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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Cattle-burp eco menace mastered - by oregano

Code Monkey
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You owe me

1 monitor and 1 keyboard.

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Code Monkey
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Cow burps aren't as bad as thought

The figures for meat production and greenhouse gasses are being challenged, resulting in this interesting (and ballsy) climbdown from no less than George Monbiot this week.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/sep/06/meat-production-veganism-deforestation

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Think tank rages at NHS' £700 bill for fertility clinic porn

Code Monkey
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Won't somebody think of the children?

So donors bat one off at home and bring it in themselves?

Public transport filled with men carrying jars of their own jizz. Won't somebody think of the children?

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NASA buys cutting-edge Cornish robot

Code Monkey
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Undercrackers

Doesn't the test of a real Scotsman involve the choice of undergarments when they wear skirts?

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Code Monkey
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Oooh-Arrr-2-D2

+3 internets for that. Great stuff!

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Drummers: Looking for a throbbing BumChum?

Code Monkey
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RSI

You'd get a very specialised form of RSI from that thing pounding your arse night after night on tour.

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Judge Dredd returns to the silver screen

Code Monkey
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Good luck

The last one would've been tolerable had Dredd had kept his helmet on. And had Dredd been played by anyone except Stallone (seriously: anyone - Pee Wee Herman, Thora Hird, even a trained seal would've delivered his lines better, anyone).

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Vulture 1 Mk 2 release mech prepped for testing

Code Monkey
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Boffin

Garden shed bodgery

Lovely garden shed bodgery, Reg. $DEITY bless Vulture 1

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New iPod crew: 'Phoney, futuristic, retro, doomed'

Code Monkey
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So much for the Nano

My 2nd gen Nano is getting a little crashy and I was pondering a replacement. From my POV Apple's ruined it. So my choices are previous gen Nano or non-Apple. The latter's favourite.

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Texan cooks up deep-fried Guinness

Code Monkey
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Texas Fried Frito Pie

I've no idea what that is, but I want one!

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Buyer's Guide: Netbooks

Code Monkey
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Good reviews

You've focussed on the keyboard, touchpad and battery life far more than the often small differences in benchmark scores. IMO these are far more important for my user experience with a computer of any kind.

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Scottish iSchool goes 100% iPad

Code Monkey
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And dashed good fun

Experiments like sodium in water (especially followed by potassium - which had me looking down the periodic table imagining even better pyrotechnics) and the thermite experiment are a great way for a science teacher to get the kids excited about the subject.

I pity these Scottish schoolids and their sanitised, dull science lessons.

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Bye-bye to bizarro bye-laws, says UK.gov

Code Monkey
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Hurry Chester folk

This could be your last chance to slaughter the Welsh after midnight!

Although I expect the UK murder prohibition would supersede the Chester by-law if anyone were ever to try it.

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Lady vicar tells Anglicans to learn from Black Sabbath

Code Monkey
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Noooo!

Xtian metal is shite. There are exceptions like early Trouble and the fact that Tom Araya's a Catholic.

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Twitpic pulls 50 Cent bum burger snap

Code Monkey
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Pic

In a way, I'm glad you posted the pic - my mind was boggling about what a bum burger might have been. Mind you I thought Kim Kardashian was some senior Nokia wonk. Popular culture? I've heard of it.

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Drunken employee pops cap in server

Code Monkey
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Drunk in charge of a gun

No wonder there are so many shootings in the US. I'd much rather live somewhere with decent gun control so I can get pissed in comparative safety.

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Internet, China and Russia destroying US, rock and roll

Code Monkey
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China-Russians?

Who the hell are the China-Russians?

They're 2 separate nations you ignorant hick bastard!

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Coca-Cola and Facebook get touchy with Israeli teens

Code Monkey
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I'm near a giant Coke bottle LOL

Meanwhile their friends got incredibly bored reading the most boring status updates ever.

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Undead Commodore 64 comes back for Christmas

Code Monkey
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Me

Depending on the price, me. I was a Spectrum lad in the 80s but the C64 has a keyboard I can see myself still using. I'd love one of these hooked up to the telly (CRT of course!), running Linux.

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Meego goes 3D

Code Monkey
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Nice, but what is it for?

I don't much see the point of mobile 3d but enjoyed the digs at Sadville all the same.

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Stockholm schoolgirls fined for bugging staff room

Code Monkey
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Correction: it would be nice if society makes up its mind...

...but no one does hypocrisy like soceity

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Microsoft ID guru slams 'duplicitous' Apple

Code Monkey
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Postcode + occupation

That'd be enough to identify me and most of my neighbours.

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Microsoft Windows glider crashes

Code Monkey
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This is going to require some serious patches to get up and running again.

While you wait, here's some spam to read

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Code Monkey
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Jobs

Had it been an Apple plane comically underperforming, Jobs would've blamed Adobe.

