Posts by The Fuzzy Wotnot

Confused!?

"wrongly branded criminals due to mistakes on their criminal records" .

Surely if you have criminal record, you have committed a crime, no? Is this yet another wonderful cock-up in naming?

Love this sort of thing!

Companies crowing about "Come and live the 21st Century Dream! You can have the world at your finger tips, unlimited access to media anywhere, anytime!"

( Ooops sorry, our ad people put that in there sell the damn thing, you can't really it's just a phone/mp3 player/PC. No we never spoke to the comms people running the show, we knew wouldn't agree with us and anyway once you've bought the product you're locked in! )

What's the problem?

These are government people, they wouldn't harm us or our children. The government screening programs are safe and never let anyone unsavoury into a position of trust with vunerable youngsters in society.

"Go back to sleep Britain. Go back to your TVs and beer, grow fat and stupid. You are safe. Your government is in charge."

A full PDF will surface from somewhere.

Enough people hate the SC scumbags, it will come. With no previous interest, I for one will gladly print it, read it and leave it somewhere public for someone else to read, hopefully someone who is not a pathetic brain-washed moron, but someone who can still make their own mind up!

Why bother?

Sorry to bring it down but would any alien creature in their right mind, want anything to do with us and our buggered up, little planet? Hmmm, let's just get it over with and send this: "Come to Earth! We've got creatures obsessed by little bits of paper and shallow entertainment like Big Brother, X-Factor and Elton John! For more information tune in anytime on an Earth radio and TV source near you!".

Oh yes....

I know the language is supposed to adapt, but when you've had 12 years of some nutcase shouting at you to get it right, it's hard to change overnight.

Their, they're and there are very annoying, as are its and it's and of course your and you're, but there are two major language corruptions, that I simply cannot stand.

1. It's not, "He GOES to me, ' This and that.'.". It's "He SAID to me, 'This and that.'.".

2. It's not, "I'm like, 'No way!'". It's, "I said, 'No way!'.".

I only passed English at GCSE level, so I am certainly no expert!

Shipped Crimble 2009....

...usable by Crimble 2010!

Sorry....

...but did anyone else read David Greenburg's family gunshop statement, with a severe redneck. hillbilly accent or was it just me?

As the GLC says "Guns don't kill people, rappers do!".

Road tolls, maybe

Don't have a problem with road tolls, with gates like they do out in Europe, you get a ticket when you get on and you pay to get off, nice and easy, motorway's only, not a problem.

Sorry, but I'm buggered if you going fit a tracking gadget to my car, Lord know what nefarious use it will be put to in future, give 'em an inch and all that!

Get stuffed Gordon!

Nail 'em up!

I have suffered two near misses, ( always an strange phrase, near hits surely? ) from selfish planks on phones who think the law doesn't apply to them! Just pulling out of side roads and not looking, too busy gassing about some pointless cack no doubt!

@Wayland Sothcott

Exactly! Reclaim the flag of "freedom from oppression", from the software and music ripper-offers! Claim back our right to free-thought from the repressive religious zealots, just like the free sea-faring Captains of old!

You know exactly what's going on in those tiny government brains. Minister/Senator ABC gets a PC, has kids so tech friend advises he install a piece of "nanny" software, just to be sure nothing gets through. Brain-dead minister has great idea, supposing you could simply nail the nasty stuff at source, surely can't be difficult, I mean it works on one PC, so simply shove the internet through a load of PC's with this software on them! Everyone feels safer, I secure the religious and family vote, I look like a hero and I leave a safe and lasting legacy for future generations!

Fairly obvious really isn't it?

Look at the cost of keeping a gaming PC set up going. New components out every 3-4 months, latest tech stuff is always the same price as last version, ie very high!

Buy Console game. You buy, you play. 18-24 months, you sell on ebay, you buy the next one, the cycle continues. You buy game X for console Y, you know it's going work, no question.

Buy PC game

a) spent 25 mins checking the specs and your kit,

b) downloading 1GB of patches for new PC game after it crashes on certain hardware combos

c) wait 30 mins to install after i)DRM checks ii) it copies 8GB of code to PC disk.

d) Realise it doesn't really work that well as the specs on the box were a little off what was really required.

Nice

It's great to read a story from people like this. The history books will have XYZ did such and such with his one or two supporters, but at the end of the day it's hard working grass-roots people that make history, without them movements can't happen.

