* Posts by Code Monkey

1572 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

New monkey species with massive blue arse found in Africa

Code Monkey
Pint

Re: keyboard please ...

Especially as other, lesser news sources have been less forthcoming on the subject of the massive blue arse.

[raises a tiny picture of a pint]

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Code Monkey

Re: IT Angle: MonkeyVision

If it's touchscren I'd want a stylus.

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Boffin named Jubb to fire whopping hybrid thruster

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: Stealing von Braun

... and where's his pipe?

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'£100m For Sale' sign plonked outside Northgate MS - sources

Code Monkey
Windows

Northwind

Was it just me that read that as "Northwind"?

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UK.gov blacklists Fujitsu from future contracts - report

Code Monkey
Trollface

My comment is that between the lines of not commenting, Fuj are a little grumpy today.

Need a hug, Fuj?

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Google skids car insurance comparison engine onto rivals' lawn

Code Monkey
WTF?

"... while completely respecting their privacy" - no comment on whether his face was straight while delivering this particular gem?

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Broadband minister's fibre cabinet gripe snub sparks revolt

Code Monkey

Re: Yawn. First World Problems...

You mean my local refuge for transgender midgets is just a scam? Just another mobile phone mast?

I don't know who to trust any more.

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Twitter to world: We have NO rivals, ha ha ha!

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Twitter claimed today that it has no rivals on the world stage

If it were different enough that other site might be viable everywhere except the UK. But there's no way your average (vaguely lefty) UK Twit would be seen dead doing anything on there other than trolling.

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Code Monkey

Re: If nobody is copying you

Twitter's influential (it's essential for lots of politicians and media types) but this has never translated into income.

The latest stab at income seems to be closing its APIs - which I really don't understand. Ah well we'll see.

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Global strategic maple syrup reserves hit in Canadian mega-heist

Code Monkey
Pint

Re: Burn the heretics!!

Mr Coward, my only regret is having just the one upvote (and this tiny picture of a pint) to give.

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Ten 15in notebooks for under 400 quid

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

+1 for the G570

I bought a slightly beefier G570 for slightly over £400 last month. While noticably flimsier than the Thinkpad it replaced, it's a great laptop. I've yet to give it a thorough workout but it'll be running an IDE for a course in a month or so and I've every confidence in it.

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Build your own robot soccer world cup winner

Code Monkey
Headmaster

* football

Other than that - good article.

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Why Java would still stink even if it weren't security swiss cheese

Code Monkey

This article is pish

Some developers are shit, so slag off the platform. Maybe Pyhthon or Rails devs are all perfect. Maybe you're not suited to being a sysadmin. Maybe you'd be happier customising Wordpress themes for a living.

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Amazon steps over Groupon's festering corpse to set up UK deals souk

Code Monkey
Windows

More bargain fish pedicures! Wahoo!

This is why I drink.

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Young alcoholic star 'covered in fluids needed for birth of alien life'

Code Monkey

Re: Just 400 light years away

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is.

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Facebook's new app bazaar 'violates' punters' privacy – lobbyists

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: Actually, Google has it coming too..

It's this sort of thing that will kill the internet. And then we'll all have to get proper jobs.

Where's the "down with this sort of thing" icon?

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Arctic ice shrinks to ‘smallest in satellite era’ - NASA

Code Monkey
FAIL

Re: The Arctic? Look a bit further south...

That'll be Harbin that's hundreds of miles from the sea, then?

I agree that were the Gulfstream to switch off it would have a huge impact on our climate but it wouldn't stop the UK being an island.

Continental climate != island climate.

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Ten netbooks

Code Monkey

Good stuff

As the article says, tablets have stolen the netbook's thunder. That said they're still a viable PC. A friend still uses his first generation Acer Aspire One.

If my needs hadn't changed (I now need a full fat Windows laptop) I'd still be using mine. I still love the dinky wee thing with its lack of a Windows key (I guess modern netbooks do have these, more's the pity).

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Only 3% of UK's TV oglers want more sex

Code Monkey

There's a Bill Hicks (mis)quote for every occasion

Boy is my thumb not on the pulse of [the UK]!

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Investor pulls out of Facebook, pumps cash into pork-printing joint

Code Monkey

Re: Vegetarian bacon!

Bacon fries are better but come in a disappointingly tiny bag. Given the choice I'll always go for Frazzles.

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Code Monkey
Coat

Re: Well seeing as how printer ink costs more than champagne...

Surely that would be a jam jam in the output tray.

Mine's the one with the dozen printed scotch eggs in the pocket.

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Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: Vegetarian bacon!

Frazzles are made of corn. Always have been.

