Historical quibble

The Eckert-Mauchly Computer Corporation did not "later become Unisys". It first became Univac, which underwent various changes in name and ownership, finally merging with Burroughs in 1986 to form Unisys.

We must start from basics!

A good cup of tea is hot, aromatic, and free from the bitterness of tannins from over-steeped leaves. You can get this nectar even from quite cheap tea if you use the right technique, to wit, put the tea in a small conical sieve over the mouth of the tea pot and pour the boiling water through that. Tea is ready immediately; no need to steep. End of discussion.

One Million Moms? Hardly!

Joe Jervis regularly features the latest insanity from OMM on his gay-oriented blog, Joe. My. God. (findable via Google). I forget the exact figure, but someone checked Facebook and found that OMM had about forty thousand "likes". The suspicion is often voiced that OMM is just one person with a very dirty mind who sees filth everywhere.

Regular readers of El Reg are likely to get a kick out of Joe. My. God.'s regular features of homophobic nuts, if only for the comedy value. Particularly recommended is a dude who styles himself "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse and Co-prophet of the End Times."

Geoboffins? Good grief, Charlie Brown!

I can see a number of neologisms in the hatching: bioboffins, theoboffins, physioboffins, technoboffins, psychoboffins, socioboffins, anthropoboffins, ecoboffins, archaeoboffins.

http://www.morewords.com/most-common-ends-with/ology/

When will the madness stop?

The proposal overlooks a well-known fact

Naming and shaming will have no effect. Corporations and those who control them have no shame.

Sociopathy at the top

The root problem is that when they depart their homes to go to work, managers leave their humanity behind on the dresser. All they have to do is ask, would I treat my dearly beloved grandmother like this?

Of course the sociopaths would treat their grandmothers badly, which leads to the point that sociopaths are not fit to hold positions of any responsibility. Unfortunately, from all appearances, the upper levels of management in all corporate bodies are primarily sociopaths.

We are doomed.

Until the higher ups responsible lose their jobs, nothing will happen. The higher ups earn the big bucks; let them shoulder big responsibilities, even if they themselves didn't make the key mistake.

@ Dave the Cat:

Just say to your students "Now pay attention because if you don't, you WILL lost your job when you mess this up." Make sure all employees have been put on notice that certain types of email mistakes WILL result in immediate firing.

Paying through a third party

I.e. paying a bill through an ATM: here in BC, the statutes governing "agency" stipulate that a payment to an agent is considered as having been made to the principal immediately. Thus, if a bank tries to say "it takes X days for your payment to be passed on", the correct response is a reference to the law and a suggestion that they'd better get a less sluggish system installed.

Other jurisdictions may have similar provisions in force.

The right hand and the left hand

Here in British Columbia, we have a rather toothless law against cell phone use while driving.

But guess what? On the outskirts of Victoria, there are signs erected by the authorities on the freeway heading north, pointing drivers to a website, drivebc.ca, and to a toll-free telephone number for information on road conditions ahead.

These are clearly invitations to the driver to use his cellphone. The geniuses devoted to highway safety don't seem to realize that they are encouraging dangerous behavior.

In addition, though billboards are forbidden along BC highways (except on Indian reserves), the Dear Government has polluted the roadside with endless dorky little signs pointing to "tourist attractions" and similar detritus that doesn't offer drivers any real information to help them. No one seems to think about the distractions these may cause, entirely aside from the ugly blight they are on the scene. I blame it on quasi-marketers in the tourism ministry who have quite childish ideas about what actually enhances the tourists' experience.

Meanwhile, many roadside rest stops have been closed, along with the toilets at them, leaving weak-bladdered drivers no option but to piss by the side of the road. Some tourist experience! "I visited BC and I couldn't pee"

Neologistic overload

The author has used up El Reg's lifetime supply of the word "astro-boffin" and its derivatives.

"Chemicals"

Generally speaking the word "chemical" is reserved for compounds, usually molecular in nature.

It's *elements* that are synthesized in stars, but only up to atomic number 56, iron. Heavier elements are synthesized only in supernovas.

Indeed, "chemical" is a weasel word in this case. "Atoms" would be more suitable and more precise.

Get your nomenclature right, Mr. Chirgwin.

