* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Linux police offer deviant Android return from exile

Code Monkey

It is a fork

In fact Linus has said "nice fork" or words to that effect.

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HEY ARSEHOLE: STOP SENDING ME ANGRY EMAILS

Code Monkey

I'll help

I'll do it for a few quid. I bet a few other fellow commentards would, too. Just check our posting histories for references.

PS WHY IS THIS STORY IN REGHARDWARE? IT'S GOT JACK TURD TO DO WITH HARDWARE YOU HALF-WITTED ASSCLOWN. GOD THIS SITE SUCKS. UTTER SHITE, REG!

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Oakland green lights 'industrial' marijuana cultivation

Code Monkey

Anti-stupid

So instead of wasting thousands of plod man hours, they tax it and make money? If only a few other authorities would follow suit.

(Personally I'm not that arsed about drugs, one way or another - I'm just opposed to stupidity.)

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1984's MacPaint source code hits web

Code Monkey

Re: Source Code Tour of UNIX??

It's a book: http://tinyurl.com/32jysja (Amazon)

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Google switches on Buzz firehose

Code Monkey

Google

Why do I have this need to go and check my privacy settings again?

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Phonemakers cry foul on Steve Jobs 'We're all alike' attack

Code Monkey

Nokia

Would that be the one that you can, y'know, use to make phonecalls?

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Code Monkey

Back to work

Are you new here?

(reading while compiling : http://xkcd.com/303/ )

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Code Monkey

Jobs

You're in a hole. Stop digging.

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Mobile phones cause tinnitus, says study

Code Monkey

"The sample size is terribly small of course"

Glad you pointed that out. Another half-assed survey masquerading as research.

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Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites

Code Monkey

"there is no other explanation that makes sense"

Like yours does? Crazy Bosnian!

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The Register comment guidelines 2010

Code Monkey

Impressive

A dig at Apple commenting on the comment guidelines. I salute you!

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Code Monkey

Heh

I guess the tariff still applies, but no one's paying :o)

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Opera Mini de-betas on Android

Code Monkey

Zoom

A decent zoom is essential for a larger-fingered gentleman such as myself.

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Sepp Blatter dubbed 'Bellend' by SA gov website

Code Monkey

Vuvuzela

IMO Bellend was right to allow it. It's a part of South African footie culture and its World Cup should reflect that.

That said, anyone blowing one near me next season will be down A&E getting it removed from their jacksy.

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Code Monkey

Mr

If the helmet fits, Sepp...

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Seagate announces ugly diskless NAS filer

Code Monkey

Cost

I can't explain why they cost so much but one thing to consider is these tend to be a lot cheaper to run than a PC, especially with rising leccy costs (plus the VAT increase)

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Code Monkey

My sort of kit

Big lumps of metal, that's the look I'm after! Well done Seagate for bucking the trend!

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Famous 'Invisible Gorilla' trick vid gets sequel

Code Monkey

Roundabout

The roundabout one's a bugger. I've had a few close shaves myself (both as potential crasher and crashee)..

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Apple bars radiation nanny from App Store

Code Monkey

I agree with Apple

Blimey. First Arjen Robben keeps his feet after being tackled now this. What is going on?

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SCO rises from the dead (again)

Code Monkey
Coat

Welcome back SCO!

Fair enough we're not short of laughs in our industry but as a comedy franchise, SCO is going for some sort of record. Maybe we should start calling them UNIX Academy.

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Barnet and West Sussex breach DPA

Code Monkey

Depressingly familiar

Not shooting the messenger here, Reg. You're right to report it but this kind of story is becoming depressingly familiar. I fear the planned public sector spending cuts will mean that data-handling training is only going to get worse.

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iRiver Story to preface WHSmith entry into e-book biz

Code Monkey

Paper ain't broke - don't fix it

For £250 you could buy 40-50 paperbacks and just read, y'know, them.

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Fanbois love sex toys: Official

Code Monkey

Lilac shit?

I don't understand that at all. That makes me glad to be an English HTC-owner.

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Code Monkey

iRampant iRabbit 4.0

Be careful how you hold it as it may not work as well.

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Code Monkey

Shafted

Getting shafted by Apple obviously isn't enough for them

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Apple reckons light shines between iPhone customers' ears

Code Monkey

Now it can't make calls in daylight?

