* Posts by Admiral Grace Hopper

434 posts • joined 7 Oct 2008

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The Shock of the New: The Register redesign update 4

Admiral Grace Hopper
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Footer link

Thank you for that, that makes things much more usable. The other changes are welcome, but that's the one that tips me into the pro camp. Some of the aesthetics aren't what I'd choose - it still looks rather glaring - but hey, I'll wear shades.

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: White

Though I must admit that 30+ years of staring at 80 column / 24(or 25) line green on black screens may have coloured my judgement.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

White

I know from your last update that you don't believe that the site is now too white, but believe me, it really is very, very white indeed.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

And another one gone.

First the positives: I can see what you tried to do and you didn't fuck things around as much and as badly as the a Guardian has.

Unfortunately, this seems to be another iPad centred redesign that takes no account of the desktop user. Why so much wasted space? We're IT pros, we've got the biggest and best screens we can screw out if the budget. Throw us s bone, or at least a dynamic layout.

What is the current obsession with Fisher-Price design? If you'd ever run an article telling us how much the whole world loves TIFKAM then I could understand it, but you haven't, you never will so why the kids interface?

A well intentioned effort, but not quite there.

I hope to see a change that I can get behind in the near future.

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Admiral Grace Hopper

Could be worse

My MP thinks that a SS uniform is suitable attire for a best man for a stag party in a French ski resort. He won't be my MP after next May.

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Apple seeks patent for user-configurable progress bar

Admiral Grace Hopper

Prior Art

I wrote what seems like a remarkably similar progress bar for a VB3 project years ago. Wonder if I've got the code anywhere? Probably on a floppy.

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Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Cool

s/me/at/

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Brighten your November morning: 900 in-browser arcade classics added to the Internet Archive

Admiral Grace Hopper

Good news. Bad news.

Thank [DEITY] I can't see Gorf.

I can, however, see Bomb Jack.

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PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: from stats, it's actually quite nippy

Are you bringing facts to an uninformed rant fight? I admire your chutzpah.

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Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Admiral Grace Hopper

MS on multiple platforms

MS was born supporting multiple platforms. After cranking out versions of MS Basic for any and every machine that came along, they cut their teeth in GUI programming by writing Word for the original Mac platform long before Windows appeared. Word, then Office, has always been written and supported for Apple OSs.

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Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

Admiral Grace Hopper

Whatever's announced

I do hope that you've got some snark left with which to report it.

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Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

Back in the day

Back in the time of mainframes, when chain printers ate print ops for breakfast, I said to an older and wiser colleague that I looked forward to the paperless world that we were creating. He laughed, pointed at the piano-ruled paper waterfalling off my workstation and said, "You'll see a paperless toilet before you see a paperless office". Since then I seem to have proved him right every single day.

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Influential scribe Charles Petzold: How I figured out the Windows API

Admiral Grace Hopper
Thumb Up

Thank you Mr. Petzold

You made writing code for Windows much less painful than it could have been.

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Windows 10 feedback: 'Microsoft, please do a deal with Google to use its browser'

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: "As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?

You raise an interesting point @returnmyjedi. A supercooled frying pan would result in a very slow fart. We need to establish the environment before measuring.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

"As slow as a fart in a frying pan"?

Sounds quite nippy to me. I tend to go with other metaphors when trying to describe slowness: "Slow as a pregnant dugong", "like waiting for comments on an RFC", "like watching synapses fire in HR".

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HOT BABES! Worried you won't get that JOB in IT? MENTION how hot you are

Admiral Grace Hopper

@Ross K - There are many women who are interested in science, engineering and technology and we get used to the pedantic type-A people with zero personality and learn how to work with or, if necessary, around them. Some of them are women too.

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TalkTalk and Three want to make it easier to switch mobe networks

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: im moving soon

My conversation prior my move from EE (ex T-Mobile) was amusing for the wrong reasons.

"Why are you leaving us?".

"Because they're offering unlimited data and tethering for X £/month".

"We can offer you Y GB for X+3 £/month".

"Not unlimited?"

"No"

"Tethering?"

"That's 5 £/month extra"

"Thanks, but no thanks"

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Apple: SO sorry for the iOS 8.0.1 UPDATE BUNGLE HORROR

Admiral Grace Hopper

See also: SELECT * FROM IT_MANUFACTURERS

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NSFW: Click here, watch iPhone 6 being TORTURED

Admiral Grace Hopper
Unhappy

Gutted

Blendtec suckered me.

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iPhone 6: Most exquisite MOBILE? No. It is the Most Exquisite THING. EVER

Admiral Grace Hopper

Embarrassing friends

I am a happy user of an iPhone (other ecosystems are available) and as I read the original article I wanted him to STFU.

It's a phone. With an OS. Which runs apps. FFS.

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Read The Gods of War for every tired cliche you never wanted to see in a sci fi book

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Ian M

Oh my, now I'll have to download the whole Lensman saga. I re-read my thumbed-to-death paperbacks again last year and I agree, with the exception of the sexual politics and god electronics which now seem very dated they are rollicking good reads.

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FAIL - the most incompetent IT pros

Admiral Grace Hopper

Father Dougal

A sandwich student, recently arrived for his mid-course year of work, find himself staring at the Big Red Emergency Shutdown button and wonders what it does. To find out he presses it. Bringing the building containing several hundred developers and all the dev and test systems back up took an entire day as we discovered that all the kit that we had piled in over the years couldn't all be started at once without tripping the power supply.

The next week all the Big Red Buttons got Big Perspex Lift Off Covers to make pressing them an more conscious decision.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: The most incompetent contract programmer...

That sounds horribly familiar. If he went into VB coding without managing to pick up the basics of event handling or being able to spell the word "Message" in text-box titles then my boss hired him and I fired him.