On saving money by moving everything to the internet

Decades ago, a professional librarian and I were discussing the ins and outs of computerizing libraries, for example their card catalogs. She reported that at a convention she'd attended, the point was made that computerization was no cheaper than doing things the Old Way. Its advantage was that it was much faster.

I suspect the same is true of any government IT initiative, even today. If anyone says it's cheaper, they're either lying or grossly misinformed. Far too many government IT projects seem to be pie in the sky, swallowed holus bolus by brain dead pols with stars in their eyes.

Advertising: an enormous con

It amuses me endlessly to see the lengths to which marketers will go in pursuit of maybe, just possibly, once in a very long while, a sale by one of those using their services to advertise.

Only speaking for myself, but I use adblock so I see few ads, and those I do see I pay no attention to.

The con is really that marketers claim that targeted ads improve sales. That's not true. Today I may be interested in ginormous nipple rings, tomorrow in an antiquated book on Latin grammar, and the day after in Dog only knows what.

Or to use a more prosaic example, suppose I'm looking for underwear. I have a very clear idea what I want, I know exactly which brand and model will fill the bill, and any adverts to the contrary are just so much wasted effort. What *will* influence me are the web pages that give full, objective information and are clear about sizing, fabric, country of origin, colors, styles, price, and availability. But once I've bought my gaunch, that's it. Throwing more ads at me does nothing, because I have enough rags to shelter my ever lovin' bod from the lust-filled gaze of onlookers, and need no more.

Then there's ebay: in my pursuit of the perfect undies, I found the brand and model, and set up a moderately complex search string to find ebay listings for those and no others. Ebay then, in its blind pursuit of money, altered their search facility so it returned not just what I was looking for, but all sorts of other brands and models, I s'pose with the subliminal message "Maybe these are what you really want?" An intelligent company would have recognized that the more specific a search, the less likely it is that the searcher has interest in other things, particularly when the search string takes steps to exclude other makes and models.

As ebay, so marketing in general: they think their ads actually work, but it's highly questionable whether they do anything other than annoy netizens.

Tax law is too complex

Socialists, do-gooders, labourites nu and ol', nanny-staters, and bolsheviks all fail to realize that the tax system is too important to be abused in the pursuit of airy-fairy social goals.

When tax law reaches a certain level of complexity, no one can understand it, no one can figure out what tax they owe or refunds they are owed, and the whole operation starts to list to one side under the load. Moreover, with complexity comes a distinct risk of internal contradictions, in which case it's impossible to make sense of the law. Thus law abiding citizens are actively blocked from fulfilling one of their primary duties: to pay tax.

A further difficulty: when social goals are pursued via a tax system rife with various exemptions and such, it can become extremely difficult to determine the cost of such pursuit.

Far better: keep tax law as simple as humanly possible, and if social goals are desirable, issue payments that show up on the government's balance sheet.

Prolapsus ani

From what I've seen in certain porn flicks, name and nature not divulged here as El Reg is a family news outlet and Le Modérateur Divine might exercise his guillotine powers , gentlemen who after great effort have attained this anatomical anomaly (aka "a rosebud") rather enjoy their acquisition. And are happy to protrude it for the admiration of like-minded compatriots.

Are huge failed IT projects a Labour specialty?

Or did previous governments mess up equally badly, equally as often?

It wouldn't surprise me to be told that Labour was particularly bad about this. They seem to have had a penchant for putting unqualified incompetents behind important desks. Sometimes I wonder if this was because all potential new hires were subjected to ideological vetting and their mastery of Marxist-Leninist dialectic was viewed as far more important than actually understanding the job and being able to do it.

It hardly matters

The Times and the NYT used to be newspapers of record, but not anymore, not since they decided to chase readership figures instead of simply reporting the news. You could tell the Times was going downhill once Murdoch took over by watching the ever increasing amount of nooze about "celebrities" - which simply isn't news at all. It's mostly slightly rehashed press releases from publicists. And of what earthly significance are the latest shenanigans of Britney Spears, that Palin girl, Paris Hilton, or any of the rest of that gang?

And the NYT, in its pursuit of the next big blockbuster story, has lowered its standards to the point that outright hoaxes cooked up by young reporters and interns slip through and into print.

