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* Posts by Bassey

1039 posts • joined 23 Sep 2008

Moon orbiter detects pole-plunge hotspots in dark bottom

Bassey

Obvious answer

The answer is obvious. The depths of the crater, far from containing large reserves of frozen water, actually contains huge quantities of memory foam. This is fantastic news for the mattress-topper manufacturing industry.

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Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

Bassey

Martial Arts

Can place Martial Artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor"

What if the competitor is also using the CDs? Would this be a case of the irresistible force and the immovable object*? Would both competitors remain locked in eternal combat? Would Chuck Norris just roundhouse them out of existence?

Incidentally, I strongly suspect the woman quoted as having larger breasts after "just three weeks" had probably just started her period. Had she measured over a reasonable period of time she'd most likely discover they get larger every month around the same time and then return to normal again.

* Yes, I know the two can never co-exist. Crawl back under your rocks people.

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'Amateur' IBM brings down Air New Zealand

Bassey

Nice work

That statement/rant had all the hallmarks of level 1 blame transference ass saving from a man being asked a whole lot of questions to which he has no acceptable answers.

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Microsoft sees no silver lining in Sidekick server snafu

Bassey

Amazing

Amazing the number of commentards above who are perfectly willing to hang, draw and quarter MS based on - well, no evidence whatsoever. Am I safe to assume these are the same people complaining about the government/police-state continual erosion of civil liberties etc?

Obviously, this is a huge fuckup etc etc, but there is ABSOLUTELY NO evidence to backup the dozens of claims above that "all the eggs were in one basket" or that there were no backups.

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Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

Bassey

Re: Hideous

Brilliant! I've been trying to think what it looked like and you're right. Someone said "yep, that's perfect", but then accidentally fed the model through the rollers of a printing press. It's the only way someone could end up looking like that!

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Android to overtake iPhone in 2012 - analyst

Bassey

Clever

So, with the exception of Symbian, he's grouped his figures so closely together that, with a margin of error of just +/- 1% he could move any of those four OSs to any of the four positions and claim he was right. Genius.

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Desktop minipoll results – user ignorance is bliss?

Bassey

IT don't help themselves

As a developer who works closely with the "Service Delivery" function, the service guys often don't help themselves. I notice there was no option for "we fucked up and the phones started flashing".

A couple of weeks ago, a system "just stopped working" (it was a Monday morning - warning bells start ringing in my head). The Service Delivery boys called me up to see if I could help. It was immediately obvious the software couldn't access the database so I asked SD whether anything had changed over the weekend. They denied having changed anything.

To cut a (very) long story short, over the next two hours, in dribs and drabs, they confessed to;

1) Upgrading the version of SQL Server over the weekend

2) Moving SQL Server to a new physical Server

3) Renaming the SQL Server instance

4) Changing the name of the admin account

5) Changing the password for the admin account

Once we had the truth, it was a 30 second fix. But Network administrators (or whatever they're called where you work) acting as if they own (rather than maintain) all the hardware and making changes without following proper processes and procedures account for a fair proportion of phone calls in my experience - and I've worked on both sides of the divide and caused a fair few outages myself!

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Amazon eyes wander as Royal Mail strike looms

Bassey

Hope they don't lose Amazon

The main reason I use Amazon is because of the Royal Mail. Living on an offshore-Island, the Royal Mail are the only ones who charge the "normal" postage rate to delivery stuff here. As a result, the Amazon price I see is what I pay. Unlike thousands of other website who will frequently add-on a £10 or more "Offshore surcharge" at checkout.

If Amazon kick the Royal Mail into touch (and you could hardly blame them) I'm going to have to dig around for another site that uses the RM - if the RM survive. My understanding is that Amazon is a massive percentage of their business and they'd be unlikely to survive the loss of the contract in anything like their current form.

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Ralph Lauren DMCAs thin Photoshop skills

Bassey

Forget the soup and sarnies

She's beyond the point where soup and sandwiches will be of any help. Somebody break out the emergency pie kit, damn it. Steak and Kidney in thick, rich gravy is her only hope.

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Ballmer mixed on Windows 7's success

Bassey

Re: Elephant / room

Come on, no need to be so shy, tell us what you REALLY think!

Always amazes me that people get SO angry over zeros and ones. Step outside AC. Take some deep breaths. Look around. Maybe try speaking to another human.

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Tories would take an axe to Labour IT policy

Bassey

Sounds like the same thing

So they're promising to do exactly what Labour have been promising to do and in a sodding expensive way. "Giving people ownership of the data" might sound wonderfully empowering etc. but A) most people don't give a shit about owning their own data (they just want to be able to trust the people that have it) and B) "Empowering" usually means trying to provide some kind of secure access over the internet - which immediately rules out the poor and the elderly and opens up a whole new layer of attack surfaces, complexity, expense etc. etc.

