* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Beer mats to tout tat to mobiles over wireless NFC

Code Monkey

Re: The only innovative use of NFC I've heard of so far.

Nice idea but it's hardly remote.

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Code Monkey
Thumb Down

Exactly the sort of thing I go to the pub to avoid.

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For flock's sake: Scared sheep send SMSes to Swiss shepherds

Code Monkey

It'll be texts from dog next. http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

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Samsung lengthens Note phone-cum-tablet to 10 inches

Code Monkey

Please Samsung, get Dom Joly to advertise this in the UK.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j6DpdJCf5dg/TZhXoZ6kYKI/AAAAAAAAD7w/-k8Wt74Hv8M/s1600/dom_joly_phone.jpg

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Code Monkey

Sounds nice but it's no bacon butty - too much frippery.

Bacon, butter, bread, sauce. Resolve to never drink again.

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Code Monkey

Re: That isn't proper bacon

I'd stick with good bacon every time. Danish bacon's just nasty - full of water.

For me it's good British bacon if flush, porridge if not.

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Airline leaves customer on hold for 15 hours

Code Monkey

Re: KLM much worse since Air France tie-in, I wonder why?

Meanwhile Air France have adopted the Dutch approach to food. Truly a marriage made in hell.

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Facebook: 83 million IMPOSTERS stalk our network

Code Monkey
Windows

I know we Reg readers are a cyncial bunch but did anyone think their valuation was justified? Anyone at all?

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Boy cuffed after Twitter troll's drown threat to Olympic diver Tom Daley

Code Monkey

Re: Good

I share your doubts that less famous folks would get so quick a response from plod but that doesn't mean they're wrong to arrest this clown. He's made a death threat and that's against the law.

Hopefully this will scare the shite out of the wee scrote, Tom Daley will decline to press charges and that'll be an end to the matter but arrest is the correct response - IMO of course.

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Jackson’s Hobbit becomes a trilogy

Code Monkey
Trollface

A cinematic first

Wow. No director's ever milked a Hobbit (on anything like this scale) before.

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Finally!

What a fantastic moment for British justice and common sense. Good job we haven't looked like fools or anything.

Well done, all!

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Never mind Azure: They BROKE Twitter!

Code Monkey
Trollface

Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

So how is working for Google, xperroni?

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HP Envy 4-1010ea 14in Ultrabook review

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: How on earth

Yes. To be classed as an Ultrabook only requires an Intel Core processor.

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Three punters' data use doubles

Code Monkey
Coat

Re: If only Orange would notice....

Hopefully not uploading a video log to YouTube

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Home Secretary to decide on McKinnon extradition by October

Code Monkey

Re: Sledgehammer meets nut

The sad thing is the case categorically doesn't warrant a custodial sentence but McKinnon will receive a one if extradited.

It's time this cruel farce ended.

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Brooks, Coulson to be CHARGED over phone-hacking

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Stop Press - Reg headline to CONTAIN random capitalized WORDS for no GOOD reason

I! Rather! Like! The! Yahoo! Ones!

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CentOS penguins maul Oracle's Linux migration pitch

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

"If it 'ain't broke, why break it?"

Exactly. CentOS is the absolute dogs danglies and all for the excellent price of free!

We run CentOS for dev, staging and production servers and it's rock solid. I'm unashamedly a CentOS fanboi.

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Apple boots privacy name-and-shame app Clueful from store

Code Monkey
Thumb Down

"for reasons that are unclear"

"Because we said so" - Apple

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Where there's brass, silver and gold ... there's also muck

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: cubic litres?

* 415846 DD-cup Bulgarian funbags or 0.2845 Olympic-sized swimming pools

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Raspberry Pi rolls out speed surge Raspbian OS

Code Monkey

@Bill Smith 1 Re: Daft question

Perhaps you're not the target market for the Pi. The extra stuff you describe is the sort of gubbins a lot of IT pros and tinkerers have lying around.

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Code Monkey
Linux

Re: Daft question

You buy (or already own) the SD card. The OS is free.

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Sony preps PS3 with old-school design

Code Monkey

Not so good for my living room

Given that my PS3 lives under the telly, a toploader would be a bugger. Or it would if I used the PS3 for anything other than iPlayer.

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UK's web super-snoop powers could be extended to councils

Code Monkey

You may also remember the Tories attacking it when Labour tried to bring it in. And during the election.

They're all fearful, greedy, self-serving shitebags and none of them deserve our support.

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Seize your moment, Microsoft: iPad is RUBBISH for enterprise

Code Monkey

Re: Why is the windows user icon a tramp?

Because Windows drives people me to drink?

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Move over Raspberry Pi, give kids a Radio Ham Pi - minister

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Radio?

