Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Only a genius can come up with stuff like that. I just love his off-the-wall humour
2757 posts • joined 24 Apr 2007
Only a genius can come up with stuff like that. I just love his off-the-wall humour
It is of course possible to create your own custom universe in your office, so you can research stories in the daytime, and still go to parties in the evening.
Where I read that? Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy of course
OK, so I would like one universe to go, with extra Ford Prefect and Zaphod Beeblebrox, but hold the One Direction, Justin Bieber, and the entire Kardashian clan
whether the old man wouldn't have preferred to have been presented with six erotic dancers before his death.
Stegosaurus is OK, but I was much more a T. rex or Ankylosaurus fan as a kid (and I still haven't grown up according to my missus)
Ah, the old Olivetti's. My physical scars have healed by now. I would much more prefer to take an axe to them and "give them a reprogramming they will never forget" to paraphrase Ford Prefect's words to Eddy, the shipboard computer.
When he fired his first shot, did he get a message:
Windows has detected new hardware:
9mm Hi-point compatibe bullet
Please wait until proper drivers have been installed
Sorry, just couldn't resist, I'll get me coat
most fittingly will be
Sorry, couldn't resist.
When it goes, I will raise a glass to this plucky Messenger's contribution to science (and also to all those engineers and scientists who made it possible.
Yep, must agree there. I am quite pragmatic when it comes to software, we have some CUDA stuff running here so nVidia is needed. I used to download the nVidia propriatary drivers, but I have run into two instances where they borked the system. Scrapping the nVidia stuff and switching to nouveau sorted it, and let me keep some older hardware alive. If nVidia ships working stuff I will happily install it again, but not before I am sure it won't bork my system again.
Certainly worthy cause for a party. My son was really chuffed to hear the flyby is on his birthday. I will certainly raise a glass to both occasions
"Does the world want a president who is unaware of the passing of IDE and the ascent of SATA?"
Well, the more serious issue is: Does the world want a president who wants to be president, as it is a well-known and much lamented fact that those people who most want to rule people are ipso facto those least suited for the job.
The one with the cassette tapes of the Hitchikers Guide radio play in the pocket please
It being India, is the pepper spray Vindaloo flavour?
I'll get my coat. The one with the menu of the Indian takeaway in the pocket, please
And slood? Have you taught them about slood yet?
Fusion? Why not skip fusion and get into bistromathics directly
Hey, did you also hitch a ride with a teaser?
I must say I will not use Windows as a service should it materialize. I was considering buying Photoshop, but the new CC versions with their rental model really don't appeal to me. I can understand renting storage space, paying monthly for a mobile phone subscription, but not my software. A key reason is that I want to decide when and indeed if I want to upgrade software. The "as a service" model will almost certainly foist stuff on me that I neither want nor need.
Others may of course have different ideas, but I like to have more control over the software on my machine than most, perhaps
I don't know, both have their merits. Whereas Brontosaurus burgers are perfect for your barbecue, Apatosaurus apetizers can be very tasty, especially with a strong wasabi dip.
Scans the skies for Vogon constructor fleets, just in case
put a smile on my face this special day. Muons used to penetrate concrete was pushing it, however. mu neutrinos combined with the (relatively nearby) Super Kamiokande neutrino detector might have been a nice touch.
Still, full points for a funny story
But what is missing in the picture of Earth is a little arrow saying "You are here" for that total perspective vortex effect. You would also need to extrapolate the current state of the entire universe from a small piece of fairy cake, for the full effect, of course.
Darwin award, that is.
One at least deserves a nomination now
Hook up the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 submeson brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian motion generator (say a cup of hot tea), feed it the improbability for an infinite improbability drive, and away you go. No more mucking about in hyperspace.
Unless you want to deal with Bistromathics, of course
just reverse the polarity of the neutron flux!
Superb idea: I see a new role for Brian Blessed giving masterclasses: ARE YE DEEEEEFFFF!!
It will get worse. They should take a paracetamol, and have a little lie down.
What I do not get is that they complain about encryption provided by technology firms, whereas I can happily send one-time-pad encrypted messages through open channels without anybody being able to crack them. The only problem is getting the pad to my intended receiver (not too hard really). The "algorithm" is extremely simple, all you need is to do bitwise XOR with a stream of random bits (easily obtained from any natural noise source).
There are many less strong ways of sending encrypted data through open channels in such a way that it isn't even readily visible (steganography). Thus, if bad guys want to encrypt stuff, they can already do that. Given that fact: what do they really lose if they are no longer able to view everybody's mail? The ability to leer at somebody's selfies?
I might have expressed that a bit more succinctly, but I do agree that allowing people to discriminate based on their religious beliefs is plain wrong. It could readily be argued that this is unconstitutional. After all, it didn't say: "all men are created equal, but some more equal than others" last time I looked
Really good idea.
