* Posts by alan

103 posts • joined 3 Oct 2008

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Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

alan
Thumb Up

Hypocritical??

Good to see her go

But surely this is hypocritical of Gordon as he was paying for his brothers cleaner?

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Irish politico in Facebook jub-rub outrage

alan
Happy

She admitted that it is "not a great" snap

I disagree :) but then maybe thats just my Y chromosome

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Oz man fined for drink-drive rumpy-pumpy

alan
Coat

(untitled)

"veering onto the wrong side"

Is that a euphemism??

"indulging in a coupling which "continued for several kilometres"."

Lucky girl :) normally it only continues for six inches :)

"He pleaded guilty to five charges, "including driving without a seatbelt""

But he did have air bags :)

I am sorry I will get my coat

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Taking a first bite out of Wolfram Alpha

alan

specific gravity of water

An easy one I thought.

But it didnt understand and suggested gravity of water which it interprets as GRAVITY and WATERS two companies listed on the stock exchange and then compares them.

Whereas the first hit on google http://www.simetric.co.uk/si_water.htm gets the answer.

Its 1 by the way :)

Close but no cigar wolfram. It will be interesting to see where it goes, but I dont see it main stream any time soon.

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Telstra bins UK support staff

alan
Joke

re adnim

"no I haven't thought through this statement"

Well that sounds like a perfect new labour law then:)

Buy yourself a swimming pool on expense's immediately

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Fanbois squeal over Mac OS X upgrade

alan

re LaeMi Qian

Misery is a book by Stephen King, and in the book she uses an Axe not a sledge hammer :)

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Kettering to London: 18 hours by rail, bus and pack mule

alan
Joke

But the real question is

Will it arrive on time :)

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UK graduates face bleak future as teachers

alan

Re Pete

Although I do agree with what you say Philosophy and Classics and way above degrees such as media studies, which is again leagues above such twash as Sports Science. Alot of my cousins are now at uni studying this hoping to get well paid jobs as glorified coaches for premier league footballers. Sadly I think they will be working in call centres.

Science and Red Brick for the win :)

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Pig plague and Twitter: The terrifying truth

alan
Joke

Title

reduce our planet to a barren wasteland inhabited only by cockroaches and Daily Mail journalists,

Poor cockroaches :)

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Yorkshire man wakes up Irish after brain surgery

alan
Joke

I guess then...

but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying

I guess you would just have to SURRENDER to it :)

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Go, Brown, go!

alan

NO NO NO

We dont want him to resign we want a general election, all that will happen if he resigns is a different labour stooge will take over and carry on much as before

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Russian hairdresser turns stickup merchant into sex slave

alan
Joke

Surely....

If the statement

"and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left"

is true they can do him for prostitution if the robbery charges dont stick :)

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Which zoo animals like artificial sweeteners: Facts at last

alan

my cat likes

Anything that I am eating, especially fond of cheese and onion crisps and the inside of cream eggs.

She is no where near almost exclusively meat eating.

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Playmobil Bible faces wrath of lawyers

alan
Happy

Yeah

You got my email then :)

Shame I had to read about it in the metro first, El Reg should be first port of call for all things PlayMobile.

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Texas senator wants to ban Vista purchases

alan
Unhappy

@ Codge

so somebody likes something you dislike, therefore they must be a tosser.

what great arguement, you sound like the tosser to me.

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Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest

alan

Re Mike Dyne

That depends each of my personalities wants to send in their own one, so thats about 4 I will be sending in, hence the need for the apostrophe.

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alan
Joke

Where do we send the CV's??

See title :)

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Westminster forced to switch off digital CCTV cameras

alan

Industry standard

The council said it had spoken to several camera manufacturers who confirmed that 704 x 576 is the industry standard.

We cant be using industry standards, becuase if we did any tom dick or harry could make the equipment, it would therefore be cheap. But our mates in industry wouldnt like that and they pay us lots, which we need as our expenses dont cover the cost of living any more. I mean who can live on 150K's worth of expenses these days, I ask you? Any way I digress please shut down your system and hand over large amounts of cash to MyMatesInc immediately :)

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Cost of a cuppa set to rocket

alan
Happy

re sarah

touché

Made me laugh :)

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Jacqui Smith pulls in another TV psych in violence probe

alan

re Did she catch one of her sons on the net?

