* Posts by Winkypop

5642 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2008

Cops raid home of ousted data scientist who created her own Florida COVID-19 dashboard

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FAIL

Pointing guns at kids over a “hacking” case?

Classic America

Classic fail

Uri Geller calls off 20-year ban on Pokémon trading card that 'stole' his 'signature image'

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Bent

The spoon trick is so lame.

Be a magician by all means, just don’t insist your “powers” are real.

No one is buying that shtick anymore.

Manchester United email servers remain offline amid what is being called a 'ransomware' attack

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Devil

Maybe Fred the Red has gone over to the dark side

A devil’s gotta think about his retirement one day...

HP CEO talks up HP-ink-only print hardware and higher upfront costs for machines that use other cartridges

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Thumb Up

Re: Dictionary

Re Epson Eco Tank.

Bought the 2750, still using the original supplied ink 2 years later. Not problems so far.

Frenchman who wanted to 'smash a guy's face in' fined €135 – despite correctly filling out paperwork stating why he left home during lockdown

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Windows

We called our “aquarium” room the “Departure Lounge”

Weeks, months, maybe a year.

None survived.

Alibaba chief says China's new internet laws aren’t just good, they’re right and welcome and necessary

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Big Brother

The re-education internments will continue

Until morale improves.

- Dear Leader

Crooks social-engineer GoDaddy staff into handing over control of crypto-biz domain names

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Same same

“GoDaddy is committed to protecting our customers’ data and the security of our infrastructure, and our teams are vigilantly monitoring for attacks and potential vulnerabilities.“

Yeah right.

Except when they aren’t.

Apple's global security boss accused of bribing cops with 200 free iPads in exchange for concealed gun permits

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Alert

Send money, guns and lawyers

...with iPads

(Apols to Warren Zevon)

China offers world its COVID QR Code movement passport at G20 Leaders' Meeting

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Thumb Down

“We need to further harmonize policies and standards”

Harmonize is code for Weaponize when used by the Chinese Government.

I say “Pooh” to that.

Facebook sues to shut down alleged Instagram clone maker over scraping and sharing personal info for cash

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Coat

Alleged perp is in Turkey

Well, that’s Zuck stuffed

EU says Boeing 737 Max won't fly over the Continent just yet: The US can make its own choices over pilot training

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Re: Very wary

Thanks, but I already avoid all their aircraft.

So, not a problem.

Bloated middle age beckons: Windows 1.0 turns 35 and is dealing with its mid-life crisis, just about

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Windows

Old?

I’m not old, you’re old!

In 2016 Australia's online census failed. Preparations for the 2021 edition have been rated 'partly effective'

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FAIL

Hint

Effectively, we have the same Government as we had in 2016.

Bush fire preparedness: Fail (still done nothing)

Robo-Debt: Illegal, people died

National covid response: NSW is doing a fine job, but stuff the Labor States

Sports rorts: Well, um..... moving on

Census 2021: Write your own adventure.

Trump fires cybersecurity boss Chris Krebs for doing his job: Securing the election and telling the truth about it

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Facepalm

Worlds biggest snowflake

Donald J Trump

Halt don't catch fire: Amazon recalls hundreds of thousands of Ring doorbells over exploding battery fears

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Flame

Seems harsh

One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,

One ring to bring them all and in the darkness burn them.

Amazon makes big bet on New Zealand to crack Indian market

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Trollface

Paywall

Great idea, for cricket

Mr President? Donald?! Any chance you can actually decide if Oracle can buy us or do we have to leave?

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Devil

I think Donald is a tad pre-occupied at the moment...

Running around bolting closed all the Whitehouse doors and windows.

Missing Alan Turing memorabilia to be returned to Blighty from the US, 36 years after it went walkabout

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Re: In light of this great celevration ...

“Repatriated pieces”

Coming soon to this site.

BM Towers. (previously the British Museum)

Luxury inner city accommodation.

With less than two months left, let's check in on Brexit: All IT systems are up and running and ready to go, says no one

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Trollface

Brexit needs more high profile consultants

I hear Donald Trump may be available.

I think he’s about done with his present gig.

Quite a good CV for something written in crayon.

Remember 2013? This coffee machine does: If I could turn back time – I'd reboot this PC

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Coffee/keyboard

Coffee from a vending machine

A true act of desperation

No need for more asteroid-blasting attempts, NASA's OSIRIS-REx has more than enough space dirt

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Coat

Unlucky

They just missed the Kewpie doll and the Watch

After Dutch bloke claims he hacked Trump's Twitter by guessing password, web biz says there's 'no evidence'

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Trollface

Well, Trump is stupid enough

See title

Congrats, Meg Whitman, another multi-billion-dollar write-off for the CV: Her web vid upstart Quibi implodes

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Re: When you first hear of a company when it fails..

