* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

US forces drop dead drug-poison killer mice from helicopters

Code Monkey

Ha

Muphry strikes again

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Lettuce head e-fit draws a blank

Code Monkey

"have not received a single phone call"

Not a single phone call? I doubt that. They're just not counting the ones that are taking the piss.

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Blighty's carriers to field Windows Phone 7

Code Monkey

It's the handsets

They're late to market but the Windows name will encourage some, deter very few (informed groups like us Reg commentards excepted) and be a matter of complete indifference to the majority.

If there's a pretty enough handset, Windows Phone will be a success.

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Stallman storms in on Oz software patent conflab

Code Monkey

For once...

For once RMS seems not to be foaming at the mouth. Good luck in sticking to that, RMS!

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Code Monkey

Lighten up

At least it's not "spokeswonk".

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Thieves jam key-fob lock signals in mystery car thefts

Code Monkey

Presumably...

Presumably the central locking works if you do it in the old-fashioned way (key in the lock, rather than the plipper).

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Police issue lettuce e-fit

Code Monkey

Keith Flint

It's Keith Flint from the Prodigy

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Interpol chief impersonated on Facebook

Code Monkey

Really?

People give information about current Interpol investigations over Facebook?

Blimey

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Steve Jobs chops student hack down to size

Code Monkey

I'm no Jobs fan...

... but boo fucking hoo, student lady.

"Our goals do not include helping you get a good grade." a cracker from His Infernal Majesty

I'm still never buying another iPod though

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'Unicorn' captured in remote Laos mountain forests

Code Monkey

2-horned unicorn?

Presumably it's also a four legged biped.

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Podgy Googlers get shrunken plates

Code Monkey

GPlates

Presumably these are still in Beta?

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Pope makes central London no-go zone for BT engineers

Code Monkey

Lazy Bastards

Any excuse!

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Spandau Ballet get the Tourette's karaoke treatment

Code Monkey

"not a laughing matter"

Nope.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry for those who suffer for Tourette's but it's bloody funny.

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Twitter airport bomb joker loses second job

Code Monkey

Title

That's made my (previously crappy) day

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Microsoft delivers Google Chrome IE9 beta

Code Monkey

chrome (small c)

The word chrome refers to the browser UI (i.e. everything that's not the page you're browsing).

Just in case you're still struggling, the "i.e." I used does not refer to Internet Explorer.

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Naked woman demands cab ride to Michigan

Code Monkey

"I blame Gordon Brown"

Impressive Brown-loathery there, Titus.

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Transport Dept's answer to embarrassing, cancelled IT projects?

Code Monkey

"often"

The word "often" suggested to me that Labour were disingenuous, while the SNP et al weren't.

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Ubuntu man responds to GNOME 'coattail' claims

Code Monkey

That wouldn't be popular

Dropping KDE would be a terrible idea. Just look at Slackware dropping GNOME. It's years since Patrick Volkerding did that and the moaning resumes with every new point release.

Were Shuttleworth to drop KDE he'd be giving plenty of ammunition to Ubuntu's detractors and inviting crap reviews. He's too much of a pragmatist to do that.

(I don't use Ubuntu BTW)

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Brits don't want in-flight calling

Code Monkey

Yours, too

It's more that we don't want to listen to some inconsiderate arsewit bellowing every tedious detail of their dull, dull, dull lives into a phone.

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Code Monkey

More in-flight twattery

As if screaming kids and drunken Brits aren't enough; now we'll have to sit through high volume bores bellowing into their phones.

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PayPal update email 'violates own anti-phishing advice'

Code Monkey

Me too

I ignored the link in the email and looked for the changes from their home page.

Let's be careful out there.

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YouGov's voluntary stalkware unpicked

Code Monkey

It does have and Add/Remove Programs entry

From the article: "It does add an entry to add/remove programs."

However, the first 2 reasons you give would be enough for me to decline this spyware.

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Cattle-burp eco menace mastered - by oregano

Code Monkey

You owe me

1 monitor and 1 keyboard.

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Code Monkey

Cow burps aren't as bad as thought

The figures for meat production and greenhouse gasses are being challenged, resulting in this interesting (and ballsy) climbdown from no less than George Monbiot this week.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/sep/06/meat-production-veganism-deforestation

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Think tank rages at NHS' £700 bill for fertility clinic porn

Code Monkey

Won't somebody think of the children?

So donors bat one off at home and bring it in themselves?

Public transport filled with men carrying jars of their own jizz. Won't somebody think of the children?

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NASA buys cutting-edge Cornish robot

Code Monkey

Undercrackers

Doesn't the test of a real Scotsman involve the choice of undergarments when they wear skirts?