Presumably she caught one of her teenage boys on the net looking at stuff she just made a criminal offence to look at, and now is conflicted?

Close but no cigar, it was the husband and we as tax payers have paid for it :)

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NYC 'Top Model' stampede: The truth revealed

alan
Thumb Up

and this is why

i love el reg and fridays :)

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Secret Aussie blacklist leaked

alan
Stop

Can They Sue?

If it lists travel sites and dentists can these people sue for defamation and lose of earnings, becuase a lot of Joe Public will now assoicate them with child porn.

These business might never know that the Aussie government are blocking them, and the reasons why!!!

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Dragons' Den winner infringed own patent, IPO rules

alan

Re Michael Habel

Cable ties are commonly used in IT, for tying cables......

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Scottish Parliament pr0n law faces angry opposition

alan
Happy

Re Re A victory for morals

I think a lot of el reg readers need to learn how to understand and detect sarcasm, becuase he was blatantly taking the piss.

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Doc-in-chief targets 'passive drinking' with price hike

alan
Unhappy

Nice Idea, Bad Plan

"Donaldson's annual report demanded that the UK recognise the effect of "passive drinking on society" and called for a shift in social attitudes "so that being drunk is no longer an aim of drinking nor socially acceptable"."

That I agree with. But just stick a big tax rise on alcohol, I am assuming here the gov keeps the cash and not tescos, does not tackle the problem and will not change the attitudes or behaviour of the people doing the drinking.

Please if you want to control what a small minority of the population are doing, which is destructive, then do it with out punishing the rest of us.

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Superfast-charging batteries? Whoa there, MIT

alan

re AC 15:01

Thats just disturbed me. I looked up "boff" in the urban dictionary. It has a whole new meaning for me

At school we had the BoffMan. Boff's were little purple sweets and the Boffman was the icecream man who sold them.

But now I am not so sure......

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Royal Mail disses runaway post van man

alan

Re Lee

But in todays society if you try and stop said pram and fail, knock the pram over and injuring said baby, you will be sued yourself, or possibly added to sex offenders register for trying to kidnap a baby you sic peado :)

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alan

I am in two minds

1 - I really hate people sueing for compensation, its just wrong, work for a living and accept your own mistakes and accidents do happen you dont need to blame some one

2 - Royal mail could say thank you and at least send the guy some flowers. If the van had hit somebody or something then they (their insurers) would have to pay up

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Eric Schmidt reanimates el cheapo PC zombie

alan

re Moore's Law AC 15:06

As my mum would say

If they jumped off a bridge would you?

No well then just because some iTards cant use it properly doesnt mean that we shouldnt

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alan

re nicholas22

"don't fucking post moronic comments, such as "he's misquoting Moore's law, etc""

its not a moronic comment to point out that the author has got one of the most fundamental laws in computing wrong. This is a computing site, and I for one would expect that one to be correctly quoted.

Alan

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PC World cuts off Capita call centre contract

alan
Happy

OMG

"By bringing the operation in-house we are taking back control of the customer experience, taking responsibility for and owning our relationship with the customer," DSGi said.

I think that bloke may actually know what hes talking about!!!

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'World's Worst Banker' joins Lads from Lagos

alan

Dont worry WUFFLES

They can only hold you for 28 days before they have to charge you :)

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Vatican vetos 'dot god' domain

alan
Happy

I am assuming...

"including groups from New York, Paris, Hamburg, Quebec and Boston"

That thats Boston, Lincs. It being the original :)

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Telenor shuns IFPI's 'block Pirate Bay' demands

alan

Re remember

Tele2 "agreed to a court order blocking access"

So they didnt give into the IFPI, they agreed to abide by the laws of the land (Denmark) which is fair enough.

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Softbank gives Japan free iPhones

alan

Free Is My Kind Of Price Point

I would have one for free, but I still think I would go with a high end Nokia N series over it.

:)

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Spooks told to get used to encrypted VoIP

alan

AES is secure Also Re Dave

Rijndael is AES

Rijndael was the name of the cypher before it began a standard, the standard name being AES.

