* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Code Monkey

Re: Is it good or bad?

I've never had crabs but I've heard tales. The conclusion I reached was that not having lice is better than having them.

4
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Obama calls for study into games ‘n’ guns link

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: Guns don't kill people

... and playing Monopoly as a child made me a millionaire.

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NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: An NRA spokespersons said...

"Guns don’t kill people. Video games ... kill people."

I wish this were true. I tried wiping out my school witha cassette copy of Manic Miner. I got tired before killing even the weediest first year weakling and was easily overpowered by (unarmed) teachers.

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Ten stars of CES 2013: Who made the biggest splash?

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

The smartphone with a decent battery life on a is the star of the show for me. That it's waterproof is impressive but secondary.

3
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Review: HTC 8X Windows Phone 8 handset

Code Monkey
Windows

Android sales poor? Why not Windows?

Baffling!

0
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Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

Code Monkey
Pint

Well done

Just to prove they're not all joyless moneygrabbing sociopathic lizards.

[raises a (tiny picture of a) pint]

29
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Scientists snap first film of giant squid in action

Code Monkey

Re: Researchers, what would you do without them?

the rare desert penguin

Humboldt penguins are quite common in the Atacama desert

http://www.bbc.co.uk/learningzone/clips/humboldt-penguins-in-the-atacama-desert/8992.html

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Code Monkey
Devil

Re: Hmm...

Cheap pet for a supervillain or the ULTIMATE AQUATIC PLATFORM FOR A FRICKIN LASER?

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Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: "So they hooked it and dragged it to the surface where it died. "

From the article: "The squid was then hooked and taken to the surface for measurement."

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Which qualifications are worthwhile?

Code Monkey

Re: Which qualifications are worthwhile?

Despite a long, long time spent working in the industry, I'm studying an IT degree with the OU at the moment and can recommend it.

One thing to bear in mind is cost. I'm lucky that I started just before the univeristy fees went up, so can finish my degree at the old rates. In common with traditional universities, the OU has more-or-less tripled its fees - meaning a full degree will now cost you £15k. Help is available, as are student loans so it's worth speaking to them.

The degree will take several years - though the fact that you're currently studying towards one could be a big boost to your jobhunting.

Good luck!

0
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Sir James Dyson slams gov's 'obsession' with Silicon Roundabout

Code Monkey

Re: Hypocrite

True up to a point. That Dysons are made abroad does not stop Silicon Roundabout being bullshit.

22
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Sculpted 66-pound jubs survive lightning blast, 26ft drop

Code Monkey

Re: Is it wrong...

There are pictures if you follow the link to the (magnificent) NT News site.

1
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The 30-year-old prank that became the first computer virus

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: Geeks have macs too

PCs had only just launched. Linux was years away.

These may have beeen factors in the virus author's choosing a Mac.

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Spanish airport cops seize cocaine-packed Bulgarian airbags

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: Open wounds!?

Another reason not to do cocaine. This stuff's not exactly fair trade.

9
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Sniff.. Phew! WORLD'S OLDEST CHEESE discovered in Poland

Code Monkey

Re: "The evidence was stunning,"

I agree with the boffins. Cheese news is the best news.

4
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Google maps app is BACK on iPhones, fanbois spared death

Code Monkey

Re: I almost died in Australia

"I almost die in Australia every day. From boredom, usually."

Does your iPhone keep sending you to funky new towns that don't exist?

0
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LOL: Twitter faces fines for late UK financial filings

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Hmm

Twitted is the correct verb if you ask me. And, yes, I am a Twitter user.

1
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Parliament to unleash barrage of criticism on Snoopers' Charter

Code Monkey
Big Brother

Re: Scary

Not just that it keeps coming back but the Tories actually attacked the near-identical scheme that New Labour wanted to introduce. I don't trust these bastards one bit, nor the previous bastards, nor the next bastards.

28
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This is out of hand now: Apple attempts to trademark the LEAF

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Next step: sue God?

If they were to find somewhere to serve the lawsuit I'd be impressed.

2
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2020AD: Space tourists will be FOUND ON MOON

Code Monkey
Coat

Russ Abbott rumoured to be "not in the least bit interested".

Mine's the one with the 7" Atmosphere single in the pocket.

1
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Fred Flintstone may not have been real but his pet Dino WAS - boffins

Code Monkey

Re: Bad dinoboffins!

Good point. That also explains the lack of cars-with-no-floors-in-so-Fred-or-Barney-can-scoot-them-along-with-their-feet in the picture.

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Code Monkey

Re: Bad dinoboffins!

The artist that did the impression is making a huge claim for non-purpleness.

1
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Code Monkey

Bad dinoboffins!

It's not purple, has no collar. It's nothing like Dino.

