413 posts • joined 7 Oct 2008
A sandwich student, recently arrived for his mid-course year of work, find himself staring at the Big Red Emergency Shutdown button and wonders what it does. To find out he presses it. Bringing the building containing several hundred developers and all the dev and test systems back up took an entire day as we discovered that all the kit that we had piled in over the years couldn't all be started at once without tripping the power supply.
The next week all the Big Red Buttons got Big Perspex Lift Off Covers to make pressing them an more conscious decision.
Re: The most incompetent contract programmer...
That sounds horribly familiar. If he went into VB coding without managing to pick up the basics of event handling or being able to spell the word "Message" in text-box titles then my boss hired him and I fired him.
Re: Fings ain't what they used to be
@Tony Gathercole - that's how government talks. I shouldn't imagine that the Police National Computer was just one huge box. When HMG says, "computer", read "computer-based system" and you're there. By the time their terminology has caught we'll have moved on to the latest way of processing data which uses wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey tech rather computers.
Re: Your name on the coffee 'cup'
For coffee-buying purposes my name is "Evadne".
Re: No. 2
Up votes for both of you. I wish we could have this discussion over a beer.
Re: Can of worms opened.
No can of worms, it's a set screw in the picture. I grew up reading two sets of literature: books on diseases of the eye thanks to my Mother's training as a nurse at Wolverhampton Eye Hospital and the sales material that my Dad, sales manager of GKN Automotive Fasteners, brought home with him. I memorised symptoms and torque tables. No wonder I wound up it IT.
My father worked for GKN Automotive Fasteners so this article was catnip to me. I am pleased that Nettlefold's contribution is remembered beyond the association of his name with tose of Guest and Keen. My father's former employers, Steel Nut & Joseph Hampton sank with Woden tools at the end of the 60s.
(But you knew that and were just screwing with us. Weren't you?)
Re: Do Apple know...........?
Inefficient But Marketable
Inert Blue Monolith
I've Been Mugged
I Bought a Macintosh.
Re: I wonder how they'll be sold
In 1984, it would have seemed impossible. By 1992 they called it Taligent (née Pink).
But will it blend?
As per title.
... and when upgrading your mainframe from 256MB to 512MB main store was a weekend job with a £7.7 million price tag.
Where's Steve Bong when you need him?
In a previous existence I worked for EDS under Dick Brown who sent regular uplifting missives to all hands. He made the best and clearest statement about silos that I ever read, so good that I memorised it and live by it to this this day:
"Taking a holistic view removes silo blinders and allows us to surround opportunities throughout the organization".
Re: Identity Crisis
That all depends - what screen resolution are we talking? *narrows eyes* *fingers safety catch*
MS Watch v2.0
As ever, wait for v3.0 of anything from MS for the one that works.
I used to love having Bull as a supplier. Out 90 minute weekly meeting when deploying a whole bunch of DPX/20 servers would follow a set pattern:
- Meet and greet
- Progress update
- First question from our devs
- 80 minutes of in-fighting between the two Bull guys
- One hour meeting after the meeting to sort out the stuff not sorted due to the infighting
Women, on the whole are easier to look at than men. This is certainly the case in the office in which I work. Sorry guys.
There's nothing wrong with the word "flense". Removing blubber from any code is to applauded.
Ok, so who leaked our process documents?
Re: Time wasting
That's my favoured approach. "... But there isn't a Start button on this UI ...".
Re: Good effort
I was fished in until they said that Apple had talked to El Reg.
Re: grout technology
"I'm still waiting for my damn hoverboars"
See also: commercially available jetpacks.
@Naughtyhorse - I believe the accepted unit is the Shedload or the Metric ShitTonne.
Must code a recreation of that sometime, although I'm not convinced I ever saw all the events. The pirate ship was a particular favourite.
Lady Programmer Available
Well over 25, ugly as a thunking layer, 28 years experience C/C++/COBOL/S3/BASH/PowerShell/SQL, available immediately.
Like, gag me with a spoon.
"I have even heard that it is spreading across the country among young fems."
That is so grody. Like, grody To The Max.
@seven of five
"I´d exepected you to suggest pirates."
Funnily enough, I've just been having a conversation about how to make COBOL and attractive option for recent graduates as without new blood to fettle the old code there's going to be a very expensive re-write coming down the line. 20 years convinced that COBOL would be retired before I was, now I'm not so sure.
