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* Posts by Oliver Mayes

411 posts • joined 19 Nov 2008

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Nintendo lumbered with lawsuit in 3DS patent row

Oliver Mayes

Forget the 3D tech

I'm more concerned about the eyebrows on the person in the patent diagram.

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Ofcom maps state of UK broadband

Oliver Mayes
Headmaster

"expecially impressive"

My heartfelt contrafibularities on the use of such a cromulent word.

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Freedoms Bill: Gov may U-turn on personal data and DNA retention

Oliver Mayes

Small flaw in your plan

It's already been proven that the law doesn't apply to politicians or policemen. It only applies to us proles.

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank arrives at launch site

Oliver Mayes

So close

I was with you all the way up to 'defeat all creationists' and 'grow pot first'.

I'm not saying I disagree with you, keeping religion from getting a foothold in a new colony is an imprtant step in ensuring it's long-term progress.

Unfortunately though, you sound like a nutter. No offence.

Who exactly is going to fund this? It'd cost orders of magnitude more to send people/food/clothing/farming supplies and that kind of money is currently only held by private companies whose only interest is in making more money. As far as I'm aware there is currently no world government actively pursuing human exploration of space beyond Earth orbit so this isn't likely to happen within our lifetimes.

If I'm wrong about this then I'd gladly volunteer to be in maybe the second or third group of colonists sent out there (wouldn't want to be on the first rocket, need to make sure it'll land safely first). Who on Earth (no pun intended) would pass up the opportunity to be amongst the first Humans ever to live on another planet. Even if you didn't survive past the first generation or two it'd still get you into the history books.

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Apple strangleholds worldwide battery output

Oliver Mayes

I don't understand the need for "ultra-thin(tm)" hardware

If I'm carrying a laptop around I honestly don't care if it's 3 inches or 3mm thick. I still carry it in the same way. As long as it's thinner and lighter than a breeze block I don't see any need to change it. Am I the only one who doesn't understand why everything needs to be paper thin?

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Alleged LulzSec hacker still inside

Oliver Mayes

Here we go again

"Cleary's mum told Sun Ryan was agoraphobic and has a history of mental illness."

Meaning, "My little angel is sick so can't possibly be prosecuted for any crime he's accused of, he couldn't help himself." Where have we heard that one before?

"Ryan used to be part of WikiLeaks. He has upset someone doing that and they made a Facebook page having a go at him."

Really? Someone was so upset they actually went on Facebook and set up a group? It's obviously the government harrassing him.

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Apple will 'own games industry'

Oliver Mayes
Pint

Extrapolation is it?

"At this trajectory, if you extrapolate the market-share gains that they are making, forward for ten years"

And if you extrapolate from the speed I travel out of the office car park on Friday afternoon, forward for 1000 years, then my Peugeot will easily break the light barrier. Hopefully passing the pub on the way.

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Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

Oliver Mayes

Glad someone agrees with me

If this is true then they need to be stopped immediately. It's one thing to attack a big corporation it's another entirely to steal private information on potentially millsions of innocent people and publish it on the internet.

Again if true, this is them crossing the line into severe criminal activity needing harsh punishment.

Of course there will be people suporting them and saying things like "Yeah, stick it to the man, expose those security failings LOL!!!" but how will they feel when it's their credit card details being used by criminals. I've already had my card details stolen like this three times this year from different reputable companies and had to waste time cancelling and re-issuing my cards.

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Mozilla pushes out final Firefox 5 test build

Oliver Mayes

RE: *Splutter*

Yeah, 4 was an improvement and ran fine, the hardware rendering stress test maxed out at 60fps. A few patches later and it now runs at 9 fps, or 11 if I disable hardware rendering. Yes, on both of my PCs it runs faster with hardware rendering turned off.

My main PC is less than 2 years old and has been regularly upgraded, it doesn't have any issues running high-end games or 3D modelling but try to view a page with more than 5 gif's on it in Firefox and the browser practically locks up. Removing and reinstalling doesn't fix it either.