Forget "Getting Britain Working". It should be;

"Conservatives: Same shit, different coloured tie".

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Windows Mobile 6.5 ships today

Bassey

Bit out of date, aren't we?

Whilst I agree that there is little, if anything, to get excited about with WM6.5, the version you're showing here is WAY out of date. For a start, the honeycomb thing was dropped back in May. The "soft-keys" at the bottom have changed beyond all recognition too. For me, the only change that has actually made any difference is that the pop-up menus are much bigger and more finger-friendly (yawn).

Then again, the main strength of Windows Mobile over it's competitors is that you don't need to see the default shell if you don't want to. Personally, I run Touch Flow 3D but you can choose Mobile Shell 3.5, PointUI, Winterface or any of the others. You see, Mr Jobs doesn't own my phone. I do.

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Cameron escapes Twitter twat rap

Bassey

20 complaints

I notice that OFCOM always quote the number of complaints as some kind of justification. Maybe I'm being naive but if someone breaks the law or some rule, then that is wrong. It's wrong if one person complains. It's wrong if a million people complain. Just as, if 400 people make a complaint but it turns out no rules were broken, then it wasn't wrong.

Now, I can accept the argument that shifting weight of popular opinion should drive the creation/removal of rules over time but, once the rules are there, what on earth does it matter how many people complained that someone broke them?

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Bassey
FAIL

And to think....

And to think, some people have accused Ofcom of being a bunch of completely toothless, useless tax sponges. They showed you lot!

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iPhone voted UK's 'coolest brand'

Bassey

Where did they find the 2450 plebs from?

It reads like a Chavs Christmas wish-list. Presumably, the only reason Burberry doesn't feature is that all the Chavs have so much of the stuff they couldn't cram any more in their IKEA wardrobes.

I mean, Rolex FFS? Virgin? Mini? YouTube?

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DVLA pledges investigation over Castrol spy posters

Bassey
FAIL

fail

Most of the people I know wouldn't have a clue what their own number plate is - or where to put the oil once they'd bought it! The days of maintaining your own car are long gone for the vast majority.

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Flickr!: Now! with! added! Yahoo!

Bassey
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Re: I'll show them insulting

> this is far more than just a new logo: It's a rude, condescending insult to all of us!!!

If they genuinely think that's a rude, condescending insult, they've clearly never visited The Reg's comments pages. "Oh look, the company that has bought and paid for the service I use for free wants to put their logo on it. Let's make a noise whilst sitting on our fat arses doing fuck-all of any practical use to show our displeasure". Whining freetards!

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O2 launches democratically-minded MVNO

Bassey

Oh come off it

> We're not sure which established business is out-done by Wikipedia

For god's sake, you, I and the rest of the educated world might question it's accuracy/management and several others aspects of it, but Wikipedia was directly cited by Microsoft as the reason for stopping Encarta. Additionally, how many of the small handful of CD/DVD based encyclopaedias, so popular 5-10 years ago, are still churning out annual releases since Wikipedia?

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Geordi LaForge video-to-brain rig built at MIT

Bassey

Deja vu

Such systems have been around for a couple of years and have been tried out on people. I'm sure the "microfabricated polyimide stimulating electrode array with sputtered iridium oxide electrodes" is new, but there has been a system that stimulates a basic image using a (IIRC) 8X8 pixel array for some time and there was talk of that going up to 16X16 - all in black and white mind.

Again, all off the top of my head, but the system I've seen was basically an 8X8 CMOS implanted into the optic nerve using an array of 8X8 probes.

It's unclear from the article exactly how this new system improves upon the existing systems or what has happened to those?

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iPhone and Windows Mobile get the (Gmail) Push

Bassey

@pixel

Not sure I believe you or that you actually have a clue how push email works there fella. The whole point of push is that the server does the work, so saving YOUR battery life. If your device is polling every few minutes, it's using up power. If I don't get any emails but have push turned on, I use no juice. Any explanations as to how you feel doing nothing uses twice as much energy as doing something over and over again would be much appreciated by myself and energy conservationists the world over.

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Pull the plug on Pandas, declares BBC man

Bassey
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Quick question

To those suggesting above that it's okay to let things die out naturally, "unless it was because of mankind", do you view yourselves as somehow super-natural?

I've always considered myself a part of nature. If I cut down a tree and it contained the last "purple Wiznook", the purple wiznook has died out as naturally as if it was eaten by a Lion.

I watched "Last Chance to See" on Sunday and, whilst beatifully shot, the complete bollocks about the deforestation of Madagascar was maddening. We deforested Britain and most of mainland Europe. Why the hell are we stopping them having a great quality of life just to save a few ugly little primates who haven't evolved to survive without a dwindling natural resource?

