* Posts by Youvegottobe Joking

39 posts • joined 12 Nov 2008

Virgin Media customers suffer YET MORE YouTube buffering blues

Youvegottobe Joking

I had a 96% uptime with VM broadband when I lived in an ex-Telewest area. Longest downtime was 6 days. 6 fucking days. I must have rang the fuckers 20 times.

It was incredibly unreliable and I was stuck with the fuckers for a year. Much like the post above, their Indian support were terrible. Truly shit. I gave up calling because I would spend 30 minutes waiting for them to slowly winding their way through the scripted crap they call a decision tree before they realised it was not my equipment but it was their unlocked, wide open to the weather, street cabinet (held together with insulation tape on a few occasions).

I have not had a single second of unscheduled downtime with BT after > 2 years on Infinity 2. Yes, it goes down after midnight now and again for maintenance, but never during the day. Yeah there will be people who have no problems with VM and people who have had a bad time with BT ... but VM just suck balls at support.

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Hey, Joe. Give EMC the gun and SHOOT IT DOWN - before someone else messes 'round town

Youvegottobe Joking

What does EMC itself actually do? I cant believe Mellor asked this.......

Disclosure: I have EMC shares.

I wonder is it the registers policy or just this writer that is siding with an activist investor (holding 2%, whoop-de-doo) to split up a company for short term gain? These people are one teeny step up from asset strippers, you just know the fuckers would flog the shares as soon as they can offload during that brief upward blip in the share price

As for the question: What does EMC itself actually do? and then go on about being a holding company for EMC II, Pivotal and VMware. WTF?

Go to page 13 of http://www.emc.com/collateral/corporation/earnings/2014q3.pdf

Pivotal = $58 mil revenue

VMware = $1508 mil

Information Storage = $4051 mil

If I didn't know better I would have thought that the suspect submitter of this shit story was a shagging shill.

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Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

Youvegottobe Joking

Re: There is no way to opt out of this short of deleting the application.

Well I don't use their reader because its shite but surely adding adelogs.adobe.com to your hosts file would stop these information slurping wankers from finding out your personal data.

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Apple iPhone 5s still world's top-selling smartphone – report

Youvegottobe Joking
FAIL

Re: who are counterpart?

From their website: http://www.counterpointresearch.com/about-us

"Our goal is to deliver what you want."

And:

"All our data is based on solid statistical models"

Um, I'd like to know what they mean by 'models', in my part of the world that means "we have some data, and then we fleshed it out with guesswork".

Now it is entirely possible that Apple are right up there at the top, and in China there are loads of people who would sell their granny for one, but when you have some research company letting out questionable (where are your stats people??) looking for some free publicity then I am going to call bullsheet.

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Apple said to ink deal with China Mobile, adding 760 million potential iPhone customers

Youvegottobe Joking

Lots of knock off jesus phones in China

Iphones are a bit of a status symbol in china and the phone4s sold loads, not everyone could afford it but people bent over backwards to buy one. Remember the fake apple stores? I wonder how many were selling fake gear,,,,

http://www.tradingeconomics.com/china/wages

china average yearly wages according to this site is 46769 yuan, or £4300.

The cost of living in China has gone through the roof:

http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/country_result.jsp?country=China

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Keeping warm in winter the el Reg way: Setting a NAS box ON FIRE

Youvegottobe Joking

Re: How does it fare

I think the question was more along the lines of: How would it fare with a burning BRICK building landing on it?

I suppose the answer is to keep it in the attic.

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I want to play with VMs

Youvegottobe Joking

PCI Passthrough!!!!

I wanted to set up a FreeNAS server in a VM for home use and wanted to use commodity hardware and found that it is strongly recommended not to do it using virtualised storage (RDM's, VMDK's etc), it needs bare metal access to the storage. So now your options are limited because as far as I know all the hypervisors virtualise storage....

After some research I found that later versions of ESXi support PCI passthrough (also called IOMMU and VT=d) with the right CPU/Motherboard combo (partial list = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_IOMMU-supporting_hardware). Some checking on d'internet shows AMD A10 procs and some compatible mobos do this. £150 should get you both....