For reference, IE9 with hardware rendering turned on still maxes out the stress test at 60fps.

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Oliver Mayes

I agree entirely

I don't understand why they're rushing out the versions so fast. I'd prefer if they worked on getting the current version stable and faster first. It seems that with every release they've done over the last year or so the browser has got slower, I'm seriously considering jumping ship to Chrome but, of course, Chrome doesn't have all the add-ons I need yet.

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LulzSec hacks EVE Online as rampage goes on

Oliver Mayes

There isn't a reason

It's a group of teenagers with too much time on their hands who think that disrupting high visibility targets makes them cool. There is no reason to any of these hacks, it's purely because they think it's funny to annoy people.

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8m health records go walkabout

Oliver Mayes

Lets analyse this statement a bit shall we?

"All the laptops were password protected"

means - We created an account in Windows with a username and password of admin/admin.

"our policy is to manually delete the data from laptops after the records have been processed."

means - We require staff to spend time doing something boring and long winded, ensuring that no-one bothers.

"We have started an investigation into the issues raised by the loss."

means - We are paying a consultancy agency several hundred thousand pounds to recommend that we start using encryption.

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Creationists are infiltrating US geology circles

Oliver Mayes

"Let's not mention the incest"

Well since everyone on Earth came from Adam and Eve God must approve of incest.

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Codemasters pulls website after hackers pwn customer database

Oliver Mayes

Starting to get pissed off now

This is the third email I've had in the last month from a big company saying "Sorry, we got hacked and all of your card details have been stolen." Then they shrug it off and go back to operating in exactly the same way. How hard is it to have a secure system?

Why are these details being stored in clear text?

What happens when I see money leaving my bank account? Are my bank going to reverse the withdrawals or are they just going to shrug and blame me for not keeping my details secure?

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Lanarkshire wristslap after vulnerable adults' data lost

Oliver Mayes

"Adequate physical security measures will be implemented"

Why the hell were they not implemented before now?

Apparently the council isn't even bothering to pretend that they were taking precautions before, now they've been caught they will make a show of putting some effort in until the spotlights move onto another council. Then it'll be back to business as usual.

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Whitehall fraud pilots save £12m

Oliver Mayes

"Can we have a symbol for government incompetence?"

We've already got one, it's called Parliament.

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Apple pilfers rips off student's rejected iPhone app

Oliver Mayes
Meh

*squints*

Not sure if trolling or just fanboi.

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Nintendo takes control with next-gen games console

Oliver Mayes

A few thoughts

How much power does that controller need? Is it wired or does it have a big battery on it, what sort of play time do you get before having to recharge it?

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Two fat atoms get the nod

Oliver Mayes

Someone contact Tom Lehrer

The songs going to need another line added.

There's Antimony, Arsenic, Aluminum,Selinium

and Hydrogen and Oxygen and Nitrogen and Rhenium...

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Germans completely humourless: Official

Oliver Mayes

That one doesn't count

It was written by an Englishman and used as a weapon against the Germans.

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Daleks given a well-earned break

Oliver Mayes

Giving them a break? From what?

We got the new daleks last season, they made a token appearance in the finale and that's been it. The 'new new' daleks haven't actually had their own episode since Matt Smith took over.

I also think it's good that this season is actually pretty creepy, the show is supposed to scare children, that's the whole point. If your children are too scared then don't let them watch it, if they insist on watching it despite being scared then the show is working.

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Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Oliver Mayes

Blasphemy

Megablocks are bought exclusively by parents who don't really love their children.

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Zuckerberg: Give me your children

Oliver Mayes

Might actually be safer

Kids are using it anyway, they just enter a fake age to get in. If they're able to enter their real age and still use the site it'll be easier to identify young users and ensure they're not being contacted by 'dodgy' people. I know, I know, this might sound like a 'think of the children' rationalisation, but I still believe that having the users actual age will make it a lot easier to improve security for them.