Eventually, some day, we might use up all the resources and, unless we evolve, spread out to other planets etc, we'll die out and Earth will get along just fine without us. 65 Million years from now some species will be digging up our fossils and making films about how we have been recreated from the last batch of frozen embryos....

"Conservationists" annoy me almost as much as religious fanatics and strike me as appallingly similar in their view of humans as somehow superior.

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World's first button-less, gesture-based remote launched

Bassey

Oh dear

Title says it all

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HTC readies radical Touch HD revamp

Bassey

Strange

This would seem to indicate that HTC are looking to use Windows Mobile on their low-mid end devices (the Touch 2, for example) whilst putting Android on the High-end devices. Despite Windows Mobile costing (in terms of license per device sold to MS) whilst Android is Open Source. Bizarre!

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Swedish bloke attempts lactation

Bassey

Suggestion

If he really wants to get closer to his children at an early age could he maybe just try singing, reading, playing, the odd cuddle? No? Really? Sorry.

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Sale talks heat up at T-Mobile UK

Bassey

Re: Sampler and Rob

It can't just be "any change" to the contract. It needs to be a "material" change i.e. one that would effect your service/usage/costs etc in some meaningful way - and not necessarily even to your detriment!

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YouTube UK welcomes back the music

Bassey

Meh

I wasn't actually aware YouTube carried music videos until I saw the headlines saying they were being taken off. Actually, I haven't seen a music video since the 90s. I remember when it was green fields, as far as the Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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LG, Sony Ericsson Windows Mobile 6.5 phones outed

Bassey

Re: if...

It looks like it really is that slim. The spec sheet says;

* Size: 110 x 54 x 16 mm

* Weight: 115 grams

That's pretty damned sleek for a full QWERTY device.

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Windows 7 versus Snow Leopard — The poison taste test

Bassey

Re: John Sanders

> have you guys check what happens if you try it on any of those Pentium 2.4mhz 512mb most

> business run on (Or those Semprons 1.x/2x) XP is here to stay for a long time on those.

Actually, yes. Ran Win7 on a Sempron (1.5Ghz - I think) we had lying around at work to test compatibility with a piece of software we're about to release. Now, it was absolutely vanilla. No AV, no browser plugins, no office. It wasn't even on the network (it's as if they don't trust my software!). But it absolutely flew. Booted in 15-20s and was generally fast and responsive. People were genuinely stood around watching in amazement. And it was a HP for fooks sake!

Of course, that would probably be the case with most machines that didn't have the (all too necessary) crap that slows them to a crawl.

But that's just one example. I've run most of the Win7 builds on lots of different hardware and it just IS a lot quicker than Vista. I actually liked Vista, but on my Core2Duo 2.4GHz with 2GB RAM it sucked - until I removed Office 2007. Then it was fine.

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Illinois bright spark sparks car inferno

Bassey
Happy

Re: Remy Redert

> We evolved away from brute force a long time ago

Hey! Less of the "We" pal! Whilst you're stood around with your brainy friends trying to figure out the best way to achieve something, I've already hit it with a hammer!

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Bassey
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Re: Natural Selection

> natural selection was thwarted again

Far from it! Natural Selection = Survival of the Fittest. This woman survived a petrol bomb, despite being just inches away, got back up onto her feet and then pushed a car across a forecourt. And remember, this is the US. That won't be a Renault Clio or a Fiat Panda. That'll be several tons of steel!

This woman appears to be an evolutionary leap forward. All hail!

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NY residents sue for $100m over phone masts

Bassey

Might have trouble proving that

How can they prove that these boxes are causing house prices to go down? For a start, the housing market is in a depression. And, in any case, advertising your town as a technical backwater with no telecommunications infrastructure is hardly likely to attract the nouveau riche into the area, is it?

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Sony snubs Microsoft in Google Chrome browser deal

Bassey

So this is why...

This is why Google caught us all by surprise and removed the beta-tag about a decade earlier than with any other piece of Google software. I suppose it was a bit difficult to tout it around all the major hardware makers when it was still officially in beta - especially given the Vaio brand's natural home as the play-thing of the "Executive"

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UK Music secret data: 'Young people will pay for downloads'

Bassey

Riiiiight

"The young people revealed <they> still participated in illegal downloading because they liked to own material"

So these would be the 1800 that DIDN'T get A-grade GCSEs and A-Levels then? Who wants to be the first to point out to them that stealing something doesn't mean you own it? It still belongs to the person you stole it from it's just that you are now benefiting from the possession.

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Panasonic DMR-BS850

Bassey
Thumb Down

Sounds familiar

Sounds like we are back to the early days of DVD recorders - each brand seemingly using a slightly different finalisations process so you end up with a lottery as to whether other machines will be able to read your finalised Disc.

