* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Ads watchdog: PS3 graphics 'discernibly' better than Xbox

Code Monkey

Either...

Either he works for Sony or needs to switch off his console and get out more.

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HMRC staff fired for racism over benefits

Code Monkey

Wow

That's truly vile.

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Booze makes you clever, having none makes you stupid

Code Monkey

No

Alcoholism is harmful, as it getting so wankered you can't get home or whatever.

In moderation it's fine and quite fun if you ask me.

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Ikea forecasts fluffy, fully teched kitchen of the future

Code Monkey

My idea of hell

"Are you sure you should be baking another pie, Mr Code Monkey, sir?"

/me smashes the damned kitchen with hammers

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Hackers: 'ColdFusion bug more serious than Adobe says'

Code Monkey

CFIDE etc.

You can set them them to be accessible from localhost only.

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Code Monkey

It's an excellent platform

Cost has been CF's biggest problem, when most competing platforms are free.

In its favour is it's very quick to develop and maintain web apps. Scaling is great and server management is a breeze.

We're mostly a Java shop now but we've still got about 20 CF servers in production. Our or our customers' sysadmins look after Windows updates but the CF side is managed (very well) by developers.

I've very fond memories of ColdFusion but I'd not want to look for a job without something else on my CV

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Google dubs Oracle suit 'attack on Java community'

Code Monkey

But...

You have to admit that Sun did become very bad at making money

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Canonical reveals next Ubuntu's touchy side

Code Monkey

Much as I don't want to agree with that...

... I agree with that.

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Schmidt: Erase your identity to escape Google shame

Code Monkey

Yes

I recommend Lamebook.

I don't work for them; I just like to spend 10 minutes a day laughing at the stupid.

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George Lucas names Star Wars Blu-ray release date

Code Monkey

3 films

If he released the two trilogies separately the huge disparity would finally convince him that the last 3 (or first, as it were) films are utter shite.

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Alleged pirate fingered for filming film at Harrow flicks

Code Monkey

Why?

You've got to admire him. No way could I sit through an entire Jenifer Aniston movie, no matter how much money I could make off the knock-off DVDs.

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Are plasma TVs killing radio?

Code Monkey

Apart from the sport, I agree

It's good at sport, rubbish at everything else. I've really no interest in what the "Great British Public" has to say about anything. And if their phone-ins are anything to go by the country's full of knuckle-scrapers from Dagenham who blame immigration for everything.

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Code Monkey

Me too

Telly is pretty much all shite. Radio 4 is fantastic. All IMO, of course.

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Code Monkey

It's the 80s all over again

My ZX Spectrum used to play hell with Radio 1 when it was on Medium Wave.

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iTunes disses doctorates

Code Monkey

I'm not sure when, but...

I'd take a guess that *legally* an unmarried girl becomes a spinster as soon as she is old enough to be married.

When my (then) girlfriend and I arranged our wedding, the registry office legal papers referred to her as a spinster. She wasn't happy at all.

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Code Monkey

@Dr Anonymous Coward

I'm neither jealous nor ignorant. I'm just not in the least bit interested that you spent a few years extra at University, whatever it is you did.

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Code Monkey

Take it from me

Even us lowly Misters know to steer clear of iTunes. Once was enough

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Code Monkey

PhDs

Unless you're actually giving medical treatment to people, calling yourself "Dr" is just pretentious; as is sticking long strings of letters after your name.

Went to school a bit longer than the rest of us? So what. Get over your selves.

Yours

Mr Code Monkey

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US starts charging for online visa-waiver

Code Monkey

Yes

When there are plenty of other countries with sane immigration and better gun control. I should say so.

There are bits of the US I'd like to see. In the meantime, Peru and elsewhere can have my tourist £££

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Channel 4 4OD to hit PS3

Code Monkey

Great news!

Do C4 still have good programmes? As most of my telly watching is iPlayer on the PS3, I've lost touch

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Brian Blessed lends his tongue to TomTom

Code Monkey

Pace notes

I've not got a sat nav and I'm not getting one until I find one with a stressed sounding Welshman reading the directions like rally pace notes.

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Alien spymobile menaces Street View

Code Monkey

Or..

Or if they do, they'll not cough to it!

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Indonesian parliament gets smut eyeful

Code Monkey

Muphry's law

God bless ol'Muphry

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Liberal Google, Yahoo!, Apple hurting America claims Reagan

Code Monkey

Tea Party Caucus

Was it just me that read it as ""Tea Party Circus"?