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Code Monkey
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Windows poor uptimes

Presumably the BSD teams are still up.

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Cleveland residents get RFID-equipped recycling

Code Monkey
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Ours too I think

We have one bin for paper; another for glass, tins and plastic. I'm pretty sure they all go into the same massive bin.

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NASA seeks soundtrack for final shuttle mission

Code Monkey
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True, but

I'm not aware of any songs specifically about the final countdown to a mission to the ISS.

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Code Monkey
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Surely

Surely it has to be the Final Countdown.

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Ads watchdog: PS3 graphics 'discernibly' better than Xbox

Code Monkey
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Either...

Either he works for Sony or needs to switch off his console and get out more.

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HMRC staff fired for racism over benefits

Code Monkey
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Wow

That's truly vile.

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Booze makes you clever, having none makes you stupid

Code Monkey
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No

Alcoholism is harmful, as it getting so wankered you can't get home or whatever.

In moderation it's fine and quite fun if you ask me.

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Ikea forecasts fluffy, fully teched kitchen of the future

Code Monkey
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My idea of hell

"Are you sure you should be baking another pie, Mr Code Monkey, sir?"

/me smashes the damned kitchen with hammers

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Hackers: 'ColdFusion bug more serious than Adobe says'

Code Monkey
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CFIDE etc.

You can set them them to be accessible from localhost only.

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Code Monkey
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It's an excellent platform

Cost has been CF's biggest problem, when most competing platforms are free.

In its favour is it's very quick to develop and maintain web apps. Scaling is great and server management is a breeze.

We're mostly a Java shop now but we've still got about 20 CF servers in production. Our or our customers' sysadmins look after Windows updates but the CF side is managed (very well) by developers.

I've very fond memories of ColdFusion but I'd not want to look for a job without something else on my CV

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Google dubs Oracle suit 'attack on Java community'

Code Monkey
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But...

You have to admit that Sun did become very bad at making money

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Canonical reveals next Ubuntu's touchy side

Code Monkey
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Much as I don't want to agree with that...

... I agree with that.

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Schmidt: Erase your identity to escape Google shame

Code Monkey
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Yes

I recommend Lamebook.

I don't work for them; I just like to spend 10 minutes a day laughing at the stupid.

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George Lucas names Star Wars Blu-ray release date

Code Monkey
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3 films

If he released the two trilogies separately the huge disparity would finally convince him that the last 3 (or first, as it were) films are utter shite.

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Alleged pirate fingered for filming film at Harrow flicks

Code Monkey
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Why?

You've got to admire him. No way could I sit through an entire Jenifer Aniston movie, no matter how much money I could make off the knock-off DVDs.

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Are plasma TVs killing radio?

Code Monkey
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Apart from the sport, I agree

It's good at sport, rubbish at everything else. I've really no interest in what the "Great British Public" has to say about anything. And if their phone-ins are anything to go by the country's full of knuckle-scrapers from Dagenham who blame immigration for everything.

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Code Monkey
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Me too

Telly is pretty much all shite. Radio 4 is fantastic. All IMO, of course.

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Code Monkey
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It's the 80s all over again

My ZX Spectrum used to play hell with Radio 1 when it was on Medium Wave.

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iTunes disses doctorates

Code Monkey
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I'm not sure when, but...

I'd take a guess that *legally* an unmarried girl becomes a spinster as soon as she is old enough to be married.

When my (then) girlfriend and I arranged our wedding, the registry office legal papers referred to her as a spinster. She wasn't happy at all.

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Code Monkey
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@Dr Anonymous Coward

I'm neither jealous nor ignorant. I'm just not in the least bit interested that you spent a few years extra at University, whatever it is you did.

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Code Monkey
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Take it from me

Even us lowly Misters know to steer clear of iTunes. Once was enough

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Code Monkey
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PhDs

Unless you're actually giving medical treatment to people, calling yourself "Dr" is just pretentious; as is sticking long strings of letters after your name.

Went to school a bit longer than the rest of us? So what. Get over your selves.

Yours

Mr Code Monkey

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US starts charging for online visa-waiver

Code Monkey
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Yes

When there are plenty of other countries with sane immigration and better gun control. I should say so.

There are bits of the US I'd like to see. In the meantime, Peru and elsewhere can have my tourist £££

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Channel 4 4OD to hit PS3

Code Monkey
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Great news!

Do C4 still have good programmes? As most of my telly watching is iPlayer on the PS3, I've lost touch

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Brian Blessed lends his tongue to TomTom

Code Monkey
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Pace notes

I've not got a sat nav and I'm not getting one until I find one with a stressed sounding Welshman reading the directions like rally pace notes.

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Alien spymobile menaces Street View

Code Monkey
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Or..

Or if they do, they'll not cough to it!

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