Feeds

* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

iPAD, KINDLE, all tablets and slablets MADE OBSOLETE

Code Monkey
Silver badge

My thoughts exactly

Well done to the boffins for coming up with something that clever; but we really don't need more landfill.

3
0

Facebook homes in on world of Google

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Not for me, bitch

The last thing I want to load on starting my browser is a gazillion photos and JavaScripts. I'll stick to good old blank page thanks.

2
0

Google 'Instant Previews' hit Google Analytics with fake traffic

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Opera

That sounds like a good reason to use Opera, then.

0
0

Google sued for scanning emails of non-Gmail users

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Oh dear

If I were a judge I'd pat him on the head, say "oh dear how sad never mind" and move on to the next case.

3
5

Apple preps CDMA-GSM 'World iPad'?

Code Monkey
Silver badge

"Grow up you turd-brain."

What a beautifully-phrased call to maturity.

0
0

Amazon launches book gifting service

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Gifting

Is this a good time to wish you a merry December principal gifting period?

0
0

Berners-Lee: Facebook 'threatens' web future

Code Monkey
Silver badge

And Packard, um, Bellers

According to a mate who used to do Helldesk for Freeserve.

0
0

Apple files patent for iPad weight loss

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

US patent office

"Hopefully even the US patent office will be bright enough to tell Steve's boys to go laminate themselves..."

+1 (Funny)

3
0

Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?*

Code Monkey
Silver badge

@Papal plotting priests please ponder

Magnificent!

0
0

Royal Wedding: Prince Charles is a ZX81, Wills is an iPad

Code Monkey
Silver badge

QIWILF?

Queen-in-waiting-you-know-the-rest?

1
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

So...

Dodi Fayed was like the Spectrum. Much better, arrived a bit later but sadly prone to crashing at the worst possible time?

69
1

What will Google do with NFC?

Code Monkey
Silver badge

My concern

My concern is not being wiped out. I'm clear that NFC transactions are only good for small amounts. Even that small amount is going to be a motivation for some wee shite.

So nicking my phone isn't going to clear me out but is going to be a massive ballache.

2
2
Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Down

I, Luddite

Like a lot of Reg readers I'm sceptical of every new "paradigm shifting" technolodgy "revolution" that comes along but I'm positively Luddite about this one.Who benefits other than thieves and the banks (as we spunk our accounts into the red with even less idea of what we're spending)?

DO NOT WANT!

5
1

Exposed: leaked body scans published online

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Depressingly true

I'm not in the least surprised.

From a purely selfish point of view, my perv-scanned photos are only of interest to the chubby-chasing community. It's the beautfiul people I feel sorry for.

0
0

Apple readies iTunes for Beatles juice, says report

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Troll

Yup

Overrated band (hi), meet overrated music store (hi).

0
0

Eric Schmidt whips out mystery Android

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Tap and Pay

Like that spotty wee bastard at the train station hasn't already got enough motivation to want to nick my phone.

1
0

Facebook unveils 'next-gen' messaging system

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Not the same

Google Wave (Gwave?) tried to co-opt the Gmail userbase into a new product. This is a new feature in an already popular product.

Me? I'll use it if it's good, wish I could block it if not.

1
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

Usenet

Reinventring Usenet worked for LiveJournal, until Facebook came along.

0
0

Pussy-slurping: You think you understand it, BUT YOU DON'T

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Top Boffinry

The Ig-Nobel prize academy will take note!

2
0

RHEL 6: how much for your package?

Code Monkey
Silver badge

CentOS

Too right . That's our decision to go with CentOS justified. It works very well at the barginous price of free.

0
0

Comet bomber flyby pics show spaceball belching ancient dry ice

Code Monkey
Silver badge

The Sky at Night

The Sky at Night covered Hartley rather well, too. It's available on iPlayer.

Great article...

0
0

Google sacks Eric Schmidt memo leaker

Code Monkey
Silver badge

@Who's more evil?

Now i am become Google the destroyer of privacy

2
0

Microsoft Xbox 360 Kinect Launch Games

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Kinnect

At least you won't be able to do this with a Kinnect:

http://www.break.com/index/another-wii-sports-casualty.html

It's an oldie that never gets old!

1
0

NEC intros Android tablet 'cloud communicator'

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Apple have won this market

In terms of design, I've not really seen anything to challenge Apple's fondle-slab. I suspect they've won this market, rather like they have with MP3 players; the often technically superior losing out to the beautifully designed iPod.

0
1

Facebook engineer bashes Google for Gmail block

Code Monkey
Silver badge

It is an email client, kinda

For a lot of people FB has replaced email. And indeed I tend not to email people who are on FB as a message/wall post generally earns me a quicker reply.

2
3

Geeks Guide 2 HTML5

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

W3Schools

Normally I'm a huge fan of the O'Reilly stable but for CSS I always Google W3Schools.

Note I've nothing to do with them, other than they're the first result I look for when searching "nowrap css equivalent" for the umpteenth time.

0
0

NHS website stops whingers clogging up the surgeries

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Blimey

A Govt IT good news story? That makes a change. What a world we live in!

1
0

Australia claims it invented cutting-edge tech before rest of world

Code Monkey
Silver badge

It's fun to read

They got there by following a coastal route from the Arabian peninsula, via India and South East Asia. Sea levels were much lower tens of thousands of years ago, meaning Oz wasn't so isolated as now (it was joined to New Guinea for one thing. Rising sea levels have also obliterated the archeological record of early modern humans lving on Aisan beaches (in many places those beaches are now 100km out to sea). Genetic studies are quite clear on how Aboriginies are related to the rest of humanity.

