Here I am, brain the size of a planet and all they ask me is to drill a hole in a rock
2919 posts • joined 24 Apr 2007
Re: "Anthill inside"
Got that t-shirt, will wear it with more pride. It generally takes my CS students a little while to realise I am not wearing a T-shirt with an Intel ad.
What I will miss most about Terry Pratchett is the warmth and love of humanity with all its shortcomings that oozes from all his work. The one thing that really offended him is "treating people like things". He was a wonderful man with an unparallelled talent
I really hope the probe wakes up from its hybernation without issues. I cannot help wondering if, when it wakes up, Philae will say:
"I have worked out that if I stick my left arm in my right ear, I can electrocute myself ..., terminally"
"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed"
"It's c c cold"
No, that's not tea on the keyboard
Just some drool, that's all
The shallow end of the gene pool
Even by the standards of the general internet, this is an extreme load of vacuous twaddle. I would not want to spend any time in the presence of said Tawnie, let alone in the confined spaces of an elevator, where the stench of her (no doubt liberally applied) perfume would probably trigger an allergic attack. Besides, to paraphrase the immortal words of Marvin the Paranoid Android: "I get a headache trying to think down to their level"
It just struck me
No need for technology, I will just pass the caller to "my boss", and then do one of my celebrated Brian Blessed impersonations. Did one on holidays in the Alps recently, and had my kids in stitches.
ARE YE DEEEEEEAAAAAF!!!
Re: Just waiting
Very much like the "remark" tool the BOFH taught novice computer users about years back. Easily invoked using the usual UNIX abbreviation "rm"
I got one too, once or twice
I really, really really would like that remote BOFH-enhanced cattleprod functionality on the phone going.
Them: <indian accent> Hello mr. Wilkinson, I am calling from Microsoft Tech Support
Me: Hello, you may call me Simon
Them: <indian accent> Sir, your computer >>KZZEERT<<
Alternatively, I would like to wire a fax machine, enhanced to 120dB volume, to answer their questions
Re: They dared to defile the White City of the Monkey God?
Yeah, but don't forget the Monkey God's Mum (MGM). She is going to go ON and ON and ON to the poor Monkey God:
MGM: "See! I TOLD you to keep your forest tidy! You are ALWAYS losing things in it!"
Monkey God: "But, mum, I ..."
MGM: "I mean, HOW can you lose an entire CITY! This never would have happened to your cousin Kevin!"
Monkey God: "But mum, ..."
MGM: "Just think of what your dad will say when he comes home, and he hears humans have found it for you"
Monkey God: "Yes, but mum, ..."
MGM: "And I bet you haven't said thank you to those nice men from the SAS and National Geographic for finding your city again"
Monkey God: "But,..."
MGM: "Now go to your room and tidy THAT, or it's no human sacrifices for you for the next 500 years!"
Monkey God: "Yes, mum. Alright, mum"
Like my M8, will keep it for a while yet, but I like the fact that I can get something very much like it for a while yet,
Re: Getting OLD !!
I know the feeling. Take comfort in the fact that getting old means you are certainly succeeding in the first half of "Live long and prosper", so keep up the good work, and prosper
Re: BESSHHT GRAPH IN THE WORLD!!
I see! it is a descriptive graph rather than prescriptive. And exactly because the near terminally inebriated cannot read it, they will follow it
BESSHHT GRAPH IN THE WORLD!!
The only downside is that the totally inebriated might not be in a fit state to follow the instructions
I recently found a company nearby
that will build a laptop to my specs for a very reasonable price AND you buy the OS separately. No bloatware, nothing you did not ask for.
Sounds sweeter every day.
I'll check the (older) Lenovo machine, in which I already deinstalled a load of stuff after buying it, for superfish
"and even those were considered void if "extremists" were involved."
And who exactly got to decide that somebody is an extremist? MI6? Any other spooks?
Is that a black helicopter I hear?
Maybe you could implement peril-sensitive sunglasses this way ;-)
I thought the Toba super-volcano eruption took care of that
That fact won't stop Hollywood/Discovery Channel/History Channel/BBC, etc making a new disaster movie/"documentary" along the lines of WHAT IF A RED DWARF CAME WITHIN 0.8 AU OF EARTH, WERE ALL DOOMED!!!
