Advent by any chance?

If my other half's laptop is anything to go by, I'd put £100 on an Advent...

"a lot of people contacted us"

Dear Mozilla,

Please stop my hidden pr0n stash from showing up in the new location bar. I recommend excluding anything with "lego" in the description.

Yours sincerely

If-you-can't-remember-the-address-of-your-favourite-pr0n-site-you-don't-deserve-Firefox-3-Firefox 2 user

Ha ha ha

Very good Reg, very good.

IE Vulnerabilites?

"we identified an incompatibility with Internet Explorer that caused a security flaw with photo uploads"

Of course, what they forget to mention is the fact Firefox, Opera, Chrome etc. etc. are compatible and don't cause a security flaw.

How long?

How long until we have a system with two keys? A real one and the one you tell No. 10 - which decodes as "Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man"?

Sack the lot of them

"This story is rubbish"

Because that's a qualified reply from an expert government official.

What a shame...

"You can see the video below."

No I can't. Damn. Double Damn.

Norton

"in many cases seeing the whole machine shutting down"

That'll be Norton then.

Wow

That's actually a good idea in a world where gimmicks seem to be dominating the world of digital cameras.

Fail

"Microsoft ultra-thins to 'out cool' netbooks, Apple"

And fails.

Eh?

"will only appear on the MSN service, which is streamed via Flash"

Wtf? Has Silverlight died already?

Whatever next...

First Bing, now Courgette, whatever will they think up next... Windows 8?

Which browsers?

"The five browsers offered will be determined by averaging monthly use-share date for the past six months."

What, for http://update.microsoft.com?

Cash strapped

Another cost-saving measure from a cash strapped government.

April Fools

"users out there who’ve been waiting for an excuse to switch to Yahoo!"

Thats's a good one. Deserves to be in a christmas cracker.

Pink Ponies

"ponying up to Microsoft for something that actually works"

Since when has ponying up to Microsoft produced something that actually works? Paying up to Microsoft doesn't even produce something that actually works.

Slowdown

"by tricking a browser into allocating huge chunks of memory"

You mean trying to use ITV's TV Guide?

Great!

So you can live forever in a bubble.

Harder?

"Look forward to walking your relatives through that process in the future."

I would imagine it would be easier than the current methods provided by Microsoft.

Techies

"It took the Government techies so much time to realize that the email system of the most powerful man in India was not working properly for 3 months!"

3 months? It takes me 7 months to read my email on outlook.

NSFW?

It's the most SFW article I've read on El Reg. It's a got flow chart. How much more FW can you get?!

Pairs because she's always hard work...

Re: 600MB/s pah ... rubbish

OMG geeks. Oh wait they used Windows.

On the take?

"But the Bish didn’t stop there, because he also suggested that followers avoid videogames, iPhones and social networking sites during the season."

Do we assume from the lack of G1 on that list he's on the take from Google or T-Mobile?

Paris because she's normally too busy to text...

Contradiction in terms

"The only time I subject myself to that channel is for TV Burp and Saturday Night Takeaway. The rest is piffle."

Paris, because her show is the perfect example of the utter dross on ITV these days along with TV Burp and Saturday Night Takeaway.

Re: Yet another example...

"Wankers."

Well said that man.

Whatever

"The company's been slowly upping the ante on expectations"

Yeah, because they've never done that before.

I'll leave now...

"Women, in particular, were more likely to opt for a smaller screened, more mobile device, he claimed"

Presumably because it can fit in their handbags..?

Mines the one without the handbag on the hook.

Looks

Looks great in the first picture, looks like a 5-year-olds look-at-me-i've-got-a-laptop-and-it-reads-me-stories-and-makes-funny-noises-laptop from the side.

Why can't anyone beside Apple make a laptop look half decent.

Not beautiful, not sexy, I don't want curves or sticky out bits, I just want it to look good.

Debt collectors

If British Gas actually bothered to chase up their debtors themselves instead of out-sourcing then this lack of communication wouldn't have cost them an undisclosed amount.

Wish I hadn't thrown out that "you owe us money" letter dated two years previous....

Pubcenter

Pubcenter? I Like the sound of that. Could Microsoft have actually thought of something useful?

Confused

Does any get the impression that the left hand doesn't know what the right hands doing?