* Posts by Code Monkey

1559 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

eBay Meg still chasing California's top job

Code Monkey

Governor Jerry Brown

Of California Uber Alles fame?

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Mozilla upsets net world order with Bing on Firefox

Code Monkey

Opera

Always first with the dubious features :o)

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Code Monkey

That's your choice

It's also mine.

If Moz wants to offer another search engine that's fine with me. I'll choose not to use it.

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Brits not buying into Freeview HD

Code Monkey

Also

I agree. Also the people who are more interested in telly, those most likely to give a rodent's hindquarters about HD, are also most likely to pay for Sky.

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Android phone auto reverts jailbreaks

Code Monkey

Cost sales

It'll cost them A FEW sales from hardcore geeks. Most consumers buy a phone according to how pretty it is.

Downvote me if you like but that's how people choose phones.

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Man enraged by sagging pants pops cap in teen's ass

Code Monkey

The 51

If it all gets a bit too much, get off at the Bartons Arms for a lovely pint and some peace and quiet. You could even grab a bloody good Thai meal.

Damn I'm hungry.

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Code Monkey

Sarcasm

That last line saved you from a (gasp) downvote.

Yes kids in saggy kecks look stupid but some people need to learn it's none of their 'kin business.

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Amazon Kindle 3 e-book reader

Code Monkey

Re: how much?

I've been filling these fora with similar comments, but the price is falling. Once we're seeing decent features for sub £100 I'll become more interested.

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McCanns join CEOP quango row

Code Monkey

True

The lunatics have taken over the assylum. What's worse is the Daily Mail/Express reading mouth-breathers that make up this country can't see the problem with that.

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Legendary steampunk computer 'should be built' - programmer

Code Monkey

"Needs more coal"

Which has often been my standard reply to a ticket for any of our older production servers.

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Code Monkey

Wrong

That has made my afternoon. Tonight I will raise a glass of Mr Shepherd's ale to the memory of Mr Babbage!

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Code Monkey

Yes

Rather like the retired railway staff that keep the non-Analytical steam engines going. I'm sure there'd be plenty of geriatroboffins who'd love a go at building one of these.

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Code Monkey

By jingo we should build it!

And insist that everyone who wants to program the beast should wear a stovepipe hat and grow appropriately fearsome Victorian facial hair.

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Spuds for laptop fraudsters strike in Huntingdon

Code Monkey

Sorry you got ripped off but...

...buying a laptop in the street, or down the pub for that matter, is fncking stupid. Don't do it.

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£1bn+ Royal Navy destroyer finally fires 'disgraceful' weapon

Code Monkey

Windows for Warships

Glad I live pretty much as inland as you can get in the UK

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Android is turning a profit for Google

Code Monkey

In my case he has a point

It was only the linuxy Android that made me take an interest in smartphones. Otherwise I'd just have got another, smaller dumbphone.

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Diary of an Overflow Addict

Code Monkey

Clearly I've been wasting my time...

...chasing upvotes on the Reg Fora

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Budget Mono Laser Printers

Code Monkey

A timely set of reviews

Just as I was looking for an el cheapo laser printer.

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Fruit bat fellatio team crowned Ig Nobel laureate

Code Monkey

Why?

I don't ask why, I just admire its magnificence.

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Google menaces penguins with Street View Antarctica

Code Monkey

Holiday in Antarctica

It's a holiday in Antarctica, where there's nothing but the snow

A holiday in Antarctica, it's the place you want to gooooooo

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Samsung E60 e-book reader

Code Monkey

"Probably just me"

Nope. £200 buys a lot of books, even shiny new hardbacks. And you can put them on shelves and make yourself look clever. The book ain't broke and I've no plans to fix it.

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Code Monkey

Amundsen

..."is a wanker". That made this review worthwhile for me. Nice one!

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2 out of 3 Android apps use private data 'suspiciously'

Code Monkey

"And you base this assertion on what evidence exactly?"

I didn't assert that but I agree. I base my agreement on years of badly written apps, stack overflows, Slammer and other comedic security gaffes.

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Kia POPs out see-through OLED dash readout

Code Monkey

"when he or she glances down to check it"

Surely "when SHE glances down..."

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Jaguar celebrates 75th year with e-supercar concept

Code Monkey

Beautiful

That's beautiful. They should make it.

