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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Investor pulls out of Facebook, pumps cash into pork-printing joint

Code Monkey
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Re: Vegetarian bacon!

Bacon fries are better but come in a disappointingly tiny bag. Given the choice I'll always go for Frazzles.

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Code Monkey
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Re: Well seeing as how printer ink costs more than champagne...

Surely that would be a jam jam in the output tray.

Mine's the one with the dozen printed scotch eggs in the pocket.

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Code Monkey
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Headmaster

Re: Vegetarian bacon!

Frazzles are made of corn. Always have been.

</greasy-snack-pedant>

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Sony pushes patent for interactive TV ads

Code Monkey
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Tellies with an OS - i.e. tellies you can root - will be commonplace one day. Then we'll have telly without meerkats and bloody opera singers telling you where to buy your car insurance.

Heck I want that more than I want a flying car!

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REVEALED: Everything Everywhere new 4G logo ... a SNAIL?

Code Monkey
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FAIL

Also the snail's on its back - ready to be noshed by the first passing thrush or Frenchman.

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Samsung Galaxy Beam Android projector phone review

Code Monkey
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A solution in search of a problem

While a lot of folks are happy to use their phones' MP3 player and camera instead of a dedicated device a projector is niche, niche, niche. I can see this phone flopping like its predecessor.

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Boffins zapped '2,000 bugs' from Curiosity's 2 MILLION lines of code

Code Monkey
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Re: But....

Hey I use <insert your language of choice here> as well!

If I produced bugs at a rate of 1 per 1000 lines of code that'd be a vast improvement.

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Code Monkey
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Re: WTF?

The confusion between inches and centimetres is oft-mentioned but I still reckon it's "citation needed". As you say - they don't know.

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Councils launch eight spying ops on Brits A DAY using RIPA

Code Monkey
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That's ok because the Tories promised us an end to New Labour's Big Brother ways. So we can trust them to put a stop to all this, right?

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UK.gov's minimum booze price dream demolished

Code Monkey
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The supermarkets were in favour of this. That should've set the alarm bells ringing.

Nothing the supermarkets are in favour of is good for people. Nothing.

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Amazon tries to freeze out tape with cheap 'n' cloudy Glacier

Code Monkey
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Re: I tried S3...

I guess they've managed expectations well with the name Glacier. Think how angry you'd have been had it been called "TurboNutterFastBackup"

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PayPal co-founder sells out of foundering Facebook at VAST profit

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: Puzzled

There must be some fools left who weren't parted from their money at the IPO.

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Phone-flingers flock to Finland for World Championships

Code Monkey
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Re: what phone?

If you were to choose 3310 there'd be a good chance it'd still work after you'd flung it.

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Apple lawyer: 'I promise I am not smoking crack'

Code Monkey
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@LarsG

Agreed. She's clearly a fan of common sense.

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Beck's open-source challenge to freetards: play it yourself!

Code Monkey
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Windows

Meh

He's shite anyway.

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Bitcoinica sued for $460,000 by 'out-of-pocket' punters

Code Monkey
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Trollface

Re: Printing money

These gullible twonks would probably accept these magic beans I've found in my desk.

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Nokia CEO: No shift from Windows Phone

Code Monkey
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Facepalm

Oh Nokia

You're in a hole ... stop digging!

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Few 'Likes' for Facebook from hedge-fund moneybags

Code Monkey
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This suggests that $100bn for the next MySpace was an overvaluation. Gosh!

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Wannabe media barons outed in UK local telly bid list

Code Monkey
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Re: Low Quality

"But my biggest fear is TV studios over-run with Media Studies students on internships."

Aren't they all already busy running BBC Three?

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Code Monkey
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"Baby Bro"

That's it. I'm smashing the telly with a hammer as soon as I get in tonight.

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Code Monkey
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FAIL

How much more low quality TV do we actually need?

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Hold onto your hats, world: Groupon actually made a PROFIT

Code Monkey
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Windows

"Groupon blamed Europe's weak economy and currency fluctuations for its less-than-impressive results"

So not that their business model is offering people money off stuff they didn't want in the first place, then. Well they would say that.

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El Reg probes pregnant Playmobil lass

Code Monkey
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That rash doesn't look so good.

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Upstart DEY touts Facebook-style storage for all and sundry

Code Monkey
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Are DEY Scouse?

DEY do doh don't DEY doh.

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Chinese man's six-ton balls save lives

Code Monkey
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"Safety seat"

A spring-mounted seat sounds anything but safe. Tremendous fun, yes - safe, good grief no!

Seats aside this is tremendous lunatic boffinry. Well done Mr Chinese Loon, sir!

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Microsoft: It's not Metro, it's Windows 8

Code Monkey
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Excellent idea!

