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* Posts by Matt Devney

41 posts • joined 1 Sep 2008

Brazilian baddies bank Boleto billions

Matt Devney

Krebs title is better

Brazilian ‘Boleto’ Bandits Bilk Billions

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Tales from an expert witness: Prior art and patent trolls

Matt Devney
Thumb Up

I know how to fix it!

All those experts that clients hire to prove prior art or whatever ought to work at the patent office instead. Then the bogus patents would never be granted in the first place, and all that legal stuff should go away.

Unfortunately, there might not be as many helicopters for these experts if that happened, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind in order to make the world a better place!

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'F-CK YOU GOOGLE+' ukelele missy scoops BIG WAD of $$ - for Google

Matt Devney
WTF?

Re: @Hokiecow

Who is Matt Bryant? If it's the Atlanta Falcons Kicker, then I don't get the joke/reference.

EDIT: I've found him now... never mind.

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Gov.uk named THE BEST THING Britain has made all year

Matt Devney
Go

Re: Rubbish

You might wish to use a bookmark.

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AMAZEBALLS: Buy a doomed Apple TV, get a replacement free

Matt Devney
Stop

Re: I always thought

Are you stating that an internet connected TV is useless? That there is nothing online from any provider that could benefit from being shown on a TV instead of a computer? I'm not sure I follow your argument there, as iPlayer, ITV Player, 4OD and Youtube are all handy on my TV. Are you one of those "I have a PC in my lounge that's all I need" people or is it somerthing else?

Disclaimer - I don't have an Apple TV so if your comment is about that specific device and it truly is a pile of rubbish, I understand. But you didn't state it in your post so I don't know :-)

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Slideshow: A History of the Smartphone in 20 Handsets

Matt Devney

Nokia 7650

I remember buying one of these, and getting one for my wife as well as no-one else we knew had one at the time and we needed someone to send the photo messages to! 0.3 mega pixels!

It looked lovely, and I liked the solid feel to it, but our network was crap and expensive so we hardly used the photo msg functionality.

At least the slidey cover was swish and was well engineered - unlike more recent samsung and htc mobiles I could mention...

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Microsoft explains bland new Windows logo

Matt Devney
Megaphone

I read all the comments...

And no-one said the most obvious statement: all that matters in the way it looks is that it must be inoffensive. It achieves that simple goal.

And why should it be inoffensive? Because the vast majority of computer users/buyers have their OS chosen for them by someone else. And that 'someone' does not care about the quality of the brand logo. So it really really REALLY doesn't fecking matter.

Marketing? WGAFF?

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Samsung confirms Android 4.0 update for Galaxy S II

Matt Devney

Now then...

...this would be good if I could only get the bloomin' software to work (Kies)!

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Ten... best Blu-ray movies of 2011

Matt Devney
Trollface

Hmm...

For the record, I quite like most of the content listed here, for a variety of reasons.

[sarcasm] You know, I reckon that if I watched any of these films in normal DVD and then in BD my only possible response would be "Oh my god! What have I been watching all these years? I must replace all my collection now! Such a fool, a FOOL I have been to be wasting my time with this crap that I've subjecting my eyes to all this time!" What I certainly WON'T be saying is "Hmm... can't really notice the difference in average viewing conditions. Well, looks like I can continue with my current viewing and *ahem* SPENDING patterns without worrying or wasting disposable income then!" [/sarcasm]

And so on and so forth. BD is slightly better but this collection of best ten 'best' don't sway me that it's gob-smackingly different. I'll wait until there's no choice except BD (or its replacement).

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Samsung reveals Ice Cream Sarnie updates for 2012

Matt Devney
Facepalm

I meant Gingerbread, obviously

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Matt Devney
Thumb Up

Yay!

Just got a Galaxy S II after having a dog of a phone for 3 years and thought I'd be stuck with Honeycomb when everyone else had moved on.

But I'll be able to keep up for maybe another 6 months - yay for delayed forced obsolescence.

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I saw Facebook's music service 3 years ago. Done properly

Matt Devney

typo

There is no new money is coming into this system

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Ford unwraps Evos cloud-connected concept car

Matt Devney
Holmes

Looks like...

...an Aston.

So, you could probably get a Ford that looks like that, but would have to pay perhaps a 10000% premium with a different badge on it. You choose :-)

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Acer to announce ultrabook at IFA

Matt Devney
IT Angle

What the heck is...

..."minimal design"?

Acer designer:

"We thought a bit about putting an innovative keyboard on it and a multi-touch trackpad, but thought 'fuck it' and did the same as the previous model as per the 'minimal design' brief"

If they had written minimalist design, I'd give the PR department a bit more respect. But not much more.

