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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Nick Cave smashes speed camera with Jag

Code Monkey
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Pint

A good year for the Cave.

First Grinderman 2, now this.

Have a beer, Mr Cave. Even if it's Aussie pish

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PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

Code Monkey
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Shriley

Is should be called the Intrepid Playmonaut

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Death of ID card scheme left £6.5m of kit going begging

Code Monkey
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Coat

"who wants a database of idiots?"

Facebook?

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Lost ancient civilisation's ruins lie beneath Gulf, says boffin

Code Monkey
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"Inspired by events"

It's fair to say that a lot of the Old Testament was inspired by events - for example the great flood appears in other ancient texts; though I refuse to dignify all the supernatural humbug as "events".

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Storage shop ships storage for storage

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Blighty's kids nosedive down global reading, maths rankings

Code Monkey
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I'm one of the lucky ones

Educated in the 80s before the relentless pressure to have better exam results year-on-year did too much damage (it was definitely there though). There are some things I resent: religious dogma at the expense of science and having to learn grammar via a foreign language because it's not taught in English but all in all we left school equipped to think for ourselves.

These days it seems the only thing kids leave school with is a bag full of noddy exams and a colossal sense of entitlement that their intellectual abilities do little to justify. We've let down an entire generation. By "we" I mean successive governments.

Blimey I've turned into my dad.

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Facebook revamp gives away even more info, warn pros

Code Monkey
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Possibly your cache

That sounds very like a cached stylesheet.

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Code Monkey
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[sigh]

I deleted most of my interests yesterday (except those that I wanted to contact me).

I reckon I'm heading for another Facecrack exit.

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WikiLeaks: Intel strong-armed Russian apparatchiks

Code Monkey
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Coffee/keyboard

@bankrupt banana empire

Keyboard, etc. Nice one.

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Steelie Neelie floats pan-European phone number notion

Code Monkey
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I already have one

It's +44 [my number]. Even better it works globally.

As a continent we're a bit skint now, Eurowonks. How about we decide that by and large the phone network works and concentrate on the serious business of setting proper standards for banana curvature.

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Gov decides not to have scientific advice on drugs any more

Code Monkey
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True

So now they're exactly as ill-informed at a fraction of the cost. Well done Cameron, seriously.

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SpaceX's Dragon poised to go orbital

Code Monkey
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"within a few hundred yards of its target"

Are we talking a genuine few hundred yards or a Ryanair few hundred yards, here?

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Robotic High Noon in Colorado

Code Monkey
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Cement

Any UK reader who mispent a childhood up to their eyes in Airfix Spitfires and whathaveyou would recognise both senses of cement. I can't be alone in this, can I?

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Code Monkey
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Aw bless

They just wanted to blow stuff up.

Bless, Denver plod. Bless.

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This year's comedy Xmas No. 1 contender: Silent song 4'33"

Code Monkey
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It was (a tiny bit) funny last year

X-Factor's soul-destroying asswater but so is buying novelty records because some wonk on Facebook told you to.

Bollocks to the lot of em, I'll save my record buying money for something I actually like (like the Electric Wizard re-issue next year).

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Code Monkey
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Yeah but

I've already got Surfin' Bird. 7", big hole in the middle. I don't want 4:33 though. I'm not playing this game.

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US iPad to get BBC pay app - with 'handcrafted British feel'

Code Monkey
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Good thinking Auntie

Win win. Overseas types get our top quailty programming (and BBC3), Auntie gets some cash, slabfondlers get something useful (though non-fondlers can still BitTorrent the more popular shows).

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WikiLeaks ousted from Amazon US

Code Monkey
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@MrCheese

Sooo you think that hosting the leaks in the US is bigger news than the leaks themselves? Sure? I've only read about this is in the Reg. I don't recall seeing anything about the hosting on the mainstream news sites I read; they're all too busy covering the leaks themselves.

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Code Monkey
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@AC 21:37

"Whilst I laud the original aims of wikileaks it seems to have become a publicity vehicle for Julian Assage with everything designed to ensure max publicity to boost his ego and martyr image."

Very, sadly true. Hosting wikileaks in the US serves no purpose for freedom of information (small letters). He's just trying to get more column inches. Just expose the dirty laundry and leave the celebutard BS to Hilton, Lohan et al.

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SMOKIN' HOT BABE gets job as computer geek

Code Monkey
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Wrong?

Only if she's much larger and looks, shall we say, surprised.

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Bolivians still grimly browsing on Sony Ericsson phones

Code Monkey
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@People's Republic of Android

That's Democratic* People's Republic of Android to you, revisionist American lapdog!