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Code Monkey

Oooh-Arrr-2-D2

+3 internets for that. Great stuff!

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Drummers: Looking for a throbbing BumChum?

Code Monkey

RSI

You'd get a very specialised form of RSI from that thing pounding your arse night after night on tour.

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Judge Dredd returns to the silver screen

Code Monkey

Good luck

The last one would've been tolerable had Dredd had kept his helmet on. And had Dredd been played by anyone except Stallone (seriously: anyone - Pee Wee Herman, Thora Hird, even a trained seal would've delivered his lines better, anyone).

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Vulture 1 Mk 2 release mech prepped for testing

Code Monkey
Boffin

Garden shed bodgery

Lovely garden shed bodgery, Reg. $DEITY bless Vulture 1

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New iPod crew: 'Phoney, futuristic, retro, doomed'

Code Monkey

So much for the Nano

My 2nd gen Nano is getting a little crashy and I was pondering a replacement. From my POV Apple's ruined it. So my choices are previous gen Nano or non-Apple. The latter's favourite.

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Texan cooks up deep-fried Guinness

Code Monkey

Texas Fried Frito Pie

I've no idea what that is, but I want one!

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Buyer's Guide: Netbooks

Code Monkey

Good reviews

You've focussed on the keyboard, touchpad and battery life far more than the often small differences in benchmark scores. IMO these are far more important for my user experience with a computer of any kind.

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Scottish iSchool goes 100% iPad

Code Monkey

And dashed good fun

Experiments like sodium in water (especially followed by potassium - which had me looking down the periodic table imagining even better pyrotechnics) and the thermite experiment are a great way for a science teacher to get the kids excited about the subject.

I pity these Scottish schoolids and their sanitised, dull science lessons.

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Bye-bye to bizarro bye-laws, says UK.gov

Code Monkey

Hurry Chester folk

This could be your last chance to slaughter the Welsh after midnight!

Although I expect the UK murder prohibition would supersede the Chester by-law if anyone were ever to try it.

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Lady vicar tells Anglicans to learn from Black Sabbath

Code Monkey

Noooo!

Xtian metal is shite. There are exceptions like early Trouble and the fact that Tom Araya's a Catholic.

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Twitpic pulls 50 Cent bum burger snap

Code Monkey

Pic

In a way, I'm glad you posted the pic - my mind was boggling about what a bum burger might have been. Mind you I thought Kim Kardashian was some senior Nokia wonk. Popular culture? I've heard of it.

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Drunken employee pops cap in server

Code Monkey

Drunk in charge of a gun

No wonder there are so many shootings in the US. I'd much rather live somewhere with decent gun control so I can get pissed in comparative safety.

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Internet, China and Russia destroying US, rock and roll

Code Monkey

China-Russians?

Who the hell are the China-Russians?

They're 2 separate nations you ignorant hick bastard!

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Coca-Cola and Facebook get touchy with Israeli teens

Code Monkey

I'm near a giant Coke bottle LOL

Meanwhile their friends got incredibly bored reading the most boring status updates ever.

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Undead Commodore 64 comes back for Christmas

Code Monkey

Me

Depending on the price, me. I was a Spectrum lad in the 80s but the C64 has a keyboard I can see myself still using. I'd love one of these hooked up to the telly (CRT of course!), running Linux.

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Meego goes 3D

Code Monkey

Nice, but what is it for?

I don't much see the point of mobile 3d but enjoyed the digs at Sadville all the same.

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Stockholm schoolgirls fined for bugging staff room

Code Monkey

Correction: it would be nice if society makes up its mind...

...but no one does hypocrisy like soceity

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Microsoft ID guru slams 'duplicitous' Apple

Code Monkey

Postcode + occupation

That'd be enough to identify me and most of my neighbours.

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Microsoft Windows glider crashes

Code Monkey

This is going to require some serious patches to get up and running again.

While you wait, here's some spam to read

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Code Monkey

Jobs

Had it been an Apple plane comically underperforming, Jobs would've blamed Adobe.

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Code Monkey

Windows poor uptimes

Presumably the BSD teams are still up.

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Cleveland residents get RFID-equipped recycling

Code Monkey

Ours too I think

We have one bin for paper; another for glass, tins and plastic. I'm pretty sure they all go into the same massive bin.

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NASA seeks soundtrack for final shuttle mission

Code Monkey

True, but

I'm not aware of any songs specifically about the final countdown to a mission to the ISS.

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Code Monkey

Surely

Surely it has to be the Final Countdown.

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