78 posts • joined 30 Sep 2008
shenannigans shenannigans shenannigans
"A comment is required" ... why fucking bother? Some bastard at ElReg chose to ignore my last one although I now see two other people were allowed to write exactly the same thing.
do not read it, do not post it - I won't even send it
a lack of knowledge about data protection is bad enough... but, as beautifully illustrated by RW above, our entire business strategy these days is one of crisis management where <<< absolutely no attempt is made under any circumstance to improve any situation within the workplace or the production line or the business plan or to our levels of finances or investments on the grounds that MBA students are all taught that there will be time enough to address any problem when it needs fixing >>> The current fix for a small banking and mortgage glitch is a classic example of crisis management <<< AKA - OFFS... quick, throw money at it >>> based on the simple premise that having starved the incumbent system of effective investment and support by systematically leeching every available profitable strain it MUST help the situation to give some of that cash back.
ha ha ha
and so we limp, like a terminal leprosy sufferer, from one mismanaged crisis to the next, constantly losing extremities <<< because there cannot be any profit in investing in silly things like "BAT" (using the best available methodology, equipment, technology) without that insane MBA mantra "NEEC" (without spending anything) >>> like they are going out of fashion and leaving only the soft core of our once vibrant economy and infrastructure to maintain and sustain the entire country. Where else but Britain would you see a train being transported by road?
ha ha ha ha ha - the biggest joke is that word 'economy'. The pound is the most depressed currency out there at present (making our goods and services MUCH more attractive to all foreigners) but we have also got an increasing trade deficit (we are still spending more and more abroad and making less and less at home). That's not an economy - that's a downward debt spiral. We don't have a source of raw materials to help activate our economy (except some north sea oil); there is no effective manufacturing base so we don't make anything to sell on the market; we have abused our education system for so long that it's good for nothing but generating sheep and our once proud banking prowess has been out-ed as the sham that it always was, we don't even make enough food to be self sufficient in a crisis. We transport glass halfway round the globe because it is cheaper to purchase and ship it from China than it is to recycle here and even the one recent growth sector - service industries - has been transferred out to India. We are a nation of useless 1/3rds who have given up our jobs in favour of living off interest... and there is no lump sum to generate that interest any more.
All that lovely cash - GONE - evaporated into a couple of very deep back pockets scattered around the globe. It's too late now, there is nothing left to amputate in order to try and stop the rot. Not only have the chickens come home to roost but we've sold the coop, burnt the straw and rented out the other shed to a bunch of exceptionally hungry foxes.
I appreciate the sentiment mate and normally I wouldn't stoop so low but ... ah what the hell it is a New Year and I haven't been censored yet...
One does not normally associate the consumption of milk by humans as being typically conducted directly from the cow. If you want to walk about town with a Holstein-Friersian on a lead and drop down in public periodically to stick one of her teats in your mouth then by all means, be my guest. but if I were you I'd avoid holidaying in India - just in case.
good start Mandy
I've been wondering what sheer incompetence will get you sacked this time round... I have this friend with US$25,000,000.00 who likes to send messages on the internet and he needs ....
I am sure that the quality of IT teaching is now much improved from the days when I used to fall asleep to the dull drone of a technician who was patently out of his depth. Fortunately for me (and everyone else in my class at college) I had already taught myself BASIC and was sufficiently good at maths to understand enough about the flow of data and logical progression through a program to ace the topic and was happy to use the other half of my time teaching the class during our tutorials.
Moving on to a job as a COBOL programmer I quickly found myself with two interesting skills... firstly the forethought to control the flow of a program in such a way that most 'problems' simply could not exist (specifically the rigid control of inputted data and the writing of numerous distinct, robust and simple modules). Secondly, I had an unnerving knack of being able to identify the weaknesses in programs and was always in demand by the other trainee programmers to "find coding error that crashed their batch run" and to "test to destruction" their own creations.
Ah, the good 'ole days when a "finished product" was compiled and then packaged, ready for distribution... not the offensive torrent of 'beta' releases that never actually get fixed or spend their entire (and short life) being updated, fixed, patched... Rule 1 has got to be, "the project may be complex - but keep the modules simple".
In all my time as a programmer and subsequently in helping others to attain similar qualifications and indeed whilst later teaching myself dBase(III and III+) I have discovered that the single most common problem in IT is sheer bloody incompetence, the source of most errors is inherent habitual laziness, the most common program writing error is a "," instead of a "." and the number one error is not in programming, it is a lack of rigorous testing.
... was also both dynamic and unique
Nanny Slut Whore Bitch Liar.
