* Posts by Code Monkey

1559 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

iTunes disses doctorates

Code Monkey

Take it from me

Even us lowly Misters know to steer clear of iTunes. Once was enough

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Code Monkey

PhDs

Unless you're actually giving medical treatment to people, calling yourself "Dr" is just pretentious; as is sticking long strings of letters after your name.

Went to school a bit longer than the rest of us? So what. Get over your selves.

Yours

Mr Code Monkey

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36

US starts charging for online visa-waiver

Code Monkey

Yes

When there are plenty of other countries with sane immigration and better gun control. I should say so.

There are bits of the US I'd like to see. In the meantime, Peru and elsewhere can have my tourist £££

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Channel 4 4OD to hit PS3

Code Monkey

Great news!

Do C4 still have good programmes? As most of my telly watching is iPlayer on the PS3, I've lost touch

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Brian Blessed lends his tongue to TomTom

Code Monkey

Pace notes

I've not got a sat nav and I'm not getting one until I find one with a stressed sounding Welshman reading the directions like rally pace notes.

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Alien spymobile menaces Street View

Code Monkey

Or..

Or if they do, they'll not cough to it!

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Indonesian parliament gets smut eyeful

Code Monkey

Muphry's law

God bless ol'Muphry

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Liberal Google, Yahoo!, Apple hurting America claims Reagan

Code Monkey

Tea Party Caucus

Was it just me that read it as ""Tea Party Circus"?

I thought not.

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Leicester City councillors eye up iPad to save £90k a year

Code Monkey

What they should've done

What they should've done is given them all Scalextric if they're that desperate for toys.

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Code Monkey

P45s for some, toys for the elite

That £90k saving sounds like complete shite to me.

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PARIS pumps up a Mk 2 release mechanism

Code Monkey

Magnificent bodging

Lovely stuff Reg. It's great to read of some proper boffinry. Boffinry with bits and bobs from the "bits of string" drawer.

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Dell outsourcer lifts US woman's saucy pix from PC

Code Monkey

Wow

I bet even 419 scammees are thinking this woman is thick.

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Stealth fighter in Canadian Wikipedia brouhaha

Code Monkey

Pathetic

If I didn't spend so long on the Reg forums I'd moan about them having nothing better to do.

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Boffins authenticate Apple 'Antennagate'

Code Monkey

@Big-nosed Pengie

"Think different" aka "manage your expectations".

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UK supermarket starts contactless payments

Code Monkey

Security

Even with asking for a PIN at random, contactless payments will still make my future debit card more attractive to a potential mugger. Not a smart move (and not that the banks would give a shite either way).

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Czechs toast Bud-beating beer win

Code Monkey

Another

"It's not a bottle for drinking, it's one for laying down and avoiding"

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Code Monkey

A victory for common sense and decent lager

Congratulations to Proper Bud*! In celebration I might try the 3 Budvar thing tonight.

* As opposed to scarily yellow American piss

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Chaos surrounds New Zealand iPhone 4 day

Code Monkey

Jacob Creech

The sort of name to get me checking it's not 1st April

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Supercomputer geek builds Cray-1 around home PC

Code Monkey

A design of stunning awfulness

Nah, they scrapped Vista. Windows 7's not so bad.

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Sky bags UK HBO exclusive

Code Monkey

Ah well

There's always BitTorrent ;o)

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Fragrant tech thief stalks Whitehall

Code Monkey

Classified data

My arse "none of the stolen devices contained classified data".

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Papal crackdown on bare-kneed tourists sparks hypocrisy claims

Code Monkey

Cover up

The church has spent years covering up all that child abuse. It's only fair that the faithful cover up, too.

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Sky turns 3D on Oct 1

Code Monkey

Football in 3d

It's already widely available at your local ground. Give it a try, it's great!

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BT layoffs boost profits

Code Monkey

BT: Bunch of Twunts

If it wasn't for iPlayer, software updates and whatnot I'd tell them to go screw themselves and go completely mobile.

