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* Posts by Code Monkey

1559 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Asus to take fight to tablets with cheap Google netbook

Code Monkey
Troll

How about the Asus Eee Pad Slider?

How about the Lenovo ThinkPad T[whatevernumberthey'reuptothesedays]?

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Code Monkey

£200 is cheap for a computer!

I agree that people have more pressing concerns than updating their computers these days but laptops still fail. The solution for your average end user (i.e. not Reg readers) is buy a new one.

I fancy Asus to make a real go of this - to be Android's iKiller. It'll need to be as good and much cheaper. It can and will be done - and I'll still want a keyboard ;o)

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News Corp to trade music for games, readies MySpace sale

Code Monkey

Wasn't the first time and it sure won't be the last

Newscorp weren't the first media company to spaff silly money over a social network and I doubt they'll be the last. New social networks are popping up at a crazy rate (connect.me, dabble.in, maybe others this month - AFAIK - alone) ready to part fools and their money.

Bubble 2.0 is under way, folks!

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EA dubs Nintendo Wii a 'legacy platform'

Code Monkey

It's aimed at a different market

We're not all hardcore gamers though. Those are the sorts of games I like* :something I can pick up for 20 minutes, dick about with, then go and do something else.

* a shame as I own a PS3 that does nothing more than regular iPlayer and the very occassional Tetris.

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Bloke with hammer fixes London's Olympic clock

Code Monkey

After this...

...losing your Omega will feel like an upgrade.

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Oracle kills Sun.com after starvation diet

Code Monkey

Sad

sun.com has been such a contstant. It's been my "test the connection" URL for 15 years.

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Microsoft calls time on Zune media player hardware

Code Monkey

Zune II

I expect that Zune's back in the list of trademarks to be reused. Somewhere below Clippy* and MS Bob*.

* may not have been trademarked. Meh.

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Code Monkey

Wow

Coming up after the break: Sinclair pulls plug on QL, C5 also at risk.

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TorrentFreak seeking copyright report’s mysterious author

Code Monkey
Joke

You wouldn't steal a car...

I would if I could download it.

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Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Numberical

It's a perfectly cromulent term. You just need to embiggen your word repository.

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Can telephony and IT work together?

Code Monkey

Use whichever's appropriate

Am I missing someting here?

If it can't wait, phone; if it can, email.

If it's some new instruction and you need to have no excuses from that feckless techie who never does his job, email and keep the read-receipts.

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Is Apple planning incompatible payments?

Code Monkey
Jobs Horns

30% idiot tax

Well worth it as another excuse to wave their bloody phones about.

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Iran to attend Olympics, despite 'racist' logo

Code Monkey

Touchy much?

As I read it, the article makes it clear it's the Iranian loony govt rather than the Iranian people that have come up with this nonsense.

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Apple bans iPhone 3G patch omission talk from forum

Code Monkey
Jobs Horns

Dear Whiner

They should buy new shiny.

Eff you

His Steveness

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Balanced, neutral journalism is RUBBISH and that's a FACT

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Re: Finnance

Damnit! Where's my coffee?

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Code Monkey
Thumb Up

PFI

Private Finnance Initiative.

Dull facts aside, I prefer yours.

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Dim Brits think TARDIS IS REAL

Code Monkey

Headline...

Maybe Reg could rewrite the headline: "Dim survey authors believe everything piss-taking Brits tell them"

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Giant 5-year-mission aerial wing-ship to fly in 2011

Code Monkey
Headmaster

Vulture I vs Vulture 1

If that's their game, it's the spaceplane equivalent of Basil Fawlty's "it's a semi-tone higher!"

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Code Monkey

400ft-wide trolley

Hopefully one with better wheels than the trolleys I'm used to down Sainsbury's.

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Code Monkey

Vulture 2?

Vulture 2? As in the successor to Vulture 1? So where does the Playmonaut sit?

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Google adds tool to block shabby, dirty, vulgar sites from search results

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Wahoo! (was yeehaw)

Sorry for the "me too" but I have to express my delight at the thought of never mistakenly clicking on Expert Sexchange ever again. Bye bye you utter scumbags!

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Lords vote for electronic devices in their chambers

Code Monkey

For any purpose not related to the proceedings

We're talking Angry Birds here aren't we?

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Chicken Little report: Sat-nav dependency spells DISASTER!

Code Monkey

That'll be fun

...when it makes it out to the provinces. Speaking for myself: if I'm lost it's usually somewhere where I don't want to pull out an Android, lest it get nicked.

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Facebook lets users report friends who post suicidal content

Code Monkey

"Target them with ads for anti-depressants?"

God that's depressingly likely. (+1)

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Legally binding e-documents: Germany pushes secure email option

Code Monkey

Progress

Having just made a sarky "progress" remark at fancy new digital billboards, this genuinely does strike me as a step forward. Good luck with this, Germans!