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EMC gobbles access-control biz Aveksa? Computer says... yes

Youvegottobe Joking
Joke

Re: Align, enable, priotize, detect and respond

Er nope, generally bee keepers break into hives

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Study: Megaupload closure boosted Hollywood sales 10%

Youvegottobe Joking
Facepalm

Not to mention the actual movies themselves that provided that 10%

So what happens if those studios had crap movie after crap movie and then managed to get a half decent movie out the door? Would that change anything? You be your ass it would. Biased shill study is biased.

In 2005 there was a studio called Franchise Pictures that excreted a movie called "A Sound Of Thunder" that resulted in a 97.6% loss. Film budget = $80mil and it made $1.9mil.

I bet that was the fault of those nasty file sharers. Those feckers.

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The universe speaks: 'It's time to get off your rock!'

Youvegottobe Joking
Terminator

"Science fiction writer Robert Heinlein summed it up best: "Once the human race is established on more than one planet and especially, in more than one solar system, there is no way now imaginable to kill off the human race."

There is; religion.

And more specifically, religious fanatics/nutters. Just give them access to some nice education and a selection of nasty viruses and thats one planet gone. Given enough time, friendly rivalries will turn into outright aggression and ultimately thermonuclear winter will kill off everything but the cockroaches.

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The official iPhone actually runs Android - in Brazil

Youvegottobe Joking
Childcatcher

What's in a name?

I wonder did they trademark Jesus Phone, might be a tough one to get past them in a strongly catholic country...... But no-one would be in any doubt what the product was.

I wonder if they export those android iphones? maybe its a nice metal case with some fruit above it on the back, or possibly just a picture of some rainforest on fire.

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Don't be shy, vendors: Let's see those gorgeous figures

Youvegottobe Joking
Facepalm

5 x 9's, let down by idiots

Down through the years I have seen companies spend huge amounts on their storage and then buggerall on everything else. Maybe thinking that they could have an outage but at least they will not lose their data.

5 x 9's switches are pretty damn expensive and surprisingly often you will find a pair of small departmental switches from the same 13a power socket attached to a storage system worth 100k or even single attached hosts because they ran out of ports on their departmental switches.

The worst one I saw?

A cleaners cupboard in the basement, 4 feet by 5 feet approx, with switches balanced on a stack of carpet tiles and cables up and down from a hole in the ceiling. The storage cabinet was backed up against the wall so no-one could service anything in the back of it. The worst part of this? There was no air conditioning and the temperature in the room was in the high 30's (centigrade).

That customer was expecting 5x9's availability.

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So: 6,500 Win 8 laptops later, how are BT's field engineers coping?

Youvegottobe Joking

Win 8 with touchscreen device is a much different experience than non-touchscreen devices

I used Win 8 on a standard laptop for work and it was a speedy OS, a good bit faster than Win 7 on the same hardware....but the usability was poor and my colleagues experience was the same, productivity took a nosedive. However on a touchscreen device it works ok, true it takes time to find where stuff lives, but it is not bad at all.

AC @10:44 hah hah hah

El Reg, please remove the ability to post anonymously, the amount of really crap attempts at trolling is getting out of hand. Or maybe put in a button alongside the crap troll so if a counter hits 10? 20? 30? then the user gets moved to a "freaking idiot" group, dont tell them they are in it, just dont display their posts. Should stop the cretins posting...... eventually. The build up of bile might lead them to break their computer so that would be a win too.

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Storage for 'Enterprise': What does that even MEAN?

Youvegottobe Joking

100% uptime, good luck with that

There is a reason why storage vendors all say 5 x 9's ...because they know that sooner or later there will be a DU/DL event. You are deluding yourself if you think that a home rolled cluster or whatever can have an 100% uptime over several years. Yeah you can mitigate DU/DL's by having synchronous replication to a remote site, but how long did that take to kick in, what happens if there is a server fart at 3am and something does not kick in properly?

Mostly when i think of enterprise (which is ALWAYS heavily discounted, I dont know anyone who pays full whack) I think of 24*7*365.25 support for kit that can tolerate a few faulty parts and some dude onsite repairing that kit in a reasonable amount of time.

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Remember back when "Broadband" ...

Youvegottobe Joking

My first "broadband" was 256k that dropped to 9600baud or less when it rained ....

