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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

EU bottoms up committee slates body scanners

Code Monkey
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Big Brother

UK.gov response:

Fuck em. We can't put the rights of the general public above those of company executives to line their pockets with people's tax pounds. We'll support this scam and concoct some wacky terrrorism bullshit to cover our backs. Oppose the perv scanners? You must support the terrorists! You must be a terrorist!

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MS fesses on silent security fixes

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

True, but

True, but that's a risk fixing all bugs. Disclosure doesn't make my bug fixes better or worse and I can't see why that's any different for MS.

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Code Monkey
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IMO that's fair enough

Not often I agree with Redmond, but for bugs that have been found internally, just fix them!

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IT grad claims £5m for crap degree

Code Monkey
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@AC

I'd rate not being a dick as far more important than the grade(?), subject or even having a degree.

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Code Monkey
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@AC

I was speaking purely for myself, though admittedly I should have added pointing and laughing for completeness.

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Code Monkey
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It's that sort of thinking...

...that earns you Desmond*.

* I don't have a degree at all yet feel educated enough to sneer at Mr Wogu.

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iPhone 5 rumors: bigger, smaller, cloudy, keyboard-equipped

Code Monkey
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You don't have to join the tech pissing contest.

Maybe you're used to a Pavlovian dash for your debit card as soon as Apple releases new shiny but you don't have to. The old iPhone is a perfectly capable device (once you slap an oversized rubber band over it).

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Twitter off-limits for cricketers

Code Monkey
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Swanny

That's a shame as Graeme Swann is quite entertaining. Anyone know of a spoof Swanny a la TheBig_Sam?

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Samsung readies Android-based iPod Touch killer

Code Monkey
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It's the Angry Birds

Personally I've no use for this but I can see parents getting their (lucky) kids one to stop them nicking their phones to play Angry Birds.

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OFT waves through UK.gov's national addressing database

Code Monkey
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Stop

Great

Now where do I opt out?

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HTC takes a flyer on tablets

Code Monkey
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My thoughts exactly

Hopefully they've scaled up the battery otherwise it'll flop like nobody's business!

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Google Chrome extension bars domains from search results

Code Monkey
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Experts Exchange

That was my first thought, too. And that's one bit of information I'll happily share with Google!

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HTML5 kicked into 2014

Code Monkey
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"Another three years of crushing hype"

How wonderfully, if depressingly, succint.

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Wooden spaceship descends into Moscow sandpit

Code Monkey
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Life imitating art

I wonder if they got the idea by reading Omon Ra by Vicotr Pelevin.

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Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke

Code Monkey
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7m - wow!

Now that is impressive!

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English Defence League site pulled offline after defacement

Code Monkey
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"I'm not racist, but..."

In the sense that they're "not racist, but..."

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Protection of Freedoms Bill is released

Code Monkey
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A cautious welcome

I didn't know that fraud trials without jury were in the sights as well. I've always viewed jury trials as an easy target for the Tories as they can argue it's red tape in the way of getting jsutice done.

So it's a welcome from me, suspended until the fine print has been examined (by someone more clued up than I).

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Bluetooth Special Interest Group hands out cups

Code Monkey
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Actually...

...the head trauma monitor does sound extremely useful (potentially a life-saving app, rather than killer app) but would, as, Dale 3 says, require a decent connection.

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Italian white van man nudges sound barrier

Code Monkey
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"especially when a delivery is late"

When the driver's late for his cuppa more like!

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Android inches nearer NFC nirvana

Code Monkey
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Gingerbread is half baked

[applauds]

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Code Monkey
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3 Rs

Reading, writing and spelling

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Google, antitrust, and the 'Copygate' hypocrisy

Code Monkey
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bit.ly?

Post a proper URL

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Starbucks' iPhone barcode app easily scammed by screengrab

Code Monkey
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Coffee is lovely...

...ss long as you're careful not to buy Starbucks' vile cups of over-roasted pish.

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Alabama sex shop owner swaps 'Guns for Toys'

Code Monkey
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Bang bang!

Only in America would they have a gun sale to raise money for crime victims. I love you all, you crazy bastards!

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iPad TWO: What, already?

Code Monkey
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Troll

Clam down dear

That is all

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RealNetworks unhooks 130 employees in jobs cull

Code Monkey
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So long nagware

Annoying the hell out of your userbase not a good business model? Well I never.

I'm not even that sorry for the poor basts losing their jobs.

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PSP playing boy plunges onto railway

Code Monkey
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Pint

It's Friday

There'll be falling over/into things/onto things aplenty going on in and around city centre boozers the length and breadth of the UK. I'm not sure which you'd pick as the 3rd.

