428 posts • joined 7 Oct 2008
Good news. Bad news.
Thank [DEITY] I can't see Gorf.
I can, however, see Bomb Jack.
Re: from stats, it's actually quite nippy
Are you bringing facts to an uninformed rant fight? I admire your chutzpah.
MS on multiple platforms
MS was born supporting multiple platforms. After cranking out versions of MS Basic for any and every machine that came along, they cut their teeth in GUI programming by writing Word for the original Mac platform long before Windows appeared. Word, then Office, has always been written and supported for Apple OSs.
I do hope that you've got some snark left with which to report it.
Back in the day
Back in the time of mainframes, when chain printers ate print ops for breakfast, I said to an older and wiser colleague that I looked forward to the paperless world that we were creating. He laughed, pointed at the piano-ruled paper waterfalling off my workstation and said, "You'll see a paperless toilet before you see a paperless office". Since then I seem to have proved him right every single day.
Thank you Mr. Petzold
You made writing code for Windows much less painful than it could have been.
Re: "As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?
You raise an interesting point @returnmyjedi. A supercooled frying pan would result in a very slow fart. We need to establish the environment before measuring.
"As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?
Sounds quite nippy to me. I tend to go with other metaphors when trying to describe slowness: "Slow as a pregnant dugong", "like waiting for comments on an RFC", "like watching synapses fire in HR".
@Ross K - There are many women who are interested in science, engineering and technology and we get used to the pedantic type-A people with zero personality and learn how to work with or, if necessary, around them. Some of them are women too.
Re: im moving soon
My conversation prior my move from EE (ex T-Mobile) was amusing for the wrong reasons.
"Why are you leaving us?".
"Because they're offering unlimited data and tethering for X £/month".
"We can offer you Y GB for X+3 £/month".
"That's 5 £/month extra"
"Thanks, but no thanks"
See also: SELECT * FROM IT_MANUFACTURERS
Blendtec suckered me.
I am a happy user of an iPhone (other ecosystems are available) and as I read the original article I wanted him to STFU.
It's a phone. With an OS. Which runs apps. FFS.
Re: Ian M
Oh my, now I'll have to download the whole Lensman saga. I re-read my thumbed-to-death paperbacks again last year and I agree, with the exception of the sexual politics and god electronics which now seem very dated they are rollicking good reads.
A sandwich student, recently arrived for his mid-course year of work, find himself staring at the Big Red Emergency Shutdown button and wonders what it does. To find out he presses it. Bringing the building containing several hundred developers and all the dev and test systems back up took an entire day as we discovered that all the kit that we had piled in over the years couldn't all be started at once without tripping the power supply.
The next week all the Big Red Buttons got Big Perspex Lift Off Covers to make pressing them an more conscious decision.
Re: The most incompetent contract programmer...
That sounds horribly familiar. If he went into VB coding without managing to pick up the basics of event handling or being able to spell the word "Message" in text-box titles then my boss hired him and I fired him.
Re: Fings ain't what they used to be
@Tony Gathercole - that's how government talks. I shouldn't imagine that the Police National Computer was just one huge box. When HMG says, "computer", read "computer-based system" and you're there. By the time their terminology has caught we'll have moved on to the latest way of processing data which uses wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey tech rather computers.
Re: Your name on the coffee 'cup'
For coffee-buying purposes my name is "Evadne".
Re: No. 2
Up votes for both of you. I wish we could have this discussion over a beer.
Re: Can of worms opened.
No can of worms, it's a set screw in the picture. I grew up reading two sets of literature: books on diseases of the eye thanks to my Mother's training as a nurse at Wolverhampton Eye Hospital and the sales material that my Dad, sales manager of GKN Automotive Fasteners, brought home with him. I memorised symptoms and torque tables. No wonder I wound up it IT.
My father worked for GKN Automotive Fasteners so this article was catnip to me. I am pleased that Nettlefold's contribution is remembered beyond the association of his name with tose of Guest and Keen. My father's former employers, Steel Nut & Joseph Hampton sank with Woden tools at the end of the 60s.
(But you knew that and were just screwing with us. Weren't you?)
Re: Do Apple know...........?
Inefficient But Marketable
Inert Blue Monolith
I've Been Mugged
I Bought a Macintosh.
Re: I wonder how they'll be sold
In 1984, it would have seemed impossible. By 1992 they called it Taligent (née Pink).
But will it blend?
As per title.
... and when upgrading your mainframe from 256MB to 512MB main store was a weekend job with a £7.7 million price tag.
Where's Steve Bong when you need him?
In a previous existence I worked for EDS under Dick Brown who sent regular uplifting missives to all hands. He made the best and clearest statement about silos that I ever read, so good that I memorised it and live by it to this this day:
"Taking a holistic view removes silo blinders and allows us to surround opportunities throughout the organization".
Re: Identity Crisis
That all depends - what screen resolution are we talking? *narrows eyes* *fingers safety catch*
MS Watch v2.0
As ever, wait for v3.0 of anything from MS for the one that works.
I used to love having Bull as a supplier. Out 90 minute weekly meeting when deploying a whole bunch of DPX/20 servers would follow a set pattern:
- Meet and greet
- Progress update
- First question from our devs
- 80 minutes of in-fighting between the two Bull guys
- One hour meeting after the meeting to sort out the stuff not sorted due to the infighting
Women, on the whole are easier to look at than men. This is certainly the case in the office in which I work. Sorry guys.
There's nothing wrong with the word "flense". Removing blubber from any code is to applauded.
Ok, so who leaked our process documents?
Re: Time wasting
That's my favoured approach. "... But there isn't a Start button on this UI ...".
Re: Good effort
I was fished in until they said that Apple had talked to El Reg.
Re: grout technology
"I'm still waiting for my damn hoverboars"
See also: commercially available jetpacks.
@Naughtyhorse - I believe the accepted unit is the Shedload or the Metric ShitTonne.
Must code a recreation of that sometime, although I'm not convinced I ever saw all the events. The pirate ship was a particular favourite.
Lady Programmer Available
Well over 25, ugly as a thunking layer, 28 years experience C/C++/COBOL/S3/BASH/PowerShell/SQL, available immediately.
Like, gag me with a spoon.
"I have even heard that it is spreading across the country among young fems."
That is so grody. Like, grody To The Max.
@seven of five
"I´d exepected you to suggest pirates."
Funnily enough, I've just been having a conversation about how to make COBOL and attractive option for recent graduates as without new blood to fettle the old code there's going to be a very expensive re-write coming down the line. 20 years convinced that COBOL would be retired before I was, now I'm not so sure.
"Crack In The Attic"
In the vernacular of the West Midlands, "Cack In The Attic".
Short shopping list
Find kids who want to learn either how computers work or how to make a computer do something.
Teach them to work out how this might be made to happen.
Teach them the skills they need to make it happen.
Encourage them to make it happen.
Stand behind them ready to help when they ask, but not so close that they bump into you when they turn around.
Guide and praise them as necessary.
Ask them what they're going to to do next.
And that's it.
You've got the put the resources in place - they'll need a big sandbox to play in - but make that available to the right kids and they'll do most of the work for you. Try to drag anyone kicking and screaming or dumbing things down so that the whole class can do it even if they've no interest or aptitude won't help anyone.
Well that's this year's project sorted out. All I need to work out now is where to keep the Tesla coil when I've finished it.
Re: Half a job...
Or is it 100 million screens before the plant is worn out and decommissioned? That would make for some expensive screens.
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