Feeds

* Posts by Bassey

993 posts • joined 23 Sep 2008

Page:

What the heck is an IT Architect anyway?

Bassey

Money Money Money

It's just a term used by some ponces to try and get themselves bigger pay packets.

That is all.

0
0

Apple more closed than Microsoft

Bassey

Marketing

It's marketing on the verge of brain-washng. For example, smartphones have been around for years. They were a bit tricky to use but pretty flexible and very powerful and a few of us have been making great use of them.

Apple releases a (at first) not particularly smart smartphone and suddenly it's like the iPod all over again. Yesterday I trained two non-IT people. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. During the course of both training sessions I had cause to take out my Windows Mobile smartphone. Both asked if that was "one of those iPhone thingies".

I don't know how they do it but they seem to be able to occupy a consumer market, wrap it up completely to the point where their brand-name becomes generic (MP3 player = iPod, touch-screen smartphone = iPhone, online music store = iTunes etc.) and the general public don't care.

Even more frustrating are comments like "oh, I tried <other MP3 player> but it was crap. I couldn't get my music onto it from iTunes". In other words, lack of interoperability with other products and services is perceived by the public to be a problem with everyone else, NOT a problem caused by Apple.

I have this weird mix of wilting admiration, trembling fear and barely suppressed rage for them.

0
0

Samsung Pixon M8800 8Mp cameraphone

Bassey

Why no WiFi

In fairness, whilst WiFi would have been a must for me only 12 months ago, data speeds and costs are so low I haven't even bothered setting up the WiFi on my current device.

0
0

NASA developing brain-monitor hats for airline pilots

Bassey

I have an idea

How about playing pan-pipe music in the cockpit and auto-enabling a massage feature built-in to the pilots chair whilst lighting a few joss-sticks for them?

Alternatively, dislaying the words "Don't Panic" in large, comforting letters has a good track record.

0
0

Ofcom claims UK leads on digital communications

Bassey

Retards

So they removed analogue as an option and then, when everyone went for the sole remaining service, claimed this makes digital more popular? That's like saying snow is more popular in Finland than the Sahara. If it's the ONLY choice it can't be more or less popular than a non-existent alternative.

I say again. OFCOM. Retards.

0
0

What's lurking in your data centre?

Bassey

Legacy System

We have a "legacy" system. It was written in the early 80's. There are only two guys left at the company who wrote it and one is about to retire so the auditors are making us move away to a better supported product. The problem is, the current product has eveolved. It's been tweaked, streamlined and perfected. Granted, it may not look pretty. It still runs off a DOS interface using numbered menus to access the functions. But it does exactly what WE want and in the way WE want it. Some of it's features are years ahead of other rivals.

We've been eveluating competitor products for nearly a decade but none come close to the current product in terms of fitting OUR needs. Basically, we are going to have to buy an off-the-shelf product, take a huge hit in terms of functionality and, therefore, productivity and then spend several years trying to catch up to where we are today by writing out own plugins and interfaces.

0
0

World needs mobile phone wallets, cries trade body

Bassey

Re: Why

Seriously? You can't think of a SINGLE reason why this might be a good idea (and yes, I can think of a few reasons why it might be a terrible idea as well)? Bare in mind this is for small amount (less than £15) cash transactions. So, the first one, you don't need to carry cash. I'm already sold there. I never have cash because I live in a small village without a cash machine and never have time to get to one when I'm at work.

You only need to keep a small amount in your "Cash" account so that, should you lose your phone, the person who finds it can't spend you dry. BUT, 99% of mobiles have data connections so a secure way could be found of topping it up. So that's another reason why.

I could go on...

0
0

HTC Touch HD Windows Mobile smartphone

Bassey

So let me get this straight

So the article basically says previous HTC devices have been quite good but suffered in certain areas. This device has fixed most of those problems and is actually very good.

Then we get three lots of responses.

The first lot from people who haven't used the HD but have used previous WM devices but wish to dismiss this as crap because they had bad experiences with aforementioned previous devices - so presumably responded without reading

The second lot have this device and think it is the bees knees.

