* Posts by Code Monkey

1572 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Quango bonfire torches websites

Code Monkey

Some good, some bad

BNFL is a strange one, given the broad Tory support for the next generation nuclear power stations. Presumably the British taxpayers will pay the French to do it.

Something about the Competition Commission in a merger makes me smile.

I can't argue with the P45s heading to the Advisory Board on the Registration of Homeopathic Products and Herbal Medicines Advisory Committee. Presumably they'll dilute their giros with water and spin it out indefinitely. OK it's not nice to laugh at people losing their jobs but we shouldn't have been paying these charlatans in the first place.

And well done for keeping the BBC World Service. Given how far these bastards are up Murdoch's arse, this is a pleasant surprise.

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Germans develop sleepy-driver car 'warning' system

Code Monkey

Interesting

It'll be difficult to callibrate as drviers sit in different positions depending on how knackered they are.

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Sony Reader PRS-350 Pocket Edition

Code Monkey

Rotation, Dictionaries and Roald Amundsen

Thinking on how I read "proper" books in bed, the lack of auto-rotation sounds like a bonus to me.

The addition of tranlsation dictionaries suddenly makes this whole e-reader idea a lot more interesting.

Finally no "Roald Amundsen is a wanker"? I feel let down.

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HP accuses Hurd of repeated lying

Code Monkey

Oh dear

Is hooting and wailing in the press about lying execs really going to do wonders for that share price?

I'm no IT exec, maybe it is...

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Ubuntu 10.10: date with destiny missed

Code Monkey

I disagree

Every Windows problem is a great reason to use any flavour of linux....

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Code Monkey

+1

OK I'm fond of banging the linux drum, it's true but +1 for that.

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Code Monkey

Yup

I'm no Ubuntu fan but they're right on this score. Those users who give a rat's hindquarters that their packages are completely "free as in speech" have Debian and other distros. Meanwhile the rest of us that don't think that MP3, binary drivers or whatever are ideological monstrosities can get on with our lives.

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Code Monkey

I want 2 partitions

I've always used 2 partitions and would continue to do so were I to use Ubuntu. It might be fine for most of you but some users' hardware causes the upgrade to fail. This happens with every version.

Of course I'd make a backup before upgrading but having /home on a separate partition means I can reinstall without having to restore. Much less dicking about.

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Robot teddy bears attack Alzheimer's

Code Monkey

Conkers

So where are their unfeasably large bollocks?

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Code Monkey

Deliberate?

I thought it was a deliberate "looser".

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Code Monkey

If I ever get Alzheimer's...

...do not get me a sinister talking teddy bear!

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Tesla Motors: Our cars don't burst into flame, but our emails do

Code Monkey

Hmm

I bet more women have been pulled in F458s though.

Don't ask me, I drive a Fiesta

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Code Monkey

(iv) Sentence case

THE LACK OF CAPS LOCK SHOUTING WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTING, TOO. FUNNY ALL THE SAME, THOUGH!

WELL DONE TESLA, ANOTHER OWN GOAL!

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eBay Meg still chasing California's top job

Code Monkey

Governor Jerry Brown

Of California Uber Alles fame?

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Mozilla upsets net world order with Bing on Firefox

Code Monkey

Opera

Always first with the dubious features :o)

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Code Monkey

That's your choice

It's also mine.

If Moz wants to offer another search engine that's fine with me. I'll choose not to use it.

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Brits not buying into Freeview HD

Code Monkey

Also

I agree. Also the people who are more interested in telly, those most likely to give a rodent's hindquarters about HD, are also most likely to pay for Sky.

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Android phone auto reverts jailbreaks

Code Monkey

Cost sales

It'll cost them A FEW sales from hardcore geeks. Most consumers buy a phone according to how pretty it is.

Downvote me if you like but that's how people choose phones.

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Man enraged by sagging pants pops cap in teen's ass

Code Monkey

The 51

If it all gets a bit too much, get off at the Bartons Arms for a lovely pint and some peace and quiet. You could even grab a bloody good Thai meal.

Damn I'm hungry.

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Code Monkey

Sarcasm

That last line saved you from a (gasp) downvote.

Yes kids in saggy kecks look stupid but some people need to learn it's none of their 'kin business.

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Amazon Kindle 3 e-book reader

Code Monkey

Re: how much?

I've been filling these fora with similar comments, but the price is falling. Once we're seeing decent features for sub £100 I'll become more interested.

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McCanns join CEOP quango row

Code Monkey

True

The lunatics have taken over the assylum. What's worse is the Daily Mail/Express reading mouth-breathers that make up this country can't see the problem with that.

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Legendary steampunk computer 'should be built' - programmer

Code Monkey

"Needs more coal"

Which has often been my standard reply to a ticket for any of our older production servers.