The remainder of this exceptionally long diatribe was removed because it was offensive.
possssitively speeeeeking DO SOMETHING
HOWEVER, Mother Hen... you completely ignored the fact that if there were no sites parading themselves as being "for the kids" there would be no excuse for children to be on a medium that is predominately PORNOGRAPHIC, UNREGULATED and rife with phish.
You ask what [WE] are going to do about it... well, I am most certainly going to AVOID promoting the internet for use by minors, same as I believe that a minimum driving/drinking/fucking age is a good idea. As you so correctly pointed out.... anyone could buy FaceBook and anything can appear on YouTube... Legal action takes place AFTER THE OFFENCE.... I would prefer to avoid the offence taking place in the first place. Check your feet for shrapnel... I am not part of the problem... YOU ?
Deep respect to Mother Hen.... you are obviously a considerably better informed and responsible individual than your counterpart Ms Guy and I wish you well with your venture.... but....
The internet is NOT for children, it never was, it never can be. It was bad enough for the last generation to be abandoned in front of TV as a form of nanny/entertainer/comforter for hours but this new reliance on computers and the internet to do the task of occupying a child's mind is nothing short of lunacy and it has to stop (if anyone genuinely IS "thinking of the children").
Children need to explore their imagination, they need to play and interact... none of these things can be done safely on the internet without one adult watching over each and every child for the entire duration. It would be more rewarding for both parent and child to sit down together with a jigsaw puzzle, lego or some play dough.
Americans can do sarcasm...
they just prefer pancakes and syrup
but sadly all this study suggests is that 99% of the people I communicate with are demented... hmmmm maybe not such useless research after all.
2098 sample from 60 million
...equates to a sample of 0.00345% of the population, or possibly just a pole of the permanent residents of the free lunch rooms at commons.
These figures are most impressive however when one compares them with the "officially released" figures of those "in favour of" the Manchester C-charge prior to the vote and the complete "extended middle finger" that the actual vote generated.
Oh, and Pat, I'll take option 4 please, much more fun than voting.
smug mobile user
doesn't use apps... saving £hundreds.
I have a camera for taking pictures, a piece of paper for taking notes and I install programs on a computer which has reasonable security. The phone I use just as a phone. Oh, and these rogue apps were nothing to do with me.
nothing interesting but
it is nice to see that amanfromMars' universal translator is now working. ;o)
the lunatics have taken over the asylum
The album image does not turn me on ergo... it is not pornography.
The character in the image is not suffering, ergo there is no obvious abuse.
No one is causing permanent harm to the subject's anus, ergo the image is legal as far as that political whore, the Goddess of censorship is concerned.
This ill planned knee jerk action aimed at an historical document has simply dragged the album and the image back into the public eye from the domain of relative obscurity that it had inhabited for decades. Well done to the IWF for confusing this delicate subject even further and reminding us again what paedophilia ISN'T !!!
The real problem is the lack of accountability. We just got shafted... ok, the decision was reversed but we still got shafted... no one said sorry. Who gets dragged, kicking and screaming over miles of searing red hot coals (no pictures please, if anyone was aroused by it we'd all be in the clink) for this illegal infringement of our basic rights?
Given that the overpaid pilot can't find it in his minuscule common sense gland to grab a couple of hours in a free hotel room to get his/her head down (ALONE) before arriving for the flight then surely (yes, I am serious) either (a) sack the pilot for turning up to work in an unfit state or (b) sack the pilot for sleeping whilst on the job.
Error 404 - I can't *Be there
Article 11 (b) of the Declaration of Human Rights states, "No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed."
This album cover, and the free viewing of it, did not constitute a criminal (penal?) offence when it was released in 1976 (admittedly, without the obscuring glass crack we would be in an entirely different situation). Nudity is not an offence; children are not breaking the law by being nude (it is, some would argue, a naturally tenable condition given the speed with which kids like to discard clothing). But any publicity shot of any member of Girls Aloud has more latent sexual content than the front cover art work on the Scorpion's Virgin Killer album. In truth, all this censorship does is to deny the odd sick peado from viewing an otherwise harmless image which, by virtue of being more than 25 years old, is part of the public domain.
Are we to assume, as the "Spinal Tap" equivalent goes, that it would be okay if a naked pre-pubescent girl was throwing broken glass at Rudolf Schenker or Klaus Meine since then she is not seen as the 'victim'?
