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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Frenchman cuffed for naughty lip-slip email to MEP

Code Monkey
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"displaying contempt towards a public servant"

If they ever introduce that law in Blighty I'll turn myself in. And you can throw away the key.

On a serious note, "anonymous" emails aren't big or clever and I'm not that sorry this tool's getting banged up.

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Highest point on the Moon found: Higher than Mount Everest

Code Monkey
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Pint

Selenean Summit

Superb, Lewis. Have a beer.

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LOST Vulture One PARIS spaceplane FOUND!!!

Code Monkey
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My thoughts exactly

It'd have been a goner if it wasn't for that brave, brave Playmonut

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MYSTERY of vanished PARIS spaceplane, playmonaut

Code Monkey
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Won't somebody think of the playmonaut?

Crossing em for you, brave plastic wee man

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Boffins mount campaign against France's official kilogramme

Code Monkey
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Good call

Thanks for the metric system and all. It whizzes on pounds and ounces from a great height.

Now it's time to let go before the French "kilo" becomes as anachronistic as the comedy weights and measures it replaced.

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Oracle goes in hard on Google Java suit

Code Monkey
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SCO vs Linux 2

So having watched SCO jizz their company up the wall, Larry's decided that's the way he wants to go?

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Vulture One PARIS spaceplane telemetry LIVE ONLINE

Code Monkey
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The plane

Ah. Not too impressive a flight (plummet?), then. Still it was fun following it on Twitter. I'm not registering though, I've no desire to become one of you twats

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Ms. Gates: 'Bill does not use a Mac'

Code Monkey
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I'd prefer an MP3 player

Seriously. I like Sabbath but no way do I want Ozzy in my house.

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Code Monkey
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Linux is a cancer?

OK I know that wasn't billg but I bet whoever it was that did say it didn't earn a public bollocking the next morning.

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Code Monkey
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I wouldn't trust MS Tardis

It'd just take you back to the really shitty part of the 70s (i.e. most of it).

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Code Monkey
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Pity the litte Gateses

All that money and you have to settle for a Zune!

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Facebook pages very much public, even when set as private

Code Monkey
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Yes

Personally I draw the line at my status updates, photos, etc. leaking out.

The fact that I'm discoverable is something I can live with. In fact it's one of the key advantages of Facebook. If you (not you personally, Letters to the Editor, I just loathe the word "one") don't like the discoverability you really should stick to email.

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EU to lift flight ban on carry-on liquids

Code Monkey
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Expect lobbying

I'm expecting opposition from the shops by the departure gates.

Bottle of water sir? That'll be an arm and a leg. It's for your own safety, sir.

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Drug-addled scooter twock teen hit with bizarre crypto ban

Code Monkey
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"providing he can find a really insecure computer"

There's an old Win98 box in the office that he'd be welcome to.

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Vulture 1 spaceplane launch countdown on hold

Code Monkey
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"donkey transport"

As you're launching from Spain, I'm assuming that's not a joke.

¡Buen viaje Paris!

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Microsoft sings Happy Birthday to Windows 7

Code Monkey
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I rather like it

By preference I use linux but I use Windows 7 for work. It's not perfect but, after working out how to turn off the worst excesses of the GUI, I rather it. It's stable, so far, and gets out of the way of my doing my job. Nice one MS

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Apple threatens Java with death on the Mac

Code Monkey
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And this is THE REGISTER

Which is read by DEVELOPERS and other IT PROFESSIONALS who might have A BIT MORE INTEREST in the matter than your average CONSUMER.

I'm off for a lie down after all that MORONIC CAPITALISATION

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Easynet axes 1 in 20 staff

Code Monkey
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Easynet

I used to use them for dialup internet back in the day, and hosted a few of my early sites with them. Their support was good (you'd usually talk to the same person each time - try that one BT!) and they had some good ideas like FreeNetName (remember them?).

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List-makers battle to keep football fixture lists protection

Code Monkey
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Small wonder

Small wonder crowds are shrinking

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Code Monkey
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Nicknames

Has anyone ever tried publishing them as nicknames:

Gooners vs Bin-dippers, Sat 3pm

Citeh vs Spuds Sun 1pm

etc.

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Osborne details painful cuts for UK

Code Monkey
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Cameron

Putting the "n" in "cuts" (nicked off the News Quiz and repeated endlessly).

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TomTom adds Star Wars voices to iPhone app

Code Monkey
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Tha's got for't get satnav

I was holding out for a stressed sounding Welsh voice doing the directions in the style of rally pace notes. Yoda is a good enough second prize to consider trading in my sense of direction for satnav.

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Boxee box to come to Blighty

Code Monkey
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It does look nice, though

I agree it's not the most practical of shapes but it is pretty. I've got a PS3 though, so won't bother buying one.

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Vatican confirms Simpsons as Catholics

Code Monkey
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Babelfish

Given most Catholic outpourings start as gibberish, I'd be interested to see what Babelfish made of them. Not interested enough to wait for it to load, of course...

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Code Monkey
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Yup

It was Flanders though, so a heretical Wossnametarian baptism (from a Catholic POV).

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Top cyber crime cop lied under oath, says judge

Code Monkey
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Another lesson in life

ACAB - or at least enough of them are that the few decent ones haven't got a fucking chance.