If I'm going to read a crappy newspaper, I might as well read the Daily Mail. Or Pravda.

"Our brightest and best businessmen"

ITYM "our most sociopathic businessmen"

It's my opinion that the socio- and psychopaths have commandeered executive suites everywhere, and now that they're in control, they make sure that others of their ilk are the only ones allowed the luxury of a paneled office.

The only solution is to fire the lot, and hire their replacements from among the folks standing outside the building waiting for a bus. Like a blue light special at K-Mart, not quite as good quality, but much, much cheaper.

I'm sure that 99.9% of executives would, if asked "but what about your fiduciary duties?" would piss themselves laughing at such naiveté.

The Greeks had a word for it

And so do the lawyers: estoppel.

It's a legal doctrine that you can't today argue "X" in court, then turn around and argue "not X" tomorrow.

A canny lawyer might be able to make MS quite miserable over this, or so it seems to me.

Canada

IIRC (and I may be mistaken), random drug tests of employees are illegal in Canada because the drug consumption may have occurred out of work hours, and what someone does outside of work is no business of the employer. Or to put it another way, an employer's mandate doesn't include enforcing laws in general. That's the coppers' job.

Moreover since marijuana is the most common drug tested for and medical marijuana is quasi-legal in Canada, puffing on a reefer after work may be nothing more than taking your medicine.

By analogy, it is none of the school board's business what this kid did outside school, and they may very well be abridging his right to freedom of speech. I'd love to see a law suit that takes the school board to the cleaners, *and* a complaint to the relevant Human Rights Commission to really tie them in knots. It would add piquancy if the suit was not only against the school board, but against the individuals on it personally.

If the school board has any gumption, the persons who instituted, aided, and abetted this nonsense will be moved to positions where they have no input whatsoever into student discipline.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.

"World class"

The presence of that phrase in the bumf emitted by some faceless bureaucrat marks it indelibly as nothing more than gaseous PR-speak, meaning nothing at all.

Anything that bills itself as "world class" is de facto not world class. That is a well-known fact.

Training vs education

In every discussion of education that I've read, there's no distinction made between training and education sensu strictu. You can train a monkey, but you can't educate him.

Learning to touch type is a form of training. Learning that in Algol, statements end with semicolon is training. But learning that sometimes a bubble sort is appropriate, but other times a QuickSort, is education.

Learning to wear underpants is training. Becoming familiar with the Classics is education because of the general lessons to be drawn from them.

Learning to "do typography" in Wurd is training, but internalizing Bringhurst's "The Elements of Typographic Style" is education.

Learning to spell is training (for the most part). Learning to write coherent prose is education.

Bringing the justice system into disrepute

Between important government offices being in the pockets of Big Business and the cops clearly pursuing an agenda contrary to the citizenry's best interests, I'd say British system of justice has utterly broken down.

The only solution, it appears to me, is to fire all the bureaucrats responsible for these insane decisions, and to purge the country's police forces of the bad apples. Sadly, the bad apples among the cops appear to outnumber the sound ones, and have an undue proportion of the higher level positions.

Is it any wonder that protests in the UK often turn into riots whipped into a frenzy by anarchists?

Some politicians need to read about the famous Gordon Riots for an example of what Britons can get up to if you push them hard enough.

Amusement LLC

I ran the latest such scam emails through Google's English to Welsh translator and came up with:

Fy enw i yw Mr John Bestman, rwy'n gweithio gyda banc ag enw da, lle yr wyf yn rheoli

cyfrifon cleientiaid preifat, fel mater o ffaith, yr wyf wedi bod yn gyfrifol am ddyletswydd hon am 12 mlynedd bellach. Darllen garedig atodiad isod neges am llawn