The third lot own an iPhone so would slag off oranges because they aren't apples and the rest of the world has learned to ignore their ejaculations, nod condescendingly and move on

Other than the soporific predictability of it all, do the first lot of respondents not even feel vaguely embarrassed when presenting an argument that amounts to "I don't own it but it must be shit because another device I once used was shit?"?

Probably not

0
0

Intel rallies rivals on parallel programming education

Bassey

Tricky one

I've be interested to read an in-depth opinion piece on this. As an old-fashioned sequential programmer myself, I can't help but feel that you need to learn to create basic programming structures before you go off and start programming in parrallel. There are also functions which, quite frankly, need to be programmed sequentially.

Also, I can't help feeling that learning to program in parallel is a bit of a waste of time. Surely it won't be long before JIT compilers are breaking our code up for us and making the best use of the resources available.

0
0

Apple bans iPhone app for changing version number

Bassey
Happy

Re: And Next Week

> What gives them the right to dictate how I use MY device on MY contract

Ha ha! I can't believe there are people out there who actually believe that, just because they dropped nearly £1000 on an iPhone, they actually own it.

The naivety is almost touching.

0
0

MPs: Fight grog-fuelled crimewave with PDAs

Bassey

Nothing to back it up

I have no evidence to back-up my assumptions (so I seem in good company) but I can't help feel the cost of land in the UK may have something to do with the violence/alcohol thing.

Whilst the cost of living in Scandanavia is high, the cost of housing is relatively far cheaper than here. This translates to people, on average, living in much nicer houses, bigger houses, having more space between them and their neighbours and there being much more green space generally. I haven't been to Sweden but I've travelled a fair bit through Iceland, Norway and Finland and the contrast between these countries and a typical British city is extraordinary. Britain just feels horribly cramped and claustraphobic.

I can't help but think that if I was paying £750/month to live in a grotty high-rise in Birmingham, with filth, noise and a complete lack of personal space, I'd be quite an angry person and would be tempted to get pissed pretty regularly to escape my circumstances. Add those together and you've soon got a load of drunk, angry people milling around looking for trouble.

Of course, that might be a load of bollocks.

0
0

Sony Ericsson HBH-IS800 Bluetooth stereo headphones

Bassey
Flame

Wireless Headphones?

WTF? Is this a knock-on from "Unlimited Broadband" with download limits? We now have wireless headphones with wires. What next, Asus start advertising Invisible Netbooks that you can see?

If you want wireless headphones, buy a pair without wires. If you don't mind having wires dangling from your ears, pulling the earphones out, buy a set with wires. Who, in the name of Jobs, is going to be willing to pay £100 for wireless headphones that have fucking wires!!!???? And would they like to buy the centres from my Polo mints 'cause I won't be needing them. Only £1 each!

0
0

Battleground email hoax postpones Election Day

Bassey
Happy

Plenty of this sort of thing

My Wife got back from Dublin last night where they were reporting on all sorts of schenanigans. My favourite was a poster outside a polling station stating "Democrat Voting 4th November, Republican Voting 5th November". Scandalous, obviously but also funny.

Although not as funny as Obama's Bob the Builder "Can we fix it? Yes we can" victory speech. It was a good job I'd already arrived at work when they played that on the radio this morning or I think I might have crashed the car I was laughing so loud.

0
0

Manuelgate's goth vampire stripper fades from MySpace

Bassey

Re: Not being funny or anything

I also agree with Geldof. However, wasn't it Brand who said of Geldof "Here is a man who knows everything there is to know about famine having dined out for 30 years on 'I don't like Mondays'"?

Now that WAS funny.

0
0

Academic avoids extradition over Holocaust denial

Bassey
Flame

I may not agree with what he says....

...but I will defend his right to say it.

This whole Holocaust denial thing is very scary. I understand it's a sensitive subject but the way to deal with these nutters is not to censor them but to let them makes tits of themselves by allowing them to spout their shite.

