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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Indonesian parliament gets smut eyeful

Code Monkey
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Muphry's law

God bless ol'Muphry

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Liberal Google, Yahoo!, Apple hurting America claims Reagan

Code Monkey
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Tea Party Caucus

Was it just me that read it as ""Tea Party Circus"?

I thought not.

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Leicester City councillors eye up iPad to save £90k a year

Code Monkey
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What they should've done

What they should've done is given them all Scalextric if they're that desperate for toys.

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Code Monkey
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P45s for some, toys for the elite

That £90k saving sounds like complete shite to me.

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PARIS pumps up a Mk 2 release mechanism

Code Monkey
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Magnificent bodging

Lovely stuff Reg. It's great to read of some proper boffinry. Boffinry with bits and bobs from the "bits of string" drawer.

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Dell outsourcer lifts US woman's saucy pix from PC

Code Monkey
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Wow

I bet even 419 scammees are thinking this woman is thick.

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Stealth fighter in Canadian Wikipedia brouhaha

Code Monkey
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Pathetic

If I didn't spend so long on the Reg forums I'd moan about them having nothing better to do.

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Boffins authenticate Apple 'Antennagate'

Code Monkey
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@Big-nosed Pengie

"Think different" aka "manage your expectations".

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UK supermarket starts contactless payments

Code Monkey
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Security

Even with asking for a PIN at random, contactless payments will still make my future debit card more attractive to a potential mugger. Not a smart move (and not that the banks would give a shite either way).

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Czechs toast Bud-beating beer win

Code Monkey
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Another

"It's not a bottle for drinking, it's one for laying down and avoiding"

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Code Monkey
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A victory for common sense and decent lager

Congratulations to Proper Bud*! In celebration I might try the 3 Budvar thing tonight.

* As opposed to scarily yellow American piss

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Chaos surrounds New Zealand iPhone 4 day

Code Monkey
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Jacob Creech

The sort of name to get me checking it's not 1st April

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Supercomputer geek builds Cray-1 around home PC

Code Monkey
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A design of stunning awfulness

Nah, they scrapped Vista. Windows 7's not so bad.

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Sky bags UK HBO exclusive

Code Monkey
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Ah well

There's always BitTorrent ;o)

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Fragrant tech thief stalks Whitehall

Code Monkey
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Classified data

My arse "none of the stolen devices contained classified data".

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Papal crackdown on bare-kneed tourists sparks hypocrisy claims

Code Monkey
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Cover up

The church has spent years covering up all that child abuse. It's only fair that the faithful cover up, too.

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Sky turns 3D on Oct 1

Code Monkey
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Football in 3d

It's already widely available at your local ground. Give it a try, it's great!

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BT layoffs boost profits

Code Monkey
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BT: Bunch of Twunts

If it wasn't for iPlayer, software updates and whatnot I'd tell them to go screw themselves and go completely mobile.

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NoScript 2.0 beefs border patrol

Code Monkey
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Flashblock + Streetview

You can whitelist Google Maps' URL

(On Windows) go to Tools > Add-ons. Click Flashblock's options, select whitelist and add maps.google.co.uk (or whichever Google Maps you use) and hey presto, you have Streetview

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Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Code Monkey
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I LOLled

That is all

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Police chief: Yes, my plods sometimes forget photo laws

Code Monkey
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Re: Over the top?

"On a personal level I have seen photographers taking illicit 'up skirt' shots,"

With DSLRs? Talk sense!

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Code Monkey
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Plod's out of control

Somebody should remind this bunch of Gene Hunts that they work for us.

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Apple reminds Aussies they can buy iPhone 4s on Friday

Code Monkey
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No downvote required?

But downvotes are traditional in iThing comments; no matter which side you're on or how sensible your comment.

I'm not making any claims to sensible comments, BTW, but some commentards have.

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Canadian flyboy prangs CF-18 Hornet

Code Monkey
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LIke Independence Day

With top quality SFX like that they're not just going to show it once!

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US legalizes jailbroken iPhones

Code Monkey
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Here's hoping...

...though I fear it's the exception, rather than the rule.

I'll happily eat my hat if this common sense continues and sorts out the USA's laughable patents system.

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Withings Wi-Fi bathroom scales

Code Monkey
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Not 1st April

Good. Lord. No.