manylion. Ddiolch

and

Cyfarch o Al-Salim Bin Ahamad

Garedig dderbyn fy ymddiheuriad am anfon e-bost na ofynnwyd amdanynt i chi, yr wyf yn credu ydych yn berson gosod uchel o ystyried y ffaith fy mod yn cael eich proffil o gronfa ddata adnoddau dynol yn eich gwlad. Er, nid wyf yn gwybod i ba raddau yr ydych yn gyfarwydd â'r hyn yr wyf am dweud wrthych, i ofyn i chi ei drin yn ddifrifol. Ond fi angen i chi mi ystyried galonnog llawn cymaint ag i farw o ganser. Yr wyf yn ysgrifennu e-bost hwn i chi gyda trwm dagrau yn fy llygaid a gofid mawr yn fy galon. Yr wyf yn Ddinesydd Malaysian weithio yma mewn Kuwait fel olew crai gwerthwr am nifer o flynyddoedd bellach. Nes fy ymddeoliad diweddar yn dilyn fy gyngor meddyg i mi er mwyn osgoi unrhyw fath o straen oherwydd fy sy'n dod o iechyd.

Byddaf yn hoffi i chi weithio gyda mi fel partner i fuddsoddi fy arian yn eich

wlad, os ydych yn cytuno ydym bydd y ddau yn rhannu'r cyfanswm elw blynyddol.

Yr wyf yn disgwyl eich ymateb am ragor o wybodaeth

Aros Bendithia,

Bin Salim Al-Ahamad.

E-bost: al.salimbin.ahamad @ hotmail.my

To my surprise, Google translate even includes Georgian, yielding:

მისალმებები ალ-salim ბინ Ahamad

Kindly მიიღოს ჩემი საბოდიშო გაგზავნის გამოცხადების გარეშე ელ თქვენ, მე მჯერა, თქვენ ხართ მაღალი მოთავსებული პირის გავითვალისწინებთ იმ ფაქტს, რომ მივიღე თქვენი პროფაილი საწყისი ადამიანური რესურსების მონაცემთა ბაზის თქვენს ქვეყანაში. თუმცა, არ ვიცი რამდენად ხართ იცნობს რა ვარ შესახებ გეუბნებოდით, მე ვითხოვე, თქვენ მკურნალობა და სერიოზულობა. მაგრამ მინდა განიხილოს მომაწოდა ბევრად სრული heartily მე მოვკვდები, სიმსივნით. მე წერა ეს წერილი თქვენ მძიმე ცრემლი ჩემს თვალებს და დიდი მწუხარება ჩემი გული. მე მალაიზიის მოქალაქე მუშაობა ქუვეითში როგორც ნედლი ნავთობის დილერი მრავალი წელია. სანამ ჩემი ბოლოდროინდელი საპენსიო შემდეგ ჩემი ექიმის რჩევა ჩემთვის, რათა თავიდან ავიცილოთ რაიმე სახის სტრესის გამო ჩემი დაცემით ჯანმრთელობას. მე მომწონს თქვენი მუშაობა ჩემთვის, როგორც პარტნიორი ინვესტირებას ჩემი ფონდების თქვენს ქვეყანა, თუ თქვენ ეთანხმებით, ჩვენ უნდა ორივე წილი მთლიანი წლიური მოგება. მე დაელოდება თქვენს პასუხს დამატებითი ინფორმაცია კვლავ დალოცოს,

Al-salim ბინ Ahamad.

ელფოსტა: al.salimbin.ahamad @ hotmail.my

and Armenian:

Ողջունելով ից Al-Սալիմ Բեն Ahamad

Բարյացակամորեն ընդունեք իմ ներողությունը ուղարկելու համար անցանկալի էլեկտրոնային փոստով ձեզ, ես հավատում եք բարձր տեղադրված անձը հաշվի առնելով այն հանգամանքը, որ ստացա ձեր Անձնագրի ից մարդկային ռեսուրսների բազան Ձեր երկրում. Թեեւ, ես չգիտեմ, թե որքանով եք ծանոթ, թե ինչ եմ մոտ պատմում դուք, Ես խնդրում եք վերաբերվում այն լրջությունը. Բայց ես ուզում եմ ձեզ համարում ինձ շատ լրիվ սրտանց ինչպես ես մեռնեմ հետ քաղցկեղ. Ես եմ գրելու այս նամակը ձեզ հետ, ծանր արցունքն իմ աչքերից, եւ մեծ վիշտ իմ հոգում. Ես Malaysian քաղաքացու այստեղ աշխատելով Քուվեյթում, որպես հում նավթի ստանալու համար երկար տարիներ հիմա. Մինչեւ իմ վերջին կենսաթոշակային հետեւյալ իմ բժշկի խորհուրդը ինձ համար խուսափել ցանկացած ձեւով ընդգծում, քանի որ իմ նվազում Առողջապահության. Ես կցանկանայի ձեզ հետ աշխատելու համար ինձ, որպես գործընկեր ներդնել իմ իջոցների ձեր երկիր, եթե Դուք համաձայնում եք, մենք պետք է երկուսն էլ կիսում են ընդհանուր տարեկա շահույթը. Ես սպասում են ձեր պատասխանը: Լրացուցիչ տեղեկությունների համար