1
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Google puts Nexus 4 back on sale, sells out pronto

Code Monkey
Gimp

Re: Rather cynical

I can't speak for the OP but I'd rather pay my money with confindence of receiving the phone shortly afterwards. Until then the money can stay in my account.

0
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The Times offers subsidised Nexus 7s to get subscribers

Code Monkey

If there were a way to do this so Murdoch lost money, I'd do it.

13
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Piracy haven Newzbin2 gives up, can't pay the bills

Code Monkey
Angel

Re: So are they going to Open Source the code?

It's a Usenet scraper. If you've 15 mins spare you could knock one up yourself.

1
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Motörheadphönes Motörizer rock 'phones review

Code Monkey

Ï'm tëmptëd. Öthër hëädphönes ärë sömëwhät läckïng ïn thë umlaut dëpärtmënt.

25
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Japan Airlines to serve KFC on Christmas flights

Code Monkey
Unhappy

I've seen a Karrachi Fried Chicken and a Krazy Fried Chicken

0
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Code Monkey

Re: This KFC thing in Japan is real.

Agreed. KFC is bad, airline food is bad.

Doubleplusungood.

0
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Hurricane Sandy blows US pirate-pestering plan into 2013

Code Monkey
Pirate

Yarr!

Who else thought it was a different sort of anti-piracy that Hurricane Sandy had wrecked?

1
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Global warming still stalled since 1998, WMO Doha figures show

Code Monkey

Also paving front/back gardens. Britain's not as absorbent as it once was.

14
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America planned to NUKE THE MOON

Code Monkey
Angel

Re: I find it deeply disturbing

How about we agree to not blow anything up m'kay?

7
2

Think Xmas bashes in your biz are scary? Try partying with the Channel

Code Monkey
Windows

There's one rule: don't be the one that gets talked about the next day. Not getting completely shitted is the usual way of achieving this.

0
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Boffin claims Bigfoot DNA reveals BESTIAL BONKING

Code Monkey
Coffee/keyboard

Stop it!

I'm running out of upvotes. And coffee.

2
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Ten technology FAILS

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: VCD's

So ... the VCD's a complete turkey except in Turkey?

23
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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Code Monkey

Re: Perhaps it was lost in translation

La petite motorboat?

4
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Gangnam Style beats Bieber Baby, becomes biggest timewaste EVER

Code Monkey

I'm happy to say I've never seen it.

2
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Driverless trucks roam Australian mines

Code Monkey

Re: And I, for one.....

It's bloody terrifying it is.

Thankfully less bloody terrifying than trucks driven by Australians. At least the robots will be sober.

3
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WANTED: Actual HELPFUL info on price-comparison websites

Code Monkey
Mushroom

YOU MEAN THE MEERKAT'S LYING TO US? THE BASTARD!

3
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Reg boffins blow lid on sheepsecs

Code Monkey

I'm no physicist, but ...

How is wooldrag a factor in a vacuum? Surely as frictionless an environment as there can be

0
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NASA admits hiding 'really good' news from Martian soil

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: "THESE data ARE"

Yeah. Data ARE. Also use "THEE" and "THOU" more often.

0
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'There may come a day when Hobbits promote slot machines ...'

Code Monkey

The Tolkien family sit down and start singing about gold.

16
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Pocket Wi-Fi hotspots paralyse Chinese metro lines

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: @fear^H^H^H^Hreadnothing

"as it aggravates commuters" is an issue in China? They must have better rail services than the UK, then.

Oh wait. Everyone in the world has better rail services than the UK.

0
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Microsoft's OWN tests on Kin 'social phone' foretold its doom

Code Monkey
Joke

So it was 'kin rubbish, then?

2
1

Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

Code Monkey
Boffin

So which is the prototype football pitch? FA rules allow pitches between between 100 yards (90m/~10 double-decker buses) and 130 yards (120m/~13 double-decker buses) long and between 50 yards (45m/~5 double-decker buses) and 100 yards (90m/~10 double-decker buses) wide.

And which is the protoype double-decker bus? (I'm guessing the Routemaster but open to suggestions from, say, Altlantean fans).

2
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We CAN'T GET ENOUGH Windows 8 tablets, moan distributors

Code Monkey
Trollface

Re: Marketing games

Haven't Apple patented this?

1
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Power to the people - if you can find a spare socket

Code Monkey

So in summary: sockets on trains good, lack of sockets in offices bad.

Cool story, bro.

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LOHAN to join mile-high club with BRITNEY or NAOMI?

Code Monkey

On a related note I once wrote a system called NIPS. The N is a massive clue to the client so I can't expand on this.

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Sinofsky denies failed putsch led to his defenestration

Code Monkey

Re: I wonder how much

Or Sinofsky's just following the rule of "slagging off your former employer can upset those you want to be the next employer".

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Nazi Enigma encoding machine sells in London for over £80k

Code Monkey

Re: Crysis

I'll continue in the same vein by pointing out its corners are not rounded.

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