"Crack In The Attic"
In the vernacular of the West Midlands, "Cack In The Attic".
Short shopping list
Find kids who want to learn either how computers work or how to make a computer do something.
Teach them to work out how this might be made to happen.
Teach them the skills they need to make it happen.
Encourage them to make it happen.
Stand behind them ready to help when they ask, but not so close that they bump into you when they turn around.
Guide and praise them as necessary.
Ask them what they're going to to do next.
And that's it.
You've got the put the resources in place - they'll need a big sandbox to play in - but make that available to the right kids and they'll do most of the work for you. Try to drag anyone kicking and screaming or dumbing things down so that the whole class can do it even if they've no interest or aptitude won't help anyone.
Well that's this year's project sorted out. All I need to work out now is where to keep the Tesla coil when I've finished it.
Re: Half a job...
Or is it 100 million screens before the plant is worn out and decommissioned? That would make for some expensive screens.
I'm not currently looking for a relationship
But if I chanced on a chap with a large bank balance and a dodgy heart my head could be turned.
Batter is what you put fish in. The cricketer at the wicket with a bat in their hand is a "batsman", in both male and female versions of the game.
There are batters in rounders, but that's a childs' game and need not detain us.
Re: Just wish
That's an entirely reasonable question. For gear for my personal use, Windows is just a placeholder. I read reviews of kit running Windows solely to find out if there are any bumps in the road to installing another OS.
Joe Lucas - Prince Of Darkness
@Nigel 11 - thank you for dredging up the memory of my Dad (who worked in the automotive component industry) intoning, "Joe Lucas, Prince Of Darkness", whenever conversation turned to automotive electricals.
I was commenting flippantly, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Re: BS 546
Downvoters are probably insisting on BS1363 rectangular pin AC power plugs, but each to their own.
I protest the absence of the UK three-pin AC power plug.
Blimey, that's a bit swift. I've been on the Bletchley Park tour a few times and found it perfectly paced at 90 minutes. Mind you, if they're not taking in the Tunny/Colossus exhibit in the National Museum of Computing then that will save some time - pointlessy, stupidly and inadvisedly, but it will save some time.
The decisions being taken by the Bletchley Park Trust seem bent on ripping apart two collections that really do have synergy - the one time that word does have a place in describing in how a place should be run and management are running away from it.
umount -f Toys
I go to the National Museum of Computing once a year, largely to see how the ICL2900 is getting along, but because it puts me back in touch with why I love this discipline and trade so much. I usually combine it with a spin around Bletchley Park itself as well, a practice which has given me the privilege of rubbing shoulders with WRENs who worked at BP in the war. Sadly it looks as though my next visit to the NMoC will be just that and no more as I don't want to reward this behaviour; it's childish, spiteful and short-sighted.
When you asked Google to comment
Did they reply, "F*ck you, asshole"?
Back in 1986 I couldn't find anyone hiring recently graduated physicists anywhere near where I wanted to live but someone did want mainframe programmers so hey ho, let's go programming. It's been a good thing by and large, with a greater emphasis on what I can deliver as an individual compared to other technical and engineering industries. I compare my experience with that of an acquaintance who works as an engineer for a railway rolling stock manufacturer. While the overall gender balance is similar, the role specialisation by gender and resistance to women moving forward in technical roles seems much greater than my experience in IT.
Kill them with fire
I've just done a purge of old email addresses and centralised everything on one single account, and yet ... I've still got a nagging thought that there's something somewhere poised to send a vitally important mail to one of the old accounts now gathering dust and spam.
Excellent article, thank you.
I look forward the the piece about the OPD. ICL had some excellent technology - CAFS, a superb SSD storage system back in 1990, VME (still the best OS for its purpose I ever used) - but OPD was one the bravest, wildest bits of What-The-Fuckery I ever saw.
Another side note: whenever I have an anxiety dream I always seem to walk into a data hall with walls painted ICL orange. Some things run deep.
Alternatively, you can restrict the people allowed to exercise this option to those in your Google+ circles. As my Google+ is a howling void, any messages coming from that direction will be more likely to come from Cthulhu than a human being. Or Friendster.
- One HUNDRED FAMOUS LADIES exposed NUDE online
- Twitter: La la la, we have not heard of any NUDE JLaw, Upton SELFIES
- China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
- Apple to devs: NO slurping users' HEALTH for sale to Dark Powers
- Rubbish WPS config sees WiFi router keys popped in seconds