The only thing that could go wrong now is if they give it one of their silly names, like BØNK Shelter, or so ;-)
Brilliant, nice end of the week story
Off course, if your encryption is REALLY good, they won't know it's there
The older 13" Macbook were equipped with an nVidia graphics card, and as such offered support for code our students develop in CUDA, and had sufficient graphics grunt for 3D visualization code we develop. The later ones don't. Real shame, because I hate lugging a 15" along for conferences. As my code is OS agnostic, I was seriously considering the older MacBook, but I will have to pass this one for lack of video grunt.
I recently got a quote in the same price range from a Dutch company for a 13.3" at 2560x1600 resolution, Core i7 processor, 16GB RAM, one 1TB HDD, + one 256GB SSD, and Geforce 860 (or so) graphics card. Weight 1.9 kg, so a bit heavier (and a bit bulkier to allow for cooling). The cost (with OS, you can also order it without) was just a shade under a MacBook pro 13.
Alternatively, if the last dart hit Otto von Chriek as he was passing by it would be
"ONE UNDEAD AND EIGHTY!!!!"
Mine is the one with "The Truth" in the pocket
I wouldn't mind a box or two of those beasts. And, no, I will not run Crysis on it. Instead I will be processing giga to terapixel images on it
"New MARS record", or alternatively "new new-world record"
Great achievement, by any name
And of course, a Vogon constructor fleet is due coming Thursday (never could get the hang of Thursdays)
To be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable
Such people are anti-Sams: You CANNOT read "Where's my cow?" like that! The hippopotamus sounds just don't sound right through the audio system. A propper HRUUGH should rattle the windows.
Mine's the one with "Thud" in the pocket
Just add one BOFH or PFY, and for preference: Duck tape
The engineering solution to EVERYTHING
(OK, adding a beefed-up cattle prod could also add fun)
Pushing up the daisies! Gone to meet its maker! it is an ex-glass!
As I read it it is a catalyst and electrode in one. The catalyst lowers the potential barrier for the electrolysis reaction, lowering the pwoer needed for the reaction
Here I am, brain the size of a planet and all they ask me is to drill a hole in a rock
Got that t-shirt, will wear it with more pride. It generally takes my CS students a little while to realise I am not wearing a T-shirt with an Intel ad.
What I will miss most about Terry Pratchett is the warmth and love of humanity with all its shortcomings that oozes from all his work. The one thing that really offended him is "treating people like things". He was a wonderful man with an unparallelled talent
I really hope the probe wakes up from its hybernation without issues. I cannot help wondering if, when it wakes up, Philae will say:
"I have worked out that if I stick my left arm in my right ear, I can electrocute myself ..., terminally"
"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed"
"It's c c cold"
Just some drool, that's all
Even by the standards of the general internet, this is an extreme load of vacuous twaddle. I would not want to spend any time in the presence of said Tawnie, let alone in the confined spaces of an elevator, where the stench of her (no doubt liberally applied) perfume would probably trigger an allergic attack. Besides, to paraphrase the immortal words of Marvin the Paranoid Android: "I get a headache trying to think down to their level"
No need for technology, I will just pass the caller to "my boss", and then do one of my celebrated Brian Blessed impersonations. Did one on holidays in the Alps recently, and had my kids in stitches.
ARE YE DEEEEEEAAAAAF!!!
Very much like the "remark" tool the BOFH taught novice computer users about years back. Easily invoked using the usual UNIX abbreviation "rm"
I really, really really would like that remote BOFH-enhanced cattleprod functionality on the phone going.
Them: <indian accent> Hello mr. Wilkinson, I am calling from Microsoft Tech Support
Me: Hello, you may call me Simon
Them: <indian accent> Sir, your computer >>KZZEERT<<
Alternatively, I would like to wire a fax machine, enhanced to 120dB volume, to answer their questions
Yeah, but don't forget the Monkey God's Mum (MGM). She is going to go ON and ON and ON to the poor Monkey God:
MGM: "See! I TOLD you to keep your forest tidy! You are ALWAYS losing things in it!"
Monkey God: "But, mum, I ..."
MGM: "I mean, HOW can you lose an entire CITY! This never would have happened to your cousin Kevin!"
Monkey God: "But mum, ..."
MGM: "Just think of what your dad will say when he comes home, and he hears humans have found it for you"
Monkey God: "Yes, but mum, ..."
MGM: "And I bet you haven't said thank you to those nice men from the SAS and National Geographic for finding your city again"
Monkey God: "But,..."
MGM: "Now go to your room and tidy THAT, or it's no human sacrifices for you for the next 500 years!"
Monkey God: "Yes, mum. Alright, mum"
Like my M8, will keep it for a while yet, but I like the fact that I can get something very much like it for a while yet,
I know the feeling. Take comfort in the fact that getting old means you are certainly succeeding in the first half of "Live long and prosper", so keep up the good work, and prosper
I see! it is a descriptive graph rather than prescriptive. And exactly because the near terminally inebriated cannot read it, they will follow it