Yet another reason not to bother with BluRay. At the moment you risk spending £150 (ish) on a player that will have to be replaced in a couple of years because it can't read the Discs your PC's built-in BluRay recorder is producing.

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Belgian boy's iPhone 'explodes'

Bassey
Happy

How do you return it?

Are you allowed to send an iPhone through the post? My understanding is that the Post Office won't accept explosive devices?

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Google probed by Italy's anti-trust arm

Bassey
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Re: Sorry that handle is already taken

Damn. Beat me to it :)

Maybe it just works the other way around to all other competition Authorities. Their job must be to eliminate ALL competition from the market save those controlled by Silvio "Where'd I leave my pants" Berlusconi.

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How to run Mac OS X on a generic PC

Bassey
WTF?

Why?

Why would you pay an EXTRA £253 to ruin your lovely PC with that piece of unintuitive crap? Do yourself a favour and stick Windows 7 on there.

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Walfamstow Cockney cash machine daffy ducked

Bassey

What?

What?

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Rogue admin charges cut to size

Bassey

Big Red Bus

Over here it's generally referred to as the "Big Red Bus" scenario.

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Hedgehog quip secures Fringe's top gag crown

Bassey

Good to see...

Good to see the only two women in the list keeping up the tradition of women comedians only ever telling jokes about "women's" issues. Although the Rose West one was, at least, actually funny.

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Tesla Model S poses for cameras

Bassey
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Oh

Disappointed. Not sure what I was expecting but, after the Tesla, something a bit more attractive than that. The head-on view, in particular, is hideous.

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MSI intros 12in Wind notebook-not-netbook

Bassey
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SCC

So, a Small Cheap Computer that is quite large and fairy expensive. Should sell well.

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PS3 backwards compatibility gone for good

Bassey
WTF?

Not sure why you'd need it

Not sure why you'd need backward compatibility. That would suggest that someone who owned, say, as PS2 long enough to build up a back catalogue worth bothering about, was STILL playing video games when the PS3 came along.

I mean, sure, I loved playing manic miner on the Spectrum, but by the time the next set of machines had come out, I was probably about 12 and had grown out of playing computer games! Can I suggest that, if you think the lack of backwards compatibility in consoles is a tremendously important issue, you should maybe turn off the machine, open the curtains and, heaven forfend, maybe step outside and talk to a girl!

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Dan Brown is most unwanted author says Oxfam

Bassey
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Re: Stu 4

> Er... since when has the Catholic church promoted the bible!

promoted/wrote, tomaytoes/tomahtoes....

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Palm rejected Jobs's 'no poaching' Applers offer

Bassey

Astonishing

Jobs and Apple engaged in anti-competitive practices of a highly dubious legal status?

How VERY dare you!

Now go and wash your mouth out with soap and water.

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A quarter of Brits packing multiple mobiles

Bassey

One pub phone

I have a nice, fancy smartphone for business and personal use and a 6+ year-old crappy little phone that I use when going to the pub (though that was a long time ago!), going on holiday or taking out walking with me as an emergency spare in the bottom of my ruck-sack. Bought it for a fiver from a mate who was upgrading.

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How to set up your HDTV like a pro

Bassey
Pint

Cheers El Reg

New Philips Full-HD telly arrived yesterday. And I'm sure the wife would also like to thank you, now that I'm going to be spending half the weekend (the half when the Ashes ISN'T on, obviously) fiddling with the picture!

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Japan torture flick sickens UK film censor

Bassey
WTF?

At least it's upfront

At least you know what you are going to get with this one and the makers have been quite upfront in their advertising and promotion. If you're a sicko and enjoy that sort of thing - watch it. If not, you can avoid it.

Unlike Slumdog Millionaire which got a 15 cert and was promoted as the "Feel-good film of the year" and opens with the torture by electrocution of a child and then goes on, via flashbacks during his 24 hour torture, to tell the story of a boy who witnessed the brutal killing of his own mother and the blinding of friends to make them more effective beggars.

Presumably that was okay because of the sick and depressing narrative.

Maybe the makers of Grotesque should show the back story of the psycho. Maybe something cheerful like him being raped by his Dad. Then we'd have "narrative" and "character Development" so it would all be okay, right?

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Old-school virus threatens Delphi files

Bassey

It's a job!

We still have tons of legacy Delphi code and it still requires updates and maintenance. One of our main Delphi systems celebrates it's tenth birthday in four weeks time.

Happy birthday to you...happy birthd......

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The legal risks of uncontrolled IM use

Bassey

Really?

More IM use than email within 18 months? Really? Does anyone work for a company that uses IM? I don't know of any outside of those offering technical or on-line sales support.

I've only used IM twice - both times in a tech support context where it works quite well. Never really seen the point otherwise. But then, I'm an old fart.

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