In honour of Ballmer, they could call it "The Thick".

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London Fire Brigade: This time we'll send the NEAREST fire truck

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

* fire engine

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Internet Archive serves up 1.4 million BitTorrent downloads

Code Monkey
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"Controversial protocol"

I momentarily took exception to this - before realising it's true.

Our laws are made - end enforced - by morons. How did this happen.

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Beer mats to tout tat to mobiles over wireless NFC

Code Monkey
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Re: The only innovative use of NFC I've heard of so far.

Nice idea but it's hardly remote.

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Code Monkey
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Exactly the sort of thing I go to the pub to avoid.

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For flock's sake: Scared sheep send SMSes to Swiss shepherds

Code Monkey
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It'll be texts from dog next. http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

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Samsung lengthens Note phone-cum-tablet to 10 inches

Code Monkey
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Please Samsung, get Dom Joly to advertise this in the UK.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j6DpdJCf5dg/TZhXoZ6kYKI/AAAAAAAAD7w/-k8Wt74Hv8M/s1600/dom_joly_phone.jpg

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Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Code Monkey
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Sounds nice but it's no bacon butty - too much frippery.

Bacon, butter, bread, sauce. Resolve to never drink again.

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Code Monkey
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Re: That isn't proper bacon

I'd stick with good bacon every time. Danish bacon's just nasty - full of water.

For me it's good British bacon if flush, porridge if not.

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Airline leaves customer on hold for 15 hours

Code Monkey
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Re: KLM much worse since Air France tie-in, I wonder why?

Meanwhile Air France have adopted the Dutch approach to food. Truly a marriage made in hell.

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Facebook: 83 million IMPOSTERS stalk our network

Code Monkey
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Windows

I know we Reg readers are a cyncial bunch but did anyone think their valuation was justified? Anyone at all?

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Boy cuffed after Twitter troll's drown threat to Olympic diver Tom Daley

Code Monkey
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Re: Good

I share your doubts that less famous folks would get so quick a response from plod but that doesn't mean they're wrong to arrest this clown. He's made a death threat and that's against the law.

Hopefully this will scare the shite out of the wee scrote, Tom Daley will decline to press charges and that'll be an end to the matter but arrest is the correct response - IMO of course.

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Jackson’s Hobbit becomes a trilogy

Code Monkey
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Trollface

A cinematic first

Wow. No director's ever milked a Hobbit (on anything like this scale) before.

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Twitter airport bomb joke conviction binned in common-sense WIN

Code Monkey
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Facepalm

Finally!

What a fantastic moment for British justice and common sense. Good job we haven't looked like fools or anything.

Well done, all!

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Never mind Azure: They BROKE Twitter!

Code Monkey
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Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

So how is working for Google, xperroni?

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HP Envy 4-1010ea 14in Ultrabook review

Code Monkey
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Re: How on earth

Yes. To be classed as an Ultrabook only requires an Intel Core processor.

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Three punters' data use doubles

Code Monkey
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Re: If only Orange would notice....

Hopefully not uploading a video log to YouTube

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Home Secretary to decide on McKinnon extradition by October

Code Monkey
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Re: Sledgehammer meets nut

The sad thing is the case categorically doesn't warrant a custodial sentence but McKinnon will receive a one if extradited.

It's time this cruel farce ended.

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Brooks, Coulson to be CHARGED over phone-hacking

Code Monkey
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Re: Stop Press - Reg headline to CONTAIN random capitalized WORDS for no GOOD reason

I! Rather! Like! The! Yahoo! Ones!

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CentOS penguins maul Oracle's Linux migration pitch

Code Monkey
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"If it 'ain't broke, why break it?"

Exactly. CentOS is the absolute dogs danglies and all for the excellent price of free!

We run CentOS for dev, staging and production servers and it's rock solid. I'm unashamedly a CentOS fanboi.

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Apple boots privacy name-and-shame app Clueful from store

Code Monkey
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"for reasons that are unclear"

"Because we said so" - Apple

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Where there's brass, silver and gold ... there's also muck

Code Monkey
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Re: cubic litres?

* 415846 DD-cup Bulgarian funbags or 0.2845 Olympic-sized swimming pools

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Raspberry Pi rolls out speed surge Raspbian OS

Code Monkey
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@Bill Smith 1 Re: Daft question

Perhaps you're not the target market for the Pi. The extra stuff you describe is the sort of gubbins a lot of IT pros and tinkerers have lying around.

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Code Monkey
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Linux

Re: Daft question

You buy (or already own) the SD card. The OS is free.

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Sony preps PS3 with old-school design

Code Monkey
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Not so good for my living room

Given that my PS3 lives under the telly, a toploader would be a bugger. Or it would if I used the PS3 for anything other than iPlayer.

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