct me if I'm wrong

But the system that was disabled was used to detect "unauthorised access", but the crims used stolen credentials to access the database. How would it then have known that those authorised credentials were being used by unauthorised persons?

Doesn't this mean that even if this mysterious system hadn't been disabled that it wouldn't have helped in this case?

"make it sound like an ice-cream truck or Fiat Panda"

I'd rather have one that sounds like a steam train, with a matching steam-whistle horn.

Just to confuse and/or terrify anyone approaching from the other direction in a dark tunnel.

Two points...

Firstly, I remember these things being around when I was back at school in the late 90s, has it really taken this long for the sensationalists to notice?

Secondly, has anyone considered that these children are just lying about what they're doing? How many teenagers claim to have had sex when they're just trying to sound big in front of their friends?

Are they a religion?

Is Scientology classed as a religion in Australia? In France I believe it's recognised as a cult by the government, and Germany classes it as a business.

They might want to souble check that if they seek to "make it illegal to incite hatred against religious groups"

Experiences of Merka

Flew into LAX and spent a full three and a half hours queuing up to be photographed, fingerprinted and interviewed by three separate Mexicans. Amusingly, the friend I was travelling with misheard the question "What do you do for a living?" and answered "Uh, yes?" but still got waved through.

During that time we were subjected to 6 sniffer dog searches which uncovered not one, not two, but three apples being illegally brought into the country by my fellow passengers (Two of which were leftovers from the in flight meal). I now have a mental image of the security staff piling up all of the confiscated fruit out back somewhere and destroying it in a controlled explosion.

When I came to leave again i sat in the terminal waiting and had one of their heavily armed stormtroopers come up behind me and look over my shoulder at what I was reading, a Readers Digest, not exactly a threat to democracy. I also bought two tins of Jelly Belly jelly beans from the airport and had to open the shrink wrap and show the contents of the tins to the staff as they claimed the tins were 'Impervious to X-Rays'.