* Posts by Code Monkey

1575 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Seagate DeLorean: World's priciest hard drive?

Code Monkey
Happy

88

It's 88 times cooler as any fule kno

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Reg hack tickled by Kent schoolgirl

Code Monkey
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"Oh how they laughed at the hospital"

Quoted because I can only upvote you once. Hats off Sir Headache

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Regional accent read-outs coming to satnavs

Code Monkey

Black country. Ayit.

I've been working in the Black Country too long. I don't know when it happened but it was when "ah" became a reasonable response to any question whatsoever.

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Code Monkey

Aberdeen

Gawd no. I can't understand the Aberdeenie accent (if it's not Aberdeenie, it should be) to save my life!

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Code Monkey

Scouse

Go left after 300 yards and look the other way while me mates nick yer alloys la.

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Android out-runs Windows Phone 7 on price comparison site

Code Monkey

Symbian

You're right to flag the unusual demographic. Figures from the high street would be much more representative.

Still being outsold 3-1 by "dying" platform Symbian has to be a worry for them.

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WTF is... up with e-book pricing?

Code Monkey

So the answer is...

... campaign for e-books to be 0% VAT like their paper counterparts?

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iPad apps: the 10 smartest and 10 stupidest

Code Monkey

And

Short for Frances

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Masochists add Jimbo Wales to every webpage

Code Monkey
Coat

I agree with the OP

Jimbo (FFS) Wales is a complete cult.

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Code Monkey
Happy

Great solution

I have an easier one: click the "X" in the top left corner

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Privacy-protecting social network opens up

Code Monkey

Agreed

I thought OS was growing out of this foolishness. Just most projects, then.

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Code Monkey

Interesting but

I'll wait for an invite. There's little point my being on there til some of my freinds are - a bit like inventing the second telephone was a much bigger deal than the first.

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iPads improve image of IT industry

Code Monkey

It's a shame

They weren't attracted to polishing turds to laughable deadlines. Then they'd love it in the industry.

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Of Kuwait and DSLR cameras

Code Monkey

Common sense

You're applying common sense to the matter. Normally that's a good thing but doesn't really apply to the "War on Terror" (nor the other Wars on Intangible Concepts we seem to be so keen on fighting).

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Code Monkey

Congratulations Kuwait

A photography policy that make our beloved Met look less like hysterical bullies.

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Apple I goes for twice the price of an Enigma

Code Monkey
Joke

I refer the honorable commentards...

... to reams of "fanboi, more money than sense" comments throughout this fine organ.

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Google 'sacked Apple pioneer over leaked Schmidt memo'

Code Monkey

I doubt it would be cash

$1000 for every employee at the Chocolate Factory. Untold millions arriving in actual cash? I doubt it.

On tax - my understanding was that Google would pay the tax.

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Google advertisers howl over 'sudden quality score drop'

Code Monkey
Black Helicopters

"a bug in the system that seemed to drive quality scores down in late October"

A bug that mysteriously drives up revenues in October? I can imagine how urgently they're looking at that!

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Lawsuit says Facebook plunders user names, photos

Code Monkey

True, but

Their unfortunate email contacts don't

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Acer replaces laptop keyboard with multi-touch LCD

Code Monkey

Only a concept but

I bet it weighs a fncking ton

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Facebook royal rant bishop suspended

Code Monkey

Shame

I thought it was rather a magnificent rant. An Alan Partridge breakdown-style rant but magnificent all the same.

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Martha pushes online government as DirectGov CEO pushes off

Code Monkey

Good for you

I think she's a bit too keen on shiny new technology at the expense of critical thinking.

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iPAD, KINDLE, all tablets and slablets MADE OBSOLETE

Code Monkey

My thoughts exactly

Well done to the boffins for coming up with something that clever; but we really don't need more landfill.

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Facebook homes in on world of Google

Code Monkey

Not for me, bitch

The last thing I want to load on starting my browser is a gazillion photos and JavaScripts. I'll stick to good old blank page thanks.

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Google 'Instant Previews' hit Google Analytics with fake traffic

Code Monkey
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Opera

That sounds like a good reason to use Opera, then.

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Google sued for scanning emails of non-Gmail users

Code Monkey

Oh dear

If I were a judge I'd pat him on the head, say "oh dear how sad never mind" and move on to the next case.

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Apple preps CDMA-GSM 'World iPad'?

Code Monkey

"Grow up you turd-brain."

What a beautifully-phrased call to maturity.

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Amazon launches book gifting service

Code Monkey

Gifting

Is this a good time to wish you a merry December principal gifting period?