Flares would have to be HUGE to be visualle impressive for Neanderthals
Hate to pour cold water over the nice idea that Neanderthals would have been startled by flares of Scholz's Star., but a little back of the envelope calculations shows this is unlikely:
The star would have been about magnitude 10.3 in the night sky at shortest distance to earth, apparently. This means that to be visible a flare would need to raise the brightness by 4.3 magnitudes to reach magnitude 6 (drop on the magnitude scale = increase in brightness). This is possible in the blue band, but in the visual band (roughly corresponding to the rods in the retina) it is more likely to observe just one or two magnitudes increase, keeping the star well hidden. Only a 6 or 7 magnitude increase would make the star noticable (but still rather mediocre), and something like 12 magnitudes would be needed to rival the planets. This is VERY unlikely
Still a very interesting report
We're doomed, DOOMED, DOOMED, I say!!!!
At ease, Fraser!
The sun almost always provides a lot of fireworks. It must have been difficult to select the best bits
You can actually sample the solar dynamics from down here: this shot was taken from the pavement across the road from my house (74 pane mosaic). However, whenever UK (or Dutch in my case) weather conspires against that (i.e. a lot of the time) it is lovely to visit NASAs sites which provide many such image (some like GONG H-alpha nearly at real time).
The transits seem to be Venus, judging by the size of the disk
Unavoidable Cynewulf / Tolkien link
Eala Earendel, Engla beorhtast
Ofer middangeard monnum sended
Nah, we're safe
Alien's receiving the webgasm will conclude that this could not possibly come from a sentient life form, and start looking for errors in their analysis software, or check they weren't getting stray signals from some passing Teaser. You know, rich kids with nothing better to do than finding planets like ours, landing next to some poor guy who nobody is ever going to believe and strut around wearing silly antennae making bepp-beep noises (childish really)
It might well be useful for some specialists
Very big displays of very big data (actually, many images I work on are a lot bigger: 40kx40k). Having a powerful machine with massive GPU grunt and a big screen, that resolution would be very nice. On my tablet, not so much, on my laptop, a more modest improvement in resolution would be better
Love the work they are doing
I love the way these guys keep pushing forward. It does bring back fond childhood memories of the Apollo era.
Keep at it SpaceX!
Bad day for democracy
How can people vote if the are kept in the dark not so much about what a government does (because some things need to be kept secret), but about the very reasons for the secrecy. Another important issue is that justice must be meted out in public so that it can be seen to be done, and scrutinized. Secret courts are anathema to democracy.
Re: Does not compute...
Rich people need not have made their fortune, someone else could have made it for them. For example, they could simply inherit it. No intelligence, or indeed any other talent, is needed.
The selected icon is a "shining" example of this
(note: Paris might not be as stupid as she apparently likes to appear, but her wealth does not stem from any talent she may or may not have)
It's a good thing these are dogs
Dogs have a master
Cats (unadulterated ones, at least) have personel
I'll raise a glass to that ---> should be filled with wine, I know
Wadyamean, you need a different glass for wine?
Re: Ah yes...
Isn't that robo reader of yours simply an electronic monk? Remember not to cross link it to a video recorder programmed to watch 17 boring channels simultaneously. Can cause trouble
Re: Listen and understand
I thought Fox News already employed robots programmed to disagree with EVERYTHING the Democrats propose
Sounds like a step in the rigt direction
Some sense being brought to (a part of) the US patent system, that is a pleasant surprise. The fact that it comes from IEEE rather than USPTO is not much of a surprise
When philae wakes up
we might hear
"I appear to be lying at the bottom of a deep, dark hole. That seems a familiar concept, what does it remind me of?... Ah, yes! ...Life. Maybe if I lie still and ignore it, it will go away again"
Alternatively, we might just receive a message:
"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed"
OK, I'm going. The one with the cassette tapes of the HHGTTG radio play in the pocket please
Re: Is ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuitjoina.club still available?
what about iamdetritusanddisismy.club?
OK, time to go, the one with Thud in the pocket please
Very nice exercise in minimalist programming
especially in an age where a word processing package has minimum requirements in terms of memory and compute power equivalent to a Cray Y-MP. Hats of (the black fedora again) to the programmer.