While we're scraping the barrel of old technology, why not Telegraph Pi?

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Asteroid miners to strap 'scopes to new Virgin Galactic rocket

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Valuable stuff?

I suspect a new bubble. In SPAAAACE!*

* if overusing "in SPAAAACE" is good enough for El Reg it's good enough for me.

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Code Monkey

Re: Surely?

I'm no astroboffin but my understanding is our orbit is very slowly moving away from the Sun. We'd need a lot of space gold to alter that trend.

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LOHAN to brew thermite for hot ignition action

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Thermite

As a mere admirer of explosions - certainly no boffin - thermite gets a huge thumbs up from me*

* for what it's worth.

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Can neighbours grab your sensitive package, asks Post Office

Code Monkey

Re: Door stickers are bad

It's not that unusual. My next-door neighbours are also [my number] + 1 and [my number] - 1

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Finding the Twitter psychopath ratio

Code Monkey
Facepalm

The Online Privacy Foundation go datamining. Satire is dead.

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Numbers don't lie: Apple's ascent eviscerates Microsoft

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: "the anglepoise iMac"

Thank you. Now I understand.

Yours

Formerly Confused of Englandshire.

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My dad found the Higgs boson! Reminiscences of a CERN kid

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Scotch?

Is that the same as scotch breath? I sometimes develop that.

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California clears way for Steve Jobs' 'private Apple spaceship'

Code Monkey

Re: Apricot trees?

It was Glenrothes, yes.

I worked for an Apricot reseller in the 90s. Nice PCs, some very nice servers. Couldn't compete with Dell, though. Shame.

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Review: Samsung Chromebox

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: Was Chrome, as an OS still born?

"Go on then give me some links as I've been after such a device for a while"

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Allwinner+A10

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Europe's prang-phone-in-every-car to cost €5m per life saved

Code Monkey
Trollface

Re: could cut vehicle thefts also

It'd be trivial to get it to talk to the 4sp API as well. And you just know some bastard is going to do it!

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Code Monkey

If you want to save lives I'm sure there are better ways to spend the money (i.e. something that saves 2 lives per €5m is twice as good and so on).

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Facebook: Our phone app DID seize your email

Code Monkey

Bug my arse

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Brits upscaling their TV buys

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: small for bedroom, large for living room?

I agree with your mum. It's enough.

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LinkedIn inked out: Twitter cuts off jabberhose to suits

Code Monkey
Windows

Who on earth would want link their Twitter account linked in to LinkedIn? I'd be just as likely to put a link to my Reg comments on my CV.

Shame for marketroids, not an issue for real people.

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Sozzled Americans nagged by talking urinal cake

Code Monkey
Pint

Re: Just what we need

I'd be inclined to piss on the floor if the bog started playing adverts. Then I'd find another pub.

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Code Monkey

Re: Justified plumbingcide

Without wanting to turn this into another "Americans and guns" borefest, it could easily lead to shot urinals.

Won't somebody think of the khazis?

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Dixons and Best Buy start selling Google Chromebooks

Code Monkey

Re: Punters will want to told one simple thing

Yup. It's just a really bad idea. I can't see anyone forking out a laptop's worth of money for nothing even close to the functionality. Even a smartphone's more use offline.

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Panasonic chief says no to low-cost OLED TVs

Code Monkey

Not the same.

CRT = yer basic bogpaper

LCD = fancy bogpaper with Aloe Vera

If you want to pay all that extra money for a moistened arsehole, that's up to you. I'm fine with it as long as my finger doesn't got through.

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Code Monkey

I'll stick with my CRT til it breaks, thanks. Yeah take that Panasonic!

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Breaking: Megaupload seizures illegal says NZ High Court

Code Monkey
Facepalm

"We shouldn't have sent them abroad - please can we have them back"

[slow hand clap]

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Microsoft to open UK retail store early next year

Code Monkey
Pint

"Springtime for Ballmer and Redmondy"

It's only Thursday but have a (pretend) beer on me!

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TERROR in SEATTLE: Gang of violent LEPRECHAUNS on the loose

Code Monkey
Windows

"dancing with a girl"

After their Lucky Charms more like.

Don't fuck with leprechauns!

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El Reg official units of measurement: Linguine, Jubs, Hiltons and all

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: Lego has come a long way...

Playmobil

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'People should be free from Peeping Toms' snapping pics of them!

Code Monkey

Re: "it feels good to have produced my quota of pedantry so early in the day"

... such as pointing out the ugly "from" in my last comment.

Send coffee.

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Code Monkey
Thumb Up

"it feels good to have produced my quota of pedantry so early in the day"

+1 But don't let this stop you from producing more.

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