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Berners-Lee: Facebook 'threatens' web future

Code Monkey

And Packard, um, Bellers

According to a mate who used to do Helldesk for Freeserve.

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Apple files patent for iPad weight loss

Code Monkey
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US patent office

"Hopefully even the US patent office will be bright enough to tell Steve's boys to go laminate themselves..."

+1 (Funny)

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Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?*

Code Monkey

@Papal plotting priests please ponder

Magnificent!

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Royal Wedding: Prince Charles is a ZX81, Wills is an iPad

Code Monkey

QIWILF?

Queen-in-waiting-you-know-the-rest?

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Code Monkey

So...

Dodi Fayed was like the Spectrum. Much better, arrived a bit later but sadly prone to crashing at the worst possible time?

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What will Google do with NFC?

Code Monkey

My concern

My concern is not being wiped out. I'm clear that NFC transactions are only good for small amounts. Even that small amount is going to be a motivation for some wee shite.

So nicking my phone isn't going to clear me out but is going to be a massive ballache.

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Code Monkey
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I, Luddite

Like a lot of Reg readers I'm sceptical of every new "paradigm shifting" technolodgy "revolution" that comes along but I'm positively Luddite about this one.Who benefits other than thieves and the banks (as we spunk our accounts into the red with even less idea of what we're spending)?

DO NOT WANT!

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Exposed: leaked body scans published online

Code Monkey

Depressingly true

I'm not in the least surprised.

From a purely selfish point of view, my perv-scanned photos are only of interest to the chubby-chasing community. It's the beautfiul people I feel sorry for.

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Apple readies iTunes for Beatles juice, says report

Code Monkey
Troll

Yup

Overrated band (hi), meet overrated music store (hi).

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Eric Schmidt whips out mystery Android

Code Monkey
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Tap and Pay

Like that spotty wee bastard at the train station hasn't already got enough motivation to want to nick my phone.

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Facebook unveils 'next-gen' messaging system

Code Monkey

Not the same

Google Wave (Gwave?) tried to co-opt the Gmail userbase into a new product. This is a new feature in an already popular product.

Me? I'll use it if it's good, wish I could block it if not.

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Code Monkey

Usenet

Reinventring Usenet worked for LiveJournal, until Facebook came along.

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Pussy-slurping: You think you understand it, BUT YOU DON'T

Code Monkey
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Top Boffinry

The Ig-Nobel prize academy will take note!

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RHEL 6: how much for your package?

Code Monkey

CentOS

Too right . That's our decision to go with CentOS justified. It works very well at the barginous price of free.

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Comet bomber flyby pics show spaceball belching ancient dry ice

Code Monkey

The Sky at Night

The Sky at Night covered Hartley rather well, too. It's available on iPlayer.

Great article...

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Google sacks Eric Schmidt memo leaker

Code Monkey

@Who's more evil?

Now i am become Google the destroyer of privacy

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Microsoft Xbox 360 Kinect Launch Games

Code Monkey

Kinnect

At least you won't be able to do this with a Kinnect:

http://www.break.com/index/another-wii-sports-casualty.html

It's an oldie that never gets old!

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NEC intros Android tablet 'cloud communicator'

Code Monkey

Apple have won this market

In terms of design, I've not really seen anything to challenge Apple's fondle-slab. I suspect they've won this market, rather like they have with MP3 players; the often technically superior losing out to the beautifully designed iPod.

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Facebook engineer bashes Google for Gmail block

Code Monkey

It is an email client, kinda

For a lot of people FB has replaced email. And indeed I tend not to email people who are on FB as a message/wall post generally earns me a quicker reply.

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Geeks Guide 2 HTML5

Code Monkey
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W3Schools

Normally I'm a huge fan of the O'Reilly stable but for CSS I always Google W3Schools.

Note I've nothing to do with them, other than they're the first result I look for when searching "nowrap css equivalent" for the umpteenth time.

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NHS website stops whingers clogging up the surgeries

Code Monkey

Blimey

A Govt IT good news story? That makes a change. What a world we live in!

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Australia claims it invented cutting-edge tech before rest of world

Code Monkey

It's fun to read

They got there by following a coastal route from the Arabian peninsula, via India and South East Asia. Sea levels were much lower tens of thousands of years ago, meaning Oz wasn't so isolated as now (it was joined to New Guinea for one thing. Rising sea levels have also obliterated the archeological record of early modern humans lving on Aisan beaches (in many places those beaches are now 100km out to sea). Genetic studies are quite clear on how Aboriginies are related to the rest of humanity.

Try reading about it. These are all good.

Out of Eden by Stephen Oppenheimer

Deep Ancestry by Spencer Wells

The Incredible Human Journey by (TV's) Alice Roberts

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