Although I do agree with your comments about it being insecure becuase the government uses it. Its an open source algorithm, which has been round for many years (I know I bought the book detailing the algorithm many years ago whilst at uni). As computing power increases it will become easier to break as DES and triple-DES the previous standards did. But as that happens it will be improved and replaced.

If you are worried about the security of any algorithm go and get a copy of the cypher, and if its not available in the open market its not secure. AES is available, many very bright and independant experts have validated it, and if you dont trust them do the maths yourself.

Of course specific implementations may not be secure becuase they can have backdoors and bugs in them, but hay you have the algorithm write your own.

Alan

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Hertfordshire drivers endure 200-year roadworks

alan
Joke

Dont exagerate

its only 192 years!

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Debt collection can be harassment, rules court

alan

Similar Thing Happened to me

I was with powergen in a rented house, I moved out and bought my own place. About 6 months down the line I got some letters from a debt collection agency, after about 3 of them and 3 phone calls, and faxing them the contract showing the date I moved out was before the period of the bill and also the landlords name and address they were still just chasing me.

I was still with powergen at the new house and one phone call to their complaints department explaining the situation and that if I heard anything other than an appology from the debt collection agency I would switch suppliers, sorted the matter out for me.

So well done PowerGen and bad on you BG.

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Texting peer gets prison

alan

Re Gaz

Peers are the people in the house of lords, think stately homes, titles, and fox hunting and you are pretty much there.

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Ryanair trades blows with 'idiot blogger'

alan

That statement...

made my head hurt, what ever else happens that person needs to learn English!

"If you would be a serious programmer"

Thats quality english, that is. Are you sure it was a Ryanair staffer and not a nigerian 419er trying some new scam out??

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Home Office plans to force CCTV on shops and pubs

alan

CCTV - Solves All Problems

Lets have some filming MPs claiming expenses to stop them defrauding the tax payers.

As we all know that CCTV magically solves all problems without the need for expensive police officers, and that if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear

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Lads from Lagos crack cabinet minister's webmail account

alan

Constituency Correspondence

He has some??

If hes anything like my Labour MP, he just ignores it anyway.

Or maybe thats just becuase it was a difficult question on where she stood over the whole Mrs Smith affair.

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Former staff swipe confidential company data

alan

Re Neoc

Argggh

Now I am reading it a pokemon :(

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alan

Re Alacrity Fitzhugh

And that my son is why you will never be CEO of a large multinational company,

How are you going to justify your large bonuses and those of the other self-gratifying board members, if you havent shat over all your staff?

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Gadget-buying Taliban 5th column in Blighty - shock!

alan

Re TeeCee

Poor very poor, please stand at the back of the class now

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Landmark copyright trial against Pirate Bay gets underway

alan

Re Anonymous Coward 16:41

In the UK it is technically illegal to record off the airwaves due to IP infringement.

No its illegal to keep the recording for more than 30 days.

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How to survive the crisis: Sell kiddies booze

alan
Joke

Title

"although the long-term social cost of alcopop-crazed juveniles sticking decorated war veterans in supermarket trolleys and throwing them off the roof of the nearest multi-storey carpark has yet to be counted."

Surely in an ageing population this is a good thing, think of the pensions, wont somebody please think of the pensions.

Sorry

:)

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Tories search Google for economic policy

alan
Thumb Down

this is my title

Yeap great idea get a load of highly paid business men to sort everything out, they must know the answers as they got us in deep in the first place and its not as if they are isolated from the real world by the millions of pounds they earn each year. And the millions more they get when they cock up and are asked to leave.

Well I hope it works if only to get rid of the current lot.

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El Reg pays tribute to father of Playmobil

alan
Happy

see that wasnt too hard was it.

quality nothing less than the man deserved. next time do this without being asked.

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Footy star sues Facebook over fake fascist profile

alan

re dangermouse

but what happens when baron greenback, claims that he called dangermouse living at his address they will then send the password verification to his address and as they wont show your address on the site there is no way to tell you apart if he is using pictures of you. Hence not a lot you can do.

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