Thanks for the peek into a how the elections work.

Would have been nice

However every nutter with a death-wish is going to be trying to blow himself up with £500 worth of shiny whizz-bangs from ASDA, so the likelihood of being able to see anything on the 5th is minimal!

Oh come on!

MS may put on a show and say "Oh no, please don't!", but quietly in the background they know they need to keep the PR machine motoring along until the final release, get the Vista debacle papered over.

Every beta copy of W7 that is downloaded is one less Ubuntu/Fedora/CentOS/whatever, that is not being downloaded.

Now wouldn't for a minute suggest that MS sort of accidentally let this happen, they're not the sort are they!

Ermmmm

"They will begin to seal of his flat and workplace." Shouldn't hey have done that already given that he went into hospital last Wednesday?!

Hmmmm

For someone so outraged, Miss Ballie seems to be doing rather well out of all this? Top of all search engines, selling story to the papers, pictures of her in her pants all over the gutter press.

Oh heavens, hardly difficult is it!

Moggy Brain Rules Draft 1

( If it's anything like the fat lazy item living in my house, that purports to be a cat! )

1. Anyone about? No, then sleep otherwise keep rubbing against owner until food/petting is given.

2. If food is not forthcoming within 10 mins of meowing and rubbing, fart loudly and very smelly, start licking genitals in full view of everyone, until they give in.

3. Every 7 days, kill something small and defenceless and leave it in its death throws on the kitchen mat.

4 Every 6 months, pickup nasty flea infection, but don't notify owner until owner has been scratching for 2 days. Ensure owner panics and has to clean house from top to bottom ( that'll teach them to delay the food/petting! )

@Les Matthew

Russell Brand: A useless waste of air, less useful than Paris Hilton's sense of modesty.

So to sum it up...

...in a nutshell, so to speak, these non-existent terrorists have basically won then?

You can't go out in public and make a reasonable protest, you might be one.

You can't take photographs of anything, unless it's 25 miles from the nearest building, you might be one.

You want to buy a phone and you don't have a UK passport? You might be one!

You don't want more CCTV, why ever not? You are obviously one!

You don't agree with the uber-database for capturing all UK citizens communications? Hmm, tick in this little box here.

You want to download information about various political groups around the world for your studies at a registered educational establishment? Oh dear me, not doing well are we?

You don't want ID cards? You must be one, only a raving revolutionary with a Citizen Smith complex wouldn't want an ID card to prove their identity!

Oh while we're at it, you can't go near schools in case you're a paedo, no good saying your kids are in attendance, you were waiting outside the gate with other suspicious, so called "parents"!

Is it a scam?

Is it a scam, the guy's eBay account is getting lots of attention now, seems very fishy to me that no one has tried this before. The seller and buyer are in cahoots to they can both get some publicity!

I have no problems with speed cameras

Why is everyone against them? What's the problem? The law is 30mph here, 40 mph there and whatevrr MPH over there. THE SPEED LIMIT IS THE LAW! It's not a question of rights or slightly iffy stance like photocopying a page out of library book, it's a the law! I'm a driver, been caught nearly 3 times, nothing yet ( touch wood ). I do 85mph down the M25 like everyone else, so I'm not saying this as a sanctimonious squeaky clean peddle-pusher. As a free thinking adult, I know the risks of breaking the law, if I get caught I don't have a leg to stand on, entirely my fault!

I do object to them being everywhere at every turn, that really is money making for it's own sake. but the principle still stands, they uphold the law.

( Bring on the flames! )

Yeah make it free...that'll work!

Didn't they do that with buses and every little rat-boy udner 13 with a knife to grind and a spray can to paint with, started causing grief 'cos it was better to be on the buses than sat in a drafty shelter, when they had nowhere else to go! Let's not even start with the dossers getting high on White Lightning and looking for a nice cosy place to kip for the day!

Mobile phone? I have a 5 year old SonyEricson that works perfect thanks, I do not want to have to shell 150 quid for some amazing techno gadget with some much cack on it that it it goes flat after 25 mins 'cos I couldn't find the sodding off button, just so I can ride the transport system!

Most trains companies are still using paper tickets, I have a "paper" gold card with underground access on it, the train companies were supposed to upgrade to something like Oyster about 18 months ago. never happend. Now TfL are signing off Oyster, looks like we'll have to wait another 5 years for the train companies to decide what they want to do about getting rid of "paper" travelcards!