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Apple TV stripdown reveals mystery solder pads

Code Monkey

B&Q

They can indeed mix them for you. Keeping a straight face while doing so may be asking too much

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Monkey squad sent in to secure Commonwealth Games

Code Monkey

I'm actually going to watch the Commonwealth Games

The comedy potential is increasing daily.

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iPhone fanbois run off road in CoolBrand race

Code Monkey

I guess I'm not cool then

Own a Ford car? Check

Own a non-fruity phone? Check

Think Heston Blumenthal's an arse? Check

So I'm not cool. I can live with that.

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Prosecutor resigns over sexting spree to crime victim

Code Monkey

All I can say is...

About bleedin time.

How arrogant do you have to be to think you can behave like this* and keep a very public job?

* well, get caught behaving like this.

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UN appoints alien liaison boffin

Code Monkey

I couldn't imagine a worse job

I fear our alien ambassador will spend far too much time dealing with slack-jawed Americans claiming to have had their botties probed by E.T.

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Vodafone throws cash at Cricket betting and loyalty card apps

Code Monkey

Great timing

Great time to be partnering a cricket spot-betting concern. Well done Voda!

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Customers paying more and putting up with mobes for longer

Code Monkey

20 months

Lucky basts. Try getting a contract for less than 24 months in the UK. It'll be PAYG for me when this on expires

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Fraunhofer boffins develop 'Titanium foam' endoskeletal implants

Code Monkey

Nice

Nice to see some technology advances that don't have me reaching for a tinfoil hat. Congratulations to the metallo-osseo-bofiins.

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Coalition's quango hit list revealed

Code Monkey

Advisory Committee on Conscientious Objectors

I'm going to end up thinking that these cuts are going too far, but...

Why do we have an Advisory Committee on Conscientious Objectors in a country with no conscription? Or did I just fall for some premature April Fools gag?

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US forces drop dead drug-poison killer mice from helicopters

Code Monkey

Ha

Muphry strikes again

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Lettuce head e-fit draws a blank

Code Monkey

"have not received a single phone call"

Not a single phone call? I doubt that. They're just not counting the ones that are taking the piss.

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Blighty's carriers to field Windows Phone 7

Code Monkey

It's the handsets

They're late to market but the Windows name will encourage some, deter very few (informed groups like us Reg commentards excepted) and be a matter of complete indifference to the majority.

If there's a pretty enough handset, Windows Phone will be a success.

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Stallman storms in on Oz software patent conflab

Code Monkey

For once...

For once RMS seems not to be foaming at the mouth. Good luck in sticking to that, RMS!

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Code Monkey

Lighten up

At least it's not "spokeswonk".

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Thieves jam key-fob lock signals in mystery car thefts

Code Monkey

Presumably...

Presumably the central locking works if you do it in the old-fashioned way (key in the lock, rather than the plipper).

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Police issue lettuce e-fit

Code Monkey

Keith Flint

It's Keith Flint from the Prodigy

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Interpol chief impersonated on Facebook

Code Monkey

Really?

People give information about current Interpol investigations over Facebook?

Blimey

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Steve Jobs chops student hack down to size

Code Monkey

I'm no Jobs fan...

... but boo fucking hoo, student lady.

"Our goals do not include helping you get a good grade." a cracker from His Infernal Majesty

I'm still never buying another iPod though

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'Unicorn' captured in remote Laos mountain forests

Code Monkey

2-horned unicorn?

Presumably it's also a four legged biped.

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Podgy Googlers get shrunken plates

Code Monkey

GPlates

Presumably these are still in Beta?

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Pope makes central London no-go zone for BT engineers

Code Monkey

Lazy Bastards

Any excuse!

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Spandau Ballet get the Tourette's karaoke treatment

Code Monkey

"not a laughing matter"

Nope.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry for those who suffer for Tourette's but it's bloody funny.

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Twitter airport bomb joker loses second job

Code Monkey

Title

That's made my (previously crappy) day

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Microsoft delivers Google Chrome IE9 beta

Code Monkey

chrome (small c)

The word chrome refers to the browser UI (i.e. everything that's not the page you're browsing).

Just in case you're still struggling, the "i.e." I used does not refer to Internet Explorer.

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Naked woman demands cab ride to Michigan

Code Monkey

"I blame Gordon Brown"

Impressive Brown-loathery there, Titus.

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