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* Posts by Michael H.F. Wilkinson

2365 posts • joined 24 Apr 2007

30,000 Shreks besmirch BeautifulPeople

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Joke

Beauty may be skin deep

but ugly goes to the bone

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Boffin

average != median

see title

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Kindle Store awash with auto-generated crap 'books'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

Spam books could be called

Bookalikes?

Mine's the one with the hardback Terry Pratchett

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Apple iMac 27in

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Expensive?

My first PC (386 @ 25MHz with a (then) staggering 4MB of RAM, 1MB of video RAM, 88MB SCSI hard disk cost something like 5000 euros in todays money.

Will still be going for a PC upgrade rather than a Mac now. For that price I can get a compute beast with latest NVidia board and HUGE memory and a pretty serious 27" monitor. Not for gaming, but GPU accelerated volume rendering and analysis. We are getting more and more macs in our institute though. A lot of people like them.

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BOFH: CSI Haxploitation Cube Farm Apocalypse

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coffee/keyboard

"reverse polarising the bit pattern"

Trek-speak applied to (CSI-)IT!! Brilliant stuff!! I should try this here some time

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Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Thumb Up

Of any film

really

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Pirate

Still better than U571

otherwise it would have been an American squadron of B17s or the like, and Barnes Wallis would be from MIT.

Where is a bomb icon when you need it?

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World IPv6 Day fails to kill the internet

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

Hey, psst,

wanna buy an IP address?

Can't you just imagine shady types approaching you in the street?

Coat, well, because, the shady types will be wearing them

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Netherlands first European nation to adopt net neutrality

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Calling the VVD liberal

is like calling Margaret Thatcher a moderate conservative. On the other hand, they are probably as liberal in practice as Nick Clegg is today.

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Psychology graduates remain poor for life, study shows

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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But the highest paid academics are

software architects and engineers.

Tell this to potential students and you suddenly have their attention.

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Engineering students design tent for camping on Mars

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Alien

And for the kids

an inflatable bouncy castle?

Seriously though, nice idea!

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Wake up, Linux hippies: No one 'morally obligated' to give back

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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What is the price of goodwill?

For any company, being seen to be a "good guy" in the (often simplistic) public image is worth a lot,even if it cannot be expressed in money. Ethics and corporate responsibility are becoming more and more important in shaping that public image, if nothing else. This too may be seen as selfish, but it is not expressed either in terms of money or contractual obligations.

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Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Monastery of the Holy Crotch

rather than Holy Cross.

Easy mistake to make

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Bloke drives with knees while manipulating two mobes

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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I wonder

what an Iranian court would mete out in punishment? Hand cut off for using the phones? Knees cut of for being used in steering? Cut the whole lot of just to be sure?

Questions, questions.

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Facepalm

If he had plastered himself against a wall

he would be clear Darwin Award material. Room temperature IQ apparently.

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Fourth Euro star truck christened Albert Einstein

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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That's not a moon !!

Actually, it is, as far as I can see

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Drink 8 bottles of wine, you'll be unharmed if hit by Mike Tyson

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Pint

Better still,

give the eight bottles of wine to the boxer. He would then miss, or simply fall over (and claim "You're the bessshht palllll I've EVER had !!!")

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Alien

But there are voluntary organizations

on most planets to help you rehabilitate from drinking a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

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Humanity frees cattle, buffalo from cloven-hoofed plague

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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IT Angle

So my virus scanner

no longer needs to scan for this?

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Yanks officially recognise the word 'boffin'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

Standradization of whinges: a valid point

Indeed, if you shout it's not a whinge, it's a complaint. A mega-whinge is either a whinge that that has high temporal extent, or one that is just extremely annoying, despite being brief. A standardization committee is required to make this more precise: the words kilo-, mega-, giga- and tera-whinge should not be used frivolously!!

I'll get me coat

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Asus teases with MacBook Air-esque Eee PC

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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I know what's missing in the picture!

The EeePC girl!

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Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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(Actually you could get all these stories the same day).

On the same page, side by side

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Pirate

Requires different icon

<--- more appropriate.

ARRH

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Terry Pratchett knows

It was concocted late at night under the influence of large quantities of beer. You know, the same school of culinary thought that gave us deep-fried pizza.

(See "The Last Continent")

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Oz paper in todger-based trivia quiz outrage

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Megaphone

Think of the children!!!!