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Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock

Oliver Mayes

Double standards again

If I stand out in public saying that I hear voices and screaming at the top of my voice that they're telling me that the world is going to end I'd get a nice new jacket with the long sleeves that tie up round the back.

But apparently if I claim that the voice in my head is god I would instead get media coverage.

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Media, industry and cops baffled as Qld Police return hack’s iPad

Oliver Mayes

Needs fixing

"Qld police are not just a joke, they are thugs who think they are the best thing that ever happened to the world."

Just replace "Qld" with "The" at the start there and you're all set.

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Heavy coffee drinking wards off deadly cancer in men

Oliver Mayes

Interesting

So you're saying I'm indestructible?

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Bin Laden's porn stash: Too good to be true?

Oliver Mayes

Roderick T Long, Really?

With a name like Rod Long he's well qualified to commentate on the issue isn't he?

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Reg reader lost for words over blank HP keyboard

Oliver Mayes

Maybe that's it

Maybe they're ensuring a steady supply of extra packaging by sending the letters seperately, each in it's own well padded box?

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Amazon refudiates Apple 'app store' trademark suit

Oliver Mayes

I agree entirely

I'm anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to see such pericombobulation.

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Computer glitch opens un-staffed supermarket to happy Kiwis

Oliver Mayes

Opening times?

All of the articles I read over the weekend about this said that the store usually opened up at 8am but mistakenly opened the doors at 1am on Friday. It wasn't until 9am that some people reported to the police that the store was open and unstaffed so that's 8 hours it was open, not 1.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10721082

http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/asiapacific/news/article_1634746.php/Self-service-at-supermarket-which-opened-itself

http://www.stuff.co.nz/nz-newspapers/west-coast-6013/news-6662/4920204/Good-Friday-free-for-all-at-Pak-n-Save

There seems to be a lot of confusion amongst different news sources about the details. Not really that important I know but I can't risk someone being wrong on the internet.

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Oliver Mayes

So you keep all of your receipts?

And when the police spend time tracking down all 24 people from the grainy CCTV camera footage and demand that they all show their receipts? If only one paying person hasn't got their receipt then there's no way to prove which of the 13 receipt-less customers didn't pay. Any one of them could say that they threw theirs away or lost it, without all 12 receipts accounted for there's no way to know who is telling the truth.

Nice try, but not really possible.

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PSN gaming network outage sparks DDoS rumours

Oliver Mayes

Nope

Was meant to be released Tuesday in the states and Friday in Europe.

But they did some clever viral marketing and offered to release it early online if enough people played some of their other games. They succeeded and it was released on Steam worldwide very late on Monday. Most stores worldwide then unanimously decided that all of them breaking the street date and selling it in store was better than losing several days sales to online.

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Oliver Mayes
Headmaster

Gah, tautology

PSN stands for PlayStation Network, referring to 'the PSN network' is therefore redundant.

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Suit settled, PS3 hacker donates $10,000 to EFF

Oliver Mayes

IANAL

But I believe in Sony's eyes, Jailbreaking = DMCA violation.

Sadly they also have the enormous funds and legal teams to back up their world view.

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NASA hands out second-hand shuttles

Oliver Mayes

Will it need a hanger?

It'll lose its shape hanging on a nail you know.

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STONERS are DESTROYING the PLANET

Oliver Mayes

Simple solution

Legalise it, grow it in the open in greenhouses so theres no need for the high intensity lamps.

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Microsoft struck by HTML5 commitment phobia

Oliver Mayes

Me neither

I haven't installed it and the only site that has ever asked me to is the Xbox live website. I'd actually assumed that Silverlight wasn't being used anywhere and Microsoft were still trying to convince people to use it.