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Clear Channel turns digital billboards into 'store fronts'

Code Monkey

Progress

A whole new advertising paradigm! That I can ignore.

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Crime UK site gets 400m hits, drives down property values

Code Monkey

Yes, and...

Mr Knocked One Up In A Few Hours's site would've performed even worse on launch day. Bedroom coders knocking things up are not the same as creating scaleable web apps.*

* I'll concede that this wasn't a scaleable web app either after the launch day fiasco but you know what I mean...

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CBI demands action from Osborne

Code Monkey

And...

More bribes. Don't forget more bribes.

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NASA scientist spies extraterrestrial life

Code Monkey

You're right, it doesn't

BUT just because we don't have all the answers doesn't mean religions aren't a load of arsewater.

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Phantom Menace to be released in 3D next Feb

Code Monkey
Headmaster

No

We grew up to become people who recognise shite when we see it.

I'm glad your son likes it but I can't agree.

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Microsoft tablet OS to see light of day in 'autumn 2012'

Code Monkey
Headmaster

"Eke"

It's spelled "eke", but I like "eek" better.

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Julian Assange sets out bid to appeal extradition to Sweden

Code Monkey

Re: Comments enabled?

[points up] Some of us can do more than carp anonymously.

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Code Monkey

Shirley

Surely it should go a little like this:

J Ass: "I've not been charged with anything"

Court: "Oh righto, on your way then"

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WikiLeaks movie screen rights secured by DreamWorks

Code Monkey

"Manning is a dumb shite..."

That's very true.

Unfortunately us.mil seem intent on making an example of this dumb shite. He's already on suicide watch (as reported by El Reg). This seems little more than an attempt to break his spirit than to prevent him topping himself.

I really hope they don't execute this poor bastard but I fear they will.

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Code Monkey

Prob best to wait

If the US military does end up murdering Bradley Manning this could be a very different movie.

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iPlayer Global iPad app price announced

Code Monkey

Probably not

There'll always be some content that Auntie's not licenced to show outside the UK. But you will get a rake of top quality content for a tenner.

If I lived abroad, I'd cough up for it if my local connection was up to the job (and they did an Android version).

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New charge against alleged WikiLeaker carries death penalty

Code Monkey

Wikileaks

If Wikileaks had any oil you could guarantee they'd have imagined some weapons of mass destruction invaded them by now.

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Code Monkey

Re: That's a very interesting quote

It's an excellent quote. It's from 1984; that book that was once a warning and now is a template for Western government.

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Facebook to share home addresses, phone numbers

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Application X

Luckily Application X is likely to be a complete load of monkey kronk so if it asks too much, you're not really missing out by not installing it.

I don't think I've got a single app on FB and that means is my wall's less clogged up with crap. Well that and a consistent "see and app, block an app" approach...

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Ex-PM blocked Steve Jobs knighthood

Code Monkey

Re: bunch of w*****s

Lord Prescott is rubbish as well.

Now take that look off your face; if the wind changes it'll stay like that.

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Health experts flip over McD's burger-flip toy

Code Monkey

Advertising

There's talk to an advertising ban for fast food. I think they should allow it but only show fat people in the adverts.

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Nokia C1-01 budget voicephone

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Tempting

That looks like really good value for taking on hols if you fear having your smartphone nicked or aren't sure you'll be able to charge it up every night.

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Government should extend agile development for IT

Code Monkey

Agile

It's a nice buzzword to throw around.

It genuinely does make a difference at the dev team level. As for stopping IT project failure? Stop moving goalposts and stop civil servants jumping ship so often that there's no accountability.

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Self-erasing flash drives destroy court evidence

Code Monkey

They're saying...

...if you're up to no good, get an SSD

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Euro court slaps down insurers over gender risks

Code Monkey

They are already

"Is your car modified in any way (including wheels)?"

My 2p: I don't think I've ever used "it's political correctness gone mad" without taking the piss before. Gender's a genuine indicator of risk and this change will be another excuse for the insurance cartel to dick us all.

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Julian Assange™ applies to trademark himself

Code Monkey
FAIL

Oh the irony

How very dare you publish an article as "Team Register"!

yous,

AC

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Code Monkey
Pint

Pint?

Here it is. No, no, my shout.

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Apple fanbois leak secrets of Mac OS X Lion

Code Monkey

It's called...

It's called having an opinion. Now how about stopping being an AC and playing nicely?

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Code Monkey

Oh come on!

I enjoy bitching about Apple as much as the next commentard but a new version of a popular OS is news. No, really it is.

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Faces of the iPad 2 and iPhone 5 revealed

Code Monkey

Title

iMeh

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