We have churches trying to stop people being taught evolution and evolutionists then trying to prevent kids being taught about God.

The BBC pulls articles suggesting Climate Change may be a load of hot air (do you see what I did there?) because the "facts" may confuse the public into believing something other than that which the BBC believes.

Maybe we should just all be given the encylopedia britannica on our 4th birthdays rather than going to school. Once we've learnt everthing in there we can be ragarded as posessing the sum of all human knowledge. That way we can scrap schools, universities, libraries, science, religion and all concentrate on making money to pay for CCTV cameras and systems to catch and incarcerate any heretical "thinkers" that may slip through the system.

0
0

Intel, Asus plead with Web 2.0 for notebook of the future

Bassey
Unhappy

Design by committee

Oh dear....

0
0

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage

Bassey
Happy

suspend

I think it would be quite funny if their service provider suspended their telephone service - much like they would for any of us who made a series of abusive calls. Not going to happen, obviously, but it would be amusing to see the Beeb try to justify it's phone-centric output as "Entertainment" once the phone part is taken away. It would certainly put an end to that fecking "Children in need" shite and, for that alone, I would have to thank the talentless twosome.

0
0

Harman Kardon brings high-end media centre to Blighty

Bassey
Thumb Up

Exchange rate

Hey, at today's exchange rate that makes the UK version roughly £150 cheaper than the US!

So, are we to start a "Rip off States" campaign, encouraging yanks to take long weekends in Blighty to do all their Christmas shopping?

0
0

Police poison speed debate with fuzzy figures

Bassey
Unhappy

Re: Do you know what DOES reduce accidents?

Actually Ash, that's completely untrue. It's been shown in studies (can't find 'em now but have read them - honest!) that these road-side memorials CAUSE accidents. The police are constantly asking people not to do it. You get the rubber necking effect, people braking too hard. There have even been really tragic accidents when those placing flowers have stopped their car in a dangerous spot and have been seriously injured or killed whilst placing the flowers or whilst getting in/out of the car.

It's a hard one, 'cause you can't really tell some grieving parent/widow/widower etc. NOT to place flowers at the site of their loved ones tragic death but it DOES cause accidents.

0
0

Speaking clock gets Disneyfied

Bassey
Thumb Down

I have an idea

If we all say, together "I don't believe in Faries, I don't believe in Faries" over and over, will Tinker Bell fuck off and die?

Just a thought

0
0

BBC clarifies location of England

Bassey

Reminds me

I was sat in a cafe several months ago and BBC Radio 1 was annoyingly blaring away. The news came on and opened with "Today, Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister...". Even the way it was said made it absolutely clear that the person reading it out was expecting a significant proportion of Radio 1 listeners to need the extra clarification as to who this Gordon Brown bloke was and why on earth Radio 1 might be reporting on what HE was doing rather than the latest exploits in "I'm a 3rd rate non-entity who'll do anything for a tango".

Anyway, I've noticed an even more annoying trend on the BBC news (both TV and radio) lately. They seem to have stopped reporting "The News" and have started reporting the Newspapers. Every fecking news item starts off with "The Times has reported that...", or "In today's Mirror it has been revealed...". It's as if the BBC news department has just become a news aggregation service.

0
0

BMW unwraps electric Mini

Bassey

being lazy

Based on the current 98p/litre for petrol and, say, a fairly average 45mpg for 200 miles a week, how does the running costs of this Mini compare with your average petrol small car?

I am correct in saying a unit is a KWh? I think I'm paying about 12p a unit at the moment (might be wrong by a huge amount - this is just a figure lurking somewhere in the back of my mind). If any of that is correct, a full charge is only costing £3.36 which is getting you 150 miles (or 2.25p/mile).

The above mentioned example for petrol works out at 9.9p/mile. So the electric is working out at 1/4 the cost per mile. Assuming servicing etc. isn't too horrific then surely electric cars are a no brainer and why aren't the motor manufacturers mentioning this huge advantage yet?