At work we still connect to some of the hardware using 28.8k multitech modems, so I hear those mellifluous tones weekly. Issuing commands and seeing them typewriter across the screen 5-10 seconds after you type them.

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Windows 8: Sugar coating on Microsoft's hard-to-swallow tablet

Youvegottobe Joking
Facepalm

So yeah, a tablet OS called windows, that does not have any windows

They may have to reconsider calling this windows 8. A tablet OS through and through should not be called the same name (but a lower version) as something that is definitely NOT a tablet OS.

Even if you do manage to default to the desktop. There is no start button (windows key brings up the crap UI) so do you have to put a shortcut for everything on your desktop? No, you must use that crap primary colours "3 year old child designed this" UI.

So lets say you splash out and get a tablet to put this tablet OS on. Typing speed will be an order of magnitude slower, not good for business. Goodbye all the most popular games (thinking skyrim rather than angry birds here) so goodbye teenagers.

So who is this aimed at again? Cant see the itards dropping their precioussssss for this turd

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How are we going to search our hard disks now?

Youvegottobe Joking

RIP Google Desktop

Or is it?

Its unlikely that they are just going to hit a kill switch and everyones google desktop will just stop working ... its still better than the competition.

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Fukushima reactor core battle continues

Youvegottobe Joking

American design

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukushima_I_Nuclear_Power_Plant

"The plant consists of six boiling water reactors. These light water reactors have a combined power of 4.7 GW, making Fukushima I one of the 25 largest nuclear power stations in the world."

The reactors for Units 1, 2, and 6 were supplied by General Electric, those for Units 3 and 5 by Toshiba, and Unit 4 by Hitachi. All six reactors were designed by General Electric. Architectural design for General Electric's units was done by Ebasco. All construction was done by Kajima. Since September 2010, Unit 3 has been fueled by mixed-oxide (MOX) fuel, rather than the low enriched uranium (LEU) used in the other reactors. Units 1–5 were built with Mark I type (light bulb torus) containment structures, Unit 6 has a Mark II type (over/under) containment structure.

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Steve Jobs morphs into Darth Vader

Youvegottobe Joking

Dammit, we missed our chance when the reality distortion field was down :(

All the judas phone users will just have to wait for ugly bumper now

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Olympus Tough 8010 rugged camera

Youvegottobe Joking
Stop

Tough 8000

I have the immediate predecessor to this camera, the Tough 8000. It is great for going anywhere and not having to worry that you will damage it by dropping or anything but picture quality is really subpar. I thought the problem was me, so I got a friend who has been doing professional photography for 19 years and he could not get a good picture out of it either.

Also while investigating picture quality I read many places where the 8000's seals failed and the camera ended up with water inside and had to be returned (not from going over the 10 meter threshold, sometimes it happens in pools and while people were in the sea still standing on sand). If it happens within 1 year you can send it back but the camera you will get back to you will be a refurb. If it happens a second time they will NOT replace again.

Also in the small print for the 8000, the seals are only guaranteed for 1 year. People were quoted £100 to replace seals.

Yes, I am sorry I bought the Tough 8000 based on glowing "professional" reviews.

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Jumbo-jet laser cannon tested against missile

Youvegottobe Joking
Troll

Real footage?

Could have been a screen capture from EVE Online for all we know

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Neanderthal woman could whup Schwarzenegger

Youvegottobe Joking
FAIL

What about comparing to modern day women?

I, for one, welcome our muscle strapped speedy neanderthal overlords.

When comparing these neanderthal amazon type women why didnt he compare them to modern day women? Surely the difference in muscle mass would have been even more pronounced?

And of course he does not go into the average lifespan of those guys, 40 years old would have been positively ancient to them.

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Swissdisk suffers spectacular cloud snafu

Youvegottobe Joking
FAIL

Another online data storage company with propietary kit/software goes titsup

Another online data storage company with propietary kit/software goes titsup - whowouldathunkit

Questions are:

Whose kit are they buying to give the service that people thought they were paying for?

What happened to the backups?

How many customers do they think they can fool a second time? (1, Dubya teehee)

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Samsung GT-M8910 Pixon 12 cameraphone

Youvegottobe Joking
Grenade

whats with the numpties comparing a phone camera with digital cameras and DSLR's?