</Daily Mail mode>

So what if they do?

It's their site, it's not a bloody social community or some Facebook clone!

Look at the mess that Spore caused, 20,000 geeks high on their own self-worth, writing clever one word reviews like:

"Spore suxxors cus it got SecRom sheet! I int bying man! This suxxors!"

Well with wonderfully astute comments like that filling the reviews section, hardly surprising that Amazon feel need to come down a little more heavy handed. At the end of the day it's a business and it's their business so they can do what they like. Don't like it? Then go to another online retailer or pay twice the price on the high street!

Will it work though?

It's all about whom or what got there first!

What do people in the UK call their vacuum cleaners? Yep, it's the first company who managed to make it big. You don't say get the vacuum cleaner out, you shout "Grab the Hoover!".

So by that token when your average Joe talks about a website he thinks "www" and ".com" on the end, with whatever brand is in between. The number of arguments that have come about when I have asked my old man to go to site X only to find that he has automatically assumed WWW.xyz.COM.

No one will remember www.overpriced.tat.market or useless.IT.news.site, will they?

Load of old tosh!

So there's Abdul Ben-Psycho al-NutJob, down at the local Phones4U shop.

"So Mr Nutjob, got your passport, photo's a little old not really like you, but nevermind, not my place to say anything. Just need a few details for the paperwork. Occupation?"

"International arms dealer and radical terrorist sympathiser. Fighting a holy cause in the land of infidels."

"Hmm, can't see a box for that one sir. Tell you what, I'll just put 'between jobs' eh?"

"Right. Address?"

"I have no permanent address. I am free spirit, righteous in my cause and with God on my side!"

"Okay...I'll just put no fixed abode. How will you pay for this?"

"American Express?"

"That'll do nicely sir!"

@The Avangelist - Well said!

Damn straight! Running it under boot camp on a Mac ( oh the humanity! ). Nothing wrong with Vista, happily does everything I want in a Windows O/S. I also run OSX and Linux on my Mac so no I am not in bed with any one particular brand. Before you start the only reason for using a Mac hardware is the energy saving and the peace and quiet you get when you are not running normal PC kit with the deafening sound of 95db of fans running constantly!

I can just imagine it now...

'Well "beep"-damn you "Mellon-farmers"! I don't want any "funking" trouble with this software or the "bits" going to really the fan. Are you listening to me, you "money-framers"? '

It will certainly be a laugh testing it out on your favourite Indian sponsered call-centre staffer, available from your favourite energy supplier.

@twelvebore

Exactly! Been saying it for ages, "da web" was designed for adults, by adults with adult content. Same as the real world. In the real world we have safe playgrounds, where we know our kids are safe, the internet has providers like AOL who will do the same. If you don't like it, then by all means feel free to complain to who is displaying it, but don't expect miracles.

I have been using it for donkey's, since 1992, only when I have gone looking for slightly iffy gear, have I come across anything dodgy. I use safe secure email addresses, get about 2 spam emails a week, haven't caught a virus or spyware for over 2 years, since I started using Linux and putting plenty of AV software on the WIn boxes. It's not hard, it's called understanding your interests and making an effort to do things correctly, a practice that seems to have fallen out of favour in our "everything in manageable chunks and at 90mph" society.

The internet just like the real world, has god places and some terrible places, wise-up or get off!

Government + IT Security = Joke

Sorry Mr Hoon, but just 'cos you understand the concept of an inbox and your browser history, this is many, many times the order of magnitude more complex. The government have proved time and again, they simply cannot be trusted to look after our data and not leave it open to abuse.

For flips sake, some local council setup CCTV and 12 months later two operatives were up in court for spying on naked women in their homes. I have lost count of the number of government departments that have let some muppet "borrow" data on a laptop/usb key and then lost the bloody thing on a train or in a cab, leaving kids at risk from pervs and service personnel at risk from terrorists.

Sorry Hoon, but the first thing the terrorists will do, when this thing goes live is pay some script kiddie to get them access, let's face it if EDS build it the security will be laughable or they will find a way to get someone into a position to extract data from secure terminals.

Pre-loaded with what?

Hmmm, I'm sure they cater for us niche music lovers? Can't wait for them to release the Gorguts Hits or the Best of Onslaught and Desecration compilations!

