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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Plucky Finn attempts to drive length of Finland in small digger

Code Monkey
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Awesome

I love the live webcam. Looks like today's average speed has just taken a tumble after chatting to a smart lass.

Fantastic stuff!

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New cycle helmets emit stench if they need replacement

Code Monkey
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+1

I can't believe I missed the boat on the smelly helmet gags. I'm so ashamed.

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Code Monkey
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Nice idea, but for the smell

Couldn't they leak easily-washed-off pigment instead?

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Auction opens for rare single letter net domain

Code Monkey
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.co

Reg readers know it comes from Colombia, most folks won't.

There was a fad for companies having .uk.co addresses a while ago. I doubt it was a good idea as people would assume a typo and go to their .co.uk equivalent - probably a competitor

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Bebo rave becalmed by waves

Code Monkey
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I was round a friend's

Presumably you rode across the Firth on your high horse, in pleny of time.

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Code Monkey
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You know more about tides than other people

Well done, have a cookie.

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Unarmed Royal Navy destroyers: French missiles blamed

Code Monkey
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Windows for Warships

Glad I live inland. Coastal types - I hope it's not your house that goes up when a worm gets into the missiles' firing systems.

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Prisoner of iTunes - the iPad file transfer horror

Code Monkey
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iTunes - faugh

Meanwhile I have been playing with it the HTC Desire last week. After years of having to use iTunes* to keeping an iPod up-to-date, the simple "connect to PC, drag files back and forth, disconnect" routine is a joy. So simple!

* on Windows - apparently it's better on Mac but I don't care enough to pay out an entire holiday's worth of money to find out

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Pacific islands growing not shrinking, says old study

Code Monkey
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Also

One or both of Alice Roberts's "The Incredible Human Journey" and Spencer Wells' "The Journey of Man: A Genetic Odyssey" support the spread from Asia.

They're excellent books and well worth a few evenings of anyone's time.

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Code Monkey
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Thor Heyerdahl

Thor Heyerdahl's idea that the Pacific islands were populated from South America has been pretty thoroughly discredited (though take nothing away from the magnifience of his journey).

That the islanders travelled (largely) from West to East is an even more impressive feat of navigation.

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Steve Jobs talks Flash, 'lying S.O.B' devs, sex, and Gizmodocrime

Code Monkey
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Carry on Steve

I found that interview most entertaining. It's just a question of not taking him too seriously.

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Quit Facebook Day flops

Code Monkey
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They do leave

Since the privacy hoo-ha people have been leaving (see past Reg stories about "delete Facebook account" rising in the Goolge search rankings). I've got various social networking accounts that have lapsed but I deleted Facebook.

I'm tempted to re-register to see how much of my info Facebook "remembers" but fear that reattaching the "hosepipe of shite" (it's how I've come to imagine the FB news feed) might mean I don't delete it again.

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Code Monkey
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Cached?

I'm assuming the count is cached, but the comments themselves aren't. Does it really affect your Reg-reading joy much?

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Snails on crystal meth: The facts

Code Monkey
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There's a mechanism for forgetting?

I mean other than drinking to excess.

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World Cup magic captured in Microsoft Paint

Code Monkey
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Lovely job!

My favourite is in there - Gazza chipping my all-time favourite player, Colin Hendry in Euro 96.

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BBC One HD to launch this autumn

Code Monkey
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Weakest Link HD

Another round of surgery for Anne Robinson, then

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Want nips like church coat pegs? Click here

Code Monkey
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Wet donkey jacket

If it's something generic you want, try "you could hang a wet donkey jacket on them".

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Queuing for an iPad? Why?

Code Monkey
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I'm no better than anyone else...

...but being "smart enough not to make such a stupid decision" counts for something.

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Code Monkey
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You're right

Shame on us commentards for having opinions on new pretty-but-useless technology. Reg, you should close these fora immediately!

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BBC iPlayer to run on iPads. Eventually

Code Monkey
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iPlayer + PS3

iPlayer is pretty much the only thing I use my PS3 for. It was handy on the laptop but telly on demand on the actual telly is superb. C4 and ITV need to catch up (in my case I'm not that arsed about ITV, mind, unless the darts is on).

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Music biz pot calls Apple black

Code Monkey
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Seabrook's

No inverted commas needed; Seabrook's tomato sauce crisps are the best ever.

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Facebook forces users to expose or remove connections

Code Monkey
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I'm actually disappointed I deleted mine

Shame. I'd have loved to have watched this shitstorm from up close. Ah well I'll get over it.

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'Being fat is no worse for you than being a woman'

Code Monkey
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Idleness and pie-scoffing

2 of my favourite activities!

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Sam Mendes to helm new Jesus Phone ads

Code Monkey
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So the difference is?

So the difference is Apple make pretty phones that may or may not do what you need a phone to do?

Roll on the day they decide they can't offer a "seamless" phonecall experience and drop the ability to make and receive calls, showing you iObsessed masses as the credulous fools you are!