Or is this because of another software cock-up in the previous iPhone.

So glad I don't own one of these!

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Feed curry to sheep, boffins suggest

Code Monkey

Nice

Maybe it would give the lamb a nice flavour as well - a pre-mortem marinade?

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Fusion reactor eats Euro science budgets

Code Monkey

Nice analogy

[see title]

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BBC chief acknowledges DAB flop & internet radio

Code Monkey

Radio on iPlayer

"Listeners are discovering radio on iPlayer in spite of the BBC's help, not because of it."

They're not exactly hiding it. On the default BBC home page there are "Listen Live" (iPlayer) links to all national BBC stations.

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'The internet's completely over', declares petulant Prince

Code Monkey

U2

Yup. Bono's a complete bellend. Sting's another. One of the things I miss about the post-Facebook world is the pictures of Sting looking like a twat group - seriously FB users, search for it and be amazed!

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Code Monkey

Oh there's a meerkat

Your best years are well behind you, Prince. I can't see many people giving a rat's jacksy about your latest wankramble.

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Nine Inch Nails guy scores Facebook movie... bitch!

Code Monkey

Facebook Movie

"Frank just had a dump, lol" spun out to feature-length.

One to avoid methinks.

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6music wins possible reprieve from BBC Trust

Code Monkey

Auntie doesn't get much right...

...but this is fantastic news.

There isn't anything else like it broadcasting in the UK. I love the feeling of being able to switch it on at any hour of the day, confident that there's quality music (especially music that I'd not heard of) to be had.

Save 6music!

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Beware of cold call scammers pushing rogue antivirus

Code Monkey

Larks

Lots of tales about stringing them along for larks - which is exactly what I'd do. Bless you Reg readers, bless you all!

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Apple denies iPhone 4 antenna glitch, blames inaccurate signal bars

Code Monkey

Crap reception

Crap reception unless you hold it in a special way or put an expensive rubber band around it. Pull the other one, Jobs.

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Code Monkey

"wank boutique"

[applauds]

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Apple speaks out on iPhone 4 signal slippage

Code Monkey

Sounds like

Authentic frontier gibberish

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Beeb reinstates teaboy in Pestogate scandal

Code Monkey

BBC changes photo on website

Slow news day?

This stopped being funny 2 stories ago.

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IPVision FetchTV SmartBox 8000 DVR

Code Monkey
FAIL

They want my credit card details?

Then they can chuff right off.

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BCS rebels apologise ahead of crunch meeting

Code Monkey

The Chartered Institute for IT - Enabling Waffle Waffle Waffle

The British Computer Society is a fantastic name. A great example of plain English. The proposed rebranding sounds like it was dreamt up by a committee of MBA waving recent graduates who couldn't accomplish any IT task more difficult than opening an email attachment.

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Finn finishes Finnish mini-digger odyssey

Code Monkey

Wonderfully pointless

Add to that a little rapturous applause from an overheating IT office in the Midlands, too. Well done Finnish nutter!

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Hornby opens part-time visitor centre

Code Monkey

Airfix

Airfix _don't_ make models?

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Apple support-drone scripts leaked

Code Monkey

Hmm

Apple really are a bit bobbins aren't they?

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Nipper's naked arse provokes Street View outrage

Code Monkey

Simple solution

Just make your child put some damned clothes on!

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Disgruntled fanbois sought for iPhone 4 Apple prosecution

Code Monkey

How to get an Applephobe to change his mind...

...send in the lawyers. So in the spirit of my enemy's enemy is my friend: go Steve!

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Oklahoma granny sues cops over tasering

Code Monkey

Wow

Who the hell are these chimps that can't handle an 86-year-old without resorting to a Taser?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

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Spanish firm raided in logic-bomb backdoor probe

Code Monkey

Backdoor probe

May I be the 1057th person to congratulate you on your use of the phrase "backdoor probe"?

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England versus Germany: Quaff real ale

Code Monkey

Heh

My colleague tried that on Wednesday. He was still working out which permutations meant we avoided Germany when I told him they'd played on Wednesday night and won the group.

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Code Monkey

Hops

Not just for the hops, not just for the Germany game - lager is pish anyway.

Mine's the one with the bottle of Holdens Golden Glow in the pocket

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Middle-aged sex: The X-rated photo guide

Code Monkey

Superb

Where's the standing ovation icon?

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