So why is this supposedly better than my knackered old 80GB Archos which I can load with vids, music even data files straight from any device that can read/write FAT32 over a USB socket?

That frightening sound!

There you are sitting in your cubicle, reading the Metro or whatever you found, then there is the "sounds". The flush. The cubicle door unlock and open. The toilet door open and close in a flash.

There was obviously no time for the offender to wash his cacky mitts. So now you come out, you wash, then you know that Mr Cacky-Mitts has just has his hands around his bits and touched the inside door handle. Of course were else has "Cacky-Mitt Man" been touching stuff? Most likely went straight out, then round to the kitchen/canteen and started making tea or cooking up a lunchtime snack in the microwave!!! Arghhhh!

I'm not one of these paranoid bug types, but a little common decency and manners just so I don't have to spend the next week in bed with some vile guts-ache or the flu, just 'cos you couldn't be bothered to spend 90 secs washing your dirty mitts!

@Steve Hunter - damn right!

Been advising people to install FB immediately after installing FF, for ages. It's by far the best plugin ever, not only saves on bandwidth, by stopping all those stupid Flash ads but also sops crap like this and allows you to choose if you want to run the flash in question, then the owness is on you to action the start of the Flash. FB should be built into FF by Mozilla!

Bottom dwelling scum!

All doing exactly what's expected of them, turning on each other when they think one of the other scumbags has a foot in the door.

All these "habit-tracker" scum companies want to be first in the door just like their hero Kunt, let's face it is basically going to roll out his nasty little spyware through BT, now he practically has a green light to do it. Millions of customers and only a very tiny percentage of the "geek" crowd know or care. I know fellow IT people who panic at the first mention of spyware but don't seem fussed by insidious organisations like this getting in under the radar. Apathy will kill the internet and personal freedom, sad days indeed....

I'm still annoyed over JSW!

My copy of Jet Set Willy for the ZX Spectrum still has that silly colour grid thingy, I don't have a copy of the grid completed in felt-tips at break time! I suppose at least it doesn't have Lens-Lok like my copy of Elite!

Alright silly examples, but just think if for some bizarre reason you still wish to play Spore in 30 years time, will you be able to? You will if you have the crack EXE/patch from your friendly neighbourhood torrent site!

@Martin

More to the point Martin, are there no original ideas left in the world? I know there is the old adage "There are only 7 plots in the world, all films are variants of these.", but this is just getting stupid and lazy now. I suppose original ideas simply don't "bring in the green".

Tolerance

I love the fact that all religions state that they preach "tolerance", which they most likely did before the fundamentalist nutters got hold of them. Yes, we believe in tolerance, so long as you don't offend me or my religion in anyway I deem to be offensive!

@James - Well said!

"Why on earth does anyone think they are so f*cking important that they must continuously be in touch with everyone else (shortly before they become deceased forever!)?"

Exactly! Phone/text while driving, that gets my goat no end, you really a complete ass-hat of the first order. Do you really think that your that important or that invincible? Yah, well let's up the ante, you get in one of those electric cars and get it up to max speed in the fast lane, then start texting, I will then ask 10 lorry drivers high on angel dust to keep nudging you and we'll see how long you think you can last. Hey in fact, I think this is a great idea for a new game show!

The big one is when the butt-munch involved feels the need to walk out underground station and instantly they have to have that phone out to see how important they are and how many calls they have missed while they have been out of service for all of 10 mins maximum! The upshot of this moronic behaviour is to clog the pavement area directly outside said station, while the rest us have to try to dodge around the dawdling knut, trying to make our connection to the next mode of transport!

I don't get it?

Alright I appreciate, they're arse-covering, making sure nothing dodgy gets through, as the first granny and or young kids to see a front frontal while going down to the karzi, will sue the airline, but I have never got the point of the sort of person who felt the need to have that much pr0n that they need it with them all the time? Like the sad tosser, no pun intended, who has a 2 min bongo clip on his Blackberry/Nokia and insists on playing it while on a packed train! If you're that desperate, you need psychological help not technology!

Open Office is the way

For a cash strapped "organisation" like the education system in the UK, OO is the way forward, That money wasted, yes wasted on software licenses could be pumped make the education system work better as a whole, more equipment, better paid teachers.