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e-Borders fiasco: Brits stung for £224m after US IT giant sues UK govt

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Fings ain't what they used to be

@Tony Gathercole - that's how government talks. I shouldn't imagine that the Police National Computer was just one huge box. When HMG says, "computer", read "computer-based system" and you're there. By the time their terminology has caught we'll have moved on to the latest way of processing data which uses wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey tech rather computers.

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Nice computers don’t need to go to the toilet, says Barclays

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Your name on the coffee 'cup'

For coffee-buying purposes my name is "Evadne".

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Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS

Admiral Grace Hopper
Pint

Re: No. 2

Up votes for both of you. I wish we could have this discussion over a beer.

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Admiral Grace Hopper
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Re: Can of worms opened.

No can of worms, it's a set screw in the picture. I grew up reading two sets of literature: books on diseases of the eye thanks to my Mother's training as a nurse at Wolverhampton Eye Hospital and the sales material that my Dad, sales manager of GKN Automotive Fasteners, brought home with him. I memorised symptoms and torque tables. No wonder I wound up it IT.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: What?

My father worked for GKN Automotive Fasteners so this article was catnip to me. I am pleased that Nettlefold's contribution is remembered beyond the association of his name with tose of Guest and Keen. My father's former employers, Steel Nut & Joseph Hampton sank with Woden tools at the end of the 60s.

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Admiral Grace Hopper
WTF?

No. 2

Set screw.

(But you knew that and were just screwing with us. Weren't you?)

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iPad? More like iFAD: We reveal why Apple fell into IBM's arms

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Do Apple know...........?

Inefficient But Marketable

Inert Blue Monolith

I've Been Mugged

...

I Bought a Macintosh.

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Big Blue Apple: IBM to sell iPads, iPhones to enterprises

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: I wonder how they'll be sold

In 1984, it would have seemed impossible. By 1992 they called it Taligent (née Pink).

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'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

Admiral Grace Hopper

But will it blend?

As per title.

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Google Glass gets 2GB of RAM. Think about this. Two gigs of RAM

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

... and when upgrading your mainframe from 256MB to 512MB main store was a weekend job with a £7.7 million price tag.

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London commuter hell will soon include 'one card to rule them all'

Admiral Grace Hopper

Bong

Where's Steve Bong when you need him?

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iOS 8 to PROBE your GUTS and your HOME

Admiral Grace Hopper

Silos

In a previous existence I worked for EDS under Dick Brown who sent regular uplifting missives to all hands. He made the best and clearest statement about silos that I ever read, so good that I memorised it and live by it to this this day:

"Taking a holistic view removes silo blinders and allows us to surround opportunities throughout the organization".

Poetry.

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ASUS launches 5-in-1 Android Windows Phone laptop tablet (breathe)

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Identity Crisis

That all depends - what screen resolution are we talking? *narrows eyes* *fingers safety catch*

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Could a 'Zunewatch' be Microsoft's next hardware foray?

Admiral Grace Hopper

MS Watch v2.0

As ever, wait for v3.0 of anything from MS for the one that works.

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French IT giant Atos is officially full of Bull.... and €620m lighter

Admiral Grace Hopper

Ah, Bull

I used to love having Bull as a supplier. Out 90 minute weekly meeting when deploying a whole bunch of DPX/20 servers would follow a set pattern:

- Meet and greet

- Progress update

- First question from our devs

- 80 minutes of in-fighting between the two Bull guys

- One hour meeting after the meeting to sort out the stuff not sorted due to the infighting

- Pub

Happy days.

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French software developers are all beautiful women

Admiral Grace Hopper

Women, on the whole are easier to look at than men. This is certainly the case in the office in which I work. Sorry guys.

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Today's bugs have BRANDS? Be still my bleeding heart [logo]

Admiral Grace Hopper

Flense

There's nothing wrong with the word "flense". Removing blubber from any code is to applauded.

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BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

Admiral Grace Hopper

Security Breach

Ok, so who leaked our process documents?

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Why won't you DIE? IBM's S/360 and its legacy at 50

Admiral Grace Hopper

Quite so.

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Boss at 'Microsoft' scam support biz told to cough £000s in comp

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Time wasting

That's my favoured approach. "... But there isn't a Start button on this UI ...".

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Boeing, Cupertino to 'explore weaponisation of Apple technologies'

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Good effort

I was fished in until they said that Apple had talked to El Reg.

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Ugh! This DUNKABLE wearable tech is REPELLENT

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: grout technology

"I'm still waiting for my damn hoverboars"

See also: commercially available jetpacks.

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Nvidia unveils Titan Z: An 8TFLOPS off-the-shelf supercomputer disguised as a gfx card

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Yowser

@Naughtyhorse - I believe the accepted unit is the Shedload or the Metric ShitTonne.

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Flying Toaster screen savers return on GitHub

Admiral Grace Hopper

Johnny Castaway

Must code a recreation of that sometime, although I'm not convinced I ever saw all the events. The pirate ship was a particular favourite.

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How AGILE DIPLOMACY will spike PUTIN'S GUNS

Admiral Grace Hopper

Lady Programmer Available

Well over 25, ugly as a thunking layer, 28 years experience C/C++/COBOL/S3/BASH/PowerShell/SQL, available immediately.

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Google Glass: Reg man tests tech specs

Admiral Grace Hopper

Like, gag me with a spoon.

"I have even heard that it is spreading across the country among young fems."

That is so grody. Like, grody To The Max.

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HP busts out new ProLiant rack mount based on Intel's new top o' line server chippery

Admiral Grace Hopper

@seven of five

"I´d exepected you to suggest pirates."

Piracy? No.

Indestructability? Yes!

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