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ACTA leaks - but secret squirrel stays secret

Code Monkey
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Which party?

I think we can all make an educated guess at that...

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Imitate Real Ale quaffers, save the economy, says biz prof

Code Monkey
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It's their loss

No, no, no. Ignore the poster, above. Stick to the fizzy piss and save the proper beer for me!

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Linux police offer deviant Android return from exile

Code Monkey
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It is a fork

In fact Linus has said "nice fork" or words to that effect.

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HEY ARSEHOLE: STOP SENDING ME ANGRY EMAILS

Code Monkey
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I'll help

I'll do it for a few quid. I bet a few other fellow commentards would, too. Just check our posting histories for references.

PS WHY IS THIS STORY IN REGHARDWARE? IT'S GOT JACK TURD TO DO WITH HARDWARE YOU HALF-WITTED ASSCLOWN. GOD THIS SITE SUCKS. UTTER SHITE, REG!

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Oakland green lights 'industrial' marijuana cultivation

Code Monkey
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Anti-stupid

So instead of wasting thousands of plod man hours, they tax it and make money? If only a few other authorities would follow suit.

(Personally I'm not that arsed about drugs, one way or another - I'm just opposed to stupidity.)

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1984's MacPaint source code hits web

Code Monkey
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Re: Source Code Tour of UNIX??

It's a book: http://tinyurl.com/32jysja (Amazon)

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Google switches on Buzz firehose

Code Monkey
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Google

Why do I have this need to go and check my privacy settings again?

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Phonemakers cry foul on Steve Jobs 'We're all alike' attack

Code Monkey
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Nokia

Would that be the one that you can, y'know, use to make phonecalls?

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Code Monkey
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Back to work

Are you new here?

(reading while compiling : http://xkcd.com/303/ )

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Code Monkey
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Jobs

You're in a hole. Stop digging.

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Mobile phones cause tinnitus, says study

Code Monkey
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"The sample size is terribly small of course"

Glad you pointed that out. Another half-assed survey masquerading as research.

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Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites

Code Monkey
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"there is no other explanation that makes sense"

Like yours does? Crazy Bosnian!

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The Register comment guidelines 2010

Code Monkey
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Impressive

A dig at Apple commenting on the comment guidelines. I salute you!

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Code Monkey
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Heh

I guess the tariff still applies, but no one's paying :o)

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Opera Mini de-betas on Android

Code Monkey
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Zoom

A decent zoom is essential for a larger-fingered gentleman such as myself.

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Sepp Blatter dubbed 'Bellend' by SA gov website

Code Monkey
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Vuvuzela

IMO Bellend was right to allow it. It's a part of South African footie culture and its World Cup should reflect that.

That said, anyone blowing one near me next season will be down A&E getting it removed from their jacksy.

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Code Monkey
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Mr

If the helmet fits, Sepp...

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Seagate announces ugly diskless NAS filer

Code Monkey
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Cost

I can't explain why they cost so much but one thing to consider is these tend to be a lot cheaper to run than a PC, especially with rising leccy costs (plus the VAT increase)

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Code Monkey
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My sort of kit

Big lumps of metal, that's the look I'm after! Well done Seagate for bucking the trend!

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Famous 'Invisible Gorilla' trick vid gets sequel

Code Monkey
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Roundabout

The roundabout one's a bugger. I've had a few close shaves myself (both as potential crasher and crashee)..

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Apple bars radiation nanny from App Store

Code Monkey
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I agree with Apple

Blimey. First Arjen Robben keeps his feet after being tackled now this. What is going on?

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SCO rises from the dead (again)

Code Monkey
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Coat

Welcome back SCO!

Fair enough we're not short of laughs in our industry but as a comedy franchise, SCO is going for some sort of record. Maybe we should start calling them UNIX Academy.

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Barnet and West Sussex breach DPA

Code Monkey
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Depressingly familiar

Not shooting the messenger here, Reg. You're right to report it but this kind of story is becoming depressingly familiar. I fear the planned public sector spending cuts will mean that data-handling training is only going to get worse.

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iRiver Story to preface WHSmith entry into e-book biz

Code Monkey
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Paper ain't broke - don't fix it

For £250 you could buy 40-50 paperbacks and just read, y'know, them.

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