What the hell do you need a bloated mess like MS Office 2007 in schools classrooms, not admin or offices in general, just the classroom? Kids simply need to understand the purpose of an office suite, WP, SS and Pres. I am not normally a big pusher of Foss but in this case it has real financial benefits, with no real loss of facilties for the target audience.

Take a step further, scrap Windows and go Ubuntu or whatever. I'll go you one further, vitualise. Make the PC a dumb X display and bounce the users set up from a server. If the "machine" screws up, the local school admin with limite tech knowledge, simply jumps on a browser inetrface, says wipe machine x34 with a new set up. No need to maintain dozens of seperate bits of kit, no risk of nasty viruses getting in from USB sticks that kids brought in as the virii won't propagate on a foreign system.

Sorry, but who the f**k is running the IT stratergy in this country? Oh sorry, of course all those fatcat labourites with positions on MS board or VARs with a big fat contract to sell on MS and other proprietry software!

So while kids in other countries are being exposed to lots of ways to use a PC, our lot are being dumped on again by a short sighted, greedy government!

Flame away!

@Mark

Yes, satanism is valid religion, as far as the other religions go, so yes that's fine for RE class.

Music appreciation in Maths? If the RIAA sues 55 defendents for copyright infringement on 2 CDs of the latest, talentless, supermarket, pop drivel at £15 each, how much can the lawyers in each case hope to obtain a) for their clients, per infringement and b) the lawyers fees?

SexED in geography? Well the sight of the Italian boot and the bulging bottom-shape of the USA coastlines get me going every time! I've gone too far haven't I? I'll get me...you know...

Love the Penguin, however...

I use it for work and play at home, fantastic it is too. At the end of the day, if you have kids or anyone not entirely tech savvy, the box is just going to be a glorified browser, mailbox and office suite, which is fine for most people, my folks included, but when granny buys little Johnny the latest DX10 game and it won't even install, there will be tears before bed time!

This has to be stressed by the vendors. When we say it's an "MS Alternative" we really mean it! It will not, with very few exceptions, be able to run any MS compatible software.

Set Professor Brian Cox on 'em!

To quote Brian, "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world, is a t**t!"

If anyone sounds like he has his head screwed on right, Brian's the man!

Not so much what they say

Anyone else driving along the wonderful highways and by-ways of the UK notice the number of signs has gone up? Notice that it's usually one team puts up a sign to highlight something, then some unrelated team turn up 2 months later and put another sign up, but the second one is usually about 2 feet behind the first!

About 2 months later some knob will call the local council and demand that a sign goes up to warn road users that, I dunno Fraggles may be crossing the roads and everyone needs to slow down. So another team turns up and puts the Beware of Fraggles sign, about 4 feet in front of the first one!

Come 2 years later, there are about 15 signs, mostly contradicting each other, in the space of 75 yards of road!

Fantastic!

Reminds me of Billy Connolly and the dangerous dogs

"So the government is worrying, what we gonna do about all the nutters with dangerous dogs? I know well make sure they register them at the Post Office! Yeah, that'll really have the tattooed fraternity quaking in their shoes!"

ToS breaches for terrorists?! Jeez, I'm sure Bin-Liner and his boys are really worried now. Listen Joe, I think BL and his lads are more worried making sure that next consignment of weapons makes it over the border next month, than you and your pathetic attempt to seal votes at the next election. Tosspot of the highest order!

Ah...

So this isn't some sad, PR trendy initiative by "the church" to ensure that the "young'uns" don't forget about religion in their quest to achive techno-nirvana?! Just checking.

Greedy old moo!

Sorry, I hope she loses, she sounds like a right greedy old wotnot. She was asked to remove it, her lawyer got the local council and the mayor himself to apologise for it's mistake, she put it back, end of story!

I understand we are getting more jumpy these days over our rights, and rightly so, we should stand up for our rights, but then the greedy people come in and start firing all sorts of demands off. People then wonder why the local councils do the same thing back, by demanding £300 fines for putting rubbish out too early on rubbish collection day!

Money makes the world go around...

Parodied in the TV show Reno 911.

Some of the rednecks go out the border to build a fence, get completely blotto and then offer the Mexicans crates of beer to build the fence for them. The Mexicans build the fence 10 feet north of where it should be and the rednecks get stuck on the wrong side. The Mexican border guards turn up and arrest the rednecks and the Mexicans run off into the US!