* Posts by Code Monkey

1573 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

New charge against alleged WikiLeaker carries death penalty

Code Monkey

Wikileaks

If Wikileaks had any oil you could guarantee they'd have imagined some weapons of mass destruction invaded them by now.

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Code Monkey

Re: That's a very interesting quote

It's an excellent quote. It's from 1984; that book that was once a warning and now is a template for Western government.

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Facebook to share home addresses, phone numbers

Code Monkey
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Application X

Luckily Application X is likely to be a complete load of monkey kronk so if it asks too much, you're not really missing out by not installing it.

I don't think I've got a single app on FB and that means is my wall's less clogged up with crap. Well that and a consistent "see and app, block an app" approach...

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Ex-PM blocked Steve Jobs knighthood

Code Monkey

Re: bunch of w*****s

Lord Prescott is rubbish as well.

Now take that look off your face; if the wind changes it'll stay like that.

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Health experts flip over McD's burger-flip toy

Code Monkey

Advertising

There's talk to an advertising ban for fast food. I think they should allow it but only show fat people in the adverts.

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Nokia C1-01 budget voicephone

Code Monkey
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Tempting

That looks like really good value for taking on hols if you fear having your smartphone nicked or aren't sure you'll be able to charge it up every night.

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Government should extend agile development for IT

Code Monkey

Agile

It's a nice buzzword to throw around.

It genuinely does make a difference at the dev team level. As for stopping IT project failure? Stop moving goalposts and stop civil servants jumping ship so often that there's no accountability.

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Self-erasing flash drives destroy court evidence

Code Monkey

They're saying...

...if you're up to no good, get an SSD

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Euro court slaps down insurers over gender risks

Code Monkey

They are already

"Is your car modified in any way (including wheels)?"

My 2p: I don't think I've ever used "it's political correctness gone mad" without taking the piss before. Gender's a genuine indicator of risk and this change will be another excuse for the insurance cartel to dick us all.

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Julian Assange™ applies to trademark himself

Code Monkey
FAIL

Oh the irony

How very dare you publish an article as "Team Register"!

yous,

AC

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Code Monkey
Pint

Pint?

Here it is. No, no, my shout.

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Apple fanbois leak secrets of Mac OS X Lion

Code Monkey

It's called...

It's called having an opinion. Now how about stopping being an AC and playing nicely?

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Code Monkey

Oh come on!

I enjoy bitching about Apple as much as the next commentard but a new version of a popular OS is news. No, really it is.

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Faces of the iPad 2 and iPhone 5 revealed

Code Monkey

Title

iMeh

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Anon Mail commenters to stay anon

Code Monkey

Sensible and reasonable readers

I get the impression that a lot of Guardian readers troll the Mail fora (and vice versa).

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Code Monkey
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Judge shows common sense?

Blimey. Maybe there's some hope for this sad island after all.

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US scientists build laser-killing device

Code Monkey
Coat

"absorbing 99.999 per cent of incoming light"

They've invented the priest's sock?

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South African dam sluices 609 elephants per second

Code Monkey

African

South African dam, African elephants.

If Indian dams ever break the 600 (African) elephant per second barrier, then we can start to argue.

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Code Monkey
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Nice

Especially as this would rate the dam at a magnificent 3654 PPM.

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Code Monkey

Elephants per second

That has just shot to the top of my list of favourite measurements, wiping the floor with the Wales and even beating the Bulgarian Airbag.

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EU bottoms up committee slates body scanners

Code Monkey
Big Brother

UK.gov response:

Fuck em. We can't put the rights of the general public above those of company executives to line their pockets with people's tax pounds. We'll support this scam and concoct some wacky terrrorism bullshit to cover our backs. Oppose the perv scanners? You must support the terrorists! You must be a terrorist!

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MS fesses on silent security fixes

Code Monkey
Headmaster

True, but

True, but that's a risk fixing all bugs. Disclosure doesn't make my bug fixes better or worse and I can't see why that's any different for MS.

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Code Monkey

IMO that's fair enough

Not often I agree with Redmond, but for bugs that have been found internally, just fix them!

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IT grad claims £5m for crap degree

Code Monkey

@AC

I'd rate not being a dick as far more important than the grade(?), subject or even having a degree.