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Code Monkey
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The child is an idiot

For once I don't blame the parents.

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Big stink over Malawi farting ban

Code Monkey
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Deny everything!

Deny everything!

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Code Monkey
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Glad I'm not Malawian(?)

Having just chowed down on a big plate of veg samosas I'm grateful to live in a country with freedom of, er, gas.

First they came for the flatulent...

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Scanner snares senior servant

Code Monkey
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Architectural Ironmongery

And there's the real reason he was sacked, for not claiming he was searching for architectural ironmongery.

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Post-a-puppy woman hit with cruelty charges

Code Monkey
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Yes

Via airmail, of course

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UK's Supreme Court greenlights Twitter usage

Code Monkey
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Stop

How about

They all put their fncking phones down and take court cases seriously?

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Official: PhD in 'Essential Oils' or 'Natural Toiletries' = 'a Scientist'

Code Monkey
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Wow

So... when I was down the pub on Saturday I was being a Beer Scientist? Actually with over 20 years research I'd be overqualified in the Essential Oils sector.

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UK probes ebook pricing

Code Monkey
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Charge them (almost) full whack

While the material and distribution costs are negligible, the authors still have to be paid. Your typical eBook price complaint completely devalues the months of work represented by a good book (or the days of work represented by a Dan Brown novel).

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Facebook plugs gnarly authentication flaw

Code Monkey
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They're asking for it

With all that code kncoking around inviting people to "Like" pages on 3rd party sites. Personally I'd rather they allowed me to switch that shite off because I'm never going to use it.

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Gates: Killing the internet is easy

Code Monkey
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Gates Horns

Yes Bill

Most of us remember Slammer

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Motorola Defy Android smartphone

Code Monkey
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Good review. Phone looks good, too

That ticks quite a lot of my boxes (can take a knock, small-for-a-smartphone size, call quality, battery life), enough to forgive the less than bleeding edge OS. Certainly more boxes than my Desire.

Hopefully an updated Defy 2 will be available at upgrade time.

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Indonesian pop star jailed over sex videos

Code Monkey
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@AC You could always ignore it

It is possible to escape the whole shitepile of celebutard gossip. Honestly.

You don't have to read the red tops. You can watch Channel Four news instead of Channel Five. Then maybe you won't find the need to anonymously post angry messages to the Internet.

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Archos 101 8GB Android tablet

Code Monkey
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"the only tablet now on sale that I would actually spend my own hard-earned on"

I'm still not ready to part with my hard-earned on a tablet but this is the most tempting fondle-slab I've seen so far. And unlike almost every other vendor, Archos have been making this sort of thing for years.

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Firm offers punter prints pronto

Code Monkey
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Such outrageous vanity!

I'm tempted...

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In defence of Comic Sans

Code Monkey
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Whereas...

Whereas complaining on the Internet is a good use of anyone's time.

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Ten... wireless keyboards

Code Monkey
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Your review

Your review focusses more on aesthetics and noise than how they feel when typing. Personally I'm not arsed what the thing looks like, nor whether my colleagues can make phonecalls when I'm typing (frankly if they can't, so much the better). What I am concerned with is can I still use my hands after a marathon of bodging code.

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Facebook launches location-tracking Places Deals

Code Monkey
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Grenade

Who would want this?

Click here to be bombarded with spam every time you walk past a Starbucks.

Thank $DEITY my Android's fixed and I can sign up tonight!

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MSI Windows webpad goes on sale

Code Monkey
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No thanks

I can wedge doors open for a lot less than £500 plus virus scanner.

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Gatwick Airport security swoops on 3-inch rifle

Code Monkey
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They used to

Til people had trouble flying with them...

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Code Monkey
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Jobsworth Morons

It's easy to point, roll your eyes and call them jobsworth morons, and you'd be right of course.

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O2 to upgrade southern UK network

Code Monkey
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That's nice

Any chance of putting some 2G coverage in the North while you're at it? O2 coverage is bobbins near my folks.

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Gov unveils plans to reduce employment tribunal claims

Code Monkey
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Flame

Anyone remember voting for this?

Given that employees typically move on after 2 years, this has killed the right to claim unfair dismissal for most people. Throw in a fee and we're completely fucked.

(I'm not typical, mind, I've been code monkeying here a dashed long time.)

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Hubble squints at most distant galaxy

Code Monkey
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Happy

That's why...

That's why they're NASA and your kids aren't. Me? I can't find my arse with both hands most mornings.

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