* Posts by Admiral Grace Hopper

461 posts • joined 7 Oct 2008

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Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

Pah! Kids these days ...

Chain printers used to eat people. Whole.

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Buy with your head, drive with your heart: Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: What's with car reviews on an IT site?

I have based several recent car choices on reviews on El Reg, indeed I am enjoying my Renault Twingo greatly, a car I wouldn't have considered without that review. These reviews are well-written, comprehensive and take a real-world view, all qualities which I find useful.

As to the IT relevance, have you listened to any conversations in any room with a reasonable concentration of IT folk? At some point it will turn to cars. It just does. You may start off with bit-rates, terabytes and mips but eventually you will end up at 0-60 and bhp. As the daughter of a manufacturer of automotive fasteners I'm quite used to it and join in quite happily. Car talk is all part of IT. No matter how hard I have tried. needlework talk hasn't replaced it yet.

Anyway, I may need to new job so that I can afford this particular run-around. Time to hit the job sites.

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Sharing Economy latest: Women's BREAST MILK is the new 'liquid GOLD' of the internet

Admiral Grace Hopper

They must be hungry

I wondered why my colleagues spend so much time staring at my chest rather than making eye contact.

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NatWest IT cock-up sees 600,000 transactions go 'missing'

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Not up to it.

Not knowing your requirements it's difficult to advise, but I went with Nationwide as there are no shareholders (it's the last mutual on my high street) and the IT is based in Swindon. Your mileage, as ever, is variable.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Not up to it.

I moved my account after the last farrago. NatWest was a well-run bank before it is acquired by RBS.

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Microsoft finally finishes its PowerPC emulator

Admiral Grace Hopper

Rosetta

Didn't Apple already cover off PowerPC apps on Intel?

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LastPass got hacked: Change your master password NOW

Admiral Grace Hopper
Unhappy

Very glad that you told us

Quite narked that LastPass didn't.

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BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

Admiral Grace Hopper

Oh dear

I have a grim sense of self-awareness gathering around me.

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Oxford chaps solve problem in 1982 Sinclair Spectrum manual

Admiral Grace Hopper

ZX Spectrum Orchestra

The ZX Spectrum Orchestra do this sort of thing very well indeed.

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DRM is NOT THE LAW, I AM THE LAW, says JUDGE DREDD

Admiral Grace Hopper

"... and the sentence is DEATH".

Judge Death's line I believe, rather than Dredd's.

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NatWest and RBS' mobile banking apps go TITSUP

Admiral Grace Hopper

Once bitten

I moved my account after Nat West's last failure to provide basic banking services due to an IT failure. Shame, they were a good bank until RBS took them over.

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Just WALK IN and buy an Apple Watch. Are you mad?

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: One does not simply walk into an Apple store..

"it used to be the case that no sensible techno-person would ever buy Version 1.0 of anything Apple...."

This also applied to version 2.0 of anything MicroSoft. They twigged this and released Win NT at version 3.0 to try to fool the punters that the Customer Beta versions had been and gone.

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Mono Magic: Photography, Breaking Bad style

Admiral Grace Hopper

I love the smell of fixer in the morning

I spent many happy hours of my youth in a dark room sniffing chemicals. My Durst enlarger is still in the loft because I can't bring myself to throw it away (there seems little point in trying to sell it). It took me a long time to switch to digital and then an even longer time to invest in a camera other than a compact as anything that came close to my old Minolta was either too expensive or too large. Now that I've found a camera that does the job I'm having fun applying old darkroom techniques in software, but I'm not sure that I'd go back to chemistry for any reason other than nostalgia.

I found that old Minolta recently, alongside my Dad's Voigtländer, both with half-exposed rolls of film in them. I finished the 120 film in the Voigtländer and got that processed and scanned and I'm going to do the same with the film in the Minolta, but that will probably be the last time it gets used before being put on a shelf for the last time.

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Attack of the Digital People: The BBC goes fully Bong

Admiral Grace Hopper
Thumb Up

"fully Bong"

I like that. The Bong should be the unit of project stupidity, Impossible.com would be fully Bong, Universal Credit 0.85 Bong, and so on down to something completely unBong such as PGP.

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HAPPY 20th Birthday MICROSOFT BOB

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Bubba

That's the one (see cross-posting). I seem to remember we thought it a refreshingly original UI paradigm (we were still saying "paradigm" with a straight face back then - ah youth!).