I thought not.

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Leicester City councillors eye up iPad to save £90k a year

Code Monkey

What they should've done

What they should've done is given them all Scalextric if they're that desperate for toys.

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Code Monkey

P45s for some, toys for the elite

That £90k saving sounds like complete shite to me.

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PARIS pumps up a Mk 2 release mechanism

Code Monkey

Magnificent bodging

Lovely stuff Reg. It's great to read of some proper boffinry. Boffinry with bits and bobs from the "bits of string" drawer.

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Dell outsourcer lifts US woman's saucy pix from PC

Code Monkey

Wow

I bet even 419 scammees are thinking this woman is thick.

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Stealth fighter in Canadian Wikipedia brouhaha

Code Monkey

Pathetic

If I didn't spend so long on the Reg forums I'd moan about them having nothing better to do.

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Boffins authenticate Apple 'Antennagate'

Code Monkey

@Big-nosed Pengie

"Think different" aka "manage your expectations".

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UK supermarket starts contactless payments

Code Monkey

Security

Even with asking for a PIN at random, contactless payments will still make my future debit card more attractive to a potential mugger. Not a smart move (and not that the banks would give a shite either way).

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Czechs toast Bud-beating beer win

Code Monkey

Another

"It's not a bottle for drinking, it's one for laying down and avoiding"

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Code Monkey

A victory for common sense and decent lager

Congratulations to Proper Bud*! In celebration I might try the 3 Budvar thing tonight.

* As opposed to scarily yellow American piss

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Chaos surrounds New Zealand iPhone 4 day

Code Monkey

Jacob Creech

The sort of name to get me checking it's not 1st April

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Supercomputer geek builds Cray-1 around home PC

Code Monkey

A design of stunning awfulness

Nah, they scrapped Vista. Windows 7's not so bad.

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Sky bags UK HBO exclusive

Code Monkey

Ah well

There's always BitTorrent ;o)

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Fragrant tech thief stalks Whitehall

Code Monkey

Classified data

My arse "none of the stolen devices contained classified data".

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Papal crackdown on bare-kneed tourists sparks hypocrisy claims

Code Monkey

Cover up

The church has spent years covering up all that child abuse. It's only fair that the faithful cover up, too.

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Sky turns 3D on Oct 1

Code Monkey

Football in 3d

It's already widely available at your local ground. Give it a try, it's great!

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BT layoffs boost profits

Code Monkey

BT: Bunch of Twunts

If it wasn't for iPlayer, software updates and whatnot I'd tell them to go screw themselves and go completely mobile.

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NoScript 2.0 beefs border patrol

Code Monkey

Flashblock + Streetview

You can whitelist Google Maps' URL

(On Windows) go to Tools > Add-ons. Click Flashblock's options, select whitelist and add maps.google.co.uk (or whichever Google Maps you use) and hey presto, you have Streetview

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Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Code Monkey

I LOLled

That is all

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Police chief: Yes, my plods sometimes forget photo laws

Code Monkey

Re: Over the top?

"On a personal level I have seen photographers taking illicit 'up skirt' shots,"

With DSLRs? Talk sense!

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Code Monkey

Plod's out of control

Somebody should remind this bunch of Gene Hunts that they work for us.

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Apple reminds Aussies they can buy iPhone 4s on Friday

Code Monkey

No downvote required?

But downvotes are traditional in iThing comments; no matter which side you're on or how sensible your comment.

I'm not making any claims to sensible comments, BTW, but some commentards have.

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Canadian flyboy prangs CF-18 Hornet

Code Monkey

LIke Independence Day

With top quality SFX like that they're not just going to show it once!

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US legalizes jailbroken iPhones

Code Monkey

Here's hoping...

...though I fear it's the exception, rather than the rule.

I'll happily eat my hat if this common sense continues and sorts out the USA's laughable patents system.

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Withings Wi-Fi bathroom scales

Code Monkey

Not 1st April

Good. Lord. No.

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ACTA leaks - but secret squirrel stays secret

Code Monkey

Which party?

I think we can all make an educated guess at that...

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Imitate Real Ale quaffers, save the economy, says biz prof

Code Monkey

It's their loss

No, no, no. Ignore the poster, above. Stick to the fizzy piss and save the proper beer for me!

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