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* Posts by Code Monkey

1553 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Microsoft calls time on Zune media player hardware

Code Monkey
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Zune II

I expect that Zune's back in the list of trademarks to be reused. Somewhere below Clippy* and MS Bob*.

* may not have been trademarked. Meh.

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Code Monkey
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Wow

Coming up after the break: Sinclair pulls plug on QL, C5 also at risk.

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TorrentFreak seeking copyright report’s mysterious author

Code Monkey
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Joke

You wouldn't steal a car...

I would if I could download it.

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Code Monkey
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Numberical

It's a perfectly cromulent term. You just need to embiggen your word repository.

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Can telephony and IT work together?

Code Monkey
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Use whichever's appropriate

Am I missing someting here?

If it can't wait, phone; if it can, email.

If it's some new instruction and you need to have no excuses from that feckless techie who never does his job, email and keep the read-receipts.

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Is Apple planning incompatible payments?

Code Monkey
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Jobs Horns

30% idiot tax

Well worth it as another excuse to wave their bloody phones about.

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Iran to attend Olympics, despite 'racist' logo

Code Monkey
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Touchy much?

As I read it, the article makes it clear it's the Iranian loony govt rather than the Iranian people that have come up with this nonsense.

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Apple bans iPhone 3G patch omission talk from forum

Code Monkey
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Jobs Horns

Dear Whiner

They should buy new shiny.

Eff you

His Steveness

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Balanced, neutral journalism is RUBBISH and that's a FACT

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

Re: Finnance

Damnit! Where's my coffee?

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Code Monkey
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PFI

Private Finnance Initiative.

Dull facts aside, I prefer yours.

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Dim Brits think TARDIS IS REAL

Code Monkey
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Headline...

Maybe Reg could rewrite the headline: "Dim survey authors believe everything piss-taking Brits tell them"

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Giant 5-year-mission aerial wing-ship to fly in 2011

Code Monkey
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Vulture I vs Vulture 1

If that's their game, it's the spaceplane equivalent of Basil Fawlty's "it's a semi-tone higher!"

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Code Monkey
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400ft-wide trolley

Hopefully one with better wheels than the trolleys I'm used to down Sainsbury's.

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Code Monkey
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Vulture 2?

Vulture 2? As in the successor to Vulture 1? So where does the Playmonaut sit?

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Google adds tool to block shabby, dirty, vulgar sites from search results

Code Monkey
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Wahoo! (was yeehaw)

Sorry for the "me too" but I have to express my delight at the thought of never mistakenly clicking on Expert Sexchange ever again. Bye bye you utter scumbags!

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Lords vote for electronic devices in their chambers

Code Monkey
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For any purpose not related to the proceedings

We're talking Angry Birds here aren't we?

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Chicken Little report: Sat-nav dependency spells DISASTER!

Code Monkey
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That'll be fun

...when it makes it out to the provinces. Speaking for myself: if I'm lost it's usually somewhere where I don't want to pull out an Android, lest it get nicked.

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Facebook lets users report friends who post suicidal content

Code Monkey
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"Target them with ads for anti-depressants?"

God that's depressingly likely. (+1)

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Legally binding e-documents: Germany pushes secure email option

Code Monkey
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Progress

Having just made a sarky "progress" remark at fancy new digital billboards, this genuinely does strike me as a step forward. Good luck with this, Germans!

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Clear Channel turns digital billboards into 'store fronts'

Code Monkey
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Progress

A whole new advertising paradigm! That I can ignore.

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Crime UK site gets 400m hits, drives down property values

Code Monkey
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Yes, and...

Mr Knocked One Up In A Few Hours's site would've performed even worse on launch day. Bedroom coders knocking things up are not the same as creating scaleable web apps.*

* I'll concede that this wasn't a scaleable web app either after the launch day fiasco but you know what I mean...

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CBI demands action from Osborne

Code Monkey
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And...

More bribes. Don't forget more bribes.

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NASA scientist spies extraterrestrial life

Code Monkey
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You're right, it doesn't

BUT just because we don't have all the answers doesn't mean religions aren't a load of arsewater.

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Phantom Menace to be released in 3D next Feb

Code Monkey
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No

We grew up to become people who recognise shite when we see it.

I'm glad your son likes it but I can't agree.

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Microsoft tablet OS to see light of day in 'autumn 2012'

Code Monkey
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Headmaster

"Eke"

It's spelled "eke", but I like "eek" better.