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Bubba

Gah! Just missed the edit window. Some else kept a copy of Bubba in all its glory.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Bubba

I wish I'd kept a screen capture of the hillbilly riff on MS Bob - MicroSoft Bubba. As I recall you closed programs by shooting them with a shotgun which was always to hand.

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Hear that sound? It's the Windows XP PC bubble popping

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Sewing machine driveru

The XP box died of natural causes. Rather than build a new one I used what was to hand, largely out of interest as I don't do that for a living. I tried hard enough to work out that it was easier running XP standalone as a separate boot, but it's still an XP box at the end of the day.

Your suggestion is constructive, however, thank you.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Huh?

I've got one piece of software - Bernina's embroidery module driver - that insists on Win XP (at the latest, it was written for Win95) running on bare metal. I've tried virtualising it under SLES, OSX and Win Server 2008 but no dice - it won't talk to the hardware unless the OS is natively installed. So that's one person who wants a computer with XP on it.

I could upgrade the sewing machine, but for all bar one use case it does exactly what I need, does it well and the modern Bernina's don't have die-cast alloy chassis.

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Charles Townes, inventor of the laser and friend to both science and religion, dies

Admiral Grace Hopper

I salute you Sir

My degree is in Physics with Laser Physics. Without his work I would have neither a specialism to study nor, even more importantly, the ability to spend many happy hours dicking around with lasers.

I can't put into words how much pleasure you can have dicking around with lasers.

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A Bombe Called Christopher, or A Very Poor Imitation

Admiral Grace Hopper

Cracked it.

A perfect encapsulation of my objections to this well-intentioned but ham-fistedly executed film.

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Telefónica to offload O2 to Three daddy Hutchison for £10.25bn

Admiral Grace Hopper

Mithers

O2 were ok but didnt't have a mast in the valley I moved to. T-Mobile did, but when they merged to form EE that mast was degraded when they consolidated their networks. Fortunately 3 put a mast in and I've been a happy customer ever since. Now I'm worried about the next network consolidation. If I lose that mast I'm knackered again. Neither of the work mobiles - O2 and EE - get a good signal, which is fine for my purposes, but I need my personal one to work.

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Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

10 years

Blimey. Feels like only yesterday.

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Preserve the concinnity of English, caterwauls American university

Admiral Grace Hopper

Excellent.

We must make sure that we don't lose any useful words as we embiggen the language.

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2015 will be the Year of Linux on the, no wait, of the dot-word domain EXPLOSION

Admiral Grace Hopper

stupid.c*nts

The only tlds that I might feel the urge to register would probably be refused on the grounds of taste.

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Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

Admiral Grace Hopper

Aw, thanks.

That was a wonderful "Got, got, want, got, want ..."-esque trip back to a 70s childhood.

I first saw Fischer Technik in Rackhams in Birmingham and yearned for it. This surely, was the future. Perhaps tellingly for a child of the metal-bashing Midlands I knew that Meccano was somewhat more appropriate. Oh, and Girl's World, obviously. With a chemistry set you could try to manufacture your own make up.

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Hackers pop German steel mill, wreck furnace

Admiral Grace Hopper

South Korean Nuclear Plant

When I heard the news this morning about schematics being dragged out of a South Korean nuclear power facility and heard the assurances that the control systems were not hackable my thoughts turned to air gaps and firewalls. Leaving any system controlling a sufficiently large amount of energy open to attack seems somewhat careless.

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The Shock of the New: The Register redesign update 4

Admiral Grace Hopper
Thumb Up

Footer link

Thank you for that, that makes things much more usable. The other changes are welcome, but that's the one that tips me into the pro camp. Some of the aesthetics aren't what I'd choose - it still looks rather glaring - but hey, I'll wear shades.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: White

Though I must admit that 30+ years of staring at 80 column / 24(or 25) line green on black screens may have coloured my judgement.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

White

I know from your last update that you don't believe that the site is now too white, but believe me, it really is very, very white indeed.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

And another one gone.

First the positives: I can see what you tried to do and you didn't fuck things around as much and as badly as the a Guardian has.

Unfortunately, this seems to be another iPad centred redesign that takes no account of the desktop user. Why so much wasted space? We're IT pros, we've got the biggest and best screens we can screw out if the budget. Throw us s bone, or at least a dynamic layout.

What is the current obsession with Fisher-Price design? If you'd ever run an article telling us how much the whole world loves TIFKAM then I could understand it, but you haven't, you never will so why the kids interface?