Its good for potential investors though...

If you can see this headline, you're certainly not reading it on Twitter: All tweets, notifications vanish

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Twitter down

This is fine

We bought a knockoff Lego launchpad kit from China for our Saturn V rocket so you don't have to

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Real actual Lego?

Not in our house.

No, we had to make-do with the no-name generic soft plastic knock-off type bricks.

We got so used to them we wouldn’t play with real Lego.

Still have a bag of the stuff, complete with pieces with dog chew marks...

Elizabeth Holmes' plan to avoid her Theranos fraud trial worked out about as well as her useless blood-testing machines

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One narcissist runs a fake company

The other runs a chaotic country

Plus ça Change

'Facebook simply would not exist today if not for Bletchley Park,' says social network – but don't hold that against it

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TNMOC is awesome

They are nerd-tastic ladies and gents.

Google won’t let Australia have shiny new toys unless it picks apart pay-for-news plan

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Facepalm

Re: Aussie guvmint are muppets.

Centre-right government.

I prefer the term “Murdocracy”

More accurately reflects reality.

Someone not only created a comment-spewing Reddit bot powered by OpenAI's GPT-3, it offered bizarre life advice

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Trollface

Is that the truth?

Or did you read it on the Internet?

Was he sent on a spool's errand or something? Library staffer accused of stealing, reselling $1.3m of printer toner

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Devil

If you’re going to steal over 1 million dollars

You’d better already be on the plane to Rio before they discover it.

Pack your bags! Astroboffins spot 24 'superhabitable' exoplanets better than Earth at supporting complex life

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Send the politicians first

We’ll wait....

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

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Facepalm

Excel by print only

Worked with a “project manager” who insisted on Excel.

Only, he refused to accept the data as an .xls file.

It had to be printed. Only printed.

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Black Helicopters

Re: Standard government work....

AC

You know too much!!!!!

What is it about McDonald's, cultural black holes, and not being able to make tech work?

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Special sauce

Borkage upsize.

They do have a clown as their mascot after all.

Talk about working smarter: NASA scientists searching for craters on Mars train AI software to do the job for them

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Alien

Had an accident?

Call us on 1800-555-MARS

Our operators are standing by.

It's 2020, so let's just go ahead and let Amazon have everyone's handprints so it can process payments

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Hey Amazon

Can you tell how I’m holding my hand up to you right now?

Take a guess...

G'day mate, I'll take two tinnies, a packet of Tim Tams, some Vegemite, and a bork

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Pint

Bottle-O

AKA: Drive thru bottle shop.

Two slabs of VB in the boot son and a bottle of fizzy stuff for the Missus.

Uber allowed to continue operating in English capital after winning appeal against Transport for London

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Coat

All rise!

Magistrate: Clerk of the court, call me an Uber please. I'm late for lunch at the club.

Amazon bean-counter, her husband, father-in-law cough up $2.6m after SEC collars them on insider-trading rap

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Trollface

That's a shame

She could always get a job working for Trump's accountants.

SAP S/4HANA rollout at Queensland Health went so well that hospitals bent over backwards to avoid using it

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SAP

Ve haff vays of making you do things!

FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

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Alien

Year 50,534, onboard interstellar ship Faaaaark

Alien commander: Science officer, why do you think there used to be a sentient race here?

Science officer: They left their shit everywhere.

Putin to Trump: Let's collude to stop election hacking

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Formal agreement

Better than blackmail and coercion I guess.

Maybe Trump will even pay his taxes one day!

Wonder of wonders

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April

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Coat

Queues in Kent and order places

Sounds like the government is telling people to just far-queue.

First-world problems: The pumpkin spice latte is here, but the Starbucks loyalty card app has wiped my balance

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Coffee/keyboard

Coffee chain coffee

Ack!

Especially Costa and Starbucks.

Facebook is the internet's cigarette: Addictive and laced with nasty stuff – 'shocking images, graphic videos, headlines that incite outrage'

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A cigarette

....in a toilet

Ex-eBay global intel staffers to admit they cyberstalked online tat bazaar's critics – who got pig heads, funeral wreath, and more in the mail

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Pirate

Charming corporate culture

Allegedly....

'I don’t want to see another computer for the rest of my life'... Brit Dark Overlord cyber-extortionist thrown in an American clink for five years

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WTF?

Actual threats and menace?

Just 5 years?

Seems light.

Amazon staffers took bribes, manipulated marketplace, leaked data including search algorithms – DoJ claims

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Coat

Follow the cash

Find the corruption

—-> Going thru their pockets

Let's go space truckin': 1970s probe Voyager 1 is now 14 billion miles from home

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Boffin

One day...

The Oort Cloud welcomes careful drivers

ByteDance rebuffs Microsoft's TikTok purchase proposal

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Let Trump buy it

Watch the kiddies jump ship.