Մնում `օրհնելու,

Al-Սալիմ Բեն Ahamad.

Email: al.salimbin.ahamad @ hotmail.my

The plot, she thickens....

A amusing side issue

Suppose, just suppose, that in an attempt to purify the minds of decadent, sex-obsessed, and kiddy-diddling Britons, HM Gov issues a ukase to the effect that depictions of illegal acts are themselves illegal. Hence, kiddy porn (well, a lot of it, I would guess) is made illegal on objective grounds, but pictures that merely excite and disgust the Jacquis of the world aren't. All good, no?

Ah, but what about Hollywood films filled with depictions of illegal violence?

I rest my case.

@ Thad 14th February 2011 13:33 GMT

"They care"

"They care very much about standards. *Their* standards."

I'm sure I've read that Windows source code is so extensive that it contains millions of lines that no one now at Microsoft knows the function of. And wasn't there a legal proceeding some years ago where the learned judge directed that MS provide documentation of some file format or other - and MS couldn't do it because, just like Windows source code, the file format contained undocumented elements?

To put it another way, MS doesn't have standards and doesn't understand standards. They think that standards are just suggestions that developers (and professional liars aka marketers) can freely vary from for any or no reason.

@ AC 18th January 2011 12:38 GMT

You don't understand. There is no law specifying this offense. It's a common-law offense, not a statutory offense.

Something not often appreciated is that most "law" is not statutory, but is common law, derived from judicial precedents over the centuries.

Also note that the three offenses mentioned, mis-, mal-, and non-feasance in public office, are all things which everyone would agree should be against the law. That's the beauty of the common law system: it works without the need for gas bags, do-gooders, and ideologists in Parliament being involved.

"Dry reds"

No way. Other reports indicate that the wine produced with thick, syrupy, and very sweet.

PS for Paul Johnston: In fact, all those Caucasian peoples share a common culture. They differ in religion and language (especially language) but food, music, dress, dance, and many other basic cultural practices are pretty much the same throughout the region.

Georgians, Armenians, Abkhaz, Chechens, Ingush, Ossetes, Bats, you name it.

Upshot: it's irrelevant to say this or that group originated such-and-such cultural practice. Almost unquestionably vinting arose in the Caucasus, but at this late date it's impossible to say that it was by one ethnic group or another. In fact, our modern designations of Caucasian peoples can't be said to apply to the inhabitants 6000 years ago.

"Immediate steps"

When the problem is due to deeply embedded causes, you ain't gonna fix it any time soon, and most definitely not "immediately." The govt depts' concern isn't for the harm they've caused this woman, or anyone else. It's simple annoyance at their carelessness being exposed to public scrutiny.

Without knowing a thing about the details, it's still easy to guess some of the systemic contributing factors:

1. Managers with authority but no (or little, or obsolete) technical expertise making decisions they are unqualified to make.

2. Outsourcing development instead of developing in-house.

3. Hiring poorly paid, inept code monkeys instead of facing the fact that truly competent IT people are in very short supply and if you want good ones (not necessarily "the best') you have to pay for them. No such thing as bargain basement experts.

4. The MBA mentality that views employees as fungible assets, all interchangeable cogs, instead of recognizing that every employee has a unique combination of smarts, education, experience, and overall competency. No, dears, that secretary over there is NOT qualified to carry out that statistical analysis you want, even if she has a vague idea what a spreadsheet is.

5. Deadwood in the upper ranks of management who yearn for the days when they had paper records, preferably maintained by hand in blue-black ink with fountain pens.

6. Blairite fascination with big projects, instead of the little dull boring unexciting ones that actually do the hard work.