A well intentioned effort, but not quite there.

I hope to see a change that I can get behind in the near future.

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Admiral Grace Hopper

Could be worse

My MP thinks that a SS uniform is suitable attire for a best man for a stag party in a French ski resort. He won't be my MP after next May.

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Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Admiral Grace Hopper

Prior Art

I wrote what seems like a remarkably similar progress bar for a VB3 project years ago. Wonder if I've got the code anywhere? Probably on a floppy.

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Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Cool

s/me/at/

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Brighten your November morning: 900 in-browser arcade classics added to the Internet Archive

Admiral Grace Hopper

Good news. Bad news.

Thank [DEITY] I can't see Gorf.

I can, however, see Bomb Jack.

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: from stats, it's actually quite nippy

Are you bringing facts to an uninformed rant fight? I admire your chutzpah.

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Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Admiral Grace Hopper

MS on multiple platforms

MS was born supporting multiple platforms. After cranking out versions of MS Basic for any and every machine that came along, they cut their teeth in GUI programming by writing Word for the original Mac platform long before Windows appeared. Word, then Office, has always been written and supported for Apple OSs.

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Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

Admiral Grace Hopper

Whatever's announced

I do hope that you've got some snark left with which to report it.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

Back in the day

Back in the time of mainframes, when chain printers ate print ops for breakfast, I said to an older and wiser colleague that I looked forward to the paperless world that we were creating. He laughed, pointed at the piano-ruled paper waterfalling off my workstation and said, "You'll see a paperless toilet before you see a paperless office". Since then I seem to have proved him right every single day.

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Influential scribe Charles Petzold: How I figured out the Windows API

Admiral Grace Hopper
Thumb Up

Thank you Mr. Petzold

You made writing code for Windows much less painful than it could have been.

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Windows 10 feedback: 'Microsoft, please do a deal with Google to use its browser'

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: "As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?

You raise an interesting point @returnmyjedi. A supercooled frying pan would result in a very slow fart. We need to establish the environment before measuring.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

"As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?

Sounds quite nippy to me. I tend to go with other metaphors when trying to describe slowness: "Slow as a pregnant dugong", "like waiting for comments on an RFC", "like watching synapses fire in HR".

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HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

Admiral Grace Hopper

@Ross K - There are many women who are interested in science, engineering and technology and we get used to the pedantic type-A people with zero personality and learn how to work with or, if necessary, around them. Some of them are women too.

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TalkTalk and Three want to make it easier to switch mobe networks

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: im moving soon

My conversation prior my move from EE (ex T-Mobile) was amusing for the wrong reasons.

"Why are you leaving us?".

"Because they're offering unlimited data and tethering for X £/month".

"We can offer you Y GB for X+3 £/month".

"Not unlimited?"

"No"

"Tethering?"

"That's 5 £/month extra"

"Thanks, but no thanks"

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

Admiral Grace Hopper

See also: SELECT * FROM IT_MANUFACTURERS

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NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

Admiral Grace Hopper
Unhappy

Gutted

Blendtec suckered me.

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iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? No. It is the Most Exquisite THING. EVER

Admiral Grace Hopper

Embarrassing friends

I am a happy user of an iPhone (other ecosystems are available) and as I read the original article I wanted him to STFU.

It's a phone. With an OS. Which runs apps. FFS.

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Read The Gods of War for every tired cliche you never wanted to see in a sci fi book

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Ian M

Oh my, now I'll have to download the whole Lensman saga. I re-read my thumbed-to-death paperbacks again last year and I agree, with the exception of the sexual politics and god electronics which now seem very dated they are rollicking good reads.

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FAIL - the most incompetent IT pros

Admiral Grace Hopper

Father Dougal

A sandwich student, recently arrived for his mid-course year of work, find himself staring at the Big Red Emergency Shutdown button and wonders what it does. To find out he presses it. Bringing the building containing several hundred developers and all the dev and test systems back up took an entire day as we discovered that all the kit that we had piled in over the years couldn't all be started at once without tripping the power supply.

The next week all the Big Red Buttons got Big Perspex Lift Off Covers to make pressing them an more conscious decision.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: The most incompetent contract programmer...

That sounds horribly familiar. If he went into VB coding without managing to pick up the basics of event handling or being able to spell the word "Message" in text-box titles then my boss hired him and I fired him.

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