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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

Code Monkey
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A cynic might think that this "simplifying" of labels is an open door for Debenhams to change their coffee to instant.

I couldn't possibly comment.

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Captain Kirk does a Crapp on the iPhone: 'Shatoetry' for 'Shatisms'

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop

That earworm infection was fast! Superluminal even.

Skibbydibbydibbybombombom! Bombombom!

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Fans' loyalty questioned as iPhone popularity plummets

Code Monkey
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Mushroom

Re: Loyalty

*mobile - damnable sausage fingers!

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Code Monkey
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Loyalty

The idea of loyalty to a nobile phone (of any brand) is laughable to me.

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Premature balloon burst thwarts US paper spaceplane attempt

Code Monkey
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Re: clearly the reg SPB is a secret government funded black helicopter outfit

@wowfood:

"It does sound suspiciously like sabotage on the part of el reg."

3rd rate American boffinry more like. I bet they didn't have a single pipe between the entire team.

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Pints all round as Register Special Projects hacks hack off feet

Code Monkey
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Pint

Re: Pints!

Those will be proper 568ml pints.

Fluid ounces are one of those measurements I never have and never will understand (and I'm no whippersnapper).

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Code Monkey
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But but but

[insert usual protest at the lack of jubs, elephants per second and Waleses]

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Axe falls on Directgov as GOV.UK launches

Code Monkey
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Re: Not all directgov.uk

... for which I'm very grateful. My road tax is due and this was the one service I'd always point to as a govt website that actually worked.

Let us hope it continues to be not stuffed up for the foreseeable.

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Jimmy Wales: It was Wikipedia that ended the evil of SOPA

Code Monkey
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Jimface taking credit for everyone else's work? Crikey whatever next?

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And the latest winner of the Nobel Peace Prize is ... the EU?

Code Monkey
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While 60-odd years without war in Western Europe I can't help thinking it's been a "slow peace year".

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Metric versus imperial: Reg readers weigh in

Code Monkey
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Devil

Re: I hate to have to say this old chap...

Well that's what Mondo's been calling 6 inches and he's sticking to it

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Code Monkey
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FAIL

Henceforth, the SPB should use...

Linguine, elephants per second, etc.

For shame Reg. For shame!

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UK.gov tries to close site giving home addresses of badger cull figures

Code Monkey
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Angel

Re: Well if it's a .co.uk

Read the article. It's mirrored on a .com.

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Facebook says it's LOSING money in the UK ... pays hardly any tax

Code Monkey
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Re: die!

Patience young envmod. As the next MySpace it's only a matter of time.

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Teachers get earful of racy XXX chat in Capita IT cock-up

Code Monkey
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Trollface

"intermittent problem"

Helldesk being bawdy little monkeys?

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Ballmer aims chair at Apple after Windows package miss

Code Monkey
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Windows

I love Ballmer. This industry will be so much less funny when he's gone.

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New Zealand issues Hobbit money

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: Calligraphically Challenged

3 films is a lot of Thorin sitting down, singing about gold.

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HMRC: Moving our data to the cloud will make it MORE secure

Code Monkey
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Hopefully it'll cut down on laptops left in pubs, USB sticks dropped in taxis &c.

It's got "cock-up" written all over it, mind.

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Brighton marathon munchers banned from all-you-can-eat diner

Code Monkey
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"All you can eat"

Did the owner used to be in marketing for a broadband company?

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Formlabs preps first home stereolithic 3D printer

Code Monkey
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Re: A Challenge for EL Reg!

LIke this?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/07/28/sintered_aircraft/

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Tablet and laptop sales neck and neck

Code Monkey
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Windows

Era of the notebook over? Maybe for a lot of people. There'll always be someone who needs keyboards, meaty processors, etc.

Software doesn't write itself (yet).

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Guardian's Robin Hood plan: Steal from everyone to give to us

Code Monkey
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FAIL

Just like the (then) newfangled newspapers all chipped in to keep the ailing town crier sector afloat.

I would rather give up broadband than pay to keep the Heil going. I imagine Heil readers feel similarly about propping up the Graun.

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Brave copper single-handedly chases 'suspicious' Moon

Code Monkey
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FAIL

Sheesh

And to think that some people say coppers are thick.

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Eric Schmidt: Ha ha, NO Google maps app for iPhone 5

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: "obsessed with Apple's marketing events and Apple's branding".

Oh come on. This is a genuine story - and quite a funny one at that

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Christian footie match ends in almighty brawl

Code Monkey
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Re: An influx?

"Thou shalt not covet thy mate's non-Christian mate for thine football club, no matter how good a leftback he is."

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Code Monkey
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Influx of non-Christians

Yeah right. It was the non-Christians that made the Crusades such a bloodbath as well.