If you, like me, can't even view the censored page by the way, try the Scorpion's own home page ( but make it quick, before the suits with no brains shut that down too).
just another phrase
like any other IT terminology that encompasses in one of it's defining words any aspect of computers, software, information, security, databases, data, network (as opposed to networking which is far less wholesome); or one of a growing list of following catch all titles like analyst, enabler, administrator, programmer, tester, systems (anything), (anything) technician blahdeblah.... what it really means is, "our office is full of useless idiots who think that the word password is a good idea for keeping their data safe, install file sharing software on their desk computers, spend most of the day typing when 15 seconds of ctrl-c ctrl-v would be just as effective, believe the spell checker when it corrects their grammar and we desperately need ANYONE with a nodule of common sense and perhaps a bit of competence with a computer so that we can make them do all the work".
Just wondering.... do they have they got enough technicians oop narth to service it?
(I kid dae wiv a cheenge o jobe an' I rither lek it in ma hame coonties)
bypass .tel and register with .419er and send your bank details along with everything else.
imagine? IMAGINE??????? FFS why imagine? I've been observing it for over 2 decades.
If we're going to sent that offensive tw@ all the way to oz... can't we get him on some program where he goes diving for sting rays?
(No offence to Mr Urwin; rather a much preferred alternative... RIP mate)
I am a little confused when you say, "a form that is more suitable for human consumption" is that "form" as in reductive translation from expressive and useful English into manipulative bang-my-head-against-a-wall-again spin... and is it to be "suitable" for us educated humans who have a mind of their own or is it just for the egotistical psychopaths that govern us to use against the general public?
Don't try to answer that - just print the comment for a change.
i got that email too
It wasn't half as funny as the other Gary Glitter joke I got sent either. Something about him being into bondage I think it was... you know - a "tie" on his....
One day - all photos will look like that.
Oh, and we have laws here to protect us from this kind of social abuse - problem is, no one dares taking the govUK to task over it.
after "enforcement" by jeff deacon
You pondered how long before 'government approved "Safety Software" to mediate (and report on) the use of the connection and the contents of the PC behind it' became the norm.... yup - it's predecessor is called, PHORM
small problem here
the images must be both pornographic - to wit: a turn on; and offensive - to wit: a turn off.
Basically, anyone who considers any image to be in both categories is completely insane and should, for the betterment of society, be bound, gagged, hung, drawn, quartered, sauted and stuffed up an antelopes arse. (don't try to imagine that in 62 days time)
I for one welcome our orwellian brain reading nanny (but only to her facile and deeply offensive face)
I wuv U vewwy much
Half the government are bent over backwards (well - makes a nice change from touching their toes) trying to enable the opening (fnaaaarr) of "adult entertainment clubs" in city centres whilst the other half justify their pathetic existence on a witch-hunt of anyone who considers the breasts (there dammit - I said the naughty word) to be anything other that bags of fun.
Meanwhile, we have a media extolling the virtues of slasher movies, Cannibal movies, rape scenarios in movies ... the list is endless.
Can we have a new icon to depict a smokescreen?
PS - what's TMI?... no really - my dick does taste of strawberries, but only in the summer, sorry about the pips.
lapdancing isn't sexually stimulating
yeh right - and my dick tastes of strawberries.
and on the other foot
not only must i contend with a regular portion of beefy spam in my in-box which, regardless of my attempts to report as junk always seem to bypass the junk mail folder... i am also in the enviable position of having a friend whose emails, for some inexplicable reason, ALWAYS get sent straight to my junk mail folder, despite the fact that he is in my friends/contacts list and has, to date, been actively designated as safe on no less than a dozen occasions (probably nearer 50).
so, dear Microsoft, please - play the ethnically typical pale skinned penis wielding human and remove with all haste your significant pointing index digit out from the depths of the dark and faecal-tainted orifice it currently finds itself embedded within.
3500000 quid? fek that
All you need to preserve the hut is a fekkin marquee tent. even accounting for hyperinflation that's never gonna go over £100,000. What a ripoff.
we are still losing the war on drugs
with all the resources available to the worlds greatest economies, it is not possible to curb the instinct of people to grab a few leaves, dry them and toke them up. Are our armed forces really that stupid or is it just the law that is that stupid. Only YOU can decide.
we need food, sweet food and we need it now... lots of it.
Curlywurlies a speciality.
Now then ... I was going to say something really tfffffft profound haaaaaaaaaaaaaa but I'm damned if I can tffffffft haaaaaaaaaaaaaa remember - oh yes - it's above... ;o)
hmmm silar plays leonard nimoy... dammit, spock... and everyone moans that they expect him to point his finger at people and instead of performing a vulcan mind probe he decides to laser their skull off and inhale their brains... whilst for me it was the other way around... watching heroes season one (episode 22 - landslide) and sweet little Hero, after breaking his sword, goes to find a sword repair shop (well - this is america, of course there is one nearby) and lo - isn't that dood in the back room a tad familiar - and all I could giggle was... 'beam me up'.
WTF was wrong with the last message i posted on this thread?