This phone camera is not meant to replace your digital camera. Of course the pictures from even a decent 5Mp camera can be better, they have bigger sensors and lenses etc. But this is on a phone that you carry everywhere with you and will take a picture when you otherwise would have had nothing. No-one is expecting to get DSLR or even good 5Mp camera quality pictures, but this phone camera will do when there is nothing better.

Obviously most people/consumers/sheep think that 12Mp phone cameras are going to be better than the ones on the last phone model so that reason along with ITS THE LATEST PHONE LOOK AT ME I AM COOL will be the main reason people buy this model and ones like it.

I dont expect wedding photographers are going to be pulling this out and taking snaps when the groom puts the ring on the brides finger. So can the camera snobs please gtfo and get a life.

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Virgin Media network goes down down south

Youvegottobe Joking
Thumb Down

Own mail servers on VM?

By Kev K Posted Wednesday 30th September 2009 12:14 GMT

Been getting calls all morning about this, NTL Biz pop servers seem to be down round here - I dont use their mail servers but do use openDNS so havent noticed any issues.

My 50 mb at home seems fine (again opendns and own mail servers) - as a rule I dont have any issues with VM or the NTL Biz service much - I mean MUCH better reliability than BT in these parts.

I had my own email server when I was on ZEN Internet and it worked fine, but I moved house and had to use VM due to cost but it turns out that NTL had so many bots/spammers etc that their entire IP range is on almost all the block lists. Makes using your own mail server almost impossible :(

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Researchers unmask two faces of zombie networks

Youvegottobe Joking
Paris Hilton

Botnets, why cant antivirus find the software on all theses PC's?

I dont get it, are all these PC's in botnets running out of date antivirus software (or even none at all?).

Botnet software infested pc's are spewing out emails, so a simple block on port 25 and having to use the ISP's port/server with software on that server that will stop obvious spam would make a massive difference.

No doubt then the botnet will use a completely different port to connect to a compromised email server somewhere but nonetheless it would lower the total amount.

Paris, because she uses different ports

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Blind one-legged man wins arse-kicking contest

Youvegottobe Joking
Paris Hilton

Shouldnt that be that blind one-legged LOSES arse-kicking contest?

"On arrival, the officers found James Ray Howard, 42, "shirtless on his front lawn"

One officer discharged his Taser, planting the weapon's twin barbs into Howard's head and shoulder and zapping him with a crippling electric current."

So the guy is off his head and shirtless and can barely see them and they shoot him in the head with a taser. Those police guys are hard core.

Paris because she would know how to properly treat a blind one-legged guy

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First Samsung Android phone out next week

Youvegottobe Joking

Bah, soon every phone will be locked to one of the netowrks

I wanted to get the Samsung i8910 but its Orange only and they are just rubbish where i live. Now this one is O2 only its possible I might end up with it....

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Europe should put privacy at centre of new laws

Youvegottobe Joking
Unhappy

Now if hewrup can force the UK gubmit to implement these laws we might be on to something

The UK has to be one of the worst offenders in Europe for personal data being held for too long or even being collected in the first place (like as earlier poster mentioned, DNA of people who were not convicted being stored). I was surprised to read that ANPR is being used to track everyone as well, but this site makes depressing reading:

http://www.openrightsgroup.org/orgwiki/index.php/National_Vehicle_Tracking_Database

Can the UK authorities be brought into line or will they will the wriggle off the hook again threatening to throw their toys out of the pram if they dont get their way.... time will tell

And it would be nice if the numpties who leave all our personal on trains and such get sacked and thrown in jail for gross negligence.

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Nortel staff sacked without redundancy payout

Youvegottobe Joking

Yikes, bad news

What are the laws like in Sweden for paying redundancy? My cousin works for them in Stockholm, would be very bad for her if she just got statuatory (if there is statuatory redundancy in Sweden that is)

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Irish ISPs rally against record label anti-piracy threat

Youvegottobe Joking
Pirate

Finally, what the bloody hell were they doing for the last few weeks

We all know that IRMA does not have the law behind them, they just hit Eircom and Eircom being wimps caved in, IRMA thought they could bluff the rest of the ISP's and now they have revolted.