The art of compact programming is not totally dead, of course. People working on embedded systems can do some really neat work. We also let student program Arduino boards, which also requires a fair degree of discipline in terms of memory use.
Re: Not so close, really
True, but then we might think it's a long way to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space. Listen....
Nice to see more data come from Rosetta. It will be interestig to see if and how the composition of dust particles changes as the comet becomes more active near the sun. Also looking forward to Philae waking up again as it approaches the sun.
Re: Not Again
Gentlemen: Please do not feed the troll
Good to see progress being made. I don't care muc for all the political grand-standing, but applaud the engineering efforts that with get more people into space at lower (if still eye-watering) cost.
Re: So now we've got...
Victims would perhaps be less terrified of the robo-vampire if it wore a black ribbon
I'm going. The one with Carpe Jugulum in the pocket please
"MSHTML Trident engine that’s been the bedrock of IE."
I know some web developers who would argue it is not so much bedrock as quicksand. Bergholt Stuttley Johnson seems to have been involved according to some.
In situations like this, I find it useful
to consult this book I have, with some large, friendly letters on the cover.
Send in Mick Dundee!
He'll sort those crocs out, no worries!!
Re: Sky surveys
They would be very faint, and move VERY slowly with respect to the stars. Most big surveys are looking for faster-moving objects (NEOs will mmove a lot faster than trans-Neptune objects)
OS wars are so last decade
I personally do not care. I have worked on (and fumed at) very many versions of Windows, Linux, Unix, Android, and OS-X. I am old enough to have worked on VAX-VMS, RSX-11 on PDP-11 and CDC Cyber NOS (nicknamed either No Operating System or Nasty Operating System), CPM (2.0 and 68K), and more DOS version than I care to mention.
I just want a tool that works. Android works nicely on my HTC phone, and ASUS transformer pad, Windows 8 (with classic shell) works for my kids and missus, and for me in data acquisition behind me telescope, and Linux works on many (non-mobile) machines I need to get my work done. Try processing some of my image and volume data on a mobile device: giga-pixel and tera-pixel range (single images, not a database that size). On the other hand, I don't do web browsing on a cluster. I have considered getting a MacBook Pro as a replacement for my ancient Sony Vaio (lack of nVidia card on their 13" bothered me, not the OS). Different tools for different tasks.
Re: So they can see planets so far away but no high quality Moon pics ?
Unless a tinfoil hat got in the way, I really do not understand what you are getting at
There are plenty high quality moon, Mars, Jupiter, Mercury, Venus pictures about and have been for decades. The resolution just gets higher and higher.
Possible solution from a place which is not Australia, but very, ... well, Australian
They really should go for the Ecksian solution: put anybody who becomes PM in jail instantly (saves time, after all). Could be extended to any political office.
What odds will the bookies give on
The baby ...
1. throws it out of the cot/pram/playpen
2. manages to break it within a day
3. has it stolen by an elder sibling so it's never in the right place
4. consistently holds it in the wrong way
5. is terrified by the glowing heart
"... In truth, I can think of no better way to describe our failure to drop support for the Dual EC DRBG algorithm as anything other than regrettable,"
I can think of better ways, in fact we are spoiled for choice:
"Cynical" immediately springs to mind
"Amateurish" given the way they handled it
"Wannabe Machiavellian" because it blew up in their faces, as was always likely
and many, many more
Re: Positioned as the badass mainframe to put in your office
"At least you will know how to operate it, contrary to that darn espresso-monstrosity that nearly cost as much and now only collects dust while you suffer the humiliation that is Nespresso."
How hard can operating an espresso machine be? Does yours have black buttons labelled in black letters on a black background with little black lights that light up black to show that you have done it? We have a pretty swanky espresso machine at home, and even I can operate that.
And I don't even drink coffee (to me coffee is to my taste buds like Vogon poetry is to my ears, and no, that is not due to how I make coffee)
Do the USAF want those?
Clearly designed with stealth technology for low radar footprint. Could be useful to a BOFH
Beancounters footprint not so small, I would guess; they would be alerted by big budget hole, but no visible kit to show for it
OK, I'm going