Feeds

* Posts by Code Monkey

1559 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Jimmy Wales: 'I'm Wikipedia's monarch'

Code Monkey
Windows

Oh Jimface, you are a tool.

1
1

North Korean citizens told: Socialist haircuts are a thing... go get some

Code Monkey

Socialist haircuts seem to be heavily biased towards the bouffant spectrum, for socialist dudes at least.

0
0

Meet Antarctic sysadmin Richard Youd

Code Monkey

I remember seeing a job ad for a sysadmin with the British Anarctic Survey in the late 90s. I bitterly regretted lacking the UNIX skills.

0
0

BBC Vision and Audio tossed on bonfire, replaced by 'TV', 'Radio'

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Good move

I'm all for that. Call the telly the telly and all that.

1
0

Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for BUSES

Code Monkey
Windows

Formula E

Please, please, please have a round in Yorkshire. Formula E By Gum.

2
1

Big Data: Why it's not always that big nor even that clever

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

“Data scientist”

+1 for sarky quotes. Later I'll buy a hot drink from a "coffee scientist".

4
1

$195 BEEELLION asteroid approaching Earth

Code Monkey

Asteroid mining promises to be such a wonderful bubble

I wonder if I can insist that there's no asteroid miining in my pension.

0
0

Intel's new TV box to point creepy spy camera at YOUR FACE

Code Monkey

Re: Camera watching me, watching them...

It's a problem I'd rather not have but if it comes to it I'll gaffer tape over the shutter. Creepy bastards can fuck off.

8
0

#Forwhy: American Express lets you pay by tweet

Code Monkey
WTF?

So I Twit to buy something then go down the shop and swipe my credit card? How is this better than ... just going down the shops with my credit card?

Forgive me if this is a stupid question. I'm not much of a shopper.

0
0

11-YEAR-OLD code wizard hacks Greedy RuneScape geeks

Code Monkey
Windows

"11-YEAR-OLD code wizard"

Aka "exaggerate the skills of the idiot who was able to get around our idiot security".

15
3

British games company says it owns the idea of space marines

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: I thought 2012

You're right. 2012 was the the year of the lawyer. As was 2011, 2011, etc. and so on.

0
0

Now UK must look out for crappy SPACE weather - engineers

Code Monkey
Alien

What is that thing in the top left? THAT'S NO MOON!

1
0

Don't Menshn the snore: Chick-lit queen's jabber site killed in its sleep

Code Monkey

Nice to gloat at a Tory failure that isn't fucking over the poor and vulnerable.

26
12

Seagate squeezes out 4TB desktop monster

Code Monkey
Boffin

Re: Can I format it in FAT16?

Based on the options in "Map network drive" you'd get to Z: and that'd be it.

26 partitions should be enough for anyone, etc. and so on.

2
0
Code Monkey

Re: But%20at%20what%20price%3F

That is cobblers. These HDD companies do R&D and that ain't cheap.

Storage is getting exponentially cheaper. and has been for decades. If you want to save money, buy the not-quite-the-latest model.

1
2

Shocked Zynga investors get a penny per share

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Zynga's stable of timewasters and their "post some shite as status" features were a huge factor in driving me off New Facebook. Even more than the morons, pictures of offspring, copy/pasted mumbo-jumbo, &c.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm grateful to them.

7
0

Profitless internet biz Pinterest seeks $2.5 BILLION valuation

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Cupcakes?

* buns

0
0

Facebook burnout: 61% of users have needed a break

Code Monkey

"You'll be back! Mark my words ... you'll be back!"

Not a chance, New MySpace. Not a chance.

0
0

Tracy brothers are back: Thunderbirds Are Go! again in 5... 4... 3...

Code Monkey
Black Helicopters

Timing

Is it coincidence that this announcement was made a few weeks after Gerry Anderson's death?

4
0
Code Monkey
Happy

Re: with any luck...

Instant (and welcome) earworm for me!

1
0

'Gaia' Lovelock: Wind turbines 'may become like Easter Island statues'

Code Monkey

Re: If your names not down your not coming in..

I'd much rather we had green energy from nuclear powerplants

33
1

Reg Hardware Awards 2012: The Winners...

Code Monkey
Mushroom

I'm cancelling my subscription!

The Antique Code Show award going to Lemmings is typical of the anti-Carmageddon BIAS that has ruined this once-fine website. Your writers are nothing but paid SHILLS gobbling away at the Amiga/Psygnosis danglies for all the filthy lucre you can get. And the readers are just SHEEP. SHEEP damnit!

Where's the Reg tombstone icon when I need it?

23
0

You thought watching cat videos was harmless fun? Think AGAIN

Code Monkey

Re: Purrfect

Just leave a box next to the pyramid. The cats will use that.

7
0

Is your Surface Pro a bit full? Slot in an SD card, it's not from Apple

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: Tablet computer has slot for SD card - Surface deficiency

@Eadon - Buying an SD card. Yeah that's an equivalent pain in the hole to extending your house. Nice analogy.

24
3

Google donates 15,000 Raspberry Pis to UK schools

Code Monkey

Re: Google Doing Good Things

Am alternative would be to pay their taxes - then the schools could decide whether to spend the money on Raspberry Pis or not.

18
6

Huddled immigrant masses face 'British values' quiz

Code Monkey

"The Sun seems equally happy with the new test"

That tells you all you need to know. Though TBH the previous one was BS, too.