HAH.

Lets see them drag all the ISP's to court. teehee

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Dragons' Den winner infringed own patent, IPO rules

Youvegottobe Joking
Thumb Down

They look very similar, he's gonna lose

I am guessing that they work the same way as well.

But to be honest, I cant see why I'd choose either of them over a standard cable tie/tie wrap.

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IBM drops Power7 drain in 'Blue Waters'

Youvegottobe Joking

@ Chris C

The storage boxes attached to the clusters can be in a seperate room if necessary. The nodes themselves would not need any hard disks. Note that the storage boxes can put out a fair bit of heat but even so that would only be a fraction of the heat put out by a high density rack.

Most current high density racks blow out an incredible amount of heat (standing behind a rack of HP bladecentres is like you just opened the door of your car on a hot day), but almost all of that is from the CPUs, PSUs and chipset/RAM. The remainder of the circuitry generally does not even have heatsinks on them. If you cool the ram/chipset and CPU with water and the power comes from somewhere else then there will be very little heat generated by the rack and minimal cooling would be required.

Ideally as mentioned these datacentres should be put in places with cheap power and low temperatures. Also a good idea mentioned above, the hot water produced could be piped to nearby residences and offices during winter...

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NYT scribe: No bailout for Tesla-buying 'centimillionaires*'

Youvegottobe Joking
Coat

Centimillionaire?

A person with a million cents?

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SanDisk flash holds secret flash sauce till after Christmas

Youvegottobe Joking

@ Steven Jones

Correct on all points. Almost all proper storage arrays these days have large amounts of mirrored cache and redundant disks so data is always secure. Proper enterprise arrays will fetch the data you want plus quite a large chunk of the surrounding data but this method of prefetching is defeated with largely random reads. Any time there is a cache miss where data has to be fetched from disk(s) then you will experience significant slowdown.

SSD's sound like they would be ideal for that, if they could only get more relaible (anyone want to rebuild a raid5 SSD disk - yikes) and speed up the writes.... maybe writes are not as important as data written to the array is going to sit in cache for a while and could be written in the background. Leaving written data in cache for a while is probably a good idea, fresh data would likely be read many times shortly after its been written...

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Honda whips out fuel-cell sci-fi style sportster

Youvegottobe Joking

Give the guy who designed the front a raise, fire the guy who did the rear

While the hydrogen tanks are easily nickable, its say the bigger danger is the chavs setting fire to it because a) made of plastic, should go up fairly easily and b) two HUGE aerosol cans!!

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HTC Touch HD Windows Mobile smartphone

Youvegottobe Joking
Flame

I doubt it tries to be an iphone killer

The fanbois will always rubbish any phone that the pundits/hacks/reviewers say is an iphone killer. I seriously think that this is aimed at business and in that space should do well.... unfortunately reviewers will only go on about its screen and compare it features to the iphone its spirals down from there

I have tried my mates iphone for 3 days, and while it is ok I honestly dont see what all the fuss is about. It just does not have the features I want, decent camera (it was ok.... for a 2mp camera), stereo bluetooth and most importantly long battery life. This HTC phone review does not mention bluetooth, exchange interoperability (WM so it should be ok, but was not mentioned at all) or any other business must have app .... just iphone this and iphone that...

It will get thoroughly slated in these comments because the reviewer concentrated on trying to make it into something that it is not ever going to be for the apple zealots.

for the record, I am looking at the N85 .. flash isnt great but otherwise a fine looking phone

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Warrington first to get Virgin Media 50Mb/s

Youvegottobe Joking
Unhappy

VM's quality of service is rubbish, cant see that changing

I have had about 2 weeks of no broadband service over the last 18 months, Every now and again it just stops working. It is not my modem or the street cabinet, it is usually affecting large areas of the Southeast. 97 to 98% uptime has to be the worst in the industry.

Unfortunately my phone line can only support low adsl speeds so I am stuck.

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US lost Cold War bomb under Greenland ice

Youvegottobe Joking
Coat

Huh?

I cant think of anything like that..... hey whats that coming out of the sea??? OH MY GOD

GGGGOOOODDDDDZZZZIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAA

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