* Posts by Code Monkey

1572 posts • joined 16 Oct 2008

Lego space shuttle hits 114,000ft

Code Monkey

Agreed

A total cop out (or kopp out in deference to the German legospacemeisters?)

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Ford: kick your car to open the boot

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Lots of potential downsides for Ford to guard against, as my astute fellow commentards have listed above but it does strike me as a very pleasing gesture.

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LOHAN is heading towards REHAB

Code Monkey
Pint

LOHAN to REHAB

Oh you guys!

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No 10 develops Terminator iPad app 'to fire ministers'

Code Monkey

Cut spending FAIL

Cut national debt FAIL

Reduce unemployment FAIL

Economic recovery FAIL

Greater civil liberties FAIL

Sack yourself, Dave

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Audi shows off OLED-illuminated concept R8

Code Monkey

Vorsprung Durch Arsehole

You really don't need fancy lights to telegraph you're a complete tool. The Audi badge does that well enough already.

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Lithuania rules beer brewing 'vitally essential' to life

Code Monkey

Re: Unitie?

The difference being Unite won't be trying to "bomb some sense" into Carlsberg.

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Code Monkey

Re: "Have you ever actually been there?"

Yes. From memory both the local water and local beer were excellent.

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Oz says 41 hits a day turn bloggers into publishers

Code Monkey

Re: What's a pageview?

Tis true. I contribute to a blog and reckon at least half my stories' hits are me, concerned that I've made another typo.

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Asteroid could SMASH INTO EARTH in 2040

Code Monkey
Pint

"over the course of millions of light years"

What's that in linguini?

Beer, well, because.

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Code Monkey

Re: The most important thing...

We can send Bieber up there. It won't change the course of the KILLER SPACEROCK but it'll be a definite improvement.

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Hackers print tiny Linux box to net up your home

Code Monkey
Trollface

Both board and box have rounded corners. Are Apple's lawyers aware of this?

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El Reg appoints Special Projects Burro

Code Monkey

Duties? No lo sé.

Just keep Aladdin away from any church towers.

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Cray gets graphic with big data

Code Monkey

Urika-ka-ka-kaaaa. That is all.

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Brits guard Facebook passwords more than work logins – survey

Code Monkey

Trusting your colleagues

That sounds about right to me. I'd trust my colleagues with my work stuff, but never ever with anything personal.

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Fujitsu flaunts Tegra 3 for future phones

Code Monkey

"A long battery life"

With five cores I'd be surprised if it lasted past lunchtime

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NASA sniffs little black hole's 20-million-MPH wind

Code Monkey

Re: Re: Holiday resort!

We could make a special ship for their holiday. How about we call it the "B Ark"?

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Met Office wants better supercomputer to predict EXTREME weather

Code Monkey

Re: Re: Re: The real problem ...

You seem to be confusing "global climate" with "the weather where you are".

I'm not making a comment on whether or not climate change is genuine (I'm yet to be convinced by either camp) - just on your straw man argument.

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Code Monkey

I'd say they have a bad rep because a lot of people don't understand probability. So if they say there's an 80% chance of rain, then if it doesn't rain people say they're wrong.

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Scroogle unplugged for good this time

Code Monkey

Seeing as we're splitting hairs...

Enter keywords, get search results. It's a search engine, just not one with its own index.

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LOHAN's flying truss: One orb or two?

Code Monkey

Re: Maybe

IIRC the PARIS release mechanism froze and the bursting of the balloon freed it. A happy accident.

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British Medical Association calls for long, slow rollout of NHS 111

Code Monkey

Re: NHS 24 is fine

But this is 87 louder </spinal tap>

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LOHAN flashes fantastical flying truss

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Re: Warren girder

Tried, tested and (IMO) rather pretty retro.

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Foursquare ousted? Google sneaks out Latitude leader boards

Code Monkey
Facepalm

Re: Dear world at large

"I have just unlocked the telling the burglars I'm not in badge on 4square"

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Apple's Messages beta will self-destruct on Mountain Lion launch

Code Monkey

iBuddy

Good grief.

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Reptile boffins spot world's smallest chameleon

Code Monkey

Re: Re: Re: Aren't ALL Darwin Awards posthumous?