Try reading about it. These are all good.

Out of Eden by Stephen Oppenheimer

Deep Ancestry by Spencer Wells

The Incredible Human Journey by (TV's) Alice Roberts

1
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

They can rack off

The "axe" found was one of dozens normally found hanging from prehistoric hats.

1
0

Roman 'Leatherman' spied on web

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Nice

Next you'll be telling us the Romans invented the spork

0
0

The 99p mobile phone: What's the catch?

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Smaller phones

I've just gone back to my old T303 after my HTC bricked. It's effin tiny and Droppy Shapes Game whizzes on anything I've found in Android Marketplace. It might even stay bricked.

0
0

Scroogle busted again after Google tweak

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Big Brother

Bloat

Google won the search engine war because it was lean, mean and focussed. OK they've got no responsibility whatsoever towards Scroogle but IMO it's a sign that they're getting fat, just like all the other new contenders do eventually.

So who's lining up to take the crown? Bing? Someone else? A rejuvenated Altavista?

0
0

Netbooks: notebook evolved - or stunted throwback?

Code Monkey
Silver badge

All four

For £1500 (and looking like a more money than sense tosser) you can. Personally I'd rather spend £1500 on crisps and beer.

1
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge
Linux

Thump

That's the sound of the nail being hit on the head. I've got a Acer Aspire One and it gets twice the use of my "grown up" laptop. It has a decent keybord and the screen size is fine, even for lightweight photo editing. It's not the fastest but I really object to lugging those extra kg around these days.

2
0

Zuckerberg: the iPad 'is not mobile'

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Por fin!

At last, a comment that's made this semantic circle jerk worth reading (the comments that is, keep the "Zuckerberg makes a cock of himself" stories coming, Reg).

1
0

How much is Facebook worth?

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Re: Claim your name

Wasn't that about having a "snappy" URL like www.facebook.com/code.monkey* rather than www.facebook.com/?user=gobbledigook

* if there is one it's not me

0
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

Stay well clear

Zuckerberg and the 499 other select few will make a ton of money out of this. The rest of us should stay well clear. People who are still sore about missing the boat on Microsoft, Google, etc. will chuck money at it and regret doing so until Facebook is as relevant as Friends Reunited.

9
0

Pesky weather grounds Discovery

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Bah

The Playmonaut would've got em airborne (spaceborne?)

0
0

Toshiba AC100 Android smartbook

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Rule #1

Don't dick about with the keyboard. Still an early attempt and good to see some "quality" brands introducing these ARM devices. Maybe they'll be mature enough by the time my Aspire One is showing it's age.

1
0

Shut up, Spock! – how Battlestar Galactica beat Trek babble

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@John Mangan, Gordon 10

Oh righto. Cheers.

0
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

A wicked case of the bends?

"Rather, you'll get a wicked case of the bends, which occurs when nitrogen bubbles enter the bloodstream. It can prove lethal to ocean divers who surface too quickly."

I'm not sure where this nitrogen's going to come from in a vacuum. I accept that you maybe don't die quite so pyrotechnically as Hollywood suggests but surely it'd be more akin to drowning than the bends?

Nitpicking aside, a good article. I read the lot and haven't even watched New Battlestar Galactica.

0
2

DWP CTO predicts the end of Windows

Code Monkey
Silver badge

It's about Office

Until there's a full fat cloudy Excel and Office Windows will continue to dominate.

It's been the year of desktop Linux for every one of at least the last 10 years. Much as I love the penguin, I'm in the minority. Mobile devices are taking over in the consumer market but business still needs (or thinks it needs) spreadsheets and bloody Powerpoint presentations.

4
0

Times celebrates disappearing readers

Code Monkey
Silver badge

BBC

Good for you. I read the BBC's news site but find it a little light on analysis, heavy on parrotting whatever press release they've just been handed. Auntie's been poor since losing the pissing contest with Blair over reporting the cockamamie reasons for invading Iraq.

For important stuff I want to read a second view. With a backbone.

2
1
Code Monkey
Silver badge

@greedy grasping billionare

Did you honestly expect Murdoch to give it away for free? TBH other newspapers should get their inky fingers out and follow suit or he and the bloggers will be the only game in town. Then we'll really be screwed.

0
0
Code Monkey
Silver badge

Encouraging for the Dirty Digger

I don't read any of his papers, but if the Graun did similar I'd probably sign up for £2 a week.

0
1

Panasonic bags Avatar 3D BD exclusive

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Paul Carrack?

What's a Paul Carrack?

Actually don't bother yourselves. I'm a telly hating not-the-target-demographic anyway.

1
0

Amiga on the block (again)

Code Monkey
Silver badge
WTF?

Amiga Inc.

That Flash animation. Why? I know the Amiga's something of a retro platform but that doesn't mean they should fill their site with 90s web clutter.

It's so bad it's actually compelling. I may return there tonight and mouseover it some more.

1
0

Startup promises money for fanbois

Code Monkey
Silver badge
Jobs Horns

@Quotas

For a lot of marketards, that demographic* would be the only one they give a rat's jacksy about.

* no that does not include me.

0
0

Google rejects spy-happy Android app

Code Monkey
Silver badge

If you want to have an affair

Use a dumbphone. Although the phone companies' marketards would have you believe you'll never pull with one.

2
0

YouTube founder quits

Code Monkey
Silver badge

Hlaska

Complete follocks. I hope that sums up my view on Hlaska.

1
0