Everyone keeps going on about Electric cars as being "Environmentally friendly" - which depends on how your electricity is generated - but, lets face it, we're all more concerned with running costs but you never see these quoted.

0
0

Bee Gees belter may help cheat death

Bassey
Thumb Up

We use

We use the chorus from "Nelly the Elephant" by the Toy Dolls. However, you have to be careful to ignore either the one beat pause in the middle or the last beat otherwise you give them 31 compressions rather than the recommended 30.

That was recommended to us by St John Ambulance and has been confirmed by doctors and Heart Start.

0
0

Brit chemist conjures smell of outer space

Bassey

Sooo....

So, the only source they have for the smell of space is the smell astronauts get from their suits when they return from a space walk. Correct me if I'm wrong (like you lot need an invite) but Space walks nowadays are more often than not are done to repair the ISS. The astronauts pop outside to, ooh, I don't know, weld things together and the like.

And the predominant smell they get when they come back in is hot metal and welding.....

So, NASA. Not really all that smart after all then.

0
0

Ofcom confirms three Freeview HD channels 'by end of next year'

Bassey
Flame

Useless

No mention of the Border region there. Though it seems safe to assume that, having had the inconvenience of being the first to have analogue turned off (without yet even having the digital signal turned on) we won't actually benefit from being the first area to have HD - the reason given for turning off analogue.

The whole digital switch-over has been a complete farce. A few months ago I got a leaflet from the Digital switch people telling me my options for digital are;

Freeview - even though there is no freeview signal yet and they aren't turning it on for months

BT Vision - Not available in our area and never will be

Virgin - Not available in our area and never will be

Sky - yep!

So, not actually a choice then. Just Digital Switchover forcing us to pay money to sky. They also told me my TV signal was coming from an Ulster transmitter that would not be getting freeview until 2012. which is not true. I get my signal from a Border transmitter - which is why I get border TV and why they were writing to me. Ulster don't switch for a few years yet. Their letter even clearly stated they were writing to me as part of the Border switchover whilst telling me I was getting Ulster TV!

They really are a bunch of useless fuck-wits.

0
0

Siemens shows slim, sexy solar-powered cordless concept

Bassey

Even better...

An even better idea would be to have the solar cells built into the cradle along with a battery and a few usb ports. That way the battery in the cradle can be charging all the time (okay, maybe not when it's dark but you know..) and you can just put the phone back in the cradle when it needs recharging - as we all do now. The USB ports could be used to charge a mobile phone, MP3 player etc. over night as well.

In fact, why have the cradle. Someone just create a device that is basically just a large rechargeable battery covered in solar cells with several USB Ports. With suitable adaptors you could charge all your kit off it whenever you needed.

Does this constitute proof that I came up with the idea?

0
0

Blu-ray Disc a 'bag of hurt', says Jobs

Bassey

Re: @Maybe it's just me

> How many have 1080p TV's

Good point. Most have LCD TV's. A couple have 1080p. I would say half have HD TV's of one kind or another but the majority of those probably have 1080i/720p, not 1080p. It just isn't something most people care about. I'm a techy and even I'm not that bothered. When FreeSat PVR's are launched I'll probably pick one up (assuming you can get a decent capacity for around £150) but the cost of HD content is just way too high at the moment and the picture quality really does not justify it.

Yes, for certain stuff it looks a lot better but, really, Transformers? If that's the pinnacle of HD content then is it any wonder it's failing?

As a guide, here's the last several films I've rented;

There will be Blood

No Country for Old Men

Jumpers

Attonement

Fargo

Out of those, the only one that might have benefited from HD was Jumpers and, frankly, that would have benefited more from being sent back before I watched it - awful piece of shite.

So, in summary, HD is too expensive at the moment, there haven't been many decent films, everyone has huge DVD libraries and they don't want to buy them again in a new format and people just aren't that interested.