@darkmage0707077 very true. Also true for the posthumous awards.

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Code Monkey

Re: Aren't ALL Darwin Awards posthumous?

No. You can receive one while alive by losing your ability to reproduce.

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Code Monkey
Black Helicopters

They say tiny chameleon, I say MASSIVE FINGER!

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Paper PCs design rolled out

Code Monkey

Re: environmentally friendly?

Agree on the recycling point but the "cut down more trees" argument is bogus. They do replant commercial forests aferwards.

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Swiss space-cleaning bot grabs flying junk, hurls itself into furnace

Code Monkey

They're doing it wrong

We need to get some Wombles in space suits.

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Black Ops has best videogame ending ever

Code Monkey

Being strictly honest I never completed it "properly". I just did the poke to reduce the number of items to collect.

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Code Monkey

Jet Set Willy

(one for the teenagers)

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MySpace no longer crying a river with 1 MILLION new punters

Code Monkey

Who are these people?

I bet it's a million bots.

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Apple's secret outsource: 'Even more software to be made in India'

Code Monkey
Trollface

But this is Apple

People will overlook shoddy software if it comes in a pretty enough box.

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TicketWeb coughs to email database hack

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

I received a couple and smelled a rat. Not that difficult a rat to smell. As you say, Ticketweb asking me to update Acrobat Reader is odd. I am a bit miffed about the deulge of spam I can now expect.

Fessing up to the breach (and quickly) is to Ticketweb's credit, though. Keeping quiet about it would've been a lot more helpful to the spamming basts wot done it.

So a qualified thumbs up.

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ESA's first Vega rocket blasts off without a hitch

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

[applauds]

Fookin ell that was a quick liftoff!

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LOHAN lifts skirt on 3D printed parts

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Shapeways

I've had a couple of "off the shelf" bits from Shapeways and they did a very good job indeed.

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Coming to a continent near you: America

Code Monkey
Trollface

And time for Americans to *get* passports.

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Airport bomb Twitter joker in second fine appeal bid

Code Monkey

Sitting on the fence

"Everyone is wrong" is all too often the right assessment

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Royal astro-boffin to MPs: Stop thinking about headlines

Code Monkey
Joke

Hapless animals

The MPs have to be involved. That's the point.

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Code Monkey
Trollface

"if Britain is to haul its sorry ass into the next century"

Let's run before we can walk. How about dragging its sorry ass into the current century?

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Indonesian train roof fare-dodgers given the brush off

Code Monkey
Joke

No way are they letting mobile phone users on my open air smoking platform. I want to enjoy a cancer stick in peace and quiet thankyouverymuch!

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Toshiba releases 'world's thinnest' Android tablet

Code Monkey

"but it'll only be available from Carphone Warehouse"

That's a shame. Roll on when my contract's up and I can ditch CW.

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Prehistoric cricket love songs recreated for your listening pleasure

Code Monkey
Thumb Up

Uncovered wickets, Chris Tavaré, etc. and so on.

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Code Monkey

I was hoping for something like Lord Beginner's Cricket Lovely Cricket. Imagine my disappointment!

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Printed jaw lets woman swallow again

Code Monkey

c) never want to travel on a plane. If they're touchy about 101ml of toothpaste, they'll really have a sense of humour failure about adamantium claws

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US tweet deportation: Chilling behind-the-scenes photos

Code Monkey
Pint

"medical staff quickly discover just where he's hidden the shovel he intended to use to disinter Marilyn Monroe"

I'm torn between the keyboard and beer icons.

Have a Friday beer on me Sr Reg!

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Jackpot: astronomers tag Goldilocks planet

Code Monkey

Supergiant shrimp

The question of how they taste has already cropped up. As they're built to survive at a depth of 7km I reckon they might be a bit chewy.

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Facebook IPO: Boom or bubble?

Code Monkey

El Reg's readers might block FB's ads. The majority of users don't.

Not arguing they're worth this ludicrous valuation but their business model isn't complete arsewater.

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JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

Code Monkey
Windows

Maybe that's why so many people voted for the shittrumpet, then.

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Japan takes second shot at extraterrestrial sampling with Hayabusa 2

Code Monkey

It'll be like WWII. They'll spend years denying there's a problem then show up late.

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