* it really is the Democratic People's Republic of Korea

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DDoS attack, sex warrant won't stop Assange's leaky discharge

Code Monkey
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Pint

"Assange's leaky discharge"

My headline fragment of the week. Have a pretendy pint on me!

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'Smear agricultural land with human poo'

Code Monkey
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Good idea

Take a waste product and make something useful out of it.

Where's the Womble icon?

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NASA to make MAJOR ALIENS REVELATION this week

Code Monkey
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Semi-literate wibblings

So not bad for Bebo, then.

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Code Monkey
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Alien liaison boffin

Can we tell Gordon Ramsey he's got the job and send him into space? Somewhere nice like Neptune?

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Code Monkey
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Can I?

Can I just assume their commentards are tinfoil hatted nutjobs* and just not bother?

* who said "like the Reg". Come on, own up!

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Code Monkey
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Where is amanfrommars

He went back home to sabotage the Mars rovers

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Lone hacker theory in Wikileaks DDoS attack

Code Monkey
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th3j35t3r

Seriously? th3j35t3r? Someone needs to get out more.

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Seagate DeLorean: World's priciest hard drive?

Code Monkey
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Happy

88

It's 88 times cooler as any fule kno

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Reg hack tickled by Kent schoolgirl

Code Monkey
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"Oh how they laughed at the hospital"

Quoted because I can only upvote you once. Hats off Sir Headache

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Regional accent read-outs coming to satnavs

Code Monkey
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Black country. Ayit.

I've been working in the Black Country too long. I don't know when it happened but it was when "ah" became a reasonable response to any question whatsoever.

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Code Monkey
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Aberdeen

Gawd no. I can't understand the Aberdeenie accent (if it's not Aberdeenie, it should be) to save my life!

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Code Monkey
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Scouse

Go left after 300 yards and look the other way while me mates nick yer alloys la.

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Android out-runs Windows Phone 7 on price comparison site

Code Monkey
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Symbian

You're right to flag the unusual demographic. Figures from the high street would be much more representative.

Still being outsold 3-1 by "dying" platform Symbian has to be a worry for them.

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WTF is... up with e-book pricing?

Code Monkey
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So the answer is...

... campaign for e-books to be 0% VAT like their paper counterparts?

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iPad apps: the 10 smartest and 10 stupidest

Code Monkey
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And

Short for Frances

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Masochists add Jimbo Wales to every webpage

Code Monkey
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I agree with the OP

Jimbo (FFS) Wales is a complete cult.

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Code Monkey
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Happy

Great solution

I have an easier one: click the "X" in the top left corner

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Privacy-protecting social network opens up

Code Monkey
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Agreed

I thought OS was growing out of this foolishness. Just most projects, then.

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Code Monkey
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Interesting but

I'll wait for an invite. There's little point my being on there til some of my freinds are - a bit like inventing the second telephone was a much bigger deal than the first.

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iPads improve image of IT industry

Code Monkey
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It's a shame

They weren't attracted to polishing turds to laughable deadlines. Then they'd love it in the industry.

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Of Kuwait and DSLR cameras

Code Monkey
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Common sense

You're applying common sense to the matter. Normally that's a good thing but doesn't really apply to the "War on Terror" (nor the other Wars on Intangible Concepts we seem to be so keen on fighting).

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Code Monkey
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Congratulations Kuwait

A photography policy that make our beloved Met look less like hysterical bullies.

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Apple I goes for twice the price of an Enigma

Code Monkey
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Joke

I refer the honorable commentards...

... to reams of "fanboi, more money than sense" comments throughout this fine organ.

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Google 'sacked Apple pioneer over leaked Schmidt memo'

Code Monkey
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I doubt it would be cash

$1000 for every employee at the Chocolate Factory. Untold millions arriving in actual cash? I doubt it.

On tax - my understanding was that Google would pay the tax.

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Google advertisers howl over 'sudden quality score drop'

Code Monkey
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Black Helicopters

"a bug in the system that seemed to drive quality scores down in late October"

A bug that mysteriously drives up revenues in October? I can imagine how urgently they're looking at that!

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Lawsuit says Facebook plunders user names, photos

Code Monkey
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True, but

Their unfortunate email contacts don't

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Acer replaces laptop keyboard with multi-touch LCD

Code Monkey
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Only a concept but

I bet it weighs a fncking ton

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Facebook royal rant bishop suspended

Code Monkey
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Shame

I thought it was rather a magnificent rant. An Alan Partridge breakdown-style rant but magnificent all the same.

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Martha pushes online government as DirectGov CEO pushes off

Code Monkey
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Good for you

I think she's a bit too keen on shiny new technology at the expense of critical thinking.

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