Posts by Code Monkey
1456 posts • joined Thursday 16th October 2008 09:53 GMT
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Posted in SCO rises from the dead (again)
Welcome back SCO!
Fair enough we're not short of laughs in our industry but as a comedy franchise, SCO is going for some sort of record. Maybe we should start calling them UNIX Academy.
Posted in Barnet and West Sussex breach DPA
Depressingly familiar
Not shooting the messenger here, Reg. You're right to report it but this kind of story is becoming depressingly familiar. I fear the planned public sector spending cuts will mean that data-handling training is only going to get worse.
Paper ain't broke - don't fix it
For £250 you could buy 40-50 paperbacks and just read, y'know, them.
Posted in Fanbois love sex toys: Official
Lilac shit?
I don't understand that at all. That makes me glad to be an English HTC-owner.
Posted in Fanbois love sex toys: Official
iRampant iRabbit 4.0
Be careful how you hold it as it may not work as well.
Posted in Fanbois love sex toys: Official
Shafted
Getting shafted by Apple obviously isn't enough for them
Now it can't make calls in daylight?
Or is this because of another software cock-up in the previous iPhone.
So glad I don't own one of these!
Posted in Feed curry to sheep, boffins suggest
Nice
Maybe it would give the lamb a nice flavour as well - a pre-mortem marinade?
Radio on iPlayer
"Listeners are discovering radio on iPlayer in spite of the BBC's help, not because of it."
They're not exactly hiding it. On the default BBC home page there are "Listen Live" (iPlayer) links to all national BBC stations.
U2
Yup. Bono's a complete bellend. Sting's another. One of the things I miss about the post-Facebook world is the pictures of Sting looking like a twat group - seriously FB users, search for it and be amazed!
Facebook Movie
"Frank just had a dump, lol" spun out to feature-length.
One to avoid methinks.
Oh there's a meerkat
Your best years are well behind you, Prince. I can't see many people giving a rat's jacksy about your latest wankramble.
Auntie doesn't get much right...
...but this is fantastic news.
There isn't anything else like it broadcasting in the UK. I love the feeling of being able to switch it on at any hour of the day, confident that there's quality music (especially music that I'd not heard of) to be had.
Save 6music!
Larks
Lots of tales about stringing them along for larks - which is exactly what I'd do. Bless you Reg readers, bless you all!
Crap reception
Crap reception unless you hold it in a special way or put an expensive rubber band around it. Pull the other one, Jobs.
"wank boutique"
[applauds]
Sounds like
Authentic frontier gibberish
BBC changes photo on website
Slow news day?
This stopped being funny 2 stories ago.
Posted in IPVision FetchTV SmartBox 8000 DVR
They want my credit card details?
Then they can chuff right off.
The Chartered Institute for IT - Enabling Waffle Waffle Waffle
The British Computer Society is a fantastic name. A great example of plain English. The proposed rebranding sounds like it was dreamt up by a committee of MBA waving recent graduates who couldn't accomplish any IT task more difficult than opening an email attachment.
Wonderfully pointless
Add to that a little rapturous applause from an overheating IT office in the Midlands, too. Well done Finnish nutter!
Simple solution
Just make your child put some damned clothes on!
How to get an Applephobe to change his mind...
...send in the lawyers. So in the spirit of my enemy's enemy is my friend: go Steve!
Posted in Oklahoma granny sues cops over tasering
Wow
Who the hell are these chimps that can't handle an 86-year-old without resorting to a Taser?
Stop the world, I want to get off.
Backdoor probe
May I be the 1057th person to congratulate you on your use of the phrase "backdoor probe"?
Posted in England versus Germany: Quaff real ale
Heh
My colleague tried that on Wednesday. He was still working out which permutations meant we avoided Germany when I told him they'd played on Wednesday night and won the group.
Posted in England versus Germany: Quaff real ale
Hops
Not just for the hops, not just for the Germany game - lager is pish anyway.
Mine's the one with the bottle of Holdens Golden Glow in the pocket
Posted in Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip
Like the puck mouse no doubt:
Pretty but painful for the larger handed gentleman (or gentlewoman) to use for any length of time.
Posted in Motorola punts mega huge Droid phone
Nope
I reckon the Canadian "punt" would apply very well to this phone, eh?
Trstrank: 8.3?
Any company still making their software components conform to 8.3 is not to be trsted.
Posted in Redback spiders provoke BAE lock-down
Hairspray
Hairspray + lighter make a lovely flamethrower. I was once nearly thrown out of a niteclub (SIC) for demonstrating this.
Posted in Redback spiders provoke BAE lock-down
Antidote
I'm guessing that's because they have antidote. I doubt Preston's hospitals are as well stocked as those in Oz.
PS I like spiders - they eat flies. My enemy's enemy and all that.
Posted in Android apps: Shifty little bleeders
I agree
I was quite alarmed to see the very first game I wanted to download from the Android marketplace wanted access to the dialler. I decided it could fuck off.
The warnings are there but I'm sure there are a lot of people that won't understand or won't care.
Prepared statements...
...are exactly as secure and a lot easier to read/write/understand - especially in a hurry.
Posted in Twitter on a ZX Spectrum
Top nostalgia - thanks Reg
Ah happy days indeed. Hours of typing line after line of BASIC from C&VG (hoping not to forget to save before my Spectrum overheated) then still hours more debugging their shoddy code*. By the time I'd done this 3 or 4 times I could more or less write simple games for myself.
OK iPlayer, YouTube and whathaveyou are all good but IT (sorry, computing) was never as exciting as back in the 80s!
* I never did work out whether this was the Meccano way - put a few mistakes in so people learn; or just cos the fellas who wrote these games weren't very good.
Freeing up valuable cop time
A few people in this country need guns, others want to have them. I reckon more time spent checking both groups are people who should have them is far from wasted.
Civilised?
I really loathe this definition of the West as civilised/other parts of the world as uncivilised.
For a start it's a distinction that's been used over millennia to justify all manner of atrocities, like the genocides of aboriginal Australians and native Americans. More recently it's that sort of thinking that's allowed the vileness we saw in Abu Grahib.
Secondly it's bollocks. Ask an assylum seeker, forced to survive on Red Cross food vouchers in "civilised" Britain.
Linux > Ubuntu
And better distros update with much less drama
Posted in Killer piranha stalk Folkestone pond
Piranha
Piranha are the Chuck Norrises of the fish world. Of course they can drag his line 500 yards in a 200 foot pond.
Don't f... ...irahna with pirahna
I wouldn't bother
It's a phone. Just a phone.
You don't need a new phone, you want a new phone.
There is a difference.
This also applies to new Blackberries, HTCs and whatever else you care to mention.
Posted in Philips SHQ3000 washable earphones
Look like a good bet
I find that "gym earphones" tend to be a combination of grossly uncomfortable and too fragile. Has someone finally got it right?
Posted in Fujifilm Finepix HS10 bridge camera
"There’s even one in the iPhone 4"
Unless the iPhone 4's camera is a massive improvement on its older brothers' cameras, this is not a huge endorsement.
Yup
E.g. Tesco regularly invite me into their stores (whenever I watch telly) and they don't lock up their sprouts. That doesn't mean if I help myself to a nice bag of free sprouts that I can get away with it. If spotted I'll be done for shoplifting (sproutlifting?).
Just in time
I got my HTC Desire and "unlimited" data plan last week. Just in time*
* Just in time for O2 - if they'd denied me I'd have gone to Orange**
** I'd have swallowed their foolish animal tariff names for "unlimited" data
