* Posts by Code Monkey

1568 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Man caught w*nking over Alan Sugar's autobiography

Code Monkey

Annus Mirabilis?

Comedy fans might dub 2010 as an "Annus Mirabilis" instead. A top 10 with Playmobil reconstructions would round the year off wonderfully.

0
0
Code Monkey
Pint

"Piers was that you?"

Sralan I don't like you but hats off for that one.

16
0

Greek police cuff Anonymous spokesman suspect

Code Monkey

Graun: Inside Anonymous

The Graun ran a great article the other day, which managed to avoid foaming at the mouth criticism and breathless fanboyism. It's well worth a read:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2010/dec/13/hacking-wikileaks?INTCMP=SRCH

0
0

Google drops nuke on 'objective' search engine utopia

Code Monkey

Sad but true

Google search is going the way of all the old search engines it trounced in its early days. Their hubris generally expressed itself as portalitis, where the race to add features meant that search was generally neglected. Google's hubris manifests as Chrome OS and an appalling lack of respect for its users (and especially its ad customers).

I honestly can't see who would take the crown from here. A web search startup would struggle to get funding ("who are your competitors" "Google" "ah, right - bye then") so maybe we're looking for a rejuvenated Infoseek or something. Hell, even MS are on the ropes enough to get the odd sympathy search from me.

0
0

Google Cr-48: Inside the Chrome OS 'unstable isotope'

Code Monkey

Mobile computer

It's a mobile computer that tips the scales at almost 2kg. Weight is the reason my netbook travels with me and not my ThinkPad. This class of browser only device needs to weigh less than a netbook to make up for the lack of a hard drive.

And it's not just we nerds that want a hard disk. Normal people want to store their music collections, too.

1
0
Code Monkey

Yup

Netbook and laptop pricing does overlap quite a bit, where it becomes a question of "do I want to carry the extra weight?".

If "cloudbook" and netbook pricing overlap I can't see what would prompt me (or anyone else) to get the less capable device.

0
0

Men may be able to grow a new pancreas from their testicles

Code Monkey

Title

Oh nuts

0
0

ITV, C4 catch-up players coming to PS3

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Fantastic

I agree with the AC above about ITV, unless they're doing the Test highlights on deman. Can it be?

0
0

Top secret payload fired into orbit aboard private rocket

Code Monkey

Le Brouère

That sounds lovely. Dangerous as I've not done the weekend food shopping yet.

0
0

Apple touts top iTunes tunes of 2010

Code Monkey

Best single of 2010?

I Knew You Didn't Love Me Anymore When You Changed Your Facebook Status to Single by Trevor Sensitive and the Locals

http://trevorsensitiveandthelocals.bandcamp.com/album/i-knew-you-didnt-love-me-any-more-when-you-changed-your-facebook-status-to-single

Disclaimer: I'm neither Trevor Sensitive, not a Local. I just like em.

0
0

Apple chap knocks up ancient Lego computer

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Wow

That is magnificent. I was open-mouthed watching that. Beautiful!

Time to get myself a set of those Lego Technic books for Christmas.

2
0

Amazon Kindles cash from Wikileaks

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

A fool and his money are soon parted

Since the majority of the mouth-breathing newspaper readers out there think the site's being taken down means no more Wikileaked documents, Amazon step in to sell it to them for a nice tidy sum. Nice one Amazon. Seriously.

1
0

Cupid Wings iPhone stand

Code Monkey

Perfect

For cupid stunts

3
0

PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

Code Monkey

@it must be mighty cold sitting there

After the terror of SPACE our Playmonaut has no fear of chalfonts.

0
0
Code Monkey
Pint

Shriley

Is should be called the Intrepid Playmonaut

0
0

E-book reader demand boom near

Code Monkey

Save your eyes, get a proper ebook reader

As someone who can happily spend an entire weekend buried in a book there's no way I'd do that on a smartphone. It'd be fine for a commute (were I to use public transport) but for a proper sesh? No chance.

Speaking more generally, I've been sceptical about ebook readers. Since moving my mountain of paper books around has shown me it's not as "pointless bling" as I'd thought. So once my "to read" pile goes down, I'll be in the market for an ebook reader.

0
0

Nick Cave smashes speed camera with Jag

Code Monkey
Pint

A good year for the Cave.

First Grinderman 2, now this.

Have a beer, Mr Cave. Even if it's Aussie pish

0
0

Death of ID card scheme left £6.5m of kit going begging

Code Monkey
Coat

"who wants a database of idiots?"

Facebook?

17
0

Lost ancient civilisation's ruins lie beneath Gulf, says boffin

Code Monkey

"Inspired by events"

It's fair to say that a lot of the Old Testament was inspired by events - for example the great flood appears in other ancient texts; though I refuse to dignify all the supernatural humbug as "events".

4
0

Storage shop ships storage for storage

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Blighty's kids nosedive down global reading, maths rankings

Code Monkey

I'm one of the lucky ones

Educated in the 80s before the relentless pressure to have better exam results year-on-year did too much damage (it was definitely there though). There are some things I resent: religious dogma at the expense of science and having to learn grammar via a foreign language because it's not taught in English but all in all we left school equipped to think for ourselves.

These days it seems the only thing kids leave school with is a bag full of noddy exams and a colossal sense of entitlement that their intellectual abilities do little to justify. We've let down an entire generation. By "we" I mean successive governments.

Blimey I've turned into my dad.

6
0

Facebook revamp gives away even more info, warn pros

Code Monkey

Possibly your cache

That sounds very like a cached stylesheet.