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Code Monkey

Wrong

That has made my afternoon. Tonight I will raise a glass of Mr Shepherd's ale to the memory of Mr Babbage!

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Code Monkey

Yes

Rather like the retired railway staff that keep the non-Analytical steam engines going. I'm sure there'd be plenty of geriatroboffins who'd love a go at building one of these.

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Code Monkey

By jingo we should build it!

And insist that everyone who wants to program the beast should wear a stovepipe hat and grow appropriately fearsome Victorian facial hair.

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Spuds for laptop fraudsters strike in Huntingdon

Code Monkey

Sorry you got ripped off but...

...buying a laptop in the street, or down the pub for that matter, is fncking stupid. Don't do it.

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£1bn+ Royal Navy destroyer finally fires 'disgraceful' weapon

Code Monkey

Windows for Warships

Glad I live pretty much as inland as you can get in the UK

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Android is turning a profit for Google

Code Monkey

In my case he has a point

It was only the linuxy Android that made me take an interest in smartphones. Otherwise I'd just have got another, smaller dumbphone.

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Diary of an Overflow Addict

Code Monkey

Clearly I've been wasting my time...

...chasing upvotes on the Reg Fora

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Budget Mono Laser Printers

Code Monkey

A timely set of reviews

Just as I was looking for an el cheapo laser printer.

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Fruit bat fellatio team crowned Ig Nobel laureate

Code Monkey

Why?

I don't ask why, I just admire its magnificence.

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Google menaces penguins with Street View Antarctica

Code Monkey

Holiday in Antarctica

It's a holiday in Antarctica, where there's nothing but the snow

A holiday in Antarctica, it's the place you want to gooooooo

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Samsung E60 e-book reader

Code Monkey

"Probably just me"

Nope. £200 buys a lot of books, even shiny new hardbacks. And you can put them on shelves and make yourself look clever. The book ain't broke and I've no plans to fix it.

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Code Monkey

Amundsen

..."is a wanker". That made this review worthwhile for me. Nice one!

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2 out of 3 Android apps use private data 'suspiciously'

Code Monkey

"And you base this assertion on what evidence exactly?"

I didn't assert that but I agree. I base my agreement on years of badly written apps, stack overflows, Slammer and other comedic security gaffes.

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Kia POPs out see-through OLED dash readout

Code Monkey

"when he or she glances down to check it"

Surely "when SHE glances down..."

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Jaguar celebrates 75th year with e-supercar concept

Code Monkey

Beautiful

That's beautiful. They should make it.

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Apple TV stripdown reveals mystery solder pads

Code Monkey

B&Q

They can indeed mix them for you. Keeping a straight face while doing so may be asking too much

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Monkey squad sent in to secure Commonwealth Games

Code Monkey

I'm actually going to watch the Commonwealth Games

The comedy potential is increasing daily.

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iPhone fanbois run off road in CoolBrand race

Code Monkey

I guess I'm not cool then

Own a Ford car? Check

Own a non-fruity phone? Check

Think Heston Blumenthal's an arse? Check

So I'm not cool. I can live with that.

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Prosecutor resigns over sexting spree to crime victim

Code Monkey

All I can say is...

About bleedin time.

How arrogant do you have to be to think you can behave like this* and keep a very public job?

* well, get caught behaving like this.

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UN appoints alien liaison boffin

Code Monkey

I couldn't imagine a worse job

I fear our alien ambassador will spend far too much time dealing with slack-jawed Americans claiming to have had their botties probed by E.T.

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Vodafone throws cash at Cricket betting and loyalty card apps

Code Monkey

Great timing

Great time to be partnering a cricket spot-betting concern. Well done Voda!

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Customers paying more and putting up with mobes for longer

Code Monkey

20 months

Lucky basts. Try getting a contract for less than 24 months in the UK. It'll be PAYG for me when this on expires

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Fraunhofer boffins develop 'Titanium foam' endoskeletal implants

Code Monkey

Nice

Nice to see some technology advances that don't have me reaching for a tinfoil hat. Congratulations to the metallo-osseo-bofiins.

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Coalition's quango hit list revealed

Code Monkey

Advisory Committee on Conscientious Objectors

I'm going to end up thinking that these cuts are going too far, but...

Why do we have an Advisory Committee on Conscientious Objectors in a country with no conscription? Or did I just fall for some premature April Fools gag?

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US forces drop dead drug-poison killer mice from helicopters

Code Monkey

Ha

Muphry strikes again

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Lettuce head e-fit draws a blank

Code Monkey

"have not received a single phone call"

Not a single phone call? I doubt that. They're just not counting the ones that are taking the piss.

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Blighty's carriers to field Windows Phone 7

Code Monkey

It's the handsets

They're late to market but the Windows name will encourage some, deter very few (informed groups like us Reg commentards excepted) and be a matter of complete indifference to the majority.

If there's a pretty enough handset, Windows Phone will be a success.

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