0
0
Bassey
Thumb Down

Maybe it's just me

I live in a very rich part of the world. Most people I know earn £40k+ and a lot of them are tech-savvy 30 somethings. In other words, my friends and I are the target market for BluRay. I don't know a single person who owns a BluRay player. Okay, I know one person who owns a PS3 but that was bought for the latest version of singstar and buzz, they don't own any BluRay discs. I also know one person who went out and bought a HD-DVD player and a shit load of discs just after that format went tits up.

I don't know why, but people don't want BluRay!

0
0

Compressed-air car to go commercial next year?

Bassey

Usual stuff

It looks like a cross between a London Eye Pod and one of those South East Asian Putt Putts. With a 130mile range and running on compressed air it's actually one of the more practical "alternative" vehicles as an everyday commuter for those living in large cities. However, it suffers from the usual problem that no-one in their right mind would want to drive one of these through (for example) central London because they'd be afraid of getting squished by a Truck/Bendy Bus/Chelsea Tractor.

There is a reason people buy feck-off great cars (other than vanity, keeping up with the Joneses etc) and that's because the media have convinced them everyone is out to get them and they need to be in something akin to a tank to survive.

0
0

Seagoing slime-skimmer snail ships punted

Bassey
Stop

Trail

Can't help but feel that the military applications for a device that leaves an easily traceable slime-trail in it's wake are somewhat limited.

0
0

Sony exec pours cold water on PS3 price-cut hopes

Bassey

Can't afford it

I personally don't give a damn as I don't play games (used to but no time since I got a life). However, seeing Sony's financial results, I can't help but feel the only reason they aren't reducing the price of the PS3 is because they can't afford to.

I'm actually suprised they don't produce a series of adverts promoting it more as a Blu-Ray player. It always amazes me that the vast majority of people still don't know about this aspect of it. If you want to upgrade to HiDef film playback then the PS3 looks like brilliant value for money.

If you don't care about Hi-Def just yet (and who can blame you, the software costs a fortune and there have been few films of late worth the cost) then it looks like a very expensive toy at a time when many people are cutting back.

0
0

Dial 'M' for Microsoft's new programming language

Bassey

Re: Welcome to Bafflix

Some but probably only about 30% - and I'm a programmer; albeit one still maintaining 10 year-old Windows applications written in a 12 year-old language.

I do sometimes wonder whether anyone actually uses all this technology? It's not like MS sells any of it as it's all included in an MSDN subscription. To me, it's just more crap I have to wade through when looking for the Visual Studio disc in my MSDN folder. I've worked in IT for nigh on two decades, know dozens of programmers personally and have met many others but I don't know anyone who uses any of the crap mentioned in this piece. I suppose they must be out there somewhere. Probably in India where all the large-scale projects seem to be based nowadays.

In the real world I'm beginning to suspect, like me, most people are stuck maintaining and enhancing ancient systems (our oldest - and most important - was originally written in 82) that still do the job and that nobody dare replace because no one person can quite remember how it's all bolted together or what the knock-on consequences would be.

0
0

Vista scrabbles for X Factor

Bassey

I may be mistaken but....

Surely the sort of people who watch XFactor have neither the brain power nor the inclination to switch on something as potentially interactive as a PC?

Incidentally, I've heard of Dannii Minogue but who the fuck is Cheryl Cole? Actually, on second thoughts, don't bother.

0
0

Turbo-charged wireless hacks threaten networks

Bassey

Who uses wireless?

Which "Financial Institutions" use wireless exactly? I've worked in the finance industry for years and there is a blanket ban on anything wireless. Even the Execs are banned from using wireless mice and keyboards. Who in there right mind uses a WiFi network?

Anyway, as stated above, brute-force attacks are only susceptible to systems administered by donkeys and, in those cases, you can probably obtain the password or entry to the network in much more convenient ways.

0
0

Radiation warning for low-energy lightbulbs

Bassey
Pirate

Worried

Only if you spend a prolonged period within 30cm of one! Shit, you have to be closer than that to get any benefit from the damn things. The backlight on my first Casio watch 30 years ago gave off more light than one of these things!