1
0
Code Monkey
Thumb Down

[sigh]

I deleted most of my interests yesterday (except those that I wanted to contact me).

I reckon I'm heading for another Facecrack exit.

2
2

WikiLeaks: Intel strong-armed Russian apparatchiks

Code Monkey
Coffee/keyboard

@bankrupt banana empire

Keyboard, etc. Nice one.

0
0

Steelie Neelie floats pan-European phone number notion

Code Monkey

I already have one

It's +44 [my number]. Even better it works globally.

As a continent we're a bit skint now, Eurowonks. How about we decide that by and large the phone network works and concentrate on the serious business of setting proper standards for banana curvature.

12
0

Gov decides not to have scientific advice on drugs any more

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

True

So now they're exactly as ill-informed at a fraction of the cost. Well done Cameron, seriously.

0
0

SpaceX's Dragon poised to go orbital

Code Monkey

"within a few hundred yards of its target"

Are we talking a genuine few hundred yards or a Ryanair few hundred yards, here?

0
0

Robotic High Noon in Colorado

Code Monkey

Cement

Any UK reader who mispent a childhood up to their eyes in Airfix Spitfires and whathaveyou would recognise both senses of cement. I can't be alone in this, can I?

3
0
Code Monkey

Aw bless

They just wanted to blow stuff up.

Bless, Denver plod. Bless.

0
0

This year's comedy Xmas No. 1 contender: Silent song 4'33"

Code Monkey

It was (a tiny bit) funny last year

X-Factor's soul-destroying asswater but so is buying novelty records because some wonk on Facebook told you to.

Bollocks to the lot of em, I'll save my record buying money for something I actually like (like the Electric Wizard re-issue next year).

0
0
Code Monkey

Yeah but

I've already got Surfin' Bird. 7", big hole in the middle. I don't want 4:33 though. I'm not playing this game.

0
0

US iPad to get BBC pay app - with 'handcrafted British feel'

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Good thinking Auntie

Win win. Overseas types get our top quailty programming (and BBC3), Auntie gets some cash, slabfondlers get something useful (though non-fondlers can still BitTorrent the more popular shows).

2
0

WikiLeaks ousted from Amazon US

Code Monkey

@MrCheese

Sooo you think that hosting the leaks in the US is bigger news than the leaks themselves? Sure? I've only read about this is in the Reg. I don't recall seeing anything about the hosting on the mainstream news sites I read; they're all too busy covering the leaks themselves.

0
0
Code Monkey

@AC 21:37

"Whilst I laud the original aims of wikileaks it seems to have become a publicity vehicle for Julian Assage with everything designed to ensure max publicity to boost his ego and martyr image."

Very, sadly true. Hosting wikileaks in the US serves no purpose for freedom of information (small letters). He's just trying to get more column inches. Just expose the dirty laundry and leave the celebutard BS to Hilton, Lohan et al.

0
6

SMOKIN' HOT BABE gets job as computer geek

Code Monkey

Wrong?

Only if she's much larger and looks, shall we say, surprised.

8
0

Bolivians still grimly browsing on Sony Ericsson phones

Code Monkey

@People's Republic of Android

That's Democratic* People's Republic of Android to you, revisionist American lapdog!

* it really is the Democratic People's Republic of Korea

0
0

DDoS attack, sex warrant won't stop Assange's leaky discharge

Code Monkey
Pint

"Assange's leaky discharge"

My headline fragment of the week. Have a pretendy pint on me!

8
1

'Smear agricultural land with human poo'

Code Monkey

Good idea

Take a waste product and make something useful out of it.

Where's the Womble icon?

3
0

NASA to make MAJOR ALIENS REVELATION this week

Code Monkey

Semi-literate wibblings

So not bad for Bebo, then.

0
0
Code Monkey

Alien liaison boffin

Can we tell Gordon Ramsey he's got the job and send him into space? Somewhere nice like Neptune?

1
0
Code Monkey

Can I?

Can I just assume their commentards are tinfoil hatted nutjobs* and just not bother?

* who said "like the Reg". Come on, own up!

0
0
Code Monkey

Where is amanfrommars

He went back home to sabotage the Mars rovers

2
0

Lone hacker theory in Wikileaks DDoS attack

Code Monkey

th3j35t3r

Seriously? th3j35t3r? Someone needs to get out more.

9
0

Seagate DeLorean: World's priciest hard drive?

Code Monkey
Happy

88

It's 88 times cooler as any fule kno

3
0

Reg hack tickled by Kent schoolgirl

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

"Oh how they laughed at the hospital"

Quoted because I can only upvote you once. Hats off Sir Headache

0
0

Regional accent read-outs coming to satnavs

Code Monkey

Black country. Ayit.

I've been working in the Black Country too long. I don't know when it happened but it was when "ah" became a reasonable response to any question whatsoever.

0
0
Code Monkey

Aberdeen

Gawd no. I can't understand the Aberdeenie accent (if it's not Aberdeenie, it should be) to save my life!

0
0
Code Monkey

Scouse

Go left after 300 yards and look the other way while me mates nick yer alloys la.

0
0

Android out-runs Windows Phone 7 on price comparison site

Code Monkey

Symbian

You're right to flag the unusual demographic. Figures from the high street would be much more representative.

Still being outsold 3-1 by "dying" platform Symbian has to be a worry for them.

4
0

WTF is... up with e-book pricing?

Code Monkey

So the answer is...

... campaign for e-books to be 0% VAT like their paper counterparts?

0
0

Forums