I hate PR. And adverts. And marketing. And all that other crap peddled by fuckers who know knob all about the products concerned, but loads about spending a great deal of time and money talking about nothing.

Bastards.

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Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

Matt Devney
Coat

What a...

...cock and bull story

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Samsung EX1 compact camera

Matt Devney
FAIL

Grammar fail?

for those deciding on compact EVIL shooter

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Virgin unwraps three-tuner über set-top

Matt Devney

typo

so don't have to.

^ they

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Motorola tugs itself to bits in mobo-go-solo schism pact

Matt Devney
Headmaster

Umm.. ahead of schedule? Really?

"The schedule called for the two companies to separate in the first quarter of 2011, so 4 January is actually ahead of schedule."

That actually seems like on schedule to me.

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Monarchist marks fall for faux royal wedding ticket site

Matt Devney

typo

free online website building package *top* set up a spoof site

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Google TV mimics Android's closed openness

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Foursquare falls down, lurches back up

Matt Devney

Sarcasm

Sarcastic usage.

Sigh.

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Trek fans served Enterprise-grade pastry slicer

Matt Devney

re: my 2c

Its the recession. Even gnerds are suffering and are taking to shop-bought examples of their favourite food.

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Google maximizes minimalist homepage madness

Matt Devney

minimalism

Err.. the search bar is pretty minimal, as it doesn't need the home page at all...

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Matt Devney

Get it to work

Works in FF3 without the script if you type in

www.google.com/ncr

IE6 doesn't like it though, even with the script.

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Ridley Scott signs up to direct Alien prequel

Matt Devney
Go

I quite liked all the Alien Quadrilogy

I really liked #2 the best though. Got bored at times with 1,3 & 4, but overall liked them. Cannot remember if I have seen either of the AVP ones - I'll probably watch them sometime...

Anyway, to the point. Hollywood would want to build upon the so-called 'touch points' of the franchise (forget AVP - that's a different franchise), so it's likely it'll be set in Nostromo-era outer space, with humans as the protagonists.

Also, they would have The Company there - so we can have big spaceships as either a set or as plot device. That would also help us to empathise with the victims (who doesn't know of a faceless, soulless company willing to do anything to get what it wants?)

But, would they use LV426? I think that the execs would find it good to include the set with the dead alien 'navigator' in it: (http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/1979_alien_006.html) That guy was huge!

It has opportunity in that it already had humans on there, and that we don't really know that much about their history (LV426 could have been quite populous for a time, but restricted to a particular area geographically. By the time Alien came around, the tech to colonise out to where the alien ship was is present, but interest in the planet itself has waned. Or something)

But it presents issues in that my explanation above is messy, and why make it that messy? I'm sure Hollywood has its best scriptwriting minds on that very subject RIGHT NOW.

So, using yet another spaceship (again, a touch point for the series) is more likely. But that just makes it into a Alien 'Shared World' movie. Not necessarily a prequel. Unless they put in it the date or something - but even then , I don't think just having it chronologically earlier than Alien would make it a prequel. It has to have an obvious connection IMNSHO.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. And if it's anything like the last time I posted a message to El Reg, I'll be the last person to post anyway, as everyone will have lost interest by now...

As an aside I think that John Square Posted Tuesday 4th August 2009 08:01 GMT was a good post on this. Thanks John.

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Intel cozying up to Google Chrome OS

Matt Devney
FAIL

I feel a quote coming on...

"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the special Olympics..."

And I'm done.

(apologies to any Olympians reading these boards, but it's only a simile)

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Police union leader calls for 'killer games' sales ban

Matt Devney
Thumb Down

If I may change the statement ever so slightly...

Heini Schmitt, head of the Hessen branch of the German police union, wants sales of these sandwiches and crisps and other digestible foodstuffs to be blocked because, he claimed, “in every situation in which a violent rampage has occurred”, the perpetrator had a "meal sometime beforehand”.

Get cause and effect sorted, halfwit.

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Has Microsoft matched Flash with Silverlight 3?

Matt Devney

Market Share

Just bundle it with windows...

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Unix world braces for geekgasm

Matt Devney
Coat

Damn! Missed it!

What is UTC anyway? Can't the whole world just use UK time?

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LG X110 netbook

Matt Devney
IT Angle

pink

I think lots of these will be bought in the run up to Feb 14th...

And the users of these machines will hardly care about the specs as long as it has a 'Start' button and is shiny & pink.

My wife already wants one. Honestly, I despair sometimes.