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NoScript 2.0 beefs border patrol

Code Monkey

Flashblock + Streetview

You can whitelist Google Maps' URL

(On Windows) go to Tools > Add-ons. Click Flashblock's options, select whitelist and add maps.google.co.uk (or whichever Google Maps you use) and hey presto, you have Streetview

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Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Code Monkey

I LOLled

That is all

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Police chief: Yes, my plods sometimes forget photo laws

Code Monkey

Re: Over the top?

"On a personal level I have seen photographers taking illicit 'up skirt' shots,"

With DSLRs? Talk sense!

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Code Monkey

Plod's out of control

Somebody should remind this bunch of Gene Hunts that they work for us.

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Apple reminds Aussies they can buy iPhone 4s on Friday

Code Monkey

No downvote required?

But downvotes are traditional in iThing comments; no matter which side you're on or how sensible your comment.

I'm not making any claims to sensible comments, BTW, but some commentards have.

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Canadian flyboy prangs CF-18 Hornet

Code Monkey

LIke Independence Day

With top quality SFX like that they're not just going to show it once!

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US legalizes jailbroken iPhones

Code Monkey

Here's hoping...

...though I fear it's the exception, rather than the rule.

I'll happily eat my hat if this common sense continues and sorts out the USA's laughable patents system.

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Withings Wi-Fi bathroom scales

Code Monkey

Not 1st April

Good. Lord. No.

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ACTA leaks - but secret squirrel stays secret

Code Monkey

Which party?

I think we can all make an educated guess at that...

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Imitate Real Ale quaffers, save the economy, says biz prof

Code Monkey

It's their loss

No, no, no. Ignore the poster, above. Stick to the fizzy piss and save the proper beer for me!

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Linux police offer deviant Android return from exile

Code Monkey

It is a fork

In fact Linus has said "nice fork" or words to that effect.

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HEY ARSEHOLE: STOP SENDING ME ANGRY EMAILS

Code Monkey

I'll help

I'll do it for a few quid. I bet a few other fellow commentards would, too. Just check our posting histories for references.

PS WHY IS THIS STORY IN REGHARDWARE? IT'S GOT JACK TURD TO DO WITH HARDWARE YOU HALF-WITTED ASSCLOWN. GOD THIS SITE SUCKS. UTTER SHITE, REG!

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Oakland green lights 'industrial' marijuana cultivation

Code Monkey

Anti-stupid

So instead of wasting thousands of plod man hours, they tax it and make money? If only a few other authorities would follow suit.

(Personally I'm not that arsed about drugs, one way or another - I'm just opposed to stupidity.)

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1984's MacPaint source code hits web

Code Monkey

Re: Source Code Tour of UNIX??

It's a book: http://tinyurl.com/32jysja (Amazon)

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Google switches on Buzz firehose

Code Monkey

Google

Why do I have this need to go and check my privacy settings again?

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Phonemakers cry foul on Steve Jobs 'We're all alike' attack

Code Monkey

Nokia

Would that be the one that you can, y'know, use to make phonecalls?

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Code Monkey

Back to work

Are you new here?

(reading while compiling : http://xkcd.com/303/ )

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Code Monkey

Jobs

You're in a hole. Stop digging.

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Mobile phones cause tinnitus, says study

Code Monkey

"The sample size is terribly small of course"

Glad you pointed that out. Another half-assed survey masquerading as research.

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Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites

Code Monkey

"there is no other explanation that makes sense"

Like yours does? Crazy Bosnian!

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The Register comment guidelines 2010

Code Monkey

Impressive

A dig at Apple commenting on the comment guidelines. I salute you!

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Code Monkey

Heh

I guess the tariff still applies, but no one's paying :o)

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Opera Mini de-betas on Android

Code Monkey

Zoom

A decent zoom is essential for a larger-fingered gentleman such as myself.

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Sepp Blatter dubbed 'Bellend' by SA gov website

Code Monkey

Vuvuzela

IMO Bellend was right to allow it. It's a part of South African footie culture and its World Cup should reflect that.

That said, anyone blowing one near me next season will be down A&E getting it removed from their jacksy.

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Code Monkey

Mr

If the helmet fits, Sepp...

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Seagate announces ugly diskless NAS filer

Code Monkey

Cost

I can't explain why they cost so much but one thing to consider is these tend to be a lot cheaper to run than a PC, especially with rising leccy costs (plus the VAT increase)

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