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Amazon Kindle flunked by college students

Code Monkey
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Why not spend ~$500 on books?

I thought about getting a Kindle, then realised I could just spend all that money on books. Sure they take up rather a lot of space in my house but they're a lot easier on the eye and don't need recharging all the time.

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Statistics prof nails Blackpool hoopla scam

Code Monkey
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Incredible

I guess doctors can have gambling problems the same as the rest of us proles. It's sad.

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Plug-in pledges to rid web of Justin Bieber

Code Monkey
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Justin who?

Another entry in the "slebs I don't give a rat's ass about but aren't worth getting angry over either" file.

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6Music: Dead man walking?

Code Monkey
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Sack Chris Moyles

Losing Moyles and his equally unfunny cronies would free up enough money to save 6Music. It's the only music station worth bothering with.

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Atlantis spacewalkers snapped through shuttle windows

Code Monkey
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$7bn well spent

I reckon the $7bn went into making graphite substitute that's unbreakable while still being writeable-withable.

If you imagine a bit of normal mechanical pencil breaking off and drifting into something vital in the near-zero-gravity, then it's money well spent. Probably.

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'Draw Mohammed' page removed from Facebook

Code Monkey
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Deleted

Sorry mate, I deleted mine.

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Code Monkey
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Where they came from

The family of Muslims that live next door to me come from Birmingham.

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Swindon prepares for pill-popping, ghost-fleeing tournament

Code Monkey
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Olympics

These should be our Olympic mascots.

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Robothopter in biomimetic butterfly boffinry breakthrough

Code Monkey
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Wow

Even if this never has any practical application it is beautiful. Nanoaeroboffins I salute you.

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Carmakers and blind boosters boost noisy leccy plan

Code Monkey
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Dogs

Do that and watch the number of dog attacks rocket as the "inaudible" sound drives them mental.

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Code Monkey
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La Cucuracha

They do round my way. Well actually it's the Match of the Day theme tune; either way it's a huge assault on the senses

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Code Monkey
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Motorhead

Just issue every driver with a Best of Motorhead CD and oblige them to play it at full blast with the windows open.

As a bonus side-effect hybrid drivers will have some excitement to make up for their pitifully underperforming cars.

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Mechanic drove three miles with angry bloke on bonnet

Code Monkey
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Not arf

http://wpcontent.answers.com/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/84/Hell_%28Father_Ted%29_screengrab.jpg/256px-Hell_%28Father_Ted%29_screengrab.jpg

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DRAM makers fined €331m for euro cartel

Code Monkey
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DRAM

I thought this was going to be a story about whisky. Imagine my disappointment!

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World+bitch flocking to expose self on Facebook

Code Monkey
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True

It's like saying Jupiter's bigger than an elephant. There are better comparisons but the statement is correct.

My 2p: I reckon it's a typo and shame on us all for our pedantry!

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Code Monkey
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"About half the women I know have had one done."

Is that know for real or half your female Facebook friends?

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Reg reader applauds World's Crappiest phish

Code Monkey
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Wow

All that's missing is a "kthxbai".

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Sir Paul McBeatle: 'Me, I'd love Beatles to be on iTunes'

Code Monkey
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Yet another Scouse sense-of-humour fail

The most overrated band in history if you ask me.

Go ahead, vote me down if you like, just remember that disagreeing != trolling.

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Shock! Facebook cycle-slut smutvid is adware front

Code Monkey
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Down with that sort of thing

I saw this coming. With the rise of "become a fan to see [something]" pages, the page punting malware wasn't so far away. So long Facebook, hello free time spend more wisely.

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EU privacy watchdogs say Facebook changes 'unacceptable'

Code Monkey
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How to permanently delete your Facebook account

http://www.groovypost.com/howto/security/permanently-delete-your-facebook-profile-account/

Following these steps deletes, rather than deactivates your account. Which is nice.

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Cideko Air Keyboard motion controller

Code Monkey
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Nostalgia Factor

Is anyone (else) of a certain age looking at that keyboard and thinking "Spectrum"?

I've been idly wondering about a keyboard for the PS3 and the nostalgia factor could make this the one.

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Google sets sights on the dashboard

Code Monkey
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Could be worse

This car has failed to stop because brakes.dll was not found.

@ the poster above: Yes it's childish. Are you new here?

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Code Monkey
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Try Renault

No doubt they're doing something quirky, like Haiku OS :)

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Code Monkey
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Beta

"Do you realise you were doing 50mph in a 30mph zone?"

"Oops, sorry officer, my speedo's a beta."

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Facebook convenes privacy 'crisis' meeting

Code Monkey
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Get it right, bitch

@Facebook - get this right or I'm off. Bitch.

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The Cameregg plan: Who got what?

Code Monkey
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And

I bet the Tories' single, solitary Scottish MP is livid after missing out on the Scottish Secretary position.

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