1
0

Google: Gov demands for YOUR web data up 70% in just 3 years

Code Monkey
Mushroom

Your government is spying on you

Whichever party they represent, do not trust these bastards!

3
0

Tech titans sell yesterday's idea wrapped in tomorrow's dream

Code Monkey

Re: This is a first

Don't see the point of mentioning Apple

SEO?

1
0

Asteroid-mining 'FireFlys' will be ready for action by 2015, vows space firm

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: bubblespace

I'm tempted to play along. Coming soon "Kickstarter Mine Thee Asteroidehs" from the Code Monkey Dept of Wacky Scams.

1
0

Entire Reg readership would fill 205 Olympic-sized swimming pools

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: There has to be a joke in their somewhere...

More of a golden trickle. 1.66 elephants per day isn't even a paltry 0.00002 elephants per second - the correct measure, as any fule kno.

0
0

Ballmer now flings out work rivals, rather than chairs, claims ex-Microsoftie

Code Monkey
Windows

He'll destroy MS

Ballmer will do what Apple, Google, linux, whoever else you care to mention. And best of all, we can all point and laugh while he does it.

9
0

First Google wants to know all about you, now it wants a RING on your finger

Code Monkey
Windows

Re: You have got to be kidding

Big sovereign rings are for Chavs, Google rings would really single you out as a nerd and a plonker, flash it in a bar 'hi babe I'm connected' will probably single you out as the guy to avoid. You will never have sex and you will be alone for the rest of your life.

Nerds will suss out that this is cobblers. It's your company BMW, bluetooth headset rep plonkers that'll lap this up.

0
1

This week's BBC MELTDOWN: Savile puppet haunts kids' TV

Code Monkey
Flame

Is "group of people get offended" still news?

If only there were any money in getting offended Britain would be fucking minted.

87
1

Pubic louse falls victim to eager Brazilian strippers

Code Monkey
Devil

Re: I read that as "Public louse..."

Give it a few minutes and I'm sure some (minor or otherwise) politico will oblige.

0
0
Code Monkey

Re: Is it good or bad?

I've never had crabs but I've heard tales. The conclusion I reached was that not having lice is better than having them.

4
0

Obama calls for study into games ‘n’ guns link

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: Guns don't kill people

... and playing Monopoly as a child made me a millionaire.

5
0

NRA: Video games kill people, not guns. And here's our video game

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: An NRA spokespersons said...

"Guns don’t kill people. Video games ... kill people."

I wish this were true. I tried wiping out my school witha cassette copy of Manic Miner. I got tired before killing even the weediest first year weakling and was easily overpowered by (unarmed) teachers.

20
0

Ten stars of CES 2013: Who made the biggest splash?

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

The smartphone with a decent battery life on a is the star of the show for me. That it's waterproof is impressive but secondary.

3
0

Review: HTC 8X Windows Phone 8 handset

Code Monkey
Windows

Android sales poor? Why not Windows?

Baffling!

0
0

Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

Code Monkey
Pint

Well done

Just to prove they're not all joyless moneygrabbing sociopathic lizards.

[raises a (tiny picture of a) pint]

29
0

Scientists snap first film of giant squid in action

Code Monkey

Re: Researchers, what would you do without them?

the rare desert penguin

Humboldt penguins are quite common in the Atacama desert

http://www.bbc.co.uk/learningzone/clips/humboldt-penguins-in-the-atacama-desert/8992.html

1
0
Code Monkey
Devil

Re: Hmm...

Cheap pet for a supervillain or the ULTIMATE AQUATIC PLATFORM FOR A FRICKIN LASER?

0
0
Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: "So they hooked it and dragged it to the surface where it died. "

From the article: "The squid was then hooked and taken to the surface for measurement."

0
0

Which qualifications are worthwhile?

Code Monkey

Re: Which qualifications are worthwhile?

Despite a long, long time spent working in the industry, I'm studying an IT degree with the OU at the moment and can recommend it.

One thing to bear in mind is cost. I'm lucky that I started just before the univeristy fees went up, so can finish my degree at the old rates. In common with traditional universities, the OU has more-or-less tripled its fees - meaning a full degree will now cost you £15k. Help is available, as are student loans so it's worth speaking to them.

The degree will take several years - though the fact that you're currently studying towards one could be a big boost to your jobhunting.

Good luck!

0
0

Sir James Dyson slams gov's 'obsession' with Silicon Roundabout

Code Monkey

Re: Hypocrite

True up to a point. That Dysons are made abroad does not stop Silicon Roundabout being bullshit.

22
0

Sculpted 66-pound jubs survive lightning blast, 26ft drop

Code Monkey

Re: Is it wrong...

There are pictures if you follow the link to the (magnificent) NT News site.

1
0

The 30-year-old prank that became the first computer virus

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: Geeks have macs too

PCs had only just launched. Linux was years away.

These may have beeen factors in the virus author's choosing a Mac.

4
6

Spanish airport cops seize cocaine-packed Bulgarian airbags

Code Monkey
Unhappy

Re: Open wounds!?

Another reason not to do cocaine. This stuff's not exactly fair trade.

9
0

Sniff.. Phew! WORLD'S OLDEST CHEESE discovered in Poland

Code Monkey

Re: "The evidence was stunning,"

I agree with the boffins. Cheese news is the best news.

4
0

Google maps app is BACK on iPhones, fanbois spared death

Code Monkey

Re: I almost died in Australia

"I almost die in Australia every day. From boredom, usually."

Does your iPhone keep sending you to funky new towns that don't exist?

0
0