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Code Monkey
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@AC

I was speaking purely for myself, though admittedly I should have added pointing and laughing for completeness.

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Code Monkey

It's that sort of thinking...

...that earns you Desmond*.

* I don't have a degree at all yet feel educated enough to sneer at Mr Wogu.

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iPhone 5 rumors: bigger, smaller, cloudy, keyboard-equipped

Code Monkey

You don't have to join the tech pissing contest.

Maybe you're used to a Pavlovian dash for your debit card as soon as Apple releases new shiny but you don't have to. The old iPhone is a perfectly capable device (once you slap an oversized rubber band over it).

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Twitter off-limits for cricketers

Code Monkey

Swanny

That's a shame as Graeme Swann is quite entertaining. Anyone know of a spoof Swanny a la TheBig_Sam?

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Samsung readies Android-based iPod Touch killer

Code Monkey
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It's the Angry Birds

Personally I've no use for this but I can see parents getting their (lucky) kids one to stop them nicking their phones to play Angry Birds.

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OFT waves through UK.gov's national addressing database

Code Monkey
Stop

Great

Now where do I opt out?

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HTC takes a flyer on tablets

Code Monkey

My thoughts exactly

Hopefully they've scaled up the battery otherwise it'll flop like nobody's business!

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Google Chrome extension bars domains from search results

Code Monkey
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Experts Exchange

That was my first thought, too. And that's one bit of information I'll happily share with Google!

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HTML5 kicked into 2014

Code Monkey
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"Another three years of crushing hype"

How wonderfully, if depressingly, succint.

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Wooden spaceship descends into Moscow sandpit

Code Monkey

Life imitating art

I wonder if they got the idea by reading Omon Ra by Vicotr Pelevin.

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Flying dildo downs Oz stag party bloke

Code Monkey
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7m - wow!

Now that is impressive!

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English Defence League site pulled offline after defacement

Code Monkey

"I'm not racist, but..."

In the sense that they're "not racist, but..."

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Protection of Freedoms Bill is released

Code Monkey

A cautious welcome

I didn't know that fraud trials without jury were in the sights as well. I've always viewed jury trials as an easy target for the Tories as they can argue it's red tape in the way of getting jsutice done.

So it's a welcome from me, suspended until the fine print has been examined (by someone more clued up than I).

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Bluetooth Special Interest Group hands out cups

Code Monkey

Actually...

...the head trauma monitor does sound extremely useful (potentially a life-saving app, rather than killer app) but would, as, Dale 3 says, require a decent connection.

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Italian white van man nudges sound barrier

Code Monkey

"especially when a delivery is late"

When the driver's late for his cuppa more like!

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Android inches nearer NFC nirvana

Code Monkey
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Gingerbread is half baked

[applauds]

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Code Monkey

3 Rs

Reading, writing and spelling

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Google, antitrust, and the 'Copygate' hypocrisy

Code Monkey

bit.ly?

Post a proper URL

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Starbucks' iPhone barcode app easily scammed by screengrab

Code Monkey

Coffee is lovely...

...ss long as you're careful not to buy Starbucks' vile cups of over-roasted pish.

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Alabama sex shop owner swaps 'Guns for Toys'

Code Monkey
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Bang bang!

Only in America would they have a gun sale to raise money for crime victims. I love you all, you crazy bastards!

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iPad TWO: What, already?

Code Monkey
Troll

Clam down dear

That is all

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RealNetworks unhooks 130 employees in jobs cull

Code Monkey

So long nagware

Annoying the hell out of your userbase not a good business model? Well I never.

I'm not even that sorry for the poor basts losing their jobs.

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PSP playing boy plunges onto railway

Code Monkey
Pint

It's Friday

There'll be falling over/into things/onto things aplenty going on in and around city centre boozers the length and breadth of the UK. I'm not sure which you'd pick as the 3rd.

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Code Monkey

The child is an idiot

For once I don't blame the parents.

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Big stink over Malawi farting ban

Code Monkey

Deny everything!

Deny everything!

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Code Monkey
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Glad I'm not Malawian(?)

Having just chowed down on a big plate of veg samosas I'm grateful to live in a country with freedom of, er, gas.

First they came for the flatulent...

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