</greasy-snack-pedant>

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Sony pushes patent for interactive TV ads

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Tellies with an OS - i.e. tellies you can root - will be commonplace one day. Then we'll have telly without meerkats and bloody opera singers telling you where to buy your car insurance.

Heck I want that more than I want a flying car!

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REVEALED: Everything Everywhere new 4G logo ... a SNAIL?

Code Monkey
FAIL

Also the snail's on its back - ready to be noshed by the first passing thrush or Frenchman.

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Samsung Galaxy Beam Android projector phone review

Code Monkey

A solution in search of a problem

While a lot of folks are happy to use their phones' MP3 player and camera instead of a dedicated device a projector is niche, niche, niche. I can see this phone flopping like its predecessor.

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Boffins zapped '2,000 bugs' from Curiosity's 2 MILLION lines of code

Code Monkey

Re: But....

Hey I use <insert your language of choice here> as well!

If I produced bugs at a rate of 1 per 1000 lines of code that'd be a vast improvement.

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Code Monkey

Re: WTF?

The confusion between inches and centimetres is oft-mentioned but I still reckon it's "citation needed". As you say - they don't know.

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Councils launch eight spying ops on Brits A DAY using RIPA

Code Monkey

That's ok because the Tories promised us an end to New Labour's Big Brother ways. So we can trust them to put a stop to all this, right?

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UK.gov's minimum booze price dream demolished

Code Monkey

The supermarkets were in favour of this. That should've set the alarm bells ringing.

Nothing the supermarkets are in favour of is good for people. Nothing.

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Amazon tries to freeze out tape with cheap 'n' cloudy Glacier

Code Monkey
Coat

Re: I tried S3...

I guess they've managed expectations well with the name Glacier. Think how angry you'd have been had it been called "TurboNutterFastBackup"

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PayPal co-founder sells out of foundering Facebook at VAST profit

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Puzzled

There must be some fools left who weren't parted from their money at the IPO.

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Phone-flingers flock to Finland for World Championships

Code Monkey

Re: what phone?

If you were to choose 3310 there'd be a good chance it'd still work after you'd flung it.

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Apple lawyer: 'I promise I am not smoking crack'

Code Monkey

@LarsG

Agreed. She's clearly a fan of common sense.

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Beck's open-source challenge to freetards: play it yourself!

Code Monkey
Windows

Meh

He's shite anyway.

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Bitcoinica sued for $460,000 by 'out-of-pocket' punters

Code Monkey
Trollface

Re: Printing money

These gullible twonks would probably accept these magic beans I've found in my desk.

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Nokia CEO: No shift from Windows Phone

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Oh Nokia

You're in a hole ... stop digging!

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Few 'Likes' for Facebook from hedge-fund moneybags

Code Monkey

This suggests that $100bn for the next MySpace was an overvaluation. Gosh!

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Wannabe media barons outed in UK local telly bid list

Code Monkey

Re: Low Quality

"But my biggest fear is TV studios over-run with Media Studies students on internships."

Aren't they all already busy running BBC Three?

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Code Monkey
Windows

"Baby Bro"

That's it. I'm smashing the telly with a hammer as soon as I get in tonight.

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Code Monkey
FAIL

How much more low quality TV do we actually need?

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Hold onto your hats, world: Groupon actually made a PROFIT

Code Monkey
Windows

"Groupon blamed Europe's weak economy and currency fluctuations for its less-than-impressive results"

So not that their business model is offering people money off stuff they didn't want in the first place, then. Well they would say that.

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El Reg probes pregnant Playmobil lass

Code Monkey

That rash doesn't look so good.

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Upstart DEY touts Facebook-style storage for all and sundry

Code Monkey
Coat

Are DEY Scouse?

DEY do doh don't DEY doh.

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Chinese man's six-ton balls save lives

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

"Safety seat"

A spring-mounted seat sounds anything but safe. Tremendous fun, yes - safe, good grief no!

Seats aside this is tremendous lunatic boffinry. Well done Mr Chinese Loon, sir!

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Microsoft: It's not Metro, it's Windows 8

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Excellent idea!

In honour of Ballmer, they could call it "The Thick".

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London Fire Brigade: This time we'll send the NEAREST fire truck

Code Monkey
Headmaster

* fire engine

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Internet Archive serves up 1.4 million BitTorrent downloads

Code Monkey

"Controversial protocol"

I momentarily took exception to this - before realising it's true.

Our laws are made - end enforced - by morons. How did this happen.

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Beer mats to tout tat to mobiles over wireless NFC

Code Monkey

Re: The only innovative use of NFC I've heard of so far.

Nice idea but it's hardly remote.

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Code Monkey
Thumb Down

Exactly the sort of thing I go to the pub to avoid.

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For flock's sake: Scared sheep send SMSes to Swiss shepherds

Code Monkey

It'll be texts from dog next. http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

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