Where's the IT angle merely because it hardly matters to my wife, and presumably others.

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Ubuntu's Shuttleworth praises Windows 7, welcomes fight

Matt Devney
Linux

Proofreader anyone?

Linux is more expensive that Windows XP

Microsoft isn't exactly be subsidizing Windows

exclusion of all other operation systems

Again, the pedantic nitpicker in me comes to the fore.

Penguin just coz

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Mom stole daughter's ID to shake pom-poms

Matt Devney
Coat

@Re: @Sarah Bee (at Sarah Bee, I think)

"muy lame to start bleating"

I take it you have met at least one man. We're all like that. Surprised you hadn't noticed.

You were still wrong though weren't you? I don't think the 'OK' at the beginning of your retort qualifies as acknowledging this fully, do you?

All men have a tendency towards the pedantic too...

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Brand new Star Trek prequel pics and trailer

Matt Devney
Thumb Up

Why on earth is a title required? Can't it default to something obvious?

Well, that looks good. The Register didn't really do it justice with the scene by scene description. The neat stuff:

the believability of the universe (background detail, costumes, dialogue)

the quality of the action (cinematography, cgi, speed+clarity)

the sound effect at the end, and the font of the title

They've done a good job _on the trailer_

Let's see what the film is like now...

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Euro court blocks Lego trademark bid

Matt Devney

Prior Art

Lego is 50 years old, so the art might be theirs anyway. I suppose all this is because there is a lot of building block toys out there now that ape Lego and have comparable quality (Mega Bloks was laughable 5 years ago - now it is a definite rival, cringeworthy misspelling in the name notwithstanding).

So why not shapemark the little bloke (minifig to give them the official name)? They can't be 'functional' can they?

I'm off to build my 497 Galaxy Explorer now. Happy days...

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Gadget Show competition spews text spam

Matt Devney
Thumb Down

back to the point, almost

I once sent off for a FREE U2 ringtone via a service message received on my phone. The message was from orange and said "text STOP to 88888 (or some such) at any time to prevent reverse billing"

So I thought, fine, I'll get the ringtone and immediately text stop to prevent them charging me. I sent the message. I got the ringtone (not bad actually, but would never need to do this nowadays). Then, I started to write the 'STOP' message. Whilst doing this (four letters plus hitting 'send'), I received another TEN advert messages costing me £1.50, before I finally sent my termination message.

Needless to say, Orange got a very annoyed customer on their helpline after this and they refunded the cost of the texts, but only because "This service was offered by Orange". This meant that if it was a 3rd party I wouldn't have got my money back.

Just a warning...

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Defra drafts proper pet practice for the daft

Matt Devney
IT Angle

This isn't bootnotes or odds & sods or entertainment so...

Where is the IT angle? Sarah is normally more on the ball as regards these things...

On a more positive/relevant note, it will allow more confiscation of animals because none of these bottom feeders can now say "I wasn't told I needed to care for the damn thing" or some such excuse. It's less about ensuring good care and more about removal of plausible deniability.

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YaGoogleSoft! adopt voluntary 'code of ethics'

Matt Devney

Title

I think MicrooGoohoo! is a better made-up word. Technically an added 'o' but it still works I think.

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ITV gets adverts into video

Matt Devney
Unhappy

The is no such thing as empty space

The video maker shot it like that for a reason. Not to get some digital fly-poster using it to flog stuff.

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Superfluid leak downs LHC for months

Matt Devney
Paris Hilton

Be the first to comment!

Just wanted to be first... Moderation notwithstanding of course...

Slightly more on-topic: I think the author has read Watchmen or seen The Hulk once too many times, and not The Fly.

Completely off-topic now: if Off Topic is abbr. OT, what is On Topic abbr. as?

Matt

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45th Mersenne prime discovered (possibly)

Matt Devney
Alert

"required"

All the discussion here is very interesting, but there's a very important point I think everyone's overlooked!

George Woltman was on holiday. So:

"the verification process didn't begin until the 26th. He estimates completion on September 12 and September 16."

ON September 12 AND September 16 - are they not sure on the first date? Or do they check again on the 16th? Or does it depend on some sort of fractal alternate universe timing because reality has been warped by the computing power of these connected machines? Shall our universe implode if the 2 answers don't agree?

Or is it a typo...? Naaah.

And for those asking "why not find a cure to cancer instead?" - I'm not an expert (obviously) but I'm not sure that loads of computer CPUs churning through a load of numbers is the way to find such a cure. In fact, they're only really useful for this kind of abstract stuff.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. Cheers!

Matt

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