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Made for each other: liquid nitrogen and 1,500 ping-pong balls

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

* litre

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UK govt to KILL OFF Directgov within weeks

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: I am still astounded

Popular site, lots of traffic, lots of transactions.

That an the inability of any government project to buy anything at anything like the proper price.

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Ding dong, the Ping is dead! Apple brings in Facebook for iTunes

Code Monkey
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Trollface

... also "what was the content of that toilet?"

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Boffin named Jubb to fire whopping hybrid thruster

Code Monkey
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Pint

Re: hammond...

You are a cruel person, Naughtyhorse. Full marks!

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Code Monkey
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Headmaster

Re: Stealing von Braun

... and where's his pipe?

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New monkey species with massive blue arse found in Africa

Code Monkey
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Pint

Re: keyboard please ...

Especially as other, lesser news sources have been less forthcoming on the subject of the massive blue arse.

[raises a tiny picture of a pint]

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Code Monkey
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Re: IT Angle: MonkeyVision

If it's touchscren I'd want a stylus.

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'£100m For Sale' sign plonked outside Northgate MS - sources

Code Monkey
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Windows

Northwind

Was it just me that read that as "Northwind"?

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UK.gov blacklists Fujitsu from future contracts - report

Code Monkey
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Trollface

My comment is that between the lines of not commenting, Fuj are a little grumpy today.

Need a hug, Fuj?

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Google skids car insurance comparison engine onto rivals' lawn

Code Monkey
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WTF?

"... while completely respecting their privacy" - no comment on whether his face was straight while delivering this particular gem?

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Broadband minister's fibre cabinet gripe snub sparks revolt

Code Monkey
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Re: Yawn. First World Problems...

You mean my local refuge for transgender midgets is just a scam? Just another mobile phone mast?

I don't know who to trust any more.

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Twitter to world: We have NO rivals, ha ha ha!

Code Monkey
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Windows

Re: Twitter claimed today that it has no rivals on the world stage

If it were different enough that other site might be viable everywhere except the UK. But there's no way your average (vaguely lefty) UK Twit would be seen dead doing anything on there other than trolling.

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Code Monkey
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Re: If nobody is copying you

Twitter's influential (it's essential for lots of politicians and media types) but this has never translated into income.

The latest stab at income seems to be closing its APIs - which I really don't understand. Ah well we'll see.

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Global strategic maple syrup reserves hit in Canadian mega-heist

Code Monkey
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Pint

Re: Burn the heretics!!

Mr Coward, my only regret is having just the one upvote (and this tiny picture of a pint) to give.

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Ten 15in notebooks for under 400 quid

Code Monkey
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+1 for the G570

I bought a slightly beefier G570 for slightly over £400 last month. While noticably flimsier than the Thinkpad it replaced, it's a great laptop. I've yet to give it a thorough workout but it'll be running an IDE for a course in a month or so and I've every confidence in it.

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Build your own robot soccer world cup winner

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

* football

Other than that - good article.

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Why Java would still stink even if it weren't security swiss cheese

Code Monkey
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This article is pish

Some developers are shit, so slag off the platform. Maybe Pyhthon or Rails devs are all perfect. Maybe you're not suited to being a sysadmin. Maybe you'd be happier customising Wordpress themes for a living.

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Amazon steps over Groupon's festering corpse to set up UK deals souk

Code Monkey
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Windows

More bargain fish pedicures! Wahoo!

This is why I drink.

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Young alcoholic star 'covered in fluids needed for birth of alien life'

Code Monkey
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Re: Just 400 light years away

Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is.

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Facebook's new app bazaar 'violates' punters' privacy – lobbyists

Code Monkey
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Unhappy

Re: Actually, Google has it coming too..

It's this sort of thing that will kill the internet. And then we'll all have to get proper jobs.

Where's the "down with this sort of thing" icon?

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Arctic ice shrinks to ‘smallest in satellite era’ - NASA

Code Monkey
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FAIL

Re: The Arctic? Look a bit further south...

That'll be Harbin that's hundreds of miles from the sea, then?

I agree that were the Gulfstream to switch off it would have a huge impact on our climate but it wouldn't stop the UK being an island.

Continental climate != island climate.

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Ten netbooks

Code Monkey
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Good stuff

As the article says, tablets have stolen the netbook's thunder. That said they're still a viable PC. A friend still uses his first generation Acer Aspire One.

If my needs hadn't changed (I now need a full fat Windows laptop) I'd still be using mine. I still love the dinky wee thing with its lack of a Windows key (I guess modern netbooks do have these, more's the pity).

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Only 3% of UK's TV oglers want more sex

Code Monkey
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There's a Bill Hicks (mis)quote for every occasion

Boy is my thumb not on the pulse of [the UK]!

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