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Julian Assange sets out bid to appeal extradition to Sweden

Code Monkey
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Re: Comments enabled?

[points up] Some of us can do more than carp anonymously.

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Code Monkey
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Shirley

Surely it should go a little like this:

J Ass: "I've not been charged with anything"

Court: "Oh righto, on your way then"

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WikiLeaks movie screen rights secured by DreamWorks

Code Monkey
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"Manning is a dumb shite..."

That's very true.

Unfortunately us.mil seem intent on making an example of this dumb shite. He's already on suicide watch (as reported by El Reg). This seems little more than an attempt to break his spirit than to prevent him topping himself.

I really hope they don't execute this poor bastard but I fear they will.

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Code Monkey
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Prob best to wait

If the US military does end up murdering Bradley Manning this could be a very different movie.

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iPlayer Global iPad app price announced

Code Monkey
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Probably not

There'll always be some content that Auntie's not licenced to show outside the UK. But you will get a rake of top quality content for a tenner.

If I lived abroad, I'd cough up for it if my local connection was up to the job (and they did an Android version).

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New charge against alleged WikiLeaker carries death penalty

Code Monkey
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Wikileaks

If Wikileaks had any oil you could guarantee they'd have imagined some weapons of mass destruction invaded them by now.

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Code Monkey
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Re: That's a very interesting quote

It's an excellent quote. It's from 1984; that book that was once a warning and now is a template for Western government.

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Facebook to share home addresses, phone numbers

Code Monkey
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Application X

Luckily Application X is likely to be a complete load of monkey kronk so if it asks too much, you're not really missing out by not installing it.

I don't think I've got a single app on FB and that means is my wall's less clogged up with crap. Well that and a consistent "see and app, block an app" approach...

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Ex-PM blocked Steve Jobs knighthood

Code Monkey
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Re: bunch of w*****s

Lord Prescott is rubbish as well.

Now take that look off your face; if the wind changes it'll stay like that.

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Health experts flip over McD's burger-flip toy

Code Monkey
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Advertising

There's talk to an advertising ban for fast food. I think they should allow it but only show fat people in the adverts.

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Nokia C1-01 budget voicephone

Code Monkey
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Tempting

That looks like really good value for taking on hols if you fear having your smartphone nicked or aren't sure you'll be able to charge it up every night.

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Government should extend agile development for IT

Code Monkey
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Agile

It's a nice buzzword to throw around.

It genuinely does make a difference at the dev team level. As for stopping IT project failure? Stop moving goalposts and stop civil servants jumping ship so often that there's no accountability.

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Self-erasing flash drives destroy court evidence

Code Monkey
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They're saying...

...if you're up to no good, get an SSD

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Euro court slaps down insurers over gender risks

Code Monkey
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They are already

"Is your car modified in any way (including wheels)?"

My 2p: I don't think I've ever used "it's political correctness gone mad" without taking the piss before. Gender's a genuine indicator of risk and this change will be another excuse for the insurance cartel to dick us all.

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Julian Assange™ applies to trademark himself

Code Monkey
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FAIL

Oh the irony

How very dare you publish an article as "Team Register"!

yous,

AC

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Code Monkey
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Pint

Pint?

Here it is. No, no, my shout.

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Apple fanbois leak secrets of Mac OS X Lion

Code Monkey
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It's called...

It's called having an opinion. Now how about stopping being an AC and playing nicely?

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Code Monkey
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Oh come on!

I enjoy bitching about Apple as much as the next commentard but a new version of a popular OS is news. No, really it is.

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Faces of the iPad 2 and iPhone 5 revealed

Code Monkey
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Title

iMeh

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Anon Mail commenters to stay anon

Code Monkey
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Sensible and reasonable readers

I get the impression that a lot of Guardian readers troll the Mail fora (and vice versa).

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Judge shows common sense?

Blimey. Maybe there's some hope for this sad island after all.

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US scientists build laser-killing device

Code Monkey
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Coat

"absorbing 99.999 per cent of incoming light"

They've invented the priest's sock?

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South African dam sluices 609 elephants per second

Code Monkey
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African

South African dam, African elephants.

If Indian dams ever break the 600 (African) elephant per second barrier, then we can start to argue.

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Code Monkey
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Nice

Especially as this would rate the dam at a magnificent 3654 PPM.

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Code Monkey
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Elephants per second

That has just shot to the top of my list of favourite measurements, wiping the floor with the Wales and even beating the Bulgarian Airbag.

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