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Punter bags 500GB SSD, finds 128MB Flash inside

Oliver Mayes

Read this one

http://www.crunchgear.com/2011/04/08/man-buys-samsung-500gb-drive-gets-screwed-or-bolted-rather/

Drive was pruchased from a market on the Russian-Chinese border, when he went back to complain, the stall was gone. Woooo, spooky. I wonder if there was a puff of smoke just as he turned his back.

The article also says that the firmware was altered to report that it was 500GB, and as files were added it calculated their sizes and deducted them from the available total so it looked like the whole file was transferred but only held 128MB at a time and then started writing over the start of the drive when it was full.

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A fifth of Europeans can't work out how much a TV costs

Oliver Mayes

Don't blame the schools

If someone can't work out what 10% of 500 is then they're likely beyond help.

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CPS: We won't prosecute over BT/Phorm secret trials

Oliver Mayes
Megaphone

"honest mistake or genuine misunderstanding of the law"

Utter bollocks! Since when has ignorance of the law been a defence? If they were receiving conflicting legal advice then there should have been no action taken until they were certain that they were acting within the law.

If an individual were to claim that they mistunderstood a law and so cannot be held liable for an offence they would still be prosecuted. Too much money exchanging hands behind closed doors here methinks.

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Deep-space travel bad for astronauts' tickers, say boffins

Oliver Mayes
Boffin

Iron ions? Heh.

Reminds me of Look Around You:

"This is a model of an Iron molecule, and this is a model of a model of an Iron molecule, modelled in Iron."

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Dig deep! Radio asks taxpayers for blank cheque

Oliver Mayes

It wasn't just the lights

One of my neighbours using a pertol lawnmower had exactly the same effect, signal dropped to nothing, even when the radio was running off batteries.

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Oliver Mayes
Unhappy

Enormous waste of time

I had a DAB alarm clock briefly last year, the reception was terrible, it took up to 5 seconds to 'tune' every time I turned it on and it lost reception completely requiring a power cycle every time I dared to switch a lightbulb on or off within 20 feet of it.

The technology simply doesn't work, why the push to force eveyrone onto it?

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Microsoft: IE9 not yet 'broadly' available

Oliver Mayes

Same here

I use Firefox exclusively, I have several other browsers installed as I work in web development and actually bother to check compatability with multiple browsers before making sites live. (Unlike many developers I've come acros over the years).

So even though I've probably opened IE on my home machine 4 times in the 18 months I've had it (every tiem was to help isolate a rendering issue) Microsoft no doubt count me as a user of their browser. In a few months when Windows Update insists that I update IE they'll probably also count that as an extra user of IE9. Even though I'll probably never even run it.

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Tesla Motors sues BBC for defamation

Oliver Mayes

re: erm...

The only people this will affect are those dumb enough to think that Top Gear is a serious review program. It's enourmously entertaining but most people figure out within 5 minutes that you can't believe a thing they say.

Do people selling Nitrous injection systems sue because the original Stig was killed by a Nitrous powered car falling off an aircraft carrier?

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Labour MP debuts fondleslab-assisted Parliament oratory

Oliver Mayes

re: extra l

Sorry, I obviously meant "la fond lesbian".

Italian for 'The Bottom Lesbian'

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Oliver Mayes
Coat

also

It's an anagram of 'a fond lesbian'.

Sorry, it's a slow day.

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Nintendo 3DS contains £60 in bits

Oliver Mayes

Age old saying

"Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it." - Publius Syrius

It could cost £5 in parts and be assembled for pennies by children in a chinese sweatshop (In fact that second bit is probably closer to the truth than they'll admit), but you could still sell the things for £100+ because the general public are always willing to pay the money for stuff like this.

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Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Oliver Mayes
Thumb Up

I like it!

Forget the space elevator, just have some bloke on the ISS with a bloody long yo-yo string.

He lets it down and you quickly clip a payload onto it as it comes within a few feet of th eground, then with a flick of the wrist it's on it's way orbit-ward.

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Oliver Mayes

What about

Largely inebriated nation dare send airplanes yonder

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