Please, think of the children

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Steve Ballmer window-dresses Windows 8

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

"chair throwing tosser"

Would that not be simply "chair tosser"

I'll get me coat

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ESA: British Skylon spaceplane seems perfectly possible

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Alien

May I be the first to

Welcome or Skylon overlords

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Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Alien

As I know well,

I even met a guy who worked a while as a driver for a couple of cheap green biros.

Alien, because, well, pens are aliens.

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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I did lose a pen last Saturday

maybe it has gone to heaven?

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Extragalactic black hole particle fountain awesomeness

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Lovely pics

even prettier to me as I have just recently seen the host galaxy through big binoculars during a visit down-under. Awesome stuff!

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Media, industry and cops baffled as Qld Police return hack’s iPad

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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And then they wonder

why so many use the word "plod" to describe policemen (no disrespect to the better policemen out there intended).

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BOFH: Attack of the Global Corporate Overlords

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Pint

That's worthy of a prize!!

Brilliant start of the weekend!!

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Thumb Up

Thanks, I needed that!

see title

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

The PFY really wanted to have

a remove cattle prod app in this episode, didn't he.

Signalling "kill them all" in Morse code with your facial tick is brilliant, just brilliant, must work on that!

Mine's the one with the Morse code manual in the pocket

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£1.1bn Royal Navy warship finally armed, sort of

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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cricket ball travelling at Mach 3

so at least we have a defense against serious fast bowlers!!

Useful, that.

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Interstellar space 'full of Jupiter-size orphan planets'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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We have been here for some 4,500,000,000 years

so I think there is no need to panic

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Boffin

Even if their number was 100 times the number of stars

it would not be sufficient to make up the gap between directly observed mass and the mass apparent from gravitational pull of galaxies. This is because Jupiter-sized planets are only a fraction of the mass of a star, and there is a huge amount of missing mass (only 6% is observable, might become 12% with the lone planets, but still 88% missing). On the other hand, our model of gravity may be wrong.

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Boffin

Brown dwarf is what you are looking for

Stars form differently from planets, and Jupiter is less than 10% of the mass needed to even become a brown dwarf. At 13 Jupiter masses, some deuterium fusion can take place, but about 75-80 Jupiter masses are need to become a main sequence star.

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Planet with British weather found 20 light years away

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Boffin

No liquid need for tidal lock

Look at our moon! Nicely locked, and no liquid core. Slight deformation is enough.

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Boffin

God created integers

all the rest was man-made

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CATS to be saved by BLASPHEMERS after the RAPTURE

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coffee/keyboard

Note to self: get waterproof keyboard

The people who cooked this up must have thought: "I have a plan so cunning if you gave it a tail you would call it a weasel!"

This is such a brilliant way to get money out of people. Even if the believers in the rapture wake up rather bemusedly on May 22, you can still say: You simply paid an insurance premium, we will pay out (in the form of pet care) when judgment day does arrive.

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Designer punts ultimate customisable keyboard

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coat

Looks like an intriguing idea

but can it blow and suck like in the Apple patent?

do you then get customisable blow and suck??

sorry, I will get my coat

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Apple seeks patent for keyboard that sucks

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coffee/keyboard

and another cup of tea goes over the keyboard

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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where do yoo file?

USPTO, obviously

You may need to add a smugness detector (like that of Marvin the paranoid android)

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Bin Laden's porn stash: Too good to be true?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Coffee/keyboard

New keyboard please

"Let's face it, the only way the US administration could have got more column inches out of the outrage was if bin Laden had been caught in bed with a Las Vegas hooker and a bottle of Scotch, toking on a post-coital spliff while reading The Satanic Verses."

Nice one, that

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BOFH: Every silver lining has a cloud

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Flame

I prefer

the miniature blow-torches micro-flame makes, but a 100W soldering iron will do

Flames, because, well, that's what a microflame produces

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Pint

Treat yourself!!

Have a stapling gun as well

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Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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Or try to catch it

when it falls

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Is there anything to find on bin Laden's hard drive?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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VI

= Venom Incarnate!

Obviously

Fully paid-up member of the Church of Emacs

;-)

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Watchdog sniffs Rihanna's 'gently thrusting buttocks'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson
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I do not mind the performances

provided I do not have to watch (and I do have a remote control). I am much more worried at the kids looking at violence (including such mindless crap as pokemon/bakugan/dragonballz/insert other crud advert for crap toys posting as cartoon) than sex.

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