0
0

US woman shot by cast iron stove

Bassey
Alert

"There's always that one problem stray. And of course, it got me."

Does this mean she's done this sort of thing before?

0
0

'Podestrian' risk rising for drivers, warns insurer

Bassey

Earphones

This is (one of) the reasons why I hate in-ear headphones. I do a lot of long-distance road walking, a fair bit of it on roads without pavements, so I always wear open-ear headphones that allow me to hear everything going on around me. It's less friendly at work though, when people assume I can't hear them and start shouting at me!

0
0

Fraud victims urged to use DPA to rebuild credit ratings

Bassey
Stop

Re: Section 10

I think this would work but would have a fairly serious consequence. If you refuse to allow the credit reference agencies to report on you or get them to remove your data, you basically remove all traces of your credit history. This might sound like a good thing but in the current climate no bank is going to lend to you.

This may or may not be a good thing (depending on the position you started from) but is worth keeping in mind. No credit reference pretty much means no credit today.

0
0

UN urged to prep for non-fiction Deep Impact

Bassey
Stop

"Won't somebody please..." etc

Who gives a crap? Has anyone actually worked out the odds of this happening and it being a big deal yet? I'd really like to know what the chances are before we spend billions putting systems in place to deal with it.

There's a chance I might win £100Million on the Euro Millions lottery tonight but, other than picking out the first Island I'm going to buy, I haven't really invested an enormous amount of resources into planning for it because the odds are rather against it (especially as I've never bought a lottery ticket - but that's another issue).

Just because the potential outcome could be catestrophic doesn't automatically make it a worthwhile excercise to plan for it if the chances of it happening within a couple of generations are virtually nil.

0
0

David Blaine does a Benito Mussolini

Bassey
IT Angle

Re I don't get it....

Because, before he decided to go on a major ego trip and try to become the next Houdini (and I think we're all hoping he repeats Houdini's last stunt sooner rather than later) he was actually a very good close-up magician. In fact, according to a recent piece in one of the UK papers, he still is. He largely pays his bills by doing private performances for the rich and/or obnoxious.

Basically, if you've got lots of money, you can pay a fortune to watch him perform some seriously impressive close-up magic.

If you're poor and retarded, you can watch him sitting, standing, hanging upside down or whatever for free.

0
0

Met Office: Global warming sceptics 'have heads in sand'

Bassey

Good to see the blinkers are working well

So, temperature rises during a period of El Nino are are a sign of global warming - except for the extreme ones. But, should the temperature stop going up - or in fact, fall - during an Il Nina then that is all down to Il Nina, global warming is still happening, and anyone who dares to ask questions, start a debate or otherwise disrupt the band-wagon is a heretic and will be stoned!

Did David Blaine question Climate change?

0
0

Apple 2G iPod Shuffle

Bassey
Thumb Down

Re: Paul

> cheap enough to be practically disposable

£45 is practically disposable? How the other half live, eh?

I think the shuffle looks like a great piece of kit but couldn't possibly justify the cost. £45 for a 2GB player is appalling. I can buy a 16GB MicroSD card for (just) less than that and stick it in one of those USB-Key style MP3 shufflers that catalogues give away free when you place an order over £10!

Okay, it might look shit, not have the "tactility" of the Shuffle or whatever else but, hey, I'm carrying nearly all my music for less than a shuffle that can only carry a tiny fraction and it will take a AAA Battery.

0
0

UK faces long wait for faster number porting

Bassey

I see problems

The Isle of Man - a much smaller market, often used as a test bed by the UK - has been in the "process" of implementing a centralised number system for at least two years now and there is still no end in sight. Either it is a lot more complicated than OFCOM are suggesting, or it is far too easy for the incumbents to hobble the whole process in order to cling on to their advantage. Obviously, I couldn't possibly comment as to which of the two I believe to be the case!

I would not be at all surprised to see the UK go the same way and, indeed, with vodaphones comments this seems to have started already.

0
0

Page: