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* Posts by Bassey

1010 posts • joined 23 Sep 2008

Microsoft feeds Excel to supercomputer

Bassey

No wonder the markets collapsed

End User Computing rules were (supposedly) put in place years ago to prevent end users creating "applications" in Excel on which business decisions are made and Auditors are supposed to highlight any such apps as findings. It doesn't mean Excel can't be used necessarily, but the processes for creating them must be the same as for any other application. Business case, specification, development, testing, documentation etc. And the spreadsheet must then be locked down so that end users can't buggerise it.

So MS has basically developed a product that allows financial companies to more effectively break standard accounting practices. Bravo!

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Sony unveils Mills & Boon Reader

Bassey
Thumb Up

Miss-read

Hmm, must read more slowly. Nearly bought one when I miss-read Christmas Betrothals as "Christmas Brothels"

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Oxford American Dictionary dubs 'unfriend' Word of the Year

Bassey

Tramp Stamp

That must be an American term. Over here, they're called "Arse Antlers".

And BBC breakfast's female presenter this morning (Kate?) advised viewers that "If you have any comments on today's stories, please feel free to sext us your views" mush to the amusement of Bill who choked his way through his next line.

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BBC publishes Freeview HD timetable

Bassey

No surprises

So, no surprises that those of us who were forced to switch first, when the new equipment wasn't yet available and when the procedures were still complete bollocks (we were sent a pamphlet detailing the "Four ways to go digital". Except three didn't apply in our region), won't benefit by being the first to get HD. No, treat the country bumpkins like shit, experiment on them, get things right and then give all the good stuff to the townies.

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Home Office accused of sexing-up mobile phone rescue

Bassey

Cell phone data

Just because the cell triangulation wasn't used in this particular case doesn't mean it isn't useful. I've been involved in three rescues this year in which cell-phone triangulation was either the main factor involved in finding a person or greatly reduced the search area/time. I, too, live on an Island and, whilst it's common not to have the required three cells for an accurate location (due to, pretty much always, being near the coast) two towers will give you a pretty good idea where someone is - combined with local knowledge.

Of course, none of that requires the recording of data. In both the case presented here and the ones I have been involved in, the data was taken from the moment a request was made (along with a fecking huge charge from the telecom provider - batards!) . Historical data was not required. Actually, in one case it would have been very useful but we got lucky and managed without.

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Quickening satellite quickens pulses at ESA

Bassey
Joke

Have they checked

Did they make sure that everyone was using the same units of measurement when they made the calculations? You know what that space lot are like. One lot using yards, the other using metres.

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Atlantis crew gears up for Monday launch

Bassey

Great photo

That team photo is great. Everyone has identical smiles, except for the guy on the left who clearly didn't hear the photographer say "cheese" because he's too busy listening in to a conversation just off camera to our right.

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Revealed: The amazing premise behind Ridley Scott's Monopoly

Bassey

Sounds familiar

Isn't that basically the plot of Jumanji?

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Play.com leaves Modern Warfare 2 buyers empty handed

Bassey

It's a game!

FFS - get some perspective, kids! It's a game! It'll still be a game tomorrow or next week. If your copy didn't turn up, take it as a sign. Open the curtains. Open the window. Breath in the air. Heaven forbid, maybe even step outside - but not for too long. I know it's winter but that sun is still way too string for your kind.

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Wii to receive dedicated iPlayer feed

Bassey

Re: OFI

Yes, the browser went free but the new, free version, kills iPlayer. Something I only discovered after following the Wii's message advising me to upgrade to the latest version. Gits!

Still, this is good news.

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Google Chrome web protocol seeks 2x download speeds

Bassey

Re: Si 1

Amusing. You slag off Microsoft because they may, at some point, ruin Google's plans by....doing exactly what Google has just done. Although, of course, that's fine because everyone knows MS are evil and Google are as pure as the driven snow.

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Luvvies make last ditch appeal for radio mics

Bassey

Re: Transition period

That's a valid point for professionals. But there are thousands of amateur's out there. Think of an amateur dramatics company, for instance. I performed with one who had about 30 wireless packs - probably a couple of hundred each. They are a charity. They had to raise the money to pay for them and they sure as hell aren't "depreciating them on their books" over 3-5 years. If they have to replace them, they need to go cap in hand to a potential sponsor.

And there aren't too many individuals or companies willing to fork out money to sponsor the arts in the middle of a recession.

Same goes for bands who might have clubbed together to buy the kit. My last band didn't go wireless, but we all clubbed in and bought £1500 of PA equipment seven years ago. It's still going strong and I wouldn't anticipate having to replace it for another ten years, at least. Had we gone wireless, under these rules, we'd have to replace it very soon and we'd all have to fork out again. We'd get feck all for our current kit, even though it's perfectly decent.

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DARPA in bid for shark-portable laser rayguns

Bassey

Any volunteers...

Anyone want to volunteer to try and fit a 10kg ray gun on the head of a great white shark?

Then again, I suspect Evil Billionaires don't really "ask" for volunteers, do they? Asking isn't really part of the Evil gene.

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Europe welcomes Dell's Mac Mini Zino HD

Bassey

Good grief!

The ASROCK 330 is under £250 including HDMI and is only about £75 more with a BR. Granted, you're stuck with a dual core atom but I've been running one for a while now and it flies with Windows 7. It's also smaller and looks nicer. The only thing the Dell seems to have going for it is the memory card reader (REALLY wish that was built into the Asrock but have a memory stick adaptor that does the job) and the Colourful cases (no thanks).

Way, way overpriced.

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Visual Studio gets Linux dose with Mono

Bassey
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In the real world

Not even virus/malware writers, the lowest forms of life on this planet, bother writing for Linux/OSX because the market share is so utterly insignificant that it isn't profitable. There are so few linux/OSX users out there that it is not even worth the time to STEAL their money!

Why, in the name of jobs, would anyone fork out a bucket-load of cash in order to port an application over to a platform used by a handful of freetards who consider paying for stuff to be against their civil rights? You'd have to be monumentally insane!

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BT call centre staff snaffle £45m lottery win

Bassey
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Re: Anonymous Coward @ 23:49

Comedy gold, my friend. Comedy gold :)

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Watchdog clears NotW over renewed phone hack allegations

Bassey

Re: Anonymous sources

"So every story that comes from an anonymous source is nonsense now"

That's not what I said and you clearly know NOTHING about watergate. Several people were arrested after breaking in to Watergate. How is that a rumour or gossip?

How about I make up a rumour saying you fiddled your Taxes. If, after an investigation, there is nothing to back that up other than my rumour, are you happy to be convicted? Don't talk such bollocks!

Just because you (and I) don't believe it was true doesn't make the decision wrong if there was no evidence to back up our beliefs. If the Guardian's "source" wasn't prepared to put up there is fuck all the IPCC can do. And a bunch of imature conspiracy theorists whining ain't going to change the facts.

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Bassey

Guardian nonsense

Whilst I suspect wire-tapping WAS widespread (several "celebrities" have admitted to conversations with journalists in which they were asked about things they had only ever mentioned in phone conversations) the Guardian appears to be overlooking one crucial point;

The IPCC did not need to "provide evidence to contradict the FACTS in our report". There WERE no facts in the Guardian report. There were unsubstantiated, anonymous claims. We, in the real world, call them "rumours" or "gossip". Call me a sentimental old fool but, in the old days, you weren't allowed to convict someone based on gossip (unless they were a witch, obviously). It was not up to the IPCC to provide evidence to contradict the gossip, it was up to the Guardian to supply some evidence full stop. That's how it works.

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WarMouse pushes gamers' buttons with OOMouse

Bassey

Re: Paul Brain, Less is More

Excellent. That's means I have shit loads of money!

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Spain cuts off 3m pre-pay mobiles

Bassey

Might not be used

I probably have half a dozen PAYG SIM cards with various different retailers. I don't like contracts and usually find it is a lot cheaper to buy a new phone, discounted on PAYG, and then stick my own SIM card in it. As a result, I have quite a lot of SIM cards that have never been used or I've just used them until the few quid credit that came on them has been used up.

Most of the network will give you £50-ish off the SIM free price of a phone by getting it PAYG.

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Sony to bring Risk to the big screen

Bassey

At least

At least they didn't use the phrase "re-imagining".

@ Nial 1 : Genius, fella. Pure gold.

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'Something may come through' dimensional 'doors' at LHC

Bassey

Re: Valerion

"Seems to me that starting off another one of those in Switzerland could be considered A Bad Thing."

Why?

I'm not trying to be funny. Just wondering. Can't think of any reasons myself.

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Bassey

End of the world

Am I the only one not in the least bit bothered if the Universe turns into soup? I'll be dead. You'll be dead. Neither of us will be in a position to give a shit.

The end of the universe, by it's very nature, will be the least eventful event in the Universe' history as there will be no-one (alive) to see it.

It's utterly unimportant so please, carry on cleaning your compost bins with half lemons or whatever it is you lot do to relax.

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H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

Bassey
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Bah, humbug

Survival of the fittest. If the Rhino was so great it would have evolved to have a nose-mounted AK-47 rather than a useless Horn that people desperately want as trophies. If Perot just wants the hide, can I have the carcass? Hmmmm, rhino burgers!

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Net hasn't isolated Yanks - they've just misplaced their friends

Bassey

Interesting Phenomenen

Actually, this (kind of) reflects an interesting phenomenon I've noticed over the years. I grew up on a small Island (the IOM), then spent four years in the UK and now live back on the Island. I travel WAY more when I'm on the Island than when I lived in the UK. The same goes for a lot of people here. I also have family on Lewis who are constantly travelling. My immediate group of friends covers all walks of life. Housewives/Husbands, a road worker, school maintenance, teachers, police, accountants, bankers, butcher. The list goes on. And I regularly speak to friends (i.e. real, physical people I grew up with and have known for 20+ years) from all over the UK and much further afield.

Conversely, friends and family from the UK, Europe, US and Australia seem to go on holiday once or twice a year and that's about it. Rarely do they travel within their own country (unless they have a favourite "spot" - in which case, they visit it over and over). They commute to work but, once there, rarely travel more than a mile from the office other than to go home again. They wear a path to the shops and back and have a small number of favourite bars\restaurants. They'll boast "We have X cinemas here" but always go to the same one. Their network of friends are either from work or their partner's work (so they all do what they do for a living) and it all seems a bit dull.

It does seem, to my limited experience, that the larger the place you live, and the more facilities and entertainment and opportunities it offers, the less you travel outside your "comfort zone".

I also suspect the experience of people on here will differ considerably - but we're (generally) well paid, well educated types so mass-generalisations often don't apply.

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Memory maker to sell films on Flash

Bassey

Fantastic

This sounds brilliant. My Philips telly has a USB port as, obviously, do all the PC's. DVD's are a pain in the backside as they keep getting scratched (bloody kids) and I don't see the point in BluRay as it suffers all the same problems (scratching, slow start-ups). This sounds like the dream solution to me. Be interesting to see how the DRM is managed with regards personal backups.

I'm not a free-loading thief, like many around here, but I do object to copy protection systems that prevent me making a perfectly legal backup copy and force me to re-buy or find "other" sources when the kids have been playing Frisbee with Wall-e.

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You too can become a Taoist Mao Shan master

Bassey
Happy

Antichrist

Disgusted. How can a respectable publication like the Register bring itself to publish such filth? These images CLEARLY show real, graphic sex and, as such, surely fall foul of the extreme pron law? If it weren't for the fact that this website is populated, almost entirely, by sad, balding, middle aged men and that no child worth their mobile would be seen dead here I would be straight onto the ASA to complain in the strongest possible terms to their permanently deaf ear.

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Men allegedly broke into computers of former employer

Bassey

Priorities

Whilst I don't condone what these guys did, they basically took advantage of someone else's incompetence to gain an (unfair) competitive advantage. I.E. they broke a technical rule.

They face five years.

A UK footballer, just last week, was convicted of sexually assaulting a woman and then punching her to the floor. Punishment?

18 months

Something is screwy!

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The x-texting Metrotextual comes out of the closet

Bassey
Flame

Clinical arse-wipe

"the advent of mobile phones ... [means] ... men can more easily share their feelings with others - especially their male friends"

Can someone please point out to this retarded arse-wipe that putting an ASCII character at the end of an electronic message is not, in any way, shape or form, the same thing as sharing ones feelings?

In the global flood I suggest Clinical Physiologists would make excellent floatation devices!

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Volcanic African 'unzipping' could see continent divided

Bassey

Re: OPoor Coco

Thanks. That was what I thought, just wanting confirmation. Wasn't sure whether, when two land-masses collide, the upward "push" of land was enough to create an appreciable drop in global sea levels.

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Bassey

Question

When the new ocean-basin is created, will world-wide sea levels fall by an appreciable amount? Presumably, all that water has to come from somewhere to fill the new basin?

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T-Mobile Pulse

Bassey

SIM Locking

Anyone know if T-Mobile are SIM Locking their PAYG devices at the moment? Would love one of these, but no T-Mobile where I live.

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Irish brogue voted world's sexiest accent

Bassey

Depends where abouts in Ireland

I've worked with people from Cork where, after five years, I could still only make out every third word - usually "feck".

And what's an "English" accent? Brummy, scouse, geordie, cockerney, manky-union, norfolk, cornwall....

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Vonage drops off the net

Bassey

VoIP for price? Why?

Depends where you live. We aren't all in places served by competing Telecom companies. The wife is from Dublin. Our phone bill used to be £15+ per month, mostly due to expensive (long!) calls to her folks.. With our VOIP service it's under £2 a month. It also gives us completely free local calls that we just could not get from our local landline provider. The only other alternative would have been something like skype but that just isn't convenient.

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Belkin Powerline HD Gigabit mains Ethernet adaptor

Bassey

Re: Chris Miller

"Can someone explain the benefits of Gigabit Ethernet in the home?"

Yep. First off, wireless doesn't work in my house. Full stop. Tried it and something is killing it (I suspect the IT lecturer from the local college, who lives next door, is running some non-standard kit). And, whilst I would love to re-wire the house with cat-5, I love my wife and kids too much to suffer the divorce that would come with it.

So that is the homeplug bit sorted. Plug-in, switch on. Done.

Then, I have all my kids DVD's ripped to the home server (personal backup!). The kids destroy DVD's so it's far easier to rip them to storage and then either create copies or, better still, stream them to where it's needed. That same NAS has all mine and the wife's music and all our photos and takes backups of both our PC's. It's not common but all this could be happening at the same time (except for the backups. I'm not THAT stupid. They are scheduled for different times). Two DVD-quality video stream, two music streams and a backup requires a LOT of bandwidth (I'm amazed the server copes, actually).

Try doing that lot on a standard HomePlug connection which, generally speaking, tops out at around 9-10Mbps. And I'm hoping to go HiDef fairly soon - which will add to the bandwidth even more. Call me old-fashioned but I still work on the principle of working out the maximum load and then doubling to allow for headroom.

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Southwark council sues IBM

Bassey

Re: This may be why I am not a lawyer

In this case, it appears not quite so simple. The council don't claim it doesn't do what it is supposed to do. They claim it isn't fit for THEIR purpose. So it'll probably come down to whose responsibility it was to determine the requirements and whether or not the product met them.

I've written plenty of software that worked exactly as it was intended to do only to discover it doesn't meet the actual requirements - and for a hundred different reasons.

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Chronically ill people 'happier if they abandon hope', say docs

Bassey

Re: Kit-Fox

"doctors and so called medical 'professionals' ... are all a bunch of uneducated and misinformed idiots"

Part of me REALLY wants to hear you justify that claim. However, a larger part of me anticipates a long, drawn out story of bitterness and resentment and it's only Monday.

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Scientists flee Home Office after adviser sacking

Bassey

Big Balls Up

The problem here is nothing to do with "gagging" or any of that crap. If he's been gagged, how come he was on National Television news, openly criticising government policy? The problem was that he did so whilst being a government advisor - so he had to go.

The other huge balls-up was that the government wanted to raise the classification of cannabis. Rather than going about this the adult way and saying, right 2/3 of the country are against drugs, this is a political decision so we are going to go ahead, they asked a panel of experts. If you've already decided to do something (for entirely legitimate reasons) you are only shooting yourself in the foot if you then demand others create evidence to back it up. It was unnecessary and bound to backfire on them.

Still, I don't think he'll be too disappointed. He wasn't getting paid anyway and now all the papers are queuing up to pay him for his "Story".

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New Doctor Who is 'simply the best'

Bassey

simply the best

Well he's hardly likely to go around telling people the new guy is a big bag of shite and not worth watching, now is he?

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Comparison shopping sites not wicked after all, says Google

Bassey

Froogle

Wouldn't Google's own Froogle fall foul of these rules and be classed as a low quality site?

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Giant iPhones invade Florida

Bassey

Improvement

Hey, at last somebody has upgraded their iPhone to have user-replaceable batteries - albeit feck-off heavy ones dangling between your legs. Still, it's got to be an improvement!

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Brit robo-sub dives to 3.5 miles on seabed volcano quest

Bassey

Re: Colour scheme

It has nothing to do with the Beatles. You make subs yellow because they are easier to find when they break down. Unless, of course, it's a military sub, in which case you make it as difficult to spot as possible.

There is bugger-all point painting them blue or coral coloured. That's like all those dip-shits who go out walking in the hills wearing green and brown, have an accident, and then wonder why nobody can find them. It's because you went out wearing camouflage you morons!

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Google navigates Android to turn-by-turn directions

Bassey

Re: Early adopter

My understanding is that, as it is, the G1 does not have the space to install Android 2.0 in the boot ROM (about 70MB). However, there are clever folk out there who have boot managers that can take space from the storage, make it available to the boot drivers and then just "chop up" the OS into the two storage areas. Or, you could cut down Android 2 to fit in the 70MB available.

Either way, the G1 isn't really a great fit for 2.0 but, if you think it's worth a fair bit of effort, it's possible.

On the other hand, the G2/Hero now looks REALLY good value at around £300.

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Transparent OLEDs demoed

Bassey
Happy

It’s "unclear" if either firm has plans....

Nice one! :)

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DOJ widens anti-trust optical drive probe

Bassey

Weird

So we get investigations into the Browser market (browsers are free) and the DVD drive market (you can pick up a DVD player for about £15). I'm not suggesting there is nothing dodgy going on but it does seem like they want to be seen to be doing something rather than actually investigating markets that might help consumers.

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'New discipline' of 'Network Science' birthed by US Army

Bassey
Happy

BA (rse)

Will Dissertations be limited to 140 characters?

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El Reg receives message from planet 'Female Pigeon'

Bassey

Stupid names

"How about a solar system with planets called Tatooine, Alderaan, Dagobah and Naboo?"

What a ridiculous idea. How would my GPS StarNav know WHICH Tatooine I wanted to travel to? Your absurdly made up one or the real one on the fringes of the Galactic Empire?

The names are supposed to HELP, not hinder.

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Think you're tech savvy? You won't be when you're old

Bassey

Re: Dale 3

"Trick-cyclist" is a derogatory term for those hard working, brilliantly educated individuals known as psychiatrists, whose insights to the human psyche and, more importantly, ability to manipulate the mind and "cure" all sorts of debilitating illnesses makes them a highly regarded and productive part of modern society. Possibly up there with lawyers and politicians.

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Musos demand Guantanamo Bay playlist

Bassey

Sickening...

"The fact that music I helped create was used as a tactic against humanity sickens me"

Especially as he hasn't received his public performance royalties from them yet! Is Guantanamo even licensed to play recorded music?

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WTF is this country called America?

Bassey

To quote Mr Partridge

I think he may have been referring to Good Ole' Uncle US of Stateside.

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