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Microsoft steers OEMs away from putting Phone 7 on Tablets

Code Monkey
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You're right...

...up to a point. It's true most consumers don't give a monkey's about the source; nor, I think, do some manufacturers.

Manufacturers do appreciate an OS that works and they can adapt to different devices. With this latest missive, MS want a greater say in which OS goes on which class of hardware. When they're competing against the comparitively free (as in "and easy") Android, this is daft.

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Lexmark adds Twitter to printer

Code Monkey
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"Restrictions"

Do you mean a tax on printers?

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Futuristic Judge Dredd smartguns issued to 101st Airborne

Code Monkey
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Tis true

Making "friendly fire" ever more deadly.

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Vodafone moves 360 goalposts

Code Monkey
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It's a competitive market

Why are Voda so hellbent on shooting themselves in the foot?

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BT blasts hundreds of would-be customers' data into Infinity

Code Monkey
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BT: Bunch of Twunts

They really are laughably incompetant. I look forward to the day that mobile internet's good enough to sack them entirely.

PS if the Reg style guide doesn't already ban "information superhighway" with the exception of "prang on the information superhighway" I think it should. 10/10 for that one!

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Quango bonfire torches websites

Code Monkey
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Some good, some bad

BNFL is a strange one, given the broad Tory support for the next generation nuclear power stations. Presumably the British taxpayers will pay the French to do it.

Something about the Competition Commission in a merger makes me smile.

I can't argue with the P45s heading to the Advisory Board on the Registration of Homeopathic Products and Herbal Medicines Advisory Committee. Presumably they'll dilute their giros with water and spin it out indefinitely. OK it's not nice to laugh at people losing their jobs but we shouldn't have been paying these charlatans in the first place.

And well done for keeping the BBC World Service. Given how far these bastards are up Murdoch's arse, this is a pleasant surprise.

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Germans develop sleepy-driver car 'warning' system

Code Monkey
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Interesting

It'll be difficult to callibrate as drviers sit in different positions depending on how knackered they are.

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Sony Reader PRS-350 Pocket Edition

Code Monkey
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Rotation, Dictionaries and Roald Amundsen

Thinking on how I read "proper" books in bed, the lack of auto-rotation sounds like a bonus to me.

The addition of tranlsation dictionaries suddenly makes this whole e-reader idea a lot more interesting.

Finally no "Roald Amundsen is a wanker"? I feel let down.

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HP accuses Hurd of repeated lying

Code Monkey
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Oh dear

Is hooting and wailing in the press about lying execs really going to do wonders for that share price?

I'm no IT exec, maybe it is...

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Ubuntu 10.10: date with destiny missed

Code Monkey
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I disagree

Every Windows problem is a great reason to use any flavour of linux....

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Code Monkey
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+1

OK I'm fond of banging the linux drum, it's true but +1 for that.

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Code Monkey
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Yup

I'm no Ubuntu fan but they're right on this score. Those users who give a rat's hindquarters that their packages are completely "free as in speech" have Debian and other distros. Meanwhile the rest of us that don't think that MP3, binary drivers or whatever are ideological monstrosities can get on with our lives.

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Code Monkey
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I want 2 partitions

I've always used 2 partitions and would continue to do so were I to use Ubuntu. It might be fine for most of you but some users' hardware causes the upgrade to fail. This happens with every version.

Of course I'd make a backup before upgrading but having /home on a separate partition means I can reinstall without having to restore. Much less dicking about.

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Robot teddy bears attack Alzheimer's

Code Monkey
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Conkers

So where are their unfeasably large bollocks?

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Code Monkey
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Deliberate?

I thought it was a deliberate "looser".

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Code Monkey
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If I ever get Alzheimer's...

...do not get me a sinister talking teddy bear!

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Tesla Motors: Our cars don't burst into flame, but our emails do

Code Monkey
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Hmm

I bet more women have been pulled in F458s though.

Don't ask me, I drive a Fiesta

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Code Monkey
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(iv) Sentence case

THE LACK OF CAPS LOCK SHOUTING WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTING, TOO. FUNNY ALL THE SAME, THOUGH!

WELL DONE TESLA, ANOTHER OWN GOAL!

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eBay Meg still chasing California's top job

Code Monkey
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Governor Jerry Brown

Of California Uber Alles fame?

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Mozilla upsets net world order with Bing on Firefox

Code Monkey
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Opera

Always first with the dubious features :o)

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Code Monkey
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That's your choice

It's also mine.

If Moz wants to offer another search engine that's fine with me. I'll choose not to use it.

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Brits not buying into Freeview HD

Code Monkey
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Also

I agree. Also the people who are more interested in telly, those most likely to give a rodent's hindquarters about HD, are also most likely to pay for Sky.

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Android phone auto reverts jailbreaks

Code Monkey
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Cost sales

It'll cost them A FEW sales from hardcore geeks. Most consumers buy a phone according to how pretty it is.

Downvote me if you like but that's how people choose phones.

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Man enraged by sagging pants pops cap in teen's ass

Code Monkey
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The 51

If it all gets a bit too much, get off at the Bartons Arms for a lovely pint and some peace and quiet. You could even grab a bloody good Thai meal.

Damn I'm hungry.

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