"Records for 25 million people, relating to child benefit payments for 7.25 million families, were sent using the HMRC's own postal system, called grid, but never arrived" - reward of £20,000 ... making the security of each family 'worth" slightly less than 0.3pence (or each individual a staggering 0.08pence).
Call me old fashioned, but I suspect that there is a better price available in Nigeria.
ah - that's better. Now, where was I? Oh yes... "nothing has been decided"... so how will it work? (we haven't decided yet), where will you store all the information? (we haven't decided yet), how safe will it be? (we haven't decided yet) and my personal favourite... what will the final bill to the tax payer be? (we haven't decided yet)
tr2n (tron 2.0 doesn't work for me)
At laaaaaast... Thinking back, Tron was the only Disney film that (for me) stood the test of time - I loved it as a yoof when we all had those aspirations and I loved it even more when it was shown on TV. Can't help but wonder if using crew from Lost is going to help but I can't wait for this sequel.
Oh - and "tron" was the name of a program, Jaowon... I always saw it as a form of immortality (my own may still exist somewhere in the code) ...they get upgraded sometimes.
do you hear voices?
The voice of enquiry asks, "where was the BBC was when Rockstar Games released Grand Theft Auto (san Andreas) with the 'hot coffee' patch embedded".
The voice of reason replies, "the fucking hypocrites".
The voice of humanity ignores them both and goes back to ramming police cars for fun and shooting street dealers for $2000.
planning my arse
London's congestion charge was a nice little earner, but before rolling the same money grabbing scheme throughout all of the major cities it is important to gauge the scale of the problem, both in construction/logistics, pricing levels/logistics, and perhaps most importantly, public dissent/logistics.
As a writer above so correctly pointed out, Manchester is going to be used as an excuse ... something along the lines of, "See, it worked in Manchester..." This might also explain why there is so little word of who is paying for the massive investment in publicity, billboards and bribes that is accompanying the move to introduce yet another stealthy tax.
I live just outside Manchester at the moment. Hopefully soon I can move back to Alba. I don't notice the congestion normally as a run into town at non-peak times takes less than 30 minutes. At rush hour though I need to give myself double that. The problem is merely with logistics. Too many useless turds planning the roads, not enough consideration to the cause of the problem, to wit: everyone starting work at the same time, finishing work at the same time, school run at the same time, too many "convenient" slip roads, too much reliance on the roads where canals, rail, trams and buses could easily take up the slack.
Solution? SIMPLE - no EXEMPTIONS! Then we'll see just how many council employees continue to provide support.
OFFS, by the same argument, should also be included. But I do protest, doth the man protest too much? Meethinks not. An article with no Paris Hilton is bad enough, No IT theme (unless we are to consider the bullsh.. that the Collins Dictionary appears to be desperate to emulate) normally attracts words of derision... but no PH, no IT and no fekkin IQ either? Must be a recession in the media too.
"Al hiv an ingin in an ah", as every Dundonian knows, is lunch.
A Subtle Difference
There is a small and curiously subtle difference between Mr Clarkson's jibe and the abuse metted out by Bland and Woss... I found the former humorous (albeit a tad riskee) and laughed; the latter was at no time or in any way entertaining. Am I to assume that the IT angle is the telephone that these people used in order to lodge their complaints?
Oh, and if there are any truck drivers out there reading this, I'm one of the few who deliberately flashes his headlights to say you've cleared me and are safe to pull in.
on a scale of 1-10, I award the following points:
Respect for Andrew Sachs 10
cuteness of innocent victim 7
reason for putting this lame ass story in ElReg 0
comedic value of Jonathan Ross 0
comedic value of Russell Brand -50
Good riddance you fucks.
did he jump or was he pu...t on hold?
wonders.... where his NEXT job will be... BT perhaps?
@ AC [17th Oct] 07:47 re: Scotsmen
I resemble that remark.
Anyway - isn't it equally likely that the poor skin condition is caused by all the fekkin crisps, sweets and chips they eat whilst on the phone.
ha - that's another 108 post thread the bastards are going to have to go over with a fine tooth comb - see you all in UberJail Britain.
@ Sarah Bee - "Go to your room"
oooo - is it time for a spanking ?
there is a more poisonous spider ...
Closest icon to a spider... :o) the cranefly or daddy longlegs is believed to harbour a more toxic venom than the black widow but, fortunately, due to our cool and damp climate their teeth are very soft and thus they are unable to puncture our skin in order to inject it.
I for one welcome the onset of global warming..... ewrrrrr.
you must be number 2... and just because you are paranoid - it doesn't mean that they aren't trying to kill you. Sorry - no penny farthing, will a round smiley face do?